Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ In My Darkest, Sweetest Dreams ❯ In My Darkest, Sweetest Dreams ( Chapter 1 )

---A/N---First of all, I don't own Naruto, blah blah blah. Whatever. Also, this fic used to be titled "How Dare You Call This Love", and it used to be a songfic. But now I edited it. Cuz no one was reading it. And I really want people to read and review. I spent a lot of time on this, and it would be a shame if no one bothered to read it. But anway… Now here's a…

-------------------------A BIG FAT WARNING!-------------------------

If you as a reader do NOT like to read anything with the following themes, this fic may not be for you: Shonen-ai, and romantic feelings for a minor. Note that there's nothing "sexual" depicted in this fic, not only because it's probably against FF.net's rules, but also because it would be just plain wrong. Also, the pairing is weird. Very weird. You have been warned. Thank you. Enjoy.

---In My Darkest, Sweetest Dreams---

He sat on a half-rotted tree stump watching his students train. Not that he was actually paying attention. He had something more important on his mind, weighing heavily, that had been bothering him for a while now.

It all started a long time ago, but he didn't realize it then. Over time, however, it began to slowly sink into his subconscious. He started having dreams, wildly vivid dreams. But he brushed them off. Things like that happen when you get close to someone, he reassured himself morning after morning. He kept fighting the sick, sinking feeling of nausea that crawled through his being whenever he considered making his dreams into reality. It didn't take too many dreams to show him the truth about his feelings, and the truth of his very nature.

He had another one of those dreams again. He kept turning the details over and over in his mind, half despising and half relishing in each one. One part of him felt dirty and despicable. Yet, another part felt… alive. Even though he knew that every ounce of his fantasy was wrong, he couldn't deny that he had never been happier in his life. Everything had become more fulfilling since the eventual object of his affection had come into his life: Daily training, lectures, outings for ice cream, hospital visitation hours… especially those. He had spent so many days and nights waiting, watching, protecting his precious person. In retrospect, he believed it was on one of those nights that his feelings had transformed into something a little less pure.

He was buried deep within his thoughts when a familiar voice stirred him to return to reality.

"Sensei!"

He stared at the figure rushing toward him, still half in a daze.

"Sensei! Sensei! Help!"

He snapped back into his normal self. He jumped to his feet, dramatic and alert as usual. "Yes, Ten-Ten! What can I do for you?"

Ten-Ten's worried expression communicated to him that something was quite wrong indeed. Their gazes locked momentarily. "It happened again, Gai-sensei…" Gai frowned.

"I had a feeling it might," he half-muttered, followed by a sigh. "Take me to him." The girl took off running, Gai-sensei following her closely. He suddenly realized during this hot pursuit that it was only during adrenaline-filled moments like these that his tired mind was given a reprieve from the twisted thoughts that otherwise haunted him. He felt, for once, some strange kind of morbid peace.

Ten-Ten's flight-like sprint came to an abrupt halt. Gai stopped at her side, looking down at the crumpled figure at their feet.

"That's what I thought," Gai said as he stooped to kneel beside Rock. "What happened, Ten-Ten? Did you see?"

Ten-Ten nodded. "He and Neji were sparring, and he was doing great for a while. Really holding his own, you know. But Neji just… let him have it. I told Neji before they started not to go so hard on Rock… He's not ready for that yet. He used to just bounce back up and keep fighting, but… ever since… Well, I guess he's down for the count."

"Neji, is that true?" Gai's strong voice waivered slightly, as he had felt a wound in a place he could not describe.

Neji nonchalantly shuffled to the other side of Rock's unconscious form. "Yes. That's true. I'm stronger. Of course I won."

Gai stood slowly, shakily, and walked around Rock's body to confront Neji. "What have I been telling you lately, Neji? Huh? Do you listen to me at all? I know I told you before that I wanted you to take it easy on Rock, but you didn't listen one bit. And when you did this to him before, I told you again, but you must not have been listening then, either. Twice, Neji! You've defied me twice now!" Gai's eyes burned with rage like embers, seemingly capable of reducing the cool, collected Neji into a smoldering pile of ash. "I don't know how I'm going to forgive that." Gai's attention turned back to Ten-Ten, his persona returning its more calm state. "Thank you for telling me, Ten-Ten. Don't worry about Rock. I'm sure he'll be just fine." He knelt down beside Rock once more and gently scooped him into his arms. "I'm going to take him home now, so I guess training is over! See you tomorrow morning! Rest up. It's going to be a very action-filled day!" He flashed Ten-Ten his sparkling good-guy smile before slowly making his way home, Rock slumped motionlessly in his arms.

…………………

He could feel the smooth skin beneath his fingertips as he ran them slowly down his love's bare chest. The occasional scar would interrupt the silken feel, but Gai didn't mind. Each one was just another thing to love. He gently traced his beloved's youthful face, running his feather-light touch over every feature: the cheeks, the nose, the lips… He paused on the lips, his touch lingering as moved his face closer to his lover's. He moved in for a kiss, but…

Gai awoke from his dream in a cold sweat. He jumped up from his chair and quickly accessed his reality. No candles, no silken sheets, no sweet lover in his bed. It was all just a dream. He became more lucid, and the rush of fear had subsided. He sat back down in his chair and held his face in his hands. He rubbed his eyes and blinked slowly before lifting his head back up and looking at the bed across from his seat. He could faintly see Rock's figure under the thick white blanket draped over him. Maybe it wasn't just a dream, Gai wondered.

He moved to the bed and sat on the edge next to Rock. He slept soundly, and hardly stirred when Gai sat down. He shifted slightly with a moan and resumed his stillness. Gai smiled vaguely as he looked down at his student's face. All at once he remembered a solemn night just months ago that found Gai sitting on the edge of Rock's hospital bed after visiting hours, vigilantly watching his pupil sleep.

That night, Gai had cried, not out of over-the-top dramatics, but out of sincere worry and grief. The very next morning brought life-changing possibilities: Rock's surgery. He could live, he could die. He'd never be the same either way. The thought of losing Rock brought about more emotion than Gai could contain. He had never been so close to another person, he had never shared so much in common with another person, and he knew that if he lost Rock, he would never be so happy again. So he cried. At Rock's side, stroking whatever of his cheek that wasn't concealed by gauze, Gai-sensei cried. As each happy memory flooded his mind and blurred his thoughts, something within him became melted down and warped. And then… those thoughts were born. The temptation crept in unexpectedly and hid itself within Gai's archive of joyous memories. One moment he remembered watching Rock beam with joy after learning the Lotus technique, and the next moment, he thought, "Kiss him. Kiss him now, Gai, before it's too late."

Gai sighed. The sun was already starting to make it ascent into the early morning sky. Ten-Ten and Neji would be waiting for him soon. "Neji," Gai thought. "I shouldn't have been so hard on him. I didn't mean to go off like that... But…" Gai looked down at his precious person, whose slightly bruised features were illuminated by the first sunbeams of the day gently alighting upon his face. "Today's training is going to be extra-tough today," Gai informed the slumbering Rock, "So don't work yourself too hard, if you can help it. I know you're strong, but if you don't take it easy, you're going to keep hurting yourself like this. I can't bring you here every night. What will people think?" Gai stood slowly so as to not disrupt Rock. "I'm going to go get ready. I'll come wake you when I'm done." He paused before walking away. There was that impulse again. He leaned down over Rock, his face just a foot from his. Slowly, he moved closer, and lightly kissed Rock on the forehead. "There," he thought. "That's as close as it's gonna get." He straightened his posture and made his way out of the bedroom. He wanted to have breakfast waiting for Rock when he finally woke up.

Rock's eyes fluttered half open at the feel of Gai's lips gently brushing his forehead. He watched his teacher walk out of the room and quietly close the door behind him. He yawned and stretched, wincing slightly from yesterday's sparring match. Despite the aching, he felt wonderful. He felt alive. He laid in bed awake as the morning sun filled Gai's bedroom. The smell of breakfast wafted through the air while Rock stared up at the ceiling in thought. He felt this warmth within him that tugged at his emotions. He couldn't help but to smile. He had just woken up from the most wonderful dream…

How'd ya like it? Too weird? I bet you're feeling really dirty right now, aren't you? Personally, I always thought that Gai and Rock would be an obvious pairing. I hope everyone caught that last part, by the by. And I hope everyone enjoyed! Or at least was amused… If people give me some promising reviews, and maybe a cookie, I might expand on this, is there's anyone interested. So… Review now! Please?