Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Konoha High ❯ Konoha High ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto and blah blah blah
P.S. Just so you don't get confused, in MY story Sakura and Naruto are siblings...^_^
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The Den is a student-frequented coffeehouse in Konoha, not particularly clean on the outside or inside for that matter. Music is coming from inside. On stage, Spiral (a rock band composed of students) is performing the music, finishing up a song. The singer and lead guitarist is Naruto Uzumaki. He is accompanied instrumentally by his best friend Sasuke Uchiha (electric bass), his sister Sakura Uzumaki (rhythm guitar), and his other best friend, Gaara (drum pads).
Naruto is a eighteen-year-old guy. Typically the loudest person you can find, his clothes are usually plain but his shoulder-length blonde hair in disarray and with three earrings in each ear and Maori tattoos on his arms. His voice is loud as loud can get, his movements: fast, with a fire in his blue eyes, one that allows him to explode into action when music or situation demands it.
Sasuke is a eighteen-year-old. Expressive and sensual, dark and mysterious. Wears dark baggy clothing all in black. His eyes move probingly when he looks at something, always noting details, his hands always moving with precision. Hot beyond hotness. Doesn't care about being popular and good looking. Well mostly.
Sakura Uzumaki is a seventeen-year-old. With short pink hair and emerald eyes. Like Sasuke she uses lots of black clothing including black cargo's a black tube top and some converse chuck taylor all star. Projecting sex and ruthlessness at the same time.
Gaara is a eighteen-year-old. Always in all black, with long, fiery-red hair, a Goth. Feared by most except his closest friends Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura
The audience consists of high school and college students. As Spiral finishes, the audience applauds.
Naruto: Thank you, all. You've been a great audience. Good night.
As the band starts to pack up their equipment. Hanabi Hyuuga, a perky seventeen-year-old, enters. Bananarama's "Venus" begins playing. Her movements are shown in slow motion as she confidently approaches the stage, Naruto virtually staring at her. There is a sparkle in her eye and a bit of a fiendish smile on her face as her mane of black hair flows about her face and her thoracic endowments bounce within her pink baby tee. Fade out music.
Sasuke(sarcastically): Great. Hanabi Hyuuga.
Hanabi(Ignoring everyone else around him): Hello, Naruto.
Naruto: Uh, hi Hanabi.
Hanabi: I really enjoyed tonight's performance. That last song was amazing.
Naruto: It's nothing, really. Just a bunch of ramblings I patched together.
Hanabi: On the contrary, it was a hauntingly beautiful expression of the loneliness of human existence. (pause) You know, I can help you overcome that problem.
Naruto: Well--
Sasuke approaches.
Sasuke: Yo, Naruto. Can I have a word with you for a moment?
Naruto: Sure.
Sasuke and Naruto rejoin the other members of the band.
Sakura: What did we tell you about Hanabi?
Naruto(his heart not in it): She's bad news.
Sasuke: Well, remember that! You know how many relationships she's wrecked?
Naruto: That's just a rumor.
Sakura: It's not just a rumor. She's tried coming between me and Sasuke.
Gaara: She's as bad as Temari, the original frost queen, man. And I know how bad she is considering Temari IS my sister, and "President" of the Fashion Org.
Naruto: I've told you a thousand times, we're not compatible.
Sakura: Just stay away from the little tramp. She deserves to suffer and you know it.
They all nodded.
Naruto: Who do you think you people are? My mother? or worse Tsunade!?
Sasuke: Nope, Tsunade would never lecture you to stay away from Hanabi.
Naruto: Exact--
Sasuke (with a smile before Naruto could finish his sentence): She would beat you up then tell you not to trust her.
Naruto shoots and evil glare at Sasuke.
Sakura(Giving up): Fine. Go ahead and date Hanabi. She'll just suck your blood out like Temari did.
Naruto (shuddering): That's a scary thought.
Sakura says bored: Well, think long and hard, young man. It's about time you started thinking with your brain.
Naruto sighs and walks back towards Hanabi.
Naruto: Sorry, Hanabi. I've got family stuff to take care of tonight.
Hanabi: But--
Naruto: Sorry.
Naruto walks away from Hanabi. Hanabi turns to leave herself when she is confronted by Temari. Temari is a seventeen-year-old, beautiful but obviously cunning, with piercing eyes. She is always stylishly dressed, always looking immaculate, strutting confidently, an obvious danger.
Temari: Hanabi, haven't we talked about your problem before?
Hanabi: What problem?
Temari: Your relentless pursuit of Naruto. It is in extremely bad taste for you to actively pursue him. You should be making him pursue you.
Hanabi: He's different from most other guys, and that means he requires a different approach.
Temari: Your "innovation" comes close to desperation, Hanabi. Make sure you don't cross over that thin line. The Fashion Club has standards that must be adhered to.
(walks away from Hanabi and meets with Kiba Inuzuka)
Kiba is an eighteen-year-old. Star football player. Arrogant, stupid, prone to outbursts of violence. Blindly faithful to Temari.
Temari: Ready to go, Kiba?
Kiba (as he and Temari walk away): I know this nice, quiet place not too far from that pathetic Ramen shop...
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Sayuri Hyuuga (Hanabi's mother, shotgun), Hizashi Hyuuga (Sayuri's husband, Hanabi's father; Hiashi's younger brother, driving), Neji and Hanabi (back-seat) are present. Sayuri is a workaholic lawyer with periodic episodes of conscience over ignoring her family; she has a deep-seated need to dominate others. Hizashi is a conservative consultant who becomes easily distressed at anything from outside his own private world; he is fairly gullible and changes his beliefs, once adopted, slowly, even in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence. Sayuri and Hizashi are dressed for a funeral; Hanabi, though in black, is dressed too fashionably for the occasion; Neji, eighteen year old, is also in the back, wearing a simple black suit, he too is interested in knowing what's become of Hinata. Hinata was his favorite cousin and he was praying hard to god that Hinata wouldn't be like Hanabi. Neji is a tall shy guy who rarely talks to anyone besides Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Gaara.
Hizashi: I can't believe my weird brother and his wife would do something so stupid, Sayuri!
Sayuri: Hizashi, there's not much we can do about it now. How were they supposed to know such a freak accident would happen? All we can do now is be supportive of Hinata in this time of crisis.
Hanabi: What's she like these days, anyway? We haven't seen her in about five or six years right Neji?
Neji: hn
Hanabi rolls her eyes
Hizashi: Well, would you want to get near your weird in-laws? Your aunt tried to make us eat crickets!
Sayuri: Hizashi!
(beat)I talked to Aya (Hizashi's sister) about Hinata on the phone. She said that Hinata is very intellectual, a straight-A student, and has a position on the school paper at Shinobi High as fashion editor.
Hanabi: Sounds like she may even have improved. We should get along nicely then.
Neji (decides to finally jump into the converstion): Well I guess she's just either A. another stupid follower to add to the Fashion Club Hanabi. Or B. A total nerd who is another stupid follower which you might want to add to the Fashion Club. As for the crickets I rather enjoyed them.
Hanabi: Neji! EWWW ur disgusting! Thank God I wasn't borned yet! Oh and we aren't a club! We're an organization!
Neji (as he puts on his headphones and begins to play his Marilyn Manson cd): Yea and pigs fly.
Hanabi: MOM! Neji is slowly turning into a Satanic Head Banger in front of your own eyes and you don't even notice!
Sayuri(Not listening to Hanabi): Yea that's nice honey.
Hizashi however heard her causing him to brake instantly in the middle of traffic.
Hizashi: Satanic WHAT???
Neji: Oh no here we go again.....


The Uzumaki house, Hallway outside Naruto's Room.
Tenten a brown haired girl exits from Naruto's room, barely dressed and without makeup, soon followed by a barely dressed Naruto, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging open in front.
Naruto: I'm sorry, Tenten, but this off-again, on-again relationship doesn't work.
Tenten: It would if you wanted it to!
They proceed towards the kitchen
Naruto: It's just.....(beat).....I can't live on an emotional roller-coaster. With you it's either ecstasy or depression and nothing in between. And when I can't deliver ecstasy continually, you get mad.
They enter the kitchen.
Tenten: Can't take the pressure?
Naruto(smacking a counter): Yes! I can't go full tilt all night, every night! No man can!
Tenten: Then why bother doing it with me last night?
Naruto: I'm human, I'm susceptible to temptation, and I make stupid mistakes. And you're the same way.
Tenten clearly wants to make a snappy retort but can't think of one, so she picks up a vase with flowers in it and throws it at Naruto. Naruto ducks as Tenten leaves through the back door.


Many relatives of Akemi and Hiashi are present: Hinata (dressed all in black, looking especially grim) Hizashi, Sayuri, Hanabi, Neji, Aya Yuu (Hizashi's sister), Yoshito Yuu(Aya's husband), the latter two's children Hoshi and Aron, and Hoshi's boyfriend Kenji(along for moral support, dressed like a Man in Black). Aron is a big fan of King Solomon's philosophy and considers much of human behavior preposterous; he always speaks in a monotone; among all the people in the room, he is the only one who really understands Hinata. All present are wearing dark clothes, looking morose, and talking quietly among themselves.
Hinata(to Aron): Great. Not only do I have to go through the suffering of losing both of my parents in a freak accident--as a result of their trying to make an affirmation of life on their twentieth wedding anniversary--but now I'm stuck with having to move in with an aunt and uncle and cousins I don't even like.
Aron: Look on the bright side, Hinata. If you get stuck with my parents, at least we'll be able to team up against Hoshi immediately. And Hoshi will probably marry her boyfriend Kenji soon, so she'll move out and it'll be just us.
Hinata: And what's the bright side if I get stuck with Sayuri and Hizashi oh and not to mention Hanabi and Neji?
Hanabi(approaches Hinata): Hinata? Is that you?
Hinata: No, it's a hologram.
Hanabi: But you look so--(beat)drab.
Hinata: So? You look overdressed for the occasion. Going to a cocktail party after this?
Hanabi: You were a lot more fashionable the last time we met. What Aunt Aya told my mom about you being the fashion editor of your school paper has to be a mistake.
Hinata: It's not. I got stuck with the job because I'm the only female on staff. As for me not being fashionable now, if you haven't noticed, we were just at my parents' funeral.
Hanabi: But you could still dress with a little style.
Hinata: Oh Dear me! What was I thinking? Why didn't I find the time today to do that? Besides the funeral and meeting to discuss all the legal mumbo-jumbo, I'm building a replica of the Washington Monument from popsicle sticks and cleaning the oil off of a hundred baby seals.
Hanabi: Ugh!(walks away)
Aron: Could be worse. She could be a pure fashion-freak rather than one who at least knows something.
Hinata: Wait until she finds out what I did with that pink, frilly dress of mine she liked so much.
Enter Chris Schaffer, a lawyer in an expensive suit.
Chris: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please?
Everyone quiets down.
Chris: I'm Eric Schaeffer, Hiashi and Akemi Hyuuga's attorney. Our first order of business is the custody of Hinata Hyuuga.According to the official documentation,(pulls out several papers and reads):
"In the event of their untimely death, neither of them surviving, they would prefer that none of their siblings get custody of Hinata. Akemi has been blessed in this respect, being an orphan. Hiashi is not so fortunate, being cursed with a sister and brother who are total and utter jerks. But since they have to choose, and since Aya is a ditz and her husband Yoshito is a money-grubbing scum, they choose the lesser of two evils and grant custody to Hizashi--otherwise known as 'the Complete Doofus'--and his wife Sayuri--also known as 'the Obsessive-Compulsive Controlling Lawyer Freak."
Aron(to Hinata not knowing whether to laugh or not): You are now entering Hell.
Hinata(to Aron): Please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times.


Enter The Hyuuga House, Living Room.
Enter Hizashi, Sayuri, Temari, Neji and Hinata through the front door, everyone carrying at least one piece of luggage. Hizashi is groaning under the weight of a heavy trunk.
Hizashi: Oh, man! Hinata, what did you put inside this trunk?
Hinata: Only my collection of lead bricks.
Neji smiles at Hinata's sarcasm. He was thrilled that someone like him was going to be living with him. He knew that Hinata thought he was some stuck up jock just because he was on the football team. What she didn't know though was that he was only in the team because his parents made him get in it. He prefered to just hang out with his friends in their usual alley or in the park than being with the team.
Hanabi: What's with the sarcasm? Have you turned into a total geek since the last time I saw you?
Sayuri: Hanabi!
Hanabi: Sorry, Mom. It's a valid question.
Hizashi: Let's just get this stuff upstairs. I'm tired and want to go to bed...
Hizashi(struggling with the trunk):Ow! I think I hurt something in my back.
Hinata: We'll get you a new one for your birthday.
(looks inside the first room on the left)Hey! What's in here?
(turns on light, revealing a padded room with bars in the windows)Cool.
Hanabi: It's just the room where Grandma Ruth spent the last few years of her life as an elderly shut-in. It gives me the creeps.
Sayuri: Hizashi and I haven't gotten around to redecorating it yet. You can use the guest room at the other end of the hall.
Hinata shrugs. Hinata and the Michaelises move down to the other end of the hall to the guest room. Hinata flicks on the light and looks in on a perfectly normal boring room.
Hinata: I'd rather have the other room. It suits my personality better.
Temari: But it's so
(beat)warped!
Hinata: What better for an acknowledged cynic?
Hizashi groans.
Sayuri: Are you really sure?
Hinata: Positive. My anatomically correct plastic skull and poster of Dante's skeleton being dug up don't go at all with the wallpaper and the drapes.
(to Hizashi)Don't worry; I'll drag my trunk all the way to the other end of the hall.
Hizashi: Thank you!
(exits)
Neji: I'll drag it there Hinata.
Sayuri: If that's what you want. Just call us if there's anything you need.
(exits carrying whatever bags are in her hands)
Hanabi: What happened to you? You used to be this happy kid, but now, you're(beat)scary. You're just like Neji! Is this some sort of reaction to your parents' death?
Hinata: Believe me: I've been like this for years.
Hanabi: What happened to the star of the dance recital?
Hinata: Oh she's dancing somewhere in hell.
(Neji grabs the trunk and exits)
Neji: So...
Hinata: So...
Neji: Welcome to hell. You will be forced to put your feet inside the ride at all times. You know my wish got granted.
Hinata: What do you mean?
Neji: I was mercilessly praying that you weren't another stuck up chick like Hanabi. This is going to be fun.
Hinata (smiling back): I can barely wait...
At least he's not some uptight jock....Hinata thought as she closed the door to her new room.


Hizashi's Lexus.
Hizashi is driving Hinata, Neji and Hanabi to school. Neji's car was in the shop.
Hizashi: I know that going to a new school can be a stressful experience, Hinata--
Hinata rolls her eyes.
Hizashi: --but we're all here to help you get through it.
Hanabi: Don't worry; we'll have you settled in in no time. You'll be out of your funk and wearing something colorful before you know it.
Hinata: It's been only a week since my parents' death--a very slow week--and already you expect me to be finished mourning. That's a little much, even from a progidy.
Hanabi: Not literally no time. Konoha High isn't so bad; the teachers are easy to manipulate. Half are spineless pushovers; the rest are wackos who haven't a clue what anyone's saying anyway.
Hinata: Just what I need: teachers less-educated than I am. That's a great way to learn anything. I should have taken that offer from the Grove Hills School for the Gifted when I had the chance. I don't suppose the students here are also shallow and snobbish?
Hanabi: The other students at Konoha High are nothing like that.
Hinata turns to stare at Neji. Neji just nods back.
Hinata: That's easy; as long as they're not suffering from lead poisoning, they'll be at least smarter than most of the people in Shinobi High.
Hanabi(trying to be supportive): If you need any help learning the ropes, just ask.
The car pulls up at the curb by Konoha High School, where Hanabi's friends: Temari, Ino, Tenten and several other students are standing. Tenten is a sixteen-year-old, a perky brunette, but always nervous, as if expecting predators to strike at any moment. Ino is a seventeen-year-old, pretty but tense, with an almost mechanical quality, a babe with the spirit of a general, always looking for the advantage. Hinata and Temari get out of the car.
Temari: Hey, Hanabi! Who's that?
Hanabi: My cousin Hinata.
(whispers)Her parents fell onto a cow. Fashion trauma.
Many of the students shudder.
Ino(to Hinata): It'll pass--I think.
Hinata(to Hizashi): I'm sure Hanabi will be a real help.
(shuts car door)

Push It by Garbage begins to play.
Hinata is walking through the halls, seeing lots of the student body. Anton Creed, the custodian, is waxing the floor. Hinata stares at Naruto, getting stuff out of his locker, in attraction as she walks by. Groups in the hallways: 1) Sasuke and Sakura kissing, 2) Itachi Uchiha and Star Pavlov sucking face, 3) Tobi, Deidara, and Kisame (AKA the D.A. short for dumbasses) talking, 4) Kiba Inuzuka and Jamie Ford arguing with Sasori and Samantha, 5) Kankurou trying to shove Art Wilcox into a locker and getting kicked for it by Hillary James and Josie White, 6) Ted Menten and Evan Roberts laughing at what's happening around them. Neji just stands there yawning next to Naruto, 7) Hanabi, Temari, Ino, and Tenten (AKA the Fashion Org) discussing what they're wearing, 8)Shino Aburame standing next to his locker. Hinata finally reaches the right room.
Creed is a quiet man, a Russian immigrant. He has a passion for cleanliness and hates it when people walk over an area of floor he has just cleaned.
Itachi is a nineteen-year-old. (Stupid as stupid can get, failed a few years) Football player. Some semblance of muscles. Obviously stupid, probably from the cumulative effects of ramming his head into things many times, oblivious, insensitive, and self-centered. Also, Sasuke's big brother.
Star is a seventeen-year-old. Cheerleader, appearing pathologically naïve and upbeat, but prone to violent outbursts if crossed. A complete bimbo. Blue belt in karate. Sounds squeaky and slightly drugged. Became head cheerleader in her freshmen year. A conspiracy was claimed to have been in effect during that year's vote as head cheerleader.
Tobi, Deidara, and Kisame are seventeen-year-olds. Football players. Not particularly bright and fairly interchangeable. Always seen together.
Brook is a seventeen-year-old. Cheerleader, obsessed with her appearance. Very insecure since that botched nose-job.
Sasori is a seventeen-year-old. Football player.(Besides Neji)Much smarter than the rest of the team put together. Hates Itachi.
Samantha likes to be known as Sam is a seventeen-year-old. President of the student council. Obsessive-compulsive about doing well academically.
Kankurou is a eighteen-year-old. Always dressed stylishly, and bearing a grin, trying to portray himself as suave and sophisticated but often coming off as a pedophile. Highly creative, intelligent, and perverted. Black belt in karate, but unable to take even defensive action against any female he's interested in. Specialty : Eavesdropping and being an "Innocent-by-stander" in the girls locker room. In other words a pervert.
Art is a sixteen-year-old. Stereotypical geek. Believes he was abducted by space aliens.
Hillary is a seventeen-year-old. Mischievous outcast. Likes to incite riots, stand back, and watch the fur fly. Wears only grayscale.
Josie is an eighteen-year-old. Outcast, with antisocial tendencies in the presence of idiots. Into counterculture, wears leather. Hangs out with Hillary.
Corey is a sixteen-year-old. Likes electronics. No personality. Couldn't tell a joke if his life depended upon it.
Evan is a seventeen-year-old. Track star. Student body secretary. Smooth-talking. Slow to admit he's done something stupid.
Robert is an eighteen-year-old. Connoisseur of beer. Member of the Fencing Club. Idiot.
Neji is a eighteen-year-old. Captain of the Fencing Club and fan of anything more than 200 years old. Knows martial arts, Latin, and carpentry. Football player. Straight A student. Shy. Part of the Outcast group. Geeky but cool.
Shino is an eighteen-year-old. Heavy metal guitarist. Way too many tattoos. Bad attitude. Oozes disgust.

Konoha High School, hallway.
Hinata and a few other new students are touring the school with Principal Tsunade.
Principal Tsunade is a Third-World dictator without a country, obsessed with making Konoha High School look as good as possible, especially if she doesn't actually have to improve the school.
Principal Tsunade: At Konoha High, we are deeply concerned with the mental health of our students, which is why all new students take a psychological exam so as to better tailor their high school experience to their needs.
Hinata: I need to drink the blood of school psychologists. Can you provide me with a few donors?
Principal Tsunade(under her breath): I've got a bad feeling about this one
.(normally) Now, if you'll follow me, on the left you'll see Konoha High's collection of football trophies...

Konoha High School, School Psychologist: Mr. Orochimaru's Office
Mr. Orochimaru is the school psychologist, confident in himself to the point of being conceited, a know-it-all, and a drunk in denial. Hinata is sitting across the table from Mr. Orochimaru. The table's top is covered with small holes, as if a lot of nails have been hammered into it and pulled out.
Mr. Orochimaru: Now, Hina, let's see if you can make up a story about what's in this picture.
(holds up a crude picture of two people talking)
Hinata(taking reading glasses out of her purse and putting them on):It's Hinata. Don't you know those tests don't tell you anything?
Mr. Orochimaru: I'm the psychologist, not you. So what do you see in this picture, Holly?
Hinata: Hinata! The stains of two incompetent psychologists splattered across the pavement after being run over by steamrollers.
Mr. Orochimaru: Stop being snide. It's two people talking, Hilda.
Hinata: It's a Rorschach test. What it is is bound only by one's imagination.
Mr. Orochimaru: Wrong test, my dear girl, These are two people talking.
Hinata: Ah. One of those tests. All right then. It's two people talking about the stains of two incompetent psychologists splattered across the pavement after being run over by steamrollers.
Mr. Orochimaru scowls: No no no! It's..
hic..two people...hic...talking can't you...hic...
snore
The shrink falls to the floor hugging his bottle of booze...
Hinata: Great.


Mr.Iruka is the history teacher, an angry, middle-aged man in an ill-fitting suit, a pot waiting to boil, easily set off by the slightest thing. Hinata (wearing her reading glasses, sitting in the front row), Sasuke, Sakura, Brook, and Star are present, among others. The board has a number of words on it, including "Hitler", "Weimar Republic", "Treaty of Versailles", "SA", "paramilitary organizations", and "National Socialism".
Haku is an eighteen-year-old. Student body treasurer. Is ordinately fascinated with tollbooths. Hates cheerleaders, especially Brook.
Mr. Iruka: Class, please welcome our new student, Hinata Hyuuga.
other students (all eyes on Hinata, deadpan) Hi, Hinata.
Hinata: Uh, hi.
Mr. Iruka(sarcastically): I'm perfectly certain that all of you brilliant students bothered to read the chapter I assigned to you to read for today. Jamie White, what was the chapter on?
JAMIE: I, uh, wanted to read it but, uh, I had other things to do.
Mr. Iruka: I see. And what exactly was it that required so much of your attention that you could not read fifteen pages?
Jamie: I was going to do it, but this thing came up, this, uh, very important thing, and, uh...
Mr. Iruka: Save your creativity for English class! Itachi, perhaps you know more than your teammate on the subject!
Itachi(to Star): What did he say, babe?
Mr. Iruka: Tenten, how about you? Tell us about the chapter you so diligently read!
Tenten is staring off into space while writing something.
Mr. Iruka(approaching): Tenten! Are you paying attention?
Tenten: Huh? Oh, um, yeah, sure I am.
Mr. Iruka: Since you obviously weren't, what, pray tell, were you taking notes on?
(takes Tenten's tablet, looks at it, reads)
"Neji, Neji, Neji, Neji, Neji, Neji..." hmm...sounds very intellectual. You, Haku, what was the chapter on?
Haku: Um, it was the Weimar Republic, wasn't it?
Mr. Iruka: Very good, Haku! I'm glad someone actually bothered to open the book! And it only took going through half a dozen people to get to that point! Now, Haku, please enlighten us what you learned by your deep and thorough reading!
Haku(nervously): It, um, was about...
Hinata(deadpan, monotoned recitation): The Weimar Republic was the government in Germany following the First World War. Even though it was democratic, it was notoriously unpopular. This, combined with poor living conditions, worsened by the Great Depression, the embarrassment of the Treaty of Versailles, the fear of communism, and the right-wing and authoritarian elements of the culture at the time, created the conditions for the rise to power of radical elements, including the Nazi party.
All eyes are on Hinata again.
Hinata(surprised): What?

Back To The Hyuuga House, Kitchen.
Hinata and the other Hyuuga's are sitting around the dinner table eating lasagna and bacon. Sayuri is largely absorbed writing something on a tablet computer similar to those used by students in class. Hanabi isn't eating much.
Hanabi: It was just a normal day. Three A's back on various assignments. Getting bugged by Star to join the cheerleading squad. Asked out by six boys--
Hizashi: So, Hinata, how was your first day?
Hinata: The people in my classes are stupid, and the teachers are twisted and evil.
Hizashi: Hinata! Don't judge people until you know them. You're in a brand new school in a brand new town. Do you want a repeat of Shinobi High? What your Aunt Aya told me--
Hinata: It WAS a repeat of Shinobi High. The only thing now to make it complete would be for you guys to go skydiving and land on a cow.
Hizashi: Come on, Hinata. Not everyone could have been that bad.
Hinata: Even the faculty was that bad. I was tested by a psychologist who needed his own head examined. He had me look at a picture of two people and tell me what I saw in it. Have you ever heard of anything so lame?
Sayuri: Wait a minute. You said you took a psychological test today?
Hinata: Yes.
Sayuri (brings up a document on her computer and hands it to Hinata): I got an E-mail this afternoon about it. Mr. Orochimaru, the school psychologist, said he wants you to take a special class.
Hanabi: Good God, Hinata! Don't tell me he wants you to take remedial classes. You couldn't have become that stupid since we last saw you! Right Neji?
Neji: hn
Hinata(looking over the message): It's worse. They think I have poor self-esteem and want me to take a class to make me feel better about myself.
Hizashi(sarcastically): Low self-esteem!? wow, Hinata, that sucks!
Sayuri: Hizashi!
Hanabi: Poor Hinata...
Hinata: It's not as if anyone ought to be expecting me to feel happy so soon after my parents die in a gruesome accident. Besides, you're taking the word of an idiot over what should be obvious.
Hizashi: Huh?
Neji breaks out laughing at his family's stupidity: Don't you get it? Hinata has low esteem for people who administer self-esteem tests.
Hinata just nods.
Everyone starts talking about something else.