Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ice Picks and Hand Grenades ❯ Cardboard Wings ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Damn the man, save the empire!

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Cardboard Wings

I feel hot. My head hurts. Fuck. Dammit. I drank too much. Fuck. This sucks. I wanna stab somebody. Don't care who. I hate drinking. I hate fucking hangovers.

Dammit, where'd my shirt go? Fuck. Troublesome piece of--at least my pants are still on... they are on, aren't they? My hand wanders curiously to my waist. Yeah. Pants. Check. That's good.

Wait... where am I? The smell is off. The air is thick with other people, there's no way this is my place. Which means...

Hell, I'm almost afraid to open my eyes.

"Shikamaru?" A feminine voice whispers from beside me, the futon below my leg shifting ever so slightly. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

"He's still asleep." A second female voice chides. W-wait... two? What was I doing last night? Gods...

"No, look! His eyebrow just twitched!" The first voice... dammit I know that voice. Maybe--is that? Can't be...

"You're right!"

Man, I'm gonna do something I'm almost certain I'm gonna regret. I turn my head toward the voices, and slowly crack open a single eye. Fuck. I knew it. Kill me.

Temari grins brightly, blinding me with her uncharacteristic exuberance. She's not wearing much, either... in fact, all she's wearing is her sheet. Not like it's something I haven't seen before... but shit. Don't wanna see it now. Not in the fucking mood. Sitting beside her,and equally as naked, is a half flustered Tenten, her hair down and her arms wrapped securely around the other girl.

Fucking hell. I have too much of a hangover for this to be hot.

"Morning, sunshine." Tenten says in a teasing tone of voice.

"Fuck." I slip, burying my face back into my pillow... err

...that's not a pillow.

No, in fact... that's a Kiba. In a moments shock, I swear my heart stopped beating. Damn, at first, his shirt felt suspiciously like a pillow. He shifts a little beneath me with a moan, his right arm pulling me closer in sleep. Well... I suppose compared to what I woke up next to, this is the lesser of two evils... I turn my head back toward Temari and Tenten and give them my best scowl.

"What?" Temari releases a small laugh, pulling her girlfriend on her lap, possessively. "You're the one who crashed right away. I thought we were finally gonna get that foursome you promised me."

I growl into Kiba's chest, "I never promised you anything, you were just so shitfaced you heard what you wanted to."

Tenten shakes her head, a smile floating happily on her lips,"You really don't remember, do you? You got pretty smashed last night, Shikamaru-kun."

"I don't remember? What the fuck did I say?" Kiba shifts again, and I'm starting to worry he might wake up...

"I think it was after Kiba popped up behind us a proclaimed his love of men with dark hair."

That stupid pixie looking face, eyes rolled upward in sarcastic wonder. I wanna punch her lights out. Or anything violent at all would be just fine. I'm almost willing to ignore my little rule of not hitting women. My head hurts, my body hurts... fuck, my pride hurts. Or what's left of it. Maybe I'd be better off just curling in a corner and dying. "That sounds like bullshit."

She laughs again. "You didn't think so when he was all over you. But it's kind of suspicious, don't you think?"

Temari suddenly butts in, her chin resting comfortably on the younger woman's shoulder. "Yeah, when you figure eighty percent of the shinobi in the room had brown or black hair."

The two girls turn to each other, almost as if they've simultaneously come to an important conclusion. Tenten puts a hand up to her mouth as she starts to speak very quietly. "Oh, that's right. He did, didn't he?" They're not getting a rise out of me. They've been fucking planning this all night. I can tell. It's fake, it's annoying, and it's grating on my nerves... but maybe that's the hangover talking. Fuck it! What's the fucking difference? "You mean when Sasuke and Kiba were making out and nearly screwing in the corner? Man, Naruto sure did seem jealous, ne?"

Making out, eh? I could see that, Kiba pinning Sasuke to the wall, Sasuke taking a handful of Kiba's hair and kissing him agressively... Kiba grinding his hips into the shorter boy... err... I suppose I should stop there... I sit up carefully, shifting my weight off of the sleeping man in such a way he shouldn't awaken. "I'm leaving. Don't you dare wake up Kiba."

Temari wrinkles her nose, letting her pouting lip shift cockeyed. "Oh, come on Shishi-kun."

Refusing to respond one way or the other to that horribly demeaning nickname, I carefully rise to my feet, pulling what I can of the sheet over Kiba's still fully clothed body. "I said don't." Temari shifts again, letting her chakra flare in mild anger. After throwing my shirt on, carelessly I thrust my hands into my pockets, rather disappointed when I find them empty. "Temari, what happened to my cigarettes?"

"I dunno." She furrows her brow. "I didn't take 'em."

"Then give me one of yours."

"I quit." She rolls her eyes.

"No you didn't."

"Fine, they're on the dresser. But don't mess with anything or I'll cut your fingers off."

I scoff, turning toward said dresser. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Shut up, Nara."

Well, it turns out there wasn't much to mess with on the dresser anyway. Just a framed photograph of Tenten's old team, a pair of kunai, cigarettes, a lighter, a small frilly teddy bear and a second framed photograph, this time depicting Tenten and Temari in matching short/bikini top combos with their arms linked around each other, happily. I shrug in my head and pick a single cigarette from the pack. And that's right, I lost my lighter, so I snatch that up too, leaving everything else untouched.

I contemplate saying something, think better of it, and make my way back across the room. The eyes of both girls follow me, nearly burning holes in my back, but it doesn't really bother me. I slide open the ricepaper door leading out toward the balcony, step out, and close it sharply behind me.

I push my cigarette to the left corner of my mouth to avoid chewing on the tip and finaly light it after five patience trying flicks. Dammit, I really needed a smoke. I exhale heavily and gaze outward at the rooftops of Konoha, resting my aching arms against the balcony.

My voice comes out wispy like words carried on the edge of a sigh. "Sasuke, huh? You sure have awkward tastes, Kiba."

Hn. And people call it crazy when you talk to yourself. But maybe I am crazy. Who knows. It sure would explain a lot.

Setting Temari's lighter down beside a pot with an interesting array of small cactuses, I hesitantly throw myself over the railing, landing on the ground one floor down with considerable grace. But shit... it still hurts. Like my legs are on fire. Whatever. I can handle it. I find I can handle most anything, no matter how troublesome it may be.

...but I can't handle everything. Nobody can. So when I feel my heart wrenching painfully in my chest, I know what it means. It means I can't handle you. Couldn't handle you if I wanted to. I can't shut you out, I can't ignore you... hell, I can't even drink you out of my life.

Kiba... you're too much for me, you know that?

Even the smartest people make mistakes, sometimes. And, I dunno... maybe my mistake was thinking I could walk away. Maybe it was crossing paths with something I couldn't control. Hell, maybe it was as simple as deciding to take a break. I seriously couldn't tell you. All I know is that somewhere down the line a mistake was made, and I don't know how to fix it. I've never been good with personal issues, never been able to read underneath people's feelings, let alone my own. But it's a widely known fact that keeping yourself busy devoids your mind of thought. And right now... that's exactly what I need.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"Shikamaru-kun, you wanted to see me?"

I glance pensively at the heavy-chested woman across the desk. I'm sure about this. I know I am. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Okay, then. Spill it. The Hokage is a very busy woman, you know." Did I just detect a slight tarnish in the Hokage's cheery disposition? Hmm.

"I'd like for you to assign me a mission. Preferably a long one, so I can get out of the city for a while."

She smirks, resting her cheek wearily on the closed knuckles of her left hand. "So soon after surgery? Aren't you a trooper. But out of town, Shikamaru? I've heard gossip that you've been quite the active bit of this and that since you got back on your feet. You sure you want to leave all of that so soon?"

"On the contrary, Tsunade-sama..." I rake a lazy hand behind my ear. "That kind of thing I'm trying to get away from. It's so--""Troublesome, yes?" She smiles brightly. "Well, anyway, I suppose I can grant your request. I have a stack of A-Class missions that need to be taken care of, one or two specifically calling for strategic maneuver."

"But Hokage-sama, I'm a Chuunin, and--"

"And do you want a mission or not? My only other strategists are off on their own missions, already. What do you want me to do? Send Naruto? Gods know he couldn't strategize himself out of a wet paper bag." She frowns, her eyes grating into me. "Take it or leave it, Nara Shikamaru."

I let out a heavy sigh, resting my hand on my hip. "Troublesome... fine, whatever!"

"Good good." She pulls a paper off of a moderately towering stack and starts scribbling away, my presence not forgotten, but inevitably ignored for a few moments. "Here you go."

And there's that big unmistakable "A" etched in red marker. I can feel my lip pulling downwards. Well, I was the one who said I wanted a long mission. This one is marked at two weeks, traveling both ways from Wave Country and mission time. That means it will probably take three. It's also marked "strategic reconaissance"... in other words, pain in the ass. I guess I'll look through the details later, but what I've already read is enough to give me a mild aneurysm. I was hoping for a routine assassination or a staking operation.

"I'll assign you a team just in case things go wrong. Though..." She pauses for a long, uncomfortable moment, her eyes tracing a big circle across the cieling. "I can't think of anybody off the top of my head. I'll get back to you on that one."

Which leaves me wondering: how much does she know? Or more likely yet, who is she gonna ream for information the second I walk out the door? I'm sure I don't wanna know, either way. Who the hell knows what kind of gossip is floating around. I'm sure if it bothers me too much I can go ask Ino. That woman spills like a jar of beans. Well... about most stuff. Gossip, most definitely. Either way, I'm hoping like hell the Hokage doesn't catch wind. All I need is some old lady trying to school me on love life. Yeah, that and half a dozen ulcers.

o.o.o.o.o.o.

Finally. It's been two mind numbing days of monotony and avoiding everyone I know since I recieved my mission from the Hokage. Waiting here at the edge of Konohagakure fully armed and supplied has never seemed so relieving.

Even better than this strange sense of relief is the fact I've actually been set up with seemingly reliable people for this mission. The only person here when I arrived was Lee, who's reliable enough. Other than that, he briefly described the other two jounins we're currently waiting for. Tsuzumi Taro, a medical nin, and Ryouken Sudoko, a former Anbu tracking kunoichi. Though I've never met either of them, Lee has nothing bad to say, and I'm far too lazy to do anything but trust his word.

o.o.o..oo.o.o.

Today is a load of my shoulders.

Holy hell, I feel emancipated. No worries, no need to rush or work too hard. They say you don't appreciate what you have until it's taken away from you. That's a load of bull. The truth is you don't know what's gone until you've got it back. All the way to this little middle of nowhere city has been a laid back stroll, nothing like what one imagines when envisioning an A rank mission. Well, I mean, beside having to pull the reigns on Lee every now and then. That kid takes hyper to a whole new level.

I feel like I could watch the clouds again, and maybe I can smile without a headache.

This mission was a blessing in disguise, let me tell you. It feels strange to be out and about in civilian clothes, armor and weapons carefully concealed from the casual onlooker, but at the same time I couldn't appreciate anything more. The way townspeople smile as you pass... it's nothing like home. The people of Konoha aren't cold, per se, but it's definitely hard to walk around and recieve smiles when people know you're a lazy ass good for nothing of a ninja.

And that really cute girl we just passed, how she turned a dozen shades of red when I returned her smile, damn!

"Do we want to hit the hotel now?" Taro asks, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks to turn gaze toward myself and the two jounin.

"I'm not even tired yet!" Lee proclaims, as though he can't speak in anything other than exclaimation marks.

"You wouldn't be." I whisper under my breath. "But we should find some place to check in even if it's not time to call it a night. This is the last town until wave country. We should make the best of it and stay in a bed for one last night."

The med nin ahead of us nods, enthusiastically. "Let's go."

Taking a sideways glance at Lee, all I can do is chuckle inwardly at his plight. Nowadays he even chants about youth under his breath. I guess it's a creative alternative to cursing... or maybe he's just Lee and there's no point in questioning it.

Yeah. It's probably the latter.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Yeah, if anyone was wondering where in the hell the whole TemariXTenten thing is from, well... for some reason I've always liked Temari yuri (is it so wrong?)and I came across it when looking around for other ShikaXKiba fics. It was in a foursome piece that was actually quite yummy. And now that I think about it, the whole Temari+yuri=happiness thing is probably one of the several reasons I detest ShikaXTemari so much.

I love Shikamaru yaoi. I can't help it. ShikaXKiba is my favorite, but just about any yaoi with him in it seems to rock my socks.


NEXT TIME:

People say many optimistic things. And whether or not the glass is half empty or half full, it all really comes down to believing. Some believe in fate, some believe in superstition, and others yet believe in the power and beauty of youth. How far can one go on this alone? How long can one wait before their flower bud wilts?

A flower blooms in Konoha... but not for the first time.