Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Kokoro no Kizu, Wounds of the Heart ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4

 

//….// means thoughts.

 

Sasuke, I know you are alone and you're suffering. When we fought back at the grocery store, I tried to reach you and get you to hear me. But you didn't. I wanted your heart to listen. You stand so far away, cloaked in the darkness around you. That's why you can't hear me. Your pain traps you a prison that shut out the world, and all in it including me. No matter how hard I cry you can't hear me. Only an echo answers back.

 

I understand your pain. Before Iruka-sensei loved me I felt isolated, suffering from loneliness. When he hugged me, a great love overflowed in me healing all that pain. For the first time in life I felt happy, knowing someone cared. I had a reason to exist and I was loved. Without love what reason would I have to live? None. Life would be pure suffering. And nobody wants a life like that right Sasuke?

 

When we kissed and our eyes first met, they told me you knew what true loneliness was. The more you suffered, the more I desired to reach out and help you. That's why in the grocery store I just couldn't leave you alone. I saw myself in you, the little boy that's sad crying out the darkness. I want to hug him and make the pain go away. Maybe then you'll smile and even like me, Sasuke. I will save you from your loneliness and will never give up or go back on my word, because it's my way of the ninja.

 

“Naruto-kun?” Iruka stopped momentarily by the benches where we sat before, setting down the groceries.

 

“Iruka-sensei.” I grinned, trying to hide my thoughts about Sasuke. “Let's get going.”

 

“Something's wrong Naruto-kun. You've always been bad at hiding things,” Iruka said, ruffling my hair.

 

“Well, we had a small fight. But it's no big deal. Uzumaki Naruto won't let a thing like that ruin his day!” I nodded, placing one hand on my hip, pointing the other at Iruka.

 

He sighed, glancing down at me. “If you're hurt, its okay, Naruto-kun. I can tell there's something you want from Sasuke and you're not getting it.”

 

“Yeah, there is,” I admitted.

 

“What's the matter, dobe?” A condescending voice called out. Sasuke stood there casually in the entrance of the grocery store, hands in his pockets, cold as usual. “Naruto-kun, you may feel we share a bond, but I don't. And as far as I'm concerned, we never will.”

 

“Sasuke-kun.” I paced up to him, our eyes locked instantly, each searching and questioning the other desperately. “Why?”

 

Sasuke broke off eye contact, walking past Iruka and I. “Bonds only cause suffering in life. The only bonds I ever had I lost. So I'd rather live without them.”

 

“I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun.” I approached him from behind and slid my arms around him, resting my chin on his shoulder.

 

//I keep trying to push him away. It just won't work. Even though I acted like a real bastard at Ichiraku, and just before in the grocery he doesn't give up. I guess he really cares about me, but I've never had anyone care. We're both lonely and suffering. Maybe that's the bond he refers to? A part of me wants his friendship. That's why I kissed him back at the ramen bar. But at the same time, a part of me is scared and so I pushed him away. I'm scared because if I grew closer to him and he died, I'd suffer again loosing another bond//, Sasuke realized at least.

 

“Let me go, idiot,” Sasuke growled, shoving me away.

 

I held him tighter. “No. If I do you'll fall back in the darkness, and I can't let it take you.”

 

“Darkness? What do you mean?”

 

“The darkness is the loneliness and pain of being alone. Iruka-sensei's love rescued me from that hell. Without it I wouldn't have any reason to live or exist. Before he loved me, I hated the world and couldn't understand why the world hated me. All it took was one person, my sensei, to love me and change my life. Because of him I know I'm not alone. And when I look at you, Sasuke-kun, I see my old lonely self, and it kills me. That's why I want to save you.”

 

Sasuke turned around in my grasp, now face to face with me. He lowered his head remaining silent. The edges of his lips curled down and he gazed out blankly through half lidded eyes, his expression solemn.

 

Just as his mood changed so did the weather. Moisture thickened the air, gray clouds rolled over blocking out the sun and the people retreated. Small droplets fell in a gradual drizzle.

 

Tears welled in Sasuke's downcast eyes, threatening to spill over from the rims that struggled to contain them. Out of the corner of his left eye, the tears damned up and flowed over down his pale cheek hit by rain.

 

“Oh, Sasuke-kun.” I hugged him tightly, feeling his body heat against mine through our half wet clothes.

 

“Under here, guys.” Iruka leaned over us, with an umbrella in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. “Let's head back to my place and I'll make ramen for both of you.”

 

“Thank you, sensei.” I smiled, wanting to cry tears of joy. “That's so kind of you.”

 

Iruka returned the smile. “Anything for my son.”

 

TBC…