Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ mischief's cracktastic shorts ❯ My Nuts ( Chapter 7 )

A/N: I have no excuse for this.

Warnings: total crack! PG-13-ish

Disclaimer: If I were Kishimoto, everyone would be bustin' out the pitchforks right about now. XD

 

 

My Nuts

 

Sasuke threw open the pantry, his eyes swiftly passing over its contents in search of one item and one item only, his favorite late-night snack, his mixed nuts. His eyes found the canister not where he'd last left it, but that was little surprise really. Living with roommates had taught him that things would be moved, and he was learning to deal with it.

 

Removing the lid, he was a little annoyed when he didn't see any of his favorite nuts at first glance, but that's okay, he told himself. Sometimes you have to dig to find them. His index finger began sifting through the roasted, salty treats, pushing some to the side and pulling ones up from the bottom.

 

The peanuts were a little on the thin side, he noted in surprise. Those are usually the last ones to go. There were tons of cashews and even the odd hazel nut but still none of his favorite were anywhere to be seen.

 

“Where the hell did they go?” he growled in frustration before stomping off into the living room. “Sakura, did you eat my nuts?”

 

She looked up at him from the couch, her nose wrinkled in distaste. “You know I don't like them. They taste funny.”

 

“They don't taste funny,” Sasuke defended with an indignant look on his face. “They're just an acquired taste. Whatever. So you didn't eat them?” he added just to clarify.

 

Sakura rolled her eyes and answered in a very patronizing tone, “No, Sasuke-kun. I didn't touch your nuts.”

 

He nodded and went down the hallway in search of Naruto. Someone damn well got into his nuts, and he was going to figure out who. Sasuke heard the shower running and grinned to himself as he threw the door open. “Dead Last, did you eat my nuts?”

 

“What?” Naruto yelled, turning off the water so he could hear better.

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook the canister. “Did. You. Eat. My. Nuts?”

 

Naruto chuckled and pulled the shower curtain open enough to peek around it. “You're going to have to be more specific.”

 

Sasuke would've laughed at the sight of his teammate's hair in a shampoo Mohawk, but he was too annoyed at that moment.

 

“You know which ones are mine! That's the only reason I agreed to share.”

 

“Yeah, but yours looked so good,” the blond finally admitted. “I just couldn't help myself. I had to try `em. They're not bad, ya know. Have a sort of earthy taste.”

 

“Of course, I know! Why do you think I buy them?” he snorted. “But since you ate all of them, you're going to go buy more.”

 

“But the thing's still half full!” the water-logged shinobi protested.

 

“You ate all the ones I like!”

 

“So eat my nuts.” Naruto grinned as if the answer were obvious, and Sasuke couldn't help but make a face.

 

“No. They're small. And way too salty.”

 

“Just because you like those weird-looking, giant ones doesn't mean mine are small. They're a good size. Can put more in your mouth that way.”

 

Sasuke stared at his roommate as he thought about that. Okay, so he had a point, BUT that still didn't change the fact that Naruto ate his nuts! “You still owe me some nuts,” he groused as he turned to leave the bathroom.

 

“But I offered to share!” the blond complained.

 

“I bought them, moron.”

 

“Fine,” Naruto grumbled as he pulled the shower curtain closed and turned the water back on.

 

Sasuke almost didn't hear Naruto's mumbled comment of “I got some nuts you can eat,” but he did. His eyebrow twitched, but in a remarkable show of self-control, he ignored the comment and closed the bathroom door as he left.

 

When he walked back into the living room, Sakura was still sitting on the couch, but she had the strangest I-am-trying-really-really-hard-not-to-look-amused expression on her face. It made his eyebrow automatically creep up.

 

“What?” he asked.

 

She cleared her throat and frowned in a poor attempt at looking serious. “Nothing.”

 

Sasuke didn't miss how she was pointedly not looking at him. He rolled his eyes, thinking he had to have the weirdest teammates in all of Fire Country. Sasuke walked past the flushed girl - who was about to chew through her bottom lip - and into the kitchen where he began throwing all the instant noodle meals into a plastic trash bag where they were going to remain hidden until he got his new can of nuts.

 

No one messed with Uchiha Sasuke's nuts, and Dead Last was about to realize it!