Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ For The Pleasure of Her Company ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: evefaxton 
Conspiracies abound
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.19.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 696 | Status: Work In Progress
Conspiracies abound
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.19.2011 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.5K | Visits: 696 | Status: Work In Progress
I do not own Naruto nor make any profit from it.
Chapter Four
One day closer to the big auction and Naruto, Sai, Neji, Lee, Shino and Kiba sat in soothing steaming waters in the men's side of Konohakagure Hot Springs. Akamaru was stretched out on his side in the corner of the spa, enjoying a nap in the warm air. The lattice door slid open, revealing Shikamaru and Chouji who stepped onto the deck.
“Hey guys,” said Chouji with a happy grin, “How's it going?”
“Watch out for Akamaru,” warned Kiba as the two guys tiptoed around the gigantic dog that snorted in their direction, then rolled flat on his back to stick all four legs in the air.
Shikamaru peered at the odd sight, “The mutt must have a ton of back fat to keep him stable like that.”
“Oi, watch it,” Kiba yelled in Akamaru's defense, “That's all muscle there.”
“Whatever you say,” Shikamaru smirked as he carefully slipped into the water and from the heat seeping through his skin, “As long as he doesn't roll into the water, we're good.”
As the others made room, Chouji slowly lowered himself into the spa. The water level rose several centimeters and a slight wave rolled toward Lee who was floating in the middle of the pool.
Lee sputtered from the water that filled his nose, forcing him to stand up and see the newcomers, “Oh it is you, Chouji-san. Afternoon to you both.”
Shikamaru dipped a hand towel in the hot spring, squeezed the excess water, then draped it over his face, “Ahhh, much better. It's headache overload out there.”
Chouji nodded, “Ino has been crazy since she signed up for that charity auction.”
“I would have to agree,” Sai peered at Chouji with a furrowed brow, “She finds me everyday and keeps asking me questions about the auction. I don't understand what the fuss is about.” Then Sai looked over at Shikamaru, “What do think of this slave-girl auction?”
“I don't,” Shikamaru mumbled from underneath his towel,
“And better not let anything resembling female hear you say slave-girl,” reminded Chouji, “Unless you enjoy getting your balls twisted into a double knot.”
“Speaking of neutering,” Naruto sneered then pointed at Kiba, “I heard someone tried to face off with Sakura-chan and ended up with a face full of carpet.”
“And not in the good way,” added Shino. That brought out smiles on just about everyone, but Kiba. Even Neji had a hard time not chuckling at the Inuzuka's expense.
Kiba sank a bit in the water and fumed with shame, “I already apologized to her. So leave it, Uzumaki.”
“Just thought you knew better than to step on her toes,” laughed Naruto then covered his mouth, “Oops!”
“You wanna take this outside?”
“Oh I couldn't fight my good buddy Kiba,” Naruto stuck out his lower lip in pity, “Just wouldn't be fair with you being de-fanged and all.”
“Fuck you, man!” The Inuzuka flipped Naruto the bird then swam away to stew in a warmer spot.
Revealing in the space, Naruto stretched out and floated on his back, “This auction has become a huge problem for me. How am I going to choose between the two beautiful women in my life? Sakura or Hinata. Sakura is my teammate. She might be upset if I don't bid on her. But Hinata told me she loves me. I have to make a bid on her too.”
Annoyed that the guy actually had to deliberate, Neji took a cleansing breath and whispered low, “Let's see a pink demon with a mean right hook and ear-piercing screams or a shy heiress with a soft voice and inferiority complex. Which one, which one?”
Naruto was so absorbed in his own thoughts he didn't pick up Neji's hints and kept muttering, “Sakura or Hinata. Sakura or Hinata.” He stopped floating when he realized the perfect solution, “OR Sakura and Hinata!”
Neji's eyes snapped open, 'What?” The rest of the guys in the pool also stopped talking to stare at Uzumaki
Naruto slammed a fist in the other palm, “That's what I'll do. I'll empty my savings account and buy both!” The amazing baka looked around and grinned brightly at the others.
'Am I hallucinating?' Neji gaped with everyone else at the audacity, 'Did he really say that?'
Lee moved closer to his teammate and whispered, “Do not concern yourself, Neji-san. I have plenty of money to buy Sakura-san. As much as I admire Naruto's determination, he does not compare to the fire that burns brightly in my heart for the beautiful cherry blossom.”
Kiba's ears twitched when Lee spoke to Neji. He swam back to and casually asked, “So you plan on buying Sakura, Lee?”
Lee thumped his chest proudly, “Absolutely!”
'That's good,” encouraged Kiba and gave Lee a thumbs up, “How much do you have saved up?”
Excited to boast of his hardwork, Lee gushed openly, “A little over three hundred ryo and I plan on earning more the next few days as Teuchi's delivery boy.”
Shino grabbed Kiba by the ear and dragged him away from Lee, “That's not nice.”
“Nothing wrong with sizing up the competition,” Kiba rubbed his sore ear and growled, “At least now we don't have to worry about Sakura. Aren't you a little bit curious about how much you'll need.”
Shino didn't rise to the bait. He just sat in the water and let the steam fog the lens of his dark glasses.
Kiba took Shino's silence as a bad sign, “You mean you're not going to bid on Hinata?”
“Of course, I'm going to bid on Hinata,” grumbled Shino, “The last thing Naruto needs is to think that he can have his cake and eat it too.”
Kiba smiled and leaned back in the water, “Good. Then we have a plan. We'll bid on Hinata until he reaches his limit then bow out at the last second.”
“But only if he doesn't run out of money trying to beat Lee,” confirmed Shino.
As Sai watched Naruto smile happily at the thought of two cuties hopping to his beck and call, the artist wonder out loud, "It must be very challenging and confusing to juggle two women at once. Who could possibly pull that off?"
Naruto shrugged, "Ask Shika, he's been handling it just fine for almost a year now. Although, what are you gonna do when Temari gets here?"
Shikamaru sucked in on the towel and nearly choked to death. He tore the wet cloth off his face and shouted, "Temari is in the auction?" He jumped out of the pool and ran out the door.
Chouji sighed as he followed suit, "Poor guy forgot his clothes."
...
It was one week from the auction and people were pouring into the Land of Fire for the event. Not far from Konohakagure's borders, a group of Cloud shinobi and citizens walked steadily along the well traveled road. Most of the travelers were women, who were excited to be invited to another hidden village for the first time. In the middle of the group was their Raikage, A, who strode tall and proud like an ominous war tower. He was a man on a mission to prove that Kumo was not only a military might, but a very valuable ally in times of peace.
'And show that dirty old Onoki that no one stands in my way. Mei will be mine!' His eyes flashed with determination.
Dauri scouted ahead while C brought up the rear and both kept a steady look out for any threats. Not that the diversion wouldn't be welcomed. If any stupid thug even entertained a thought about attacking the Raikage and his entourage, the idiot would find himself pounded into paste in no time flat.
The Raikage's right hand man watched the kunoichi march readily along the road as she practically led the troop toward the Land of Fire, “Heh, someone's impatient to get to Konoha!”
Mabui chuckled with Dauri, “I'll say! Kauri-chan, you've got quite a spring in your step today.”
Kauri looked over her shoulder at the others and answered, “Sure why not? I'm curious to see how much Konoha has rebuilt. Last time we were there, it was practically a giant hole in the ground. Not to mention, Samui and I saw a lot of cuties in their ranks and their shinobi kick ass somethin' fierce. Wouldn't it be wonderfully romantic if I meet a rich man there who would sweep me off my feet and declare his undying love for me!”
Omoi pursed his lips to move the toothpick to the other side of his mouth, “There you go again. You daydreaming impossible crap. It didn't happen last time and it won't happen this time. No one's gonna wanna bid on your scary ass. Now as for me, I got real problems.”
“Omoi, just cause you gonna be payin,” groaned Killer Bee, “Don't mean you can afford ta' be picky. Y’all know what I'm sayin'.”
Already lost in his imagination, Omoi patted his shoulder vest and checked the thickness of his wallet, “Ah there it is... but did I bring enough money? If I'm short, they might take a check. But what if all the honeys are so fly that I can't make up my mind? And what if-”
C shook his shaggy blond hair as Omoi began to spaz, “Oh hell here it comes, somebody stop him before his head starts to spin.”
Mabui closed her eyes and groaned, “Too late.”
“What, what,” Omoi's mind went off in a tangent as his eyes darted erratically, “What would happen if the woman I buy is all sweet in the beginning then she start trippin' over stuff like messing with the threads or cutting my hair...”
Darius tapped the Raikage's little brother on the shoulder, “Sorry to ask you, Bee, but he is your student.”
“What if she begs me to marrying her, makes me spend all my dough, and then starts popping out babies like pez candy.” One swipe across the back of Omoi's head from Bee sent the nin rocketing into the mud.
His sensei bent over Omoi and watched him spit a mouthful of dirt, “Boy, with a smart ass mouth like that, you be lucky to buy an ugly old bat.”
With a huge bump on the noggin, Omoi quickly sat up and rubbed his chin in thought, “Weeell, the Hokage ain't that bad and it solves the baby problem.” Killer Bee slapped a hand over his eyes and groaned with the others in embarrassment.
Shaking her head at that stupid teammate of theirs, Kauri turned her attention to the quiet blond to the side, “Samui, are you excited by the auction too?”
The blond kunoichi glanced briefly at her subordinate and replied in a icy indifference, “Raikage told me to go, so I'm going. That's all there is to it.”
“You serious,” asked Kauri as she gaped at the woman, “There's no one you're curious to see again? Not even the famous Copy-cat ninja, Hatake Kakashi?”
Samui shook her head and kept walking straight ahead, “No, not really.”
“What about that hot Shiranui Genma? Last time he was pretty smitten witcha',” Kauri wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Once again, Samui showed not one stirring of emotion, neither revulsion nor anticipation, “If either one spends the money, then it's fine with me. But I have no one particular in mind.”
Kauri frowned at how the other woman was so practical about the whole thing, “Dang, you're treating this like a job, not a visit for international goodwill and charity.”
Samui gave a small sigh at her teammate's enthusiasm, “I haven't been told to go on leave. Have you been told to go on leave? No, it was set as a mission to Konohakagure to drum up funds for our village.”
“Girl please,” Kauri smirked knowingly and smoothed the kerchief wrapped over her deep red hair, “Kumo don't need the money. We need to fix our reps with the other villages. You and me need to show the other villages that Kumo can party! So you better cut loose and live a little. Find yourself a guy and go crazy, ya' know. Even if it's only for one date.”
Samui remained unmotivated, “On a personal level, I don't do one night stands.”
Kauri clucked her tongue and poked Samui in the arm, “I didn't say that. I said to have fun. Doesn't need to be any bumpin' and grinding.”
In hopes of ending the uncomfortable conversation, Samui mumbled, “I'll think about it.”
Kauri snorted, “No you won't.”
The Raikage's secretary listened quietly to the other women as she strolled behind them. While Kauri's positive attitude was refreshing, Mabui had to agree with the blond, 'You're right to play cautiously on this trip, Samui-san. If I'm successful with the auction, this will be the surprise coup of your career and Konoha will be at a loss on how to stop it.' She turned her dark emerald eyes back to the road and ran through the Raikage's plan for Samui.
It started two weeks ago. None of the volunteers for the auction charity were in the right condition for this mission. So the Raikage had to issue an order that sent many single kunoichi to the Kumokagure medical center. Of the few women that fit the bill, only Samui stood out as the best kunoichi for the job. The doctor gave her an experimental injection of hormones and to Samui's credit, she didn't ask any questions. She only politely accepted the paper thin excuse that the Raikage and the head medic gave her.
'Now it's all a matter of finding the right man for her,' Mabui whistled low and crossed her fingers for luck.
...
“Achoo!” Kou rubbed the tip of his nose in embarrassment then returned his attention back to Tsunade, who was staring at him, “Forgive me, Hokage-sama. My allergies must be acting up.”
Tsunade took the report from him and smiled slyly, “Or a cute girl was thinking about you. That's a good sign. Are you planning on being at the charity auction, Kou-san?”
The guy blushed slightly and nodded, “Hai, I'm really looking forward to it. I've even been saving up.”
“So you have someone in mind? Come on, you can tell me,” teased Tsunade as she rested her chin on her hands and fluttered her lashes at the normally formal Hyuuga.
He laughed and looked at the floor shyly, “I heard from my cousin Neji that his teammate had signed up. She's very beautiful and I always admired her skill and tenacity.”
“You have a crush on Tenten,” Tsunade exclaimed, “That's magnificent! I'll be in the back in the dressing rooms with the rest of the girls. Be sure to bring in plenty of money and I'll put in a good word with you.”
He bowed before heading for the door, “Thank you, Hokage-sama. I will Hokage-sama!”
“That was so sweet,” Tsunade gushed to herself, “This is what it feels like to be a matchmaker. I like it!”
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the Hokage's office door and Tsunade didn't even glance up from Kou's report, “Enter.” She did look up when Nara Shikamaru walked inside. The young shadow master looked a bit nervous instead of his usual lackadaisical demeanor.
Tsunade sat the file down and watched one of Konoha's best strategists as he stood rim-rod straight before her,“Is there anything I can help you with, Shikamaru?”
“Have you found a master of ceremonies for the charity auction, Tsunade-sama?”
“Not yet,” sighed Tsunade and waved a hand at the opened letters sitting in one corner of her desk, “We had a couple of professionals in mind, but when they heard it wasn't a paying position, they backed out. If you know anyone interested in volunteering-”
He cleared his throat and stated, “I would like to volunteer as master of ceremonies for the Bachelorette Auction.”
Tsunade rapidly shook her head to clear the cobwebs then asked, “Sorry, for a minute there I thought I heard you volunteer to mc for the Auction.”
“I did.”
She leaned over her desk with both elbows and gasped in disbelief, “You, Nara Shikamaru, are volunteering to work?”
He bowed at the waist then straightened again, “Yes, do I get the job or not?”
Tsunade grinned and fell back in her chair in complete astonishment, “Sure, sure. I'm just surprised to find someone willing to do this for free at the last minute. This is unexpected, but marvelous!”
“I won't do it for free.”
Now Tsunade felt on more familiar ground and smiled, “Go ahead and tell me your condition so that I may consider your application.”
Shikamaru took a deep breath and spat out, “The Master of Ceremonies cannot make any bids on the participants.”
Tsunade shrugged, “Well, I don't know about that. This auction is all rather new. We could bend the rules and make some excep-”
Shikamaru was quick to interrupt the Hokage, “I repeat! The Master of Ceremonies must be excluded from the auction and cannot make any bids whatsoever.”
Tsunade smirked as she realized what was going on and pointed to the guilt-ridden Shikamaru, “I get it now! You heard that Temari would be arriving today... And don't you have that pretty little kunoichi from the Code Department who has been following you around like a love-sick puppy? Shiho-chan, right?”
Shika pealed his clammy hands from his sides and began to kneel, “It'll be annoying, but if you want me on my hands and knees.”
“Don't bother dirtying your pants, Nara. I get enough complaints from your mother as is,” said Tsunade as she waved a dismissing hand, “You are now the official master of ceremonies who is most explicitly not allowed to bid due to potential conflict of interest. Happy now?”
“Hai. Thank you, Tsunade-sama.” Shikamaru positively radiated relief as he sauntered out the door.
Chuckling, the Hokage stood up from her chair and looked out on the view of downtown Konoha, “Their tough as nails Temari vs. our sharp as a pin Shiho. This will be the bitch fight of the ages that I intend not to miss.” She opened the window and was about to jump out when there was another knock at the door.
“Damn,” Tsunade stepped down from the sill and sat back at her seat, “Enter.”
“Hokage-sama, Makino-san and his assistant, Takase, are here as you requested,” Shizune opened the door wide to make room for a old man wearing blue-tinted spectacles and brown pageboy cap, followed by a man that was bogged down with books and binders. Tsunade assumed this was the assistant director Takase.
“Thank you, Shizune... Uh, Shizune,” Tsunade gestured for the two men to have a seat then looked back at her personal assistant, “Could you head downtown and keep an on eye Shikamaru for me? I have a feeling he may need an intervention on his behalf this afternoon.”
“Hai,” The brunette bowed once then closed the door behind her.
“It is an honor to receive a summons by Konohakagure's Godaime,” said Makino with a bright grin, “I never would have expected you of all people needing my services.”
“Your skills as a movie director would be invaluable for this project, Makino-san. The Land of Snow movie was a massive hit and we could use your talent to help this event continue adding money to the orphanage funds. You have already heard about our Bachelorette Auction?”
The old man nodded, “Yes, I have. It sounds like you will be able to raise a lot of money for the orphanages.”
Tsunade gave a forlorn sigh and put on her saddest smile, “We hope so. The generous donations won't mean much if we use most of it on operating expenses. There are some parts that we simply cannot negotiate. That is where I was hoping you and your wonderful crew can come in and help us out. We would like you to film the auction and the subsequent dates. Then we sell the show to the television station with the highest bid.”
Makino lowered his head to gaze over his blue specs, “I am flattered you thought of me for this project, Hokage-sama. But like you said there are some expenses that cannot be negotiated.”
“Naturally, you cannot to this for free. You and your crew will receive fifteen percent of the proceeds and the rest will be shared by all the shinobi villages.”
“That does sound interesting, but...” Makino winced as he looked at his assistant, who was also wondering how to break it to the Hokage.
Tsunade waited for the man to finish, “But what?”
Makino circled his hands excitedly, “The auction would be fascinating indeed with all the emotion, suspense, and chemistry between the couples. It is the subsequent dates that might be problem.”
“I don't see how?”
Takase jumped into the conversation, “Once they realize they'll be filmed and they know who would be their date then the experiences will become scripted and all too predictable. It's only natural. They won't be able to help it. When people know they're being watched, their behavior changes and the attention grabbing drama will disappear.”
Tsunade's shoulder slumped in disappointment, “Are you sure? And if so, what's wrong with that?”
Makino nodded with his assistant's explanation, “You want to sell this, then there needs to be the element of surprise and a proper story behind as many couples as possible. Otherwise, you might as well kiss your money goodbye.”
“Are you suggesting we do more?”
The famous director tried to break it to the Hokage gently, “I'm suggesting that to keep the momentum we would need to follow the couples in their everyday lives. Get interviews. Developing backgrounds and personalities helps the audience identify with their favorite people.”
Tsunade winced and shook her head, “We are shinobi, Makino-san. I doubt very many will agree to such intrusion into their lives. Not to mention, we have whole clans that insist on their privacy even from their own neighbors.”
Makino frowned and rubbed his chin in thought, “Ah, I see. That did not occur to me.”
“There might be another way to drum up more funds,” said the assistant, “You could approach as many businesses and get them to 'Donate' money or services in exchange for screen time.”
“Like a florist can offer corsages or bouquets if they get a shot advertising their shop,” added Makino.
“Or a restaurant could offer free meals for the dates,” continued the assistant, “If they're featured prominently in the show.”
“I'm liking this,” said Tsunade excitedly as she reached for a pen and notepad to write the ideas down, “But I still have reservations about intruding in my shinobi's lives.”
“Are there civilians involved? Those who wouldn't mind a little limelight?” Makino asked hopefully.
She nodded while writing the names of businesses with services the auction could use, “Several.”
“Then we can concentrate more on them,” said Makino with a flourish of one hand, “That should give us plenty of footage to work with!”
Takase leaned toward his boss and whispered, “For real, sir?”
Makino shushed his assistant from the corner of his mouth, “We'll talk about it later.”
Tsunade heard their whispers quite clearly, but she played dumb and continued to jot down ideas on her notepad, “So do we have an agreement for your services?”
“Yes you do, Hokage-sama,” Makino and his assistant stood up to bow, “We will begin filming as soon as we sign the paperwork.”
“Good! I'll have Shizune send you the contract as soon as she done breaking up a cat fight between a Sand and Leaf kunoichi over one of our young men.”
Makino blinked, “Did you say 'Cat fight'?” There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye that Tsunade didn't miss. He sat back down on his chair and smiled, “We're not in a rush today. Do you mind if I wait here while my assistant goes back to the hotel and get our equipment ready?”
“Not at all,” said Tsunade with an equally devious smile, “And if he should catch anything interesting on the street leading to the Main Gate, he has the Hokage's permission to film it.”
“Right!” Takase ran at top speed out the office and down the spiral stairs.
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Chapter Four
One day closer to the big auction and Naruto, Sai, Neji, Lee, Shino and Kiba sat in soothing steaming waters in the men's side of Konohakagure Hot Springs. Akamaru was stretched out on his side in the corner of the spa, enjoying a nap in the warm air. The lattice door slid open, revealing Shikamaru and Chouji who stepped onto the deck.
“Hey guys,” said Chouji with a happy grin, “How's it going?”
“Watch out for Akamaru,” warned Kiba as the two guys tiptoed around the gigantic dog that snorted in their direction, then rolled flat on his back to stick all four legs in the air.
Shikamaru peered at the odd sight, “The mutt must have a ton of back fat to keep him stable like that.”
“Oi, watch it,” Kiba yelled in Akamaru's defense, “That's all muscle there.”
“Whatever you say,” Shikamaru smirked as he carefully slipped into the water and from the heat seeping through his skin, “As long as he doesn't roll into the water, we're good.”
As the others made room, Chouji slowly lowered himself into the spa. The water level rose several centimeters and a slight wave rolled toward Lee who was floating in the middle of the pool.
Lee sputtered from the water that filled his nose, forcing him to stand up and see the newcomers, “Oh it is you, Chouji-san. Afternoon to you both.”
Shikamaru dipped a hand towel in the hot spring, squeezed the excess water, then draped it over his face, “Ahhh, much better. It's headache overload out there.”
Chouji nodded, “Ino has been crazy since she signed up for that charity auction.”
“I would have to agree,” Sai peered at Chouji with a furrowed brow, “She finds me everyday and keeps asking me questions about the auction. I don't understand what the fuss is about.” Then Sai looked over at Shikamaru, “What do think of this slave-girl auction?”
“I don't,” Shikamaru mumbled from underneath his towel,
“And better not let anything resembling female hear you say slave-girl,” reminded Chouji, “Unless you enjoy getting your balls twisted into a double knot.”
“Speaking of neutering,” Naruto sneered then pointed at Kiba, “I heard someone tried to face off with Sakura-chan and ended up with a face full of carpet.”
“And not in the good way,” added Shino. That brought out smiles on just about everyone, but Kiba. Even Neji had a hard time not chuckling at the Inuzuka's expense.
Kiba sank a bit in the water and fumed with shame, “I already apologized to her. So leave it, Uzumaki.”
“Just thought you knew better than to step on her toes,” laughed Naruto then covered his mouth, “Oops!”
“You wanna take this outside?”
“Oh I couldn't fight my good buddy Kiba,” Naruto stuck out his lower lip in pity, “Just wouldn't be fair with you being de-fanged and all.”
“Fuck you, man!” The Inuzuka flipped Naruto the bird then swam away to stew in a warmer spot.
Revealing in the space, Naruto stretched out and floated on his back, “This auction has become a huge problem for me. How am I going to choose between the two beautiful women in my life? Sakura or Hinata. Sakura is my teammate. She might be upset if I don't bid on her. But Hinata told me she loves me. I have to make a bid on her too.”
Annoyed that the guy actually had to deliberate, Neji took a cleansing breath and whispered low, “Let's see a pink demon with a mean right hook and ear-piercing screams or a shy heiress with a soft voice and inferiority complex. Which one, which one?”
Naruto was so absorbed in his own thoughts he didn't pick up Neji's hints and kept muttering, “Sakura or Hinata. Sakura or Hinata.” He stopped floating when he realized the perfect solution, “OR Sakura and Hinata!”
Neji's eyes snapped open, 'What?” The rest of the guys in the pool also stopped talking to stare at Uzumaki
Naruto slammed a fist in the other palm, “That's what I'll do. I'll empty my savings account and buy both!” The amazing baka looked around and grinned brightly at the others.
'Am I hallucinating?' Neji gaped with everyone else at the audacity, 'Did he really say that?'
Lee moved closer to his teammate and whispered, “Do not concern yourself, Neji-san. I have plenty of money to buy Sakura-san. As much as I admire Naruto's determination, he does not compare to the fire that burns brightly in my heart for the beautiful cherry blossom.”
Kiba's ears twitched when Lee spoke to Neji. He swam back to and casually asked, “So you plan on buying Sakura, Lee?”
Lee thumped his chest proudly, “Absolutely!”
'That's good,” encouraged Kiba and gave Lee a thumbs up, “How much do you have saved up?”
Excited to boast of his hardwork, Lee gushed openly, “A little over three hundred ryo and I plan on earning more the next few days as Teuchi's delivery boy.”
Shino grabbed Kiba by the ear and dragged him away from Lee, “That's not nice.”
“Nothing wrong with sizing up the competition,” Kiba rubbed his sore ear and growled, “At least now we don't have to worry about Sakura. Aren't you a little bit curious about how much you'll need.”
Shino didn't rise to the bait. He just sat in the water and let the steam fog the lens of his dark glasses.
Kiba took Shino's silence as a bad sign, “You mean you're not going to bid on Hinata?”
“Of course, I'm going to bid on Hinata,” grumbled Shino, “The last thing Naruto needs is to think that he can have his cake and eat it too.”
Kiba smiled and leaned back in the water, “Good. Then we have a plan. We'll bid on Hinata until he reaches his limit then bow out at the last second.”
“But only if he doesn't run out of money trying to beat Lee,” confirmed Shino.
As Sai watched Naruto smile happily at the thought of two cuties hopping to his beck and call, the artist wonder out loud, "It must be very challenging and confusing to juggle two women at once. Who could possibly pull that off?"
Naruto shrugged, "Ask Shika, he's been handling it just fine for almost a year now. Although, what are you gonna do when Temari gets here?"
Shikamaru sucked in on the towel and nearly choked to death. He tore the wet cloth off his face and shouted, "Temari is in the auction?" He jumped out of the pool and ran out the door.
Chouji sighed as he followed suit, "Poor guy forgot his clothes."
...
It was one week from the auction and people were pouring into the Land of Fire for the event. Not far from Konohakagure's borders, a group of Cloud shinobi and citizens walked steadily along the well traveled road. Most of the travelers were women, who were excited to be invited to another hidden village for the first time. In the middle of the group was their Raikage, A, who strode tall and proud like an ominous war tower. He was a man on a mission to prove that Kumo was not only a military might, but a very valuable ally in times of peace.
'And show that dirty old Onoki that no one stands in my way. Mei will be mine!' His eyes flashed with determination.
Dauri scouted ahead while C brought up the rear and both kept a steady look out for any threats. Not that the diversion wouldn't be welcomed. If any stupid thug even entertained a thought about attacking the Raikage and his entourage, the idiot would find himself pounded into paste in no time flat.
The Raikage's right hand man watched the kunoichi march readily along the road as she practically led the troop toward the Land of Fire, “Heh, someone's impatient to get to Konoha!”
Mabui chuckled with Dauri, “I'll say! Kauri-chan, you've got quite a spring in your step today.”
Kauri looked over her shoulder at the others and answered, “Sure why not? I'm curious to see how much Konoha has rebuilt. Last time we were there, it was practically a giant hole in the ground. Not to mention, Samui and I saw a lot of cuties in their ranks and their shinobi kick ass somethin' fierce. Wouldn't it be wonderfully romantic if I meet a rich man there who would sweep me off my feet and declare his undying love for me!”
Omoi pursed his lips to move the toothpick to the other side of his mouth, “There you go again. You daydreaming impossible crap. It didn't happen last time and it won't happen this time. No one's gonna wanna bid on your scary ass. Now as for me, I got real problems.”
“Omoi, just cause you gonna be payin,” groaned Killer Bee, “Don't mean you can afford ta' be picky. Y’all know what I'm sayin'.”
Already lost in his imagination, Omoi patted his shoulder vest and checked the thickness of his wallet, “Ah there it is... but did I bring enough money? If I'm short, they might take a check. But what if all the honeys are so fly that I can't make up my mind? And what if-”
C shook his shaggy blond hair as Omoi began to spaz, “Oh hell here it comes, somebody stop him before his head starts to spin.”
Mabui closed her eyes and groaned, “Too late.”
“What, what,” Omoi's mind went off in a tangent as his eyes darted erratically, “What would happen if the woman I buy is all sweet in the beginning then she start trippin' over stuff like messing with the threads or cutting my hair...”
Darius tapped the Raikage's little brother on the shoulder, “Sorry to ask you, Bee, but he is your student.”
“What if she begs me to marrying her, makes me spend all my dough, and then starts popping out babies like pez candy.” One swipe across the back of Omoi's head from Bee sent the nin rocketing into the mud.
His sensei bent over Omoi and watched him spit a mouthful of dirt, “Boy, with a smart ass mouth like that, you be lucky to buy an ugly old bat.”
With a huge bump on the noggin, Omoi quickly sat up and rubbed his chin in thought, “Weeell, the Hokage ain't that bad and it solves the baby problem.” Killer Bee slapped a hand over his eyes and groaned with the others in embarrassment.
Shaking her head at that stupid teammate of theirs, Kauri turned her attention to the quiet blond to the side, “Samui, are you excited by the auction too?”
The blond kunoichi glanced briefly at her subordinate and replied in a icy indifference, “Raikage told me to go, so I'm going. That's all there is to it.”
“You serious,” asked Kauri as she gaped at the woman, “There's no one you're curious to see again? Not even the famous Copy-cat ninja, Hatake Kakashi?”
Samui shook her head and kept walking straight ahead, “No, not really.”
“What about that hot Shiranui Genma? Last time he was pretty smitten witcha',” Kauri wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Once again, Samui showed not one stirring of emotion, neither revulsion nor anticipation, “If either one spends the money, then it's fine with me. But I have no one particular in mind.”
Kauri frowned at how the other woman was so practical about the whole thing, “Dang, you're treating this like a job, not a visit for international goodwill and charity.”
Samui gave a small sigh at her teammate's enthusiasm, “I haven't been told to go on leave. Have you been told to go on leave? No, it was set as a mission to Konohakagure to drum up funds for our village.”
“Girl please,” Kauri smirked knowingly and smoothed the kerchief wrapped over her deep red hair, “Kumo don't need the money. We need to fix our reps with the other villages. You and me need to show the other villages that Kumo can party! So you better cut loose and live a little. Find yourself a guy and go crazy, ya' know. Even if it's only for one date.”
Samui remained unmotivated, “On a personal level, I don't do one night stands.”
Kauri clucked her tongue and poked Samui in the arm, “I didn't say that. I said to have fun. Doesn't need to be any bumpin' and grinding.”
In hopes of ending the uncomfortable conversation, Samui mumbled, “I'll think about it.”
Kauri snorted, “No you won't.”
The Raikage's secretary listened quietly to the other women as she strolled behind them. While Kauri's positive attitude was refreshing, Mabui had to agree with the blond, 'You're right to play cautiously on this trip, Samui-san. If I'm successful with the auction, this will be the surprise coup of your career and Konoha will be at a loss on how to stop it.' She turned her dark emerald eyes back to the road and ran through the Raikage's plan for Samui.
It started two weeks ago. None of the volunteers for the auction charity were in the right condition for this mission. So the Raikage had to issue an order that sent many single kunoichi to the Kumokagure medical center. Of the few women that fit the bill, only Samui stood out as the best kunoichi for the job. The doctor gave her an experimental injection of hormones and to Samui's credit, she didn't ask any questions. She only politely accepted the paper thin excuse that the Raikage and the head medic gave her.
'Now it's all a matter of finding the right man for her,' Mabui whistled low and crossed her fingers for luck.
...
“Achoo!” Kou rubbed the tip of his nose in embarrassment then returned his attention back to Tsunade, who was staring at him, “Forgive me, Hokage-sama. My allergies must be acting up.”
Tsunade took the report from him and smiled slyly, “Or a cute girl was thinking about you. That's a good sign. Are you planning on being at the charity auction, Kou-san?”
The guy blushed slightly and nodded, “Hai, I'm really looking forward to it. I've even been saving up.”
“So you have someone in mind? Come on, you can tell me,” teased Tsunade as she rested her chin on her hands and fluttered her lashes at the normally formal Hyuuga.
He laughed and looked at the floor shyly, “I heard from my cousin Neji that his teammate had signed up. She's very beautiful and I always admired her skill and tenacity.”
“You have a crush on Tenten,” Tsunade exclaimed, “That's magnificent! I'll be in the back in the dressing rooms with the rest of the girls. Be sure to bring in plenty of money and I'll put in a good word with you.”
He bowed before heading for the door, “Thank you, Hokage-sama. I will Hokage-sama!”
“That was so sweet,” Tsunade gushed to herself, “This is what it feels like to be a matchmaker. I like it!”
A few minutes later, there was a knock at the Hokage's office door and Tsunade didn't even glance up from Kou's report, “Enter.” She did look up when Nara Shikamaru walked inside. The young shadow master looked a bit nervous instead of his usual lackadaisical demeanor.
Tsunade sat the file down and watched one of Konoha's best strategists as he stood rim-rod straight before her,“Is there anything I can help you with, Shikamaru?”
“Have you found a master of ceremonies for the charity auction, Tsunade-sama?”
“Not yet,” sighed Tsunade and waved a hand at the opened letters sitting in one corner of her desk, “We had a couple of professionals in mind, but when they heard it wasn't a paying position, they backed out. If you know anyone interested in volunteering-”
He cleared his throat and stated, “I would like to volunteer as master of ceremonies for the Bachelorette Auction.”
Tsunade rapidly shook her head to clear the cobwebs then asked, “Sorry, for a minute there I thought I heard you volunteer to mc for the Auction.”
“I did.”
She leaned over her desk with both elbows and gasped in disbelief, “You, Nara Shikamaru, are volunteering to work?”
He bowed at the waist then straightened again, “Yes, do I get the job or not?”
Tsunade grinned and fell back in her chair in complete astonishment, “Sure, sure. I'm just surprised to find someone willing to do this for free at the last minute. This is unexpected, but marvelous!”
“I won't do it for free.”
Now Tsunade felt on more familiar ground and smiled, “Go ahead and tell me your condition so that I may consider your application.”
Shikamaru took a deep breath and spat out, “The Master of Ceremonies cannot make any bids on the participants.”
Tsunade shrugged, “Well, I don't know about that. This auction is all rather new. We could bend the rules and make some excep-”
Shikamaru was quick to interrupt the Hokage, “I repeat! The Master of Ceremonies must be excluded from the auction and cannot make any bids whatsoever.”
Tsunade smirked as she realized what was going on and pointed to the guilt-ridden Shikamaru, “I get it now! You heard that Temari would be arriving today... And don't you have that pretty little kunoichi from the Code Department who has been following you around like a love-sick puppy? Shiho-chan, right?”
Shika pealed his clammy hands from his sides and began to kneel, “It'll be annoying, but if you want me on my hands and knees.”
“Don't bother dirtying your pants, Nara. I get enough complaints from your mother as is,” said Tsunade as she waved a dismissing hand, “You are now the official master of ceremonies who is most explicitly not allowed to bid due to potential conflict of interest. Happy now?”
“Hai. Thank you, Tsunade-sama.” Shikamaru positively radiated relief as he sauntered out the door.
Chuckling, the Hokage stood up from her chair and looked out on the view of downtown Konoha, “Their tough as nails Temari vs. our sharp as a pin Shiho. This will be the bitch fight of the ages that I intend not to miss.” She opened the window and was about to jump out when there was another knock at the door.
“Damn,” Tsunade stepped down from the sill and sat back at her seat, “Enter.”
“Hokage-sama, Makino-san and his assistant, Takase, are here as you requested,” Shizune opened the door wide to make room for a old man wearing blue-tinted spectacles and brown pageboy cap, followed by a man that was bogged down with books and binders. Tsunade assumed this was the assistant director Takase.
“Thank you, Shizune... Uh, Shizune,” Tsunade gestured for the two men to have a seat then looked back at her personal assistant, “Could you head downtown and keep an on eye Shikamaru for me? I have a feeling he may need an intervention on his behalf this afternoon.”
“Hai,” The brunette bowed once then closed the door behind her.
“It is an honor to receive a summons by Konohakagure's Godaime,” said Makino with a bright grin, “I never would have expected you of all people needing my services.”
“Your skills as a movie director would be invaluable for this project, Makino-san. The Land of Snow movie was a massive hit and we could use your talent to help this event continue adding money to the orphanage funds. You have already heard about our Bachelorette Auction?”
The old man nodded, “Yes, I have. It sounds like you will be able to raise a lot of money for the orphanages.”
Tsunade gave a forlorn sigh and put on her saddest smile, “We hope so. The generous donations won't mean much if we use most of it on operating expenses. There are some parts that we simply cannot negotiate. That is where I was hoping you and your wonderful crew can come in and help us out. We would like you to film the auction and the subsequent dates. Then we sell the show to the television station with the highest bid.”
Makino lowered his head to gaze over his blue specs, “I am flattered you thought of me for this project, Hokage-sama. But like you said there are some expenses that cannot be negotiated.”
“Naturally, you cannot to this for free. You and your crew will receive fifteen percent of the proceeds and the rest will be shared by all the shinobi villages.”
“That does sound interesting, but...” Makino winced as he looked at his assistant, who was also wondering how to break it to the Hokage.
Tsunade waited for the man to finish, “But what?”
Makino circled his hands excitedly, “The auction would be fascinating indeed with all the emotion, suspense, and chemistry between the couples. It is the subsequent dates that might be problem.”
“I don't see how?”
Takase jumped into the conversation, “Once they realize they'll be filmed and they know who would be their date then the experiences will become scripted and all too predictable. It's only natural. They won't be able to help it. When people know they're being watched, their behavior changes and the attention grabbing drama will disappear.”
Tsunade's shoulder slumped in disappointment, “Are you sure? And if so, what's wrong with that?”
Makino nodded with his assistant's explanation, “You want to sell this, then there needs to be the element of surprise and a proper story behind as many couples as possible. Otherwise, you might as well kiss your money goodbye.”
“Are you suggesting we do more?”
The famous director tried to break it to the Hokage gently, “I'm suggesting that to keep the momentum we would need to follow the couples in their everyday lives. Get interviews. Developing backgrounds and personalities helps the audience identify with their favorite people.”
Tsunade winced and shook her head, “We are shinobi, Makino-san. I doubt very many will agree to such intrusion into their lives. Not to mention, we have whole clans that insist on their privacy even from their own neighbors.”
Makino frowned and rubbed his chin in thought, “Ah, I see. That did not occur to me.”
“There might be another way to drum up more funds,” said the assistant, “You could approach as many businesses and get them to 'Donate' money or services in exchange for screen time.”
“Like a florist can offer corsages or bouquets if they get a shot advertising their shop,” added Makino.
“Or a restaurant could offer free meals for the dates,” continued the assistant, “If they're featured prominently in the show.”
“I'm liking this,” said Tsunade excitedly as she reached for a pen and notepad to write the ideas down, “But I still have reservations about intruding in my shinobi's lives.”
“Are there civilians involved? Those who wouldn't mind a little limelight?” Makino asked hopefully.
She nodded while writing the names of businesses with services the auction could use, “Several.”
“Then we can concentrate more on them,” said Makino with a flourish of one hand, “That should give us plenty of footage to work with!”
Takase leaned toward his boss and whispered, “For real, sir?”
Makino shushed his assistant from the corner of his mouth, “We'll talk about it later.”
Tsunade heard their whispers quite clearly, but she played dumb and continued to jot down ideas on her notepad, “So do we have an agreement for your services?”
“Yes you do, Hokage-sama,” Makino and his assistant stood up to bow, “We will begin filming as soon as we sign the paperwork.”
“Good! I'll have Shizune send you the contract as soon as she done breaking up a cat fight between a Sand and Leaf kunoichi over one of our young men.”
Makino blinked, “Did you say 'Cat fight'?” There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye that Tsunade didn't miss. He sat back down on his chair and smiled, “We're not in a rush today. Do you mind if I wait here while my assistant goes back to the hotel and get our equipment ready?”
“Not at all,” said Tsunade with an equally devious smile, “And if he should catch anything interesting on the street leading to the Main Gate, he has the Hokage's permission to film it.”
“Right!” Takase ran at top speed out the office and down the spiral stairs.
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