Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto & the Idiot Brigade ❯ Dumb Dreams and Funny Flashbacks ( Chapter 5 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

I just have one thing to say: I do NOT, I repeat I do NOT own Naruto!. Again please read & review and just enjoy this chapter! (Well I guess I had two things to say! :P I'm a total idiot!)

Haku's eyes were glued to the TV. He was staring at the boy with silver hair. "Oh... Riku!" Haku drooled.

"Um... Haku?" Midori shook the homosxual weirdo. "Haku, It's only a game, Riku isn't real..."

"See when we decide to play Square Enix games!" Naruto yawned. "I don't even now why people like Kingdom Hearts-"

"IT's KINGDOM HEARTS TWO!" Haku shrieked. "and Riku has such perfect hair!" Haku hovered around the TV.

"I bet you don't even know how old he is!" Midori laughed.

"uh... um... seventeen?" Haku guessed.

"WRONG!" Midori replied rather quickly.

"uh!" Haku gasped "I didn't know!!!"

"HOLY DAMN!!!" Naruto stared at the clock. "We're seven minutes late for school!"

Crickets

Chirp

Chirp

Chirp

"Hurry! Hurry!" Midori shouted passing everyone their school uniform and as for Haku his 'make up'.

"Dammit!" Neji groaned as he tried to put his shirt on and comb his hair at the same time.

"CRAP!" Midori screeched. "My fricken' knee! Stupid Naruto!"

"B-but it wasn't my fault Midori-chan!" Naruto whimpered.

"I told you to use the damn table!" Midori pointed at the little desk. "Couches are used to comfy people's asses, Not to be used as a table!"

"Damn!" Midori mumbled as she wiped the noodles and the hot liquid from her knee.

"Is everyone ready?" Tenten said cheerfully.

Everyone glared at her.

"Why are you so angry?" Tenten questioned them.

"Cause we over slept and now we're all late for school..." Neji grumbled still trying to brush the tangled locks of hair on his head.

"Well, this little situation would have not happened if you didn't play games all night-"

"SHUT UP!" everyone said grumpily.

---At school---
"You guys are real jerks!" Sasuke pointed out. "You just left me there standing in Naruto's 'special' liquid!"

"Well that's payback for the time you told them about floobashmook!" Neji pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"They gagged me with Naruto's underwear three times!" Sasuke twitched trying to forget the horrible taste.

"What happened?" Naruto asked.

"You should know! you were there!" Sasuke replied.

"Oh, I forgot... will you refresh my memory?" Naruto smiled widely.

"Okay fine..." Sasuke sighed.

"I was walking to the boys bathroom when..." Sasuke started.

Flashback:
I was walking to the boys bathroom when Naruto popped up in front of me and said that I knew secrets about Neji.

I said he was crazy then he knocked me out with his fart-

"oh yeah... I remember that!" Naruto smirked

"Hey! You wann hear this story or not?"

"oops sorry! continue!"

Anyways I fainted from that horrible smell, then I felt as if I was being dragged and I thought 'oh my god! I'm gonna get raped!' then I was all 'nah' but then I heard voices wich made me realize 'oh my god! I really am gonna get raped!' but then I found out the voices were Midori and Haku, then I heard Naruto snicker, I heard Tenten and Roxn talking about which underwear they should use to gag me with.

Then I woke up and tried to get up but I couldn't.

"What the hell?" Sasuke hissed.

"Quick! gag him!" Midori shouted at Tenten.

"Which one?" Tenten asked.

"I don't know! anyone!" Midori hastily got up to her feet.

"What are you- mmfmmmmfff" You couldn't believe the taste... and the smell!

"Yuck! what the hell was that!" Sasuke spat the underwear out of his mouth.

"My Barney and friends undies!" Naruto said cheerfully.

"Not only was I gagged with 'Barney' underwear! I was also gagged with 'Barney' underwear that Naruto owned!"

"gag him again." Midori said with a straight face, and they gagged him the second time.

"You are going to tell us Neji's deepest darkest secret!" Midori shone a flashlight at Sasuke.

"..." Sasuke stayed silent.

"Answer me dangit!" Midori slapped Sasuke's face.

"um... Midori..." Roxn sweat dropped.

"What?" Midori turned around and shone the flashlight at Roxn.

"He can't answer you-"

"And why is that?" Midori quickly interrupted Roxn.

"He can't answer you cause-"

"Cause Sasuke has a dirty underwear in his mouth..." Tenten finished Roxn's sentence.

"hm?" Midori turned back at Sasuke who was seemingly pissed.

"oh..." Midori said slowly.

"Now answer me..." Midori took Naruto's underwear from Sasuke's mouth.

"I won't tell you, not even if you gag me the third- mmffmmf" They gagged him the third time.

"Our plan's not working Midori!" Haku whispered with a worried look on his face.

"bleh!" Sasuke spat out. "Can you untie me so I can get the hell out of here?!"

"Not until you tell us-"

"NO!" Sasuke said firmly.

"Gag him again Tenten-"

"Fine!" Sasuke muttered harsh curses under his breath.

"Neji's deepest darkest secret is..." Sasuke began. They all leaned in on Sasuke.

"His deepest darkest secret is that he accidentally kissed his classmate-"

"OH MY FREAKING BUDDHA! NO MY FREAKING WAY!" Roxn stood up with such excitment.

Everyone sweat dropped.

"oh sorry continue..." Roxn sat back down calmly.

"okaaay... getting back to the subject"

"Neji sat next to a boy in the school bus then Neji looked at the boy and the boy looked at Neji, then the bus came to a sharp curve and Neji's lips just sort of touched the the other dude's lips and -"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roxn squeaked. "Ohmigosh! this is soooooooo cool! I'm gonna put this on myspace-"

"No you can't!" Sasuke interrupted Roxn.

"Well, why the hell not?"

"Neji will be sad and cry"

"oh fine, I'll put Naruto's name instead..." Roxn mumbled happily.

"..." Sasuke was silent. "Fine with me!" He shrugged.

"What happened?!" Midori wanted to hear more of the story.

"well afterwards Neji gave him a beating and..."

"AND???" Everyone asked curiously.

"and... the boy went to the hospital for three weeks." Sasuke said in a very low voice.

"..." everyone stayed silent

"He called 'it' floobashmook..." Sasuke added.

"weird..." Everyone mumbled.

"Can I go now?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, we should let him go, he probably needs to pee right now-"

"Shut up..." Sasuke grumbled and walked away.

End of flashback

"You're flashback was sooooo boring!" Naruto whined. "I'll tell you guys about the time I had this dream!"

Dream:

I was eating ramen at this ramen shop and Sasuke came and took me into the closet.

"Why'd you disturb me?" Naruto growled.

"Disturb you from what? all you were doing was looking at your feet!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Now be quiet! people might hear us!"

"oh god!" Naruto thought aloud realizing what was going on. "No Sasuke!" Naruto pushed away. "I don't wanna make out with you!"

"It's not that dobe!" Sasuke sneered. "It's just... I- I want to ask you something..." Sasuke blushed.

"ewww!" Naruto screamed. "I don't wanna have sex with you!" Naruto backed away.

"Stop jumping to conclusions idiot!" Sasuke slapped Naruto on his head. "I would never ask you to have sex with me even if I was gay!"

"I wanted to ask you if-"

"If I could be your sex slave?" Naruto blurted out. "HELL NO!" Naruto shook his head furiously.

"It's not that!" Sasuke grew angry. "I need the Barney and friends video collection!"

"Why?" Naruto was curious. "Could it be that you like to watch Barney too?"

"No! My niece wants a Barney birthday, whatever that is..." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Are you gay or what?!" Naruto threw his arms in the air. "Why would I do that!?"

"I'll offer you one million dollars since i'm rich and i'll give you video games a wide screen tv and possibly more."
"hmmm..." Naruto scratched his chin.

Sasuke sighed. "Plus I'll throw in a free bowl of ramen."

"It's a deal!" Naruto took Sasuke's hand and shook it.

"Damn!" Sasuke tugged on the door knob. "We're locked in!"

"Way to go, Einstein!" Naruto said sarcastically.

"Why don't you take a hike?" Sasuke struggled with the door.

"I would if you hadn't locked us in this pee hole!" Naruto pouted

End of Dream

"It's over already?" Midori asked.

"Yeah." Naruto said as a matter of fact.

"But why?" Haku looked up.

"I thought I smelt ramen so I woke up but I found out it was just my arm pitt..." Naruto nodded in a cool way.

"What deoderant do you use? Ramen-fresh?" Midori chuckled.

"Maybe he bathes in ramen!" Sakura laughed.

"Who bathes in ramen?" Naruto laughed. "Of course I use Ramen-fresh!"

"You didn't need to tell us that..." Sasuke muttered.

"Oh Naruto!" Midori patted his back. "You know that I know that we know that you know that you wanted to make out with Sasuke!!!" Midori laughed.

"Shut up..." Naruto grumbled. " Oh you know Midori!" Sakura playfully punched Naruto. "She likes to tease people!"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Naruto screamed.

Midori took a step back, "Okay..."Can I tell you guys about what happened yesterday at school?" Midori asked.

"Sure!" Naruto shrugged. "As long as I'm stupid!"

"I knew you were very stupid!" Haku laughed at Naruto.

"Shut up and let Midori tell her story..." Naruto grumbled.

"Okay... Here's the story..." Midori sighed.

Flashback:

"Do you think Deidara is playing hooky with Sasori again?" Midori whispered to Lee.

"Oh I don't care!" Lee sparkled with youth. "As long as he has a youthful time!"

"What's up with you and youth?" Midori threw Lee a wierd glance. "You put the YOU in YOUth!"
"I just hope Deidara dosen't came and give us another page twenty three review!" Midori sighed (A/N: page twenty three review- Love and Sex)

"Yay, class!" Deidara jumps out of thin air.

Everyone groans.

"Today, we're gonna have a discussion about candy...," he licked his lips. And out of nowhere, he pulled out a bag

filled with delicious looking treats.

"Finally!" Everybody yelled. "A normal teacher!" they partied and cheered and did the wave.

Deidara grinned. "Yes, that's right people. Sex and Candy!"

Crickets chirp

chirp

chirp

"What?" he shrugged.

"I knew it was too good to be true." Naruto sighed.

"But before we start our lesson on how to use sex with candy." said Deidara. "I wanted to know if it's a good idea to

pierce my tongue." he stuck it out.

This situation instantly turned to Lee, and he stood up boldly. "Deidara-sensei! I do not think that is a good idea!" he

said passionately and fully.

"Er...," Deidara frowned. "Why not?"

"Because your youth is in jeopardy!" Mostly everyone in class who even cared, groaned. It was always about youth

with that guy. Can't he talk about something else for once?

Deidara simply shrugged. "Tomorrow, it'll be final-,"

"NO!" Lee shook his head persistently. "You must not! Youth is the most-," The sparkly, black head of hair on his head

scrambled up as someone anonymously (Naruto)(cough) threw a paper ball at his head.

"Ok, class. I think we're getting too excited here." said Deidara. "Let's just calm down, calm down, yeah."

Midori spoke up, "Deidara-sensei, if you DO decide to pierce your tongue, I'll back you up a hundred percent!" she

smiled.

"(cough) suck up (cough)," mostly everyone had a bad case of sore throats.

'Hahaha, that way, he won't be able to speak in class...hahahaha!' she laughed evily.

"Thank you, Midori." Deidara beamed. "You were always my favorite, yeah." he winked.


"But I don't wanna be your favorite!!!" Midori whined.


"Oh I know you want to!" Deidara flipped his hair and wrote the assignment on the board.

End of Flashback

"So did he peirce his tongue?" Roxn asked curiously.

"I don't know yet!" Midori scratched her forehead.

"Well I bet a dollar he IS going to poke a hole through his tongue!" Naruto placed a dollar on the table.

"Well I bet a dollar he is NOT going to peirce his tongue!" Haku Laughed as he slammed his dollar on the table.

"He's going to poke a hole through that tongue of his!" Naruto smirked.

"Okay, One: It's called peircing!" Haku rolled his eyes. "Two: He is sooo gonna peirce his tongue, or in your case 'poke a hole' through his tongue!" Haku huffed. "And Three: YOU goin' down fool!" Haku did his special dance and hopped around the tables.

"I hear a bet!" Tenten smirked "Who has Deidara next?"

"I do!" Midori, Haku, Naruto raised their hands.

"Great! Midori tell me who wins! Don't leave out the details!" Tenten grasped Midori by the shoulders.

"Okay fine!" Midori looked at Tenten's hands. "Just get your hands off me!"

"Oh, sorry-"

---RIIIIING---

"Time for Deidara's class!" Midori skipped with Haku and Naruto.

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't like leadership class so I guess I'll go see if Deidara was chicken to peirce his tongue."

"I'll come too..." Neji followed.

"..." Gaara stayed silent but followed them anyways.

Deidara walked in class that day, proud, and somwhat...happy? Students everywhere wondered, did he pierce his tongue? If so, then they just had to party! Deidara keeping his mouth shut during the entire class due to the pain on his tongue, could do wonders.

"Hello class." he anounced clearly, with NO pain at all. What a disappointment.

Everyone in class groaned.

"Dammit! I owe you a dollar." Naruto pulled out a dollar from his pants and threw it at Haku.

"Haha, I knew he was to chicken to peirce his tongue." he snickered.

Lee looked like he was in heaven. Youth will surely be destroyed by a tongue pierce! That is the way of non youth!

"No kids, I did not pierce my tongue." he chirped. "Yeah...,"

"Thank you god." Lee clasped his hands together and looked up to the ceiling.

"I pierced my nipples instead!"

"WHY GOD!" Lee fell on his knees dramatically.

Deidara lifted his shirt, just barely. "Wanna see?"

"NO!" everyone tried to block their view.

"Come on! It's really neat, yeah!"

"NO!"

"don'cha want a peek?"

"NO!

"Just a little-,"

"NO!"

"A-"

"NO!"

"Jeez, all right then." he huffed.

"What's shakin everybody?" Gai walked in.

"Hey Gai! have you noticed my nipples?" Deidara lifted his shirt just a little.

"um... ya know what?" Gai laughed nervously. "I think I misplaced my wife! better find her!"

"Oh no you don't!" Deidara blocked the doorway making it impossible for Gai to escape.

"Don't think I can't see through your phony game!" Deidara pressed his lips together like he was about to make out with Gai at any moment. "You're not fooling anyone mister!" Deidara pointed an accusing finger at Gai.

"um... I'm not trying to fool anyone!" Gai started to cold sweat.

Deidara looked at Gai as if he was a real criminal. " You want your wife to see my beautiful peirced nipples too, right?" Deidara cocked his head to one side.

"Think Deidara!" Midori stood up. "What would marry Gai?"

"A very desparate woman?" Deidara suggested.

"Not even if that woman was dead!"

"Hey!" Gai put his hands on his hips. "I happen to be the teacher of a very handsome devil!"

'Gai sensei!" Lee's eyes formed huge tear drops.

"Lee!" Gai ran to the kid with the bushy eyebrows.

"GAI SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"oh my god! will you hurry up already!" Naruto pounded his desk.

"Gai sensei!"

"Lee!"

They finally closed the gap between them.

"I'm just gonna stay WAY back in the room where i'm the farthest from Bush!" Midori pointed at Lee.

"I'll join you!" Haku followed.

"Don't leave me with ugly people!" Naruto ran after Midori and Haku.

"Sasuke, Neji, Gaara!" Midori called out to them.

"You know, you didn't need to scream!" Sasuke rubbed his ear.

"sorry I didn't think you guys could hear me!" Midori shrugged and took a chair and sat down.
"You screamed when you were when you were next to us." Sasuke muttered.

"well, maybe I just don't care!" Midori yawned.

"What do you think of Michael Jackson?" Haku popped up in the conversation.

"Where did that question come from?" Neji cocked a brow.

" I just don't know, Neji!" Haku huffed.

"What does that have anything to do with...anything?" Neji asked.

"If you want the opinions of other people having to do with Michael Jackson?" Midori butted in. "Then yes, that has something to so with something..."

"So come on!" Haku threw his arms in the air. "What do think of Michael Jackson?"

"Michael Jackson is the king of pop!" Naruto looked up. "He's the master of the moonwalk!"

"So that's what you think of him-"

"Shut up, i'm not done!" Naruto interrupted Haku. "He is the like Peter Pan except that he dosen't fly, he dosen't fight pirates, He dosen't believe in fairies and he sleeps with the lost boys!"

"So you think Michael Jackson is... like Peter Pan?" Midori said with a confused look on her face.

" Except that he dosen't fly, he dosen't fight pirates, he dosen't believe in fairies, he sleeps with the lost-"

"WE GET THE POINT!" Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Anyways" Naruto shrugged. "I'll just get back to stuffing ramen in my face!"

"weirdo..." Neji muttered.

"Hey do you guys remember the time I didn't want to cook a turkey for thanksgiving?" Midori asked.

"Oh yeah..." Neji smirked. "Naruto had to eat the turkey by himself..." Neji chuckled to himself.

"Yay!" Haku jumped in the air. "Time for a stupid story!"

"One: It's called funny flashback!" Midori stated. "And Two: I was going to tell the story but YOU had to interrupt!"

"Just tell the story!" Haku bounced.

"Fine..."

Flashback:

Midori sighed "I guess we won't have turkey for thanksgiving-"

"Woah woah woah!" Naruto got up from the couch. "No turkey for thanksgiving?"

"Sorry naruto..." Midori patted Naruto's back.

"Why not?" Naruto slapped on a shocked face. "Midori?"

"Tenten won't eat turkey!" Midori pointed at Tenten.

"Tenten?" Naruto looked at Tenten with a look that said 'What about the turkey?'

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I refuse to eat a turkey!" Tenten looked at her feet. "Turkeys are beautiful and smart and... and it's bad for your health!"

"No it's not!" Naruto shook his head. " Turkeys are ugly and stupid and delicious!"

"Well Naruto I'm sorry but the only people who are eating turkey are you and Sakura" Midori tried to explain. "The turkey is far too big for you and Sakura to eat by yourself!"

"I can eat it by myself!" Naruto snorted.

"Oh really?" Midori, Tenten, and Sakura crossed thier arms and cocked a brow.

"Of course I can!" Naruto huffed. "Having a Thanksgiving with no turkey is like... is like having a Friday night with no two boxes of medium pizza!" Naruto threw his arms in the air.

"All right, fine!" Midori smirked. "But you have to make sure you eat that turkey, Naruto!"

"Fine!" Naruto sat back down on the couch.

"This'll be interesting!" Sakura laughed. "I'll go tell Haku and the others-"

"No!" Midori interrupted Sakura. "I'll go tell Haku! You go tell the others!"

"um... okay?" Sakura left with a confused face.

---At Sasuke's house--- (For thanksgiving dinner)

"So, Sakura told me Naruto's going to eat a whole turkey by himself." Sasuke turned to Midori.

"Yup, that's true!"

"I betting he'll eat it all!" Midori said. "I just hope that he's not stupid enough to eat all the turkey and decide to put it all back and share it with us!"

"What?" Sasuke cocked a brow.

"It means that I don't want him to throw up!" Midori smacked Sasuke on the head.

"Did I miss it?" Roxn barged in the kitchen holding a pie in her hand. "Did Naruto eat the turkey already?"

"No." Sasuke, Neji, Gaara, Tenten, and Midori replied.

"Good!" Roxn sighed.

"What's that your holding?" Midori pointed at the pie.

"It's pumpkin pie!" Roxn replied. "Here. It's for thanksgiving dinner." Roxn handed the pie over to Midori.

"What's with the camera?" Tenten walked over to Midori and Roxn and pointed at the digital camera hanging around Roxn's neck.

"I want to take pictures of Naruto eating!" Roxn laughed.

"Hey Roxn? Can you help me set up the table?" Midori reached for the napkins.

"um... sure!"

"I'll be right back!" Midori went into the living room.

"Hey Sasuke? How come you don't have to set the table?" Roxn put her hands on her hips.

"I'm pretending to watch the football game!" Sasuke chuckled. "Every five minutes I scream something out like 'Yeah! Go Tony Romo!' or 'Dammit! another touchdown by Wallace!' so It makes me seem like i'm into the game!"

"Cool! I wanna do that too!" Roxn dropped the napkin in the table.

"Hey guys!" Midori walked in with the rest of the food. "I brought the extra pies we left in the living room!"

"Yeah! Go Green Bay!" Roxn cheered.

"I didn't know you were into the game?" Midori asked while folding the napkins into swans.

"Well, Green Bay is winning!" Roxn pointed out. "Can I go watch?"

"Sure! But why Green Bay?"

"Are you kidding me? that's like my all time favorite Bay ever!"

"Well then Go Green Bay!" Midori laughed.

"Good job..." Sasuke whispered and high fived Roxn.

"Hey guys!" Naruto walked in with a bag of chips and munched on them.

"What the hell are you doing? you're supposed to save room for the turkey!" Midori slapped Naruto playfully.

"Let me tell you how the human body works!" Naruto sassed Midori

"I have to warm up the body so it's ready for the turkey." Naruto rubbed his stomach. "Eating chips is like... stretching!"

"All right! You don't need to give me a lecture!" Midori gave in to Naruto.

---twenty minutes later---

"Okay people turkey time!" Midori called out.

Roxn and Sasuke turned off the TV and went to the table.

"So who won?"

Roxn twiddeled with her fingers "Well, As much as we really want to tell you-"

"We really don't want to tell you!" Sasuke interrupted.

Midori was confused "But-"

"Oh look food!" Roxn pointed at the table. "Let's eat!"

"It's Turkey time!" Naruto barged open the door.

"Okay everyone it's time for us to go around the table and say what we're thankful for-"

"Me first!" Naruto raised his hand as Midori gave him a perplexed look.

"Okay Naruto." Midori groaned.

Naruto clasped his hands together. "I am thankful for my friends..."

'awww...' everyone (except for Gaara) thought.

"I am thankful for the life I am living today..." Naruto continued.

"And the angels that surround me whom I call my best friends..."

"AWWWW!" Everyone (except Gaara) cooed.

"And I'm also thankful ramen was in my life!" Naruto added.

Everyone groaned. "You just had to open your big mouth and ruin it!" Sakura sneered.

"Okay, time for Tenten." Midori pointed at Tenten.

"I am thankful for my best friend in the whole world, Roxn."

"How come it's gotta be Roxn this, Roxn that?" Haku questioned the Meatball headed Chinese fanatic girl.

"Look!" Neji groaned. "I'm hungry! So can we just shut the hell up and just say Thanks for the food and eat already?"

"Yeah I guess it's the right thing to do..." Roxn nodded.

"Bring on the Turkey!" Naruto pounded his fist on the table.

Midori walked to the the covered platter and took the lid off.

"Some turkey!" Naruto snorted. "I could eat this thing by myself EASY!"

"That's Haku's chicken..." Midori whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Of course that was!" Naruto laughed nervously.

"This" Midori placed the turkey on the table "is the turkey" Midori continued.

"Woah!" Everyone stared at the turkey on the table.

"um... " Naruto gulped as he stared at 'it' in front of him.

"How much is that?" Naruto asked wide eyed.

"It's nineteen pounds..." Midori smirked.

"That's like me when I was born!"

"What's the matter?" Neji smirked.

"Is Naruto too afraid?" Sasuke teased.

"NO!" Naruto shouted. "I will not lose to a dead turkey!"

---Thirty-seven minutes later---

"uhh..." Naruto slouched on his chair.

"you know Naruto you don't need to eat it all..." Midori patted his back gently.

"No way man!" Naruto growled. "If I can't eat this turkey by myself I'd be the kind of berson who 'saves' the turkey and put it in the refrigirator for... for me to eat when I'm hungry!" Naruto said putting air quotes when he said saves.

"I'd be damned if I can't eat this turkey!"

---forty minutes later---

"You can look, it's over now..." Haku patted Midori's back.

"Oh god! I almost died watching him eat!" Midori gasped.

"It was like... he unleashed the 'beast' within him!" Roxn stared at the now bloated Naruto.

"I can't eat no more..." Naruto mumbled.

"Who want's pie?" Midori held up a platter of pie.

"What flavor is it?" Naruto turned to Midori.

"Chocolate with little cream sprinkles!"

"Can I have just a little peice?" Naruto showed how much was little with his fingers.

"Okay." Midori was about to cut.

"Just a little bit more..." Naruto murmured.

Midori moved a little bit more.

"Some more..."

"um... okay..." Midori chuckled.

"Just a little bit more..."

"uh" Midori rolled her eyes.

"Aw come on are you afraid you're gonna run out of pie? Cut me a real piece!" Naruto groaned.

"Well, you might as well eat the whole pie!" Sasuke looked at the ceiling with a smug look on his face.

"you know what?" Naruto stood up and groaned from the pain of his stomach. "Maybe I will!" He snatched the pie.

From eating too much food Naruto passed out and his friends called the ambulance and a week later Naruto recovered from that night... Wow! I guess too much of something really is bad for you.

End of Flashback

"poor Naruto..." Midori shook her head but still couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Yeah, I guess that was too much for him to handle!" Neji laughed along with the others (encluding Gaara this time)

"I don't know who I should feel sorry for: Naruto or the Turkey!" Haku laughed.

"I'm saying the turkey!" Sasuke laughter rang throughout the school.

"I know! He's such a loser!" Naruto joined in with their laughter.

"um..." Everyone stopped laughing and sweatdropped.

"What?" Naruto smiled widely. "you guys were laughing about a boy right?"

"um... Naruto I don't know how to tell you this but..." Midori bagan. "We were laughing at you-oh look! I guess I really knew how to tell you this!"

"You guys were... laughing at me?" Naruto frowned.

"um... yeah..." Everyone nodded

"It was about the turkey wasn't it?" Naruto sighed.

Everyone nodded.

Naruto shook his head "I promise I'll never eat another turkey again..."

Just then a man popped up out of nowhere. "Get you freash turkey legs! Turkey legs for sale!"

"I want one!" Naruto rushed to the man.

"So uh, what were we talking about again?" Naruto asked munching on a turkey leg.

"Okay class!" Deidara spook up. "The school has to do this what are you gonna be when you grow up thingy every year so listen up yeah!"

"When I call your name come to the front and say what your gonna be and why and then answer a few questions and shut the fuck up and sit!"

"Naruto! your first!" Deidara pointed at the blonde idiot.

"Okay, but I just have a few questios!" Naruto walked to the front of the room.

"Do I have to pass college if I want to be what I wanna grow up to be?" Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"Not all the time, but if you want to have a good job that pays a lot then yes..." Deidara nodded.

"I cannot go college!" Naruto whined. "I go be one homeless on the beach, man!"

"How are you gonna use the bathroom?" A student cocked a brow.

"I use the public bathroom on the beach!" Naruto stated.

"How you gonna shower?"

"No Duh!" Naruto snorted. "I use the shower on the beach but I gotta put the shower curtain around me, man!"

"How's your house gonna look like?"

"It's gonna be a shack!" Naruto smirked. "It's gonna say: Naruto's hut"

"What are you gonna eat Naruto?" Deidara asked.

"I catch the fish!"

"You know what? this is so stupid!" Deidara slapped himself. "Besides being 'homeless' what do you want to be?"

"A rapper!" Naruto grinned. "No! A HOMELESS Rapper!"

"I go ride to the radio station on my bike with my dog!" Naruto slapped on a happy face.

"I'm gonna show you the homeless walk!" Naruto grinned and started walking in a reterted fashion.

"This the homeless palk walk!"

"I'm gonna marry one homeless too, man!" Naruto looked at Sakura. "Do you Naruto, take the homeless girl to be your waif?" Naruto asked himself.

"EWWWW!" Sakura slapped Naruto across the cheek leaving a hand mark.

"Okay everyone?" Deidara changed the subject. "You all have to choose a partner and interview eachother!"

Nobody moved. "Okay, If nobody picks a partner within ten seconds I'm choosing for you!"

Nobody moved.

"Ten, Nine-"

"Okay I get Haku!" Midori tugged on Haku's arm.

---Ten seconds later---

"I don't got a partner!" Naruto whined.

"Well you better choose somebody or I'll be your partner!" Deidara glared at him.

"Wha- NO!" Naruto cried.

"CHOOSE ALREADY!" Deidara huffed.

"Kay then, Sasuke's gonna be homeless with me!" Naruto sat next to Sasuke.

"Okay Sasuke teme!" Naruto started. "Question number one: Are you afraid to die?"

"What kind of question is that?" Sasuke cocked a brow.

"A question that that revolves around on one's opinion if they are afriad of death or not!" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"... what?" Sasuke was still confused.

"Well I'm afraid to die!" Naruto twiddled with his fingers.

"Okay class! Class is almost over so pack up yeah!" Deidara started to pack up.

---RIIIIING---

"Okay so who won?" Tenten caught up with Midori, Haku, Neji, Gaara, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura .

"Haku..." Everyone except Haku muttered.

"So he didn't peirce his tongue?" Tenten said gloomily.

"He peirced his nipples instead..." Midori said with such disgust.

"Oh hey Roxn!" Tenten caught a glimpse of a girl version of Deidara.

"Yo!" Roxn threw Tenten a peace sign.

"Just shut up and walk with us..." Neji muttered.

"Hey guys?" Naruto halted the Idiot Brigade. "Do you remember the time Sasuke, Neji, and Gaara spread that rumor about Sakura?"

"Yes..." Everyone except Sakura chuckled.

"There is nothing funny about that!" Sakura stammered.

"Like move it Big forehead person!" Ino bumped into Sakura.

"Will you shut the hell up Bitch?" Midori pushed Ino.

"You shut up" Ino flipped her hair.

"Uh-oh..." Everyone muttered.

"Hahahahaha!" Midori laughed evily. She was going to do something horrible to this girl.

---ten minutes later---

"My precious hair!" Ino screamed.

"Woah!" Neji gasped. "And I thought she was ugly before!"

"Why'd you shave it all off!!!" Ino shrieked.

"Behold!" Midori ignored Ino's shrieks. "My master peice!"

"It's beautiful!" Everyone cheered.

"NOOOOO!" Ino cried all the way home.

"Serves her right!" Sakura laughed. "I feel better now..."

"Good! So can we tell the flashback all ready?" naruto bounced.

"Alright fine..." Sakura muttered harsh curses under her breath.

Flashback:

"Are you guys keeping a secret from me?" Sakura pointed accusingly at them.

"No!" Sasuke laughed nervously. "We didn't spread a rumor about you!"

"What rumor?!" Sakura was confused.

"Good job, Uchiha!" Neji said sarcastically.

"Sorry! but she's scary when she's mad!" Sasuke turned to Neji.

What rumor?!" Sakura repeated.

"We started a rumor that you had both male and female reproductive systems..." Sasuke mumbled.

"you what?" Sakura pulled her hair.

"You guys started that?" Midori's eyes widened

"You knew?" Sakura turned to Midori.

"um..."

"Oh my gosh! and You didn't tell me?" Sakura was close to crying.

"I thought it was true and you were gonna cry and show 'it' to me." Midori mumbled.

"uh!" Sakura groaned.

"hmmm..." naruto looked at Sakura's vagina region.

"Oh stop staring Naruto, It's not true!" Sakura smacked Naruto on his head.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna need some proof!" Naruto smiled still staring at Sakura's reproductive section.

"So this is the reason why Jimmy wrote: You were a great person, not girl, PERSON' Sakura read from her yearbook.

"This is almost as good as the rumor Sakura spread about Naruto!" haku said as he ate popocorn.

" Rumor? Tell me!" Naruto got up from his chair.

"Sakura told everyone that you had sex with that fifty year old librarian from school!" Haku smiled widely.

"How did you know that?!" Naruto turned to Sakura.

"That was true?" Sakura replied.

"no..." Naruto replied rather quickly.

"It was no wonder why you volunteered to help her everyday afterschool!" sakura smirked.

"That's it!" Naruto fumed. "I'm back in the I hate Sakura club!"

"I wanna join!" Haku raised his hand and jumped.

"Haku!" Sakura turned to Haku.

"I'm sorry but i've never been in a club before!"

"uh!" Sakura stomped away.

End of Flashback

"Hey what about the time Naruto brought that monkey to your house?" Midori asked Sasuke.

"yeah I remember..." Sasuke smiled.

"When was that?" Naruto cocked his head to one side.

"Don't you remember?" Midori cocked a brow. "Remember Shaina?"

Flashback:

"Hey guys!" Naruto walked in with a monkey on his head.

"Wh-what is that?" Sasuke pointed at the monkey.

"It's a monkey!" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"My friend Bethal rescued this monkey from a lab!" Naruto walked past Sasuke.

"That is so cruel!" Haku huffed.

"I know!" Midori agreed.

"I mean, who would name thier son Bethal?" haku threw his arms in the air.

"Actually I think keeping a monkey in a lab is cruel." Midori gave Haku a confusing smile.

"You are so mean to Bethal!" Haku walked away.

"Hey guys!" Midori, Neji, Gaara, Tenten, and naruto walked to Sasuke and Roxn who were in a different conversation.

"What if I don't want to go to seven eleven's with you?" Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Then I'll say 'Come again?' Then I'll laugh cause I said come!" Roxn grabbed Sasuke's arm and pulled him outside.

"Now let's hurry and go to seven's!" Roxn looked both ways and crossed the street.

End of flashback

"Oh yeah! I remember Bethal and Shaina!" Naruto nodded.

"He actually remebers something!" Sasuke said sarcastically.

"I swear, if I was an idiot I would be ugly!" Neji spoke up.

"Where did that come from?" Everyone stared at Neji wuth a confused look.

"I don't know..." Neji's face flushed with embarrasment. "No one is talking to me so I feel kinda left out..."

"Don't worry Neji!" Midori patted his back. "If you see us talking to people other than you, just pretend you're talking to us!" Midori said sarcastically.

"If you don't want to fell left out! Make some friends! Talk about interesting stuff!" Midori slapped Neji across the forehead.

"Yeah!" Sakura added. "Talk about interesting stuff!"

"Like what?" Neji cocked a brow.

"I don't know! Clouds, cookies, Star wars!" Midori shrugged.

Neji suggested "How about the destiny of people-"

"BORING!" Everyone replied.

"Why would anyone want to know their destiny?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "That's so 'Hyuuga' clan!"

"I'd rather shove a needle in my eye!" Midori added.

"Yeah, Or stick a chainsaw up my ass!" Naruto nodded his head.

Neji interrupted "Okay, you can stop-"

"Or dye my fuzz green!" Sasuke snorted.

"Alright I get it-"

"Or get into a relation ship with Gaara!" Midori huffed.

"What did you say?" Gaara sneered.

"Why the hell would I want to go out with him!" Midori pointed at Gaara.

"Well why not?" Sakura questioned her.

"He has problems..." She whispered.

"Name one!" Naruto interupted

"He has anger mangement issues, sense of style, eyeliner issues, and his appitites are weird! I mean Salted tongue and gizzard?" Midori asked herself. "GROSS!"

"Yeah, you're right..." Everyone but Gaara seemed to agree.

"Okay so getting back to the topic." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Everything you talk about is soooo boring!" Sakura continued.

"Okay, I get-"

"B"

"I kno-"

"O"

"..."

"R"

"Shu-"

"I"

"Quiet-"

"N"

"crap-"

"G!" Sakura spelled.

"LOOK, I KNOW I'M A BORING PERSON! SO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Neji was enraged.

"..." Everyone was speechless.

"So you were talking about an iguana, right?" Naruto turned to Haku.

"I was talking about Cows, Idiot!" Haku slapped Naruto playfully.

"What if life was a game?" Naruto asked.

"WEIRDO!" Everyone eyed the blonde retard.

"What?"

"If life was a game..." Sakura started. "Of course I would be Princess Peach!"

"I wanna hear another flashback!" Naruto whined.

"Kay, fine!" Roxn sighed.

Flashback:

"where are my socks?" Roxn called out in the empty halls of Sasuke's house.

"I don't know!" Sasuke called out.

"Try check the fridge!" Naruto called out.

"Why would it be in the fridge?" Roxn cocked a brow.

"You never know!" Naruto shrugged. "Last time I found my underwear in the clothes drawer!"

"Where do you usually keep your underwear, then?" Roxn had a confused look on her face.

"In the freezer!" Naruto stated. "No duh!" Naruto rolled his eyes.

---IMPORTANT MESSAGE---
I feel soooo depressed! A two year old girl named Jaedy Anne had to go to the hospital! Her fingers are fractured! T________T There was soooooooo much BLOOD! I felt so horrible! My eyes still hurt from crying so hard! But there is some good news! Jaedy is coming back and she's still okay! But still, she's a bit sensitive and now we aren't supossed to treat her in such a crude way... But I'm soooo glad she's okay! I have to kiss her ass and lick her armpitt in order to forgive myself! >< gross! XD Okay, Thanks for hearing me out! Back to the story now!

---END OF AUTHOUR'S IMPORTANT MESSAGE---

"Weird..." Roxn mumbled.

"Can we stop this now?" Naruto interrupted.

"Why?" Roxn cocked her head to one side.

"Just end the stupid flashback so we can get back to our original lives!" Naruto yelled.

"Fine!" Roxn yelled back

End of flashback

"Remeber that time I turned goth?" Haku spoke up.

"When was that?" Tenten questioned the homosexual weirdo.

"Like five minutes ago-"

"NOT!" Roxn quickly replied back.

"YES!" Haku stated as a matter of fact.

"Since when?!"

"FIVE MINUTES AGO!" Haku rolled his eyes.

"NOT!" Roxn shook her head furiously.

"..." Haku sweatdropped. "We're like doing the same thing over and over..."

"Tell us the flashback then!" Roxn crossed her arms.

"Fine..." Haku flipped his hair.

Flashback:
"I want to hear another flashback!" Naruto whined.

"I think i'm gonna go goth..." Haku painted his nails black.

"Kay, Fine!" Roxn sighed.

"Roxn told her flashback and you guys ignored me when I siad I'm gonna go goth..." Haku frowned

"No!" Naruto shook his head. "You said that you THINK you're gonna go goth!"

"Same crap, same crap..." Haku rolled his eyes.

"..." Everyone was speechless.

"Can I go home now?" Haku whined.

"tsk, tsk Haku!" Roxn shook her head. "You can't leave without ending your flashback!"

"oh, allright..." Haku sighed.

End of Flashback

"So I'm just gonna go home now..." Haku walked away.

"I'm comin with you!" Midori followed. "I don't think you're old enough to cross the street alone!"

"I'm gonna go to my favorite ramen shop!" Naruto grinned widely and walked out.

"I'm going somewhere..." Roxn shrugged and walked away.

"Time for martial arts lessons!" Tenten ran out the door.

"I'm just going home..." Neji walked away.

"Me too..." Sasuke walked out the door.

"..." Gaara went home.

"Um..." Deidara tried to stop them "Class isn't over yet!"

"..." They all ignored him... Well, At least he tried!

A/N: Holy damn! That was a long chappie! It's about thirty pages long! My hands would've cramped if I did that all in one day! :P My next chappie is going to take me a bit of time! So just wait for it!