Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Learning ❯ Chapter 2: Learning to Shut Up ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

 

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Chapter Two:

Learning to Shut Up

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"Do you think Hinata likes me?"

 

Kiba and Shikamaru stopped eating ramen, turned around, and stared at me like I'd just asked them if they wanted to buy some Orochimaru porn.

 

“Wha-what the hell?” A noodle was hanging from Kiba's lips and he was scrunching up his eyebrows at me like he was trying to add one plus one in his head.

 

“I SAID-“

 

“We know what you said Naruto, we're just in awe of how dumb you are.” Shikamaru turned around and started to eat his ramen again (Shika's a genius and knows you don't waste good ramen). “Troublesome dumbass.”

 

What's their problem? Hinata's so quiet… How am I supposed to know how she feels? It's not like she has `I love Uzumaki Naruto!' tattooed to her forehead. But she has been talking to me a lot lately. She's nice and friendly and she seems to actually want to talk to me. So she could like me.

 

Then again, maybe she's just being nice? I don't want to see more into it then is there and be all pathetic. I've already done the whole `throwing myself at someone' thing with Sakura. That situation turned into a big pile of crap and I'd rather not step in anything again.

 

So why are Kiba and Shika… oh.

 

“So you think I'm not good enough for her huh?” I looked away and glared down at the countertop. Sure Hinata's practically the princess of the Hyugas, but love could overcome status. It'd be like that one story… Homeo and Ruliet? Except without the stabbing-poisoning-dying thing.

 

Speaking of Homeo I shoulda just asked Lee. He'd be all supportive of the power of love to conquer all. He wouldn't get all clan snobby with me. Sure, I'd have to suffer through a gay-ish speech, but if Lee wants to ride the green leotard dragon who I am to judge?

 

“It's not that. It's just… ugh.” Shikamaru rubbed his temples. “It's not my place to explain this.”

 

Kiba was still squinting at me and seemed to finally make his mind up about something and grimaced like he tasted rotten milk. “I can't believe you even have to ask that. She IS too good for you.”

 

“The future Hokage is good enough for anyone!” I'm Uzumaki, Naruto! I'm great, I'm stylish, I'm strong, I have great taste in food, I'm nice, I brush my teeth almost every day, and I'm gonna be the leader of the village someday! What's not to like?

 

And check it out. I just rhymed.

 

“Feh.” Kiba's chopsticks broke with a snap. “I thought you liked Haruno? Pretty damn fickle aren't ya? So any chic that pays attention to you ya suddenly just throw yourself at her?”

 

“The Sakura thing was years ago! She's just a friend now! What the hell's your problem?”

 

Kiba's face was turning all red and his other chopstick went to join the first in the ramen afterlife. This is freaky. Kiba's hotheaded but he's not some psycho. Why he blowing his top? It's almost like he's…

 

Oh. Ohhhhhhhh. Heh. Heh.

 

I leaned forward and grinned. “Jealous?”

 

I could practically feel the air freeze up.

 

Shikamaru slapped some cash on the counter and walked away muttering something about not getting involved in triangles… What the hell does geometry have to do with anything?

 

The corner of Kiba's lip was curling backwards like he was snarling. He tensed up like he was getting ready to pounce and then suddenly deflated. A kinda dark look had come over him, but he seemed like he wasn't going to freak out. I don't know if it's a good sign or he's just decided that stabbing me to death with broken chopsticks just wasn't going to be satisfying enough and he was planning something worse.

 

He ran his hand through his hair (picking for fleas?) and sighed. “Do you like her?”

 

“Sure I like her. She's nice and-“

 

“No. I mean do you LIKE her.”

 

Oh.

 

“Well I… um I…“

 

Damn.

 

I never even thought about it.

 

“I don't know.”

 

I could see that was so not the right answer.

 

Akamaru, who'd been sitting quietly on the ground near Kiba like a good little doggie was now growling at me like some kinda seven headed hell mutt. Akamaru had grown huge while I was gone with Jiraiya, and now he looked like the world's ugliest pony. With fangs. Yeah, I should back up a little bit.

 

“Then what the fuck does it matter if she likes you if you don't like her back? You just gonna use her for kicks and throw her away when you get bored?” Now Kiba was growling, too.

 

“No! I'd never do that to any girl! I'm not that kinda guy!” I'm a nice guy! I can even do the pose!

 

“Then what are you gonna do?” Kiba's voice was getting louder and people were starting to stare. And was that killing intent? “What if she does like you and then you find out later, after she's all attached to your sorry ass, that you don't like her? Then what are you gonna do?”

 

“I don't know! I'm resourceful and strong! I'll think of something!”

 

“I don't care how strong you think you are Uzumaki.” Kiba's voice got all deep and threatening. “If you don't treat her with respect...” Kiba leaned down and got all in my face. “Or if you break her heart… I WILL RIP OUT YOUR HEART.”

 

Akamaru barked.

 

Kiba leaned back and absently patted his ugly pony. “And feed it to Akamaru.”

 

Huh…

 

“So you're saying she DOES like me?”

 

“Gah!” Kiba banged his head against the counter a few times. “Just forget it!” He put some money on the counter. “You just sort out your own shit Uzumaki before you go stepping into any more.” He gestured to his horsey. “Come on Akamaru.”

 

Kiba and his pony jumped up and walked off, without so much as a goodbye. It's the sort of thing that could really hurt a guy's self esteem.

 

Whatever, me and dog breath never got along that well to begin with. Besides, I guess he is looking out for her (but he's SO jealous).

 

He's wrong about me though. I've been kicked around enough in life that I never want to make anyone else feel that way. If I had a girlfriend, I'd be the best damn boyfriend in the village. I'd be the Hokage of boyfriends! I'd be charming, buy her ramen, and maybe even share my ramen.

 

Hell I'd be a great husband and father too! I'd have all sorts of little blond haired brats running around that I'd teach techniques to, take out for ice-cream, and tell stories to. We'd have a swing in the yard and huge birthday parties on their birthdays. No past-Hokage funeral remembrances on my kids' birthdays. They'd never feel lonely or not loved, I'd hug them everyday, and maybe we'd have our own ramen chef in the Hokage mansion. Wouldn't that be great?

 

I guess if they were dark haired kids that wouldn't be that bad either…

 

Argh. Damnity damn damn! I'm so confused!

 

“Naruto, please stop hitting your head on the countertop. You're going to dent it.”

 

I looked up, and Ayame (the ramen chef's daughter) had this... smug knowing expression on her face.

 

What does everyone else know that I don't'?

 

Five minutes later, I'm walking home with that nice sloshy-full of ramen-feel in my stomach and for the life of me I can't enjoy it.

 

How do you find out if someone likes you?

 

Why can't I just ask her if she likes me? Ok let's think this through… I go up, ask her, she turns me down nicely or she turns red, maybe passes out from embarrassment, ANBU spring outta nowhere and go, “You've killed the Hyuga heiress! Prepare to die Kyuubi fiend!” And then I gotta bust out the kage bunshin and…

 

Ok, so maybe just asking her isn't the best way to go about this mission.

 

As much as it rips me up inside I think I'm going to have to take Kiba's advice. I can't just half ass this. A girl's heart is like a dangerous jutsu, and not everyone's got Kyuubi healing powers if things go wrong…

 

Three days and one D-rank mission later and I still haven't figured anything out.

 

How do you find out if you like someone?

 

In the movies your eyes meet across the distance, cherry blossoms fall from the sky and you just KNOW. But life isn't like the movies. There's no background music to tell you how to act, and the orphan doesn't end up with a brand new family after some amusing hijinks.

 

You can't expect anything to fall into your lap. Everything I've ever gained was through blood, sweat, and tears. Hell, I even had to give up a normal life for the Kyuubi. But love isn't supposed to be like that right? It's supposed to be soft and warm. I've never really had it, but it's got to be like that, otherwise why would everyone want it?

 

I now a lot of ninjas think love and kindess makes you weak somehow and holds you back. But that's a bunch of bullshit! Having precious people and protecting them is the most important thing in life. I know in my gut I'm right.

 

That's my nindo.

 

Jeez, the way Kiba talked it sounded like she was already in love with me or something. But that's nuts! How can you love someone you just recently started talking to? She might really be in love with some kinda image she's made up rather than the real me. Sure I've known her since we were kids, but I've only recently started to really KNOW her. Can you really know someone that well, if you just started talking talk to them?

 

And hell, even if she knows me I know she's got no idea about what's inside of me. If she finds that out, all of this shit might not even matter.

 

…. I'm so confused. I'm gonna have to kick Kiba's ass later for making me think all these deep thoughts.

 

I should probably just ask Sakura, she's my link to girldom. Well, Granny Tsunade is sorta a link too, but it's more like a missing link. I'm afraid she won't be able to wipe away the mental cobwebs to think that far back. Her stories would probably involve hitting the guy she liked over the head with a club and dragging him off to her cave.

 

I stopped in front of Ino's flower shop. That bit of pink hair has got to be Sakura. I'll just stand in front of Ino's family flower shop and catch Sakura as she's coming out.

 

Hopefully, I can convince Sakura not to say anything to Hinata. You've got to be careful when telling girls things. They've got this amazing communication system. Tell one girl and the next day everyone with breasts knows about it. It's sort of like that game Telephone you play as a kid only really evil.

 

“Hey, Sakura-chan!”

 

Sakura looked up and waved at me. Her smile put the white flowers she was carrying to shame. Damn, she's pretty. Oh well, I never had a chance with her. Besides, now that I stopped hitting on her, she's doesn't hit me as often.

 

Have I mentioned how great it is that Granny Tsunade taught her to punch EVEN HARDER? Yeah, it's just friggin fantastic.

 

“Hi Naruto! How are you?” She stopped in front of me and absently shifted her grocery bag to her hip.

 

“Eh, I'm okay. Who are the flowers for? Is someone in the hospital again?” Maybe Chouji swallowed a spoon again. Man, had that been funny.

 

“No, nothing like that. It's my parents anniversary.” She held up the bag that held a bouquet of white roses. “My dad doesn't know the first thing about flowers and asked me to buy a bouquet of my mom's favorite flowers.”

 

“Ah well, that sorta ties in with what I want to ask you. See um, I need some advice about um… about girls and relationship stuff.”

 

Ero-senin once told me that veteran ninja sometimes gain a sort of six sense that warns you when you've made the wrong decision and the mission is about to go to hell. He said that greenhorn ninja most of the time don't realize immediately when a mission goes south. Sometimes they're not able to figure out what went wrong weeks afterwards either (assuming they haven't been cut up into ninja mush). But the hardened veterans got this sense that tells them, right after a kunai is thrown, or seconds after they zigged instead of zagged, that they made the wrong decision.

 

I think I've suddenly developed it.

 

Sakura was like some kinda spider woman, lit up with happiness that some unsuspecting victim had fallen into her lair and now she was going to wrap him up in a steel web of girl babble and suck him dry with deep meaningful questions about… feelings.

 

“Walk with me to my home Naruto. Sakura the Doctor of Love is here to help.” She started walking in the direction of her home and I very bravely resisted the urge to run the other way and followed her instead. “So what seems to be the problem?”

 

“Eh, well I think someone might like me, but I'm not sure. And I don't want to go up and ask or anything cause if I'm wrong she'll be embarrassed. Hell, if I'm right she might be embarrassed too, but it'll be not as much. It's a whole big embarrassing thing. So how do you find out if a girl likes you or not?”

 

Sakura turned to look at me with a dazed look for a sec, then grimaced. “You're not talking about me are you?”

 

“No!”

 

She seemed sorta annoyed and relieved at the same time. Jeez, Girls. They're so weird. “Ok so it's not me. Who is it?”

 

“It doesn't matter who it is! Heck, how do you know if you like someone?”

 

Sakura shrugged. “Well how did you know that you liked me? Was it my great smile? Kind personality? Brilliant intellect?”

 

“Yeah right, I just thought you were hot.”

 

Danger! Danger!

 

Sakura lifted up her sack of groceries to hit me with them and then stopped mid air. “No, can't hit him now, I've got eggs and flowers in this bag.” She mumbled something to herself that sounded like `vengeance later'.

 

I put a few feet between us while Sakura was busy making an appointment with herself to beat me up. After a few moments, Sakura's rage seemed to have been filed away for later and I figured it was okay to talk to her again.

 

“So um, you got some girl wisdom to impart on me or what?”

 

Sakura shrugged. “All right, let's see…” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “First of all, it doesn't matter if someone likes you if you don't reciprocate their feelings. Dating them anyway simply to kill time is… well it makes you a jerk and if I hear you're doing that to some girl I'll hurt you.” She cleared her throat. “So moving on, the real question is; do you like her? That's not too difficult to determine; you simply just have to ask yourself a few questions.”

 

“Like what?” And what does reciprocate mean, anyways?

 

“Such as… do you enjoy spending time with her?”

 

Hmm… well, lately we have been spending more time together. She's a great listener, when I talk I feel like she's really soaking up everything I say and taking me seriously. I don't get that very often. I'd wish she'd talk a little more, though. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

 

“What kind of things does she say when you're with her?”

 

“Eh? Well mostly It's just me talking. I talk about a lot of things like—“

 

“Hold on.” Sakura stopped and rolled her eyes at me. “You talk constantly and don't let her get in a single word during the entire conversation, don't you?”

 

“Hey! She says stuff!” Like, yes and no… and head nods count don't they? Well there's sentences in there a lot more than there used to be.

 

Sakura threw her arms up, bag and all in the air. “Gah! No wonder you have no idea if she likes you or not! You don't shut up long enough for her to say anything! Maybe if you learned to shut up for five seconds and actually LISTEN to her you'd know if she liked you or not!”

 

Damn. I guess she's got a point. I'll try to ask questions and such more often. But it's not like she's such a blabber mouth. It's hard to get her to talk for very long. And jeez! I don't talk all that much. Sides, talking a lot is part of who I am.

 

“But talking a lot is my secret Hokage speech training. `Cause Hokages make speeches all the time, ya know?”

 

“I'm serious Naruto. Actually listening to what girls say is important. And listening is an important skill for leaders as well.”

 

Oh. The Hokage does need to listen to his people too doesn't he?

 

“Maybe you're right. I'll try to listen more. I am the listening guy. Beware my listening skills. So what else do I got to know?”

 

Sakura sighed. She didn't look convinced but she wasn't nagging me anymore either. “All right. Back to if YOU like her or not.” She paused for a second. “When other guys talk to her do you get jealous?”

 

Well the only guys she talks to are Kiba and Shino. Stupid Kiba. The joke's on him, `cause if he wants to rip my insides out he's going to have to get in line behind Akatsuki. Excuse me Mr. Itachi I need to get to Naruto first. Yeah, that'll work out rrrrrreally well for dog boy. Since I wouldn't mind kicking Kiba's ass right now so I guess he counts.

 

“Yes?”

 

“All right next--”

 

“What about if I think she's hot?”

 

“A relationship is more than…” She broke off and stared and me and seemed to see something in my expression that made her roll her eyes. “Fine, do you think she's hot?”

 

This question I can answer! “I wouldn't use the word hot, but there could be hotness there. Maybe a better word is pretty? And while I thought the white eyes were weird at first, now I think they're kinda—“ I cringed. “Oops.”

 

“You mean, it's Hinata?!” Her eyes got wide for a moment. “It's… not Neji is it?”

 

“No!”

 

“Well, Neji DID say you were instrumental in turning his life around…” Sakura grinned her evil spider woman grin again.

 

“I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH NEJI!”

 

“L-love?” She brought her hand to her mouth in shock. “You think you might be…” Her face turned red. Her eyes were the size of plates now. “You think you might be in LOVE with Hinata?”

 

“Who said anything about love?”

 

“You did!”

 

“Well, I didn't mean to! I was just trying to deny your stupid theory about—“

 

“Now your ears are getting red!” Sakura raised an eyebrow and grinned at me. “Your ears always get red when you're embarrassed.” She giggled and patted me on the back. “Don't worry Naruto, I'll help you out!” She sighed dreamily and looked off into the distance. “You may be from the wrong side of the tracks and she's a Hyuga, but love will conquer all!”

 

“Hey, Sakura don't say anything to her, I'm not even sure if she likes me.”

 

Sakura stopped in her tracks and slowly turned towards me. She stared in shock at me for a few moments, blinking in slow motion for several moments until she finally came back to earth and shook her head sadly. “You DEFINITLY need my help.”

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” I gave her what I thought was an intimidating glare, but it must not have worked cause she just patted my head absently like a little kid. “Yeah yeah. Don't worry clueless, Sakura the love doctor is here to help.”

 

It's time to get the hell out of here before she uses the `m' word.

 

“First off you'll need a makeover and…”

 

Ack the `m' word! She used `the m word'! I'm out of here!

 

I created a kage bunshin, had it take my place, and ran the hell away. I could hear her still talking in the background as I jumped across the rooftops.

 

“And then we'll get you a new outfit. Orange is SO not your color. But is orange ANYONE'S color? Hmm oh and we should cut your hair and… you know your skin looks awfully rough you should really exfoliate…”

 

Her voice faded off into the distance and I admit, it gave me cold chills just a little bit.

 

Ok so mission `Ask Sakura for Advice' was not so successful (freakin terrifying was more like it). But at least I escaped the dreaded `m' word and all it comes with. Damn, I'm going to have nightmares now of Doctor Sakura…. Or possibly really kinky dreams… I wonder what Hinata would look like in a nurse uniform?

 

It's a good thing Hyugas can't read minds or I'd be a dead man. Neji and her dad would kick my ass and use that sixty-four palms technique on me. And sixty four times sixty four is… uh… six carry the one plus uh twenty something er other and uh… Well that's a hell of a lot of hands!

 

Damn I can't believe I used the `l' word. But maybe things aren't so out of control? There are two `l' words after all, I'm sure I meant “like”. It'd crazy, how could I l-love her? Oh hell I'm stuttering in my mind! Ok sure, she's awfully pretty when you can get her to smile. And I know from that piggy back ride that her jacket is SO covering up some assets.

 

Not that I'd ever say that to HER. Neji really would try to kill me. Well, try at least `cause I'm too awesome to get taken down by him, jounin or not. Sides, she wouldn't even hit me after saying something like that. It'd probably just hurt her feelings and then I'd have guilt and guilt sucks.

 

Not that she couldn't hurt me. I heard that she has gotten a lot stronger while I was gone. Kiba told me how his team did in their last chunin exam. Hinata hit a Lightning Country nin so hard, he was knocked clear through a concrete wall! I'd have paid good money to see that!

 

Ok so sometimes I catch myself wondering where she is and what she's doing… But that's not that unusual right? Everybody wonders what they're friends are doing at odds hours of the night. Or I think of a joke and wonder if it will get her to laugh and not one of those polite proper laughs either but one of those embarrassing loud snorting pig laughs.

 

And once, near the old academy swing, I almost kissed her.

 

But none of that means anything. I'm just curious… I'm a natural curious kind of guy. And what guy doesn't randomly think about making out with pretty girls? It's a guy thing. It doesn't mean anything. A shallow non-feelings guy thing. That's what we do. We're animals.

 

It doesn't mean anything…

 

 

 

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