Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ My, How Convenient ❯ The Long Night Begins... ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: spare

Disclaimer: Naruto is copyright to Masashi Kishimoto-sensei.

My, How Convenient

by spare

Chapter 2: The Long Night Begins

"We're trapped," Sasuke stated this as flatly, as neutrally, as he could, but a good dose of disbelief still crept into his voice.

Naruto, hunched over where he had hog-tied the old pervert that was their target for this mission and was now in the process of stuffing the unconscious man in one of the closets at the far end of the room, snorted. "Yeah, I noticed."

"All the locks are set on a timer, and won't let up until eight hours have elapsed."

"So we've found out," Naruto (now back to his male, jumpsuit-clad self) mumbled, casting a baleful glance at the tiny display monitor on the bedside table. It looked like any digital clock you could find in an upper-class household, only that it showed the amount of time that remained before the locks in the room were to deactivate rather than the actual time.

7:42, the timer now read. The digits glowed an eerie red in the dimly lit chamber. According the silver watch they'd recovered from Nasu, it was now a little after ten in the evening.

"Hn." Well. Just when he was starting to look forward to getting this mission done and over with as quickly as possible. And it was a pretty straightforward, albeit delicate job, as Tsunade had explained to them earlier. With the dobe, however, nothing was ever that simple.

Suddenly, Naruto's face lit up. "I know!" he exclaimed. "I could use Rasengan and you could use Chidori to blast through the walls. Then we could bust out of here!"

Or, at least, the blond jounin tried. Naruto only got as far as 'Rasengan' before Sasuke interrupted his speech with a none-too-gentle 'bap' on the side of his head. "Usuratonkachi."

Naruto glared back at him. "What?"

"This is a stealth mission, remember?" Sasuke reminded him. "Using those ninjutsu to blast our way through would attract too much unwanted attention."

The dobe squared his shoulders. "Well, do you have a better idea, bastard?"

Sasuke stared at him evenly. "As a matter of fact, I do," he replied. "We'll wait it out."

"We'll WHAT?!"

"You heard me."

"Temee--"

"We don't have any other viable options." And even though his former team-mate could be dense as a brick, Sasuke knew that Naruto knew it, too. Every lock, they discovered, was booby-trapped with alarms. The instant they tried to tamper with so much as one of them, sirens and signalling devices would go off, exposing the presence of two Fire Country shinobi in the sleeping quarters of an incapacitated Thunder Country dignitary, and the both of them could just as well kiss their ANBU promotions -- and their lives -- goodbye. The feudal lords of Thunder Country would be crying for their blood. "Anyway," the Uchiha continued, dark gaze shifting to where Naruto had dumped their target, "Nasu wouldn't be waking up for almost a full day. When the locks deactivate--"

"If the locks would deactivate," Naruto cut in sulkily.

"They will," Sasuke affirmed. "The old goat can't get it up that long. Not without some other motivational tools to help him along." An unpleasant surprise as it was, the two shinobi need not think too hard on what the locks installed all over the room were for. Apparently, Nasu had finally prevailed on the teahouse operators to install the old man's own brand of security checks inside the luxurious bedchamber. The old geezer had probably complained one time too many about his 'playmates' for the night trying to up and run away.

That the girls were paid thrice the usual rate, yet the teahouse owners were still hard-pressed to find employees willing to spend the night with the lecherous goat told much about Nasu's character.

"When the locks deactivate," Sasuke repeated, "I'll henge into Nasu and you'll go back to your sexy-no-jutsu form. Then we'll sneak out as quietly as we can, and no one will be the wiser." His eyes dared the dobe to contradict.

He didn't. "Fine," Naruto grudgingly acceded. "Sounds like a plan. But what'll we do until then?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Sleep." He nodded curtly in the direction of the luxurious king-sized bed occupying the northern half of the suite.

"Together?" the blond shinobi asked, looking like he'd just swallowed something sour.

"You're free to take the floor if you want."

"What? You sleep on the floor!"

"No, I won't,” Sasuke replied. "Anyway, the bed's big enough for the both of us. What's there to bitch about?"

"Nothing," Naruto finally admitted, frowning. He moved away from the closet and gave one last assessing look on the steel bars and locking devices that trapped them inside Nasu's chamber. “Oh, this is just great. Stuck in a room with Konoha's ice prince for the evening. Tsunade-baba must be busting a rib right now.”

Sasuke gave a derisive snort. “It's not like I want to be here, either,” he muttered. “Dobe.”

“What did you say?!”

"Hn." The Uchiha turned around. "Well, I'm going to sleep." He was tired, after all. He'd received the summons from the Fifth Hokage just two days fresh from a B-rank mission. It had been a tedious, uneventful affair. He'd had more trouble fending off the niece of the wealthy merchant whose family he was assigned to protect than he had disposing of the bandit gang that had threatened them. The girl, three years his senior with a high, whiny voice, had been persistent to the point of absurdity, so much so that Sasuke found himself practicing a new form of defensive taijutsu that wasn't too obvious. Necessity was the bitch mother of invention, after all.

Kiba (who had acquired the jounin title about a year after he and Naruto did) and Konohamaru (now a Chuunin at thirteen years old) called it the Uchiha Chick Repellent Technique. The two shinobi had found the matter quite hilarious.

"If you don't want every skirt you encounter to chase you, Uchiha," Kiba had said, "Why don't you tell them you're gay and be done with it?"

Sasuke's eyes had narrowed, but he'd said nothing in reply. Kiba wasn't Naruto. Kiba had enough sense to shut up and leave him alone when he didn't want to talk. (And he wasn't gay. Of course he wasn't.)

But then, he hadn't really accounted for Inuzuki's penchant for figuratively sniffing into things he shouldn't. “Not that I'm saying you're really like that, of course,” the shinobi had quickly added, misreading his silence for irritation, “But lying about your… sexual preference… could solve a lot of things,” Kiba concluded.

“Kiba,” he had began, deciding then that a more direct approach was called for, Bug off. But he didn't get to say that, because Konohamaru had arrived by then, fresh from his patrol of the surrounding area, and had immediately informed them that he'd finally identified the spy among the family's servants who'd been aiding the bandits' abduction attempts of the past four months.

And so it was that their previous topic of conversation had been quite conveniently dropped with no hurt feelings, and back to the mission they went, and Sasuke didn't remember any such talk implicitly accusing him of being gay until now, when he was tired and wanting much-needed sleep.

He blinked.

Naruto was already on the bed, fluffing out one of the pillows and yawning. The dobe had removed his coat and sandals, too, leaving the blond only in a black shirt with a red spiral décor at the front and his orange pants. Sasuke watched - impassively, mind you - as the blond shinobi finished patting down the pillow to an acceptable level of comfort-provision and flopped down on the bed, sighing contentedly.

“This is a nice enough place to get locked in, I guess,” Naruto remarked lazily. He looked up to where Sasuke still stood at the foot of the mattress, and arched an eyebrow. “You plan to stare off into space all night?”

“Hn,” Sasuke replied, and climbed onto the un-Naruto-occupied side of the bed.

“You didn't take your sandals off,” Naruto commented.

“We're still on a mission.” Unlike a certain loudmouth shinobi, Sasuke wasn't one to let his guard down, especially on high-priority assignments as this.

Really.

Usually.

The fact that he was zoning out just moments before meant that he really needed that sleep. It occurred to him that he hadn't slept much for the past couple of days; right after his previous mission had ended. Which was right after Kiba had given his quite unsolicited advice.

“I know we are,” Naruto replied defensively. “But it's not like anyone's going to come in and check on us anytime soon, ok?” the blond went on, glancing around the barricaded, lock-filled room.

Sasuke knew that, too. The only passageway that wasn't barred led to the bathroom (the plush kind, with black marble tiles, an assortment of soaps and body oils, maroon towels, a shower stall, and, last but not the least, a bathtub more than big enough for two).

The Uchiha stared up at the ceiling. It only figured.

“I deserve to relax, anyway,” Naruto was saying, sounding smug. “I did a lot more than you for this mission.”

Sasuke found himself smirking in the dark. “Behave like a heroine from Jiraiya-sensei's books,” he returned dryly. “Right.”

“Let's see you try it!”

“Hn.”

“Jerk.” With that, Naruto rolled over, taking most of the thick downy quilt spread out over the bed with him, and went to sleep.

His dark-haired former team-mate spent some moments not-listening to the sound of the blond's steady breathing, while not-thinking about a conversation he'd had two days before. And how this was the first time he'd ever shared a bed with Naruto - Naruto, of all people. Or anyone at all.

A few minutes later, Sasuke slept, too.

x x x

From the onset, Naruto knew he was dreaming. He had to be, because he was still walking down the corridor with Nasu staring at his butt, when he knew they'd already taken care of the disgusting pervert hours ago. And he was still wearing his kimono, even though he wasn't in his sexy-no-jutsu form.

The next second Nasu was shoving him into the open doorway, into a chamber lit only by the spare paper lanterns hanging from the walls. He looked back, because that was what he did before, and there was Nasu right behind him, looking old and bald and ugly, a thin line of drool trickling from the side of his gaping, leering mouth.

”And now,” Nasu announced, “let us begin the festivities.”

Naruto took a step backwards - like he did before, knowing that the old pervert would now advance toward him. Except that the lecher didn't so much advance as charge straight at him, moving so fast that Naruto could barely blink.

One moment Nasu had been standing by the door and the next he wasn't; the next he was right in front of Naruto, the old pervert's stinky breath all over his face, sweaty hands pulling his clothes down, exposing his body. And Naruto realized with dawning horror that he couldn't fucking move, couldn't push and punch the guy away for some insane reason, as the lecher's hands squeezed and fumbled their way over his frozen body, his own hands hanging limp and useless against his hips. He, Naruto, Kyuubi vessel, jounin, and future Hokage was about to be molested by a drunken old coot. In a dream, no less. His mind reeled and rebelled against the idea where his dream-body couldn't, screamed that it simply wasn't fair, that wasn't what was supposed to happen next, that if it were his dream he should be able to move and whoop the guy's ass, dammit, and WHERE THE FUCK WAS SASUKE?!

”Right here, dobe.”

Naruto opened his eyes, unaware until then that he'd squeezed them shut (was it possible to close your eyes in a dream?). In front of him, Nasu had gone still. Sasuke had struck him at the back of his neck. Naruto watched the old pervert fall to the carpeted floor in a graceless slump, unconscious. The paralysis that had held him in place had vanished - if it ever had been there. His knees buckled, his body trembled violently with a mixture of shock and relief, and he would have fallen heavily on the floor right beside where Nasu lay if Sasuke had not caught him in time.

He had a momentary feeling of disorientation before he felt warm strong hands winding around him and his face was pressed intimately up against a broad, muscular chest. Sasuke. Naruto snuggled closer, hands clutching fistfuls of the deep blue overcoat the dark-haired shinobi wore to steady himself.

Only then did he realize two things. One, this was Sasuke he was feeling up. Two, he was very, very naked.

Naked and rubbing against Sasuke.

Naked, rubbing against Sasuke, and horny as hell.

On regular days, Naruto would have found something intrinsically wrong with this arrangement.

Because it was a dream, however, it all made perfect sense. As it did with regards to pressing his full weight on the other shinobi, angling it expertly so that Sasuke fell backwards right on the bed, Naruto on top of him. And because it was a dream, Sasuke was not an uptight, stone-faced, straight bastard who'd push him away and ask him what the hell he was doing. Dream-Sasuke was wrapping his arms tighter around his waist. Dream-Sasuke was craning his head forward to lick the strong cord of his neck. Dream-Sasuke was lifting his hips slightly to meet his, so that their erections - one bare, the other still confined - brushed up against each other. Dream-Sasuke was as hot and hard as he was.

“Sa—ah! Sasuke!” Naruto whispered brokenly. “The—the mission—“

”Screw the mission.” The dark-haired shinobi barely paused in his ministrations. One hand released its hold on his waist, skated down his side and settled between his legs, fondling him. Naruto gasped, leaning into the contact, and—

x x x

Somebody was moving over him. Usually, Sasuke's finely honed reflexes would have automatically kicked in, enabling him to dislodge the other person without a thought, a quick hold instantaneously reversing their positions with the added bonus of a kunai pressing snug against his assailant's throat. But this time he found himself unable to move. The person straddling his body somehow knew how to counter such a hold, and so instead he only managed to open his eyes - his red, baleful Sharingan eyes, mind snapping into an instant state of alertness, intent to disable his opponent more forcefully.

“Uh…”

Except that it wasn't a stranger. Naruto? Sasuke blinked up at his blond-haired former team-mate disbelievingly.

“Unh… uh…”

The shinobi's hands held him firmly by the wrists, legs positioned expertly as to render his own immobile, Naruto leaning so close forward that the neck of his shirt, pulled down by gravity to expose the beginnings of a tanned, well-defined torso, tickled Sasuke's nose.

Sasuke caught a whiff of miso and sake, swallowed, and blinked a few more times before three things registered. One, the idiot was asleep. Two, the idiot had managed to straddle him while still asleep. Three, the idiot was hard (that thing prodding insistently against his thigh sure wasn't a kunai). And if this last discovery won't be enough to freak any normal person out, Naruto suddenly made a noise at the back of his throat that was half-grunt, half-moan, tilted his hips forward and lower so that his crotch effectively rubbed against Sasuke's thigh, and shivered.

Sasuke shivered, too, but wasn't freaked out. At least, not that much. Not yet. He tensed up, mind racing to completely assess and identify the most viable shinobi course of action for such a situation. What To Do When You Wake Up And Find Your Best Friend Rubbing Himself Off On You. Struggle? (For a sleeping guy, Naruto was surprisingly strong.) Scream your head off? (The walls were certifiably sound-proofed. He'd checked himself.) Use the substitution technique? (Naruto held his own hands immobile, so hand seals were out of the question.)

“Ha…” Naruto sighed. The blond's mouth was partially open, lush lips parted to show the tops of even white teeth and just the barest hint of a tiny pink tongue. Naruto raised himself up over his former team-mate ever so slightly, then rocked his hips forward again, grinding himself on the jounin. All the while Sasuke squirmed, feeling parts of him stirring to life that shouldn't. Not with Naruto.

“Sa…” But Naruto held him down, and despite his struggles, Sasuke couldn't move. And Naruto was warm. Sasuke swallowed thickly. So warm. And—

“Sasuke…” the blond whispered.

OK. This has gone far enough.

Closing his eyes, Sasuke arched upwards as best as he could, unceremoniously bumping his forehead - hard - against Naruto's jaw.

THWACK.

A brief flash of pain, and then an “Itaii!” practically yelled in his ear precluded Naruto's return to consciousness. The blond jerked his head back, face contorted comically in a pained grimace, and said the next thing that must have come to mind, blue eyes all hazy and muddled from sleep. “Temee Sasuke! Why'd you do that?!”

“Hn,” the dark-haired jounin quite typically replied, turning his head stiffly away. Because. He didn't really have to waste his breath about this, right? The blond idiot ought to figure it out for himself soon enough. Naruto shouldn't be that dense.

“And why are you laying beneath me?” the said idiot went on. “Temee! You snuck up under me while I was asleep, didn't you?!”

Apparently, Naruto was.

“Usuratonkachi,” Sasuke began, enunciating each syllable of the insulting pet name carefully since it so perfectly applied to the blond jounin at the moment, “you snuck up over me, not the other way around. I woke up—” he glanced at the timer by the bed - “three hours since we've been stuck in this place, only to find that you've stolen over to my side of the bed laying right on top of me, and—“ he clapped his mouth shut. No need to go there. Maybe they could both get out of this with their pride still in tact.

“And what?” Naruto, ever the oblivious idiot, demanded. “What'd I do?! And why is your face all red?”

“Get off, and maybe I'll tell you,” Sasuke retorted. “And my face isn't red.”

Instead of doing as he was bid, Naruto peered even closer, studying his face intently. The dobe had apparently forgotten, if he'd ever noticed at all, the rather compromising position they were in. “Yes, it is!” the blond jounin insisted. A gleeful smile swept his face. “Oh-ho!” Naruto crowed. “The Uchiha is blushing! Wait till your fan girls hear about this! Why, it's a breakthrough discovery! This ought to disprove the long-held theory that only ice water runs through your veins!” Naruto babbled self-importantly on. “What'd I do to make you blush like that, huh? Did I kick your ass while I was asleep? Did I? Did I? I did, didn't I? Admit it!”

Oh, well. He did try.

“Idiot,” Sasuke mumbled, still not facing his ex-team-mate. “You were humping me.”

“What? What?” The blond frowned. “I can't hear you. I was what?”

Idiot. The dark-haired jounin turned at last, glared into Naruto's eyes, and repeated, in the clearest voice he could muster, “You were humping me.”

“I was n—“

…

For an instant, Sasuke could have sworn all the color was drained from Naruto's face. The blond blinked once. Then twice. Then thrice, for good measure. Then he looked down.

“OK, so maybe I was,” Naruto ventured calmly, if a bit awkwardly, after a long moment. “But I didn't do it on purpose.”

Very reassuring, that. “You said my name,” Sasuke added, still gazing at him fixedly.

“I did?” The taller shinobi watched as color slowly returned cheeks, flaring from an embarrassed into an angry red. “Well it—it must have been your imagination, bastard! I'd never—I'm not—Sakura!” Naruto finally declared triumphantly. “I must have said `Sakura'! Your names sound close enough!”

You said `Sasuke', idiot, Sasuke wanted to retort, but doubt held him back. Was it possible that his mind could have been playing tricks on him, changing the name of Naruto's childhood crush into his own? And why would he do that? The last question wasn't one that the Uchiha wanted to deal with right now, so he spoke up instead. “So you were fantasizing about Sakura. Wait till she hears about this. Or Lee,” he put in.

Naruto's eyes went wide. “You wouldn't!”

“What's to stop me?” he shot back, smirking.

Now it was Naruto's turn to glare him down. “Fine, then! I said `Sasuke'!” the jounin proclaimed, bucketfuls of sarcasm dripping down his voice. “Don't you know, I'm actually gay! My dry-humping you in my sleep was the result of years secretly lusting after that sexy body of yours! Not to mention your tight little ass! Happy?!” Naruto finished, panting heavily now.

“Hn.” He eyed the blond shinobi coolly for a few seconds, then turned, again, away. And if said shinobi noticed his dark-haired partner look a bit less composed and impassive as he usually was for a second or two, the blond didn't say. Anyway, it shouldn't matter if Naruto noticed him staring a moment too long at those wet, accessible lips, because Sasuke was… No longer staring at them anymore. “Just get off of me already, dobe.”

Naruto huffed. “I will!” He tried to move off of the taller jounin, and winced. Naruto's erection had, quite by accident, brushed up against Sasuke's knee. The effect was electric. Sasuke sucked in his breath.

“S-sorry `bout that—“

He's still hard. “Get. Off.”

“Yeah, I am.” At last, Naruto managed to extricate himself from the dark-haired shinobi. He got out of the bed and stood up, patting down his clothes.

A long pause.

“Anyways,” Naruto announced after a while, coughing, “I'm… I'm going to the bathroom.”

No, he didn't want to think about that right now. “Hn.”

“To pee, of course,” Naruto hurriedly added. “Nothing else.”

“Hn.”

Sasuke actually heard, rather than saw, the blush in Naruto's voice. “Look, I'm NOT gonna—“

“Hn.”

“Will you cut that out?!” Naruto finally yelled, exasperated.

“Will you go jerk yourself off already and let me sleep in peace?” Sasuke returned tersely.

No response, save for Naruto's bare feet stomping angrily into the bathroom.

Sasuke heaved a sigh, hearing him go. He hoped Naruto would be done quickly, whether the blond really went there to relieve himself or not. The sooner the idiot was done, the sooner he'd go back to bed. The sooner he goes to bed, the sooner he'll sleep. The sooner he sleeps, the sooner Sasuke can sneak off to the bathroom himself to alleviate his own problem.

The dark-haired jounin groaned inwardly. Sasuke hoped it wouldn't have to be a long night.

x x x