Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ice Picks and Hand Grenades ❯ Take This Life ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: The characters might not be mine, but their pain sure as hell is.
A/N: When I went to post this chap I had one of those ‘oh shit’ moments where I reread the chapter and it was a piece of crap. So I took some extra time to edit. It’s not much better, but it’s better.
Chapter Twenty: Take this life
My path takes me far enough from the campsite that my nerves stop jumping as badly. I don’t know what it means, but I want it to stop, it’s not going to stop. Fuck I hate this…
And when I stop I swing my upper body toward my stalker, unfocused in the darkness, but I don’t care. “Did you really?” I say sharply and accusingly. Hypocritical I know, but fuck it.
“Did I what?” Kiba says innocently, blinking repeatedly like a lost puppy.
“Nevermind.” I mumble. I pull my bedroll from my pack, and draping it out lazily over the ground I let out a heavy sigh. Kiba, for some reason, rolls onto my bedding as if I put it there for him. I almost want to kick him off, as irrational as the feeling is.
“C’mon, Shika. You start it, you finish it.”
I raise a brow and sigh, crossing my arms. “Why are you following me, anyway?” I gaze at him flatly, and if I can will him away from my sleeping place with just my eyes, by the gods I’m gonna do it.
“You’re sure angry. What do you think I did?”
“That came out presumptuous.”
“Presu-what?” Kiba suddenly props himself up.
“Let me rephrase my question. What’s Temari so happy for?”
Kiba pauses for a moment before finally the question’s unspoken meaning clicks. “What? NO!”
“Then wha-“
“No! If she was going after anybody, it would be you!” He coughs. “Besides, I don’t like blondes.”
I smile deviously. “That’s right. You love dark haired men, according to what I heard.”
He flushes bright red. Oh yes, he remembers. “Who told you about that?”
“Who do you think? It’s all right, though. The imagery is pretty hot.”
He groans. “I’m never getting wasted ever fucking again.”
“That makes two of us.”
He blinks. “Why? What did you do?”
I sigh deeply again, letting my arms drop to my sides. “That’s just it, I don’t remember. I just woke up in a bad position the next morning.”
“Really? That makes me feel real good.” He frowns, hard. “Didn’t think waking up with me would’ve been that bad.”
Does he sound hurt? Fuck. “You do recall Temari and Tenten naked in the same bed, don’t you?”
“Yeah? Well what does that have to do with anything? They had their fun, you crashed out and that was it!”
I look at him with interest. “You mean you remember? What happened?”
“I told you.” He says with a hint of anger. “Yeah, so maybe it was kinda, I dunno, selfish of me to pull you away when I thought you were gonna go off with some random stranger at the bar, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I thought you might regret it, so yeah, I pulled you along and followed the girls to the room… but fuck. I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
“Forget about it.” I say with a sigh. “The whole night was a fucking mistake anyway.”
“I don’t fucking get you!” He snaps. And as for me, I just know that the curiosity bubbling up from inside me is hitting me right in the face. “One moment it seems like you’re into me and the next it’s like you hate my fucking guts!”
“Kiba-“
“No!” He snaps. “That night you were begging me to fuck you and the next morning you just ran off!”
“I did what?”
Kiba drops his hands. “It’s been like that ever since. And yeah, you begged me, gave me that pouty look that I admit was really hard to resist, but even though I was coming down you were still smashed, and there was no way I could just take advantage of you like that!” He looks down, staring holes into the ground. “I wish I could understand, even a little, but I guess I’m just not that smart.” Just before I tell him to calm down I stop myself. I guess everyone was right. I drop down to a sitting position and direct my eyes to the ground. What am I supposed to say or do here? I’m drawing a blank. There’s so much here that I… just can’t think. “Maybe I should go…” he whispers, just loud enough to hear.
“Kiba, wait.” And he does. “Tell me, what do I want?”
“I can’t read minds.” He confesses. “You’re the only one who can figure that out.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” I sigh heavily.
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, then. If you were me, I’d just tell you to stop thinking and just follow your gut, but it’s pretty obvious you’re not me. You just gotta keep with your strengths I guess.” He stands slowly. “And when you figure out what you want, make sure you get it, so at least someone will.”
When he pulls to leave my hand reaches out to his pant leg. “Kiba…” He looks down at me and suddenly I feel very small and insignificant. “You can stay, if you want to.”
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
I can’t remember what happened first, the bucket of water being dumped over my head or my waking up, but if one came after the other it was in such short succession that it felt simultaneous.
“That’s what you get, bastard!” Kankuro shouts, slinging the bucket over his shoulder… but shit. What did I do? And then I remember who’s lying next to me. Great. I’m collateral damage. I just continue to lie there, sopping wet. What good is standing up going to do for me anyway? Knowing my luck and my companions, I’d be in for an unintentional ass kicking. Yeah, so I stiffen up and frown hard, but I don’t move. Kiba on the other hand pulls his arm out from underneath me and sits up, laughing like a giddy schoolgirl. Though I don’t know how you can laugh when your wakeup call is water in the face. “You little fucker! I can’t get it off!”
He grabs Kiba by the collar and tries to pull him into a hold, but Kiba ducks away, only to pull me up by my arm without consent. I’m not nearly ready to be awake, this is irritating as hell. My eyes blink into awareness just in time to duck a punch not even aimed at me. I nearly stumble over, but Kiba’s still got my arm. When he finally lets go of me he still doesn’t swing back, instead dodging each of Kankuro’s punches with graceful movements.
I fall back against a tree and start to focus my eyes. And now that I get a better look at it…
What the hell is on Kankuro’s face? Oh crap, that’s what Kiba did.
I hear a faint rustling of leaves from the back, and sure enough it heralds the end of the fight… if you can call it that. Almost immediately Temari and Naruto appear out of nowhere and restrain the infuriated puppeteer. But even after this Kiba continues to taunt until Gaara arrives, and even though the expression on his face is merely that of irritation, we all know that even that look borders on murderous. Tenten arrives following Gaara as well, but she looks more amused than anything else.
“Oh geez, Shikamaru, what happened to you?” The brunette girl nearly squeaks as she asks the question, and me, I let my shoulders drop in defeat.
I shrug, raise my hands to shoulder heighth and shake my head. “I’m all wet, what’s it look like?”
“I guess so, huh?”
Noticing a dripping strand of hair across my forehead, I flip it off to the side. “Not really an ideal start to the day, if you ask me.”
Tenten then points her finger toward Kankuro, and if I hadn’t seen the whole of the damage before, I can’t help but give in to curiosity now. I’m not modest about the turn as I take in the picture, and I have to admit, as childish as it is, it’s really pretty funny. Hard black lines drawn on Kankuro’s face form a pair of glasses, a curly mustache and scraggly beard, the typical kid thing to do to a picture of someone they don’t like. The only thing it’s missing is a pair of horns on his head and it would be perfect. But the real kicker is, how in the hell could Kankuro not wake up when that happened? Kiba’s not that stealthy I wouldn’t think. But then again, I’ve been wrong before.
Temari catches sight of her brother’s plight almost instantly after, and as she does, it looks like she’s trying pretty hard not to just bust up laughing. I let out a cough to make sure I don’t start laughing myself, though I can’t help the smile edging it’s way onto my face. Kankuro starts physically fuming, and every patch of unmarked skin starts to glow a fiery red. I mean, shit. Sure I might be sopping wet and I might look like I’m half drowned, but it doesn’t even compare to this. I’d feel bad for him if I wasn’t trying so hard to hold back my own set of chuckles.
“What’s so funny?” Naruto suddenly prods. But I suppose it’s not the dumbest statement he’s ever made. From his awkward position behind Kankuro’s arm he most likely hasn’t seen the puppeteer’s face, or even thought to look.
“It’s time to leave.” Gaara says huskily, though I doubt he means the intimidating tone. But despite that, his voice has gotten unexpectedly sexy over the years, even if he’s not my type.
But that’s right, even these days he can’t seem to sleep more than two or three hours a night, so of course he’d want to set off early.
I haven’t even picked up my shit yet, but not like I’ve had the chance. “I need five minutes.” I say, irritably.
Gaara simply looks at me with eyes that don’t mean one thing or another. “All right. Then I’m going ahead.” He turns, his back to the party. “Naruto?” And of course the blonde scurries over to him like an obedient pet.
Kankuro gives up at this point, pulling his arm from his sister’s grasp and stomping back to the main campsite in a huff. I watch him leave for a moment before turning to Kiba, who’s still wearing that stupid grin. “What did you use?”
His grin nearly drops, but only because he wasn’t expecting the diversion. “Oh, just a plain ‘ol everyday permanent marker.”
I smirk at the thought. It’s almost hard to believe. “Guess his super makeup remover isn’t so great after all.”
o.o.oo.o.o.o.o..o.oo
When your companions are ninja, often times traveling is very impersonal, and conversation is nearly nonexistent, but that’s really the way it has to be. And all this quiet time, it sure gives you the time to think, whether it’s your intention to do so or not. And me, I’m fully aware that I occasionally find myself sliding in and out of thinking fits.
My point is this.
For the last three hours I’ve engaged in hand to hand combat with my inner voice, planning out the next three months or so with such intricate detail that it almost sickens me. And I wonder how he approves of this so easily, my inner voice, that is. But I’ve always been this way, I’ve discovered. I used to plan out my life’s events years ahead of time, from marital status to ninja rank and everything in between. And now that I think on it I’ve come to the realization that doing this is completely stupid. Yeah, so I’ve gotten better about it over the years, planning only months ahead as opposed to years, but it’s still ridiculous.
The ridiculous part of it all is the fact that I don’t know how I’ll change in time. When I was thirteen I wanted a normal life and family. All that changed with one near death experience. And many near death experiences later, here I am. I know there will never be a shred of normalcy for me. Never really has been. It’s in my blood to be just plain weird. Weird people don’t lead normal lives. They lead strange lives with the occasional normal occurrence. And somehow, deep down inside, I doubt I’d be happy with normalcy anyway.
I think in reality I’ve known this since the first time I held another’s life in my hands. You can’t plan years ahead when the things that matter could disappear within mere minutes…
So maybe there are things planned in my future that I wouldn’t change for the world, like my decision to retire from teaching to fulfill an old promise to an old friend, but Kankuro was right. Life isn’t meant to be lived in a logic sequence. And well, maybe I can’t totally go the other way, but even to admit and voice this is a huge weight off my shoulders.
I think maybe, just maybe, things are beginning to fall into place. Let the pieces fall where they fit. And if Kiba is right, when the time comes, then I suppose I’ll know what I want. I’m sure that subconsciously, the decision has already been made.
Kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs
A/N: I think this was a jumpy chapter. Stopping points and chapter length can be a bitch.
NEXT TIME: Blood comes from the heart or nowhere at all. Self is unimportant. You are given only two choices. Stand. Or fall.