Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Indecent Exposure ~ A Naruto Fan-Fic (K/I) ❯ Chapter 19

Indecent Exposure

A 'Naruto' fan-fiction by Ookami Kasumi

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~ Nineteen ~

 

Iruka was speeding across the rooftops, halfway home from teaching his last class for the next three weeks, when he suddenly remembered that it was Saturday. He had an appointment with masseuse in-- He took a quick peek at his watch. Two hours.

 

Crap! He had only two hours to get rid of the finger bruises on his legs and ass. He could write off the wrist and arm bruises as training, but not those. Iruka scowled viciously and put on more speed. "Son of a fucking bitch! God damn it! Piss! Shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck...!" Swearing up a storm, Iruka landed on his apartment building roof. Down the roof access stairs to his floor his swearing continued, though more quietly.

 

He unlocked and un-trapped his door, then started stripping almost as soon as his sandals were off his feet. He dropped his backpack and vest in the vestibule on top of his sandals. He dropped his kit in the hall. He undid his shuriken pouch and dropped that and the bandages on the kitchen table. He grabbed one of the chairs and dragged it behind him toward the bedroom. He had his pants open by the time he reached his bedroom door. Opening his closet to get to the mirror, he positioned the chair before it then dropped his pants. He tossed them and his briefs on his snugly made bed.

 

Straddling the chair backwards, Iruka once again assumed several undignified positions to bathe as many of the marks as he could reach with healing chakra. Fortunately, with Shikamaru doing the cheat-watching for the past couple of days and all his extra time being spent in his apartment, much of his chakra had recovered from the earlier drain. Unfortunately, he'd never had all that much to begin with. His reserves sucked ass. Worst of all, he only had half the time to do it in which meant he had to expend more chakra than usual to make it go faster.

 

In short, by the time Iruka had all of the more telling bruises gone, he was trembling from chakra exhaustion. However, he hadn't quite gone to the next level and given himself a nasty case of chakra burn-out. That would have meant a hospital visit and then an explanation on how he'd drained his chakra so low.

 

Iruka gazed into his mirror and pasted on his most earnest and innocent expression. "Well you see Tsunade; I was fixing finger bruises and hickies so that the masseuse wouldn't know that I had sex last night."

 

Surely, Tsunade would understand the need to exhaust oneself to prevent public embarrassment, right?

 

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Not!" He rose from his chair to get dressed. Rather than bothering to get back into uniform, Iruka pulled a pair of comfortable khaki slacks and a pale cream linen, long sleeved, button-down from his closet. Short sleeves were right out because of all the bruises still on his wrists and arms. He quickly discovered that not getting back into his uniform had been a wonderful idea because with his chakra drained so low, simply pulling on the loose khaki pants and then buttoning the shirt took effort.

 

He trotted back to his front door to slip on his sandals, and yanked the door open. He slammed it closed then turned back to slap the frame, flashing a tiny spark of chakra, about all he had left, to activate the traps. That done, he rushed down the stairs as fast as his shaky knees would let him.

 

Thank the gods the clinic was right on the corner or he would have had to call in and cancel his appointment. It was that or call a cab. Iruka scowled. No way in hell! A ninja that had to resort to vehicle transportation might as well turn in his head protector. The only exceptions were going to or coming from the hospital, and that was only if they were unconscious.

 

Iruka skidded into the clinic door barely in time to make his appointment.

 

~ * ~

 

Sprawled face-down on the chrome and leather cushioned technician's table, Iruka moaned under the white-jacketed masseuse's strong hands. Having his back muscles professionally man-handled felt wonderful -- especially after last night's exertions.

 

"Mr. Umino..."

 

Iruka didn't bother to open his eyes. "Yes, Dr. Chen?"

 

The doctor snorted and continued rubbing away on Iruka's lower back. "There is no need to exhaust your chakra on such small bruises. They will heal by themselves."

 

Iruka stiffened and his eyes snapped wide open. "What...?"

 

The doctor's hands didn't falter. "Oh please, you didn't honestly think I would miss the localized traces of chakra passage, did you?"

 

Iruka slumped boneless on the table. "I was kind of hoping...?"

 

Dr. Chen shook his head and sighed. "There's nothing wrong with a bit of rough and tumble sex every now and again." His hands moved down to Iruka's butt cheeks. "In fact, I think it's about damned time you found a lover."

 

Iruka tried very hard not to cringe, but there was no helping the heat filling his face. "You don't say?"

 

"Mm-hmm..." The doctor's fingers dug into a knot around Iruka's tailbone. "You're root chakra point down here at the base of your spine has had particularly poor circulation because of your lack of revitalizing sex."

 

Revitalizing sex? Iruka frowned. Has he been talking to Gai?

 

The doctor's voice pitched to openly cheerful. "However today, your circulation is in top shape."

 

Iruka gave up and cringed into the small pillow. "Oh, that's nice."

 

"Okay, you're set for today!' Dr. Chen whacked Iruka's freshly oiled butt with an open palm. The resulting crack damned near echoed.

 

Iruka jumped in spite of himself. Damn it, does he have to do that every time?

 

Dr. Chen stepped to the front of the table and into Iruka's view. His round oriental face was wreathed in smiles and the overhead lights gleamed on his round glasses. "I prescribe a soak in a hot salt bath, then some stretches before you go to bed."

 

Iruka rose slowly, grabbing for the small towel that was his only covering. He ducked his head, hiding his hot face behind his loose hair. "Thank you Dr. Chen."

 

The doctor's slender black brow rose. "And get laid more often."

 

Iruka barely held back his choke. He looked up, wide eyed. "D-Doctor?"

 

The doctor wagged a finger at Iruka. "It's entirely possible that your chakra reserves are as low as they are because you're not getting enough regular sex." He frowned. "Didn't you know that your root chakra point is where your body naturally generates new chakra? It also regulates how much you can access at any given time. Poor circulation there can actually hamper your ability to not only produce it, but also access it."

 

Iruka pasted on a sunny smile, but knew damned well his red face was giving his raw embarrassment away. "Actually, I didn't know that, but I'll take it into account from now on."

 

Dr. Chen nodded sharply. "You do that. Frequent sex with someone you actually care about is the fastest way to recover from a chakra drain, and...!" He lifted a finger. "Extend your chakra reserves, however..." His chin lifted and his mouth tightened. "The transfer goes both ways."

 

Iruka blinked. "Transfer...?"

 

Dr. Chen nodded. "When someone cares for you, they give chakra. When they don't, they take it." He nodded at Iruka. "You in particular don't have any to spare, so make sure your lovers genuinely care for you, or they'll drain you down to nothing in no time flat."

 

Wide-eyed, Iruka nodded sharply. "Yes, Doctor."

 

He turned away and waved. "See you next week, Mr. Umino." Humming off-tune, the white-coated masseuse closed the small room's door behind him.

 

Iruka slid off the table and grabbed his clothes from off the stool by the wall. I can't believe he just told me that my low reserves come from lack of sex! He pulled on his pants and frowned. But then, that would explain why all the genin suddenly expanded in their chakra reserves a year or so after graduating the academy -- around the age of sixteen. He shook his head. That can't be it. He'd had plenty of sex under his kunoichi sensei... More than he'd cared to in fact.

 

"When someone cares for you, they give chakra. When they don't, they take it."

 

Iruka winced. The people he'd had sex with under his seduction techniques instructor hadn't been lovers. They'd been targets -- people he'd seduced into using him. Suddenly, his overwhelming need for sex after missions made an awful lot of sense. The fix of course, was to get a long-term lover, or better yet, a permanent partner. However, he couldn't maintain a relationship because his missions involved seduction. Ninja were notoriously possessive. Iruka rolled his eyes. He was screwed both ways.

 

On that sour note, Iruka left the clinic as quietly as he knew how.

 

The entire walk home Iruka mused on the 'sex = chakra' equation, wondering how he could use that information to increase his reserves. It'd be simple if he actually had a lover -- have more sex.

 

Kakashi's slyly grinning face suddenly bloomed in his mind.

 

Iruka shook his head. That would work for the moment, but he wasn't sure how long it was going to last. Probably until my next mission. Iruka shoved that thought from his mind then tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. There had to be another way to use this information, some way that didn't involve actually having sex.

 

Still puzzling over the equation, Iruka absently rapped his knuckles on the frame of his apartment door to shut down the cascade of waiting traps. "Maybe I should check my notes. I might have jotted something useful there."

 

That meant he needed to open his other closet.

 

After stepping inside and closing the door, he pulled off his sandals and walked straight up the hallway. He turned to the left to face the blank white wall between the kitchen archway and the bathroom door. Iruka slid a senbon needle from his breast pocket and stabbed the side of his thumb. A bead of blood welled. He pressed his thumb on the center of the wall and rubbed, smearing a tiny amount of blood. "Invoke."

 

A dark blot appeared under the smear. It spread into the complicated design of a seal almost the full width of the wall. The seal turned blood red for a moment, then turned ink black again and abruptly faded to nothing. A simple wooden sliding door formed in the middle of the wall.

 

Iruka slid the door to the left, opening it. He stepped in. A small overhead light blinked on illuminating the roomy walk-in closet lined with floor to ceiling shelves. Books, scrolls, jars, and boxes were crammed on every shelf. The floor under the lowest shelves was crammed with broad black trunks.

 

His gaze passed over the pair of tall, bladed naginata, spears leaning upright in left corner that had once belonged to his mother. On a trunk at the foot of the center back wall was the pair of mid-length wakasashi swords in plain black sheathes that had once belonged to his father. He turned to the right and glanced at the six-foot unstrung long-bow leaning upright in the right corner with its accompanying quiver of owl-fletched arrows. That had been his weapon of choice.

 

Iruka sighed and stepped beyond the bow to the two broad shelves holding the collection of plain black, loose-leaf ring-binder notebooks, some more tattered than others, and rummaged. He pulled out one, flipped it open, and leafed through page after page of complicated seals. He pulled out two more. The binders full of inscribed seals were part of his inheritance from his parents -- and his biggest secret.

 

Of those still living, only Tsunade, Jiraiya, and possibly Ibiki, knew that his actual specialty was in the creation and use of seals -- just like his father before him. In fact, fully half of the notebooks in his concealed closet had been compiled by his dad. The habit of secrecy had come about shortly after discovering that his jounin instructor had also specialized in seals -- ugly ones, the kind that warped people's minds and bodies beyond recovery.

 

His secret skill for seals was also the reason why he'd been selected as Naruto's teacher. If something went wrong with the seal on the boy's belly, he was one of the few that would actually spot it -- and could do something about it. He might not have the power reserves of a Sannin, but then neither had his dad. However, his dad had taught him that when one knew how to use seals properly, only a spark of chakra was actually needed.

 

His notebooks chosen, Iruka reached up to the box sitting on the shelf above to pull out a couple of carefully prepared, though blank, creamy white tag papers -- just in case he found something useful. His search complete, Iruka stepped out of his closet. The light winked out. He closed the door then smeared another drop of blood on it.

 

The seal appeared briefly then faded along with the door, leaving a blank white wall.

 

Iruka turned away and carried his notebooks into the living room then went to his small kitchen to warm a bottle of sake for a nice relaxing study session.

 

After two hours and a bottle and a half of sake, Iruka had a few ideas on how to design a seal to collect free-floating sexual energy, but it would take some serious research to weed out some of the possible side-effect before he could even consider using it.

 

Interestingly enough, he'd also found something in his father's notes about tap seals. It wouldn't help with his current investigation, but it did trigger some rather interesting ideas.

 

Basically, the tap seal went around another seal. The idea being that once the seal made contact with someone, any use of their chakra would cause the outer seal to tap into the carrier's chakra to activate the inner seal. This caused the carrier's chakra to fuel whatever the inner seal did. The best part was that it took hardly any chakra to make or use because the seal used the carrier's chakra to trigger and activate it -- not the creator's. Even better, once the seal was activated, any trace of the creator's chakra was literally burned away by the carrier's chakra -- destroying all traces of the original creator.

 

A smile curved Iruka's lips that he knew was ruthlessly malicious. He'd just found the perfect seal to prank any high-powered jounin that foolishly crossed his path. Now all he had to do was come up with the prank itself.

 

He tapped his brow and frowned. He needed something hideously embarrassing, yet non-lethal to anything but their pride. Tsunade would peel his skin if he did something permanent to one of her precious jounin. That meant it needed to be something that wouldn't actually interfere with their performance. A smile curved his lips. This way they'd be forced to endure it during missions. It also needed to be uncommon so that they wouldn't know how to get out of it.

 

Nothing came to mind.

 

He blew out a breath. "I'm over thinking this. I need to clear my mind." Meditation was one way to do it -- so was exercise. Ah, exercise! He rose from his seat on the couch and trotted off to his bedroom to strip out of his clothes and put on a pair of sweats.

 

Bare-footed and bare-chested, Iruka moved to the broad empty space behind the couch and began going through the exercises Gai had given him. While going through the motions, he allowed his mind to float lightly around subject of embarrassment. His thoughts naturally drifted to his students and the more embarrassing punishments he'd meted out.

 

Like a lightning bolt, it came to him -- the sexy jutsu! There wasn't a male jounin out there that didn't look down on their female counterparts -- and vice versa. To suddenly be the opposite gender...?

 

Iruka's mind was suddenly flooded with a vision of what senbon-wielding Genma would look like as a female -- or buxom Anko as a guy. He didn't even bother to hold back his wicked cackle. Another vision flooded his mind, of Gai as a female. Iruka shivered hard. That was just plain scary.

 

He slipped into another exercise form and focused. The sexy jutsu was a full transformation technique, so the gender change would be real, not an illusion and it was definitely not commonly known. Quite a few knew of it, but he sincerely doubted anyone really knew how it was actually done -- or how to reverse it. As far as he knew, he was the only one that Naruto had taught the technique to. Konohamaru occasionally bragged that he knew it too, but Iruka had yet to see the kid actually use it.

 

The only snag was that Tsunade knew that he knew the jutsu -- and Kakashi too. He scowled. "Damn..."

 

Iruka shook his head. That just meant that he'd have to make sure he had an iron-clad alibi when it went off. He eyed the table where his notes were spread out. "A simple five minute delay could work." Now all he had to do was come up with a seal that would invoke the sexy jutsu. That was going to take far more serious thought -- and research.

~ * ~