Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Homeless Harlot ❯ Peace of Mind ( Chapter 18 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Sasuke thinks quietly for a moment. Should he tell? What would come of it? How would Lee react? Not well, he'd suspected. Not to mention, what will he gain if he does tell his friend what he'd done and the reason why he'd done it? Taking a seat on the bed beside Gai, Sasuke sets his book down beside his hip.

"How long have you known?" He asks instead of answering the question.

"I've suspected it on, probably, day five or six. But until reading that I couldn't really be sure." He gestures to the journal with a nod.

"Why didn't you decide, up until now, to come in here and read it?"

Gai pats his hand on the male's shoulder, leaving his arm around him. "I wanted to respect your privacy, but then it dawned on me that you haven't exactly respected mine. I now know that it was you who had sent me on that wild goose chase on Kakashi's and my anniversary. I know what you two were doing that day I had come back from working on Lee's back.... the way its written its almost as if its a confession to what you've been doing, like you maybe wanted me to see it."

Sasuke's eyes look into Gai's equally dark ones, as if looking for some shred of laughter at him, some sort of on coming assalt but when nothing came, he looks down at his lap. "You think you'd be angrier at me than you are."

"Trust me, until I read your journal, I was. I wanted to hang you out the window by your ankles and shake you until you fell on your own."

"You did it emotionally!" He snaps. "And I... I'd rather have been punched then abandoned."

"I don't fight with my fist, Sasuke, I spent my childhood being hot-blooded and all temper until the day I woke up." Removing his hand from the teen's shoulder, Gai taps the book with his index finger. "Your words reminded me of that. You need somebody to beat it out of you, show you what's to be lost in your quest to selfishly gain. That's why it had to be emotionally, it hurts the most and can only heal with self repair- if you're willing to listen to the people around trying to help and to yourself when you know its time to be helped. Emotional healing feels the best in the end, and when its honest, there are no scars."

Sasuke nods but then shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I've spent my life with the idea that I should stand up for myself, help myself, know what needs to be done and by any means get it done. I never had anyone to look out for for long, and it just suited me." Suddenly a hanging thread on the hem of his shirt caught his attention and he absently picks at it. "When you guys came along, I thought you were fucking with me. You thought it'd be cute to have me around like some project then you'd dump me off when you saw that nothing was coming from it." His hands ball into fist. "Secretly, I found it irritating. You kept giving me things, seeing to it that I had this and that and all the while no one could give me an answer other than, you can't see me out on the streets. What have I done differently then any other homeless person than be young in age?" Frowning he looks at Gai who's on the verge of tears it seemed. "Dammit, I'm not some brat that's weak and needs protection. I didn't have anyone for a long time, and I didn't need anyone."

"You were getting sick, I could tell. You needed us, whether you're able to ask for it or not, you needed us." Gai shrugs. "Sometimes in life, you just need something that you, yourself, are unable to get alone." He wraps his arms around the male, pressing Sasuke's face into his chest keeping him in the gentlest hug he's ever given anyone.

"What made you so hot-headed back then, Gai?" Sasuke asks, voice muffled by the man's body.

"I wanted something."

"What?"

"I wanted to be accepted for being me." He snickers. "I'm a nice guy, a goofball that can't help it. All the kids treated me like there was something wrong with me because I was outgoing and it kind of hurt to have to try to put it away just to make friends- which I still couldn't no matter what I did to change. That's why I liked Kakashi so much, he was sort of the same but in the opposite effect. He wanted nothing and didn't seem to care for anyone and yet it was all given to him. I sort of hated that and it only made my temper worse, but he and I..." He laughs. "We were the best of friends. That's how our rivalry began, small things moving into bigger things and from that came our relationship and we've been together since. I can say my strange behavior rubbed off on him in some way and his aloof, cool ways have sort of hit me. That's why I can't seem to bring myself to want to hate you, or physically hurt you."

"Because of Kakashi?"

"Because of what I learned in my life. You're still growing up, and no matter how grown you act, you're still just a young boy." Gai releases him from his hug. "You need a bit of screw up before you can truly stand up."

Sasuke shakes with quiet laughter. "Gai, you're so square."

"I know." He smiles. "But maybe you can answer something for me, now."

Sasuke only blinks.

"How did this little crush come about? It wasn't anything Kakashi was doing because when I told him about it he seemed surprised to hear it." He again nods to the book. "Its the only thing not written down."

Sasuke's cheeks began to heat. Thinking about his reason now, it all seemed so stupid. Taking a quick breath he releases it and says. "It was before the news years party, that I started feeling attracted to him. I..." He shrugs. "I saw him naked getting out of the shower."

"So you had seen him?"

"Yeah. And then at Asuma's party when you came in to kiss my cheek, I turned my head because I thought it was kids stuff but you kissed me anyway and pushed me into Kakashi. I didn't even see him coming, I had my eyes closed, and we kissed."

Gai seemed to take that in for a moment, a slow smile crept onto his face before he began to laugh. "And I'm the one who brought Kakashi's attention to your little crush on him, which makes it all my fault!" He laughs a little harder.

Sasuke didn't understand how that was funny, but it made him smile to see Gai smiling again- smiling at him, really because he has smiled dropping it suddenly when he would come into the room. All that, hurt more than Sasuke ever thought it would. And he's glad the man is so forgiving towards him. He just hoped that Lee will be the same way. Naruto was another lucky shot when it came to forgiveness but then he had lied to him to keep it there, so he probably should aplogize to him too. Damn it all.

"So you guys will stop treating me like I'm invisible?" He asks when Gai's laughter calms.

Nodding, the man stands. "So long as you keep your word to tell Lee."

"I was hoping I was off the hook for that." He stands as well.

"Nooo, Sasuke. You need to learn this lesson. You'll breathe easier for it." Wrapping an arm around him, he steers him towards the door and down the stairs. "Let's have something to eat."

"I can't. Lee is in the woods camping with the others, so if I'm going to tell him it may as well be now. Besides, I have something to say to Naruto as well." He frees himself from the man's hold. "I'll be back later." Slipping his feet into his sneakers he opens the front door.

"Alright. And no short cuts." He calls after the male before he exits. Smiling he thinks. 'That boy is going to be all right.'

...................

"Did you find out where Sasuke lives?" Asks Itachi taking a seat at the booth Naruto is seated in.

"Aheeee.... I'm sorry, but I sort of lied to you guys. I wasn't sure if you were weirdos or not so I had to wait around until I knew more." Naruto clamped his eyes shut waiting for the shout or the punch in the face, cracking them open when it didn't come. "But I believe you guys now! I mean, sort of... Sasuke said that his brother is dead and, he couldn't really describe you because he said that he forgot."

"Just tell me where my brother is!" He slams his fist onto the table top.

Panicked Naruto mutters. "Now you're getting it, uuuhh, can you tell me something about Sasuke that only his brother would know?"

Itachi's sharp eye twitched in agitation, but taking a calming breath he relaxed his bubbling temper. He'd never get answers snapping at the child. "The back of his leg, there's a birthmark there." Itachi adds. "And the back of his hairline has a scar, just below it from when he fell on a piece of glass after falling out of a tree."

"Wow, that's specific!" Impressed Naruto nods to himself. "Yeah, he's got that birthmark, alright. I've never seen any scar."

"I'm surprised you've seen the birthmark, nn." Says the friend of Sasuke's brother.

"Well, we sort of dated for a while." He says quietly. He thought the pain from that was gone but it still lingered a bit. "Sasuke said that he had to aplogize for something, so he's probably still at home right now." Standing, he starts for the door. "You can follow me there."

The two leave the table after the child.

"We'll take my car so we get there faster." Says Deidara.

"I'd rather walk with strangers than get in the car with them."

"You think we'd be looking this hard for Sasuke if we were sickos looking to snatch just any kid?" He grabs the boy by the back of his shirt. "Now get it!" He shoves him into the backseat of the car, closing the door.

................

Sasuke found the group in the center of the woods, still setting up the campsite. The small group turned their heads looking at him. He would have said something right off the bat but he'd ran the entire way, and is trying to catch his breath while pacing over to Lee, grabbing him by the wrist, pulling him away from the others. If he's going to confess anything, he'd rather do it to that person alone than the entire group.

"Sasuke, what is it?" Lee wonders then looks around. "Is someone chasing you?" He asks seeing that the male is out of breath, but Sasuke shakes his head. "Then what?"

"I have..." He felt his throat close up to keep the words in, and he instead asks. "Where's Naruto?"

"Naruto?" Lee blinks. "He said he had to do something and took off, but he'll be back later."

Nodding, he straightens from the slight hunch his exhaustion gave him. "I have to tell you something that you probably won't like hearing."

Lee's thick brows knit together in wonder of this information.

"Lee... before, when you hurt you back... I, sort of did it on purpose."

Lee is very still as if he hadn't understood what was just told to him. "You made me fall and hurt my back? That's impossible, we were just being stupid. I'm the one who-..."

"I did it! I planned the whole thing!" He found himself shouting on accident. "I wanted time alone with Kakashi because he and I have been- sleeping together." He swallowed hard saying that, like the words would go back in and not have come out, but it was too late. "Gai was at home all the time and I sort of thought that maybe if he had a reason to leave the house we could be alone again but he had a teachers meeting so I changed my mind. But I planned to push you down the hill, only I couldn't get the nerve to do it so I made up this stupid game and everything just sort of fell into place after that."

"You, and Kakashi-san? You... meant to push me." It looked as if something inside of Lee had broken, and his fist ball up.

The others had gathered around behind them when they heard Sasuke shouting, they thought the two were fighting over something but they had not expected to hear what they'd just heard. He and Hatake Kakashi are sleeping together!

"It was really stupid and I really didn't want to hurt you, but... I don't know. I was fucked up. I made a mistake and I'm really sorry, for tricking you and hurting you."

Lee's gaze lowers to the ground. "I can forgive you for tricking me, Sasuke, but I... I can never forgive you for getting me hurt! You could have left me crippled for life! And all for what?! So you can sleep with your teacher! What kind of monster are you?!"

"Lee." Neji says his name to try calming the rage brewing inside his best friend.

Shaking away the blurring red coming over his vision he turns away. "I'm going home. I can't trust myself right now." He starts away then stops. "And one more thing,"

When Sasuke looked up, black was the first thing he saw before an angered Lee stomped from the forest, leaving him crumpled to the ground.

"I can't say that I don't agree with what Lee said, Sasuke." Neji comes up behind the male, lifting him from under his arms so that he's standing. "But I can tell you from experience that he'll cool off. If you still want his friendship, that is." With that Neji followed after his fuming friend.

"If you ask me you screwed up big time, Sasuke." Kiba chimes in. "Is that why Naruto was so mad at you before? What an ass you are to do that to someone who cares about you." He starts out of the woods after Lee and Neji.

Shikamaru glared at Sasuke, saying nothing before he chose to leave.

Sasuke looked like a dog, kicked by his master for having done nothing, though he has done quite a lot. He came into these peoples lives and randomly broke the bond they worked so hard for him to take. He's messed up more than he's realized. Lee was right, it was all for Kakashi and now where are the two of them? They're nothing and the relationship he wanted with him will be non-existant.

"It would be better if you stayed away from us for just a while, Sasuke." Says Shino. "I don't hold a grudge against you, I just know its what every one needs right now." He places a comforting hand to Sasuke's shoulder before walking away leaving the male all alone.

* * * * *

Deidara drove up to the house where Sasuke is living, parking by the sidewalk rather than the driveway. "This place doesn't look so bad."

Nodding, Naruto climbs out. "I think you should wait here, I have to make sure that Gai-san and Kakashi-sensei don't mind guest."

"What difference does it make if they mind?" Getting out of the car, Itachi didn't wait to follow the blond up to the door.

Naruto darts by just when Itachi is a step or two away from the door. "I've got it!" He knocks quickly. "You're very pushy for an older sibling." He mutters under his breath. "Although, I can see why, if my brother were missing and thought I was dea-..." His words are cut short when the front door opens.

"Naruto! I haven't seen you in a while? How are you?"

"I'm great!" He grins widely. "How are you? I heard you broke some things last month and-..." He sees that Gai is no longer looking at him but passed him to the two strangers.

"Hello." He says to them. Right away he notices that the dark haired male looks a lot like Sasuke. Could be a missing relative? A cousin? "Come in." He steps away from the door.

Itachi looks around the home as he steps inside. So his brother has been living in a place like this; with a man like that. This Gai seems harmless enough. "Where is Sasuke?" He finds himself asking, not taking the offered seat that Gai had pointed to.

"Sasuke's not here, he went out to the woods with some friends but he should be back soon." Gai takes a seat. "Can I ask whom you are to him?" His fatherly tone towards the teen shows strongly. "I'm assuming a relative."

"I am Uchiha Itachi, Sasuke's older brother."

"His brother?!" Gai's eyes widen as if he's doing an impersonation of Rock Lee. "But, Sasuke told us that his brother had died from the cold."

"Sasuke was mistaken."

Itachi tells Gai his story, of where he's been and how he found out that Sasuke is still alive; Gai was a teary mess by the end of it. He was always a sucker for a dramatic story that would end happily.

"I've come to take him to the apartment where I'm staying with, Deidara."

The blond smiles as if to say that his friend is referring to him.

"That's fantastic, but, its really Sasuke's call. He's quite happy living here with us. It hasn't been long, but he's in school and doing wonderful. He joined the swim team, he's even made top honors at the end of the year, and has many friends."

It was Naruto's turn to smile, proud of the title at the moment. Sasuke was definitely not an easy friend, but regardless he was still a very good friend and he hoped that when he went away with his brother they could remain that way.

"Your brother is a very bright and wonderful youngman, you'll be very proud of him."

"I'm always proud of him."

Gai nods. "I can ask that you stay here and wait for him. No sense in running off to the woods when he may already be on his way back."

"Thank you." He takes a seat next to Deidara on the couch.

"I can go get Sasuke." Volunteers Naruto, standing from his seat on the arm of the couch, fist clenched ready for the task.

"If you want." Gai replies.

"Alright. I'll be back in twenty minutes- time me!" He opens the front door hurrying out.

The room is silent for a moment, but Gai decides to speak up. "You're probably wondering how Sasuke ended up with a guys like me and my husband, its a funny story actually. Kakashi, that's my husband, we were coming home from a date night and heard a sneeze. I told the sneezer "bless you" or something like that and it was Sasuke. He was sitting in a box looking to be on the brink of hypothermia so I gave him my coat along with our leftovers. Neither of us thought we'd see him again but the next day we bumped into the boy and my husband sort of took him around with him- to a book store, I think it was..." He trails off thoughtfully for a moment then shakes his head. "Either way, tuttoring around with Kakashi got his, uh... his living space taken from him by another gentleman on the street and so he was invited to stay with us."

"That was very nice of you."

"I fix postures for a living," He shrugs. "My husband teachers reading at the school Sasuke attends." Feeling his conversation lagging on the subject he clears his throat. "Would either of you like something to eat or drink? We have juice, protein and soda- I think."

"No, thank you."

"Nothing for me."

"Well this could get awkward then." He mutters to himself. "Do either of you watch that drama 'Holding onto Broken Shoulders'?"

....................

Sasuke is walking home, head low, spirit shot. He had honestly expected that to go a lot better than it had. A simple 'no hard feelings' or somehing like that. It was gonna be a pretty dull summer with everyone mad at him. Hearing a car horn, he doesn't turn to it until a third honk. Seeing that its Kakashi behind the wheel- or just barely with the light shifted over the windshield, he stops in his tracks. The window rolls down; music is playing softly from the radio.

"Are you going home?" Asks the teen pulling open the door. He hoped that Gai had called Kakashi to tell the man that their game of 'ignore the homewrecker' was over and he can go back to being nice to him, otherwise, Kakashi will likely drive away before he can get in- door open and all, so long as the child isn't with him.

"Not right away, get in."

Climbing into the car he closes the door, then pulls the seatbelt over.

The silent drive took the two of them to the park. Sasuke figured they'd get out but instead Kakashi pulled the lever on the side of his seat lowering it to laying back, going down with it. Doing the same, Sasuke stares out of the sun roof into the coming evening sky. The radio is playing something instrumental, with trumpets and drums; it isn't loud enough to be a bother to them just enough for you to make out an idea of what's being played.

"Gai's forgiven me." Sasuke mentions softly.

"Gai's always forgiven you, have you forgiven you?"

"I know enough that I'll never do it again."

"Mmm. Then I guess you have."

"Have you?"

"I forgive you- still mad at myself, though."

"You shouldn't be, it was both of our fault, though, Gai seems to think that its his somehow." He side-eyes the man.

"Gai's always been weird like that."

"He said he put the idea in your head."

"But I kept it there, even now my pulse is racing being alone with you." He snickers. "Its bullshit. Am I that old that I feel like I'm missing a thrill of somekind? That's so-.."

"Juvenile?"

Smiling at the use of the word, the man says. "Yeah."

Shoving Kakashi on the side of his head, he snickers. "Don't be so full of yourself; we're all allowed one infant moment in our lives."

Shoving the teen back he smiles knowing where the words came from. Which is funny because Gai has got to have more infant moments than anyone he's ever met, but then again, some people never drain of their youthful personalities.

"I'm sorry we missed two of your swim meets."

"So am I." He looks back out the sun roof. "I won every match."

"I knew you would."

They're quiet for a bit, listening to the music that's changed to something with violins and a flute maybe some other instrument but its hard to say.

"I... don't have to stay with you guys if its uncomfortable for you." He says half-heartedly, hoping that Kakashi asks him to stay. He doesn't want to live on his own again, whether he has a home or not; these months with Gai and Kakashi have changed him in good ways and bad, but one thing that's remained is that he likes their company. He likes listening to Gai or joining him, now that school's out, watching drama's and having a snack with it, or doing something sporty like baseball with one man teams. He likes being with Kakashi like shopping or sitting around in his office reading while he reads or does something else, they've played checkers from time to time. Giving all that up is a frightening thought, especially after getting a taste of it for a month.

"No. I want you to stay. You're good to have around- even before we started fooling around with each other." Kakashi sighs, then leans slightly on his side, hand out. "Friends?"

"Friends." Shaking the offered hand, he adjusts his seat back to upright. "And, I'm sorry for tricking you."

"I'm sorry for going along with it and snapping your little twig sense of right and wrong." He adjust his seat as well; sticking the key in the ignition he smiles seeing the pissy look on the male's face.

"You still know how to tick me off."

"Oh it'll only get worse from here on out now that we're just friends again." He laughs at the boys scoff.

The car moves away from the park heading back for their home. They're half way there when they spot the blond watching the car before he waves his arms, in their passing, for them to stop.

"Sasuke." He opens the car door beside the male. "You gotta get home. You won't believe what's waiting for you."

"It wouldn't be a surprise party, because I told you my birthday is in July." Comments Sasuke, pressing the unlock button for the back door.

"No. But can I get a lift?" He's already climbing in.

The ex-lovers look at each other and shrug. Who could really tell with Naruto. Heading back down the road, the headlights come on.

..............

"Its a perfect likeness of me." Gai marvels at the drawing that Sasuke's brother's friend drew of him. "You really captured my strong jawline." He puts his hand up to said jaw as if to show off its sharpness.

"I thought so too." Replies Deidara glad that someone likes his 2 dimentional art.

"Maybe Sasuke has a cellphone?" Asks Itachi after what felt like hours of listening to the two men converse about absolutely nothing.

"Cellphone?" Gai looks passed the blond seeing the car pull in. "There's Kakashi." He points out. Seeing the passanger side open, he adds. "And he's got Sasuke and Naruto with him."

Gai almost wanted to tell Itachi to run and hide so it could be like a surprise but he knew the intensely quiet male wouldn't go for something like that and settled for just standing back to watch the scene play out. It really is good that Sasuke's brother would like for his younger brother to live with him. Family should stick together, and even though he'll miss Sasuke, he's not upset with the outcome. It saves them the trouble of the awkward verbal aftermath. He's always said you can play with a man for days, but words speak louder than actions because fun is fun, but you're lips can let no true emotion lie. Plus, Sasuke can always visit.

"Hurry up!" Naruto can be heard through the door right before he swings it open.

"Why are you so excited? If there's some sort of party in here, I'm gonna-...." His eyes nearly fall from his head when seeing his older brother stand from his seat on the couch. How is it possible? Can other people see him? Is he dreaming? Did Lee's punch knock him out cold and he's actually laid out in the woods.

"Sasuke." His brother's voice nearly broke his name it held back so many tears.

"Itachi."

Kakashi slipped in behind the teen and over to his husband, who's beaming at the two. "I thought his brother was dead?" He asks in whisper so not to disrupt the scene.

"It seems he's not."

"And the blond?"

"He's Itachi's friend, and a really good artist." He holds up the drawing.

Kakashi's brows furrow over the sight of a racoon kicking a soccer ball from its chin that he's assuming is... Gai, maybe.

It seemed neither of the brothers knew what to do beyond stare at one another. It was Naruto's verbal, dramatic weeping that broke the silence.

"I thought you were dead."

"I thought that you were dead." Itachi replies.

Feeling a shove before he felt his feet move, Sasuke walks into his brother's embrace; the sting of tears very apparent in his eyes. He can feel years falling from him the firmer his brother's hold became. He's alive and he's here. In his new home... with his new family.

"Sasuke," Naruto touches his friend's shoulder. "does this mean that you're gonna live with your brother now?"

Epilog:

Sasuke, now age 19, shoves a letter into the mailbox for pick-up. He's been writing letters back and forth to Gai and Kakashi, and some of his other friends that can't visit as often as others can. He likes living in an apartment with his brother, not that he didn't enjoy living with Gai and Kakashi when he did, but with Itachi he felt less pressure on him, though, he still can't figure out where the pressure was coming from. The two long since left Deidara's place and moved to Mist where they've got a very comfortable life of working in a packing factory while Sasuke goes to school to become a chyropractor. Sasuke spent every birthday back in Konoha with his friends and his former roommates, everything with the two of them is going well, although the first time they'd gone to visit Kakashi looked a little green mentioning something about Gai's mother but he didn't get into details when his lover asked what he'd been talking about.

Lee had forgiven him, and apologized for socking him, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Kakashi. As for his relationship status, he and Naruto are trying for a long distance thing. Lee says that he and his boyfriend Gaara like it, so maybe he could like it too. As of today he's got a date planned out with Naruto, they're gonna sit at home, on their cellphones and watch a movie together. He never did figure out why he wanted Kakashi so badly, maybe it was the intimacy more than the man but either way he didn't miss it... all that much. He wouldn't want them broken up, but if he ever saw that Kakashi was single one day, he would ask the man if he ever thought of him.