Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Gambare Shikamaru ❯ Tsunade-sama is Off Her Rocker ( Chapter 4 )

I apologize for taking so long with this chapter but you have no idea how busy I've been. Next week is finals but I decided to squeeze in a quick chapter because of all the nice reviews I've been getting. When I started writing this fic, I thought I was writing solely for my own enjoyment, which is why I never bothered with posting translations of the little bit of Japanese terms I used in this fic. But to my surprise, people were actually reading this fic!!! (OH WOW!) Without more useless ramblings, Otanoshimi ni kudasai~

p.s.

It's very irritating that fanfic.net keeps changing the format of the structure of this fic.

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Ch. 4 Tsunade-sama is Off Her Rocker

He stood in the bushes, peering through the windows of the house. There were no lights on. Either nobody was home or the mistress of the house was already asleep. With the assistance of the moonlight, the dark haired man managed to make out the faint details of the barely-visible room inside. He leaned closer to the window and cupped his hands around his eyes to make sure the coast was clear before making his move.

He was sick of waiting in the bushes. It seemed like much of his life was spent hiding in the bushes where he endured the prodding branches and creeping critters that skitter over his body. He stepped out of the bushes, patted himself and picked a leaf out of his hair.

`What am I doing?!' he thought, `This is MY house so why am I creeping around like I shouldn't be here?!" He walked to the front door and took his keys out of his pocket. It jingled annoyingly as he poked around blindly for the keyhole. Then, there was success. The key pushed in with minor resistance and he turned it with a satisfying click.

He opened the front door carefully and stepped into the house with caution. His hand was gentle as he closed the door slowly in a way that wouldn't make a noise. The last thing he wanted was to wake Ino up. She was after all, the reason behind his sneakiness. If she was already pissed at him, he didn't need to enrage her by waking her from her slumber. Shikamaru doubted that she'd be very glad that he was home.

He stepped on the heel of his left shoe and slipped his left foot out. After freeing his left foot, he tried to wiggle his right foot free before realizing his shortcut method actually took more effort. Giving up, he bent down and pulled his shoe off with his hands. This time, he remembered to slide his shoes into the proper place that Ino designated as the shoe-rack instead of leaving it at the door.

Shikamaru was tiptoeing across the room on his sock-clad feet when he noticed a plate covered in saran-wrap sitting on the kitchen table. He went to the table to investigate. His fingers lifted a corner of the saran-wrap and he smiled a satisfied smile. Despite Ino's recent hostility towards him, she still cared enough to make him dinner. Perhaps his situation wasn't as dire as he thought.

Although he most certainly walked across the kitchen on his own two feet to get a pair of chopsticks, the sensation he had was that of floating. Shikamaru felt like he was gliding lightly on his toes even as he walked back to the kitchen table. He sat down and marveled at how a tiny show of affection from Ino can have such a drastic effect on him. He would laugh at how terrible of a state his masculinity was in if he wasn't still high on bliss.

He muttered a quick "Itadakimasu" before shoveling the food into his mouth. Shikamaru ate quickly and cleanly. "Gochisousan" he said after he swallowed his last bite. He paused to sample the aftertaste in his mouth and came to the conclusion that Ino was still a terrible cook. Good thing he's not picky. He eats because he has to in order to continue living. The concept of "favorite" and "hated" foods eluded him. If Ino felt compelled to cook, he'll eat whatever she makes without much fuss. As long as her cuisine didn't have any negative side effects such as physical discomfort that is. What was actually important to him was the fact that Ino considered him to have enough notable worth to take the time out of her life and cook for him.

It was during this moment of exhilaration that his nose caught a whiff of a strange stink. He looked around and sniffed experimentally before realizing the stench was coming from him. The jounin leaned his head down on a hand and sighed. He had missions all day long. It was no wonder that he smelled. Shikamaru decided to take his shower in the bathroom found in the hallway, instead, of the one in their bedroom so that Ino wouldn't be bothered by the sound of running water. He really does want Ino to have a good night's rest.

******

After his shower, Shikamaru's hair draped over his muscled shoulders in loose velvety black locks. He ran his fingers through his hair and decided that it was dry enough for bed. Since the fogged up mirror was making it hard for him to see his reflection, he decided to rely on his fingers to check for facial hair stubbles. His fingers slid across his smooth cheeks and stroked over his defined chin. Not one prick from any fuzz. He was now presentable enough to be in the same bed as Ino.

He walked out of the steam filled bathroom in only his boxers and was greeted by the perfect temperature of a night in spring. The cool air felt refreshing against his hot damp skin as he walked down the hall to the master bedroom he shares with Ino. His hand tightened nervously around the doorknob. Shikamaru suppressed his rising fears and opened the door.

******

The pale white light of the bright moon streamed into the dark bedroom from the large windows. The beams of moonlight reflected brightly off the white sheets of the bed, lighting up the woman sprawled on it like an artwork on display. And once again, Shikamaru found himself unable to breath in her presence. The sound of the steady beating of his heart thudded in his ears. She was just so beautiful. Her blond hair pooled freely around her head like strands of halo, framing her sleeping face. Under the moonlight, her skin shined with a cool radiance and her hair looked more silver than blond. It was the combination of her milky complexion and heavy lashes that rested on her cheeks, that reminded him of the princesses in the fairytales he never believed in. He might start believing in fairytales now. His success in getting Ino to marry him was almost as unbelievable as much of those stories. Except, in this story, the princess wasn't a feeble-minded nitwit devoid of any purpose except to further the plot of the story. Nor did she ever needed to wait for a savior prince. And instead of Prince Charming on his white stallion, she settled for a stable boy in fishnet shirt. His family traditionally raised deer.

She was wearing a spaghetti-strap thin cotton nightie, which was a surprise to him. Ino usually preferred to sleep in tank top and boxers. Shikamaru saw how one strap of her nightie had slipped off her shoulder in her sleep. The loose strap revealed her creamy flesh and he found himself unable to look away from her partially revealed breasts. He swallowed with effort. `Just like Ino…..A tease even in her sleep.' He thought.

He slowly crawled into his side of the bed, which was whatever space that wasn't already taken up by her. She wasn't the most graceful of sleepers. He's never told her but more than once, she's given him a few bruises in her state of sleep when they lay in bed together.

Shikamaru rolled to his side and propped his head up with an arm. He laid still in that position, never taking his eyes off Ino. His eyes were trained on her, watching her intently with warm loving look in his eyes. Without thinking, he reached out and gently cupped her face. There was a brief moment of panic, but when Ino didn't seem to be waking up anytime soon, he let himself relax.

Ino's cheeks felt soft against his roughened palm. He couldn't resist himself. After a brief internal struggle, he allowed his calloused thumb to stroke over her luscious lips. A soft whimper escaped from her before she settled back down into a deep sleep.

The way she laid there and the cute noises she made induced the same hunger she always brought out in him. There was the familiar tightening in his boxer shorts as a pleasurable sensation pooled in his groin in anticipation. His body was warning him that if he didn't stop now, he would end up losing all semblance of control. But her hair was tantalizing him. He couldn't bring himself to retreat to his lonely half of the bed without touching it first. Shikamaru caught a lock of her hair and carefully rubbed it between his fingers. It was soft and delicate. He leaned closer to her and caught the scent of her fruity shampoo. Saliva welled in his mouth as he silently lusted after his wife.

"Ino," he said in a low voice " I love you." Why is it that he can never bring himself to say it to her when she's awake to hear him?

He scooted his body closer to her and spooned against her side. "I'll always be here for you." He promised out loud, albeit quietly. His fingers tenderly framed a lock of her bangs around her face.

The bulge of his desire pressed against her thigh.

Ino opened her mouth and a sleepy snort escaped from her. Her body started to move and Shikamaru froze fearfully. Would she be angry to find him rubbing up against her in his aroused state? Would she accuse him of molesting her in her sleep? Was he molesting her in her sleep? His brain raced with all the possible scenarios that might occur and none of them with a happy ending for him.

Ino turned, then suddenly swung her arm. Her bent elbow slammed into his face and left him gasping in pain. His nose stung with the aftershock of the impact, which continued to bring reflexive tears into his eyes. Was that for pressing up against her?

Ino's eyes were still closed as she licked her lips. She mumbled incoherently the dialogue in her dream before she sunk back down into the mattress. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized she was still asleep.

Her hands flexed a few times in search of the pillow she loved to snuggle with. And when she didn't find it, she grabbed Shikamaru and pulled herself on top of him.

Shikamaru resigned himself to his fate. `Yup,' he thought, `tonight was going to be a long and fretful night.'

He was too distracted to ever have noticed the scroll with the Hokage seal, sitting on a windowsill.

*****

There was that moment of disoriented confusion as Ino neared the state of wakefulness. She was sleeping on something solid that radiated comforting warmth. It was hard, but not so hard that it was uncomfortable to be on top of. She started to feel around. Ino ran her hands on whatever parts she could touch. It was hard and velvety under her palms. She could feel grooves, no, the defined separation of muscles on a male body. It was-

The body under her stirred. She heard a yawn.

"I had no idea you preferred me unconscious and vulnerable." A sleepy voice said teasingly.

Ino blushed and pushed herself up from Shikamaru's body. "Morning" she said.

He gave her a crooked smile before replying, "Too early for that." He closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Since she was already used to his idle behavior, she decided she would let him lay for a bit while she did what needed to be done. Besides, she was supposed to be mad at him. Therefore she should ignore him and let him wallow in his own self-defeating laziness.

******

One hour and seventeen minutes. It has been exactly one hour and seventeen minutes since she got out of bed. She's already showered, made breakfast (no matter what the color, eggs were still eggs), did laundry, and checked for missions. She found herself confused again, over her recent dry spell in missions. There hasn't been anything higher than a B ranked mission delegated to her for some time. It's been so long since she's had a decent mission that she was even getting suspicious. Was the Hokage-sama dissatisfied with her performance or was Konoha having financial troubles?

She was about to wash the skillet in her hand when her eyes caught sight of a green scroll bearing the distinctive mark of the Hokage. Finally, a mission! Ino dropped the skillet in excitement and raced to the window. Any scroll wrapped up that secretively and delivered directly to her house with the personal mark of the Hokage must be an S classed mission. She pushed the window up and snatched the scroll then danced to the living room with a spring in her steps. She eagerly broke the seal and pulled the scroll open.

"How to make your man the lover-boy you want him to be:" she read aloud. "The guide to charms, spells, and chakra manipulation that'll make him shed his inhibitions????" she finished with a note of panic in her voice. There was a long confusion induced pause before Ino set the scroll down and rubbed her eyes. She picked it up again to confirm if what she read was actually what was written.

Had Tsunade-sama finally lost her nut? What kind of "mission" was this?

Ino was unable to decide what type of reaction she should have. Her eyes started to skim the contents of the scroll again.

`Method I: How to voodoo what you do want out of your hubby with only tissues and etc.' she read silently. That was when she heard the sound of Shikamaru walking down the stairs. The thudding of his slow approaching trod caused Ino to panic completely. Why was Shikamaru getting out of bed so early (for him) without her prompting? She grabbed at the loose scroll and rolled it up into a crumpled ball then forced it under a couch.

Just then, a rumpled looking Shikamaru walked into the room. "Ino?" he asked in a confused tone when he saw her flustered state. He adjusted his boxers then scratched his head. His untied hair was a messy mop around his head. Ino thought he looked adorably huggable.

"Er….I made breakfast! Go eat!" she practically yelled at him. He wore his usual expression as he raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything more. He obediently turned and sleepily went towards the kitchen.

Ino breathed a sigh of relief, then pouted towards the direction of Shikamaru. Maybe voodoo really was the cure she needed to make her unromantic oaf get off his Nara butt. But she would have to put off studying the scroll for until Shikamaru was out of the house. Truth be told, Ino wasn't too sure about how she felt about…."magical" methods. `It wouldn't be the same as slipping someone a drug to make them do what you wanted them to do, right?' she wondered worriedly. `But it must not be illegal if Tsunade-sama was the one who had the scroll delivered to her.' She decided.

"Ino," Shikamaru called out to her from the kitchen. "Is the brown stuff the eggs?"

Ino twitched in self-reproaching embarrassment and refused to give him an answer.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Shikamaru came to the conclusion that the brown stuff without a consistent texture was the eggs and started to chow down.

******

Ino sighed then flopped backwards on the couch tiredly. `Why couldn't Shikamaru be like other men?' she asked herself as she stared up at the ceiling. He rarely kisses, he never snuggles, he doesn't say the three little words that makes their relationship sturdier, and unbelievably, they've never went out on a real date. Ino was tired of seeing happy affectionate couples crawling on top of each other and sucking each other's face off whenever she left the house. It made her jealous and wonder what was wrong with her own relationship with Shikamaru. She hated having to doubt his feelings towards her. But don't actions speak louder than words? Well, in her case, there were no "actions" and nor were there "words". What made it all more mortifying was the fact that Sasuke was sweeter towards Naruto than Shikamaru towards her. If even that man made of ice could change in a loving relationship, why wasn't her Shikamaru transforming into a charming husband? Maybe it was because that implied actually "trying", and he just couldn't bring himself to do anything that required energy expenditure.

Ino's mind wandered back to the scroll. She was sure those cheesy methods wouldn't work. There were after all, no such things as magic and voodoos. But, it wouldn't hurt to give it try she guessed. She has been rather bored recently, what with the lack of missions and all. There was the insane desire in her to sample a Casanova version of Shikamaru and it was making her irrational.

Wouldn't it be nice to be romanced once in a while?

TBC (When finals is over)

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Because two people have asked for translations, here it is.

Ch. 1

Mendokusee (less polite form of Japanese): Troublesome

Ittekuru (Less formal form of Ittekimasu): "I'm leaving but I'll be returning" (What you say when you're leaving the house)

Itterasshai (polite "female" form): (what u say when someone is leaving) be safe, come home soon (something like that I guess. No real English equivalent)

Uso: no way, a lie

Ch.2

Gomen: sorry

Warukatta: "my bad" (closest English equivalent)

Onna: woman

Ch.3

-kun: honorific for peers

gomen nasai: sorry

-chan: used to address friends and girls and kids.

Ch.4

Itadakimasu (polite "female" form): you say it before you start eating

Gochisousan (less formal "male" form): You say it after you're done eating.

I think that's all of the Japanese (I hope). I must go deliver mother's day present to my grandma now~