Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ If Naruto got online ❯ Take 3 ( Chapter 3 )

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Disclaimer Naruto belongs to Kishimoto, aniplex, studio Pierrot etc I am just toying with them.
Take 3

The fanfic reading frenzy has spread through Konoha to unsuspected heights; not even Hiashi the mighty Hyuuga head has escaped its reach.

“What! The Hyuuga heir linked to that Kyuubi brat!” he exclaims and calls for his eledest daughter “Hinata! What do you have to say about this?”
“Father, you should not take fanfics too seriously” Hinata says fiddling her fingers
“I am not worried about the stories; I am worried that you have over 100 bookmarks for them I cannot count the visits on the history and it seems you have been writing some of them”
“Damm” thought Hinata “So much for surfing privacy”
“That’s it! you are going to a nunnery until further notice”

In other part of Konoha Naruto is being hunted with spikes and shovels, in the classical angry mob image by the “Association of Konohans for the good morals and bloodline protection”
As he runs he screams “I am swearing you I will not go into any pheronormal change if I can help it. Your daughters or sons will be safe and for the record I am not gay!”

A bandaged Shikamaru arrives on crutches at Tsunade’s office were Morino Ibiki is still questioning a bruised Jiraiya.
“So what is the status of the village?” the troubled Tsunade asks.
“Well let’s see half the village is hunting Naruto to prevent any of the scenarios described happening; mainly him getting anywhere near their sons or daughters. The other half has developed fanfic addiction and they are not working so Konoha basically on halt, I mean all shinobi that are worth something are discussing whether they should have more fanfics dedicated to them.
Ino hates my guts and joined the hunt as well as the Hyuugas, the Harunos and all families with or without bloodlines; though the bloodline group seems more dangerous.
Kakashi, Shino, Kiba and Neji are trying to hook up with any available girls in Konoha to prove the rumors wrong they are not successful for they are trying to get the same girls at the same time.
On foreign affairs Suna is trying to decide whether to declare war or to make marriage proposals and it seems Temari wants my head on a platter by the way.
The Akatsuki leader demanded a formal apology; something troublesome about plot leakage, identity privacy or he will plunder the computers all around the globe with the Akatsuki virus and also stated that is seriously planning on opening a paid site to profit from its more attractive member, though who would find 5 for one, tuna man, bone guy, serial psycho killer, pinocchio, leafy guy or swirl pierce eyes attractive is beyond me.
The good news are that Orochimaru has been formally charged by child services, I do not know if they are planning a raid or just a recommendation letter.
Our prodigal shinobi Sasuke Uchiha has returned and is after Sakura Haruno trying to marry her, which will be good but it seems Haruno has had quite an eye opener with the stories and is no longer so eager with that plan and she has started stalking Kakashi.

The bad news, Oh yeah! we have a suit pending for child labor regarding the genins use as soldiers and is addressed to you, something troublesome about children’s rights.
“enough!” Tsunade said
“I told you I have nothing to do with this” Jiraiya said from the chair he is tied.
“I believe he is telling the truth” Ibiki says
“What are our options?” Tsunade asks crossing her hands
“Isolating Konoha might be an option” answered the collected Shikamaru
And ever since Konoha stop having Internet access by Hokage’s decree.

Notes, Thanks for reading and reviewing