Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto's Book of Fairy Tales ❯ Rapunzal ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Still don't own Naruto… T_T

Title: Naruto's Book of Fairy Tales

Chapter Title: Rapunzal

Rating: PG-13

Pairing for the Chapter: Itachi/Naruto

Warnings: Yaoi

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A man and wife yearned for a child and at last God granted their wish. One day the wife was standing at a window looking down on the garden of their neighbor, who was a witch. The garden, which was full of flowers, herbs, and vegetables, was surrounded by a high wall. The wife gazed longingly at a bed of fresh green rapunzal and called out to her husband.

"I must have some of that rapunzal or I will die."

"No. You're not going to die just because you can't have some damn rapunzal," the husband said.

"Ok, then. How about `if you don't get me some rapunzal, I will beat you to a bloody pulp with my trust million ton mallet'?"

The husband was forced to get the rapunzal, because who on earth wants to get beaten with a million ton mallet?

At dusk the husband climbed the garden wall, snatched a handful of rapunzal, and took it to his wife. She ate it greedily, but it tasted so good that her crazing grew. She now wanted rapunzal more than ever. Once again her husband crept into the witch's garden. But this time the witch was waiting.

"How dare you steal my rapunzal!" she hissed. "You'll pay for this!"

The husband blinked.

"Hey, you're Kisame, the missing-nin!" he accused.

Kisame grinned. "I know. I killed the witch and ate her cat!" (A/N: Because Kisame is like a shark? So he would like raw meat.)

"Have mercy," begged the husband. "My wife saw your rapunzal from our window, and said she would die if she didn't have some!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Kisame said.

"I know, but she threatened me with a million ton mallet," the husband complained.

"If what you say is true," said Kisame, "take as much rapunzal as you want. But on one condition: when your wife gives birth, you must give me the child."

"What do you want with a kid?" asked the kid.

Kisame waved his samehade threateningly.

The terrified man agreed, and, when a baby was born, Kisame carried him off.

"His name shall be Rapunzal," he said. Then he blinked.

"But Rapunzal is a girl's name. I know! I'll name him Naruto!"

Naruto grew to be the cutest child under the sun. When she was twelve, Kisame took him into the forest and shut him in a tower that had neither stairs nor door, only a window at the top. Now this was quite stupid, because Kisame wondered around the tower for twelve hours before he remembered that he could climb up the tower wall by concentrated his chakra into his feet. Yes, Kisame is an idiot, isn't he?

But after that, when Kisame wanted to come into the tower, he stood below and shouted, "Naruto, Naruto let down your hair!" This was really stupid, because Naruto had short hair, just like most boys his age, so Kisame always ended up climbing up the wall by chakra concentration.

A few years later, the king's son Itachi chanced to ride through the forest where Naruto was being kept. As he passed the tower, he heard a voice singing so awfully that he was sure his eardrums would break. He ran away from the tower and made a mental note to come back tomorrow and kill the person singing. So of course he missed the scene where he's supposed to wait for Kisame to come so he can see how to get up the tower.

So the next day, Itachi came back to the tower (and thankfully no one was singing). He climbed up the tower by concentrating his chakra into his feet (because, unlike Kisame, Itachi is a very bright person) and when he got to the window, looked inside.

There was a boy sitting there, with hair like the sun and eyes like the sky. He was a very cute boy; even Itachi had to admit that. In fact, Itachi completely forgot about his plan to kill this boy for singing so badly because he was so caught up in staring.

Naruto turned to the window and nearly screamed at the sight of Itachi. But then he realized that would be stupid, because 1) The person might fall and get hurt and 2) The person was very handsome and it was absolutely wonderful to gaze at someone besides Kisame for once. But Naruto still wanted to find out how this person was.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Itachi smirked and slid off the window sill into the room. "Uchiha Itachi," he said. "And you are…?"

"Naruto," said Naruto. Then he said, "Why are you here?"

So Itachi told him that he was originally going to kill him for singing like an angry cat, but didn't feel like it anymore because he didn't think it would be appropriate to "Kill someone as cute as yourself". Naruto (who had never had a compliment before in his life) just blushed a made the decision that he liked Itachi very much.

And so Itachi saw the bright blush that lit up Naruto's cheeks and smirked before ducking down to capture the smaller boy's lips in his own. Even though this never happened in the story. But if I put what happened in the story in, then that would just make this another stupid tale now wouldn't it?

After a passionate kiss (A/N: *drool*), Itachi asked Naruto if he would come out the tower and live with Itachi.

Naruto thought about it for about to seconds before realizing that Kisame wasn't ever going to love him as a child and that living with Itachi was obviously a much better choice. But that still left the problem of how Naruto was going to get down from the tower.

"Bring a skein (A/N: I have NO idea what that is. I just copied it from the book) of silk every time you come," he said. "I can weave a ladder from it. When I'm done I shall climb out of the tower and go with you."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just have me carry you down?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, but the authoress thinks we've already strayed to far from the story line to do that," Naruto said.

They agreed that Itachi would visit in the evenings, for Kisame only came by day.

Kisame suspected nothing of Itachi's visits until Naruto asked one day, "Kisame, why don't my clothes fit anymore?" Because for some reason no one in the world can fathom, Naruto had fallen pregnant to Itachi.

Now Kisame, being the idiot he is, hadn't noticed that Naruto had put on a couple pounds. But now that Kisame looked closer, it was obvious that Naruto had been gaining weight. Kisame decided it could two things. 1) Naruto had been a lot for than usual lately or 2) Naruto was pregnant (although how he came up with this smart answer remains a mystery to all). Since Kisame hadn't been feeding Naruto more than usual, it was obvious that Naruto was pregnant. And that meant that Naruto had contact with the outside world!

"Wicked child!" Kisame screamed. "I thought I had shut you away from the world, but you have deceived me!" And he was about to cut Naruto into tiny little pieces when he decided that (for some reason) that was stupid, and took Naruto into the middle of a desert (but how a desert could be anywhere near Japan is beyond anyone). Fortunately Naruto got out of the desert and into a city called Tokyo (although a princess would've just stayed in the desert weeping for her lost prince)

That evening when Itachi climbed the tower, he was surprised to find Naruto not there. Instead, a figure stood in the middle of the room.

"MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU'LLL NEVER SEE YOUR PRECIOUS NARUTO AGAIN, YOU IDIOT! I'VE TAKEN HIM SOMEWHERE THAT YOU'LL NEVER FIND HIM!!!!!!!" Kisame screamed.

Itachi's eye twitched once. Twice. SO THIS was where Kisame came during the days. Because Kisame was still working for the Akatsuki, and he was still Itachi's partner.

"Kisame, do you have any idea who you're talking to?" Itachi asked.

"YES I DO! I'M TALKING TO ITA…chi… OH HOLY SHIT!!!"

Now, unlike pansy princes that jump out of the tower and have thorns scratch their eyes so that they go blind, Itachi beat Kisame to a bloody pulp and then used Tsukiyomi on him so many times that Kisame died. Now, Itachi should've gone blind in this story, but I can't to that to him because I like him too much.

After several years of searching, Itachi happened to wander into Tokyo. He was walking by a house when heard a giggle of laughter that sounded oddly like Naruto's. And low and behold, Naruto came out of the houses door with two children, a two and girl.

Itachi just stared for a moment before tackling Naruto to the ground and locking their lips in a soul searing kiss.

At first the kids were frightened, but then they heard Naruto mutter something along the lines of "Don't worry, he's my lover and go away." So they did. And somehow Naruto and Itachi managed to make it to Naruto's bedroom where they began the makings of their third child.

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Author's Notes: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! KISAME DIED! ^___________^ Yeah, I hate Kisame. At first I had trouble figuring out how I was going to this pairing for this story. So I turned to my Naruto manga for help. And low and behold, I happened to pick the one with Kisame and Itachi init! And then everything came together and a story was created! ^_____________^ I'm so special! *runs off to the ice cream shop to congratulate herself on a good job*

Naruto Characters: --U