Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Innocent Blood ❯ Chapter 1

It's all over now. The danger is gone. He should be able sleep in peace now. So why can't he?

He's much too thin…much too small. I worry. What if there is something wrong with him? He has the most powerful position in our village, something most can only dream of. He is strong. People do not oppose him…yet he tosses and turns at night, dreaming of a hell fabricated in his own mind, enclosed in his body, and imploding in his soul.

God knows I shouldn't be here, but his silent screams tear me from sleep each night. Each night I speed to his room. Sometimes I go in, sometimes I don't. My very presence seems to calm him. Tonight I go in; tonight seems to be especially rough for him.

…Why do you have to torture yourself like this?

I want to hold him, to scoop him up in my arms and hold him tightly, let him know I will protect him from everything, even the horror in his body. But he barely sleeps as it is. Every few minutes of rest he can get must be cherished. I content myself with watching, hoping he can feel me.

His eyes snap open and, for a moment, he is still locked in battle with his invisible foes. Then slowly his fight fades, and he realizes he is not alone.

“Te…Temari?” He is still drowsy. I know because he doesn't struggle when I pull him into my lap. His head rests on my shoulder. Hot tears sting my cheeks. I can't tell whether they are his or mine. The sand around him recedes into the gourd. Even in his sleep it responds to protect him from his imagined predator. But this battle cannot be fought with ninjitsu. And will not allow him to fight it on his own.

“Gaara-kun, are you alright?” He nods. He's lying. And we both know it. He is shivering even though his thin frame is pressed tightly against mine. I stroke his arms slowly starting from the shoulders and moving down, applying gentle pressure to key nerves. It's an instinctive reaction he has when he fights his own demons. He tends to isolate parts of his body, cutting off the circulation as if it would trap the creature in that appendage. Maybe he believes that he can encase them in a limb, then cut it off later. Or maybe he is trying to drop his body temperature enough that he can drift away to the sweet release of death. Normal suicide won't work. Once I am sure the blood flow has returned to normal I move on to his heart. His chest is still heaving. We sit there for what feels like hours, not moving, not speaking, just sitting with my hand resting on his chest. Slowly he tries to match my breathing and his heartbeat slows to a trance-like speed.

Gaara told me once, long before, that this was the point when he was mine. He said that when our hearts beat in unison, at that point I completely control him. Under normal circumstances he finds it hard to say no to his sister. But now… if I asked him to build me a mansion out of toothpicks he would be arrested for deforestation. He is powerless to deny me anything. That kind of power over someone as incredibly imposing as Gaara can be more than slightly frightening, especially at a time like now, when he has no resistance.

“You think you can go back to sleep now?”

“Yes. Thank you Temari.” I hold him for a moment longer before letting him slip away from me. Somehow I feel as if I am hand-delivering him to the devil.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Do you want to stay?”

“You're the Kazekage. You can order me to stay.” His face scrunches up in a halfhearted scowl.

“Don't give me that crap Temari!” I fondly rumple the brilliant red hair of the little boy in front of me, my little brother.

“I have a mission tomorrow.”

“Oh.” His face falls, an almost imperceptible gesture. Something only I'd notice.

“Tell you what, I think I have an idea. I'll have Kankuro make you a puppet of me, something that is discreet and can be hidden. He's not going to tell anyone. But for now…” I pull one of my kunai. His intense eyes follow my movements curiously. He pulls in a sharp breath when I slit open the base of my palm. “…here.” I drip several drops on his pillow. “You can have it washed out in the morning. But for tonight, well at least it smells like me.”

“Thank you Temari, for everything.”

“Gaara…I want you to know that I'll do anything for you.” The haunted look captured his face. He barely managed a whisper.

“Can you make this hell go away?” His pain tore through me.

“No, I'm sorry. But I can promise to go through that hell with you…if you'll let me.” He nodded, his face, at least for a moment, released from its painful contortion.

“I'd like that…”

 

I stay by his side until he falls asleep, stroking his hair and singing songs no one else ever sang to him. He drifts away in peace for now. There is nothing more I can do.

 

Why God?

 

First your son, now my brother.

 

Why do you make the innocent to suffer for the deeds of others? His is the innocent blood. Yet I would gladly give mine for him.

 

No mob will crucify me to rescue his soul.

No crown of brambles will mix blood and tears to cleanse him.

No spear in my side will draw redemption for him.

 

I have no cross on which to die for him.

I have no tomb to return from to purge him of sins he never committed.

I have no power to overcome his hell on my own.

 

My blood is not the blood of God.

 

But I can only hope that tonight my blood will be worthy enough to drive away his demons. At least for tonight.