Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Happiness, by Accident ❯ Happiness, Nonexistent ( Prologue )

AN: This was an experiment in writing in first person and present tense, both of which are new to me but the prologue is the only part of the fic which will be in present tense. I'm trying hard to get as far as possible with this but this fic is sort of writing itself. I only have a rough idea of where this'll end up so I hope that you will all be patient with me and enjoy the outcome.

 

Heads up: NaruSasuNaru, AU, some language, eventual romance and action. Also my first Naruto fic.

 

Happiness, by Accident

Prologue

By: Lotuschan

 

I'm tired.

 

Not physically tired but… in every other way you can imagine. I'm tired of my life; of feeling like I'm trapped in some kind of cage and can't get out. Tired of hearing my parents, even my mother who's usually so soft spoken, screaming at each other in the kitchen below my darkened bedroom. Tired because I know how it'll end.

 

He can't hit my mother, their lifestyle won't allow it. He's the CEO of a multinational company and my mother lives the life of a socialite; she's the face of the family. It would raise too many questions if that face were damaged. I can hear him stomping up the stairs now.

 

He can't touch my mother, but I'm fair game.

 

The light comes on and I know that he's here. “Sasuke! Where the fuck are you hiding?!” I don't answer. Nothing I say will spare me what's to come. It's happened enough times already that I've stopped trying to hide; to run away. I hear him round the bed to find me sitting on the floor, staring out the window. He grabs me by the hair and lifts me to my knees. “I asked you a question! Answer me when I speak to you, you ungrateful brat!” He shoves my head against the window sill and the sudden unexpected impact leaves me seeing stars.

 

“Damnit Sasuke! Why couldn't it have been you?!” He kicks me in the stomach and I wince painfully, stifling a cry. I hear my mother start pleading for me but tune her out immediately. I can't stand to hear her begging him.

 

Don't misunderstand me, I was never a weakling. I never used to just take my father's abuse without a fight, but a few broken bones, a concussion, and a couple trips to the hospital later, I realized that fighting back was only making it worse. The doctor's are no help, they're all on my father's payroll, and running away is no use because he always finds me. He was always there to remind me with blood and pain that I could never get away because although he didn't want me, he was too concerned with appearances to find losing me acceptable either. My brother was the only one who could stand between him and me but after Itachi died there was nothing to stop him.

 

Another kick to the ribs knocks the wind outta me and as I struggle to breathe I feel his hand in my hair again, lifting me up. “If Itachi had lived, I wouldn't need your useless sorry ass around!” My brother… That's what this is really all about. His fist connects with my face and I taste blood. “Worthless!” He hits me in the face again and the force of it sends me into the wall behind me. There's more blood in my mouth and the shock of the punch causes me to gasp and choke, leaving me coughing blood onto the floor and gasping for breath. I feel something hard connect with the back of my head and I hear my mother scream as I crumple to the floor.

 

My hand is in my line of sight. I stare at it disconnectedly while the arguing continues above me. The scars on the inside of my wrist remind me of my one moment of desperation; the last time I tried to run away. The scars remind me everyday that I'm trapped; that I can't run away from this, that not even death will give me refuge. Tears of frustration well up in my eyes and I try to remind myself that it's better this way. It's better when I let him blame me for Itachi's death, better when I don't resist, because the beatings are always so much worse when I do.

 

I hear a loud thump and look up to see my mother fall to the floor. My blood runs cold… he's never dared hit her before! But looking up was a mistake, Father turns around and kicks me in the face. I fall onto my back, stifling another cry and holding my face in my hands. I feel his hands wrap around my neck and I can't breathe. “What was that look just now?? Do you think you can defy me??”

 

He uses a hand to pull one of mine away and as I look into his enraged face, I feel all the fight in me leave me with a short exhalation. He's not making it easy for me to breathe and I find myself hoping that he gets carried away. I… I don't really want to die but … but I'm just so tired…

 

He backhands me and I spit a bit more blood onto the carpet. “Answer me!”

 

I grit my teeth against the pain and make a few hollow gasps trying to get some much needed air into my lungs. The pressure on my neck ebbs slightly and after a few choking breaths I go completely limp under him and stare back up at his face defiantly, in spite of my resolve not to resist. “Just kill me.” I challenge, knowing he won't do it.

 

He sneers and backhands me again, “As attractive as that notion sounds, don't think you'll escape your responsibilities so easily! You're the Uchiha heir now, and you will provide me with grandsons to give this company to because I will not leave it to you.” … and that's exactly why I'm still alive. He gets up and leaves me there. My mother, too terrified of the violence she's just witnessed, gets up and runs out of the room before he can reach the door. It's alright, he doesn't allow her to comfort me anyway.

 

I take several shallow breaths, my chest hurts too much to expand my lungs any more than that and slowly curl up into a ball, waiting for the pain to diminish. I reflect that it could've been much worse. He went easy on me today…

 

I can't take much more of this. I'm not the same person I once was and I can't stand who I've become. I open my eyes, not knowing when I'd closed them and stare at the scars on my wrist again. As a familiar desperation wells up inside me dark thoughts begin to enter my mind. Perhaps I only need to find more creative ways of running away… maybe then I will be free…