Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Holding On ❯ Holding On ( One-Shot )

[ A - All Readers ]

Title: Holding On

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Also, the song ‘Broken’ belongs to Lifehouse.

Summary: With Naruto gone, there’s nothing else to keep his mind occupied. SasuNaru, character death!

A/N: This is a little song-fic that I thought up while I was listening to Lifehouse. I thought some parts of the song fit Sasuke perfectly. I hope you do too once you read or listen to the song-to some of you who listen to it just to get the feeling. Review! ^_^

P.S. Pleeeeease don’t kill me!!! /cries/




It happened so fast, that he couldn’t react in time. The kunai came whizzing through the trees, straight at Naruto. Sasuke tried to scream for him, to warn him, but the blond couldn’t hear him over the villagers’ screams. He watched in slow motion as the kunai lodged itself in the blond’s back, so deep that Naruto couldn’t reach around to pull it out. Then to Sasuke’s horror an enemy ninja, equipped with a katana, impaled the blond straight through. The Uchiha tried to move, but something was wrapped around one of his legs. He looked down desperately, seeing vines wrapping themselves up his calves. He flashed through a series of seals, forming the seal indicating ‘horse’. There was a great burst of flames, and then he was free.

Blood was dribbling down the blond’s chin, and Sasuke hoped to God that Kyuubi healed his teammate quickly. The dark haired boy rushed at the ninja with the sword, blue chakra wrapped about his hand, the Sharingan spinning wildly in his eyes.

“Chidori!” Sasuke screamed, tears stinging the back of his eyes. His Chidori ripped straight through the enemy ninja’s chest, and he dropped to the ground like a doll. The blond boy was kneeling on the ground, both hands placed on the hilt of the sword. He ripped it out of his stomach, screaming as it cut at his insides and made more blood pool around his knees. “Naruto!” Sasuke half gasped, kneeling next to his friend and pressing a hand to the red stuff staining his jacket. Naruto clung to Sasuke’s shirt, everything around him blurring around the edges. “Naruto, don’t you fucking die! I won’t forgive you, you bastard!”

Naruto chuckled despite himself, causing more blood to dribble down the corners of his mouth. The blond sagged against his teammate, his energy slowly slipping away. There was this beautiful light just behind Sasuke, and he could see the fourth Hokage smiling at him. But that wasn’t right. The Fourth Hokage was dead, wasn’t he? Did that mean Naruto was dying, too?

“You can’t die, dobe. You can’t leave me alone.” Sasuke clutched the blond’s body to his chest, and Naruto could feel his teammate trembling. Was he crying?

“You’ll be okay, teme.” Naruto told him softly, letting his head loll back against the taller boy’s shoulder. He felt so cold all of a sudden, like something was leeching away his warmth. “Heh. This is kind’ve ironic, ne?”

“Stop talking. Save your strength.” Sasuke lifted his head, tears streaming openly down his cheeks. He brushed Naruto’s hair off his forehead, wincing at the blood matted in the blond strands. It seemed like he had more than one wound he was bleeding from. The Uchiha traced the whisker marks on the blond’s face with three of his fingers, and was terrified to find that his teammate was getting colder. “Naruto, stay with me, okay? Sakura will be here soon, so don’t give up. Stay with me until then.”

Naruto swallowed thickly, even that turning out to be difficult. He could just barely hear Sasuke’s voice for the blood rushing in his ears. He suddenly couldn’t stay upright anymore and he felt himself being lowered into a pair of strong, warm arms. His head was cradled against Sasuke’s chest, and he could feel the Uchiha’s racing heart through the fabric of his shirt.

“You know the ninja laws, ne? Don’t show your emotions.” Naruto said, closing his eyes because they were suddenly too heavy to keep open. That light was calling out to him, and somehow the Third Hokage was holding a bowl of ramen. He felt himself smile as the light got brighter, and a blond haired, blue eyed woman appeared next to the Fourth Hokage. Naruto could only guess this woman was his mother.

“Don’t leave me alone.” Sasuke whispered, clutching the blond tighter to his chest. Just as he said it, though, he felt Naruto’s body go limp and knew he’d lost him. Sakura had been too late to save him. “No. No, no, no. You can’t-You can’t leave me alone. I don’t have anyone else.” The Uchiha sobbed into the blond’s Chuunin vest, not caring that his teammate’s blood was rubbing off on his cheek. All that he cared about was the body in his arms, and never, ever letting it go again.

“Sasuke-kun!” There were footsteps in the clearing, and Sasuke could tell that the rest of the team had finally arrived. There were twin gasps-Sakura and Kakashi-as their eyes landed on the blond in his arms. Sasuke was surrounded by Naruto’s blood and it clung to his clothes and skin. “What happened? Why is he…?” The Uchiha heard a dull thud-Sakura dropping to her knees-but it was all drowned out by the sounds of his sobs. There were more footsteps, and a hand landed on the dark haired teen’s shoulder.

“We have to go, Sasuke.” Kakashi said in a firm voice, although it wavered slightly if you were listening close enough. Sasuke shrugged Kakashi’s hand off his shoulder and clung to the blond’s dead boy tighter. “We have to get back to the village, Sasuke. Others need our help.”

“Go yourself.” The dark haired boy spat, turning watery, black eyes on his teacher. Kakashi took a step back, as if his student’s gaze burned him. “Fuck this stupid war. I’m done.” A single tear ran down the Uchiha’s cheek, and he brushed it away angrily with his hand. The silver haired man watched him with sad eyes, seeming to make a final decision in his head.

“You and Sakura take Naruto’s body back to Tsunade. We’ll meet there later.” Without another word, Kakashi left the small clearing, leaving nothing but his words ringing in his students’ ears. A minute later, Sakura pulled herself from the ground and stood just behind Sasuke.

“Sasuke-kun, we should go.” The pink haired girl wiped away a stray tear as her dark haired teammate slowly stood, hoisting Naruto’s body into his arms. There were tears stains marring his cheeks, like he’d been crying for a while before they got there. She watched how careful Sasuke was with Naruto’s body, like it was a fragile package that would break if you dropped it. There was love laced into every move he made.

Konoha was nearly ripped to shreds. The buildings were missing chunks out of them, and there were great, big cracks in the streets. Dead shinobi littered the pavement, and injured ones helped each other to lean against chunks of concrete. Some stopped to stare as Sasuke and Sakura walked past, the Uchiha holding Naruto’s body possessively. In a few short minutes they had reached the Hokage Tower, and walked slowly up the stairs to Tsunade’s office, where there were loud voices coming from inside.

“Hokage-sama, please.” Said a man’s voice, sounding like the conversation behind the door was bordering on dangerous. Sasuke kicked the door open with his foot, and the whole room went silent. The man that had been speaking looked at them like they were tiny little ants under his feet.

“Oh, my God!” Tsunade gasped, rushing out of her seat to where Sasuke was standing. She tilted Naruto’s face towards her, noticing how sickly pale his skin was. She brushed blood-matted hair out of his eyes, and tried to hold back her tears. “How-How did this happen?”

“I couldn’t save him.” Sasuke said flatly, feeling nothing as Tsunade reached for the blond’s body. The Uchiha took a step back, still unwilling to let the blond go. The blond woman furrowed her eyebrows at Sasuke, then turned to Sakura for some kind of explanation. “Don’t bother. She wasn’t there.” The dark haired boy shifted Naruto’s body, his heart ramming against his ribcage as his head lolled lifelessly against his chest. “He was impaled by a katana. When he ripped it out, he just cut himself more. Kyuubi couldn’t heal him fast enough.”

Tsunade nodded in mute understanding, unshed tears shining in the corners of her eyes. She pointed Sasuke towards a coach against the wall, but the dark haired boy refused to put the blond’s body down.

“You’re in no condition, brat.” The blond woman choked, the name reminding her of the blond in the other boy’s arms. When Sasuke still refused to give it up, the Hokage gave up and went back to sit behind her desk.

“Is that the demon vessel?” A bald man piped up, turning his disgusted gaze on the blond boy. A malicious smirk formed on his lips and a deep chuckle sounded in the room. “It was only a matter of time. The bastard fox couldn’t save him? Well, I guess it was for the best.”

The bald man found himself suddenly shoved up against the wall by his neck, and the sound of chirping met his ears. The only thing he could see were angry, red eyes.

“Say anything bad about Naruto again, and I will kill you.” Sasuke seethed, baring his teeth in a fierce scowl as the man shivered in his hold. The Uchiha tightened his hold on the man’s neck, watching as his face turned red and purple. “I won’t let you say anything about my best friend, no matter who you are.” With another growl, Sasuke let the man go and turned back to Sakura, whom had their blond teammate cradled in her arms.

He stared down at the blond’s face, and felt his heart lodge in his throat. Why did this have to happen now, right after he realized his feelings for the blond? With Naruto gone, he had nothing left to keep him grounded. There was no one there to tell him everything would be all right.

A single tear made a track down his cheek, and he quickly turned away before anyone could see it. Sakura and Kakashi were the only ones he felt safe enough to be sixteen around. “Sakura, take care of his body.” The Uchiha glanced at the blond once more before heading towards the door and wrenched it open. Sakura just nodded in understanding and let her dark haired teammate walk away.

“We’re gathered here today to mourn the loss of a brave ninja and a close friend to all. Uzumaki Naruto, you lived such a short life, that none of us knew you at all.” There was crying amongst the crown as the elder finished reading the passage. Sasuke watched the proceeding with a blank look, having no tears left to cry. Three weeks had gone by before they actually got to plan a funeral for the blond boy. The war had gotten worse as the days passed, but it had thinned out once Tsunade made a pact with the Cloud village. The future looked bright, but to Sasuke, a future without his best friend was no future at all.

When the funeral had ended, Sasuke went straight home without stopping to speak to anyone. Sakura understood this best, because Sasuke had lost a lot of people in his life. She was surprised he hadn’t broken yet and tried to take his own life. It was no secret that her dark haired teammate was in love with Naruto. She had known for quite some time, before Sasuke even knew. She wanted him to know that she was still her; that she would help him get through all of the tough times until he was okay enough to move on.

…If he was ever okay again…

Four months had gone by, and Sasuke stayed locked in his house, hating the world and whoever had taken his best friend away from him. Sakura stopped by every day, bringing him flowers, telling him that everyone was worried about his sanity. He always slammed the door on her when she mentioned their blond teammate wanting Sasuke to move on with his life. It made him angry. Who cared what the blond idiot wanted him to do? If Sasuke wanted to mope about his death, then more power to him. Sakura just didn’t understand! What if he had died, and she had been forced to hate herself for not making her feelings clear earlier.

No, that’s not right, Sasuke groaned, realizing that she had confessed her feelings to him before he left for Sound. He couldn’t blame her for anything. It was the war they were fighting, and there was just so much going on that Naruto would’ve died, anyway.

Sasuke rolled onto his stomach, staring at the blinking clock on the nightstand. The numbers made him sleepy, but he didn’t want to close his eyes. Every time he did, he saw the blond boy running to him, arms outstretched and grinning that dopey grin. It made his chest hurt.

The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out

Four months without the blond boy at his side. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Maybe it hadn’t quite sunk in, but he felt…empty. There were no more tears, no more regrets. There was no reason for him to get up every morning and greet the world. Four months and he hadn’t even gone to see the memorial, where Naruto’s name was surely etched into the stone. He felt like he was turning into Kakashi, and soon-when he decided to get out of the house-he’d be at that memorial every waking moment of his young life, crying out to a God that wouldn’t listen. Because he had taken his one precious, irreplaceable thing away from him.

He tried to make himself stop thinking, but every time he tried he pictured himself kissing the blond, telling him how much he loved him. And it hurt worse than having a kunai shoved into his neck, because that was so far away now. It was completely unattainable.

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning

He wanted to see the memorial, he realized, as the clock by his bed finally struck midnight. He pulled himself from the comfort of his bed, and made himself walk down the hall, towards the stairs and down them. The house was dark, the only light from the moon in the sky. He made himself put on his sandals, made himself pull on a coat, and made himself open his front door. The night air was chilly, but he told himself to ignore it as he quietly made his way down the path leading out of the Uchiha compound, and walked onto the empty street.

Since it was midnight, there was no one walking around in the streets. All of the stores were shut down, their windows dark and dingy in the pale moonlight. But all of that was of little importance. His main focus was the memorial near Naruto’s apartment, which was a little ways off from the beaten path.

Thinking about Naruto hurt.

So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

The gray stone seemed eerie as he made his way towards it, hands shoved into his coat pockets. The moonlight glinted off of it like some sort of mirror, making the moment seem that much more real.

“Hey, dobe.” Sasuke said softly, dropping down to sit just in front of the memorial. His fingers traced the name carved at the very bottom and a small smile tugged his mouth up at the corners. He felt closer to the blond boy here, like somehow they’d be able to talk through this memorial. “It’s…hard without you. I know you said I’d be okay, but I don’t believe that I will.” Refusing to cry again, Sasuke bit down on his bottom lip hard until he could taste the copper on his tongue. “It’s really fucking hard, Naruto.”

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They’re still looking for life

He didn’t know how much time ticked by, but he was at ease sitting there, like the blond’s soul was watching over him at that very moment. There was still so much he had to say, but so little time and not enough words in his vocabulary. It wasn’t easy to tell someone how you felt, especially a guy you were shitty to for most of his life.

“You–I’m sorry. All I’ve ever been to you is an ass.” Sasuke smirked a little, knowing that the blond would most likely agree with him, wearing that dopey grin. He pictured it in his mind, and suddenly had to stop because his chest constricted and he couldn’t breathe. If he knew this was the way everything would end, he wouldn’t have come back from Sound. Maybe then he wouldn’t be as affected by the blond’s death as he was now.

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name I find meaning

Sasuke traced over the blond’s name again, willing himself to stay levelheaded. He hadn’t seen the memorial at all since Naruto’s name had been added, and the emotions were running rampant deep in his chest. To see his best friend’s name on a memorial, and to have been there when he died, he felt responsible for it. If he had reacted faster, then maybe Naruto would’ve lived. He would’ve been there to hear Sasuke’s frightened confession, after coming so close to losing him completely.

So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

You can’t blame yourself, Sasuke, the dark haired boy told himself. At least he tried to. He was there, and he could’ve done something to prevent it. He was an Uchiha; he possessed the Sharingan and a curse mark from the snake bastard. He fucking knew the chidori and another, stronger version of it. There was a way he could’ve helped the blond to make it through the fight.

“I blame myself for your death, Naruto. I could’ve done something to help you. I could’ve done something, dammit!” Sasuke yelled, his voice echoing around his ears. His voice came back panicked, and just a little angry. He bit as lip as the first wave of tears cascaded down his cheeks. “Fuck, I said I was done crying. All I ever do is cry! I’m not this fucking weak!”

But, then again, I am…

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be okay

Wiping the tears off his cheeks, Sasuke stared at the memorial through watery eyes. “I’m barely holding on here, but I won’t give up. I know…it’s what you would want.” The dark haired teen ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath to calm himself because his hand was shaking. He didn’t remember being this freaked out before, but then again nobody ever died in his arms. His parents were already dead when he found them, but finding Itachi there had sent a whole new shock to his system.

Sasuke tipped his head back to look up at the stars, wondering if his parents were looking down on him now. He needed to borrow strength from someone, so he had the will to move on.

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home

Sasuke looked back down at the memorial stone again, feeling like he stayed there long enough. The sun could be seen rising in the distance, like one of his fire jutsus.

“Naruto, I-I’ve been such an ass to you, and I don’t know if I could make it up to you. But I want you-need you to know that I…I love you.” The Uchiha ducked his head, as more tears made themselves known on his cheeks. Saying it out loud like that made everything feel so real.

With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

Sasuke got up to leave, dusting off the back of his shorts as he took one more look at the memorial. It would take time and effort, but he would get on with his life. It was what Naruto would want him to do, and he wanted the blond to be happy wherever he was.

“This is it, dobe. The end of the story. I just…I love you.” With one more long glance, Sasuke turned on his heel and walked away, feeling lighter for the first time in four months. There was nothing else to say. He’d said everything he wanted to, and regretted nothing.

Softly, in the space of a breath, on the wind, he heard it. Naruto’s voice drifting to him from the other side, like some surreal dream.

“I love you, too, teme.” Sasuke could tell there were tears in those words, and he felt his own trickle down his cheeks uncontrollably. But they were happy tears, because Naruto loved him, too. And some day soon, they would be reunited in a world just for them.

I'm holding on
I'm holding on
I’m holding on
I'm barely holding on to you



A/N: So…was that okay? I know it’s sad, and at the end I ran out of steam! ^_^ Despite that, please review and tell me what you thought. Ja!