Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto Childern's Stories ❯ The Teacher from the Pits of Hell ( Chapter 1 )

Keiji: Often times while I'm slodging my way through another children's book with my sister I find myself Naruto-izing those books in my head. So, as a way to exorcise those pesky little demons, I decided to write them up in short story one-shot form. Have fun.

 

Naruto and original story not copyrighted to me. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and the original story belongs to Mike Thaler.

 

-----

 

The Teacher from the Pits of Hell

Adapted from: The Teacher from the Black Lagoon by Mike Thaler

 

The sun was bright, the birds were singing, the clouds were dancing, and Uzumaki Naruto was heading for the Shinobi school for the very first time in his admittedly short time life. Yup, first day of school, and Naruto was revved up and ready to learn how to be a super ninja and show everybody just how 'tough' he was. And hay, maybe he'd make a friend or two along the way, right?

 

Naruto thought to the day ahead as he made his way to the school building. Who would his teacher be? He'd heard whispers from (semi-)reliable sources that Asuma-sensei had a beard thick enough to suffocate a student, if his steam engine sized cigar didn't finish the job first. Kakashi-sensei was said to be even more frightening. Yeah sure, he looked innocent enough with that crazy wig and mask of his, innocent until he summoned his army of hellhounds on his class.

 

However, those very same (semi-)reliable sources had already informed him about his teacher. The classes were decided beforehand, and Naruto had heard that his teacher was a REAL monster, many times worse then either Asuma or Kakashi-sensei.

 

Naruto shuddered to himself, suddenly the day didn't seem so bright and cheery anymore. Before long, and suddenly in Naruto's opinion far to quickly, he was at the school building. And after a short stop at the front office and he was heading for his room.

 

Word must have gotten around quite fast. By the time Naruto got there, which was admittedly quite late, the only chairs left unoccupied were those at the front row. Unable to escape their fate, late comers like Naruto and Inuzuka Kiba, who dragged his feet in a short while after Uzumaki, were left to face the fool wrath of the monster teacher right up at the front of the battlefield.

 

Naruto sat down in a defeated slump. The day had seemed so bright when he'd woken up, up until he'd started wondering about his teacher. He was not going to let this get to him! To calm his nerves he leaned back against his chair, closed his eyes, and took deep calming breaths.

 

Suddenly a shadow appeared in the tainted glass of the top half of the rooms lower door.

 

In slithered a weasel; tail, black with red could patterned fur, bloody eyes, claws, and all. He reached a long fingered hand and wrote his name on the board, Uchiha Itachi, but not with chalk, that was to easy for a monster teacher. No Uchiha Itachi put his name on the board with ear piercing screeches of his claw.

 

Naruto stared at the monster that had appeared before him, wide eyed and unbelieving. There were laws against leaving such monsters alone in a room with kids, weren't there?

 

Kiba sitting beside Naruto, noticed the other's fear. More to mask his own worries then to be malicious, the Inuzuka threw a spitball at his neighbor. Nothing better then a little light hearted teasing to brighten to mood, right?

 

The bit of dissorderly conduct did not escape Itachi's blood-red eyes. He curled his lips, hands coming and and performing a series of split second seals. Naruto had whiped the spit ball of his face just in time to see the monster inhale deeply and exhale a giant stream of fire. Naruto didn't dare move an inch as the flames passed dangerously close beside him.

 

Kiba was gone. All that remained of the Inuzuka boy was a small pile of smoldering ashes on his amazingly unharmed table.

 

The spectacle had even gotten lazy Shikamaru's attention. “Talk about bad breath.” the Nara muttered quietly to himself. Not quietly enough.

 

The monster slithered over to Shikamaru's table, right behind Naruto, looming ominously. With a lick of his clawed hands Itachi seperated Shikamaru's head from the rest of the boy's body. Slithering again, though this time with a happy skip in his step, Itachi returned to the teacher's table where he replaced the globe, that sat so innocently there, with Shikamaru's head in the globe stand.

 

For some odd reason, as if the shock was too much for his staggered mind bear, Naruto did not think about his dead companions, but instead thought despondently that this monster of a teacher probably gave homework on the first day. And, as if thinking the thought gave it actual life, Itachi suddenly produced the teachers edition of the math book from behind his table.

 

“Your homework for today,” Itachi grinned with unbriddled glee, showing off long pointy sharp fangs “is pages 1 to 200 in your math book—all the fraction problems.” It never occurred to Naruto that his was the first time he'd heard the teacher speak.

 

“We've never had fractions,” Neji, ever logical pointed out to their teacher, completely unaffraid.

 

“Come up here,” Itachi beckoned with a claw, his face suddenly turned very serious, matching the stoic expression of older Hyuuga's features.

 

Neji now stood beside the teacher's table and Itachi gestured for him to turn around and face the rest of the class. “This is a whole boy,” the weasel monster said, its serious face turning into a smirk in the same split second span of time that it took him to pull out a long black katana and slice the blade straight through Neji's middle. The upper half of the Hyuuga's body fell to the floor, which Itachi not so subtly kicked behind the teacher's table, leaving only the boy's legs standing before the class. “This is half a boy. Now you've had fractions.” Itachi presented happily.

 

“Poor Neji,” Naruto though, “he always said everybody had a fate and purpose. Guess his purpose was to serve as an example to others.”

 

Completely missing the life revealing lesson that the Hyuuga had given, Choji continued to munch happily away at his bag of chips. Calmly Itachi brought his hands together performing another set of seals before bringing one of them to rest on the teachers table, “Kuchiyose no Jutsu.” he stated and in a puff of smoke appeared a giant black monitor lizard. The scaly beast snapped its head forward and swallowed Chouji in one giant gulp!

 

“No chewing in class.” Itachi smiled hugging the lizard around its thick neck.

 

Sarutobi, the third principle, stuck his head through the door to check on the class. Itachi noticed immediately. “We're learning about summoning jutsu's,” he happily informed the older man, giving the black monitor an affectionate pat on its head. Sarutobi nodded at the teacher in approval.

 

“Keep up the good work,” he said before closing the door. For the first time in all his ponderings Naruto thought that it would be a GOOD thing to be sent down to the principal's office.

 

As if Sarutobi's appearance had suddenly reminded Itachi of his duty as a teacher, the weasel pulled a note book from under one of the lizards giant feet and off the table.

 

“Let's call the roll.” he cackled, opening the notebook and flipping a pen out of nowhere.

“Inuzuka Kiba is absent. Hyuuga Neji is half here. Nara Shikamaru is here and there. Akimichi Chouji is digesting.” Itachi nodded to himself as if things were going just as they should be.

 

“What about spelling?” his reading of the roll was interrupted by ever studious Haruno Sakura.

“Spelling can be fun!” Itachi beamed making a long series of seals with his hands before rattling off a page long one word jutsu name.

 

“That's a tough to spell,” Sakura said, honestly putting her mind to work at deciphering the long impossible word. Suddenly there was a flash of light followed by a puff of smoke, and in Sakura's chair there was left only a giant pink slug.

 

Hyuuga Hinata hesitantly raised her hand. “Can I go to the nurse?” she asked slowly with many a restart and stutter.

 

As if the sun had shined for the first time that day, Itachi asked “What's wrong?” Not even the monster weasel could be cruel in the face of Hinatas passiveness and purity.

 

“I have a headache,” Hinata said at her lightest and sweetest, ducking her head in embarrassment and shame at such a minor thing.

 

Itachi placed a comforting hand around her shoulders. There was another flash of light, and Hinata's head was suddenly the size of a pin. “Better?” Itach asked, still in his sweet and genuinely concerned voice.

 

“Now it's naptime.” He turned to level his bloody red eyes on the rest of the class, “Everyone who still has one, put your head on your desk.”

 

Not whishing to end up like his other classmates Naruto quickely put his head head to his table. He hoped desperately that he could survive the class long enough to make it to recess.

 

“Sweet dreams,” Itachi's cackle followed Naruto into blackness as sleep took him.

 

Suddenly the bell rang and Naruto jolted awake from his reclined chair, almost toppling over backwards in the process.

 

There was a man standing in front of the class, and with calm and smiling face he picked up a piece of chalk and wrote his name on the board, Umino Iruka. Iruka had no claws, for that matter he didn't have fur or a tail either. He did have a scar across the bridge of his nose, but it wasn't the kind of mar that made his face look frightening.

 

“I'm Umino Iruka, your teacher,” Iruka turned to the class and smiled benignly. The kind of smile that you would get from an older sibling that would make you want to get up and hug them. In fact, that's exactly what Naruto did, standing from his table in a rush and throwing his arms around the man's waist.

 

“Well thank you.” the man said, slightly flustered by the very exuberant welcome, “I'm glad to be here.”

 

“Not as glad as I am!” Naruto thought happily to himself.

 

He only held that opinion for a couple days, when Iruka made him wright “I will not misbehave in class.” until his poor little hand cramped up.

 

His new teacher really was a monster...but a nice one.

 

---

 

Published on: May 14, 2007