Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Kakashi's Research ❯ Elite Man-Eating Turkeynin ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in the series! I simply borrow them to do my bidding is all...

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Kakashi's Research

Chapter 7: Elite Man-Eating Turkeynin

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‘Yura giggled as she gave the scarf an experimental tug, making sure each of his limbs were secured to their designated posts before she shot him an impish glance. “Get comfy,” she purred. “I wont be finishing with you for a while."’

She did not say that.

‘She slipped onto the bed and crawled over to the helpless Tetsuya and before the blindfolded man knew it, she had straddled his stomach causing his abdominal muscles to tense beneath her. “Relax, baby. Let Yura-chan make you feel aaall better,” she smiled.’

She did not say that.

‘Yura angled forward and deftly dragged her hips backwards, resulting in Tetsuya’s breathy groan as she deliberately teased his rapidly growing erection. He gasped as Yura ground against him once more. “What’s wrong?” she asked innocently before she repeated the process again for good measure-- just to see him writhe, and because she knew that she had the power to do it.'

Okay. She definitely didn’t do that.

‘Yura bent down to linger a warm kiss to his bottom lip, a chaste kiss that contradicted her wicked and insensitive intentions. Had he not also been gagged at the time, Tetsuya probably would have given Yura one hell of an earful. It was then that she finally seized the scarf stuffed in his mouth with her lips and slowly began to peel it down his chin, and --”

“You know, you once told me that it was a crime against Konoha’s virtue to read that kind of material in broad daylight…”

Sakura jumped, the blue book she’d clutched in her hands going airborne for all of two seconds before the said girl clumsily caught it again. “Ugh! Quit always popping up like that!” Sakura snapped before chakra-launching the book-- make that hardback book-- at Kakashi’s head. Just to prove to her that even her chakra could never compare to his unanimous awesomeness, and perhaps also to avoid sustaining a concussion, he reached up with one lazy hand and peered fondly at the thing he‘d seconds before plucked out of the air.

“In any event, I’m flattered. I take it that you like it?” he smiled as he hopped from his perch on the telephone pole. “You wouldn’t believe my ratings and it‘s only been out for a day now. I’ve got fans, Sakura, fans. So many, I think, that that’s the reason Jiraiya threw me that nasty look this morning… Seems I might be stealing some of his patrons.” Kakashi chuckled bashfully, “What can I say? I’m a celebrity.”

“My, my, sensei. Are you bragging?” Sakura said dryly. “Now, give it back. I paid the last of my ryo on that trash and I‘ll be damned if I‘ll let you keep it.” She made a grab for it just in time to see Kakashi effortlessly hold it out of her reach. Sakura then cursed her being vertically challenged.

“Hey. Last time I checked, objects thrown at my head belong to me,” he said as he watched Sakura hop up and down in a frantic but feeble attempt to retrieve the book he waggled so cruelly just out of her grasp.

“Since when!?”

“Since now when the situation presented itself,” he replied with a small laugh.

Kakashi stared at her for a brief moment, just in time to see her poke out a lower lip and give him the infamous puppy eyes act. He rolled his own eye in return. “That doesn’t work anymore on me, you know, Sakura. That stopped working when you were fourteen--” The cuteness had gone. She’d began to ’fill out’ at that time… “-- Save it for some unwitting fool like Naruto.”

In a flash, her cherubic act disappeared and she resorted to jumping up and down once again like a little babboon. Sakura drummed almost pathetically on his chest and protested in a voice that came out much more whiney and childish than she’d have liked, “But, se-en-sei! It’s mine!”

“What would you be willing to do to get it back?” he asked. For some reason beyond him though, that seem to have come out a little bit more questionable than he had intended it to.

It was then that he had to take a step back to avoid one swift kick to the shins. “Keep it, you perv. I’m not that desperate!” she grumbled, a distinct blush on her cheeks as she crossed her arms. “Though I don’t see why you’d want it. You’re the one who wrote that garbage. You should know it inside and out. Not to mention, you probably have millions and millions of them in your apartment everywhere. Copies that I didn’t pay for with my own money. Copies that a sweet, innocent girl didn’t p--”

“Sakura… I was only teasing. Here,” Kakashi said, scratching at the back of his head. He might have liked to think that he was immune to her puppy dog eyes, but he had never been too keen on her rants. As she snatched the book from him, he smiled knowingly, “You like it after all, hm?”

“No,” Sakura glared. “I have to read it. Not because I want to, but because you actually put that… scene in it. I had to see what was indirectly written about me! And I didn’t even do anything like that! Not really, anyway…”

“I only made things a tad more interesting,” he said innocently, “Nothing that you should be ashamed of. In fact, I’ve been getting several comments about it. Apparently, people seem to enjoy that particular scene. They call it… ’spicy’.”

“Unbelievable.”

“And I thought,” he continued, despite that glare that burned into the side of his skull that would put Swiss cheese to shame, “rather than continue that decidedly cruel game we had going, I thought that this would be the more civil way to satisfy the roll of payback. ‘Payback’s a bitch’ after all,” he chuckled, gazing fondly at the sky as he rubbed his chin.

After a moment’s silence, Sakura grumbled as she sucked on her teeth, “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“I’m thinking about kittens,” he answered.

“Liar.”

“Kittens aside, are you ready?” he said. “I expect he’s growing impatient…”

“Only because you decide to show up an hour or more late, as always. I’ll be surprised if we even get half the pay now! You remember how stingy that old geezer was last time,” Sakura growled as she stuffed Kinmotsu no Koi into her pack and heaved it over her shoulder.

Kakashi turned and started down the road, moments after, Sakura trailing behind. “Yes. He was a little bit rash, wasn’t he?” he said.

Sakura sighed. She could hardly blame the old man. She’d be pissed off too if every time she requested a simple chore to be done, the people who tended it turned up late. “Well, I really hope he isn’t this time. I don‘t think you‘ll fancy taking me out to eat for the next week--” Kakashi rolled his eyes. His wallet was still screaming from yesterday. “-- Maybe if I strike him as a sweet, polite gal,” she practiced a toothy smile while lacing her fingers together, “then he wont shave as much of our pay off?”

When Kakashi made a sound that oddly sounded like ‘yeah-right!‘ in the form of a throat clear, Sakura threw him a sour look. “What?” she murmured darkly.

“I didn‘t say anything,” Kakashi said as he peered into Icha Icha(when he’d pulled that thing out Sakura didn’t know).

Sakura frowned. “What? You don’t think I could do it?”

“I… never said that,” Kakashi murmured, flipping through the pages distractedly.

“You don’t, do you? Just watch me, sensei. I’ll turn on the charm,” Sakura said, batting her lashes.

“You do realize that this cheap man will be looking for any and every reason to deduct from our pay, right? Regardless if we’re late or not, he’ll find something,” Kakashi told her as though he’d had this customer many times before-- and Sakura didn’t doubt that he had even way more than she did.

“Yeah, yeah. Tell you what, I bet you that not only will I get him to pay us what the mission originally charged, but I’ll get him to tip us extra even!”

“Unless you plan on giving the man a lap dance, I seem to find this highly unlikely. In contrast to Hiroshi-sama’s name, he is not a very generous man," Kakashi said, "We don’t need our clients dying of heart attacks anyway, Sakura."

Sakura narrowed her eyes as she glared daggers at the back of his head. “Oh, because that’s the only way I could do it,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I bet you I could do it without doing anything of that nature.”

Before she knew what was happening, she found herself staring at Kakashi's rear. How her gaze had roved from the back of his head all the way down to his butt was beyond her, really. But it was there. And she was looking. Shamelessly looking. In fact, it was so to a degree where she found herself wondering how a guy could get his butt so incredibly firm-looking. And the worst thing of all was, she next wondered whether or not it felt as firm as it looked...

Because of her being preoccupied, she failed to see that sneaky little hole in the ground that Kakashi had moments before avoided. And because of this, with a squeak of dismay, she was sent on a pleasant trip forward.

“Pothole,” Kakashi hummed, though unnecessarily as Sakura’s infamous forehead had already connected with his shoulder blades by this time.

“Thanks…” her muffled voice growled bitterly, “…for the warning.” Separating her face from his back, perhaps she took her time in doing so, she dogged around him so as to where they were walking side-by-side. Removing the distraction!

She could not... believe what she'd moments before been doing! Kakashi was right; she was a pervert! Who did that? Trip because they were checking out their teacher's butt? Trip because they were wondering what it felt like??

This was his fault. It was him. He was the reason that she'd done it. Damn that Kakashi and his stupid book!

Sakura glowered at him while rubbing her forehead.“Did you hear me, sensei?”

“Yes. You’re grateful. I get it.”

“No, not that! About me being able to win him over without giving Hiroshi a… lap dance.”

“Don't you think that instead of thinking about giving people lap dances, that perhaps you should occupy yourself with rectifying your horrid vigilance. This is the second time you’ve bumped into me, isn’t it?”

“Don’t change the subject!”

Kakashi sighed. She really wouldn’t give up on this… “So, you‘re really wanting to bet me on this, are you?”

“Yup,” she said flatly. She wanted him to take her seriously. Even if this was a petty thing to bet over, Sakura wanted him to at least acknowledge her. Especially now when she wanted to impress him.

“Well, if we‘re going to bet, I want a valid one,” he said, his gaze still on his book, but Sakura’s now blinking up him perplexedly.

“What do you mean?” she asked suspiciously.

“How about this; if you win, you can keep all of the earnings of this mission and half of my next paycheck for my next one…” He ignored the way Sakura’s eyes went all wide and googly as she gasped in disbelief. “… But, if I win…” The look on Sakura’s face went from astonishment to just plain wary. For a moment, she thought that his next words would be perverse in one way or another. But then, Kakashi scarcely ever did what was expected of him; “...you’ll have to treat me to dinner.”

“But, I don’t have any money!” Sakura murmured in a ‘no-duh!’ fashion.

“I never asked for any,” Kakashi said, lifting his gaze from his novel to cast a signature eye crinkle over his shoulder. “That would sort of defeat the purpose of requesting this mission, I’m thinking, when the only reason we asked for this simple D-ranked is to get you some extra cash. Besides, I was thinking something along the lines of you cooking for me.”

“… I don’t have groceries.”

“…when you get some,” Kakashi finished. “Or, if I’m feeling especially hungry later on, I’ve got some groceries. Granted, there’s probably not much of a selection to choose from. But, that’s okay. I usually only keep to just a few food groups, anyway. I’ve been in a kind of ‘beef stir-fry and rice’ kind of mood as of the late…”

“You seem rather confident for a person who is about to cough up two paychecks to me,” Sakura huffed.

“That’s because that person never loses. Ever,” Kakashi said arrogantly.

“We’ll see, old man, we’ll see.” Sakura deliberately ignored the indignant glare that her sensei shot in her direction, satisfied as the telltale smirk that crawled onto her face.

-

A twenty odd minute walk left the urban surroundings to make a gradual fade into country. Sakura and Kakashi spent the majority of their walk in remote silence, Kakashi expectedly reading and Sakura admiring the mildly wooded scenery; the same scenery that she’d watched the same way so many times before when leaving the town for a mission but never once lost her muse for.

It was peaceful, Sakura decided. A pleasant change from the concrete jungle she lived in. Even so, as nice as it was out here, she didn’t think she could ever live out here in the middle of nowhere(yes, a twenty minute’s walking distance from the nearest shop was the middle of nowhere to Sakura…).

When they finally arrived to their client’s estate, Sakura briefly marveled at its grand size like she‘d done each and every time before. The place was simply huge, wealthy, but in a modest kind of way that didn't flaunt much, but still reminded her how poor she was in comparison.

As Sakura and Kakashi strolled down the vast walkway, Sakura aimed him a warning glance. “Don’t you say a single word to him-- not a word. Understand?” she said flatly. For some reason, Kakashi only had to say two words to piss this guy off. Granted, those two words were often sarcastic or demeaning in one way or another...

Kakashi shrugged a shoulder and nodded. Yes, he understood. But his understanding what he was told to do and following directions were two entirely separate things as far as he was concerned. “Humor me,” he said with an eye smile.

Sakura knocked on the door and patiently waited as she thought over what she was going to say to the old man. "I’m so sorry we’re late, sir," she’d say. "You see, we were attacked by sound ninja on the way and we barely escaped with our lives, but we’re here now and ready to do chores!" This made her roll her eyes. Her excuses were becoming lamer! Damn that Kakashi!

During the wait, Sakura mentally fussed over the best way to get on the good side of an old bug-eyed fogey without giving him potential heart failure. She scoffed at her sensei’s former implication that the only way she could get favorable payment was by quid pro quo or something equally lewd.

At this thought, she glared at Kakashi over her shoulder, and though he seemed absorbed in his novel as usual, she could tell by that subtle quirk of the lip that he was paying attention. That, or he had just read something especially naughty. But she’d like to think it was the former.

There was a slight rustling behind the great oak door before it gradually creaked open. Sakura quickly faced around, brandishing that cutesy smile she’d practiced so many other times before on Naruto and Sasuke to beguile them into doing things for her. “We’re so sorry we’re…” Sakura’s bright smile suddenly drooped into something more decidedly embarrassed,“...late.”.

-

The moment that door opened, even without Sharingan, Kakashi saw evil in its purist single forms. He could sense it. Demons, delivered straight from the fiery pits of hell.

Kakashi was nearly blinded when a double dose of bright light delivered from the combination of identical shiny bowl cuts and two sets of impossibly white teeth made his eyeball want to implode... There was a gasp. And then a cry of, “Oh, S-Sakura!”

Kakashi’s hand made an involuntary twitch towards his thigh holster as for some reason… a kunai seemed a more favorable item in his hands than a book at the moment.

However, when a blatant cry of “Eternal rival!” met his ears, Kakashi took a slight step backwards, mildly alarmed to say in the least. For a moment, he was the very image of a deer caught in headlights. And, just like a deer, that fleeting instinct to bolt ran him through. But that was always his mind’s first impulsive reaction to the site of… him. What on earth was he doing here anyway? “… Gai?”

At the doorway stood one very bold looking caterpillar-browed sensei and his duplicate, both with jumpsuit sleeves and legs rolled up, inflicting a horrid display of a bit more furry flesh than Kakashi cared to see. In contrast to his teacher though, the youngest of the two sported one very frilly pink apron and his forearms were wet and soapy-- the very image of a stereotypical housewife almost, save for the foamy slicked arm hairs.

Kakashi might have aimed a demeaning comment about Mini-Gai’s tasteful choice of apparel had he the mind to, but as it were, he was mildly distracted with the curious little predicament that he’d found himself in at the moment.

It was great. Just fan-freaking-tastic. Not only was Gai here, but so was Lee. Sure, on any given day that spelled depletion of brain cells for Kakashi and anyone else who gave them a mind to listen, but now, especially now, interaction with the witless wonders might promote… future issues.

If he could recall, Kakashi might, just might have impersonated a certain somebody to ensure that a certain somebody else didn’t get asked out by another mini-somebody…

At the time, diverting Lee’s attention by posing as Gai in Kakashi’s mind seemed absolutely ingenious. But only now that he found himself confronted with the fruit of his labor did he find that perhaps this hadn’t been as brilliant as he initially figured when he pulled that last minute stunt. With Sakura here, Lee here, and Gai, things were bound to unravel.

This could be problematic.

Gai, brandishing a feather-duster, complete with cobwebs and dust danglies, effectively waggled the thing in Kakashi’s direction for lack of anything better to use; “It was fate!” he exclaimed in a singsong fashion that quickly made Kakashi bring a hand up in a wave of dismissal.

“Coincidence, purely coincidence, I’m sure,” Kakashi drawled in turn, “we’ve obviously gotten the wrong place.” As if. They were in the right place and he knew it. This was the only estate in the area and the odds of them mistaking it for another were slim to zero. “Come on, Sakura. We’re leaving,” Kakashi decidedly said, already retreating.

“But this is Hiroshi’s---”

“--Whose at the door!?” a grouchy old voice abruptly hollered, cutting Sakura off in the middle of her sentence with a start. “Is it that dumb ass, Kakashi and his fuck-up students?”

Gai chuckled before curling his hand to his mouth and calling back into the house, “Yes, Hiroshi-sama! Were you expecting them?”

“I expected that prick and the runts here two hours ago!” growled the gruff voice. “Send that bastard inside!”

Lee lightly pressed his hand to his heart and sighed, “He’s such a loving old man.” Scary thing was though, he wasn’t being sarcastic.

With a reluctance only otherwise known to an off Shikamaru sentenced to a bout of anything that didn‘t consist of cloud watching, Kakashi cut off Gai before he ever even had a chance to say anything. “Coming,” he sighed.

Why did it have to be that Kakashi's least favorite people in the entirety of the world that was hell had to all be here at the same time? It was a damn conspiracy.

When passing by his bubblegum-haired student, he didn’t fail to see how she had been grinning at him. Likely from the rather colorful terms of endearment that Hiroshi had used to address him and promised, by the sound of it, to soon use to address him. Kakashi didn’t doubt that Hiroshi would exhaust his vocabulary several times over by the time this was finished.

Kakashi made sure not to give either of the bowl-cut twins eye contact as he entered the house as any display of acknowledgement to any one of them on his part was a liable way to unknowingly consent to their mindless babbling. And that was the very last thing he wanted to do for obvious reasons under the exceptionally tricky circumstances...

-

Sakura had been, at the time, mildly startled when she was greeted at the front door of Hiroshi‘s gigantean house by Lee and Gai(but not nearly as startled as her sensei). “What‘re you guys doing here?” she asked after Kakashi, followed by an upbeat Gai, disappeared into the dreaded house.

Lee, if not anything else, was simply thrilled. Clasping two soapy hands together with a bright smile, he eagerly enlightened her; “Our team was called earlier to help Hiroshi-sama with some housework. We have not been here long." He suddenly added wistfully, "Did they send for Team Seven to help as well?”

“Yes… well, not exactly,” Sakura laughed embarrassedly, “we were actually supposed to have been here two whole hours ago.”

As if on cue, there began a tirade of rowdy verbal assaults from inside and Sakura could only just picture her sensei stood there in front of the foulmouthed fogy, typically ignoring the old man as he had at him like Kakashi even gave a damn-- and which she knew he didn’t. “Where the fuck have you been?” she heard Hiroshi snarl.

And then came Kakashi’s notorious prologue of “Well, you see…” as he always had done for a second’s stalling as he thought up some ridiculous lie, and she wasn’t disappointed when she next heard, “we were attacked by a flock of birds. Let me ask you, have you ever heard of Iwa’s infamous Elite Man-Eating Turkeynin? Vicious things they are.”

“Is that true?” Lee whispered, raising two thick and fuzzy eyebrows in surprise as he pointed over his shoulder.

“'Fraid not,” Sakura sighed, tucking a pink lock behind her ear.

“So then, he was just…”

“Yup,” she answered before Lee even had to finish questioning her sensei’s typical tardiness.

“Ah. So that is what happened,” Lee murmured, sympathizing like he always did with her. “I remember something being mentioned about how another team never showed up…” With Sakura’s telltale frown, Rock Lee added hastily, “but you are all here now and that is what matters, is it not?”

“Well… yeah, I guess,” she said quietly as she slowly entered the household. Though really, she didn’t see much purpose for staying now that back-up had arrived. “By the looks of it,” she looked to the hot pink apron fastened to his front with a laugh, “you and Gai-sensei have got a handle on things. I think we’ll just go back to the Hokage Tower or something to request some other mission.”

Lee didn’t like the direction in which things were headed. “Could you not just stay here?” he asked disappointedly, coupled with an inward tilt of the eyebrows. “I am sure that Hiroshi-sama would not mind.”

Sakura shook her head, “By the sound of it… I honestly don’t think the man will want to pay us now, let alone keep us on his property!”

Rock Lee opened his mouth, though he was cut off with another girl’s cry of “Look Neji! Sakura’s here!”

A stubborn Hyuga rag doll tugged haplessly at the hand by one very giggly Tenten suddenly appeared at the doorway at Lee’s side.

“Oh, hiya Tenten!” Sakura waved at the other girl half-heartedly and then at Neji. “Hey Neji. I didn‘t realize you two were here, too!”

Neji, having long ago deemed Sakura as not worthy of wasting his oh-so-superior breath on, simply nodded at her-- or just in her general direction(Sakura wasn’t really sure). Tenten was another story. “What‘s going on!” the brunette smiled.

“Nothing interesting,” Sakura replied tentatively, but with good reason. Even though Tenten wasn’t as obnoxious as Ino when it came down to senseless gabbling, she was still a well informed rumormonger in the village’s gossip circle. And with that being the case, Sakura expected more than a couple of hinthint comments about her mystery ‘sugar daddy’(so Choji kindly put it).

She was mildly surprised when Tenten didn’t say anything about that. And she was even more surprised when instead the girl flung her arms around Neji’s waist and tucked her head to his shoulder. Batting her lashes, and oblivious to Neji’s uncomfortable fidgets, she smiled, “Sakuraaaa! Guess what?”

It amazed Sakura that Neji hadn’t chakra spin topped Tenten that very moment like he’d done Naruto that time at the first chunin examination. But after a single moment’s contemplation, she put two and two together…

For the sake of not bursting Tenten’s bubble, Sakura mechanically echoed, “What?” Little did she know that with her simplistic question of “what” that the gleeful Tenten before her would none too enthusiastically spill her guts. She should have guessed as much.

“Neji… he asked me out!” she shrilled.

“He's right here, and no. You asked me out,” Neji huffed. “Now, would you kindly remove your hands from me? As I recall, under the terms of our discussion, we aren’t to be seen publicly displaying affectio--”

Apparently, Tenten didn’t seem to hear the poor Hyuga boy as she simply hugged him tighter and continued, “We’ve been going out for two whole weeks! Can you believe it? We’re already serious!”

“Wow, I’m-- I’m glad for you guys!” Sakura smiled, and though she resented herself for it, she was jealous of Tenten. Not exactly of Neji, but the fact that Tenten had finally er-- been asked out by the boy that she’d been chasing for years. For that reason Sakura envied her.

She didn’t know why she suddenly felt this way when she hadn’t sought after Sasuke in ages. But perhaps the idea that Tenten’s feelings had remained adamant throughout years of enduring consistent rejections from her crush was an undeniably attractive aspect… especially when it all paid off in the end.

Sakura vaguely wondered how she did it. She wondered… how Tenten got a boy like Neji to like her-- or more accurately in this case, consent to dating her. This time, oddly enough, Sakura’s mind didn’t immediately think back to Sasuke, but instead, Sakura realized -- with an alarming clarity on her part -- that it was Kakashi.

“You know what Lee?” Sakura suddenly found herself saying to spite her mind, “If he will still have us, I think I will stick around for a while.”

“Wahoo!” Lee whooped before he took Sakura’s hands into his own. Coupled with tear-brimming eyes and that manly-man pink apron, he was the epitome of masculinity as he sniffed, “Thank you Sakura! You do not know how much this means to me!”

Alright. So anyone could have guessed what kind of impact saying this would have on Lee. But somehow, in the mind that had recently become…decidedly twisted with incessant exposure to too much Kakashi, Sakura figured that some time with other male life forms could prove to be the necessary medicine that could set her spoiled thoughts right again.

-

Somewhere a few feet away, despite the intelligible grunts and whinging that attacked his ears, Kakashi‘s eyes widened in their own refined version of a panic from what he’d just heard. “Sakura… she can’t be serious.”

This D-ranked mission had jumped to A-ranked in a matter a seconds in Kakashi’s mind, or rather, his ‘warped mind’ as Sakura would later come to describe it...

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A/N: Sorry for the delay. At any rate, hope you enjoyed it. :P