Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ For The Pleasure of Her Company ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: evefaxton 
It's that time of year again... Fundraisers!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.04.2011 | Updated On: 07.04.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 291 | Status: Work In Progress
It's that time of year again... Fundraisers!
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.04.2011 | Updated On: 07.04.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 291 | Status: Work In Progress
I do not own Naruto nor make any profit from it
Chapter Two
One month earlier...
The shinobi hospital looked shiny and new as did most of Konohakagure three years after being razed to the ground by the Akatsuki. Civilians and ninja wandered in and out of the medical complex with everything returning to business as usual before the attack. The village was still rebuilding with the essentials finished first, but followed by the residential and retail districts. The spirit of fire continued to burn in Konoha and it was agreed that everything was gonna be bigger and better.
Weary from a long morning of medical examination after the next, Sakura and Ino pushed through the doors of the emergency ward and they checked out for lunch about an hour after everyone else.
“Oooh my aching head,” moaned Ino as she rubbed her temples with healing chakra, “I've had one hell of a day and it's only half done.”
“I know what you mean,” grumbled Sakura and opened the break room door for the both of them. The two medic-nin plopped themselves at the table in the break room. In a corner were a couple of other nurses on their lunch break and sitting next to a television playing an old movie musical.
Sakura tilted her head back to get a better look at the screen, “What's that?”
“Don't you recognize it,” said Ino as she picked up her onigiri, “It's Bye Bye Birdie. Certainly one of the oldies but goodies. Sweet beautiful love set to catchy musical numbers.”
Unimpressed, Sakura rolled her eyes while opening her lunch and stuck out her tongue, “Blech! How could you idolize such stupidity. Look at her twirling and skipping like an absolute twit, spouting nonsense about changing men and wearing fancy clothes. A wannabe ballerina with no clue of what life has in store for her. Life's not lovely,” she shouted back at the television, “In fact IT SUCKS! It sucks harder than a twenty ryo whore!”
“Ugh!” gasped the others, “Really! Of all the nerve,” Upset by Sakura's ranting, the two nurses picked up their bento boxes and rushed out of the break room.
Placing hands on hips, Ino clucked her tongue at the other medic, “That was unnecessary, Sakura-chan.”
Sakura shrugged and continued eating, “On the contrary, now we get the break room all to ourselves.”
Then door swung opened and the head medic on duty walked through, “Hello, girls.”
“Hello, Shizune-neesan,” chimed Sakura and Ino.
To Sakura's annoyance, Shizune flipped the television back on and chirped, “Ooh, I haven't seen this in years!”
“Not again,” whined Sakura, “What's so fascinating about a sad, pathetic creature mooning over some stupid unattainable guy. Leave it to the movies to create fantasies then laugh when daydream castles crack at the seams. All the while they're recording the aftermath for a drama series. Ka-ching!”
Shizune chuckled as she poured coffee into a mug and sat next to Ino, “Don't take the movie so seriously, Sakura. This part is about teenage love in it's pure, virginal form.”
With a nasty sneer, Sakura mumbled into her tea, “Virginal is right.”
“I meant in a good way,” chided Shizune, “True love, unadulterated by the hassles and confusion that having a normal relationship brings.”
“If it's obviously not real then why encourage this horrible dribble?”
Shizune studied the pink medic nin with pity in her eyes, “Because it's nice to dream, Sakura. Don't you dream anymore?”
The kunoichi snorted, “Those kind of dreams are for suckers.”
Ino shook her head and whispered to Shizune, “Sakura's going through a phase. There's nothing you can do or say to change her mind. At her last birthday, she lost her inner-romantic and it was replaced with a bra-burning feminist.”
“I don't care what you two are whispering over there, but you won't catch me dancing about my bedroom half-naked, singing, and glowing like a firefly hopped up on hormones.”
“Sure, Sakura,” drawled Ino, “Whatever you say, but when you do fall in love and make a total fool of yourself, I will be there to rub your nose in every last bit of humiliation.”
“Then you'll have to wait a long, long time,” Sakura bit into an almond cookie and settled into her chair like a queen on her throne, “Cause there's no way that will happen. Not in a million years! Never!”
Shaking their heads at her obstinance, Ino and Shizune gave up and walked out of the break room.
….
It was late that afternoon when Shizune poked her head through the office of the Hokage. She checked to see if her boss was hard at work with mission requests and heard the woman swearing at the never ending mountain of paperwork.
Figuring now would be a good time to distract her superior, Shizune knocked and carried some more papers to set on the Hokage's desk, “Tsunade-sama, If you have a moment to spare, I have a special request from Sarutobi Kurenai.”
“Oh no,” groaned Tsunade, “What is it now?” She placed the pen down and rubbed the bridge of her nose in hopes of alleviating her headache.
Shizune pulled out a request form and gave it to Tsunade, “She handed this to me yesterday and asked if I could rush this to you. The Konoha Academy is running low on funds and they need money for new equipment. The carpenters we hired after the attack were quick, but Kurenai noticed water damage from leaks in the window frames and some doors are about to fall of their hinges. Also the orphanage basement flooded, which killed the hot water heaters, and their roof is due for some repairs as well. ”
“Damn! When it rains, it pours. I'm sure there must be some place in the budget that we can squeeze a bit of money from.”
“Only a pittance in compared to the need, Tsunade-sama.”
“Well then!” Tsunade clapped her hands together and sang, “Looks like it's fundraising time.”
“Again? That's getting old. People are sick of cookies, bake sales, and magazines.” She leaned over the desk and whispered, “And a little tip, ma'am. No one really reads magazines anymore. They just go online.”
Tsunade leaned back in her chair and looked out the window for inspiration, “You're right, Shizune. We need something new idea that's eye-catching, sexy even...,” Then she clapped her hands in triumph, “Or we need something old, as in an old fashion 'Slave-Girl Auction'!”
“Uh, no,” Shizune smile faded when she recognized that excited look on the Hokage's face. It was just like every other time that Tsunade gambled, “You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding!”
“IT'S PERFECT! The willing ladies are put up for auction for only one date night. Sexual favors not required... though I'm sure a few kunoichi I know wouldn't mind the attention. We could even extend invitations to the other villages. Each might have a super-rich tycoon willing to get in on the action as well. That way we have a wider net to pull in more money. Oooh, I can see the ryo rolling into the coffers now! Believe me Shizune, it'll be a sure fire way to raise money while having fun.”
Shizune wasn't so sure, “Fun for who, I might ask. There's a lot to take into account, Tsunade-sama. Where will we hold the event? Who will be the auctioneer? What restaurants will want to participate? Will the dinners be included in the final bid? We don't even know if any of the women will agree to such a tasteless and possibly immoral flesh peddling contest.”
Tsunade sighed at her assistant’s insistent logic, “Fine, if you wanna be PC about it. we'll change the name to Most Eligible Bachelorette Charity and I'll be sure to emphasize the 'Non compulsory' clause on the flyer.”
Tsunade reached into her desk for a pen and blank scroll, “It will only be volunteers and if not enough girls sign up then we can cancel it. But I plan on being first on the list. If this goes as well as I hope, maybe next year we'll do a Slave Boy Auction. Oooh, now there's a thought!” The Hokage looked off into space as her imagination went into overdrive until Shizune snapped her fingers.
“Okay,” broken from her daydream, Tsunade finished the first paper, “Here's a missive to give the encryption department then have them send copies to all the kages.”
Shizune sweat-dropped as her boss joyfully wrote her own name on the Charity List, “Very well, I suppose it won't hurt to ask if any women would be interested.” She held out her hand to have Tsunade slap the scrolls in it. Shizune trudged out the door, grumbling the entire way. Half-way to the encryption department, survival instinct tingled in Shizune's head and the woman unrolled the Charity scroll to find who's name was second on the list.
“TSUNADE-SAMA!!”
...
R 20;Isn't this a bit extreme,” asked Kurenai after she listened to Shizune's account of the meeting, “Is the budget that tight this year?” The two kunoichi and Kurenai's three year old, Hiruzen sitting on her lap, waited at Ichiraku's Ramen Bar as Ayame handed them their bowls of steaming noodles. They bowed their thanks then dug into the delicious food.
“Unfortunately yes,” Shizune stirred her ramen absentmindedly and sighed, “Tsunade-sama might be on to something. It would be a nice distraction from all the stress going on with the rebuilding.”
A voice blasted from behind the cotton flaps behind them, “Hello, ladies. Move over! I'm hungry as a horse!” Anko plopped next to Shizune, reached past Kurenai, grabbed the scroll, “Interesting fundraiser. Most Eligible Bachelorettes, huh? More like unable to get a date bachelorettes.”
“Yes,” growled Shizune as she grabbed the list back, “So should I put you underneath my name?”
Anko stuck her tongue out then shrugged, “Why not. I got nothin' better to do and after all, it is for charity.”
“You just want a free meal and get laid. How about you, Ayame,” Kurenai looked over the bar and pointed to the scroll, “You're a single gal. Would you like to donate a date for the academy and orphanage?”
Ayame waved a dismissive hand and smiled politely, “Oh, I would in a heartbeat, if it wasn't for Iyashi-san. He's been visiting me everyday for the past two weeks. It might hurt his feelings if I go on a date with someone other than him.”
“Iyashi,” muttered Anko then sucked in her noodles in one go, “Are you talking about Iyashi, the medic who helps us in the Chuunin Exams?”
Ayame nodded happily, “That's right. Do you know him?”
“You could say that,” Anko coughed behind one fist, “Player!” And she went back to slurping down her soup.
The cloth flap from the far end lifted up and a man sat himself down on a stool, “Hello, Ayame-chan. How are you doing? You look especially lovely today.”
The waitress glowed and whispered to the others, “That's him.” Then she hurried to the other side of the bar to take his order, “Why thank you, Iyashi-san. What would you like for dinner the evening?”
“I'll have the beef this time,” and the guy gave Ayame a flirty wink. She giggled and went right to work combining his meal. The other women kept to themselves and quietly watched him from the corner of their eyes. When Iyashi finished his dinner, he gave Teuchi and Ayame his thanks then glanced at the bill the cook handed to him and winced ever so slightly.
Ayame quickly snatched the tab from his hand and gushed, “Oh don't worry about the meal this time. It's on me.”
“You are such an angel, Ayame-chan,” Iyashi grinned at the waitress and tickled her chin, making her blush and giggle so much that her father grunted disapprovingly at the guy's chutzpah.
Ayame turned dreamy-eyed as she sighed wistfully, “Iyashi-san, it's going to be such a beautiful night. We should do some stargazing together on above the Hokage Monument.”
Iyashi nodded and quickly reached for a flap, “Absolutely. That is a great idea. Have a good night all!” And the guy ducked out of the stand and hurried down the street, barely leaving a trail of dust.
Teuchi scowled at his daughter, who held her ground defensively and snapped back at him.
“What? It keeps him coming back and he'll ask me out sooner or later,” she tucked the bill into her apron pocket, “You can take it out of my paycheck. So you don't have to worry about the money.”
The old man grunted, “It's not the money I'm worried about.” Then he looked over at the three kunoichi, “Shizune-san?”
“I'm already on it,” said the medic nin and sure enough, the list was already spread out and pen scrawling down Ayame's name.
Shizune held the scroll up and muttered, “So is there anyone else you can think of that needs to have their name on the list?”
Kurenai put her chopsticks down with a sigh, “If we're going with that kind of criteria, one girl's name already comes to mind. Let me add Hyuuga Hinata. Naruto has been avoiding her lately and it's confusing the poor girl.”
Shizune winced as she handed Kurenai the scroll, “Don't you think you should ask her father's permission first?”
“It'll have to be handled delicately,” said Kurenai and gave back the list, “But there's a good chance that we will see eye to eye in regards to Hinata's happiness.”
Anko looked over Shizune's shoulder and scrutinized what was written so far, “Strange, I don't see your name there, Kurenai. This whole thing started because of your request.”
The woman laughed and shook her head, “I'm a widow in her thirties with a kid. No one's going to be interested in me.”
“You never know,” said Shizune while writing Sarutobi Kurenai underneath Hinata's name, “The more names we have, the more money we'll raise for the academy and orphanage. Every little bit helps, even if it's only ten ryo.”
“Gee,” drawled Kurenai as she twirled her chopsticks in the air, “Glad to know I'm worth ten ryo.”
Shizune left the money for her food and got up from her chair, “Alright, then. Not a bad start so far. I'll pass this around the hospital and see if any nurses or medics might be interested. I know Yamanaka Ino will jump at this.”
Kurenai nodded as she got up as well and swung Hiruzen onto her hip, “That's true and whatever Ino does, Sakura always follows to compete with her. So that's another girl right there.”
Shizune rolled her eyes upward, “Er, I don't know if that'll happen this time, but it's worth a shot.”
As the day wore on, the names on the scroll multiplied like mad and Shizune was amazed at the how positive the women were about the charity auction. She walked down the hall toward the nurse's station to pick up the growing list and noticed Ino and Sakura clocking out from their day.
Shizune hurried to catch them before they left, “Ino, Sakura! I need to talk to you.”
Ino crossed her arms and scowled, “If another nurse called in sick, neither of us are covering for her. Sakura and I are outta here!”
“No,” laughed Shizune and reached behind the desk to pull out the scroll, “Nothing like that.” She opened the list up, did a mental count of the new additions, then turned it around for the two kunoichi to see.
“Tsunade-sama is calling it 'The Most Eligible Bachelorette Charity Auction' and we're looking for women willing to donate a date for charity. Would you two be interested?”
Ino looked down the list with glee, “The Most Eligible- bleh! That is quite a mouthful, isn't it. But I'd love to! How could I not volunteer?” She quickly grabbed the pen Shizune held out and scribbled her name at the bottom. Ino handed the pen to Sakura fully expecting her friend to join only to see the girl with a deep, deep frown.
“I don't believe this,” sputtered Sakura, “This is worse than a popularity contest or even a beauty pageant. You're auctioning off women to men-”
“Not necessarily to men only,” interrupted Shizune, “We are open to equal opportunity bidding. He, she, or it may enjoy the company of the woman of their choice as long as they've got the money.”
Sakura stomped her foot, “It's prostitution!”
“It's for charity,” shouted Ino and pushed the pen into Sakura's face, “Just sign the list already!”
Sakura spun on her heel and crossed her arms in firm determination, “NO!”
“SIGN IT! Forget it, I’ll do it for you.” Ino took the pen and positioned it on the scroll.
Sakura gasped, “You wouldn't dare!!”
Ino sneered evilly and started writing the first stroke of Sakura's name, “Oh wouldn't I?”
“Put the pen down!” Sakura jumped at Ino and they both went tumbling onto the hospital floor. The blond tried to kick the other away, but Sakura was stuck to her like glue.
Keeping the pen out of Sakura's reach, Ino croaked as Sakura pulled on the girl's shoulders, “This is... for your own good, S-Sakura.”
Shizune peeled the two girls apart then carefully put the scroll on the desk for safety sake, “Ino, this event is entirely voluntary. If Sakura doesn't want to participate, then she doesn't have to. It's that simple.”
Sakura huffed in triumph and blew her mussed pink hair from her eyes, “Ha! Now I'm going home and I don't want to hear one more stupid thing about this 'Auction'.”
Ino grumbled under her breath as the two walked out the double doors, “Was only trying to help.”
Then she leaned to the side and muttered softly into Sakura's ear, “Auction...”
Sakura paused for sec, “What?”
“Nothing,” said Ino sweetly. Sakura eyed the blond then continued walking.
Ino stepped behind Sakura for a moment and whispered, “Charity.”
Sakura spun around, “You said something, I know it.”
“No I didn't.” Ino stuck her nose in the air and kept walking, “Orphans!”
“Stop it, Ino! You won't guilt me into this.”
Shizune sighed and watched the two nineteen year olds head down the street, their voices fading the further they went.
...
In Amekagure, the very next day...
Ao walked along side his junior, Chojuro, and puffed himself up for the perilous task that lay ahead of him, “Just let me do the talking, Chojuro. Remember, it takes a real man with charisma and intelligence to walk right up to the Mizukage and ask such a dangerous kunoichi to put herself up for sale. Guts and strength! That's the ticket.”
Ao absentmindedly fiddled with the patch over his eye then ventured into the Mizukage's office with a swagger in his step, “Good morning Mizukage-sama, have you heard about the Bachelorette Auction that the Leaf Village is hosting?”
“An auction,” laughed the woman as she threw her head back, tossing her long auburn hair in the air, “What a ridiculous notion. Who would bother with such nonsense?”
The jounin crossed his arms and boldly sat on a corner of Mei's desk, “It would be something to consider, Mizukage-sama. From what I hear, the Hokage, most of her kunoichi, and some of the Sand kunoichi are participating. They expect to bring in a lot of revenue to help their villages.”
Mei waved a uncaring hand in the air, “Well then, good luck to them. I prefer the more sensible method of sending skilled shinobi on profitable missions.”
Catching a glimpse of ample cleavage from Mei's low cut dress, Ao cleared his throat and decided to push his luck even further, “It would be foolish to dismiss such an opportunity, Mei-sama. I'd imagine that you would fetch a grand price for our village.”
The room temperature dropped ten degrees as Mei slowly got up from her seat and leaned close to the jounin, “Ao, speak to me of this sexist meat market again,” hissed the Mizukage from behind a menacing smile, “And I will kill you.”
'Again with the threats!' Ao throat went dry and he wondered if he had enough time to make a run for it when a hesitant voice caught the kunoichi's attention.
“Uh, Mizukage-sama,” Chojuro glanced from the floor to the Mei's face as he gathered the courage to speak, “I know that any amount of money would be far beneath your true worth, but would you consider doing this favor for the children of Kirikagure? You only have to give one date for the evening and it all goes to charity. The money would help our shinobi academy grow and supplement the orphanage fund. Please, for the kids?”
Mei's light green eyes softened at the young nin's plea on behalf of the Mist children and her dark ominous cloud turned warm as summer sunshine. Walking past her desk, she ruffled his tufts of blue hair and looked beyond the black-rimmed glasses that framed the boy's face, “Of course, Chojuro. It would be an honor to help the next generation become as skilled and empathetic as you. Send a hawk back to Konoha with a message that I and any of volunteers will be participating.”
Ao grumbled as he watched Chojuro get another tender pat on the cheek by the beautiful redhead before she dismissed both of them.
Once he set the little runt on an errand, Ao stomped into the break room where other shinobi were relaxing, “Hmph, all the teacher's pet had to do was get cutesy and the most powerful shinobi in the Hidden Mist goes gooey. It's just not fair.”
An inquisitive shinobi popped his head from around the corner, “So it's true? Is the Mizukage joining the auction?”
Ao nodded as he poured himself some coffee, “Thanks to little Chojuro. The squirt managed to talk the woman into it. Oi, oi, where's everyone going?”
“I don't know about you guys, ” One jounin threw his coffee cup away and rushed down the hall, “But I'm gonna fill out a travel request and double check my savings account, maybe cash in some bonds.”
Another stuffed the last of a doughnut into his mouth as he hurried for the door, “Same here.”
The last fellow to run out the door yelled, “I'm gonna beg on hands and knees from my dad.”
Ao scoffed as the room emptied of men, “What fools! Running off to check their finances as if heading to a sale at the candy store. Only a real man know exactly how much money he has at all times down to the decimal point... a man exactly like me.” Thumping his chest with pride, he grinned wide until his sharp teeth glinted in the light. “It'll take a kage's ransom to outbid me!”
Converting /tmp/phpDH10rB to /dev/stdout
Chapter Two
One month earlier...
The shinobi hospital looked shiny and new as did most of Konohakagure three years after being razed to the ground by the Akatsuki. Civilians and ninja wandered in and out of the medical complex with everything returning to business as usual before the attack. The village was still rebuilding with the essentials finished first, but followed by the residential and retail districts. The spirit of fire continued to burn in Konoha and it was agreed that everything was gonna be bigger and better.
Weary from a long morning of medical examination after the next, Sakura and Ino pushed through the doors of the emergency ward and they checked out for lunch about an hour after everyone else.
“Oooh my aching head,” moaned Ino as she rubbed her temples with healing chakra, “I've had one hell of a day and it's only half done.”
“I know what you mean,” grumbled Sakura and opened the break room door for the both of them. The two medic-nin plopped themselves at the table in the break room. In a corner were a couple of other nurses on their lunch break and sitting next to a television playing an old movie musical.
Sakura tilted her head back to get a better look at the screen, “What's that?”
“Don't you recognize it,” said Ino as she picked up her onigiri, “It's Bye Bye Birdie. Certainly one of the oldies but goodies. Sweet beautiful love set to catchy musical numbers.”
Unimpressed, Sakura rolled her eyes while opening her lunch and stuck out her tongue, “Blech! How could you idolize such stupidity. Look at her twirling and skipping like an absolute twit, spouting nonsense about changing men and wearing fancy clothes. A wannabe ballerina with no clue of what life has in store for her. Life's not lovely,” she shouted back at the television, “In fact IT SUCKS! It sucks harder than a twenty ryo whore!”
“Ugh!” gasped the others, “Really! Of all the nerve,” Upset by Sakura's ranting, the two nurses picked up their bento boxes and rushed out of the break room.
Placing hands on hips, Ino clucked her tongue at the other medic, “That was unnecessary, Sakura-chan.”
Sakura shrugged and continued eating, “On the contrary, now we get the break room all to ourselves.”
Then door swung opened and the head medic on duty walked through, “Hello, girls.”
“Hello, Shizune-neesan,” chimed Sakura and Ino.
To Sakura's annoyance, Shizune flipped the television back on and chirped, “Ooh, I haven't seen this in years!”
“Not again,” whined Sakura, “What's so fascinating about a sad, pathetic creature mooning over some stupid unattainable guy. Leave it to the movies to create fantasies then laugh when daydream castles crack at the seams. All the while they're recording the aftermath for a drama series. Ka-ching!”
Shizune chuckled as she poured coffee into a mug and sat next to Ino, “Don't take the movie so seriously, Sakura. This part is about teenage love in it's pure, virginal form.”
With a nasty sneer, Sakura mumbled into her tea, “Virginal is right.”
“I meant in a good way,” chided Shizune, “True love, unadulterated by the hassles and confusion that having a normal relationship brings.”
“If it's obviously not real then why encourage this horrible dribble?”
Shizune studied the pink medic nin with pity in her eyes, “Because it's nice to dream, Sakura. Don't you dream anymore?”
The kunoichi snorted, “Those kind of dreams are for suckers.”
Ino shook her head and whispered to Shizune, “Sakura's going through a phase. There's nothing you can do or say to change her mind. At her last birthday, she lost her inner-romantic and it was replaced with a bra-burning feminist.”
“I don't care what you two are whispering over there, but you won't catch me dancing about my bedroom half-naked, singing, and glowing like a firefly hopped up on hormones.”
“Sure, Sakura,” drawled Ino, “Whatever you say, but when you do fall in love and make a total fool of yourself, I will be there to rub your nose in every last bit of humiliation.”
“Then you'll have to wait a long, long time,” Sakura bit into an almond cookie and settled into her chair like a queen on her throne, “Cause there's no way that will happen. Not in a million years! Never!”
Shaking their heads at her obstinance, Ino and Shizune gave up and walked out of the break room.
….
It was late that afternoon when Shizune poked her head through the office of the Hokage. She checked to see if her boss was hard at work with mission requests and heard the woman swearing at the never ending mountain of paperwork.
Figuring now would be a good time to distract her superior, Shizune knocked and carried some more papers to set on the Hokage's desk, “Tsunade-sama, If you have a moment to spare, I have a special request from Sarutobi Kurenai.”
“Oh no,” groaned Tsunade, “What is it now?” She placed the pen down and rubbed the bridge of her nose in hopes of alleviating her headache.
Shizune pulled out a request form and gave it to Tsunade, “She handed this to me yesterday and asked if I could rush this to you. The Konoha Academy is running low on funds and they need money for new equipment. The carpenters we hired after the attack were quick, but Kurenai noticed water damage from leaks in the window frames and some doors are about to fall of their hinges. Also the orphanage basement flooded, which killed the hot water heaters, and their roof is due for some repairs as well. ”
“Damn! When it rains, it pours. I'm sure there must be some place in the budget that we can squeeze a bit of money from.”
“Only a pittance in compared to the need, Tsunade-sama.”
“Well then!” Tsunade clapped her hands together and sang, “Looks like it's fundraising time.”
“Again? That's getting old. People are sick of cookies, bake sales, and magazines.” She leaned over the desk and whispered, “And a little tip, ma'am. No one really reads magazines anymore. They just go online.”
Tsunade leaned back in her chair and looked out the window for inspiration, “You're right, Shizune. We need something new idea that's eye-catching, sexy even...,” Then she clapped her hands in triumph, “Or we need something old, as in an old fashion 'Slave-Girl Auction'!”
“Uh, no,” Shizune smile faded when she recognized that excited look on the Hokage's face. It was just like every other time that Tsunade gambled, “You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding!”
“IT'S PERFECT! The willing ladies are put up for auction for only one date night. Sexual favors not required... though I'm sure a few kunoichi I know wouldn't mind the attention. We could even extend invitations to the other villages. Each might have a super-rich tycoon willing to get in on the action as well. That way we have a wider net to pull in more money. Oooh, I can see the ryo rolling into the coffers now! Believe me Shizune, it'll be a sure fire way to raise money while having fun.”
Shizune wasn't so sure, “Fun for who, I might ask. There's a lot to take into account, Tsunade-sama. Where will we hold the event? Who will be the auctioneer? What restaurants will want to participate? Will the dinners be included in the final bid? We don't even know if any of the women will agree to such a tasteless and possibly immoral flesh peddling contest.”
Tsunade sighed at her assistant’s insistent logic, “Fine, if you wanna be PC about it. we'll change the name to Most Eligible Bachelorette Charity and I'll be sure to emphasize the 'Non compulsory' clause on the flyer.”
Tsunade reached into her desk for a pen and blank scroll, “It will only be volunteers and if not enough girls sign up then we can cancel it. But I plan on being first on the list. If this goes as well as I hope, maybe next year we'll do a Slave Boy Auction. Oooh, now there's a thought!” The Hokage looked off into space as her imagination went into overdrive until Shizune snapped her fingers.
“Okay,” broken from her daydream, Tsunade finished the first paper, “Here's a missive to give the encryption department then have them send copies to all the kages.”
Shizune sweat-dropped as her boss joyfully wrote her own name on the Charity List, “Very well, I suppose it won't hurt to ask if any women would be interested.” She held out her hand to have Tsunade slap the scrolls in it. Shizune trudged out the door, grumbling the entire way. Half-way to the encryption department, survival instinct tingled in Shizune's head and the woman unrolled the Charity scroll to find who's name was second on the list.
“TSUNADE-SAMA!!”
...
R 20;Isn't this a bit extreme,” asked Kurenai after she listened to Shizune's account of the meeting, “Is the budget that tight this year?” The two kunoichi and Kurenai's three year old, Hiruzen sitting on her lap, waited at Ichiraku's Ramen Bar as Ayame handed them their bowls of steaming noodles. They bowed their thanks then dug into the delicious food.
“Unfortunately yes,” Shizune stirred her ramen absentmindedly and sighed, “Tsunade-sama might be on to something. It would be a nice distraction from all the stress going on with the rebuilding.”
A voice blasted from behind the cotton flaps behind them, “Hello, ladies. Move over! I'm hungry as a horse!” Anko plopped next to Shizune, reached past Kurenai, grabbed the scroll, “Interesting fundraiser. Most Eligible Bachelorettes, huh? More like unable to get a date bachelorettes.”
“Yes,” growled Shizune as she grabbed the list back, “So should I put you underneath my name?”
Anko stuck her tongue out then shrugged, “Why not. I got nothin' better to do and after all, it is for charity.”
“You just want a free meal and get laid. How about you, Ayame,” Kurenai looked over the bar and pointed to the scroll, “You're a single gal. Would you like to donate a date for the academy and orphanage?”
Ayame waved a dismissive hand and smiled politely, “Oh, I would in a heartbeat, if it wasn't for Iyashi-san. He's been visiting me everyday for the past two weeks. It might hurt his feelings if I go on a date with someone other than him.”
“Iyashi,” muttered Anko then sucked in her noodles in one go, “Are you talking about Iyashi, the medic who helps us in the Chuunin Exams?”
Ayame nodded happily, “That's right. Do you know him?”
“You could say that,” Anko coughed behind one fist, “Player!” And she went back to slurping down her soup.
The cloth flap from the far end lifted up and a man sat himself down on a stool, “Hello, Ayame-chan. How are you doing? You look especially lovely today.”
The waitress glowed and whispered to the others, “That's him.” Then she hurried to the other side of the bar to take his order, “Why thank you, Iyashi-san. What would you like for dinner the evening?”
“I'll have the beef this time,” and the guy gave Ayame a flirty wink. She giggled and went right to work combining his meal. The other women kept to themselves and quietly watched him from the corner of their eyes. When Iyashi finished his dinner, he gave Teuchi and Ayame his thanks then glanced at the bill the cook handed to him and winced ever so slightly.
Ayame quickly snatched the tab from his hand and gushed, “Oh don't worry about the meal this time. It's on me.”
“You are such an angel, Ayame-chan,” Iyashi grinned at the waitress and tickled her chin, making her blush and giggle so much that her father grunted disapprovingly at the guy's chutzpah.
Ayame turned dreamy-eyed as she sighed wistfully, “Iyashi-san, it's going to be such a beautiful night. We should do some stargazing together on above the Hokage Monument.”
Iyashi nodded and quickly reached for a flap, “Absolutely. That is a great idea. Have a good night all!” And the guy ducked out of the stand and hurried down the street, barely leaving a trail of dust.
Teuchi scowled at his daughter, who held her ground defensively and snapped back at him.
“What? It keeps him coming back and he'll ask me out sooner or later,” she tucked the bill into her apron pocket, “You can take it out of my paycheck. So you don't have to worry about the money.”
The old man grunted, “It's not the money I'm worried about.” Then he looked over at the three kunoichi, “Shizune-san?”
“I'm already on it,” said the medic nin and sure enough, the list was already spread out and pen scrawling down Ayame's name.
Shizune held the scroll up and muttered, “So is there anyone else you can think of that needs to have their name on the list?”
Kurenai put her chopsticks down with a sigh, “If we're going with that kind of criteria, one girl's name already comes to mind. Let me add Hyuuga Hinata. Naruto has been avoiding her lately and it's confusing the poor girl.”
Shizune winced as she handed Kurenai the scroll, “Don't you think you should ask her father's permission first?”
“It'll have to be handled delicately,” said Kurenai and gave back the list, “But there's a good chance that we will see eye to eye in regards to Hinata's happiness.”
Anko looked over Shizune's shoulder and scrutinized what was written so far, “Strange, I don't see your name there, Kurenai. This whole thing started because of your request.”
The woman laughed and shook her head, “I'm a widow in her thirties with a kid. No one's going to be interested in me.”
“You never know,” said Shizune while writing Sarutobi Kurenai underneath Hinata's name, “The more names we have, the more money we'll raise for the academy and orphanage. Every little bit helps, even if it's only ten ryo.”
“Gee,” drawled Kurenai as she twirled her chopsticks in the air, “Glad to know I'm worth ten ryo.”
Shizune left the money for her food and got up from her chair, “Alright, then. Not a bad start so far. I'll pass this around the hospital and see if any nurses or medics might be interested. I know Yamanaka Ino will jump at this.”
Kurenai nodded as she got up as well and swung Hiruzen onto her hip, “That's true and whatever Ino does, Sakura always follows to compete with her. So that's another girl right there.”
Shizune rolled her eyes upward, “Er, I don't know if that'll happen this time, but it's worth a shot.”
As the day wore on, the names on the scroll multiplied like mad and Shizune was amazed at the how positive the women were about the charity auction. She walked down the hall toward the nurse's station to pick up the growing list and noticed Ino and Sakura clocking out from their day.
Shizune hurried to catch them before they left, “Ino, Sakura! I need to talk to you.”
Ino crossed her arms and scowled, “If another nurse called in sick, neither of us are covering for her. Sakura and I are outta here!”
“No,” laughed Shizune and reached behind the desk to pull out the scroll, “Nothing like that.” She opened the list up, did a mental count of the new additions, then turned it around for the two kunoichi to see.
“Tsunade-sama is calling it 'The Most Eligible Bachelorette Charity Auction' and we're looking for women willing to donate a date for charity. Would you two be interested?”
Ino looked down the list with glee, “The Most Eligible- bleh! That is quite a mouthful, isn't it. But I'd love to! How could I not volunteer?” She quickly grabbed the pen Shizune held out and scribbled her name at the bottom. Ino handed the pen to Sakura fully expecting her friend to join only to see the girl with a deep, deep frown.
“I don't believe this,” sputtered Sakura, “This is worse than a popularity contest or even a beauty pageant. You're auctioning off women to men-”
“Not necessarily to men only,” interrupted Shizune, “We are open to equal opportunity bidding. He, she, or it may enjoy the company of the woman of their choice as long as they've got the money.”
Sakura stomped her foot, “It's prostitution!”
“It's for charity,” shouted Ino and pushed the pen into Sakura's face, “Just sign the list already!”
Sakura spun on her heel and crossed her arms in firm determination, “NO!”
“SIGN IT! Forget it, I’ll do it for you.” Ino took the pen and positioned it on the scroll.
Sakura gasped, “You wouldn't dare!!”
Ino sneered evilly and started writing the first stroke of Sakura's name, “Oh wouldn't I?”
“Put the pen down!” Sakura jumped at Ino and they both went tumbling onto the hospital floor. The blond tried to kick the other away, but Sakura was stuck to her like glue.
Keeping the pen out of Sakura's reach, Ino croaked as Sakura pulled on the girl's shoulders, “This is... for your own good, S-Sakura.”
Shizune peeled the two girls apart then carefully put the scroll on the desk for safety sake, “Ino, this event is entirely voluntary. If Sakura doesn't want to participate, then she doesn't have to. It's that simple.”
Sakura huffed in triumph and blew her mussed pink hair from her eyes, “Ha! Now I'm going home and I don't want to hear one more stupid thing about this 'Auction'.”
Ino grumbled under her breath as the two walked out the double doors, “Was only trying to help.”
Then she leaned to the side and muttered softly into Sakura's ear, “Auction...”
Sakura paused for sec, “What?”
“Nothing,” said Ino sweetly. Sakura eyed the blond then continued walking.
Ino stepped behind Sakura for a moment and whispered, “Charity.”
Sakura spun around, “You said something, I know it.”
“No I didn't.” Ino stuck her nose in the air and kept walking, “Orphans!”
“Stop it, Ino! You won't guilt me into this.”
Shizune sighed and watched the two nineteen year olds head down the street, their voices fading the further they went.
...
In Amekagure, the very next day...
Ao walked along side his junior, Chojuro, and puffed himself up for the perilous task that lay ahead of him, “Just let me do the talking, Chojuro. Remember, it takes a real man with charisma and intelligence to walk right up to the Mizukage and ask such a dangerous kunoichi to put herself up for sale. Guts and strength! That's the ticket.”
Ao absentmindedly fiddled with the patch over his eye then ventured into the Mizukage's office with a swagger in his step, “Good morning Mizukage-sama, have you heard about the Bachelorette Auction that the Leaf Village is hosting?”
“An auction,” laughed the woman as she threw her head back, tossing her long auburn hair in the air, “What a ridiculous notion. Who would bother with such nonsense?”
The jounin crossed his arms and boldly sat on a corner of Mei's desk, “It would be something to consider, Mizukage-sama. From what I hear, the Hokage, most of her kunoichi, and some of the Sand kunoichi are participating. They expect to bring in a lot of revenue to help their villages.”
Mei waved a uncaring hand in the air, “Well then, good luck to them. I prefer the more sensible method of sending skilled shinobi on profitable missions.”
Catching a glimpse of ample cleavage from Mei's low cut dress, Ao cleared his throat and decided to push his luck even further, “It would be foolish to dismiss such an opportunity, Mei-sama. I'd imagine that you would fetch a grand price for our village.”
The room temperature dropped ten degrees as Mei slowly got up from her seat and leaned close to the jounin, “Ao, speak to me of this sexist meat market again,” hissed the Mizukage from behind a menacing smile, “And I will kill you.”
'Again with the threats!' Ao throat went dry and he wondered if he had enough time to make a run for it when a hesitant voice caught the kunoichi's attention.
“Uh, Mizukage-sama,” Chojuro glanced from the floor to the Mei's face as he gathered the courage to speak, “I know that any amount of money would be far beneath your true worth, but would you consider doing this favor for the children of Kirikagure? You only have to give one date for the evening and it all goes to charity. The money would help our shinobi academy grow and supplement the orphanage fund. Please, for the kids?”
Mei's light green eyes softened at the young nin's plea on behalf of the Mist children and her dark ominous cloud turned warm as summer sunshine. Walking past her desk, she ruffled his tufts of blue hair and looked beyond the black-rimmed glasses that framed the boy's face, “Of course, Chojuro. It would be an honor to help the next generation become as skilled and empathetic as you. Send a hawk back to Konoha with a message that I and any of volunteers will be participating.”
Ao grumbled as he watched Chojuro get another tender pat on the cheek by the beautiful redhead before she dismissed both of them.
Once he set the little runt on an errand, Ao stomped into the break room where other shinobi were relaxing, “Hmph, all the teacher's pet had to do was get cutesy and the most powerful shinobi in the Hidden Mist goes gooey. It's just not fair.”
An inquisitive shinobi popped his head from around the corner, “So it's true? Is the Mizukage joining the auction?”
Ao nodded as he poured himself some coffee, “Thanks to little Chojuro. The squirt managed to talk the woman into it. Oi, oi, where's everyone going?”
“I don't know about you guys, ” One jounin threw his coffee cup away and rushed down the hall, “But I'm gonna fill out a travel request and double check my savings account, maybe cash in some bonds.”
Another stuffed the last of a doughnut into his mouth as he hurried for the door, “Same here.”
The last fellow to run out the door yelled, “I'm gonna beg on hands and knees from my dad.”
Ao scoffed as the room emptied of men, “What fools! Running off to check their finances as if heading to a sale at the candy store. Only a real man know exactly how much money he has at all times down to the decimal point... a man exactly like me.” Thumping his chest with pride, he grinned wide until his sharp teeth glinted in the light. “It'll take a kage's ransom to outbid me!”
Converting /tmp/phpDH10rB to /dev/stdout