Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto's Book of Fairy Tales ❯ Sleeping Ino ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. NOW YOU CAN'T SUE ME. YOU STUPID LAWYERS! BURN IN HELL! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Title: Naruto Fairy Tales

Chapter Title: Sleeping Ino

Rating: PG-13

Pairing for the chapter: Shikamaru/Ino

Warnings: I have changed many facts in this tale and the other's that will be posted. Please don't sue me for this! I'm doing it for your laughs!

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Once upon a time a King and Queen longed for a child. They waited for many years and finally their wish was granted, which was a good thing because the Queen went into menopause about a month later. They had a beautiful baby daughter, and named her Ino. They were so happy, they asked seven fairies to be her god parents, but this was partly because each fairy would have to give her a gift that would help make her perfect.

At the ceremony, each fairy was given a gold plate, knife and fork, because this way they would be even more bribed to give gifts to the princess. They also prepared a dress for each fairy.

Unfortunately, all but two of the fairies were boys, because there aren't enough girls in the series to fill all the slots for the fairies.

So the guests sat down (most of them were still grumbling about the gifts), but just as they were about to pig out, an eighth fairy came into the hall. She was very ugly and her name was Sakura.

No one had seen Sakura for fifty years so they didn't invite her or have a set of gold tableware for her. Taking this as an insult (because she's too stupid to think otherwise, and it didn't help that the people she sat by inched away from her), Sakura sat down grumbling and plotting her evil revenge.

The shyest fairy, Hinata, noticed that Sakura had look of glee on her face. Getting suspicious she excused herself and hid so that she could undo any evil Sakura might cast upon Ino.

When the feast was over, the fairies each cast their magic gifts upon Ino.

The fairy Tenten gave Ino the gift of beauty.

The fairy Itachi gave Ino the gift of wisdom.

The fairy Orochimaru (A/N: MWUHAHAHA!) gave Ino the gift of strength. Then he attempted to put a cursed seal on Ino. He was kicked out, which was okay because now he could resume plotting Konoha's destruction.

The fairy Kakashi gave Ino the gift of musical talent.

The fairy Sasuke gave Ino the gift of grace.

The fairy Naruto gave Ino the gift of being a bossy bitch. He was kicked out, which was great because now he could eat ramen!

Then Sakura cast a spell. "Ino will prick her finger on a spindle and die!" she cackled.

Hinata stepped forward. "Ino will not die! She will fall into a deep slumber for 100 years and then a prince shall wake her!"

"Yeah, because saying that she's just not going to die would be waaaay too stupid," Itachi snorted.

Hinata blushed with embarrassment. Itachi was kicked out, which was fine because now he could resume killing people.

Even with Hinata's assurance that Ino would be okay, the King ordered Sasuke to burn all the spindles in the kingdom. Sasuke refused.

"Why? Having her go into a deep sleep for 100 years is a good thing. She can't chase me around like all the other crazed fangirls," he said.

Sasuke was kicked out, which was fine because now he could resume… um… whatever Sasuke does in his free time.

The King and Queen ordered all the spindles in the kingdom to be burned, so that their daughter would never be harmed.

Ino grew into a beautiful young woman. She was all the gifts that the fairies had given her, so she was a bossy bitch, but no one cared because she was pretty. Many princes from many lands asked for her hand in marriage. Ino refused them all, however, because like all the other girls in the frickin' kingdom, she had her heart set on Sasuke.

One day she decided to make a shirt for Sasuke as a present. But she could not find a spindle to get the thread. She asked everyone she could think of (that was outside the castle. For some reason everyone there forbad her ever to get within 100 feet of a spindle), but no one had one. Finally she came to a house at the edge of town, and through the window she could see a woman sitting at a spindle.

Ino knocked on the door. The woman answered very quickly.

"May I help you, your highness?" she asked in a very sweet voice, for this was Sakura, and she was going to make sure Ino got out of the way so she could have Sasuke all to herself.

"Yes, ma'am. I see you have a spindle, and I would like to use it," Ino said.

"Of course you can use it, dear." Sakura said.

Ino thanked the woman and sat down at the spindle, and just as she started spinning, pricked her finger.

Ino fell to the floor, in a deep sleep that would have made Shikamaru proud.

"MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOW SASUKE-KUN IS ALL MINE!" Sakura screamed.

Unfortunately for her, Itachi was walking by her house at the time in a very bad mood. He decided that her evil laughter annoyed him so he went into the house and killed her. Then he saw Ino on the floor. Since Itachi was feeling very evil at the moment, he decided to let someone else find Ino.

When Ino didn't come home that night, her parents grew frantic, and sent search parties everywhere to look for their daughter. They found her, in a very deep sleep.

Grief-stricken, the King and Queen asked Hinata and Tenten for help, because they didn't like the other fairies.

"We shall put all of the kingdom but you two into a deep sleep so that when Ino wakes up she is not among strangers. We will also make her extremely comfortable," they said.

And they did. They laid Ino upon abed with gold embroidered sheets and a gold bed frame. She was put into her finest clothes and jewels. Then Hinata and Tenten put the rest of the kingdom to sleep, and the king and Queen were going to go live with the Queen's sister, but they ran into Itachi and he killed them.

To keep Ino safe from strangers, Tenten and Hinata encircled the castle with a forest of thorns and bramble so thick that no one could get through it and so high you couldn't see the top of the castle.

100 years passed. In that time a new King and Queen took their place. One day (when the 100 years had passed) the new King and Queen's son was walking around looking for a good place to watch the clouds. This boy's name was Shikamaru.

That day, Shikamaru's favorite spot for cloud watching was being used for a carnival, so he went out to look for a new spot. It was then that he spotted the castle surrounded by the forest of thorns and bramble.

Shikamaru asked a passerby why this castle looked like this.

"You don't know? Well, people say that 100 years ago, a princess was put into a deep sleep and two fairies put everyone but the King and Queen into a deep slumber with the princess. One day a prince is supposed to come and wake the princess," the villager said.

Shikamaru didn't believe that. But the castle would be a place that no one would disturb him while watching the clouds. So, Shikamaru had his friend Chouji make an opening in the forest.

Shikamaru was really shocked when he entered the castle and saw everyone asleep. He looked all around the castle grounds and saw the same thing: everyone was asleep.

So Shikamaru started looking inside the castle for the princess. He didn't want to marry her (because "Women are too troublesome"), but maybe the princess would let him look at clouds from her castle if he woke her up.

After two hours of searching, Shikamaru finally found Ino's room.

She looked just like she did when the fairies set her upon her bed. Personally, Shikamaru thought whoever put her here had way over done it, but oh well.

He walked to Ino's bedside, and being the gentleman he is not, shook her awake. As soon as she woke up, Ino slapped him.

"BAKA! You're supposed to kiss me! Not shake my brains out! You will…" she ranted on and on about how stupid he was.

Shikamaru decided he didn't like Ino.

"Look lady, I didn't come here for your hand in marriage. I came here to ask you if I could use this castle to look at clouds," he said.

Ino stared at him.

"You mean you didn't wake me up because you thought I was beautiful and you wanted to marry me?" she asked.

"I just said that," Shikamaru said.

Poor Shikamaru. He didn't know that being a smart-ass to Ino could cost him his life. So Ino grabbed him and flung him out the window, and then decided that she probably shouldn't have thrown him out the window, because he had woken her up and she owed him some gratitude. But only some. Anything else would be completely against her nature.

So she went on a five day search for him. When she found him he was doing what our dear Shikamaru does best: staring at clouds.

"I wanted to say thank you," she said.

"Didn't know that you even knew those words," Shikamaru said.

Shikamaru was booted all the way back to Ino's castle.

Unfortunately, that very same day, Itachi was in a very bad mood. One of Shikamaru's servants insulted him, and he killed everyone in the castle and then burned it, so Shikamaru had to stay with Ino.

They fought for the first three seconds before Shikamaru decided that fighting with Ino was too troublesome and just went along with whatever she said.

Ino bitched at him all the time, but that was just because she liked him and didn't want to say it.

Then one day she finally blurted it out.

"I love you, Shikamaru!"

This shocked Shikamaru very much, but he didn't complain because he had gotten more accomplished more in the time that he had spent with Ino than the all of the life he had spent without her. He needed to get some things done, and only Ino had been able to make him do that. But why didn't Shikamaru do them without Ino bitching at him? Because Shikamaru is a lazy-ass, that's why.

So they got engaged, then married (Sasuke was very happy about this, because now he had gotten rid of one fangirl), and then they had children.

But alas, one of their kids insulted Itachi, and he killed everyone in Ino's castle too.

The end.

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Author's notes: MWUHAHAHA!!! Itachi killed everyone *huggles Itachi*! Um, I have no idea how this is. It just came to me when I looked at this book of fairy tales that belongs to my little sister. There will be 22 stories in all, some of them you guys may not know, but I think are good. Most of the pairings will be yaoi, even if the original pairing was hetro. Why? Because I like yaoi better than hetro, and I can make better stories out of it. And I'm damn proud of it! ^_____________________^

Please R&R! I'm desperate… T_T