Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Icha Icha Sakura ❯ Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sakura had finally finished the book the night before and the ending had been unexpected to say the least. It had also annoyed her. How dare that perverted old man write something like that for everyone to read! It was midmorning and she was still angry as she stormed down the hallway until she had reached the door of Jiraiya's room. Hesitating for a moment, she heard a familiar voice already coming from the room and all the anger left her when she realized it was Kakashi's.

Oh god, she wasn't ready to face him yet. She collapsed against the wall outside the room, forcing her chakra levels down to an unnoticeable level, hopefully hiding her presence from the two men in the room.

She definitely wasn't ready to face her old sensei yet. The things that book had her thinking about him had made it nearly impossible to fall asleep last night, leaving her tired and grumpy this morning. Her thoughts were all jumbled now, random memories, thoughts and images all spurred on by that book. Not to mention the confusing emotions it had stirred.

Reading last night while eating dinner, she'd almost choked on a dumpling as Kakashi made his first appearance in the book. With his incredible gift for originality, Jiraiya had used the name Takashi and the image was undoubtedly that of her former sensei. I mean, really, how many masked, one-eyed, silvery-grey haired ninjas could there be?

Takashi, after his one-on-one sparing practice with his former student Saruka, had taken her out for dinner where the conversation quickly turned to her relationship with Jemna. Takashi was certain that, while the other man was able to satisfy her immediate hunger, he could never satisfy her underlying need. At least, not like he could.

Then he'd surprised Saruka with a kiss; a very hot and passionate kiss. It only took a few touches with his hands to have her quivering in his arms and he asked to be given the chance to prove that he could give her what Jemna never could. Predictably, given the nature of the books, the pair had ended up in bed together. Jiraiya had then proceeded to describe the most intimately romantic and erotic sex scene Sakura had ever read, including Takashi's confession of love for his ex-student. Somewhat surprisingly, Takashi's feelings were reciprocated.

Later, when lying in her bed, Sakura read the last page and closed the book, setting it on her stomach. It had ended happily enough; Saruka and Takashi deciding to give a relationship a try. She had rather liked the ending; of course, she always had a soft spot for happy endings and it was quite obvious the characters were meant to be together. But was Jiraiya original enough to come up with such an ending if it wasn't true or was it just wishful thinking on her part?

She sighed. What did it mean? Could the book possibly have a grain of truth? There was little doubt in her mind that her former teacher only saw her as the twelve year old girl he'd first met. This all had to be some strange idea Jiraiya had come up with - his first original thought in that entire book, excluding some of the sexual positions. Or maybe he got the idea from some other teacher-student relationship he'd heard about. Kakashi obviously knew she was a woman because he flirted lightly with her, something he didn't do with Naruto or Sasuke, but that's all it was, a soft flirting between friends. She had no doubt that he would never consider her as a potential lover.

Alright, one doubt. He had called her beautiful.

He didn't mean it like that, he was just trying to cheer her up.

And he'd stroked her cheek.

Surely it had only been a small reassuring gesture between friends.

It had felt good.

That moment would remain in her mind, the way he made her feel with that simple touch. That one single stroke of his hand at the bar had left a tingling trail down her face; a single touch that reassured her that there could actually be someone out there for her. It gave her hope that she wasn't destined to be alone. It had felt good enough to make her think long and hard about their friendship. She had to admit she felt more for him than she would a casual friend. And it was different than anything she'd ever felt for Naruto or even Sasuke. One smile from him made her day better, be it a `good move, Sakura' look or a `thank you for your healing skills' look or a `you've done or said something I find amusing' look.

Could this all just be respect for an authority figure?

She doubted it. Kakashi wasn't exactly an authority figure anymore, he may be team leader but he is also her friend. The one she ran to after she realized a relationship with Sasuke would never work. The one she turned to when she found she was a character in an Icha Icha book. The friend she could talk to, one who didn't mind if she rambled on for long periods of time without later making her feel like she was an idiot.

All these thoughts running through her head confused her greatly.

In the years after Sasuke's defection and Naruto's subsequent long-term training with Jiraiya, Kakashi had been there for her. Those first few months she saw him quite often, at least until he had taken an eighteen month S class mission. When he and Naruto had come back, both around the same time, things were different. She knew she had changed, as had Naruto, but with Kakashi, everything started about where they'd left off, except they were no longer his students. He was now just their leader and friend, offering suggestions and encouragement. At the time, it hadn't stopped her and Naruto from calling him sensei, but that was more from habit. Recently, she'd found herself dropping that title.

Over the years, Kakashi really had become less like her teacher and more of an equal to her, a person who made mistakes and, although he didn't show them, she knew he had emotions. If you knew him well enough, you could even see them. He was human. A human man; nothing more, nothing less. Well, a very sexy and quite desirable human man.

She was the only one he would come to for healing, asking her to do everything she could to avoid going to the hospital. Over the years she had seen selected parts of him without clothes, all to heal his wounds of course, and now her mind was trying to combine all those memories into a nude figure to compare with Jiraiya's pictures. Certain parts were missing but if he even looked half as good as she imagined him to, well, her thoughts were making her drool.

What kind of lover would he be? Would it be hard and fast, rough and filled with an urgent need? Or would it be soft and sweet, slow to the point of torture? How would his hot mouth feel sliding unhurriedly across her skin, kissing and nipping at her bare flesh? His breathing erratic as he balanced himself over her, mismatched eyes burning through hers as he thrust himself powerfully into her body.

Damn. Just thinking about it made her body ache.

She knew he wasn't as cold and remote as many people thought. But he kept most people an arms length away, including his first students now turned teammates. But she'd seen him smile - well, she'd seen the crease at the corner of his eye crinkle which was as close as anyone she knew ever got to see. He cared for his friends and teammates, he was just very cautious about letting them get too close.

There was gossip about him, how his father had killed himself for a failed mission when Kakashi was just a child and how Kakashi was a child-prodigy and had become a jounin at age seven. Yet no one spoke of how he gained his Sharingan and she had never asked. It was probably in his medical file, something she had access to as a medic-nin and the only one who really had the rights to read it seeing as she was the only one he'd turn to when injured, but she'd felt it was inappropriate to find out that way. She knew it wasn't his real eye and the medical implications of that was all she truly needed to know to treat him. She always hoped that one day he would trust her enough to tell her himself. Just like one day, she hoped he would trust her enough to let her see his face.

Pulling herself from her daydream-like thoughts, she left her bed and pulled open her underwear drawer, withdrawing the book she'd hidden there, she retuned to sit on the edge of her bed and looked at it. Finally realizing why she bought it, she stared at the cover image of a man that vaguely resembled Kakashi. Takashi. Great, just great. She was well into her twenties and she had a crush on her teacher.

“Former teacher,” the voice inside her head prodded.

Ah, it didn't matter. There was nothing she could do about it. There was no way he could ever see her as a potential lover, she was just too young and immature. Not to mention he had his choice of any number of women. Pretty women like Suki. Leaning back she opened the book and started to read about some of Takashi's exploits, eventually falling asleep reading, her dreams filled with erotic images of her former teacher.

And now she was standing outside Jiraiya's door, hiding from Kakashi and listening to their conversation.

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“Jiraiya.”

The head of the man in the bed popped up. He paled considerably and glanced nervously at the man standing in the doorway. The figure moved closer until he was able to completely see Jiraiya lying in his bed, propped up against the headboard.

“Kakashi! Good to see you!” the man said with forced cheerfulness. “I guess you've heard about the events leading to my current circumstances.”

“Yes, and I see you found someone willing to heal you, at least partially.”

The man in the bed laughed ruefully. “I was able to bribe one of the male medic-nins to help. He at least healed some of my worst injuries, but not enough to get me out of the hospital for another week or two.”

“Well, I doubt Tsunade, Shizune or Sakura were willing to help, were they?”

“I didn't even bother to ask. I was afraid I would receive further injuries by bringing it up.”

“You brought this on yourself. You should have known better than to use Tsunade-sama's student in one of your books. Or Tsunade-sama herself.”

“After recent events I've reached the same conclusion, but at the time I thought you might enjoy it.”

“So you wrote the book to please me?” Kakashi asked incredulously.

“Not exactly, but you gave me the idea.”

“I finished reading it yesterday.” Kakashi said, no emotions apparent in manner or in voice.

“So did you like the ending?”

“Hmmmm. I'm not sure it's a matter of what I like; it's what Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura will like. They're very close, even now, and while she really doesn't need their protection, at times those two still feel the need to save her. Especially when it comes to relationships. I know they're not going to like it, and I'm not going to protect you from them.” Kakashi turned his stare to Jiraiya's unbroken right arm before looking up at the man's face. “In fact, I'm more than tempted to injure you myself.”

“But I thought you would enjoy that ending!” Jiraiya exclaimed before continuing in a begging tone. “Not the right arm, I won't be able to write or draw for months!”

There was silence in the room.

Besides,” the old man prodded. “Its true, isn't it? You do love her.”

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Outside the door Sakura's breath caught in her throat, waiting with an ache in her chest for his answer. Her eyes closed and she bit her lip, hoping against all rational thought he would say what she wanted to hear… she wanted to hear it was true. She wanted to hear that someone such as him could care for her. That he was the man meant to love her. She strained to hear his next words.

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“It's the truth, isn't it?” Jiraiya prodded.

“How did you…?” Kakashi started before giving a defeated sigh. “I don't know. It's… confusing.”

“Why? You care for her right?” Kakashi eventually nodded and Jiraiya continued. “And it's in a different way than for your other teammates, right? And its unlike you're feelings for anyone else you can think of, isn't it?”

Kakashi nodded again, wondering where the older man was going with this. He cared for all his students in different ways, what made Jiraiya think he could be in love with Sakura?

“You want to protect her, and be with her and you can't imagine your life without her. You enjoy spending time with her and you're comfortable around her.”

He nodded again. “But it's the same around Naruto and Sasuke.”

“But not in the same way. You like watching her, the way she smiles, the way she moves. Every little thing she does turns you on, doesn't it?”

“That just proves I'm a dirty old man.”

“No, it proves you're not immune to her and part of you has realized she's a full-grown woman. What about this - she's all you can think of anymore, isn't she? You'd do anything you could to make her happy, whatever she asks of you. That's more than what you'd do for the boys. Those are some pretty deep emotions - all of them indicative of love. So… do you love her?”

There was silence in the room and Sakura found herself holding her breath waiting for his response.

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“I suppose I do,” he sighed in defeat. He'd been fighting it, but Jiraiya had a point. She was unlike anyone he'd ever known, ever cared for. And if he did love her…

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Kakashi's voice was so quiet she strained her ears to hear the softly spoken words but when she heard them, she released the breath she'd been unconsciously holding. Had he just admitted he loved her? Could she really have overheard what she'd wanted to hear?

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“Now you just need to find a way to tell her.”

“No. it's out of the question.”

“Why can't you tell her?”

“Because she doesn't feel the same way.”

“You can't be sure of that unless you talk with her about it.”

“Yes I can. You should know by now, Jiraiya, that there are some things that are just not within our grasp. I can never hope for the return of my feelings from her, and knowing that, anything I feel for her needs to stay hidden. If she even suspects… I could lose her friendship. She would avoid me. If she finds out I care for her, think of her the way I do…” He paused, sighing deeply before continuing in a softer tone that sakura had to strain to hear. If she knows that I've fallen asleep thinking of how her lips and her hands would feel on my body, thinking how beautiful she'd become… I'll lose any respect she might have had for me when she finds out I'm just a creepy old man lusting after his former student.”

“Give the girl some credit, she's more mature than some people twice her age and she could just harbor some romantic feelings for the man she's looked up to for years, the man who taught her the basic skills of a ninja.” Jiraiya raised an eyebrow and winked. “Bedsides, I can see why you like her; she's quite a cute little thing with really nice-”

“Watch it, old man.” Kakashi growled, his voice expressing the scowl that was barely visible through the mask.

“Ah, over-protectiveness! Yet another sign!” Jiraiya exclaimed joyfully, wishing the cast on his arm was gone so he could rub his hands together.

“Why did you decide to write this book about her - about us? How did you know?” Kakashi sat in the chair by the bed, resting an elbow on his knee and his head in his hand.

“Kakashi, anyone with half a brain could come to the same conclusion if they saw the way you look at her when you think no one is watching you. That desperate look of need, of wanting something you're denying yourself. The few times I've seen it, you were practically drooling. I just decided to give you a helping hand to get what you want.”

“By letting everyone who reads your books know I'm a pervert!”

“Everyone who sees you reading my books already knows you're a pervert.”

“I'm reconsidering not breaking your arm earlier.”

“Listen, Kakashi, I have reason to suspect she wouldn't be indifferent to any advances.”

Kakashi gave a soft snort. “Tsunade must have hit you harder than I thought. Any advances Sakura doesn't want would be sent, along with the rest of my body, through the nearest brick wall.”

“Now you're just exaggerating.”

“You had no idea who you pissed off, do you?” Kakashi asked, surprised by Jiraiya's ignorance. “As her apprentice, Tsunade-sama taught her a great deal of her chakra-enhanced strength. And she only has a slightly better handle on her temper than the Hokage. You got off quite easily. Don't you remember what she did at the jounin exam?” he shivered slightly when remembering the day.

Jiraiya's face paled. “She was the one who almost completely demolished the arena a few years back, isn't she?”

“Yep.”

“Hmmm, I seemed to forget that. I guess I did have a brush with death, didn't I?” the older man mused, his uninjured hand rubbing his chin. “You still need to tell her; I'm certain her reaction won't be as bad as you believe it will.”

“You're not the one that would be sent through a brick wall. No, things don't work that way; I just know she'll never speak to me again.”

“When it comes to the female mind, it can be difficult for a man to anticipate their reactions.”

Kakashi just sighed again. “Not this time, Jiraiya. I know Sakura and I know exactly what she'll say.”

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Sakura stood thinking outside the room for a minute, thoughts racing through her brain so fast she could barely process them. If he did care for her, well… this would change everything. Realizing the men's conversation was ending, she quickly raced off down the hall before she was caught eavesdropping.

TBC…