Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Likening ❯ Likening ( Chapter 1 )

Likening

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

----------------------

The girl had been sent to take care of him, as most youngsters do their aging seniors some time or other in life.

She'd laugh if she'd have heard his thoughts. Tell him it was silly to think that way. He supposed her amusement would be justifiable. He really wasn't all that old. Not by most standards.

He wasn't even thirty.

But thinking didn't necessarily always constitute to feeling. And watching her from his immobilized place atop his narrow bed reminded Kakashi of that. It was always strange, when someone whom you hadn't seen in a long time re-entered your life. The first thing you tended to notice was all the subtle changes that he or she had undergone. Changes you never would have taken to heart if you'd been in constant contact with the person. Whenever he thought of her, it'd always been a child that he'd pictured in his mind. It was only now, after seeing her with his own eyes, that full realization had hit him hard.

He'd become conscious of the fact that his mental picture had been out of date. Nearly three years out of date. And suddenly, he'd felt old.

He'd woken upon sensing another presence in his room and had recognised the girl's pink locks and soft smile almost immediately. Her hair colour had been a blatant inconsistency to his distinctly male living quarters. They added a feminine vibrancy to his otherwise bland surroundings. It might have been refreshing. He'd been in too much pain to care.

She'd flounced about her business in his apartment, sorting and cleaning anything that would warrant her attention. Of course, that meant every surface top, floor board and ornamental object that he owned. Perfectionism was a trait he didn't think she'd ever grow out of.

The entire self-appointed task had taken her all of fifteen minutes. He didn't have much.

She'd even polished his forehead protector. An action to which Kakashi had raised his right brow. It was just about the only physical movement that didn't hurt to perform. She'd stuck her tongue out in retaliation.

He now eyed the gleaming head piece in silent contemplation. Holding the miniscule object up above his face was a chore. His muscles screamed their protest beneath layers of white gauze.

The bandages hid a great many injuries.

If he looked hard enough, he could see the dark blood stains that soiled the inner-most layers of fabric.

She would rewrap them later.

Kakashi sighed. He'd received quite a beating this time. He not only felt old. He felt old and drained.

It wasn't so much the physical strain of his latest mission. It was more the fact that it had shaken him into a certain mind-numbing awareness. One that he now knew he'd been unconsciously pushing aside for the last three years. Perhaps he'd been sporting his laid back outward appearance for so long that laziness had started to act on the more realistic side of his personality.

How long had he been pretending that the boy hadn't changed into something he despised?

Kakashi dropped his arm. The blue and silver of his head band fell along with it. The accessory wasn't so much a forehead protector as it was a means of identification. It proclaimed to the world that what its wearer was. A shinobi. A soldier of Konoha. But unlike most shinobi, his had a secondary function. It hid something deadly. Something valuable. The sharingan had been his most prized weapon since the moment he'd received it. It was an unnatural addition to his person that he both loved and despised. It had kept him alive. Kept his memories of friends alive. Kept his promises to them alive. And that had made him stronger.

But behind all good things, there would always be the bad. It was the way the world worked. His left eye served as a constant reminder to that. It made him remember what he was. What he had been.

And he'd been… just like him.

That windy afternoon, amidst falling debris and rubble, Kakashi had lifted the navy strip away from his left eye and tucked it behind his ear. It was then, that sharingan had met sharingan. Staring into the crimson orbs of his opponent, realization had hit Kakashi hard. It might have been the primary cause of his defeat.

What right had he to condemn the boy?

He'd grown up just like him. Pushed away his friends just like him. Sought only power. Just like him. Was a living, breathing replica of him.

Kakashi frowned and shut his eyes. His right hand fingered the village crest on his forehead protector. It traced the rounded curves and pointed tip. And behind its newly added shine, the metal plate sported all assortments of scratches and abrasions. Each yielding its own small tale about how it came to be. The dark fabric it was attached to was worn and held the fleeting odour of blood.

The accessory had seen better days. It resembled him in that sense.

Kakashi forced himself to snap out of his current train of thought. He hated being bed-ridden like this. It made him contemplative. The way he'd started likening everything to himself had been proof of this. If it hadn't hurt so much to do so, Kakashi would've shaken his head. He settled for a sigh instead.

She'd cast a curious glance in his direction at that but hadn't bothered to ask what was wrong. She knew him well enough. He wouldn't have given her a straight answer. That was just the way he was. He didn't like putting thought to words. It was annoying having to work his brain like that.

Kakashi shut his eyes.

There was nothing to do. He would have given both his legs to have been able to read an Icha Icha Paradise novel to pass the time. He knew it was impossible, though. His arms couldn't even lift his forehead protector higher than two inches from his head. He doubted they'd be able to hold up a thick wad of paper. And somehow, he didn't think she would consent to reading out loud to him.

A soft huff brought his attention to the other end of the room. He was grateful for the distraction.

It appeared she'd taken to organizing his collection of books, the most worn and well-used of all the items in his apartment. He'd kept them sorted well enough. Orange on one side. All other colours on the other. His collection was ninety percent orange. However, it seemed she preferred them in alphabetical order. A's first and Z's last.

So maybe he wasn't the only one feeling bored.

Of course, the task required her reading of the titles on every cover. Her green eyes narrowed every so often at some of the questionable wording. Touching what both she and Naruto had deemed immoral and disgusting during their genin days seemed to nauseate the girl, but she'd set herself a goal and was determined to complete the task. She held the paperbacks at a reasonable distance from her person as she shuffled the volumes around. Once, out of sheer curiosity, she'd chanced a peek into one of his infamous novels after giving him a questioning frown. Her thoughts had been obvious then.

-What's so great about these anyway?-

He'd merely crinkled his eyes in response. Her frown had deepened at the show of innocence. It had deepened even more as she'd skimmed the page for the next five minutes. He heard more than saw the book being slammed shut after the girl emitted a loud gasp. By then, his gaze had turned to the window. Even still, he'd felt her angry glare towards him. He knew she was blushing. She'd muttered a single word before stomping away from the cause of her disgust.

"Pervert."

The orange novel fell to the floor.

Kakashi closed his eyes and smiled slightly beneath his mask. Despite all the time that had passed since that incident had taken place, despite all the chaos of the world outside, despite all the anxiety of the impending war, it was good to know that there were still some consistencies in life. She hadn't changed. Well, not much. She was older, yes. A little taller. A lot more composed.

He hadn't seen her in a while. He hadn't seen any of his former students in a while.

And now, he'd been forced to face two of them within the span of three days. Life was funny like that. Both reunions had been purely circumstantial. Though the first had been… a lot less pleasant than the second…

Kakashi held back a cringe. The gashes on his torso had started to burn again. His face remained impassive even as the pain grew in intensity. He called her name softly.

She hadn't needed any more prompting. Perhaps she had changed more than he thought.

Sitting up was difficult and it hurt more than his pride would allow him to admit. Her supporting hand on his back helped. As she'd knelt at his side, Kakashi could tell that the girl was well-practiced. That much was obvious. Even with her right arm and half her upper body occupied with keeping his heavier frame up, she'd managed to undo his older bandages, dress his wounds and secure two whole fresh rolls around his chest and back.

She'd been silent and concentrated the whole time. Another quality that he regretted missing her grow into. She shifted to kneel behind him on the bed and started unwinding the third and final roll of gauze. She kept one supportive hand on his mid-back the entire time.

Her voice hovered somewhere near his nape when she spoke.

"Sensei."

The breath that touched his neck was cool, not at all unwelcome by his feverish skin. Her voice had been soft, hesitant. Kakashi knew what was coming. He couldn't decide if he'd been dreading this moment or not. He stayed silent. She would say what she needed to in her own time. Her hand had stopped moving, it hovered at his side, gripping a handful of gauze so tightly that the fabric crinkled and her fist shook. Kakashi knew now why she had moved behind him. The cheerfulness, the smiles, the way she had kept her self busy from the moment she'd arrived. It had been her way of dealing with… it. He could feel her short intakes and expulsions of breath as her mouth opened and closed a few times, trying and failing to voice her thoughts. When she finally spoke again, Kakashi had to strain his ears to hear her.

"Sensei. Was-was he…"

Alright? Different? Stronger? More heartless?

"I mean… Did he…" Still remember us? Did he remember her?

She couldn't bring herself to finish the question. Her head lowered to allow for her bangs to shield her eyes. Perhaps she couldn't decide if she wanted to know the answer. Perhaps she was ashamed of looking at him, even if he couldn't see her in his position. How could you face an injured man while you showed such obvious concern for his aggressor?

It had been a whispered question. But his years as a high-level shinobi had taught him how to interpret human beings to perfection. Even though he couldn't see her, even though she hadn't had the courage to finish her question, even though he knew she felt guilty for asking, he was certain she was desperate for his answer. She needed to know.

She'd needed to know since the day the boy had left her young self distraught and tearful to pursue his own dark path. She'd needed to know ever since one of her best friends had been beat down by the same individual who had crushed her young hopes. She'd needed to know for the three long years she'd kept her fears bottled up deep within as she struggled to become stronger. Kakashi shut his eyes and exhaled.

"He was different." Stronger.

The hand on his back stiffened. Her nails unconsciously dug into the skin of his back. Kakashi didn't protest the searing throb of his wounds. He felt the need to bring her some semblance of relief.

"But he was still… Sasuke."

Power-hungry, ruthless, cold, calculating Sasuke. A genius. And a murderer. Just like the man he sought to defeat.

Fighting his former student had been difficult. Seeing what he had become had hurt more than he was willing to admit. The guilt had made him hesitate. Made him vulnerable. He had held back.

They both had.

He had let his guard down and suffered defeat. And Sasuke had let him live. A petty token to the man who had guided him on his first steps to power.

Irony had struck during the final minutes of the fight. Hatake Kakashi. Downed by his very own technique. The one he'd passed on to the boy with the purpose of protecting his comrades. He hadn't been able to help the small, cynical smirk that had graced his face as he'd plummeted to the ground in his last moment of consciousness.

His lips threatened to break into a sardonic smile once again. She continued wrapping the white strips of fabric around his torso.

There had been no finality in his answer. No closure. Yet he couldn't bring himself to offer her more. He supposed it had sufficed. The girl finished with her task, and sat back on her heels. She kept both hands planted firmly, side by side on his upper back. Her gaze dropped lower to the area that her right hand had previously been. Her nervous grip on it earlier had been entirely too strong. It had opened up some of his wounds.

The dark crimson stain she had caused to appear painted a morbid and unsightly picture. It must have hurt. Why hadn't he said anything? She frowned.

A gentle hand dropped to smooth itself over the area, as if trying to take back the pain it had caused. The action was comforting and she continued doing so for some time. Her eyes, though fixated on the movement of her hand, became distant. Reminiscent.

For a while, they stayed like that. Him sitting, unmoving. Unable to support himself without the borrowed strength from her presence behind him. And her, lost in her own quiet thoughts and distant memories, running her fingers lightly, distractedly, over the same spot on his back.

He felt her drop her forehead onto his shoulder. The weight of it there was not uncomfortable. He noticed that her hand had stopped its repetitive motion to rest lightly over his skin. Her next words were whispered. Pained and sincere.

"I'm sorry, sensei."

Those three words could have meant a good many things. Things that she needn't have voiced for him to understand. She was apologizing for what she'd done to his abused back. She was showing her sympathy for what he'd been through. She was voicing her guilt for still caring about the one who had done this to him.

"Aa."

And he, too, needn't have said more. The silence that followed was a comfortable one.

--------------

He woke to the sound of creaking hinges. Since when had he fallen asleep?

It took some time for his mind to clear itself of the haze of slumber. Even then, his mismatched eyes found it a struggle to adjust themselves. More so the sharingan because it had always been used to the veil of darkness. Like his throat, they were parched, and it was difficult to open them fully. The low evening sun glaring through his window above at just the right angle to be blinding, did not help matters.

As if she'd felt his silent plight, she shut the door behind her and walked over. The situation of his bed in front of the room's lone window saw her leaning over him to reach its curtains. Her slight, hovering form provided a partial blockade from brilliant orange rays. The shadow she cast over his face was momentary. It disappeared when navy blue drapes slid into place between them and the glass pane.

He would have thanked her. But found his voice lacking. When was the last time he'd had something to drink?

Once again, the girl hadn't needed to be told. She was sharp, that one. He guessed he had never given her enough credit for that.

Sitting up was easier this time. She must have used her healing jutsu on him while he'd slept. He was grateful when she made no move to support him this time. Merely lifted him into a sitting position and held the cup out for his hand to grasp. She knew how he hated being babied.

He nearly frowned when he found his grip still weak. Her exit into the bathroom left him free to pull down his mask and take his first sip. He managed to down the whole cup of water without spilling too much of its contents onto himself.

She'd teased him a little while mopping the liquid off the floor later, to which he'd responded with mock offence. She'd noticed the minute he had started feeling drowsy again and had pushed him back onto the mattress. He'd playfully accused her of drugging his water. She'd rolled her eyes and told him that it was for his own good.

It was odd. Having her mother him, her senior and former mentor. Irony seemed to come in bulk where his ex-students were concerned. The last thing he saw before he lost the battle with sleep, was the girl leaning over his body to perform the hand signals that initiated her healing jutsu.

"Good night, sensei."

-----------------

His eyes had creaked open when he felt an unfamiliar warmth radiating from somewhere to his left. He grew alarmed. It took a second longer than usual for his hazy mind to realise that he was in familiar territory. His room was dark and there was something pressed to his side.

The girl's hair had been painted a deep blue by the lack of light in the apartment. She lay curled up beside him, just a few inches shy of the edge of the bed. Kakashi tried to think back to what might have caused this unusual occurrence. It wasn't every day that he'd find a former student laying beside him in bed.

He frowned. That hadn't sounded right.

The ache in his muscles had lessened to a dull throb. That was it. She'd probably drained her chakra reserves performing her healing jutsu and had collapsed from exhaustion. The girl had absolutely no sense of self preservation. For someone so mentally gifted, she could be rather silly. His female ex-student was one big bundle of inconsistencies. Loud one moment, and nervous the next. Selfish to a certain degree and yet unconditionally sacrificing when she deemed necessary. She hadn't changed. And yet she had. It didn't really make sense to him.

She was gripping the sleeve of his shirt tightly with both hands. The fabric had become scrunched and crumpled. He tugged at his arm and her hold tightened. He tugged some more and she frowned and curled her body up tighter. Kakashi gave up and sighed.

The effects of the drug, though lessened, had still to completely wear off. He doubted he'd be able to make it to his couch without collapsing halfway and possibly reopening his wounds. She'd be angry if that happened.

The mattress wasn't used to having anyone but himself occupy its surface and making more room for her was hard.

He pulled her small frame closer instead.

---------------

She hadn't woken until noon the next day and had gotten over her initial embarrassment about her position on his bed long enough to throw a fit when she'd sat up to find him not lying beside her, but perched on his living room couch. His eyes had been focused on his Icha Icha novel as she'd jumped up and raved at him about how he had risked re-opening his wounds from moving too much.

Seeing her attempt at reading his Icha Icha novel the day before had made him want to read one too. He had initially pulled himself out of bed for just a small peek. He should have known that he'd be engrossed after five minutes of skimming. Forcing his tired legs to support himself had been a huge challenge. He was glad that she hadn't been awake to see his ungraceful stumble across the short distance to his book shelf.

"Sensei!"

He glanced over the top of the page at her in mock innocence. She stood over his sitting form. Arms crossed in a gesture of annoyance. She thought he hadn't been listening to her. He sighed in defeat as she snatched the orange reading material from his hands and he forced his body into a standing position. It must have made an amusing sight. Even with his body hunched from his injuries, the top of the girl's head didn't even reach his chin. But she had her hands on her hips and was glaring at him from her lower disposition with such ferociousness that he crinkled his eyes in amusement. They stayed like that for a moment. Neither wanting to lose the silent battle of wills.

After a while she dropped her gaze and sighed. He was mildly disappointed. He would have expected her to stand her ground for longer than that. She must have still been tired.

Small hands reached for the hem of his dark shirt and lifted the material ever so slightly to reveal the wrappings on his abdomen. She gave a small sigh of relief when she found the bandages unblemished and in position, not noticing how her bold action had caused her teacher's eyebrow to raise slightly.

He was reminded again of how much she'd matured.

It was then, standing before her huffy form, that he'd had the strangest of thoughts. He'd chanced that maybe, just maybe, his life as a shinobi had not entirely been a failure. That there were still things in this world that he could have prided him self in. Good things. For the past three years, he'd been so focused on his flaws, so intent on correcting his mistakes, that he had neglected to notice that not everything that had come out of his past had been entirely bad. It had taken a severe beating from a fifteen year old prodigy and the care of his former team mate after that to show him this.

Suddenly, Kakashi felt guilty.

For all the time he'd been away, for not staying to watch her grow. He acknowledged also that he'd been selfish. The last three years, he'd deemed her misguided team mate his responsibility and had gone all out to bring him back. But he'd failed to see that she had once been his responsibility too.

The girl, satisfied that her ex-teacher had not caused himself any damage, had raised her eyes to his face. She tilted her head in question. He hadn't realised he'd been staring.

"Sensei?"

That simple word. He'd taken it for granted. The fact that she still thought of him as her teacher after all this time. He couldn't believed how he had over-looked the childish admiration she still had for him, despite the fact that he hadn't tried to be as much of a role model to her as he had her two other team mates. He smiled slightly behind his mask. He took a lot of things for granted.

"It's nothing."

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. He crinkled his with mock innocence. They left it at that.

When he next took her medicine and started falling into the realms of sleep, he felt the mattress beside him sink down once more. The girl curled up into the exact same position she had the night before.

He was right, she had still been tired.

-----------------------

The next time she became cross at him, had been the evening of two days later.

It had been storming and he'd that thought she would be out late, catching up on her training with Tsunade. He had gone against her orders to not do anything strenuous thinking that she wouldn't find out. On his two hundredth and eighty-second one-armed push up, she'd burst through the door of his apartment looking frazzled and distraught. Her clothes had been soaked and her hair matted. Her puffy eyes and red nose told him that she had been crying. He'd paused in mid-push up to narrow his eyes at the state she was in.

She'd paused in the doorway, staring, as he got slowly to his feet. For a second, her wide eyes and shivering frame had made her seem small and vulnerable.

But the initial shock quickly dissipated as anger took its place.

"Sensei!!"

She'd screamed and stomped up to his sheepish form. Whatever had been bothering her before was momentarily forgotten. He'd felt the uncharacteristic inclination to back off as her slight form drew closer to his. The state of her clothes and hair had made her look all the more formidable. But, Kakashi being Kakashi, had stood his ground. Even as she had stormed right up to his face and started yelling.

"What the hell did you think you were doing, sensei?!"

He'd given a sheepish smile and scratched a guilty hand to the back of his head, hoping to lighten the mood. Dealing with females had never been a forte of his. He'd never liked it. And had never made an effort to try. Perhaps that was why his next words seemed to only make her more upset.

"Now, now Sakura-chan, I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

His light-heartedness had been lost on her.

"Sensei no baka!!"

At that moment a bolt of lightning had flashed somewhere in the distant sky and for a fraction of a second, the darkness of his room was banished. But in that short time, Kakashi had noticed that something was inexplicably wrong about her. The girl was breathing too hard. Reacting too violently to his actions. When he'd disregarded her `doctor's orders' on previous occasions, she'd merely huffed in exasperation and reprimanded him lightly. Now, she seemed intent on screaming his apartment down. What concerned him most had been her eyes. They had looked entirely too pained and angered to have simply been caused by any action of his.

His smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed. What on earth had happened?

She didn't give him a chance to ask.

"What is with you people?!"

He raised a brow in question. Which people?

"Sakura. What happened?"

She seemed not to hear him. So focused on her own aggravations she'd been.

"Always pushing your selves so hard! Always doing stupid things to become stronger! I'm sick of it!! You could have hurt yourself, you idiot!!"

Her voice had risen to a very high pitch and Kakashi had nearly cringed as it assaulted his ears. He frowned. It hadn't looked like she'd be getting to the point any time soon. She had seemed content to rave about nothing. Kakashi sighed and placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Sakura-chan-"

She'd slapped it away with such force that his eyes had widened a fraction. The girl had never been violent by nature. Not in any way. She jabbed an accusing finger into his chest. Not caring that the wounds in that area had yet to completely heal.

"No!! Don't you do that!"

Do what?

"Don't you talk to me like I'm some stupid little girl that doesn't understand anything!"

Kakashi had raised an eyebrow at that. If he was to get a straight answer out of her, he'd have to make her lower her guard. And the only way to do so, was to make her angrier. Make her direct all of her rage at him. Make her do it until she grew tired from yelling and would be forced to calm down. Maybe then he would talk some rational sense into her. This was the reason Kakashi kept silent as the girl yelled.

"You are the stupid ones! You're all the same! You, Naruto, Sasuke-kun. Always out to prove something! Always out to be the best!"

Her fists had clenched so hard that they shook. Her eyes had looked like they'd never be open again from how tightly she had shut them. Her voice lowered a little.

"You don't care that people around you get hurt because of it! As long as you can become stronger than every one else!"

He might have been getting somewhere. He might not have. He couldn't tell. Had Naruto done something to irritate her again? It was possible. But she didn't seem so much irritated as opposed to irate. The girl was scarily close to making him nervous. Just as Kakashi thought that it was safe for him to speak, she'd started talking again.

"I don't understand you! What's so great about becoming strong anyway?! This whole war was started because some fucked up bastard wanted to be more powerful than everyone else!"

Kakashi frowned at her uncharacteristic swearing. Her next words were harsh. Accusing.

"If this world wasn't so full of power-hungry assholes like you, we'd all be living so much better!"

She was being childish and hypocritical. Hadn't she herself, once so many days ago, declared that she wanted to be strong as well? She had sought power too. It was the reason she had trained so hard all this time. She had been perfecting her charka control. Enhancing her medical abilities. She had no right to accuse him or the boys of being power-crazed.

If she was going to be cruel like this, he decided that he'd return the favour.

"We gain strength to survive, Sakura. We gain strength to make us useful to the people around us. You of all people should know that."

His words were harsh. It implied that there'd been a time he had acknowledged her lack of usefulness to the team. The calmness of his voice only served to rile her up more. She had lounged forward to grip his shirt then. Enunciating each word with a tug. As if she was trying to shake what she deemed as sense into him.

"Tell that to Orochimaru! Tell that to Sasuke-kun! Tell that to Naruto!"

Kakashi was glad his shirt was a loose one. With how tightly she was gripping it, she would have come close to strangling him if it'd been anything but.

"Tell that to all the bastards that made themselves so much stronger than everybody else! At the expense of everybody else! Tell that to YOURSELF!! You stupid hypocritical-"

"Sakura!"

It was then that he decided he'd had enough. This was getting out of control. She was getting out of control. He reached his hands up to pry her fists from his shirt. She'd been shocked by his sudden burst of authority and her hold gave way easily enough. He held her fists tightly within his grasp.

"Let go, Kakashi-sensei!"

His grip had strengthened reasonably due to her regular jutsu sessions with him. She didn't stop struggling even as his deep voice permeated the silence.

"Sakura, listen to yourself. You're hysterical."

She still had yet to work off her anger. She tried without success to pull her smaller hands from his.

"I have every right to be, Kakashi-sensei!!"

Even in her distraught state, she'd never failed to acknowledge him as her teacher. The girl's voice started to give him a headache.

"You're reckless and stupid!!"

Somehow Kakashi had the feeling that this was no longer about his straining his body unnecessarily by doing push-ups in his half-recovered state. Perhaps it had never been. Kakashi raised an eyebrow when she tried to kick him. Her voice hadn't lowered.

"You have no sense of self-preservation!!"

Kakashi had smiled at that. Hypocrite.

"Stop laughing at me you idiot!!"

She pulled and tugged. But Kakashi wouldn't let her win. His goal had been to tire her out and he planned to stick to it. Once, she even tried to bite his hands off her. But he'd pulled his knuckles clear of her mouth in time. The girl had more spunk than he was willing to believe. His injured arms, having previously been given a work out, started to tire sooner than he was comfortable with.

The chair beside his bed, the one she usually occupied, had been a welcome solution to his plight. The girl found herself being dragged over and forced into it. Kakashi kept both hands locked onto her upper arms. His standing position gave his weakened limbs the leverage they needed to hold the girl down without exhausting themselves.

"Sensei no baka!!"

She was now breathing a lot faster. It was only a matter of time. He lowered his head, shut his eyes, and waited. He kept her there until her struggles had died down. Until they eventually disappeared altogether. He'd looked up when he'd sensed her calm down.

She'd been crying. And her words held no more bite to them.

"Kakashi-sensei no baka…"

She'd choked on that last syllable. And Kakashi had been reminded again how much he abhorred dealing with women. Emotional as they were. This girl was no exception. He still had yet to discover the cause of her hysteria.

It would have been ethical to comfort her. But he didn't know how. After all, he seemed to be the unknowing cause of her breakdown, clueless as he was as to how he'd done it.

So he opted for staying silent.

Releasing her arms, he'd straightened himself and turned around. Not wanting to let her see how drained she'd made him. He was sure at least one of his wounds had re opened.

Kakashi sighed. At least she wouldn't be able to pin that one on him.

The silence that followed was awkward for him. But it was eventually her that chose to break it. Her voice had been nothing more than a whisper. She'd managed to compose herself by then.

"I went there today."

He didn't turn around.

"I-I saw…"

He heard a slight hitch in breath.

"I saw all the people he hurt." All the people he killed.

He closed his eyes. She should never have been made to see that. He understood now. Her anger. The reason she had run through the rain crying to his apartment.

"They said…"

He looked over his shoulder. Her knuckles had turned white from how tightly she'd been gripping the arms of the chair.

"They said he did it… to test his strength."

Just like his brother. Exactly like his brother.

Kakashi sat down on the bed, his head lowered and hands clasped between his knees. Silvery bangs hid his eyes from her.

"You got in his way."

Her voice had been less muffled then. It probably meant she'd turned to face him.

"And you wouldn't back down." Even though you knew you wouldn't be able to fight him whole-heartedly.

She'd sounded angry then.

"He nearly killed you." Nearly killed his sensei.

She'd finally come to accept it. That the boy was scarcely redeemable.

"And now…"

Her breath hitched again and she breathed deep to compose herself.

"And now Naruto's gone off to face him."

Kakashi chose that moment to look up at her. The girl looked absolutely lifeless now. Her eyes weren't their usual brilliant shade. She looked away.

"Baka."

She didn't know if she'd been talking about him or Naruto. Probably both.

The pitter-patter of rain outside slowed. And he suddenly remembered that she was still soaked.

The shirt he tossed at her looked exactly like the one he had currently been sporting. His wardrobe was bland, much like the rest of his home. He doubted she'd fit his trousers.

She didn't sleep with him that night.

------------------

He'd gone back to shinobi work after that.

She stopped coming to his place. Her duties had ended after all. Still he found himself thinking about her words of that night. He supposed he now acknowledged why she'd been so angry at him for risking himself. In her own peculiar way, he knew she'd been showing her concern. He was reluctant to admit that she probably cared more than anyone else in the entire village. Maybe except for Naruto.

For the longest time, Kakashi had simply categorised the girl as happy and carefree. He'd always thought of Naruto and Sasuke to be the problem children. He knew now that he might have been wrong. The girl had her own demons to deal with. Watching the people close to her drift further and further away had to have hurt more than anyone could have imagined. Even still, she had stuck to her fervent hopes and beliefs for all this time. The girl was a lot stronger than anyone could have given her credit for.

But he was afraid the events of that day, the day she had visited the village that Sasuke had massacred, might have broken some part of her. And that troubled him.

But what could he do? She probably hated him.

He'd been thinking that ever since she'd exited his apartment that night. The impassiveness of her face had been the most alarming factor. It stuck in the forefront of his memory even after two weeks had passed.

It was this negative mentality that'd had him most surprised when she'd appeared in his apartment that wet Friday night.

He'd been asleep and had woken upon sensing another presence at his side. He'd known it was her instantly. Somewhere in the back of his head, he realised that he should have been alarmed that he hadn't sensed her coming in. But he supposed his instincts had gotten used to her. They didn't deem her a threat.

"Sensei."

She'd whispered and propped herself up onto her elbows. He hadn't bothered to open his eyes.

"I need to try something."

That had had him curious. Why was she telling him that? Unless…

"You're using me as your guinea pig."

He could almost see her slight smile.

"I guess. Is that alright?"

How could he refuse?

"I guess."

He'd felt her shift then. Felt her lean over him. Her left arm came to rest on his other side. Should he have been surprised when he felt the girl's lips come in contact with his? Perhaps. He didn't know. Should he have been troubled?

He hadn't been.

Maybe it was the thin fabric that separated them. It prevented things from getting too personal. From becoming too unethical.

She'd let her lips linger where they were for the longest time. He felt the warmth of her breath through the cloth of his mask. When she lifted herself off him a few minutes later, he felt his hand on her lower back drop down to his side again. He couldn't remember when it had moved into that position.

She returned to her curled up place at his side. Kakashi didn't know why the girl liked to sleep in that position so much. He hadn't missed the enlightened smile that had spread across her face before she'd buried it into his sleeve. Maybe some day, he'd be able to pull him self out of his own lazy little world to ask what she'd meant by that.

The last thing he heard before he drifted into his first peaceful sleep in two weeks, was the girl's soft voice, sleepy in its own right, to him.

"Good night, sensei."

And of course, Kakashi, being himself, would not read very much into any of the events that took place on that wet Friday night.

------------------

He'd made another realization after that.

Perhaps… he hadn't been the only one to have likened Uchiha Sasuke to himself…

------------------

A/N: Random. I know