Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Forget Me Not ❯ Repression ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: tsukiraven 
When Iruka decides to ask Kakashi out, all things go downhill as the Copy Nin finds ugly childhood memories resurfacing.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.03.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
When Iruka decides to ask Kakashi out, all things go downhill as the Copy Nin finds ugly childhood memories resurfacing.
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.03.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.9K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
tsukiraven: Teachers say this, teachers say that. --throws up papers-- I'm sick of studying for examies! --turns to readers-- Oh, hello their, gentle viewers. You caught me catching up on an old favourite. It's an interesting tale, one I like to call 'Buffy, Slayer of the Vampires--'
Naruto: Shut up Tsuki-san! There are so many things wrong with that opening!!
Iruka: Yes, they're not you viewers, they're your readers. Get that right.
Kakashi: Mm.. And you don't study for your exams anyway.
Sakura: And this isn't Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. You're not Andrew! You're a sorry excuse for a human being who's huddled in between the computer and the open window, praying for a stray breeze to hit your house and save you from the heat!
tsukiraven: You're all so incredibly hurtful!
Anywho, this new little insanity here is a response to a challenge done by Icy Sapphire15. Thanks so much for including me in your list of good authors! --bows-- I am deeply honoured!
Sasuke: She doesn't own it. Thank God. Seriously... I haven't been so thankful since Orochimaru decided to stop hitting on me and go for Kabuto a little more... --shivers--
Warnings: Yaoi, guys! Rated M for a reason. Themes of rape, sex and self-mutilation. Ripe with good MM lovin'! Specifically, KakaIru and/or IruKaka. Other couples are still in debate. Will definitely have MizuKaka, MizuIru, and your friendly neighborhood authoress may very well make an appearance, if I can fit her in. Enjoi!
Ages:
Kakashi: 27
Iruka: 26
Naruto: 13
Sasuke: 14
Sakura: 13
Mizuki: 29
It's strange how such thoughts can occur to people in moments of trauma, ridiculous thoughts that make no sense at all. Perhaps it is something that happens in the brain to protect your sanity, a sort of diversion to diffuse the horror of a situation until you regain the strength to handle it.
-Stranger with my Face, By Lois Duncan
1st person POV:
It was a while before I remembered where exactly I was. A house. A bed, lying bruised and bloody and naked. And do you have any idea what my first thought was?
I'm going to stain the sheets.
They were simple white cotton and would be indefinitely stained by the blood seeping from my body. I don't know why it was such a big deal to me at the time, but the fact that the bedding would be completely destroyed seemed to break down every emotional wall that I had built up. I began to cry.
For the first time in my life, I began to cry.
I sobbed with reckless abandon, wiping furiously at my mis-matched eyes with bruised and torn hands.
"The nail that sticks up always get hammered back down, Kakashi."
Now I understood what my sensei had meant. I was an oddity. I was a freak. I was desired. And I had never been so scared in my life.
It was now more than any previous time that I wished for Obito's lost company. His soft eyes and soothing voice would have been all that I needed to get right back up and show anyone how strong I really was. But with Obito's body, crushed to a barley recognizable form, buried within the stone confines of the Uchiha cemetery, that wish wasn't likely to be granted.
Granted by whom? God? If there was truly a God, than he wouldn't've let a little boy the age of 13 be--
Footsteps?
Oh, Lord... They're coming back....
They want more.
---
3rd person POV:
"Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka yelled, making his way to the imfamous sensei through the thick crown of mixed nins. "Kakashi-sensei, please wait up!" The jounin acted as if he hadn't heard, and continued walking. Smutty book in hand.
A vein visibly throbbed in Iruka's right temple. He growled low to himself and increased his pace yet again. 'Just because he's a jounin doesn't give him right to act this way to me!' It was when Iruka turned the corner that he realized the man he had been tracking had vanished.
"Wha--? Da... Where the hell did that insufferable man get off to?"
"Iruka-sensei?" The tan chuunin blinked as he jumped, kunai already out from a vest pocket. "Do you make a habit of talking to yourself like this?"
Iruka flushed angrily, stuffing the kunai back into the vest. On the wrong side. Upside down. "I wasn't talking to myself!"
The man Iruka was speaking with smirked. He was leaning against the wall in a very self satisfied manner, orange book dangling limply from one hand. A head of silver hair swayed in the slight breeze, not quite covering the dazzling blue eye below it. Said eye currently sparkled with amusement. Three fourths of the man's face was covered in a black mask. He wore the traditional jounin's vest and uniform.
Iruka's stomach flopped.
"Then," The man, Kakashi, drawled. "Who were you talking to, sensei?"
"Y-you." Iruka stuttered. 'Why is it so hard to talk to this man?' "I had- have... I have a question to ask you."
Kakashi's eye grinned. "Then, by all means, ask away. Sensei."
"I was... I was wondering if you and the team would like to meet me at Ichiraku's tonight... to celebrate the last mission, I mean. I'll pick up the tab." Iruka's voice was nervous. "Whaddya say?"
-
Kakashi inexplicably felt himself get rather hot around the collar. Did Iruka know what he was asking? To Kakashi, it sounded an awful lot like a date. He shifted from one foot to the other, waiting. Perhaps for an answer to fall out of the sky.
"Tonight's pretty sudden, Iruka-sensei--"
"Okay." Iruka all but shouted, giving Kakashi an all too fake smile. "I should've know. Jounin like you have to have the work load full! Missions and all that. Well, I mean, I should know, I assign most of them..."
It was painfully clear to both parties that the chuunin-sensei was rambling.
"Another time, maybe," Kakashi said painfully.
Iruka, all cheerful exuberance fading, nodded sadly and made to turn around. Not before another nin dropped in on the two, however.
When the figure straightened up, it was a sight to behold. Tall and slender. Lavender, so light that it was almost pure white, not quite shoulder length hair. Steel blue calculating eyes. And a white smile to top it all off.
Kakashi remembered that smile.
It haunted him in his sleep. A hunter's smile...
Like their smiles.
And the Copy nin felt his stomach fall.
Mizuki raised his hand in greeting briefly to Kakashi, grinning at the man like the way a shark would at a defenseless lamb. He ambled over to his colleague and slung an arm around his shoulders, still grinning his predatory grin.
"Hey guys," he said coolly. "What's up?"
"Nothing," Iruka stated calmly. Mizuki was one of his closest friends after all. "Just asking Kakashi if he wanted to go for some ramen is all."
Mizuki arched a fine brow. "Really?" He turned to Kakashi. "You going?"
Kakashi shook his head, his grip rigid on his book. Neither of the other men noticed.
"Crying shame," Mizuki sighed. Then brightened. "Mind if I join, Iruka?"
Iruka positively beamed. "Why not?" They both turned. "Bye Kakashi-sensei!"
"Yeah..." Mizuki grinned wolfishly once again. "See ya around, Kakashi."
---
Kakashi Hatake stumbled into his home some time later. He was greeted by the darkness of the pitch black dwelling as he felt his way into the kitchen.
He wrenched his mask off, and without that this slip of cloth he felt as if he could finally breathe. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, almost frantically. He remembered his sensei's deep, soothing voice talking to him one day.
"Rub your nose so fast like that Kakashi, and you'll rub it clear off!"
"I can't help it sensei," Kakashi muttered, re-adjusting his mask. "It's a habit."
He sat at the wooden table towards the edge of the frighteningly clean kitchen, his head laying in his arms. He gasped raggedly, memories of the day swimming hazily in his mind. Along with others. Memories that he had tried so hard to forget. So hard to repress.
Shark-like smiles.
A boy screaming for them to stop, just stop.
Burning, firey pain as something was pushed into him.
Sobbing.
A hand roughly beating the boy's tears away.
Men laughing.
Fire.
White hair. Blue eyes.
Hands.... Hands everywhere...
Grabbing.
Touching
Choking
NonononoNO!
Please... St-stop...
"Why me?"
Kakashi punched his left hand directly through the table, splintering the wood and driving the shards into his hand. He seethed in pain, pulling his hand out of the hole and tearing away the glove.
His hand was torn all over, tiny pieces of wood still sticking out at awkward angles. He groaned.
But then again... yes. This was it. He remembered now. This was a way to deal with the pain. The memories.
How he had to get rid of them. How he could get rid of them all.
He didn't even register the flash of silver or the bite of the blade as it cut a clean line across his forearm. The warm blood trickled down to his fingers, almost artistic in the way that it fell to the floor with almost no sound.
It worked.
For a moment, Kakashi couldn't feel the pain.
For a moment, he was safe as the memories faded in the bloody kunai's wake.
---
tsukiraven: I am proud and yet horrified by what I put my Kakashi through...
Iruka: --fumes-- Your Kakashi?
tsukiraven: Eep!
Iruka: My Kashi, Mine! You can not have! No touchies!
tsukiraven: Someone save me from the possessive boyfriend no jutsu!
Reviews are loved and cherished. Tell me what you think! This is all for you, Icy Sapphire15! Please, enjoi it! I'll get back to I'll Cover You real quick, I'm almost done with the next chappie!
Important A/N: Tsukiraven does not condone the rape and/or sexual molestation of minors, nor does she condone cutting or self-mutilation of any kind. She is sorry if her story offends you.
Peace Out!
Naruto: Shut up Tsuki-san! There are so many things wrong with that opening!!
Iruka: Yes, they're not you viewers, they're your readers. Get that right.
Kakashi: Mm.. And you don't study for your exams anyway.
Sakura: And this isn't Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. You're not Andrew! You're a sorry excuse for a human being who's huddled in between the computer and the open window, praying for a stray breeze to hit your house and save you from the heat!
tsukiraven: You're all so incredibly hurtful!
Anywho, this new little insanity here is a response to a challenge done by Icy Sapphire15. Thanks so much for including me in your list of good authors! --bows-- I am deeply honoured!
Sasuke: She doesn't own it. Thank God. Seriously... I haven't been so thankful since Orochimaru decided to stop hitting on me and go for Kabuto a little more... --shivers--
Warnings: Yaoi, guys! Rated M for a reason. Themes of rape, sex and self-mutilation. Ripe with good MM lovin'! Specifically, KakaIru and/or IruKaka. Other couples are still in debate. Will definitely have MizuKaka, MizuIru, and your friendly neighborhood authoress may very well make an appearance, if I can fit her in. Enjoi!
Ages:
Kakashi: 27
Iruka: 26
Naruto: 13
Sasuke: 14
Sakura: 13
Mizuki: 29
It's strange how such thoughts can occur to people in moments of trauma, ridiculous thoughts that make no sense at all. Perhaps it is something that happens in the brain to protect your sanity, a sort of diversion to diffuse the horror of a situation until you regain the strength to handle it.
-Stranger with my Face, By Lois Duncan
1st person POV:
It was a while before I remembered where exactly I was. A house. A bed, lying bruised and bloody and naked. And do you have any idea what my first thought was?
I'm going to stain the sheets.
They were simple white cotton and would be indefinitely stained by the blood seeping from my body. I don't know why it was such a big deal to me at the time, but the fact that the bedding would be completely destroyed seemed to break down every emotional wall that I had built up. I began to cry.
For the first time in my life, I began to cry.
I sobbed with reckless abandon, wiping furiously at my mis-matched eyes with bruised and torn hands.
"The nail that sticks up always get hammered back down, Kakashi."
Now I understood what my sensei had meant. I was an oddity. I was a freak. I was desired. And I had never been so scared in my life.
It was now more than any previous time that I wished for Obito's lost company. His soft eyes and soothing voice would have been all that I needed to get right back up and show anyone how strong I really was. But with Obito's body, crushed to a barley recognizable form, buried within the stone confines of the Uchiha cemetery, that wish wasn't likely to be granted.
Granted by whom? God? If there was truly a God, than he wouldn't've let a little boy the age of 13 be--
Footsteps?
Oh, Lord... They're coming back....
They want more.
---
3rd person POV:
"Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka yelled, making his way to the imfamous sensei through the thick crown of mixed nins. "Kakashi-sensei, please wait up!" The jounin acted as if he hadn't heard, and continued walking. Smutty book in hand.
A vein visibly throbbed in Iruka's right temple. He growled low to himself and increased his pace yet again. 'Just because he's a jounin doesn't give him right to act this way to me!' It was when Iruka turned the corner that he realized the man he had been tracking had vanished.
"Wha--? Da... Where the hell did that insufferable man get off to?"
"Iruka-sensei?" The tan chuunin blinked as he jumped, kunai already out from a vest pocket. "Do you make a habit of talking to yourself like this?"
Iruka flushed angrily, stuffing the kunai back into the vest. On the wrong side. Upside down. "I wasn't talking to myself!"
The man Iruka was speaking with smirked. He was leaning against the wall in a very self satisfied manner, orange book dangling limply from one hand. A head of silver hair swayed in the slight breeze, not quite covering the dazzling blue eye below it. Said eye currently sparkled with amusement. Three fourths of the man's face was covered in a black mask. He wore the traditional jounin's vest and uniform.
Iruka's stomach flopped.
"Then," The man, Kakashi, drawled. "Who were you talking to, sensei?"
"Y-you." Iruka stuttered. 'Why is it so hard to talk to this man?' "I had- have... I have a question to ask you."
Kakashi's eye grinned. "Then, by all means, ask away. Sensei."
"I was... I was wondering if you and the team would like to meet me at Ichiraku's tonight... to celebrate the last mission, I mean. I'll pick up the tab." Iruka's voice was nervous. "Whaddya say?"
-
Kakashi inexplicably felt himself get rather hot around the collar. Did Iruka know what he was asking? To Kakashi, it sounded an awful lot like a date. He shifted from one foot to the other, waiting. Perhaps for an answer to fall out of the sky.
"Tonight's pretty sudden, Iruka-sensei--"
"Okay." Iruka all but shouted, giving Kakashi an all too fake smile. "I should've know. Jounin like you have to have the work load full! Missions and all that. Well, I mean, I should know, I assign most of them..."
It was painfully clear to both parties that the chuunin-sensei was rambling.
"Another time, maybe," Kakashi said painfully.
Iruka, all cheerful exuberance fading, nodded sadly and made to turn around. Not before another nin dropped in on the two, however.
When the figure straightened up, it was a sight to behold. Tall and slender. Lavender, so light that it was almost pure white, not quite shoulder length hair. Steel blue calculating eyes. And a white smile to top it all off.
Kakashi remembered that smile.
It haunted him in his sleep. A hunter's smile...
Like their smiles.
And the Copy nin felt his stomach fall.
Mizuki raised his hand in greeting briefly to Kakashi, grinning at the man like the way a shark would at a defenseless lamb. He ambled over to his colleague and slung an arm around his shoulders, still grinning his predatory grin.
"Hey guys," he said coolly. "What's up?"
"Nothing," Iruka stated calmly. Mizuki was one of his closest friends after all. "Just asking Kakashi if he wanted to go for some ramen is all."
Mizuki arched a fine brow. "Really?" He turned to Kakashi. "You going?"
Kakashi shook his head, his grip rigid on his book. Neither of the other men noticed.
"Crying shame," Mizuki sighed. Then brightened. "Mind if I join, Iruka?"
Iruka positively beamed. "Why not?" They both turned. "Bye Kakashi-sensei!"
"Yeah..." Mizuki grinned wolfishly once again. "See ya around, Kakashi."
---
Kakashi Hatake stumbled into his home some time later. He was greeted by the darkness of the pitch black dwelling as he felt his way into the kitchen.
He wrenched his mask off, and without that this slip of cloth he felt as if he could finally breathe. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, almost frantically. He remembered his sensei's deep, soothing voice talking to him one day.
"Rub your nose so fast like that Kakashi, and you'll rub it clear off!"
"I can't help it sensei," Kakashi muttered, re-adjusting his mask. "It's a habit."
He sat at the wooden table towards the edge of the frighteningly clean kitchen, his head laying in his arms. He gasped raggedly, memories of the day swimming hazily in his mind. Along with others. Memories that he had tried so hard to forget. So hard to repress.
Shark-like smiles.
A boy screaming for them to stop, just stop.
Burning, firey pain as something was pushed into him.
Sobbing.
A hand roughly beating the boy's tears away.
Men laughing.
Fire.
White hair. Blue eyes.
Hands.... Hands everywhere...
Grabbing.
Touching
Choking
NonononoNO!
Please... St-stop...
"Why me?"
Kakashi punched his left hand directly through the table, splintering the wood and driving the shards into his hand. He seethed in pain, pulling his hand out of the hole and tearing away the glove.
His hand was torn all over, tiny pieces of wood still sticking out at awkward angles. He groaned.
But then again... yes. This was it. He remembered now. This was a way to deal with the pain. The memories.
How he had to get rid of them. How he could get rid of them all.
He didn't even register the flash of silver or the bite of the blade as it cut a clean line across his forearm. The warm blood trickled down to his fingers, almost artistic in the way that it fell to the floor with almost no sound.
It worked.
For a moment, Kakashi couldn't feel the pain.
For a moment, he was safe as the memories faded in the bloody kunai's wake.
---
tsukiraven: I am proud and yet horrified by what I put my Kakashi through...
Iruka: --fumes-- Your Kakashi?
tsukiraven: Eep!
Iruka: My Kashi, Mine! You can not have! No touchies!
tsukiraven: Someone save me from the possessive boyfriend no jutsu!
Reviews are loved and cherished. Tell me what you think! This is all for you, Icy Sapphire15! Please, enjoi it! I'll get back to I'll Cover You real quick, I'm almost done with the next chappie!
Important A/N: Tsukiraven does not condone the rape and/or sexual molestation of minors, nor does she condone cutting or self-mutilation of any kind. She is sorry if her story offends you.
Peace Out!