Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Kuubi no Cabbit ❯ Life Lessons ( Chapter 3 )

Kyuubi no Cabbit

Chapter 3: Demon-spawn

 

(Part of this chapter was borrowed from S'Tarkan's Team 8. Other parts were more than likely borrowed through source amnesia. As such, nothing belongs to me, probably not even my original ideas. As a minor note, this story has surpassed my other story in every category except number of chapters and reviews. It is already longer than Redheads and Succubi, so the first is not a concern, and the second is up to you, the readers.)

 

“Girls, it's time to get up,” Nodoka called from the doorway. The three girls rolled away from one another and sat up in the bed.

“Eh? Why am I sticky?” Naruto asked, causing the other girls in the bed to become mortified. Luckily, Nodoka had already left and had not heard Naruto's question.

“Come on, Naruto, we need to get ready to go,” Ino said quickly, dodging the question for the moment. She pushed Naruto into the bathroom and said, “You shower first, and hurry!” After the bathroom door was closed and the water in the shower was running, Ino turned to Hinata and asked, “How did he spend an accumulated one hundred twenty some odd days in a library and never read about human anatomy?”

“I have no idea,” Hinata admitted. She then asked, “Are you really willing to share Naruto-kun?”

“If the other option is to not have him at all? Definitely.” After a moment, Ino continued, “If Naruto hadn't asked me what I wanted in a guy, I would have never even considered him. I want a nice, caring, brave, handsome, intelligent guy who makes me feel safe. Naruto is very kind and caring, no one can deny that. He is also handsome, in a wild, animalistic way. His intelligence might be lacking at the moment, but we can work on that. Though the one thing that really attracts me to him is how safe he makes me feel. I've never felt safer than when he held me in his arms during our first dream.”

“Good,” Hinata said. “I'd rather share him than lose him as well. Let's just try to keep the number of girls after him down, ne?”

“Hai,” Ino agreed. Soon Naruto was done in the shower and Hinata and Ino prepared for the day.

As the three girls were eating breakfast, Inoichi came in with a cup of tea and asked, “So, how was the dream last night, girls?” The only answer he received was a set of blushes. “I figured as much. So, Naruto, you aren't a vegetable, right?”

“No, sir, I'm fine now,” Naruto replied.

“Good, good. I wouldn't want my daughter to have to find a new man already,” Inoichi replied with a smirk. Three girls immediately started coughing. “Oh, and Hinata, you might want to learn how to not talk in your sleep.” As the girls turned an even brighter red, Inoichi laughed and left to get to work. The girls quickly finished their meals and left to the training ground.

“Ah, Naruto, it's good to see your brain wasn't fried,” Kurenai said merrily as the Genin approached. Naruto just glared at her.

“So, how was your night?” Anko asked.

“Pretty nice,” Naruto admitted. “Though I would like to know why I woke up sticky.” The girls were but a second too late in covering Naruto's mouth, allowing the two instructors to hear the question.

“I'm not answering that,” Anko stated. “Go make some clones and have them read up on anatomy and human physiology in the library.”

“Hai!” Naruto said before following the not quite orders. “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” One hundred clones appeared and stampeded to the library, the original leading the charge.

“Oh no,” Kurenai moaned softly. “Anko, you may have just created a monster pervert.”

“If he becomes a pervert, we'll just beat it out of him,” Ino said firmly. Hinata nodded savagely in agreement.

“Well, the next mission is to deliver groceries to an old woman, who I know lost her husband and sons to the Kyuubi, so it may be for the best if Naruto isn't with us,” Kurenai admitted. “Besides, she doesn't want much, so we can easily handle it.”

In the library, one hundred one Naruto were pouring over every book regarding anatomy they could find. They read everything from medical papers to textbooks, and the original found a little orange book, called “Icha Icha Paradise”. She got about two pages in before she started to turn green and had to put the book down. She might have made it further into the book had it not been for the inclusion of a blond haired female, whose personality struck just a little too close to home for the misgendered shinobi.

After an hour of mass reading, Kurenai arrived at the library. When she saw a flash or orange darker than Naruto's jumpsuit next to the girl, she became enraged. Marching over to Naruto, she grabbed onto her collar and dragged the girl outside and into an alley. “What were you doing reading that book?” she demanded.

“What book?” Naruto asked, as she had been reading a book on medicinal plants when Kurenai grabbed her.

“That orange piece of trash! Why were you reading it?” Kurenai clarified angrily.

“Well, it was in the anatomy section, so I thought it might help,” Naruto explained. She began to shiver as she continued, “ Oh, Kami! I only read two pages before I couldn't take anymore.” Here Naruto began to sob lightly. “How could anyone do that to a girl? It was horrible!” Naruto broke down and clamped onto Kurenai, crying into her arm. She was lucky she chose the arm, because Kurenai had been expecting Naruto's reaction to be an act so Naruto could rub against her chest. Kurenai, having once started reading that evil orange book before realizing what it contained, knew that even the first two pages could scar the unprepared. She just hoped Naruto would not be permanently scarred.

“Come on Naruto, it's time to go to the hot springs. We're going to be working on water walking there. Don't worry, Anko and I won't let anything happen to you.” Still sniffling slightly, Naruto nodded, though she did not loosen her grip on Kurenai's arm. Still, she followed Kurenai to the springs all the same.

“What happened?” Anko asked, as soon as she saw Naruto's condition.

“Someone slipped a little orange book into the anatomy section of the library. The first chapter involves a blond girl with two ponytails.”

“Oh,” Anko said quietly. She walked over to Naruto and gave her a hug. “Don't worry; we'll keep the perverts away from you.”

“What's wrong?” Ino asked, rushing towards her future husband.

“I-I c-can't b-believe wh-what t-the S-sexy no J-jutsu m-made th-those p-perverts w-want to do,” Naruto sobbed, traumatized by her own jutsu.

“It'll be alright, Naruto-kun,” Hinata soothed, as she and Ino joined the group hug.

“Now, if Naruto has calmed down enough, you should go change and meet us back out here,” Kurenai said, spoiling the tender moment.

“Um, Kurenai-sensei, where should Naruto change?” Ino asked. “I'm pretty sure most of the villagers will recognize him, even if he is a girl, and we can't make him use the men's side.”

“Well, I could set up a genjutsu to hide him while he changes,” Kurenai suggested. “Will that work, Naruto?” Naruto nodded and the group separated so the Genin could get changed. Ino only hoped that her choice of a swimsuit to lend to Naruto wouldn't lead to any problems.

After everyone had changed into their swimwear, they gathered around one of the springs. Hinata was wearing a rather conservative light purple one-piece that still managed to flatter her figure. Ino was wearing a much more daring one-piece that had holes in both sides. Naruto was in a two-piece that greatly flattered her body, much to her chagrin.

“Alright,” Anko began, “we're here so you can learn water walking. The reason we teach it here is that the water will act as an incentive to learn quickly. This particular spring is the hottest, at sixty degrees centigrade. If you fall in, it will hurt. Now, there are two ways to do water walking. The first, and incorrect, method is to extend a pillar of chakra from your foot to the bottom of the spring. The problem with this is that depth can be a problem. The further you need to go to reach the bottom, the more chakra you need to use. The proper method is to create a platform of chakra under your feet that will support your weight. Alright, begin!”

“Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Naruto called out, creating an additional one hundred clones.

“Why did you make so many?” Kurenai asked. “They won't all fit on the springs.”

“I know that,” stated Naruto. “I wanted to continue the tree walking using my hands. It's harder than it looks. I need to move the chakra differently in my hands then in the rest of my arms so I can stay straight.”

“That's not even a standard chakra exercise for Jounin!” Anko exclaimed. “Kid, you are going to have amazing chakra control soon.”

“I need to if I ever want to get back to normal!”

For the next few hours, the Genin practiced their water walking. Hinata caught on almost right away and could keep herself afloat easily, even if she had a hard time walking without bobbing with each step. Ino was the next to get the concept down, and was slowly working on walking. Naruto was taking the longest to learn the basic concept, but the first clone that did learned a mode of transportation very quickly, by using the chakra platforms as skates instead of trying to walk.

Kurenai chose to comment on this, saying, “That is very inventive, Naruto, but you need to walk to get the proper control.” It was then that she realized the time and called a break for lunch. “Now, because you are all in swimsuits, and I didn't want to waste time changing, Anko and I bought you lunch and brought it with us.” She handed out the lunches and everyone sat down to eat and watch the clones work.

“Wow; that one's made it halfway up that tree already!” Ino exclaimed, pointing to one of the tree walking clones.

“Yeah, she always seems to be the smartest,” Naruto added.

“You can tell your clones apart?” Anko asked.

“You mean I shouldn't be able to?” Naruto asked. “They all seem to have slightly different personalities, and I can create whatever ones I want.”

“You really are something else, kid,” Anko stated. “I've never heard of shadow clones behaving like that before.”

“Heh heh, thanks,” Naruto said, rubbing the back of her head.

“Alright,” Kurenai declared once everyone had finished eating. “Get back to work!” The Genin got up and continued their training. “I can't wait until these kids finally get fed up with the D-rank missions,” Kurenai stated quietly to Anko. “They have what it takes to become great kunoichi. I mean shinobi. On second thought, I don't want to have to deal with the sleeping arrangements.”

“If I can, I think I'll join you guys. You are much better company than most of my teams,” Anko decided. “I don't even care if I get paid for it. Just being there will be worth it. These kids are the best entertainment I've had in ages.”

The two kunoichi watched the Genin for another hour or so as they perfected the water walking. Naruto was very close while Ino and Hinata had it down perfectly when Kurenai called them over. “I think that now is a good time to teach you how to dispel genjutsu. There are two methods to do so. Neither one is better than the other; one just works better for an individual than the other would. The first method is to momentarily stop the circulation of chakra in your coils so the genjutsu loses its anchor. This will only work if the genjutsu is anchored on you, and is not anchored to something else. The second way is to create a chakra pulse of sufficient strength to overwhelm the genjutsu. This method is impossible if you don't have enough chakra to overcome the genjutsu.”

“I'd like you to try the first method now. Form a ram seal and say `Kai!' while stilling your chakra.” She watched as each of the Genin did as they were told. “Hinata, Ino, very good. Naruto, you were close, but didn't quite manage to do it. You can practice later. Now I want you to try the other method. Gather chakra in your navel with the ram seal and compress it as tightly as you can. When it is as tight as possible, shout `Kai!' and release the chakra all at once.” Once again, she watched as Hinata and Ino attempted the maneuver. When Naruto began to gather her chakra, Kurenai instantly knew that it would not end well. “Naruto! Stop! You're using too much chakra!”

Alas, she was a second too late as Naruto shouted, “Kai!” The tightly compacted chakra expanded from her in a barely visible blue sphere. The sphere reached a height of ten meters before flattening out, expanding outwards for nearly one kilometer in every direction, canceling every genjutsu in its wake.

“Well, ANBU should be here in a few seconds,” Anko commented, cheerfully.

“At least it knocked out all of those frivolous cosmetic techniques,” Kurenai muttered.

“What is the problem here?” asked an ANBU wearing a hawk mask.

“Nothing. I was just teaching my students how to dispel genjutsu. One of them just used a little too much chakra,” Kurenai explained.

“What Genin would possibly have enough chakra to manage that?”

“Well, when she made far fewer Kage Bunshin today than she did yesterday, it isn't all that hard,” Anko replied with a smirk.

“Kage Bunshin?!” the ANBU exclaimed. He looked around and finally noticed all of the Naruto still training. “How many can she make?”

“Well, she made two hundred two days ago and two hundred twenty yesterday, so I honestly don't know,” admitted Anko, happily. “I'm pretty sure she can make even more now, considering she maintained those two hundred and twenty clones for over twelve hours.” At this revelation, the ANBU just shook his head in shock and walked away, not even capable of disappearing properly at the moment.

“Well, I think that we've done enough training on dispelling genjutsu for the time being,” Kurenai stated. “We don't need to accidentally start a panic or anything.”

“Hai,” the Genin chorused.

“Now, I'm pretty sure you've all got water walking down, so what should we work on next?”

“Could we increase our weights?” Ino asked. “I can't even tell that I'm wearing any.”

“Alright, go get your vests and return here,” Kurenai ordered. The Genin scattered, returning with their vests. “Now, add enough chakra for a bunshin. That should be enough. Naruto, use as much as you do for a normal henge. That should be safe enough.”

The girls nodded and added the chakra to the seals. As they put the vests on, Ino and Hinata stumbled slightly, but Naruto almost crashed to the floor. “How much do those things weigh?” Anko asked.

“Ino's and mine should weigh around forty pounds now,” Hinata answered.

“Ugh,” Naruto groaned. “I think mine weighs two hundred fifty pounds now. And I only used what I use for henge.”

“There's no way you could do a normal henge with that much chakra!” Anko exclaimed. “If you did, the illusion would fail. Naruto, was your henge just an illusion or solid?”

“Um, it was pretty solid, I think,” Naruto said. “I d-doubt th-the H-harem no J-jutsu would w-work with an illusion.” Naruto began shaking as the trauma in the shape if a little orange book returned full force.

“Hmm, you've already learned all of the chakra control that Genin usually do,” commented Kurenai, trying to change the subject to something more pleasant. It worked as Naruto slowly stopped shivering. “Hey, Naruto, is that enough for you to learn Masu Henge no Jutsu?”

“I don't know, we need to ask Kyu-Ohki,” Naruto replied.

“To be perfectly honest, you have enough chakra control to learn Masu Henge no Jutsu,” Kyu-Ohki admitted. “However, I do not feel that you have been adequately punished for your Sexy no Jutsu. I was originally going to hold out on you until your first period. Conversely, after today's events I think that you have learned the error of your ways. As such, I am willing to make a deal with you. You can either wait out your entire cycle and experience menstruation, or you can lay a cabbit egg, which would both simulate child birth and allow me to have the legacy I want. The decision is yours, Naruto. What do you choose? A month as a girl or two weeks at most?”

Naruto considered the pros and cons of both options carefully before deciding. “I'll lay the egg.” Of course, because her Kage Bunshin were still reading in the library, the basis for her decision was slightly flawed.

“Good. The eggs will be ready in ten days,” Kyu-Ohki announced. “You should not do any missions on the last three days. There is no turning back now.”

“Naruto,” Kurenai deadpanned, “you are an idiot. Child birth is one of the most painful experiences in a woman's life.” Naruto paled significantly at this. “Anyways, I think that we've had enough for the day. Dismissed!”

“I hope Naruto doesn't end up with the normal hormones for it,” Anko remarked after the Genin left. There were still a hundred Naruto in the area, however, because Naruto did not want to sleep quite yet. Surprisingly, one of his clones had already made it three quarters of the way up the tree.

After the three Genin got changed back into their normal clothing, they walked back towards the village together. Naruto's stomach rumbled in hunger and she felt the urge to eat something, though she was not sure what she wanted. “Hey, guys, I need to get some food, but I'm not sure what I want. Do you have any ideas?” As she waited for an answer, she idly pulled out one of her old kunai, which she carried in the village to avoid suspicion, and absently began to gnaw on the metal.

“Naruto, why are you biting that kunai?” Ino asked.

“Huh? What do you mean?” At that moment, her hand slipped, and she cut her tongue. “Ouch! Why am I trying to eat my gear?”

“Ano, Naruto-kun, maybe you need more iron?” Hinata suggested.

“Give the girl a gold star!” Kyu-Ohki cheered through the mental link, so as to not incite mass hysteria. “Cabbits require a very metal heavy diet to grow properly. I would suggest getting supplements if you can't find the proper foods.”

“Alright,” Ino declared. “To the pharmacy!”

“They won't sell me anything,” Naruto said dejectedly.

“I can get them for you, Naruto-kun,” Hinata offered.

“Thanks, Hinata-chan.” When the three Genin reached the store, Hinata entered while Ino decided to keep Naruto company outside.

When Hinata reached the supplement section, she mentally asked, “Kyu-Ohki, which supplements does Naruto-kun need?”

“Naruto is going to need a lot of metals. Magnesium, iron, manganese, chromium, silver, copper, gold, lead, and as many others as we can manage. Don't worry; I'll keep it from affecting her.” Kyu-Ohki answered.

“Ano, I don't think I can get lead supplements.”

“If your village uses lead based paint, and it does, Naruto will just have to start eating paint chips. Again.”

“You mean wall candy?” Naruto asked, having over heard the mental conversation.

“That explains so much,” Ino mentally sighed. “Who told you that, Naruto?”

“The people who took care of me until I could take care of myself.”

“Those bastards!” Hinata mentally fumed. “They were trying to poison you!”

“Don't worry,” Kyu-Ohki interjected. “All of that lead was put to good use. Naruto's skin is more or less radiation proof for at least the next ten years. The Masu had to leach the lead out of her bones first, of course.”

“You ate that many paint chips as a kid?!” Ino exclaimed, while remembering to stay silent.

“Well, whenever I asked my caretakers for treats, they always pointed to the wall,” Naruto explained silently.

“We need to tell the Hokage about this, Naruto-kun,” Hinata stated from inside the store as she picked up as many supplements as she could and carried them to the cashier. “I'd like to purchase these,” she told the pimply youth.

“H-hai, Hyuuga-sama,” the cashier replied, both surprised and honored that a Hyuuga, let alone the Hyuuga heiress, would shop there, instead of going to their private pharmacy. He quickly rang up the total without even looking at the items. Even if he had, he would not have dared to ask about her purchases.

“Thank you,” Hinata told the clerk as she paid. The poor kid almost had a heart attack, as the Hyuuga never thanked anyone for anything. As Hinata rejoined her fellow Genin, she had one last mental warning for the group, “If at all possible, we should only talk about Naruto's changes in our heads, so no one can overhear.”

“Come on!” Naruto exclaimed, “Let's go see the Hokage!”

“Should we keep the mental link a secret from him?” Ino asked in their heads.

“Nah,” Naruto silently replied. “I'm pretty sure he already knows by now.”

“Then why hasn't our group been separated yet?” Hinata asked. “It would be tactically advantageous to do so.”

“We can ask when we get there,” Ino commented, still in their heads.

“Alright, we'll go talk to the Hokage,” Hinata relented. She was somewhat afraid that her team might be broken up, and she did not want that. However, she trusted Naruto to make the right choice. He had, after all, talked to the Hokage more than any other Genin. As they walked towards Sandaime's office, Hinata noticed that Naruto was again gnawing on a kunai. “Naruto-kun, stop trying to eat your kunai, please. Here, have some of the supplements, instead.” She handed Naruto one of the bottles.

“Thanks, Hinata-chan,” Naruto replied gratefully. “I was getting tired of cutting myself.” Popping open the container, the blond eagerly began eating the pills like candy.

“I'm not sure your body can process all of that at once,” Ino commented warily.

“I'm sure I'll manage,” Naruto said happily, popping more of the pills into her mouth.

The three girls continued their walk in silence, unable to think of anything else to say. When they reached the Hokage's office, they were greeted by his secretary, Saotome Hikari, “Hello, Naruto-chan. Who are you're friends?”

“Hi, Hikari-neechan. These are my teammates, Hyuuga Hinata and Yamanaka Ino. Hinata-chan, Ino-chan, this is Hikari-neechan.”

“I thought Naruto didn't have any relatives,” Ino protested.

“Oh, we're not related,” Hikari stated. “Bro decided to call me Sis, so I'm returning the favor.”

“Hai, Hikari-neechan is much nicer than the Hokage's old secretaries,” Naruto interjected.

“So, how has your time as a Genin been so far?” the secretary asked.

“It's been great!” Naruto exclaimed happily. “Kurenai-sensei and Anko-sensei are teaching us a lot!”

“You have Anko-san teaching you as well?” Hikari asked incredulously. “Last I heard, she refused to teach anyone, which is one of the reasons she is a Special Jounin instead of a Jounin. Her skills are great, but she doesn't work well with others.”

“Really?” Ino asked. “She seems to get along with us well enough.”

“How'd you pull that off?” Hikari prompted, eagerly. While she was not a friend of the Special Jounin, she had no animosity towards her, and only avoided Anko because of her violent reputation. If she had been a kunoichi, and not a civilian, she would have gladly been friends with the slightly older woman, despite knowing her past.

“We just accepted her for who she is,” Hinata stated softly, “not who her instructor had been.”

“Is she really as violent as the stories make her sound?”

“I don't now about any stories, but the only time she's really violent is when we're training.”

“Even then, she doesn't do anything we won't easily heal from,” Naruto added.

“Which, apparently, means that Naruto is nearly maimed on a fairly regular basis,” Ino admitted.

“What the hell is she thinking?”

“I heal very quickly,” Naruto stated solemnly. “I'm usually back to full health within half an hour of whatever she does to me, especially with Hinata's healing salve to help.”

“She still shouldn't do that.”

“But I need to learn to fight through the pain now, rather than on a mission,” Naruto pointed out.

“Fine, I guess it really isn't my business if you want to hurt yourself constantly,” Hikari sniffed. “I'm just trying to look out for my little brother. I don't want you to get hurt.”

Naruto gave Hikari a hug. “Thanks, sis. It really means a lot to me.”

Hikari returned Naruto's hug, saying, “You're welcome, bro. It means a lot to me, too. Now, what do you guys need, or did you just come by to talk to me?”

“Ano, we'd like to see Hokage-sama, please,” Hinata answered.

“Ah, you're in luck, then,” Hikari stated. “He's available now, so you can go right in. Oh, and Naruto-chan, I'd like to talk to you a little more before you leave.”

“Thanks, oneechan! I'll see you when we're done talking to the Old Man,” Naruto called back as she led the other two girls into the Sandaime's office. “Oi, old man, we need to talk to you.” Hinata was frankly shocked at Naruto's blatant disrespect for the Hokage.

“What is this about, Naruto?” Sarutobi asked warily.

“Eh heh heh,” Naruto laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “I'm kind of pregnant.”

“You're what?!” the old man exclaimed, wanting to make sure he was hearing correctly.

“Naruto is pregnant,” Ino affirmed.

“And how did this happen?” the Hokage asked. “You don't expect me to believe that you've had sex, do you?”

While Ino and Hinata blushed bright red, Naruto could only ask one question, “Ano, what's sex?”

Sandaime almost fell over at Naruto's innocent question before he caught himself. “Alright, Naruto, that's quite enough. You really had me going there for a minute. You pregnant, that's a great prank.”

“Eh? What do you mean, prank?” Naruto asked. “I really am pregnant!”

“I'm really quite impressed. How did you get Ino and Hinata to go along with you?”

“Ano,” Hinata started meekly. “It isn't a p-prank. Naruto-kun r-really is p-pregnant.”

“Ino I could see actively supporting this prank,” Hokage-sama began. “But I would not have expected the Hyuuga heiress to be actively participating in such a thing.”

“Who said it was a prank?” Kyu-Ohki asked.

“How did you get the cabbit to play a part in this?”

“This is not a prank; damn it, old man, Naruto is actually pregnant!”

“But why? How?” the old man ground out.

“Kyu-Ohki was going to hold out on the Masu Henge no Jutsu for a whole month,” Naruto admitted. “It was to punish me for the Sexy no Jutsu.”

“What does this have to do with you being pregnant?”

“After a… traumatic event earlier today,” Ino began hesitantly, “Kyu-Ohki felt that Naruto had learned most of the lesson, so he was willing to compromise.”

“What traumatic event would do that?”

“A little orange book of more pure evil than even the Kyuubi no Kitsune,” the Kyuubi no Cabbit stated solemnly. Sarutobi stealthily locked the drawer containing his own orange book.

“And what does this have to do with getting pregnant?” the perverted Hokage asked.

“I gave her a choice. One month as a girl, including menstruation, or she carries my legacy within her for about two weeks. She chose the latter.”

“Naruto! How could you allow yourself to be used to make more demons?” The Hokage admonished.

“Who said anything about demons, Hokage? No, Naruto is carrying normal cabbits in her womb.” The demon considered for a moment before adding, “Well, as normal as they can be considering their mother.”

“You used Naruto's eggs?” Ino asked incredulously.

“Of course I did, silly girl. I'm a male cabbit. It's not like I have my own eggs to use.”

“What do you mean I have eggs?” Naruto asked, causing Sarutobi to stare in shock.

“Ano, I'm sure you'll find out tonight, Naruto-kun,” Hinata said, trying to head off a rather awkward conversation.

“That's right!” exclaimed the pregnant blond. “My kage bunshin are still reading about anatomy and stuff in the library.”

“How many are you using, and how long has it been?” the Hokage asked.

“Well, I started at about seven thirty this morning with one hundred clones, and then I made another hundred when we started working on chakra control around nine o'clock.”

“And they're all still active?” Sarutobi asked. “Are you insane?! The mental strain could fry your brain completely!”

“I was fine after two hundred twenty clones reading for over twelve hours yesterday,” the whiskered blond muttered.

“Is this true?” Sandaime asked the other, more sane girls.

“Hai, Hokage-sama,” Hinata collaborated.

“He only needed a good nights sleep,” Ino added.

“Kurenai-sensei wants me to increase my chakra reserves,” Naruto stated. “So I use Kage Bunshin to stretch my reserves.”

“Let me get this straight,” the Old Man started slowly, “you can create over two hundred clones using Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.”

“Hai. Why do you ask?”

“Naruto, there is an advanced form of Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. If you can create over two hundred Kage Bunshin with Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, I hesitate to ponder how many you could create with Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. The one thing you must remember, however, is that your chakra is spread equally over all of your clones and yourself, so it is easy to accidentally deplete your reserves. I'm sure you will be able to figure out this technique on your own, so I will not provide the scroll. Besides, the Shodai Hokage banned the technique. Not that it stops anyone, really. So, is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Well, my caretakers have been trying to poison me for years,” Naruto admitted.

“What do you mean?” Sandaime asked.

“Naruto's caretakers told him to eat paint chips as a kid!” Ino exclaimed angrily. Naruto could have had lead poisoning!”

“Hmm. It seems that I need to go speak to some of the orphanage workers, then,” the Hokage stated. “Now, do you need anything else while you're here?”

“I think that's everything, Old Man,” Naruto stated. “Do you girls need anything?”

“I'm good,” Ino replied.

“I don't need anything,” Hinata added. “Do we need to get anything else, Kyu-Ohki?” Hinata asked mentally as the trio headed back out of the office.

“Not for Naruto's pregnancy, at least,” was the reply. “However, teaching Naruto Juuken would greatly help you in your training.”

“But he would need the Byakugan just to attempt to learn it!” Hinata protested. “The Council would never allow him to have it!”

“But that is the beauty of Naruto's kekkei genkai,” Kyu-Ohki explained. “With any luck, if she drinks half a gallon of Hyuuga blood, she can use Masu Henge no Jutsu to obtain the Byakugan. I think you should talk to Kurenai-san about doing so tomorrow.”

“I have to do what?!” Naruto suddenly exclaimed out loud, causing the nearby Hokage to look at her strangely. Seeing that the trio did not want to mention it, he let them be.

Hinata, on the other hand, was horrified. `I can't believe Naruto-kun will have to drink blood. Oh no! Kyu-Ohki is turning him into a vampire!' the worried Hyuuga thought. Soon, however, a new thought, or rather image, appeared in her mind. She was standing still with a furry Naruto on each side, dressed in tight, revealing leather, covering even less than Naruto's swimsuit had earlier. One was male while the other was female. While the female Naruto stood in front of Hinata, pressing their chests together, the male Naruto pressed against her from behind. They nibbled their way down her jaw and neck until they reached her shoulders, where they sank their elongated fangs into her tender flesh, sensuously sucking out her lifeblood while she writhed in pleasure.

When Ino had heard Kyu-Ohki's suggestion, she was on the verge of being sick and feinting. However, when Hinata's mental image hit her, she replaced Hinata between the two Naruto. As her mental pleasure increased from the thought, she accidentally transmitted it back to Hinata. The Hyuuga changed the daydream again, with her pressing against Ino, and both girls surrounded by furry Naruto vampires. Ino caught the new image and increased it even more. The two girls formed a mental feedback loop that caused them to spasm and pass out right in front of Hikari's desk. Naruto barely managed to catch the girls before they hit the floor. As it was, she was having a hard time concentrating through the thoughts both girls had been broadcasting.

“Oi, Sis, what's wrong with Ino-chan and Hinata-chan?” Naruto asked worriedly. “And why was I biting them?”

“I think they'll be fine, Naruto-chan,” Hikari assured the distraught blond.

“And why am I sticky again?!” the blond demanded.

Hikari just coughed and tried to change the subject, “So. Naruto-niichan, I was wondering if you'd like to live with me.”

“Eh? What do you mean?” Naruto asked, demonstrating her rather short attention span when not working on a new technique.

“Well, I see you as a little brother, and I know where your apartment is. I'd like you to live with me instead of in that area.”

“I don't know, Sis,” Naruto began apologetically. “I'm used to living by myself, and this really isn't a good week to try anything new like that.”

“Why not, Naruto-niichan?” Hikari asked.

“I'd rather not say,” Naruto hedged. “It's sort of personal.”

“All right, Bro, I'm not going to pry into your life just yet. Just know that you can talk to me about anything.” Hikari gave the blond a quick hug and commented, “I think your friends are getting up.”

The two girls were indeed awakening from their perversion induced stupors, and Naruto quickly asked, “Eh, Hinata-chan, Ino-chan, are you two all right?”

“H-hai, I'm fine, Naruto-kun,” Hinata stuttered, her face bright red.

“I'm fine, too,” Ino commented, also with a rather deep blush.

“That's good,” Naruto replied. “So what happened to you two, anyways?”

“N-nothing s-serious, Naruto-kun,” Hinata stuttered.

“Yeah, Naruto, there's nothing wrong with us now,” Ino added. “Besides, it's getting late; we should get going.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Naruto concurred. “Well, I'll see you later, Sis. Bye!”

“Bye, Naruto-chan, Ino-san, and Hinata-san.”

“Bye, Hikari-san,” Ino and Hinata answered. The three girls then left the office with a wave.

“Well, I should probably head home and get some sleep,” Naruto stated. “My Kage Bunshin are probably done by now.”

“All right, Naruto-kun,” Hinata said. “I'll see you and Ino tomorrow, then.” With that, the blue haired girl headed back to her house for the night.

“Naruto,” Ino started, “I still need to practice my Shintenshin tonight; so can you come back to my house for the moment?”

“Sure, Ino-chan.” The two blonds made their way back to Ino's house and to her room, so that Ino could go right to sleep after the exercise. Naruto then headed back to her own apartment for the night and dispelled her Kage Bunshin right after she was all ready to go to sleep. As Ino had fallen asleep right after her mental exercise was finished, the three had a very pleasant dream, where they played a game of hide and seek, which conveniently doubled as stealth training.

 

The next morning, after their mission, consisting of painting a fence, Team 8 gathered reconvened at their normal training grounds. The mission itself had only taken thirty minutes, rather than the expected five hours, courtesy of Naruto's Kage Bunshin. “Well, since we finished that mission much faster than expected, we have a choice,” Kurenai stated. “As I didn't plan on you finishing that quickly, I'll let you decide how you want to train until lunch.”

“Ano,” Hinata started, “Kyu-Ohki suggested we try to get Naruto the Byakugan.”

“What would she need it for?” Anko asked.

“To help Hinata-chan with her training, of course,” Naruto answered. No one noticed that Anko had used the wrong pronoun, as even Naruto was beginning to think of herself as female, as well as male.

“So, how do you plan on getting the Byakugan?” Kurenai questioned. “They aren't going to just give you a pair.”

“Kyu-Ohki thinks that Naruto could absorb the information necessary to copy it by drinking a half gallon of Hyuuga blood,” Ino supplied.

“Well, let's get started,” Anko said excitedly, reaching for Hinata's arm. A quick slice of her kunai later, a thin line of blood was beading on Hinata's forearm. “Start drinking, Naruto!” she cried happily, grabbing Naruto's head and forcing her mouth against the bleeding arm. Seeing that Naruto refused to drink, she clamped Naruto's nose closed with the hand holding Hinata's arm steady, forcing her to open her mouth against the bleeding cut. Thus, some of Hinata's blood made its way down Naruto's throat before Ino and Kurenai could pry the Special Jounin off of the pair. An even smaller amount of blood made it into a small cut from when Naruto had run out of supplements and was trying to eat another kunai.

“Stop it Anko!” Kurenai shouted. “Hinata can't lose a half gallon of blood or she'll die!” That caused Anko to loosen her grip enough for the Genin to escape.

Naruto wiped the blood off of her face and complained, “I need to drink the half gallon all at once. Kyu-Ohki suggested that Kurenai-sensei ask Hinata's father for blood from the Hyuuga blood bank. It doesn't need to be fresh, so we can use whatever they are about to throw out.”

“Why would Hiashi allow you to have the blood?” Kurenai asked.

“No one has looked into using blood to copy kekkei genkai,” Anko stated. “At least not that I've ever heard of, and definitely not through ingestion.”

“All right,” Kurenai relented. “We'll go see Hiashi about the blood. Hinata, give me your arm so I can heal it. I'd rather not have to listen to your father if he were to see it.”

“Hai, Kurenai-sensei,” Hinata said, holding her arm out. Kurenai used a relatively simple healing jutsu to heal the shallow cut. The group then made there way to the Hyuuga compound.

When they arrived at the front gate, one of the guards, the one who had attacked Naruto the other day, stopped them and asked, “What is your business here?”

“I would like to speak to Hiashi-sama in regards to Hinata's training. My team will accompany me,” Kurenai answered politely.

“I will inform Hiashi-sama immediately,” the guard stated before walking into the estate, leaving the other guards to watch the group. The team waited silently for ten minutes before the guard came back. “Hiashi-sama will see you now. Please follow me.” As they headed into the building, he sent a small glare at Naruto and added, “And don't touch anything.” Anko quickly edged back towards the group from where she had been about to poke a vase.

The five females were eventually led into Hiashi's office, where the long haired Hyuuga head was standing, hands clasped behind his back as he looked out the window. He turned and motioned to the guard, “You are dismissed.” The guard was quick to leave. “What have you come to discuss, Kurenai-san?” he asked, extremely formally.

“Hiashi-sama, I would like access to one half gallon of nearly expired blood from the Hyuuga Blood Bank to help in Hinata's training.”

“And how is blood supposed to help her train?” the skeptical Hiashi inquired.

“Naruto?” Kurenai asked, deferring to her student's supposed expertise on the subject.

“Hai. I have a new kekkei genkai that may allow me to use the Byakugan,” Naruto stated, having come to the conclusion that near total honesty would be the best course of action. “I could then observe your lessons with Kage Bunshin and help Hinata when she cannot receive lessons from your clan.”

“And why should I allow you, a lowborn brat, to have the Byakugan?”

“How do you know if I am lowborn or not?” Naruto shot back. “I'm an orphan; I don't know who my parents are. Besides, there is no guarantee that I can even copy the Byakugan.”

“Regardless, why should I allow you the chance?”

“One of the Hyuuga's greatest fears is to lose you eyes, correct?” Naruto asked. When Hiashi nodded stiffly, she continued, “According to my reading in anatomy, my understanding of my bloodline, and my discussions with a more informed party, it should possible for me to regenerate any body part, including the eyes and optic nerves, using just my chakra. I should also be able to give my bloodline to someone else. Think about it; the Hyuuga may never need fear for their eyes again.”

“That is a very enticing offer. Unfortunately, we threw out all of our old blood yesterday, and we will not be able to spare any until a month from now. I will allow you to watch Hinata's training sessions until then so that you can see what see is supposed to do. If you impress me over the next month, I will allow you to have the blood you seek,” Hiashi stated with an air of finality. “I also want you to look up your parents. They should be listed on your birth certificate.”

“Aw, but I wanted the cabbits to have the Byakugan,” Naruto whined before she could stop herself.

“What are these `cabbits' and how would they acquire the Byakugan,” Hiashi demanded angrily.

“A cabbit looks like a mix of a cat and a rabbit,” Ino stated. “They are generally very friendly.”

“How would you know that?” Hiashi asked. “And that still does not explain how they would get the Byakugan.”

“Kyuubi was a cabbit, not a fox,” Naruto stated solemnly. “And the cabbits I'm talking about would get the Byakugan because I chose to have them instead of staying a girl for a whole month. Ino knows what a cabbit looks like because Kyu-Ohki is training her in escaping from a bijuu in a Jinchuuriki's mind. We're pretty sure that I'm not the only one, but I'm probably the only one that was used as a jailer instead of a weapon. The ironic part is that Kyu-Ohki wasn't even attacking Konoha. He just wanted some carrots.”

“So these cabbits you're going to have will make good pets?” Hiashi asked, a plan forming.

“No, they would make horrible pets,” Naruto admitted. She continued before Hiashi could interrupt, “They'll be much too intelligent for that. However, they would make great partners.”

“That is even better, then,” Hiashi stated. “In addition to my other requirements, I want you to provide a cabbit for my daughter, Hanabi.”

“I apologize, Hyuuga-sama, but that is one thing I cannot just do,” Naruto declared. “I will not just give away my own flesh and blood. My cabbits will go to whomever they bond with.”

“What do you mean your flesh and blood?” Hiashi asked, startled.

“Kyu-Ohki used my eggs to ensure his legacy,” Naruto explained. “They are quite literally my children as well. I will not force anyone upon them. It is their decision to make. However, I am willing to give your daughter the opportunity to receive a cabbit. Is that acceptable, Hyuuga-sama?”

“I understand. That is acceptable. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

“I believe that is all,” Kurenai stated.

“Very well, I will have a Branch member escort you out,” Hiashi replied. Soon enough, the Genin team was back outside and heading towards their training grounds. “I hope Hanabi gets a cabbit,” Hiashi muttered. “Maybe then she'll stop asking for a cat. She knows how bad my allergies are!”

 

Back at the training site, Naruto turned towards Hinata, and said, “Thanks for helping me convince your father, Hinata-chan. I don't think I could have done it without you.”

“You're welcome, Naruto-kun,” Hinata replied.

“But she didn't do anything!” Anko protested.

“She did a lot more than you'd think, Anko-sensei,” Naruto firmly stated. “Would you like to know what I mean? First hand?”

“She used the mental link between you, right?” Anko asked; Naruto nodded. “And the link is permanent?” Again, Naruto nodded. “Then why are you offering it to me?”

“Ino, Hinata, and I care about you, Anko-sensei. We want you to know how much we care, and that we'll never abandon you, no matter what.” Naruto stared into Anko's teary eyes and began making seals, “Ram, rabbit, dragon, boar. Do you accept?”

“Yes,” Anko choked out, suppressing her happy sobs. An instant later the bond was formed and the Special Jounin felt a surge of warm, fuzzy feelings enveloping her. Mere seconds later, she was also enveloped in a group hug consisting of herself, Naruto, Ino, and Hinata.

“Welcome to the club, Anko-sensei,” Ino spoke into Anko's mind.

“I'm glad to be a part of it,” Anko mentally replied.

“It is a pleasure to finally be able to talk to you directly,” Kyu-Ohki added. “Naruto, I believe you should attempt another ability you should have. If Anko-chan is willing, of course.”

“Anko-chan?” Anko questioned indignantly, though she remembered to keep silent.

“I am a millennia-olddemon taller than the Hokage's tower. Of course I'd refer to you as small.” At that answer, Anko just grumbled.

“What new ability did you want me to try?” Naruto asked aloud, for Kurenai's benefit.

Kyu-Ohki borrowed Naruto's larynx to follow suit, “I believe the technique could be called `Masu Isou no Jutsu' and would allow you to adopt another into your bloodline. I'm pretty sure that you'd need to establish a mental link first, however.”

“So, Anko-sensei,” Naruto asked, “do you want to try this?”

“Why should I be the guinea pig? I think I've played that role enough already.”

“Both Hinata and Ino are members of well known clans. Anko-chan, you are an orphan, to the best of my knowledge, so you'd be the best candidate for adoption” Kyu-Ohki explained.

“How safe will this be?” Anko asked warily.

“Well, Naruto made out fine, but we've never actually done anything like this before,” Kyu-Ohki admitted, “though it should be rather safe. Are you willing to try this?”

“Sure, I might as well,” Anko reluctantly agreed. “Who knows, this might even help me.”

“Alright, what do I need to do?” Naruto asked.

“You need to make the hand seals boar, rat, horse, bird, monkey, dragon, rat, horse, dog, tiger, snake, boar, snake, ox, horse, rabbit, dragon, monkey, bird, and tortoise. You then need to place your hands directly on her chest and direct the masu into her. Adding tiger at the end should cause the masu to explode after a certain amount of time, so don't do it!” --> [Author:SS] Kyu-Ohki sent a mental image of the tortoise seal to Naruto, as it was not one of the normal seals taught in the Academy.

“A-Anko-sensei, I'll have to touch yo-your breasts; is that alright with you?” Naruto asked nervously.

“Meh, sure; why not?” Anko replied. She pulled down her metal mesh body stocking under her trench coat and asked, “So, ready to do this?”

Naruto nodded and began making hand seals. “Boar, rat, horse, bird, monkey, dragon, rat, horse, dog, tiger, snake, boar, snake, ox, horse, rabbit, dragon, monkey, bird, and tortoise. Masu Isou no Jutsu!” The girl quickly, yet gently, placed her hands on Anko's chest, and started to slowly feed masu into her. After five minutes, Kyu-Ohki informed the group that the transfer was completed.

“So, how well did it work?” Kurenai asked eagerly.

“It is impossible to tell exactly how well the transfer was until after I teach both Naruto and Anko Masu Henge no Jutsu. As such, we will have to wait at least a week before finding out.”

“Well, we could always see if a dot like mine formed under her forehead protector,” Naruto suggested. Anko obligingly removed it and the others crowded around to look. “See, it's formed already, so the jutsu must have worked. Anyways, who's next?”

“Naruto, I believe that you can only use that jutsu once a month, as your body needs to produce more masu before you transfer anymore.”

“Oh, all right,” the blond pouted. “I guess we'll have to wait, then.”

“So, let's get back to training!” Kurenai suggested, or rather ordered.

“Hai!” the three Genin shouted as they scrambled to get back to work. After a long day of training, everyone headed home. That night, Hinata was the first to fall asleep.

 

--> [Author:SS] (Initiating Dream Sequence)

Anko looked around the forest, confused. “What the hell is this?” she asked towards the green sky as she looked at the blue trees around her.

“Hello, Anko-sensei,” Hinata called out as she walked into the clearing. “Welcome to tonight's dream, hosted by yours truly.”

“What do you mean by that?” Anko demanded.

“Well, I was the first to fall asleep tonight, so we're going to be sharing my dream. We always make sure that either Ino or I fall asleep first so Naruto won't accidentally trap us in another nightmare.”

“So where are the others?”

“Oh, they're hiding,” Hinata stated. “We thought it'd be fun to play hide-and-seek again tonight. Why don't you join us?”

“What? Join you in such a childish game?” Anko scoffed. “I'm much too old for that.”

“Oh, well, if that is your only complaint,” Hinata started before yelling, “Ino! Naruto! Anko-sensei thinks she's too old to play with us!”

Mere moments later, both Naruto and Ino were standing in the clearing with Hinata and Anko. “What's this about being too old to play?” Ino demanded.

“Yeah,” the male Naruto added. “This is a dream! You can be as old as we collectively want you to be!”

“What do you mean by that?” Anko inquired.

“Well, our dream forms seem to be based on our perceptions of ourselves and each other,” Hinata explained. “As such, we can control our ages and appearances.”

“And,” Ino continued, “it seems to be based off of a balance system. When just Naruto and I were linked, we had equal power. After Hinata joined, two of us could over power the third. Now you have joined us, so the three of us should be able to change your age whether you want us to or not.”

“That said,” Naruto announced. “Welcome to the wonderful world of the preteen.” The three Genin concentrated for a few moments and Anko shrank down into her twelve year old body. Luckily, her body stocking and trench coat shrank with her.

Anko took one look at her new body and demanded, “What did you do to me?”

“We just removed your reason for not paying with us,” Hinata supplied.

“Yeah, come and play with us, Anko-sensei,” Ino and Naruto chimed in.

“Fine, damn brats,” Anko muttered under her breath. “I'll play with you, but don't call me Anko-sensei, at least not while I'm like this.”

“All right, Anko-chan,” Naruto replied happily. “So, who's going to be it?”

“Not it!” Ino and Hinata called out simultaneously, with Anko following a split second later.

“Damn,” Naruto cursed. “I guess I'm it. You have until the count of one hundred to hide. Oh, Anko-chan, just so you know, chakra won't work here, so you'll have to rely on your natural stealth.” After Anko nodded to indicate her understanding, Naruto closed his eyes and began, “One, two, three,…”

The three girls sprinted off in different directions, looking for a good place to hide. Anko quickly made her way into the trees, bouncing from trunk to trunk in order to gain altitude. Once she was high enough, she found a nice nook in a large tree to hide in. Hinata quickly found a hollow in the roots of a tree and climbed in, piling debris in the entrance to better shield her from view. Ino had a much harder time finding a hiding spot, as there were not as many suitable trees in the direction she ran in. Luckily, she came across a mostly dry gorge, and managed to hide in one of the many cavities.

“Ninety-nine, one hundred!” Naruto bellowed. “Ready or not, here I come!” Naruto quickly looked around the ground for tracks. “And this is why we can't use chakra,” Naruto griped. “They didn't want me to use kage bunshin and find them quickly, like I did last night.” Noticing a trail of scuffed up leaves, Naruto quickly made his pursuit. Coming up to the tree Hinata was hiding under, he noticed one slight discrepancy. A hole under the roots of the tree was filled with leaves. That, in and of itself, was not strange. What was odd was that the leaves were wet, despite there not being any dew on the ground. This, obviously, meant that the leaves had been recently moved. Naruto quickly removed the leaves from the hole and announced, “I found you, Hinata-chan!”

Hinata crawled out of the cavity, and asked, “So, have you found the others yet?” Naruto gave a negative reply and dashed off looking for Ino and Anko. Over the course of the night, the game of hide-and-seek devolved into a fast paced game of tag, followed by a tickle fight, after Naruto had once again claimed a female form. By the end of the night, the four girls were playing and laughing like the twelve year olds they were, rather than the trained killers that life as a ninja had made them.

(Terminating Dream Sequence)

 

All was peaceful the next morning in Konoha, up until Anko awoke. “WHAT?!” she shrieked as soon as she looked in the mirror. “Those three brats are dead. Dead, I say! `Play hide-and-seek with us,' they say. They want hide-and-seek, I'll give them hide-and-seek!” After spending a good two hours looking for semi-decent clothing, Anko made her way to the training ground, arriving right after the Genin team returned from their D-rank mission of the day.

“I wonder where Anko-sensei is,” Ino mused. “She hasn't even spoken to us today.”

“I'm not sure,” Kurenai admitted. “It was her turn to choose the training for the day.” The three girls gulped nervously, fearing for their lives.

Right before she entered the training grounds, Anko tried, and failed, to use a henge to appear normal. “You three brats are dead, you hear me?” she screamed as she approached.

“Anko!” Kurenai called out. “You can't kill off our team.” She then saw Anko for the first time that day. “Anko, what happened to you?”

“These brats made me younger!” the twelve year old Anko declared angrily.

“But that was just a dream,” Ino protested. “We didn't do anything to you outside of the dream.”

“Then how do you explain this?”

“Um,” Naruto interjected. “The first time I used masu henge was an accident, so I guess you might have been able to do it in your sleep without really trying to.”

“Then tell me how to fix it,” the irate purple haired preteen insisted.

Naruto shrugged her shoulders, and replied, “Wait until I lay Kyu-Ohki's eggs in a week and he'll tell us.”

“I don't want to wait that long,” Anko said, bordering on a whine.

“But this is your chance to have a proper childhood,” Hinata suggested.

Anko took a deep, calming breath and said, “You're right. Why don't we play hide-and-seek? I know just the place, too.” The evil grin she was sporting was beginning to worry the others.

“You don't mean where I think you do, right Anko?” Kurenai asked imploringly.

Anko answered exactly as the Jounin had feared, “We'll be playing in Area 44, better known as the Forest of Death.” The three Genin shivered slightly in fear. “Don't worry; I only expect you to spend until tomorrow morning there,” she added reassuringly. The girls were not reassured in the slightest.

“Um, Anko-chan?” Naruto asked, tying to change the subject. “Do you want us to call you Anko-sensei or Anko-chan until you can get back to normal?”

“Grr,” Anko twitched and growled cutely. “Fine, call me Anko-chan. It's not like I can stop you, anyways.”

“Alright, then, Anko-chan,” Kurenai started sweetly. “Since this is your idea, why don't you lead the group?” Anko cursed under her breath and started heading towards the most dangerous area around Konoha.

“Kurenai-san, I didn't know you had a four person, kunoichi only Genin team,” a male voice commented as the group passed by a Genin team painting a fence.

“Ino-pig, stay away from Sasuke-kun!” a pink haired kunoichi demanded.

“Eh? Forehead girl?” Ino asked in response. She looked over towards the origin of the voice. Sure enough, Sakura, Sasuke, and Kiba were painting the fence while Kakashi leaned against a tree, reading his little orange book.

“Sakura-chan?” Naruto asked too quietly for Sakura to hear, though she did not charge up to the girl like she usually would. Doing so as a girl would be far more embarrassing than when she did so as a boy. Besides, her crush on the pinkette had already ended during her first dream with Ino.

“I'm not a Genin,” Anko denied vehemently, drawing everyone's attention.

“Really?” Kakashi asked lazily. “I don't believe we have any Chunnin as young as you right now.”

“I'm a Special Jounin, not a Chunnin,” Anko stated in a slightly strained voice.

“No you are not,” Kakashi said firmly, somehow managing to sound lazy at the same time. “We stopped treating prodigies better after Uchiha Itachi.” Sasuke visibly twitched at the name of his brother.

“I'm older than Itachi, damn it!” Anko declared.

“Mya, you don't look it,” Kakashi stated lazily.

“Anko, Kakashi,” Kurenai started, her voice filled with authority. “Stop bickering.”

“You mean she really is Mitarashi Anko, then?” Kakashi asked, allowing his little orange book to droop slightly in his hand.

Seeing the flash of orange in her peripheral vision, Naruto turned from Sakura towards Kakashi, only to focus in on the evil book of evilness. “Pervert!” she screamed shrilly, pointing at Kakashi. Kiba and Akamaru began to howl in pain from the high pitched noise. “How could you read that?!” the nearly hysterical blond continued to screech. “And in front of minors!” A reddish glow began to form on her forehead, originating from the oval gem there. “Tadashii Onnarashii Gekijou Kousen no Jutsu!” (Beam of Righteous Feminine Fury no Jutsu!) Naruto screamed, forming the tortoise hand seal instinctively. A beam of red light shot out of the gem, cutting through her forehead protector, aiming for the evil book of perversion. Before Kakashi could even move, his book was destroyed in a bright flash of flames. “Ha! Serves you right, pervert!” the blond crowed triumphantly. Kakashi just stood there in shock, still not comprehending that his book was now a pile of ash as he stared at his empty and slightly singed hand.

Sasuke, who had not been paying any attention to the plebeians around him, saw only the results of Naruto's attack, including the fact that only one hand seal was used, and began to brood, `What is this power? Why does she have this power? It should be mine! I deserve this power more than her.' He obviously missed the name of the jutsu.

“Hey Naruto, do you think I can do that, too?” Anko asked with a manic grin.

“Eh? Probably,” Naruto replied. “Not really sure how I did it, anyways. Sure was cathartic, though.”

“My Icha Icha,” Kakashi moaned as realization began to set in. He was still in shock though.

“You mean you're really Naruto?” Kiba asked. When Naruto nodded, Kiba gagged, “I can't believe I tried to ask you out!” He continued to gag while Akamaru snickered at his partner. After all, the dog had warned the boy. The wind shifted and Akamaru began sniffing the air, looking over towards the group. After a few short yips and barks to Kiba, the boy asked, “Hey, Naruto, why does Akamaru think you're pregnant?”

Naruto was spared answering by an ironic twist of fate in the form or Kakashi regaining his senses, along with an unfathomable rage. “You fiend! How dare you destroy the literary master piece that is Icha Icha!” He straightened his slanted forehead protector, revealing his Sharingan to the world and flew through the hand seals ox, rabbit, and monkey. He gripped his wrist as the chakra gathering around his hand broke into the visible spectrum with the sound of thousands of chirping birds. “Die, fiend! Raikiri!” Kakashi bellowed as he charged the unfortunate blond.

In the intervening seconds before Kakashi could complete his strike, Anko bit her thumb and flew through the necessary seals before slamming her hand against the ground, shouting, “Kuchiyose no Jutsu!” A seal array spread outward from her hand, and a giant snake appeared between Kakashi and Naruto in a poof of smoke. Unable to avoid the snake in time, Kakashi was forced to use his Raikiri on the snake instead of the blond. After the snake summon was killed, it disappeared in another cloud of smoke.

“Are you done trying to kill my Genin?” Kurenai demanded angrily. “It's your fault for reading that smut in front of the Genin like that.”

“You're lucky I can only use that jutsu a few times a day, girl,” Kakashi spat, pulling his forehead protector back into place over his Sharingan. “You aren't worth the waste of chakra.”

“Kakashi, that girl probably has more chakra than you,” Anko jibed.

“Impossible,” Kakashi retorted. “No rookie kunoichi can have more chakra than an elite Jounin like me.”

“Why don't we make a bet, then,” Kurenai suggested. “If my Genin can make more Kage Bunshin than you, you have to give up reading smut in public.”

“And if I make more,” Kakashi started, his visible eye curving into a lazy upside-down U, “you have to act out chapter ten in public.”

Kurenai shuddered in revulsion, but said, “Fine. You're on. Why don't you go first?”

“Mya, alright,” Kakashi said lazily. He formed the cross seal unique to the technique in question, and announced, “Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Seventy five Kakashi popped into existence, leaving the original panting from the exertion.

“Is that all?” Naruto asked. When the perverted Jounin nodded, Naruto formed her own cross seal and shouted, “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” When the smoke finally cleared, Genin Team Seven gaped in shock. Naruto had managed to form over two hundred fifty clones, easily overwhelming Kakashi's puny seventy five.

“Well,” Anko chirped. “It looks like you lose, Kakashi. Naruto didn't even use Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.”

“I guess this means you'll have to give up smut,” Kurenai commented.

“Does this mean you'll train us more?” Kiba asked, excitedly.

Not even hearing the question, Kakashi dropped to his knees, reared his head back and cried the cry of the broken hearted, “NOOOooOOOOooo!!!” Kurenai and Anko quietly lead their Genin away from the sobbing Jounin and continued on to the Forest of Death. The Genin agreed that said forest was likely to be less scary than Kakashi at that moment.

“So, can we learn summoning?” Naruto asked.

Anko shrugged, and said, “Sure, I don't see why not, but you'll need to get a summing contract before you'll be able to summon anything.”

“Why can't we use the Snake Contract?” Ino asked.

“Well, you could, but the snake boss, Manda is a bastard who'll eat you if you aren't strong enough to earn his respect, and even with his respect, he demands sacrifices whenever he's summoned.” The three Genin just stared at her in shock.

“I think we'll wait for another contract,” Hinata hesitantly declared for the group.

 

The week had finally passed and Naruto was very gravid. In fact, it looked like she was going to have triplets. Anko and Kurenai had decided to spend the last few days of the pregnancy in Area 44, because it provided some of the best privacy in the village.

“Thank Kami it's over,” Naruto panted after the final of seven eggs was laid. “Why do women go through with this?”

“If we don't the human race would perish,” Kurenai commented dryly.

“But why does it hurt so much?” Naruto whined.

“Who cares,” Anko cut in. “Just have Kyu-Ohki tell us how to use Masu Henge no Jutsu already.”

“Aw,” Ino sighed sadly. “You don't want to stay a kid?”

“Sure, it was fun,” Anko admitted, “but I want to be my real age again.”

“You do realize that you are currently biologically twelve, correct?” Kyu-Ohki interjected.

“Really?” Anko asked, now interested.

“Yes, you see, masu henge allows you to directly manipulate your genetic structure, including where your centromeres separate and the length of your telomeres, meaning you can control your age and are functionally immortal. Of course, you'll need to use masu henge multiple times for that to work for any real length of time.”

“You mean we're immortal?” Naruto asked excitedly.

“No. You are only functionally immortal, like a tree. You can still die.”

“Well, are you going to teach us yet?” Anko asked impatiently.

“Fine, fine, I'll teach you,” Kyu-Ohki said patronizingly. “All you need to do is make the tortoise seal and concentrate like you would with a normal henge, except keep in mind age as well. That should do it.”

“That's it?” Anko asked, incredulous.

“Yup.”

“You bastard!” the purple-haired girl yelled as she lunged for Naruto's throat, wanting to strangle Kyu-Ohki by proxy.

“Anko-chan!” Kurenai shouted, grabbing the Special Jounin around the waist. “Leave Naruto alone. Why don't you just use masu henge to get back to normal already?”

“Fine,” Anko huffed. She made the tortoise seal and concentrated on her normal age. “Masu Henge no Jutsu!” Once the cloud of smoke cleared, Anko was revealed in all her twenty-four year old glory. Just because she grew did not mean her clothing would as well. Giving a quick “Eep!” Anko quickly reformed the tortoise seal and shouted, “Masu Henge no Jutsu!” Once again in clothing that was not tight to the point of being painful, Anko announced, “I think I'll stay like this for now.”

Naruto laughed, “At least my clothing will still fit me! Masu Henge no Jutsu!”

 

(Well, there's chapter three. Now the only question is who will get those eggs? Please review with your favorite recipients. And remember, there can be only seven. Please note that this is not a vote, as votes are technically against site policy.)

Ooh, time-delayed self-destruct for the

Masu Isou no Jutsu. I just realized that it

has some interesting potential. Perhaps

later on Orochimaru could kidnap Naruto

in order to gain the ability to use Masu

Henge. It WOULD be a major leap forward

in his quest for immortality, after all.

To insert a horizontal line (which should

convert to an <hr> tag when fed into

the fanfiction.net converter), use the

"Horizontal Ruler..." option in the "Insert"

menu and pick "Plain" from the list.