Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Fetish? What's A Fetish? ❯ Toys That Fly ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serac 
Toys that fly are the coolest kind.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.23.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 1.7K | Status: Work In Progress
Toys that fly are the coolest kind.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.23.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 1.7K | Status: Work In Progress
-----Author’s note: I’m going to recycle a scene from another fic I have, and change it up to suit my wants. I know a couple of you will know it, but most won’t. Well, it’s still a good scene. I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“.....Why’s she crying? Did you do something to her?”
“She’s not crying because of anything I did, man.”
“Then what the hell’s the problem?”
Naruto and Ino had been sitting together at Ichiraku’s for a good while. Most of this time had been spent by the male of the duo trying to console the whimpering and crying female over the loss of Sasuke’s innocence to someone other than herself. She knew that it had to be done (For her sake), but that didn’t make it much easier to accept. Ino had lapsed into all out bawling when Ayame asked them through a grin if they were on a date. It was at this point that Kiba and Shino decided to show up.
Knowing he needed to come up with a story, and fast, Naruto just shot off the first thing that came to his mind, “.....Uh.....she’s having her.....what is it? Her.....comma.....or something.....”
“Her period?” Shino suggested, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, that’s it!” Naruto snapped his fingers, recalling reading in one of those teen magazines that a girl and her period could get emotional, “She’s really serious about her grammar. Bel.....”
Now Kiba raised an eyebrow, “What were you about to say?”
With a little grimace, Naruto replied, “I almost said ‘believe it’.....”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Good thing I stopped myself, I would have sounded like an idiot!”
Shino sighed, sitting next to Ino, “This coming from the guy who thinks that a period has something to do with grammar. Great.”
Kiba, rather ungracefully, shoved Naruto back further into the booth, dropping down beside him with a grunt, “Hey, old man! Send me whatever Naruto’s got coming!” He called out, arm waving around as if his boisterous voice wasn’t enough to get Mr. Ichiraku’s attention.
Tilting his head to the side, the blonde asked, “What are you talking about? What else could a period have to do with anything, if not writing stuff?”
Kiba laughed, “It also has to do with blood, pain, and psycho mood swings.”
“Like in a fight!” Naruto exclaimed, nodding rapidly as though the light of understanding now shone upon him.
“What, you have psycho mood swings in fights?” Akamaru now peeked out of Kiba’s jacket, sniffing around at the pleasant scent of ramen.
Shino raised a hand to silence the two, his other arm around Ino’s shoulders as he attempted to comfort her, “No, Naruto, not like in a fight. Every month, women.....” The bug user stopped talking and shifted out of the booth to allow the suddenly anxious to be somewhere else Ino out. She quickly hurried into the bathroom as Shino returned to his seat.
“What was her hurry?” The blonde wondered aloud, grinning broadly as Mr. Ichiraku set his food before him.
“You’re an idiot, Naruto,” Kiba groaned, quick to stuff his face with his own food.
-
‘Oh my God, they’re all idiots!’ Ino cursed the world as she locked herself into a bathroom stall so she could sort out her frazzled mind.
-
“Hey, don’t call me an idiot!”
“Then stop being one!”
“Enough,” Shino rose to his feet, “It’s obvious that Ino’s in pain, so we should do what we can to help her. Finish eating, we’re going to the store.”
-
“Really? .....Well, that’s an interesting turn of events. .....Yes, I’ll arrange for a little alone time between them. After all, they gave their word, and a promise is a promise.”
Shizune watched in silence as Tsunade spoke with someone over the phone, a stern look on both women’s faces. The blonde Hokage had been having her trail Naruto ever since he asked her what sex was because she had guessed, rather accurately, that it would be interesting to watch his education unfold. It was with a heavy conscience that Shizune allowed Sasuke to remain in Anko’s.....care.
“.....No, I will not ask Genma to video tape them, and if I find out you did, I’ll shove a flag pole up your ass. .....If you ever say that to me again, I’ll pop your hollow head right off your shoulders and use it as a planter. .....No, after this one, we’re even. I don’t ever want to hear about that ugly mess again, and I will never tolerate blackmail like this ever, ever again. Do you understand? .....Though that may be the truth, that doesn’t mean he’s yours to corrupt, you pig!” Tsunade slammed the phone down onto the hook.
“So?” Shizune asked timidly, not particularly keen on hearing the answer though she knew she must.
“Get me Naruto, Ino, and Sakura. I have a mission for them,” The Hokage growled, though Shizune could catch a hint of a grin behind her facade. She definitely wasn’t truly angry.
“I don’t think you should send them off together, Tsunade-sama. There’s a chance that they.....you know.....” Shizune turned a little red, unable to finish her sentence.
“That’s the whole point! That damned Jiraiya is blackmailing me to get me to pull this together, and I have no choice but to comply.....” Tsunade hung her head in well feigned defeat.
“You didn’t try awfully hard to get out of it.....Wait, Jiraiya-sama knows about Naruto’s question, too? How did he know about that? How did he know about Sakura and Ino’s agreement to teach him some?” Shizune, now thoroughly perplexed, stared at Tsunade for an answer.
“That’s a good question, Shizune. He should be out monitoring Akatsuki’s movements, not sneaking around the village, trying to raise a protégé.....Well, bring Naruto and the other two here immediately. If you spot any sign of Jiraiya, let me know. Also, I want you to follow the three of them and make sure that lecher doesn’t tape them, or watch, or something.....” Tsunade shivered at the thought.
“What? I don’t want to go! I’ll hear things!”
“Now, Shizune.”
“But Tsunade-sama-”
“Now!”
-
“ ;Playtex, Kotex, Tampax.....Why do they all end in ‘X’?” Our orange-clad hero asked in wonder, lifting one of the myriad boxes into the air and looking it over, “What the hell does it need wings for?”
“What do you think?” Shino asked blandly, looking a box over, himself.
With a shrug, Naruto guessed, “To fly?”
“Yes, Naruto, the tampon has wings so it can fly,” The second ninja replied sarcastically.
Since it was sarcasm, from Shino who rarely changes his tone of voice, Naruto missed it completely, “Wow, so tampons are flying toys that make people feel better during a rough time period.”
Shikamaru Nara, who had been shopping for various ninja goods that just so happened to be near the lady’s department, spotted his two friends, and hurried up to them from behind only to hear Naruto declare, “You know, I can think of a few times when I could have used a tampon.” He quickly wheeled around, and made off in the opposite direction. He might as well just stay away from Naruto indefinitely. He couldn’t stop thinking about the sexy no jutsu gone terribly, terribly wrong.
“I think you may have gotten the wrong idea about tampons and periods, Naruto,” Shino stated, now looking over a box of Kotex, trying to figure out which brand was the best, most fixing Ino kind.
“I think YOU have the wrong idea about tampons and periods, Shino,” Naruto retorted, popping one of the boxes open so he could reach in and take one out.
“Hey, you can’t do that!” Shino groaned, though he made no effort to stop the boy.
“Relax, I’ll pay for it. We’re getting them for Ino, anyway, right?” He seemed to have forgotten that Ino wasn’t suffering through any sort of grammar induced pain, and that he really didn’t need to be wasting his money on flying toys to make her feel better. Oh well.
The boy pulled out a tampon, still enclosed in its crinkly wrapper, “Geez, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a wrapper make this much noise,” The blonde laughed, squeezing the tampon a little bit to produce the obnoxious noise.
“Naruto, I’m serious. Put that back, it’s not for you to play with.”
“Sure it is! I’m feeling kinda emotional, so I want a tampon, too!” Deciding that he had enjoyed the pointlessly loud wrapper long enough, Naruto ripped the tampon open and held the plastic tube thing in his hands as he gawked at it in confusion.
Shino lowered his head with a sigh, wishing he had brought Kiba, instead, and had left Naruto to watch over Ino.
“.....Where’re the wings?” The hyperactive ninja asked in wonder, spinning the thing around between his fingers as he looked it over, “I see it’s got a tail, but no wings.....”
“It’s a mystery,” The bug user mumbled, now wondering what size he was supposed to get, “How am I supposed to know something like that?”
Naruto took the tampon by the string at the end, and started to swing it around over his head, “Shino, I think I’ve figured it out!” He cheered happily as the tampon began to gain momentum, “The wings will come out when it’s airborne, that’s gotta be it! Fly, tampon, fly!” He snickered, letting the brilliant toy loose so that it flew through the air, crossing the store in one mighty bound.
“Did you just throw a tampon across the store?” Shino asked, hardly able to believe Naruto’s stupidity.
“It’s about to be two!” Naruto grinned, reaching for another, “These things do make you feel good!”
Shino snatched the box of feminine items away from Naruto, pointing to the frozen foods aisle, “No. Look, just go get her some ice cream, that helps, too.”
Nodding with vigor, the blonde asked, “What kind should I get?”
“The kind where the name implies that you’ll have to suffer for all of eternity should you choose to enjoy its dairy goodness. I forget the name, exactly, but you’ll know it when you see it.”
Still nodding, a grin etched all over his face, Naruto marched down to the frozen food aisle.
A few seconds after Naruto’s departure, Shino’s tampon investigation was interrupted by an angry voice coming from behind him, “Shino! You threw that tampon at me?”
A drop of sweat sliding down his face, Shino turned to find Kurenai glaring at him, the guilty tampon dangling from her hand.
“Forbidden chocolate decadence.....limited edition sin complex.....” Naruto read aloud, holding the tub of what might have been the best looking ice cream ever, “I’d go to hell for this, that’s for sure!” Always one to think of his stomach before his soul, Naruto turned to return to Shino’s side, only to be stopped by Shizune.
“Naruto, Tsunade-sama’s got a mission for you,” The woman stated solemnly, taking him by the arm and leading him through the store to the exit.
“A mission? Great! But.....I was getting some stuff for Ino.....” Naruto admitted, though he didn’t resist her tug.
“Take the ice cream with you. Ino will be joining you and Sakura for this mission,” Shizune explained, careful not to make eye contact with Naruto.
“But what about Sasuke? .....I mean.....”
“We’re aware that Sasuke’s.....preoccupied, at the moment, and Ino will be filling in for him for the duration of the mission. The other two are already there, so hurry it up!”
-----Author’s other note: I would like to publicly thank dummy plug of NarutoFan forums for all of his time and effort spent in making a fan club for my Naruto fictions. Also, thank you to the multitude of people who even made banners for it! Why would I thank them here, and not there? Well, I already thanked them there, but here more people will see the thank you, so there we go.
Thanks for reading.....-----
“.....Why’s she crying? Did you do something to her?”
“She’s not crying because of anything I did, man.”
“Then what the hell’s the problem?”
Naruto and Ino had been sitting together at Ichiraku’s for a good while. Most of this time had been spent by the male of the duo trying to console the whimpering and crying female over the loss of Sasuke’s innocence to someone other than herself. She knew that it had to be done (For her sake), but that didn’t make it much easier to accept. Ino had lapsed into all out bawling when Ayame asked them through a grin if they were on a date. It was at this point that Kiba and Shino decided to show up.
Knowing he needed to come up with a story, and fast, Naruto just shot off the first thing that came to his mind, “.....Uh.....she’s having her.....what is it? Her.....comma.....or something.....”
“Her period?” Shino suggested, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, that’s it!” Naruto snapped his fingers, recalling reading in one of those teen magazines that a girl and her period could get emotional, “She’s really serious about her grammar. Bel.....”
Now Kiba raised an eyebrow, “What were you about to say?”
With a little grimace, Naruto replied, “I almost said ‘believe it’.....”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Good thing I stopped myself, I would have sounded like an idiot!”
Shino sighed, sitting next to Ino, “This coming from the guy who thinks that a period has something to do with grammar. Great.”
Kiba, rather ungracefully, shoved Naruto back further into the booth, dropping down beside him with a grunt, “Hey, old man! Send me whatever Naruto’s got coming!” He called out, arm waving around as if his boisterous voice wasn’t enough to get Mr. Ichiraku’s attention.
Tilting his head to the side, the blonde asked, “What are you talking about? What else could a period have to do with anything, if not writing stuff?”
Kiba laughed, “It also has to do with blood, pain, and psycho mood swings.”
“Like in a fight!” Naruto exclaimed, nodding rapidly as though the light of understanding now shone upon him.
“What, you have psycho mood swings in fights?” Akamaru now peeked out of Kiba’s jacket, sniffing around at the pleasant scent of ramen.
Shino raised a hand to silence the two, his other arm around Ino’s shoulders as he attempted to comfort her, “No, Naruto, not like in a fight. Every month, women.....” The bug user stopped talking and shifted out of the booth to allow the suddenly anxious to be somewhere else Ino out. She quickly hurried into the bathroom as Shino returned to his seat.
“What was her hurry?” The blonde wondered aloud, grinning broadly as Mr. Ichiraku set his food before him.
“You’re an idiot, Naruto,” Kiba groaned, quick to stuff his face with his own food.
-
‘Oh my God, they’re all idiots!’ Ino cursed the world as she locked herself into a bathroom stall so she could sort out her frazzled mind.
-
“Hey, don’t call me an idiot!”
“Then stop being one!”
“Enough,” Shino rose to his feet, “It’s obvious that Ino’s in pain, so we should do what we can to help her. Finish eating, we’re going to the store.”
-
“Really? .....Well, that’s an interesting turn of events. .....Yes, I’ll arrange for a little alone time between them. After all, they gave their word, and a promise is a promise.”
Shizune watched in silence as Tsunade spoke with someone over the phone, a stern look on both women’s faces. The blonde Hokage had been having her trail Naruto ever since he asked her what sex was because she had guessed, rather accurately, that it would be interesting to watch his education unfold. It was with a heavy conscience that Shizune allowed Sasuke to remain in Anko’s.....care.
“.....No, I will not ask Genma to video tape them, and if I find out you did, I’ll shove a flag pole up your ass. .....If you ever say that to me again, I’ll pop your hollow head right off your shoulders and use it as a planter. .....No, after this one, we’re even. I don’t ever want to hear about that ugly mess again, and I will never tolerate blackmail like this ever, ever again. Do you understand? .....Though that may be the truth, that doesn’t mean he’s yours to corrupt, you pig!” Tsunade slammed the phone down onto the hook.
“So?” Shizune asked timidly, not particularly keen on hearing the answer though she knew she must.
“Get me Naruto, Ino, and Sakura. I have a mission for them,” The Hokage growled, though Shizune could catch a hint of a grin behind her facade. She definitely wasn’t truly angry.
“I don’t think you should send them off together, Tsunade-sama. There’s a chance that they.....you know.....” Shizune turned a little red, unable to finish her sentence.
“That’s the whole point! That damned Jiraiya is blackmailing me to get me to pull this together, and I have no choice but to comply.....” Tsunade hung her head in well feigned defeat.
“You didn’t try awfully hard to get out of it.....Wait, Jiraiya-sama knows about Naruto’s question, too? How did he know about that? How did he know about Sakura and Ino’s agreement to teach him some?” Shizune, now thoroughly perplexed, stared at Tsunade for an answer.
“That’s a good question, Shizune. He should be out monitoring Akatsuki’s movements, not sneaking around the village, trying to raise a protégé.....Well, bring Naruto and the other two here immediately. If you spot any sign of Jiraiya, let me know. Also, I want you to follow the three of them and make sure that lecher doesn’t tape them, or watch, or something.....” Tsunade shivered at the thought.
“What? I don’t want to go! I’ll hear things!”
“Now, Shizune.”
“But Tsunade-sama-”
“Now!”
-
“ ;Playtex, Kotex, Tampax.....Why do they all end in ‘X’?” Our orange-clad hero asked in wonder, lifting one of the myriad boxes into the air and looking it over, “What the hell does it need wings for?”
“What do you think?” Shino asked blandly, looking a box over, himself.
With a shrug, Naruto guessed, “To fly?”
“Yes, Naruto, the tampon has wings so it can fly,” The second ninja replied sarcastically.
Since it was sarcasm, from Shino who rarely changes his tone of voice, Naruto missed it completely, “Wow, so tampons are flying toys that make people feel better during a rough time period.”
Shikamaru Nara, who had been shopping for various ninja goods that just so happened to be near the lady’s department, spotted his two friends, and hurried up to them from behind only to hear Naruto declare, “You know, I can think of a few times when I could have used a tampon.” He quickly wheeled around, and made off in the opposite direction. He might as well just stay away from Naruto indefinitely. He couldn’t stop thinking about the sexy no jutsu gone terribly, terribly wrong.
“I think you may have gotten the wrong idea about tampons and periods, Naruto,” Shino stated, now looking over a box of Kotex, trying to figure out which brand was the best, most fixing Ino kind.
“I think YOU have the wrong idea about tampons and periods, Shino,” Naruto retorted, popping one of the boxes open so he could reach in and take one out.
“Hey, you can’t do that!” Shino groaned, though he made no effort to stop the boy.
“Relax, I’ll pay for it. We’re getting them for Ino, anyway, right?” He seemed to have forgotten that Ino wasn’t suffering through any sort of grammar induced pain, and that he really didn’t need to be wasting his money on flying toys to make her feel better. Oh well.
The boy pulled out a tampon, still enclosed in its crinkly wrapper, “Geez, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a wrapper make this much noise,” The blonde laughed, squeezing the tampon a little bit to produce the obnoxious noise.
“Naruto, I’m serious. Put that back, it’s not for you to play with.”
“Sure it is! I’m feeling kinda emotional, so I want a tampon, too!” Deciding that he had enjoyed the pointlessly loud wrapper long enough, Naruto ripped the tampon open and held the plastic tube thing in his hands as he gawked at it in confusion.
Shino lowered his head with a sigh, wishing he had brought Kiba, instead, and had left Naruto to watch over Ino.
“.....Where’re the wings?” The hyperactive ninja asked in wonder, spinning the thing around between his fingers as he looked it over, “I see it’s got a tail, but no wings.....”
“It’s a mystery,” The bug user mumbled, now wondering what size he was supposed to get, “How am I supposed to know something like that?”
Naruto took the tampon by the string at the end, and started to swing it around over his head, “Shino, I think I’ve figured it out!” He cheered happily as the tampon began to gain momentum, “The wings will come out when it’s airborne, that’s gotta be it! Fly, tampon, fly!” He snickered, letting the brilliant toy loose so that it flew through the air, crossing the store in one mighty bound.
“Did you just throw a tampon across the store?” Shino asked, hardly able to believe Naruto’s stupidity.
“It’s about to be two!” Naruto grinned, reaching for another, “These things do make you feel good!”
Shino snatched the box of feminine items away from Naruto, pointing to the frozen foods aisle, “No. Look, just go get her some ice cream, that helps, too.”
Nodding with vigor, the blonde asked, “What kind should I get?”
“The kind where the name implies that you’ll have to suffer for all of eternity should you choose to enjoy its dairy goodness. I forget the name, exactly, but you’ll know it when you see it.”
Still nodding, a grin etched all over his face, Naruto marched down to the frozen food aisle.
A few seconds after Naruto’s departure, Shino’s tampon investigation was interrupted by an angry voice coming from behind him, “Shino! You threw that tampon at me?”
A drop of sweat sliding down his face, Shino turned to find Kurenai glaring at him, the guilty tampon dangling from her hand.
“Forbidden chocolate decadence.....limited edition sin complex.....” Naruto read aloud, holding the tub of what might have been the best looking ice cream ever, “I’d go to hell for this, that’s for sure!” Always one to think of his stomach before his soul, Naruto turned to return to Shino’s side, only to be stopped by Shizune.
“Naruto, Tsunade-sama’s got a mission for you,” The woman stated solemnly, taking him by the arm and leading him through the store to the exit.
“A mission? Great! But.....I was getting some stuff for Ino.....” Naruto admitted, though he didn’t resist her tug.
“Take the ice cream with you. Ino will be joining you and Sakura for this mission,” Shizune explained, careful not to make eye contact with Naruto.
“But what about Sasuke? .....I mean.....”
“We’re aware that Sasuke’s.....preoccupied, at the moment, and Ino will be filling in for him for the duration of the mission. The other two are already there, so hurry it up!”
-----Author’s other note: I would like to publicly thank dummy plug of NarutoFan forums for all of his time and effort spent in making a fan club for my Naruto fictions. Also, thank you to the multitude of people who even made banners for it! Why would I thank them here, and not there? Well, I already thanked them there, but here more people will see the thank you, so there we go.
Thanks for reading.....-----