Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Icha Icha Consequences ❯ Icha Icha Consequences (1) ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: wishfulthinking 
Is everyone Insane?
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.15.2006 | Updated On: 07.15.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 296 | Status: Work In Progress
Is everyone Insane?
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 07.15.2006 | Updated On: 07.15.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 296 | Status: Work In Progress
Kakashi was the first person Naruto knew who fell victim to the evil book. Just remembering it was enough to send Naruto's neck into the neverland of his jacket once again. It didn't help when he realized that his wondering around had him in front of Iruka's place. He still couldn't figure out where Iruka got an advanced copy all those weeks ago, he was pretty sure that Kakashi had the only one in the area. But sure enough, that very same day as the Kakashi weirdness, Naruto walked over to see if Iruka wanted to go to the ramen stand for dinner. He knocked on the door three times without answers. He could see the light on inside so he decided to go in through the window. That was Mistake number 1.
Iruka was sitting in the main room reading something, he still didn't seem to notice Naruto. Naruto considered just leaving him to whatever he was reading but decided not too.
"hey, whatcha reading Iruka?" Mistake number 2.
Iruka sprung up, obviously just realizing Naruto was there. He quickly threw a blanket over whatever it was that had captured his interest. "Naruto, how long have you been here?"
"Oh, a few minutes. I knocked on you door but you didn't answer" He pouted. "hey, hey, what's that you were reading, you didn't even notice me sneaking in" Mistake number 2b.
Naruto tried to step around Iruka as he was asking but Iruka scooped up the book and blanket in all and cradled it against his chest. "never you mind Naruto, it's private."
"Whatever" he replied stepping back and throwing his hands up, "as long it's not that icha-icha porn"
Silence and a strong slow blush met Naruto upon mistake number 3.
"IRUKA-SENSEI! You aren't supposed to be reading that stuff, you're a teacher!"
Iruka's blush quickly turned into anger. "Not that it's any of your business, but I am allowed to read whatever I want outside of work. And for your information, this isn't porn. It's the latest volume and it's an incredible read!"
"Icha-Icha Consequences?" Naruto asked quietly, only now realizing his mistakes.
"Yes, how did you know. Have you read the other ones? I do think the earlier volumes are bit too mature for you. You will have to tell me what you think of them before you read this last one. I read the last first and I think I've done myself a disservice. But I don't want to spoil it for you. Here, have a seat, we'll order in. Ok, so first of all, what possessed you to read the first two. How much of those did you understand? How long ago did you read them?" Iruka had pushed him towards the kitchen table and turned on the overhead lights. There appeared to be a bunch of papers already on the table. He picked them up while talking and started sifting. "I'm already of thinking of adding these to the advanced life studies classes. You may of actually have done your homework in advance Naruto! Two or three years in advance, that may be a record for you." Iruka was beaming at him and had a pencil in hand. He looked ready to take notes.
"erhm, aah Iruka-sensei, I don't really want to talk about this."
"Nonsense, you already admitted to reading the more explicit volumes, which you were to young for by the way, it would be remiss of me to not explore these issues with you and help you understand what was happening. Now, how old? and how did you get them, they're not supposed to be sold to minors."
Naruto was slipping down in the chair. "a little less then a year ago. Jiraiya kinda had some copies around."
Iruka sighs, "That perverted hermit."
"EXACTLY!"
"So, they were just lying around, what possessed you to read them?"
"Well, Kakashi sensei was always reading them. I just wanted to know what it was about." Naruto was no longer able to make eye contact with Iruka "Do we have to talk about this?"
"I've already told you yes. If you were old enough to read it then you are old enough to talk about it."
"I didn't just read it" Naruto mumbled, briefly looking up.
"What was that?"
"Nothing" Naruto was glaring down at the table again but saw Iruka put the pencil and papers down.
"Naruto"
silence.
"Naruto, look at me." He crossed his arms and looked up. "What do you mean when you say you haven't just been reading?"
"I don't want to talk about this. Can't we talk about the story in the books?"
"No, I don't think we can. I think this conversation is long overdue."
"I don't think we need to talk about this at all. Everything is fine."
"Are you sleeping around Naruto?"
"What!!!! NO! What made you think that?!"
"Thank goodness. Well you said that you were doing other things, it made me worried. So what have you been doing?"
"Iruka, is this gonna be the birds and bees speech?"
"Eventually"
"Well, we can stop right now. I don't need it."
"Oh really. Well why not? Besides the fact that there is alot more to adult life then the physical birds and bees, you said you're not sexually active. How much do you understand."
silence
"Naruto, you will look me in the eye while we have this converstation. This is part of becoming an adult."
"Iiirrrruuuukkkaa. Can't we pretend I'm still a kid and I didn't read the stupid damn books."
"Naruto, this converstation will happen. Stop resisting or I will bring Tsundade over to help me."
"eww, that's just cruel. Fine, I read the stupid books but I already had the whole birds and bees thing down."
"You will need to explain how you gained that knowledge."
"haarrmmmnnststu"
"Naruto, eye contact"
"Harem No Jutsu!"
Iruka started to blush. "Oh, ah well, I had forgotten about that." He wipes some of the sweat off his forehead. "ahh, well, just because you can mimic a girl doesn't mean you fully understand..."
"Iruka-sensei. OK, I'm only going to talk about this once. If I perform the Harem No Jutsu with no more then 3 copies I can sometimes switch back to normal while maintaining the harem copies. I can't do much without them disappearing and it usually makes me a little too dizzy, but I've done enough to figure out the physical things."
silence
"Iruka-sensei? are you mad?"
"sooo lucky"
"stupid damn books stole his attention and reasoning." Naruto grumbeled as he waved his hand back and forth in front of Iruka's face.
Iruka suddenly snapped too. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to get distracted. Naruto, what you are describing is sexual activity."
"It never went that far Iruka, just some rubbing and kissing and stuff."
"Hmmm, I don't know what to say on this one. If you were expermenting with one of your classmates I would tell you to stop right away. You are not ready for the emotional stuff that goes along with the physical. But your not." Iruka scratched at this chin. "What you seem to be doing is a really elaborate form of masturbation. Naruto, I think I will just have to trust that this does not get out of hand. Don't be fooling around like that, it just doesn't seem right."
"I know Iruka-sensei, like I said, it's not that easy."
"I think that's enough talk for tonight. I want you to mention some of what you are doing to Kakashi. He may be able to help you."
"WHAT!! No Absolutely NO WAY!"
"Yes way. You don't have to tell him why you are doing it but it is a devistating stealth technique. Also, I want you to read Icha Icha Consequences when it comes out and tell me what you feel about it."
"No"
"Yes"
"No, I will not work with Kakashi and I don't need to read the new book."
"I will take great pleasure in telling Kakashi what you've been doing, or if you prefer, Jiraiya when he comes back"
"NO, I wil talk with Kakashi."
"And read the book"
"No"
"why not"
"don't need too"
"how so"
"read it already"
"bullshit"
"I did"
"When?"
"Earlier"
"Earlier when?"
"Just earlier, damnit. Do you want me to prove it. There are three main charecters that are new, Shane, Gavin and Terri. Gavin and Terri are siblings and Shane thinks he has to marry Sharron to make his family happy."
"But, but.. How did you get the book before me?"
"Jiraiya"
"how di..."
"who knows how he does anything, but he had it a few weeks ago. Can we go get something to eat now? Please?"
Iruka laughed, "sure, but this conversation isn't done yet."
Two days later Iruka gave him a bag full of condoms and lube with the warning 'don't be doing anything you shoudn't, but this is just in case.' Despite all his talk about being in the adult world, Iruka hasn't been able to make eye contact since then without blushing.
Iruka was sitting in the main room reading something, he still didn't seem to notice Naruto. Naruto considered just leaving him to whatever he was reading but decided not too.
"hey, whatcha reading Iruka?" Mistake number 2.
Iruka sprung up, obviously just realizing Naruto was there. He quickly threw a blanket over whatever it was that had captured his interest. "Naruto, how long have you been here?"
"Oh, a few minutes. I knocked on you door but you didn't answer" He pouted. "hey, hey, what's that you were reading, you didn't even notice me sneaking in" Mistake number 2b.
Naruto tried to step around Iruka as he was asking but Iruka scooped up the book and blanket in all and cradled it against his chest. "never you mind Naruto, it's private."
"Whatever" he replied stepping back and throwing his hands up, "as long it's not that icha-icha porn"
Silence and a strong slow blush met Naruto upon mistake number 3.
"IRUKA-SENSEI! You aren't supposed to be reading that stuff, you're a teacher!"
Iruka's blush quickly turned into anger. "Not that it's any of your business, but I am allowed to read whatever I want outside of work. And for your information, this isn't porn. It's the latest volume and it's an incredible read!"
"Icha-Icha Consequences?" Naruto asked quietly, only now realizing his mistakes.
"Yes, how did you know. Have you read the other ones? I do think the earlier volumes are bit too mature for you. You will have to tell me what you think of them before you read this last one. I read the last first and I think I've done myself a disservice. But I don't want to spoil it for you. Here, have a seat, we'll order in. Ok, so first of all, what possessed you to read the first two. How much of those did you understand? How long ago did you read them?" Iruka had pushed him towards the kitchen table and turned on the overhead lights. There appeared to be a bunch of papers already on the table. He picked them up while talking and started sifting. "I'm already of thinking of adding these to the advanced life studies classes. You may of actually have done your homework in advance Naruto! Two or three years in advance, that may be a record for you." Iruka was beaming at him and had a pencil in hand. He looked ready to take notes.
"erhm, aah Iruka-sensei, I don't really want to talk about this."
"Nonsense, you already admitted to reading the more explicit volumes, which you were to young for by the way, it would be remiss of me to not explore these issues with you and help you understand what was happening. Now, how old? and how did you get them, they're not supposed to be sold to minors."
Naruto was slipping down in the chair. "a little less then a year ago. Jiraiya kinda had some copies around."
Iruka sighs, "That perverted hermit."
"EXACTLY!"
"So, they were just lying around, what possessed you to read them?"
"Well, Kakashi sensei was always reading them. I just wanted to know what it was about." Naruto was no longer able to make eye contact with Iruka "Do we have to talk about this?"
"I've already told you yes. If you were old enough to read it then you are old enough to talk about it."
"I didn't just read it" Naruto mumbled, briefly looking up.
"What was that?"
"Nothing" Naruto was glaring down at the table again but saw Iruka put the pencil and papers down.
"Naruto"
silence.
"Naruto, look at me." He crossed his arms and looked up. "What do you mean when you say you haven't just been reading?"
"I don't want to talk about this. Can't we talk about the story in the books?"
"No, I don't think we can. I think this conversation is long overdue."
"I don't think we need to talk about this at all. Everything is fine."
"Are you sleeping around Naruto?"
"What!!!! NO! What made you think that?!"
"Thank goodness. Well you said that you were doing other things, it made me worried. So what have you been doing?"
"Iruka, is this gonna be the birds and bees speech?"
"Eventually"
"Well, we can stop right now. I don't need it."
"Oh really. Well why not? Besides the fact that there is alot more to adult life then the physical birds and bees, you said you're not sexually active. How much do you understand."
silence
"Naruto, you will look me in the eye while we have this converstation. This is part of becoming an adult."
"Iiirrrruuuukkkaa. Can't we pretend I'm still a kid and I didn't read the stupid damn books."
"Naruto, this converstation will happen. Stop resisting or I will bring Tsundade over to help me."
"eww, that's just cruel. Fine, I read the stupid books but I already had the whole birds and bees thing down."
"You will need to explain how you gained that knowledge."
"haarrmmmnnststu"
"Naruto, eye contact"
"Harem No Jutsu!"
Iruka started to blush. "Oh, ah well, I had forgotten about that." He wipes some of the sweat off his forehead. "ahh, well, just because you can mimic a girl doesn't mean you fully understand..."
"Iruka-sensei. OK, I'm only going to talk about this once. If I perform the Harem No Jutsu with no more then 3 copies I can sometimes switch back to normal while maintaining the harem copies. I can't do much without them disappearing and it usually makes me a little too dizzy, but I've done enough to figure out the physical things."
silence
"Iruka-sensei? are you mad?"
"sooo lucky"
"stupid damn books stole his attention and reasoning." Naruto grumbeled as he waved his hand back and forth in front of Iruka's face.
Iruka suddenly snapped too. "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to get distracted. Naruto, what you are describing is sexual activity."
"It never went that far Iruka, just some rubbing and kissing and stuff."
"Hmmm, I don't know what to say on this one. If you were expermenting with one of your classmates I would tell you to stop right away. You are not ready for the emotional stuff that goes along with the physical. But your not." Iruka scratched at this chin. "What you seem to be doing is a really elaborate form of masturbation. Naruto, I think I will just have to trust that this does not get out of hand. Don't be fooling around like that, it just doesn't seem right."
"I know Iruka-sensei, like I said, it's not that easy."
"I think that's enough talk for tonight. I want you to mention some of what you are doing to Kakashi. He may be able to help you."
"WHAT!! No Absolutely NO WAY!"
"Yes way. You don't have to tell him why you are doing it but it is a devistating stealth technique. Also, I want you to read Icha Icha Consequences when it comes out and tell me what you feel about it."
"No"
"Yes"
"No, I will not work with Kakashi and I don't need to read the new book."
"I will take great pleasure in telling Kakashi what you've been doing, or if you prefer, Jiraiya when he comes back"
"NO, I wil talk with Kakashi."
"And read the book"
"No"
"why not"
"don't need too"
"how so"
"read it already"
"bullshit"
"I did"
"When?"
"Earlier"
"Earlier when?"
"Just earlier, damnit. Do you want me to prove it. There are three main charecters that are new, Shane, Gavin and Terri. Gavin and Terri are siblings and Shane thinks he has to marry Sharron to make his family happy."
"But, but.. How did you get the book before me?"
"Jiraiya"
"how di..."
"who knows how he does anything, but he had it a few weeks ago. Can we go get something to eat now? Please?"
Iruka laughed, "sure, but this conversation isn't done yet."
Two days later Iruka gave him a bag full of condoms and lube with the warning 'don't be doing anything you shoudn't, but this is just in case.' Despite all his talk about being in the adult world, Iruka hasn't been able to make eye contact since then without blushing.