Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Losing Naruto ❯ The way it has to be ( Chapter 16 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

It was another warm morning in Suna, and Sakura was preparing a cup of coffee, getting ready to face the day. It wasn’t as if it got easier, but as each day went on, Sakura made it a point to tell herself that this was the day things would get better. She had to do that, had to have hope for a good day.

She had been assigned to the small apartments not far from the main building Gaara worked in. She had never lived in an apartment before, which only made the transition to Suna even more difficult. All in all, she decided that it could have been much worse. The apartment was already furnished, tastefully done in maroon and beige colors. It wasn’t cheap, but also wasn’t over the top.

The furniture was brand new, and Sakura couldn’t help but be impressed. She knew Gaara had taken his duties seriously, and was glad that she was welcomed so warmly. Unfortunately, Sakura had never gotten to know him as well as Naruto had, and she had come to regret it.

Simply being in the Kazekage’s presence was unnerving, and she wished she had been able to prepare for it beforehand. Unfortunately, she was too mixed up in other, more personal business.

Naruto.

She knew that she would always love him. But had hoped that in time, she would come to miss him less and less. That wouldn’t be the case, though. The intensity of her feelings had nearly doubled with their time apart. Each and every time she saw a flash of blonde hair her heart would beat faster, and she would frantically search in hope of seeing him, only to find that she had mistaken someone else for him..

Because it was always someone else.

His smiling face was gone, his laugh wasn’t there to brighten up her day. His absence was carving a hole into her heart that she couldn’t fill no matter how hard she tried. And perhaps it was silly to hope that he would come to her door, all smiles, begging her to come back to him. It was foolish to think he still thought about her, when he was probably mere steps away from being the official Rokudaime. But no matter what Sakura did, she couldn’t let go of him.

He often wrote her, but what were once multiple-paged letters, were now hastily scribbled notes. It hurt, but she understood. They no longer lived the same lives.

It was better this way. She had to keep telling herself that, but no matter how many times she thought it, whispered it, screamed it, wrote it…

It never felt right.

And things were only getting harder.

Something that helped a lot was having Temari around. They had become friends before she had went to Suna, since the girl always seemed to hang around Konoha a little more often than necessary. However, after leaving all of her friends and family behind, Sakura and Temari had become close friends, often spending time with each other, talking about Shikamaru, Naruto, and other Konoha events she had missed out on. Which she was grateful for, since she knew Temari wasn’t big on gossip.

One thing Sakura never failed to notice was how the blonde would always get a faraway look when discussing Shikamaru. He still hadn’t returned from his ‘top-secret mission’, and while she said she wasn’t worried, Sakura knew better. Especially since she was also worried about her other friends that had joined ANBU. She had yet to get any word on their condition, and the possibilities often kept her up at night.

And then there were her duties as a medic-nin, always keeping her busy. She was by far the most experienced one in Suna, constantly being sent on dangerous missions to assist the others. Things had only gotten more intense after she passed the Jounin exams three months ago, earning herself a spot on a few S-rank missions. And if that wasn’t enough work, Gaara had recently assigned her a small batch of Jounin as apprentices, who were, to Sakura’s immense relief, learning extremely fast.

The work kept coming, and she kept accepting it without question. Even though she knew it was becoming too much, she wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop. Sakura was determined to find a way to keep her mind off Naruto, no matter what the consequences.

And sometimes, when it became too much, and Sakura was overwhelmed with exhaustion, she was granted a few moments of peace. A few precious moments of relief, where her mind would drift off into a hazy state of nothingness. She needed these moments, thrived for them. It was her solace, and the only way she could find it was through work. So she worked.

It was quickly becoming a routine. She would wake up, make a cup of coffee, eat, shower, get dressed, then work. Sometimes, she would return home so tired she would fall asleep on the couch, shoes on and everything. On better days, she would make it to her bed, but lately these days were fewer and far between.

For the past couple weeks, no big missions had come in, and Sakura had taken to training her apprentices all throughout the day. To make matters worse, she had lately taken to exploding over small, insignificant things. It was something she couldn’t control, and found herself wracked with guilt afterwards.

She knew her outbursts had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the exhaustion and frustration she was constantly feeling lately. Not having any difficult missions to go on was only making things worse.

So as Sakura sat at her small table, drinking the hot coffee she had prepared, she was pleasantly surprised to see a small bird sitting in her window. A huge smile crept onto her face, as the message was relayed. The Kazekage wanted to speak to her. And it was important.

Within minutes, Sakura was charging out the door, dressed and ready for whatever mission she was assigned. Hopefully, it would be S-rank, but she would happily accept an A-rank at this point. Her skills as a medic-nin were constantly needed, yet she still hoped for a solo mission or two, as her other skills were honed to near perfection.

Waving at a few acquaintances along the way, Sakura jogged the short distance to the Kazekage’s building, not wanting to make him wait, and not being able to wait herself. As she walked through the double doors, she looked over at his secretary, a small, timid, nineteen year old chuunin named Rika. Sakura smiled warmly as she approached the large desk the pale, dark-haired girl worked at.

“Good morning, Rika-san.” Sakura bowed to the smiling girl sitting before her.

“Good morning to you, Haruno-san.” She politely bowed her head, folding her hands over her desk.

Sakura laughed softly, shaking her head.

“Rika-san, how many times must I ask you to call me Sakura?”

“I’m sorry, but while I am at work, I must act in a professional manner.” Rika answered seriously, making Sakura smile softly.

“Understood. I assume you know why I’m here?”

With a gasp, the woman shot up immediately, causing Sakura to jump back a few steps. The chair she was sitting on shot back, and hit the nearby wall with a small crash, making the small secretary visibly cringe as she turned to survey the damage.

“Oh no! Gaara-sama is going to be furious! What am I going to do? This is the third time this week I’ve caused such a mess, he won’t be as forgiving this time! Ahhhh! I must look so incompetent to him, why does he even allow me to work here?” The young woman wailed loudly, before putting her head in both of her hands to mumble incoherently.

The only reason Sakura wasn’t seriously worried was because she was used to this. The first time it happened was her second day in Suna, the girl had forgotten her name and apologized profusely for a full three minutes before a nearby chuunin managed to calm her down. In time, Sakura had discovered that the girl was not only cursed with a not-so-sharp memory, but was also a bit clumsy.

And on top of it all, had a monstrously huge crush on a certain Kazekage.

Snapping herself out of her thoughts, Sakura quickly stepped over to the slightly hysterical girl, putting both hands on her shoulders to calm her down.

“Rika-san, please relax. It’s no big deal, trust me. Now, if you would just-” Sakura stretched to grab the chair, which had toppled over a small arrangement of flowers, and pulled it under the young chuunin. “-sit down, and breath deeply, I’ll see myself into the Kazekage’s office. Alright?”

The girl nodded numbly, staring off into space while slowly sitting down in the offered chair. Sakura sighed, slowly stepping away, to walk in the direction of Gaara’s office.

I wonder if she would work better without the crush.

We’ll probably never know.

I wonder why Gaara even lets her work here in the first place, surly he could find a better secretary.

Rolling her eyes, Sakura decided not to think to much about the situation. She knew she could get to the bottom of it if she wanted to, but decided not to bother. Not as if she could help, love was obviously not her best department.

A few minutes later, Sakura found herself standing in front of the Kazekage’s door, not sure if she should knock, or wait for him to notice she was standing outside the door, or call out to-

“Enter.”

Well, I guess he made up my mind for me.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura cautiously opened the door, stepping inside slowly, before closing the heavy door behind her. No matter how many times she had been inside the large office, it never got easier. There was something about Gaara that still struck a chord of fear in her heart. While he was undoubtedly a good man, she knew that if he wanted to, he could kill her in seconds before she even knew what was happening.

His office was lightly furnished, with high, heavily curtained windows, and hardwood floors. An expensive-looking leather couch was set against the wall on her left, in front of it was a black coffee table. A few small, tasteful paintings adorned the white walls, that, coupled with the cleanliness and order of the room almost gave Gaara’s office a museum-like feel.

At the far end of the room was a large oak desk, in back of it was a black leather couch, which was where the Kazekage now sat, filling out a small pile of papers. As she approached the vacant chair in front of his desk, he put his pen down, slowly looking up to watch Sakura with an expressionless stare.

Gaara was no longer the small, angry, homicidal boy she had met all those years ago hanging upside-down in a tree. He was now the leader of his village, proud and brave, making him impossible not to admire. He hadn’t only changed on the inside though, which Sakura couldn’t help but also admire.

He was now around six feet tall, and while he wasn’t as built as Naruto and Sasuke were, he was lean, and carried himself with a strong confidence that made up for everything else. He wore black pants under robes of deep maroon and brown, fitting to his body perfectly. His hair was still red, but had grown a bit longer, and now framed his soft features. Of course, the tattoo on his forehead was still there, but was sometimes covered up by his red, silky tresses.

What made the biggest difference, was how he had lost all traces of baby fat. His nose was now slightly narrow, and he had high cheekbones. His lips were full, but not too full, and he had a strong jaw, which kept his face from looking feminine. Those dark rings were still around his eyes, combining with his red hair to complement his pale skin.

All in all, Sakura wasn’t even a little bit shocked to discover that he had his own unofficial fan club consisting of women of all ages from all around Suna. From the youngest Genin, to the oldest Jounin, to the elderly women who worked at the market - all of them were crazy for the Kazekage.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she bowed deeply before him.

“Good morning, Kazekage-sama.”

Gaara nodded, motioning for her to sit in the chair in front of his desk. With a small smile, Sakura sat, waiting for him to begin. He continued to watch her closely for a moment, and Sakura found herself fidgeting nervously under his scrutinizing gaze. After a few moments, she decided to break the silence.

“Uh, um, you wanted to-uh see me, Kazekage-sama?” Sakura forced a smile, wanting nothing more than to run away, her stomach was tied up in nervous knots. He continued to watch her for a second longer, before standing up and walking over to one of the windows, turning his back to Sakura.

“You can relax, Haruno-san. I mean you no harm.” He calmly said, no tone whatsoever in his voice.

Sakura blanched, her eyes widening.

“Oh, I know, I’m sorry, Kazekage-sama. I’ve just been a little off lately.” Sakura replied, watching him turn his head slightly to look at her, before he turned his head, once again looking out the window.

“That’s one of the things I wanted to speak to you about.” A short pause. “Lately, your work has been slipping.”

Sakura waited, and when he didn’t continue, she figured he must have been waiting for her to say something. Unfortunately, she had no idea what to say to that.

“Slipping?” she question tentatively, “But in all due respect, I haven’t had a mission for-”

“When was the last time you took a day off, Haruno-san?” Gaara interrupted, voice still low, and his tone still devoid of any emotion.

Sakura opened and closed her mouth, before lowering her head to look down into her lap. She absently played with her fingers, which were resting together on her knees as she took a moment to think about what Gaara had just asked.

I haven’t even thought of resting in so long.

Training the medic-nin’s has kept me so busy..

“Furthermore,” Gaara continued, “When was the last time you gave your apprentices a day off?”

Oh.

Now I get it.

“Um, you see,” She answered slowly, not knowing what she was going to say, or why she had even started speaking in the first place.

Luckily, Gaara saved her the trouble of coming up with an excuse.

“Your appearance also worries me. When you arrived, all was well. Yet these past few months, your health had began to deteriorate, and it shows.”

Sakura blinked a few times, letting everything he was saying register. She vaguely wondered what Gaara was getting at, and if he would get to it sooner rather than later.

“When I assigned you that group of Jounin, I had hoped you would teach them well, which you have. Only now, their progress seems to have come to a halt. They are always tired, and their exhaustion has negatively affected their missions, causing three failures this past month alone.”

Gaara continued to look out the window, still keeping his back to Sakura, who was now completely speechless. She knew that she was responsible for the failed missions, and didn’t know what she could possibly say to make the situation better. She wasn’t sure there was anything she could say. She had messed up, plain and simple.

“I was hoping that in time, you would fix the situation yourself, and that I would not have to be involved. It seems I was wrong about you. Don‘t misunderstand me, your skills are impressive, but you have allowed your personal problems to interfere with your work. I was told by the Hokage herself that you were extremely professional, and handled yourself with great maturity. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of placing too much faith in you, Haruno-san.”

Finally, Gaara tuned and sat down at his desk, once again watching her closely. This time though, it didn’t effect Sakura the same way. The usual feeling of nervousness was long gone, replaced with guilt and disappointment. As he continued to watch her, she could do nothing but slump miserably in her chair, frowning deeply.

“I have come to a decision, which is final.”

Sakura mentally prepared herself. She would accept his punishment, whatever it was. Bracing herself for the worst, she brought her face up to look him in the eyes, trying to appear as confident as possible.

“I will do whatever is asked of me, Kazekage-sama.”

At this, she noticed a smirk come over Gaara’s face, shocking her to the core. It wasn’t that evil, sadistic, ‘I’m gonna kill you’ kind of smirk he used to make when they were Genin, but more of a confident, satisfied, ‘you’re playing into my hands’ kind of smirk. Either way, Sakura knew it couldn’t be good. Before she knew it, his face was back to it’s usual blank expression, making her wonder if she might have imagined it in the first place.

“Good.” He simply said after a moment, reaching for his pen and scribbling something down on a blank paper before folding it and putting it aside. Sakura watched it curiously for a moment before her continued.

“You are to accompany myself, Temari and Kankuro tomorrow morning. We will leave at 6 am sharp, and I expect you to be there on time.” He finished, leaving no room for argument.

Is that….my punishment?

It couldn’t be.

“Kazekage-sama,” Sakura slowly began, lowering her gaze, not being able to keep eye contact with Gaara for too long. “About my punishment-”

“Punishment?” He questioned, a tiny hint of curiosity in his voice. “I said nothing of any punishment.”

Sakura whipped her head up to stare at him, completely shocked.

What the hell is going on?

At her questioning look, Gaara continued, closing his eyes for a moment, then answering her question.

“I have made the decision to force you to take a three-day rest. During this time, you will accompany myself and my siblings on a trip. Why you are coming is not important, just know that your presence is required. Understood?”

Sakura nodded, not understanding one bit, but choosing not to question him any more than was absolutely necessary.

“Then you are dismissed.” He motioned for her to leave, and not needing to be told twice, Sakura stood and bowed deeply.

She could tell that she was beginning to annoy him, and wouldn’t dare press her luck any further. She was still shocked that her only punishment was a forced vacation.

Maybe they’re going somewhere horrible.

What if he leaves me there…

She made her way out of his office. As she reached the door, Sakura began to panic slightly, not knowing what Gaara could possibly have in store for her. As she went over the possibilities, she came to the conclusion that it simply made no sense. Why would he force her to go with them, unless…

Unless he was sure I would say no.

That‘s it..

Before she could think twice about it, she turned towards Gaara, noticing he had gone back to his paperwork. Not caring about the violent death she very well could suffer for questioning him too much, she opened her mouth, needing answers.

“Kazekage-sama, may I ask where we are going?” She inwardly winced when he looked up, looking at her with an annoyed expression. He looked her over for a moment before returning to his work. Sakura stood there, watching him expectantly as he continued to write, as if completely ignoring her presence.

Ok, I should probably leave while I still can.

With a small sigh, Sakura turned, facing the door. As her hand closed over the knob, she heard his low voice, stopping her before she could turn it.

“Konoha.”

The hand that was closed over the knob tightened it’s grip, making her fingers turn white under the pressure. Her breath came out in short, ragged gasps. She felt as if her heart had jumped up into her throat, like her stomach had bottomed out, and she was sure she would soon be sick.

Konoha?

Why?

I can’t go back.

I can’t see him again.

Not now.

Sakura remembered telling him, before she left, that she would visit as often as possible. But now that she was faced with the prospect of seeing him face to face, after six long months, she found herself scared beyond reason. Scared of what she would say, of what she would do when faced with those deep, blue eyes once again. Would she be able to put on a brave face, and pretend everything was as good as she said it was in her letters? Would she be able to walk away, once again, even though it nearly killed her the first time?

But perhaps, what worried Sakura most of all, was his reaction. She told herself that she wanted him to be happy when she saw him again. That all she wanted was to see him smile, and tell her that everything was going great.

But deep down inside, she knew better. A large part of herself was well aware of the pain she would feel when she saw him living happily in Konoha. Living happily without her there. When she thought about Hinata holding his hand, laughing, and smiling, it brought a wave of dark emotions over her. Jealousy, sadness, anger, guilt, regret…

It scared her.

Finally forcing herself into the present, she released her grip on the doorknob, bringing her hand up to rest on her stomach. Taking a deep, calming breath, she turned around to face Gaara, bowing deeply. As she stood straight, she prepared herself for what she was about to say.

“I am deeply sorry, Kazekage-sama, but I cannot go.”

He looked shocked for a moment, before his expression changed to one of mild annoyance.

“I recall saying my decision was final. Be ready by 6 am. You are dismissed.” His head lowered, returning to the paperwork before him.

“But, Kazekag-” His head shot up, and he sent a dangerous glare in her direction. She found herself unable to move or speak, and wondered if she had pushed him too far.

I completely forgot who I was dealing with…

“You are dismissed, Haruno-san.” He repeated, his voice was quiet, his tone deadly serious, chilling Sakura to the bone.

“Y-yes, Kazekage-sama.” She bowed deeply, hurriedly making her way out the door, and away from the glare Gaara was sending in her direction. She knew testing him any further would be foolish, and didn’t want to take her chances.

Closing the door behind her with a soft click, Sakura rested against it, letting everything sink in. She couldn’t figure out what was going on. After six long months, she was being forced to visit Konoha, forced to once again deal with her feelings for Naruto. The very feelings she had been trying to stifle through exhausting work and deadly missions.

Why now, though?

Why visit Konoha, what was so important that Gaara…

Wait.

As it dawned on Sakura, her eyes widened, and her mouth hung open slightly. There was only one thing that would make the Kazekage leave his village. And it also explained why he wanted her to go. She felt anger make it’s way to the surface of her confused feelings, slowly consuming her thoughts, as everything became clear.

It must be the Hokage ceremonies.

This isn’t a punishment.

More like a trap.

That blonde moron!

I have to ask him to reconsider, I have no choice.

Decision made, Sakura faced the door, and put her hand over the knob. As she moved to turn it, a small amount of sand quickly made it’s way under the crack of the door. Before she knew what was happening, it was snaked around her wrist, and pulling her hand away gently. She stood, watching in shock as the sand released it’s hold on her, returning to the other side of the door.

Before she could do anything, a muffled voice could be heard from inside the room in front of her.

“6 am, Haruno-san. Do not be late.”

Sakura continued to stare at the door, unmoving. After a few moments, she forced herself to step away, and continued down the hall, only one thought occupying her mind.

That guy really is frightening.

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A/N: Alright, it’s me! My MM.org readers are officially up to date! I’ll post the next chapter as soon as it’s finished, and if you don’t mind, I’d love to hear your thoughts so far! Hope you enjoyed reading it, see you all soon!