Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto: The Musical ❯ Part 2 (Out of 5) ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

“It's you…” Kakashi breathed. “But… I killed you!”

“Yes… you did. You, unlike your students, did not shrink from your duty.” Haku gazed at him coolly.

Sakura stammered, “B-but how?!”

“…”

“Oh, you didn't know?” Itachi appeared beside Haku, studying the boy intently, “The object we're searching for is a stone of great power, which has the ability to bring back the dead for a limited amount of time.”

“So I am going to die… again?” Haku frowned.

“No, you're still dead… after a certain amount of time, you will fade away.”

“W-wait a minute!” Orochimaru interjected, “That means that someone is using this stone… so who has it?”

Haku hesitated, then pointed at a certain blonde ninja, who was tossing a small stone up into the air, catching it as it fell to the ground.

“NARUTO!!!!” Kakashi shouted as Orochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi, and Kisame all drew their weapons.

“…What? Oh, HOLY CRAP!!! IT'S HAKU!!!!” Naruto seemed to levitate, he was so shocked. “…Y-you guys aren't going to believe this, but I was just thinking about this guy!”

Itachi rolled his eyes, “Yes, the stone responds to its user's thoughts… Now give it to me if you want to live!”

“I'm afraid I can't let you do that.” Haku seemed to appear in front of Naruto.

“… I beg your pardon?”

“I must serve the wielder of the stone.”

“You can't be serious!” Orochimaru snapped.

“I'm quite serious…” Suddenly Haku smiled, a sweet smile, but his voice was deadly, “Tell me; do you have what it takes to kill the dead?”

Naruto blinked dumbly before staring at the flat rock on his hand. “I wonder if it will work on someone else!”

“I like bubbles,” Zabuza said quite suddenly as he stood next to Haku.

“AHHH!!” Naruto jumped at least five feet into the air.

“Zabuza, sir… so you came, too?” the ice ninja tilted his head just the slightest.

The other mist shinobi shrugged to this, “Not like I had a choice. I was suddenly whisked away from my-“

“Zabuza, it isn't healthy for you to be up and around. You know what it's done to your head lately.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“… I swear, you'll be the death of me, Master Zabuza…” sighed Haku. All of a sudden, very, very sad music began to play from out of nowhere, and the whole room was covered with a thin sheet of ice.

{My Last Breath}

Haku: Hold on to me, love…
You know I can't stay long.
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

Haku: Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself,
Are all my thoughts of you.
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight…

Zabuza: I'll miss the winter…
A world of fragile things.
Haku: Look for me in the white forest,
Hiding in a hollow tree…come find me…
I know you hear me.
I can taste it in your tears.

Zabuza: Holding my last breath…
Haku: Safe inside myself,
Are all my thoughts of you
Zabuza and Haku: Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

Zabuza: Closing your eyes to disappear.
You pray your dreams will leave you here.
Haku: But still you wake and know the truth.
No one's there…

Zabuza: Say goodnight…

Haku: Don't be afraid.
Zabuza: Calling me…

Haku: Calling me as you fade to black…

Zabuza: Holding my last breath…
Haku: Safe inside myself,
Are all my thoughts of you
Zabuza and Haku: Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight…

{End}

“… Wow,” gaped Naruto, staring at them, a bit slack-jawed. “That was… interesting. Deep…”

Sakura frowned. “Who would have ever guessed they were a couple?”

“Isn't that called pedophilia?” said the blonde ninja.

“… Shut up, Naruto.”

Zabuza stared blankly into space for a moment, seeming to find the windows interesting. “… I like bubbles. It reminds me of my bath time…”

Haku sweat-dropped. “Master Zabuza, there is no need to go into detail about what you do at that time-“

But it was too late…

{??? Heheheh… You ready for this? - Author 2 }

Zabuza: Splish, splash, I was taking a bath…
Long about a Saturday night!
A rub-a-dub, just relaxing in the tub,
Thinking everything was all right!
Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor,
I wrapped the towel around me and I-
Opened the door, and then I…
Splish, splash! I jumped back in the bath!
Well, how was I to know there was a party going on?

Haku: Uh… Master?

Zabuza: They was a-splishing and a-splashing!
Reeling with the feeling, moving and a-grooving!
Rocking and a-rolling, yeah!

Zabuza: Bing, bang, I saw the whole gang,
Dancing on my living room rug, yeah!
Flip, flop, they was doing the bop!
All the teens had the dancing floor!
But there was lollipop with a Sakura Sue!
Good Golly, Sasuke Mally was-a even there, too!
A- well- a, Splish, splash, I forgot about the bath!
I went and put my dancing shoes on, yeah!!

Sasuke: …

Sakura: Are you saying… you jumped out of the tub naked and started dancing? That's just…

Haku: *sighs…* This deserves an explanation.

Zabuza: I was a rolling and a strolling, reeling with the feeling,
Moving and a grooving, splishing and a splashing, yeah!

Naruto: Yes, I was a-splishing and a splashing!
I was a-rolling and a-strolling...

Sakura: Naruto, shut up!

Zabuza: Yeah, I was a-moving and a-grooving!
We was a-reeling with the feeling!
We was a-rolling and a-strolling!
Moving with the grooving!

Splish, splash, YEAH!

{End}

“Um… What the hell happened to him?!” blinked Kakashi.

Kisame nodded, “Yeah, I always thought Zabuza was weird, but…”

“Well…” Haku started. “It is because… well… the night before we fought against you… ah… I really would rather not go into the details…”

“It was fun!” Zabuza smiled sweetly.

“That's… scary.” Kakashi shuddered. “I mean, I'm all for having fun, but driving yourself nuts with-”

“Shut… up!” Iruka hissed stiffly.

“But I was just-”

“NO!”

“Awwww…”

The sound of a door opening made everyone's head turn just in time to see Lee skipping out into the room, his feet barely touching the ground. Gaara followed him moodily.

“Hello!… Who are they?” Lee blinked. “… Why is everyone staring at us?”

“OH, LEE!!!!” Gai threw his arms around his student.

“Master? Did something happen? What is going on?”

Gaara sighed, “I should have stayed in my room.”

“Well, who are these two? I have never met them before.”

“Uh… This is Zabuza, and Haku… heheh…” Kakashi hid his grin behind his mask.

“What is so funny?” Lee asked. “Master! You are crying! What is wrong?”

“N-nothing, L-Lee! I…I'm f-fine!”

“Oh… okay…???”

“Will someone just tell us what's going on?” Gaara snapped.

“Uh… Well see, I found the magic stone and brought Haku and Zabuza back from the dead!”

“Ah… so that's why those four have their weapons out.”

“Wha?” Everyone turned to stare at Itachi, Kisame, Orochimaru, and Kabuto.

“You know,” Zabuza beamed at all of them, “You guys should be more cheerful, like Haku and me!” Haku stood by him, his face expressionless.

“This Master Zabuza is right!” Lee cried, “Gai-Sensei, perhaps you would not be so upset if you were more carefree, like him.”

“Yeah, cheer up, Master Gai,” Neji smirked nastily.

“We shall help him, right Neji?”

“… I've already done enough today. Ask someone else!”

“You did something? Oh, I must have been asleep.” Gai made an odd, muffled sound.

“I'll help!”

“Yay! Tenten! Way to go!”

“… Uh, what should we do?”

“Let us sing, Tenten!”

“Yes, Lee!”

“Does anyone else want to sing with us?” Lee looked over the crowd hopefully.

“I-I will… if you want.”

“Yay! Hinata! You are so nice!” Lee cheered. Hinata blushed.

“Suck-up,” Neji muttered.

Hinata gazed at him innocently, “Did you say something, Cousin?”

“… No.”

“All right! Song time!”

There was a collective sigh from the crowd, save for Gaara, who didn't seem to care either way, and Gai, who was still sobbing on the floor.

{Shiny Happy People}

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Itachi: Not another stupid song! Not another one! #*($&$^&(@!$&(!$#(%!!!!!!!!

Lee: Meet me in the crowd!

People!

Tenten and Hinata: People!

Lee: Throw your love around!

Love me!

Gai: WWWWWHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Tenten and Hinata: Love me!

Lee: Take it into town!

Happy!

Tenten and Hinata: Happy!

Lee: Put it in the ground where the flowers grow!

Gold and silver shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Itachi: Kisame, make them shut the hell up.

Kisame: How?

Itachi: YOU FUCKING USELESS-MMFFFFF!!!!!

Gaara: … Don't you like the taste of my sand? I do. It's like blood.

Itachi: MMMMMMFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Lee: Everyone around!

Love them!

Tenten and Hinata: Love them!

Lee: Put it in your hands!

Take it!

Tenten and Hinata: Take it!

Lee: There is no time to cry!

Happy!

Gai: *Sniff, sniff. *

Gaara: What's wrong with you?

Gai: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Tenten and Hinata: Happy!

Lee: Put it in your heart where-

Lee, Tenten, and Hinata: Tomorrow shines!

Lee: Gold and silver shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Itachi: WHY?! WHY ME?! IT'S SO UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!

Gaara: Are you going to be quiet?

Itachi: *Nods. *

Gaara: …Fine.

Itachi: *Runs into kitchen gagging.*

Shikamaru: Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo.

Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo.

(Repeats over and over)

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Orochimaru: Why… Why doesn't it stop?!

Kabuto: I'm sure it's almost over, my lord.

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Gai: H-happy…

Tenten and Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Lee: Shiny happy people laughing!

Hinata: Shiny happy people holding hands!

Tenten: People! Happy people!

Lee, Tenten, and Hinata: People!

{Fades}

“Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo...”

“SHUT UP!!!” Orochimaru snarled at Shikamaru.

“Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo...”

“Shikamaru… the song's over,” said Tenten.

“Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo...”

“SHIKAMARU!!” Ino howled.

“Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo...”

“… This is pathetic,” Neji sighed as he turned to stare at a spot on the wall.

“Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo...”

“Hey, look!” Choji pointed out the window. “A cloud!”

“Clooouuuuddd….” said Shikamaru, drooling as he stared after it, “Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Doo, do, do, do, do, do, dododo... cloud… do, do, do, do, do, dododo. Cloud, do, do, do, do, do, dododo... cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, clou-clou-cloud……”

“Right, let's just ignore him for a while. He's at the mushrooms again,” Neji frowned.

“This is ridiculous!!”

Sasuke snarled as he stormed around the room, finally loosing his cool. His eyes of black were erupting with hatred as he looked around for something to obliterate. “I'm sick of having to listen to these stupid songs! Why can't we all do something else? I hate this!! HATE IT!!”

“He's starting to sound like someone I know…” Kisame muttered, glancing towards the kitchen and `eep'ing as Itachi wandered out.

“Ugh, that was disgusting!” the other snarled, much like Sasuke did. “I hate this! This is ridiculous!! If I have to listen to another fucking song, I'm going to blow up this whole place and say to hell with it!”

“AHHH!!” Both Uchiha siblings vented their anger at the ceiling simultaneously.

“And I hate you most of all!” Sasuke whirled around to point a finger at his older brother.

Itachi snarled right back, “You make me sick!”

“Why can't you just die?!”

“Why can't YOU?!”

“What did you say?!”

“You heard me, bitch!”

“AHHH!!” They both screamed again.

All of characters, save for Shikamaru, who was still muttering, “Cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, clou-clou-cloud……” ran for the rooms on the other side. Gaara and Lee vanished into their room, Kakashi dragged a flailing and whimpering Iruka back to theirs, and the rest of them crowded into another.

Sasuke clenched his fist before finally turning to his brother. “I've got something to say to you, pal!”

“Then hit me with it, wench!” the other replied with a glare. No one seemed to notice that Haku and Zabuza had vanished…

{Going Under}

Sasuke: Now I will tell you what I've done for you…

Sasuke: 50 thousand tears I've cried…
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you,
And you still won't hear me! I'm going under…
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself!
Maybe I'll wake up for once,
Not tormented… daily defeated by you.
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom…

Sasuke: I'm dying again...

Shikamaru: Cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, cloud, clou-clou-cloud…

Sasuke: I'm going under…
Drowning in you!
I'm falling forever!
I've got to break through!
I'm going under!

{Meanwhile…}

“OW! Get off, Naruto, you pervert!”

“Sorry, Sakura!”

“OW! Get off, Naruto, you creep!”

“Sorry, Ino!”

“N-Naruto! I can't breathe…”

“… I could've sworn I just heard Hinata…”

“Hey… Tenten! Where did Lee go?”

“Dunno, Master Gai.”

“Have you two seen Gaara…?”

“…”

“NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

{Meanwhile… again…}

“I can still hear them shouting…” grumbled the Kazekage as he sat back down on the bed. Lee sat down next to him with a sigh.

“Perhaps they will calm down after a while.”

Gaara snorted. “They'd better.”

“…” Lee shuffled his feet a bit. “So… what now?”

“… I don't care.”

“Uh… well… we could… take another nap…”

“I'm not tired.”

“Oh… well, we could just-”

“Lie down…”

“O-oh… ok…”

{Meanwhile… for the last time… maybe…}

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” screamed Iruka.

“Heh… he-heh… hehe….”

“*Sob*…”

{Mea-… at the same time…}

Sasuke: Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies…
So I don't know what's real and what's not.
Always confusing the thoughts in my head,
So I can't trust myself anymore…

Sasuke: I'm dying again…

Sasuke: I'm going under…
Drowning in you!
I'm falling forever!
I've got to break through!
I'm going under!

Itachi: So go on and scream!
Scream at me!
I'm so far away!

Sasuke: I won't be broken again!
I've got to breathe!
I can't keep going under!

Sasuke: I'm dying again!

Sasuke: I'm going under…
Drowning in you!
I'm falling forever!
I've got to break through!
I'm going under!

Going under!

I'm going under!

Both Itachi and Sasuke are on the ground, gasping for air after screaming at each other for so long.

{End}

All the people that stood in the one room together finally tumbled out, falling about one another.

“I can breathe again…” gasped Shino as he stood up, brushing off his coat with a sigh.

Choji didn't look affected. “I'm fine.”

Unfortunately, the only one that was not okay was Hinata, for Neji was forced to give her mouth to mouth. “Damn… Naruto!” he hissed.

“… NO! *Gasp* We're… not done!” gasped Itachi as he struggled to his feet, having to wrap his arms around his abdomen to steady himself. A strange glint formed in the pair of Sharingan.

“… Another song?” Shino sighed.

{Guilty}

Itachi: I feel guilty…
My words are empty.
No signs to give you;
I don't have the time for you.

Itachi: You say I'm heartless…

Naruto: Isn't THAT the truth!

Sakura: You can say that again…

Itachi: And you say I don't care!
I used to be there for you,
And you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed,
But so have you!

Itachi: Guilty, whhoooaahh… I feel so…
Empty, yeaahhh… empty, you know how to make me feel!

Itachi: I put a shield upon you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I would have only poisoned your mind…
Never meant to make you cry.

Itachi: You've been so thoughtless…
I can see right through you…
You used to be there for me,
So don't you leave and say goodbye,
'Cause you have changed but so have I!

Itachi: Guilty, whhoooaahh… I feel so…
Empty, yeaahhh… empty, you know how to make me feel!

Itachi and Sasuke: I never thought that the time and the distance,
Between us made you so much colder.

Itachi: I'll carry the world on my shoulders!

Itachi: Guilty, whhoooaahh… I feel so…
Empty, yeaahhh… empty, you know how to make me feel!

{End}

“Itachi… feels bad?” Tenten snickered lightly behind her hand, not letting the criminal hear her.

But apparently he did. “Uh… well, you see, there's something I've discovered over the few years I've been in the Akatsuki…” Itachi then covered his brother's ears and hissed, “I've got the hots for my younger brother, Sasuke.”

“……………………&# 8230;………………………… ……….”

“That… is a bit too kinky…” Jiraiya went rather green.

“You're an incestuous pedophile?” Orochimaru lifted his eyebrows.

Heehee! Kisame thought. And he called me a pansy!

“What?! What the hell is he saying?!” Sasuke struggled against his sibling's hold.

“… GRR!” Everyone looked up to see Sakura and Ino fuming.

Itachi blinked, “What the-”

“SASUKE'S MINE, YOU PIG!” both girls screeched simultaneously, but only Ino was stupid enough to actually charge at the criminal. Itachi shoved his brother aside and pulled out a sword, and Ino ran herself through upon it.

“… Whoops…”

“I told you not to steal my role, Uchiha.” Gaara was leaning against his bedroom door, his face unreadable.

“Give me a break!” Itachi snapped, “She ran straight onto my sword!”

“Then you shouldn't have drawn it.”

The criminal threw his hands into the air, “Fine! Whatever! Who cares?!” He didn't notice Sakura, Hinata, Choji, and (surprisingly) Shikamaru's stricken faces.

“Let me put it this way, emo freak,” Gaara's jade eyes gazed straight into Itachi's with no sign of fear, “If you make another move like that, you won't have to worry about who gets that stone, because I'll have feasted upon your flesh.” And for the first time in his life, Itachi was… unnerved. “… Oh, I'm blocking the door… silly… me…” The group shuddered collectively, and Gaara turned about and opened the door. “Lee. Ino's dead.”

“…What?!” Lee exploded into the room, righteous anger radiating from him. He spied Itachi's bloodstained sword. “YOU FIEND!!!!” He rushed at the elder Uchiha in a blind sprint, but fell over when his arms and legs were caught by ropes of… sand.

“This one isn't the kind you can take down with anger alone, Lee.” Gaara let his orbs drift from Itachi to Lee, and back again. “Besides… it appears she threw herself on his sword.”

“ARGH!!” Sakura began screaming at the top of her lungs, “YOU TRY TO TAKE SASUKE FROM ME AND THEN YOU KILL MY BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!”

“No!” Everyone turned to look at Sasuke. “…He's mine.”

Itachi blinked.

“Ahem…” Sasuke cleared his throat… “YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED SOMEONE?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!”

Sakura whined and jumped up and down at this. “Sasukeee! You've become such a jerk ever since you left to find Orochimaru! Where did the old Sasuke go? WHERE?!”

{Complicated}

Sakura: Uh huh…

Life's like this.

Uh huh…Uh huh…

That's the way it is…

Cause life's like this.

Uh huh…

That's the way it is.

Sakura: Chill out.

What you yelling for?

Lay back.

It's all been done before.

And if you could only let it be,

You will see…

Sasuke: Look who's talking…

Sakura: I like you the way you are,

When we're driving in your car.

And you're talking to me one-on-one,

But you become,

Sakura: Somebody else.

`Round everyone else.

Watching your back,

Like you can't relax.

You're trying to be cool.

You look like a fool to me.

Tell me…

Sakura and Tenten: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

Sakura: I see the way you're-

Sakura and Tenten: Actin' like you're somebody else,

Sakura: Gets me frustrated.

Life's like this you,

Sakura and Tenten: You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get,

Sakura: And you turning into.

Sakura and Tenten: Honestly, you promised me.

I'm never gonna find you fake it.

Sakura: No, no, no…

Sakura: You come over unannounced.

Dressed up like you're something else.

Where you are ain't where it's at, you see.

You're making me,

Laugh out,

When you strike a pose.

Take off,

All your preppy clothes.

You know,

You're not fooling anyone,

When you become…

Sakura: Somebody else,

Round everyone else.

Watching your back,

Like you can't relax.

You're trying to be cool.

You look like a fool to me.

Tell me…

Sakura and Tenten: Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

Sakura: I see the way you're-

Sakura and Tenten: Actin' like you're somebody else,

Sakura: Gets me frustrated.

Life's like this you,

Sakura and Tenten: You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get,

Sakura: And you turning into.

Sakura and Tenten: Honestly, you promised me.

I'm never gonna find you fake it.

Sakura: No, no, nAUGH!!

Sakura cries out as Itachi hits her over the head as best as he could, much like he did with Ino.

{Abrupt End}

“… Are you going to run your sword through her, too?” grumbled Neji.

Itachi growled as he folded his arms across his chest. “I was thinking about it…”

There was a moment of silence before Tenten pouted, looking around sourly. “Boy, we've been hearing nothing but sad and annoying songs lately. We need something happier.”

Gaara growled again, “Lee… do something…” Lee only stared.

“Lee, we should sing together!” claimed Gai quite suddenly, and most of the crowd groaned.

Lee's reply was a quick salute. “Yes, Master Gai! Let us sing!”

“Great, not another stupid song…” said Kankuro dully.

{Wanna Be Like You}

Lee: Now I am the king of the swingers.
Oh, the jungle VIP!
I have reached the top and had to stop,
And that is what is bothering me!
I want to be a man, Sensei,
And stroll right into town!
And be just like the other men,
I am tired of monkeying around!

Lee: Oh, oobee doo!

ANBU Members: Oopdee-doo!
Lee: I want to be like you!

ANBU Members: Shaa-be-doo-bee-do-daa!
Lee: I want to walk like you,
Talk like you, too!
You will see it is true,
That someone like me,
Can learn to be human, too!

Gaara: … Lee, you already are human.

Gai: Don't interupt him!

Tenten: Gee, cousin Lee,
You're doing real good!
Lee: Now here is your part of the deal, Sensei!
Lay the secret on me of the Primary Lotus!
Gai: But, you already know it…

Lee: Now, do not try to kid me, Teacher!
I made a deal with you!
What I desire is that cool pink flower,
To make my dream come true!
Give me the secret, Sensei!
Clue me what to do!
Give me the power of that pink flower,
So I can be like you!

Lee: You!

ANBU Members: Oopdee-doo!
Lee: I want to be like you!

ANBU Members: Shaa-be-doo-bee-do-daa!
Lee: I want to talk like you,
Walk like you, too!
You will see it is true,
Someone like me,

Gai: Can learn to be,
Like someone like me!
Gai: Can learn to be,
Like someone like you!

Lee: Take it home, Sensei!
Gai: Can learn to be…
Like someone like meeeee!

Bap-shoo-da-ba-doop-in-daa… daa… oh, it's over already?

{End}

“WOW!” Gai boomed, “I feel great! Awesome suggestion, Gaara!”

“… I shouldn't have said anything…”

Itachi frowned again. “Bunch of shit.”

“EEP!”

“What's the matter, Iruka? I didn't touch you… All right, who touched my boy?!” Kakashi's eye darted about suspiciously.

Iruka rolled his own orbs, “That wasn't me.”

“AAHH!!!” Naruto cried out again. “The magical rock-thing… it's gone! And it was my newest shiny thing, too! WHAAAAAAAAH!!!”

“…Shiny thing???” Itachi repeated.

“… It's not gone…” Gaara retorted coolly.

Orochimaru glared at the Kazekage, “Then where is it?!”

“Here…” Gaara opened his hand, and sure enough, the stone was in his hold.

Naruto sputtered in shock, “Hey! How'd you do that?!”

“I took it from you while you were watching Gai sing a few moments ago.”

“W-why?!”

“Because the snake-boy's minion there was trying to steal it.”

“S-snake-boy?!” Orochimaru hissed in outrage.

Kabuto, standing a few inches behind Naruto, went rather pale, “N-no, I wasn't!”

“Damn Sound morons!” Kankuro snorted, “As if they could trick Gaara!”

The young Kazekage blinked, then stared off into space… or what had been space a second before.

“KABUTO!!!” Dosu snarled, “YOU LET THIS DESERT RAT KILL ME, YOU TREACHEROUS WORM!!!”

“Hey… My arms are still screwed up…” Zaku frowned.

“… Why did I think about them?” Gaara seemed mildly taken aback.

Lee nodded, “That is odd, considering how completely unimportant those two were in life…”

“HEY!!!”

{??? Mystery- Squistery!!! - Author 2}

Zaku, Kabuto, Dosu: You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life!
See that man, watch that scene; dig in the dancing king!

Gaara: Why… why did I have to make them appear…?

Kabuto: Friday night and the lights are low,
Zaku: Looking out for the place to go,
Kabuto: Where they play the right music, getting in the swing!
Zaku: You come in to look for a king!
Kabuto: Anybody could be that guy!
Dosu: Night is young and the music's high!
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine!
Zaku: You're in the mood for a dance,
And when you get the chance...

Dosu: I am the dancing king, young and sweet, only seventeen!

Choji: You… you're only 17?!

Dosu: Dancing king; feel the beat from the tambourine!
Zaku and Kabuto: You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life!
See that man, watch that scene; dig in the dancing king!

Kabuto: You're a teaser, you turn `em on!
Leave them burning and then you're gone,
Dosu: Looking out for another, anyone will do!
I'm in the mood for a dance,
And when I get the chance...

Dosu: I am the dancing king, young and sweet, only seventeen!
Dancing king; feel the beat from the tambourine!
Zaku and Kabuto: You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life!
See that man, watch that scene; dig in the dancing king!

{End}

“… What… the… fucking… hell… is wrong with you people?!?!” Itachi screamed, then abruptly grabbed at his chest, his eyes wide… “C-can't… breath…!!!!” The Uchiha collapsed, hyperventilating.

“It kind of sucks when you're dead…” Dosu blinked.

“… I wasn't dead,” retorted Zaku. “No one ever said I was dead. They just assumed I was because my arms blew off.”

“Do not insult the dead,” said Lee in an over-dramatic tone of voice.

“… What the hell are you going on about?” the sound ninja reply dully as he gave Lee a roll of the eyes. “I wasn't insulting anyone. If anyone should feel insulted by it, it should be me.”

“For your information-”

“Lee… drop it.”

“… I am sorry, Gaara-san.”

Then Shikamaru spoke up. “… I have the sudden urge to walk in circles.”

Choji frowned, “Dude, the mushrooms…”

“Dude… That sounds kind of fun at the moment…” Zaku agreed… and then began to do so.

{Circles}

Zaku: When you were languishing in rooms I built to foul you in,
And when the wind set down in funnel form and pulled you in.

Zaku: I don't need to walk around in circles.
Dosu and Kabuto: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…
Don't need to walk around in circles.
Dosu and Kabuto: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…

Shikamaru: Walk around in circles… Walk around in circles…

Zaku: When the ghostly dust of violence traces everything,
Orochimaru: And when the gas runs out, just wreck it, you insured the thing.

Zaku: I don't need to walk around in circles.
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…
Don't need to walk around in circles
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…

Dosu: Doom da doom da doom.
Zaku: Well, I know what I'm doing.
Kabuto: Doom da doom da doom.
Zaku: Well, I know what I'm doing.
Dosu: Doom da doom da doom.
Zaku: Well, I know what I'm doing.
Kabuto: Doom da doom da doom.
Zaku: Well, I know what I'm doing.

Shikamaru: Doom da doom da doom. Doom da doom da doom.

Zaku: But I can't sigh now that you made the move.
Orochimaru: It has gone and gone to dogs, lay down on the floor.
Zaku: For the right price I can get everything.
Orochimaru: Slip into the car, go driving to the farthest star…

Zaku: I don't need to walk around in circles.
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…
Don't need to walk around in circles
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…

I don't need to walk around in circles.
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…
Don't need to walk around in circles
Dosu, Kabuto, and Orochimaru: Walk around in circles,
Walk around in circles.
Zaku: Walk around in…

{End}

“… Ah, Kabuto,” purred the snake-like sannin, “you and I sound lovely together.”

The sound ninja blinked in question. “We do?”

“Two peas in a pod,” nodded Orochimaru.

There was a moment of silence.

“… Lord Orochimaru?”

“Hmm, what is it, Kabuto?”

“… Do you really mean that?”

“Of course…”

{Incomplete}

Kabuto seems a bit gloomy as he walks to the middle of the room with a sigh.

Kabuto: Empty spaces fill me up with holes…
Distant faces with no place left to go…
Without you, within me I can't find no rest.
Where I'm going is anybody's guess.

Kabuto: I've tried to go on like I never knew you.
I'm awake but my world is half-asleep.
I pray for this heart to be unbroken,
But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete…

Kabuto: Voices tell me I should carry on,
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone.
Orochimaru: Baby, my baby,
It's written on your face.
You still wonder if we made a big mistake…

Kabuto and Orochimaru: I've tried to go on like I never knew you…
I'm awake but my world is half-asleep.
I pray for this heart to be unbroken,
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete…

Kabuto: I don't mean to drag it on…
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone

Kabuto: I wanna let you go…

Kabuto and Orochimaru: I've tried to go on like I never knew you…
I'm awake but my world is half-asleep.
I pray for this heart to be unbroken,
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete…

Kabuto: Incomplete…

{End}

As the “tragic” song ended, Iruka came stumbling and scrambling out of his room, eyes wide as he tied his shirt around his waist to cover himself. He looked severely flustered.

“… Welcome back,” said Ibiki with a smirk.

The chuunin gasped for air as he crawled away from the door, body drenched in sweat. “Gahh… haa… hhaarrRRGG! I swear, I'm going to teach him a lesson some day! I'll have my revenge ye-ARGH!!”

Kakashi had come out of the room as well, although unlike Iruka, he didn't bother to clothe himself at all. He strode into the room like nothing was wrong, and then slipped an arm around Iruka's waist and hoisted him onto his shoulder. This made it so everyone had a very nice view of the other's rear.

“Sorry about that,” smiled Kakashi innocently. “He tends to escape at the most unnecessary times.”

And with that, he turned about face and marched right back into the room again. Everyone stared as they heard Iruka cry, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” and then winced at the grunts that followed.

“… That was… disturbing,” muttered Gaara.

Lee shuddered. “That was even worse than what we heard earlier.”

Everyone stared at them.

“Ah…” Gaara sweat-dropped and elbowed the leaf ninja sharply, “… What are you talking about? We didn't hear anything earlier. Must have been your head.”

“But do you not remember? We heard-”

“Shush!!” hissed the other.

“But-”

“PSSSHBTBT!!”

“… Ok.”

Meanwhile, Orochimaru and Kabuto were still staring at one another in a strange manner, neither one of them bothering to say anything for quite some time. They seemed to quickly glance at Iruka as he came out, blinked as Kakashi dragged him away, and then went back to staring once the chuunin screamed again.

“…” Kabuto blinked. “… Sadness.”

“Yes…” replied the other in a very depressed tone. “Grief…”

“So… what did you think about that?”

“About that display of nudity?”

“No… I meant my song…”

{Downfall}

Orochimaru sighs here and turns his head away before casting it up at the ceiling.

Orochimaru: I wonder how you sleep.
I wonder what you think - of me.
If I could go back,
Would you have ever been with me?
I want you to be un-eased.
I want you to remember.
I want you to believe in me.
I want you on my side…

Orochimaru: Come on and lay it down!
I've always been with you.
Here and now… give all that's within you.
Be my savior… and I'll be your downfall.
Whoa, whoa, whoa…

Orochimaru: Here we go again.
Ashamed of being broken in.
We're getting off track,
And I want to get you back again.
I want you to trouble me.
I wanted you to linger.
I want you to agree with me.
I want so much, so bad.

Orochimaru: Come on and lay it down!
I've always been with you.
Here and now… give all that's within you.
Be my savior… and I'll be your downfall.
Whoa, whoa, whoa…

Orochimaru: You'll be my savior…

Sound Ninja and Kabuto: Only love can save us now…
Orochimaru: Love save me now…
Sound Ninja and Kabuto: Only love can save us now…
Orochimaru: I'll be your downfall.
All: Our love can save us now…. Oh-oh!
Love; save me now!

Orochimaru: Lay it down…
I've always been with you, here and now.
With all that's within you,
All: Be my savior…
Orochimaru: And I'll be your downfall…

Whoa, whoa, whoa…

Orochimaru: Now I'm back on my own.
Yeah, my feet are heavy, made of stone.
And I'll make you go where I go.
Well, they're here, so can I take you home…
And I'm coming home, on my back,
Kissing me, your lips painted black.
Saying whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I'll be your downfall…
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Let me be your downfall, baby…

{Fades}

They stared at each other again.

“EXACTLY!!!!” Everyone turned to see Anko pointing her finger at them, bloody murder on her face. “KABUTO!!! HE WILL USE YOU AND THROW YOU AWAY BECAUSE HE ONLY LOVES HIMSELF!!!!!!!!”

“I do not!” Orochimaru snapped at her, “I just hated your guts, that's all.”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF, I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU'D NEVER BEEN BORN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“HOW?!” Orochimaru shouted above her screams, “I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!”

Everyone save for Anko, Kabuto, and Orochimaru ran to the far side of the room, covering their ears. Gaara had encased his and Lee's in sand.

{Fighter}

Anko: Hmm… After all you put me through, you'd think I'd despise you… but in the end, I want to thank you, `cause you made me that much stronger…

Anko: Well, I… thought I knew you,
Thinking… that you were true…
I guess I… I couldn't trust,
'Cause your bluff time is up,
'Cause I've had enough!

Anko and ANBU Chicks: You were…

Anko: There by my side;
Always… down for the ride,
But your… joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm!

Anko: After all of the stealing and cheating,
You probably think that I hold resentment for you, but,

Anko and ANBU Chicks: Uh uh,

Anko: Oh no,

Anko and ANBU Chicks: You're wrong!
Anko: `Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do,
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through!
So I wanna say thank you-

Anko and ANBU Chicks: `Cause it makes me that much stronger,
Makes me work a little bit harder,
It makes me that much wiser,
So thanks for making me a fighter!
Made me learn a little bit faster,
Made my skin a little bit thicker,
Makes me that much smarter,
So thanks for making me a fighter!

ANBU Chicks: Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Anko: Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh…

Anko: Never-

Anko and ANBU Chicks: Saw it coming-
Anko: All of… your backstabbing,
Just so… you could cash in,
On a good thing before I-

Anko and ANBU Chicks: Realized your game!
I heard…

Anko: You're going around,
Playing… the victim now,
But don't…

Anko and ANBU Chicks: Even begin,
Feeling I'm the one to blame,
Anko: `Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh!

Anko: After all of the fights and the lies,
Guess you're wanting to harm me but that won't work anymore!
Anko and ANBU Chicks: No more,

Anko: Oh no,

Anko and ANBU Chicks: It's over!
Anko: `Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture,
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down,
So I wanna say thank you-

Anko charges at Orochimaru with a screech, but is grabbed by several ANBU Members, put in a straight jacket, and dragged away, foaming at the mouth.

{END!!!}

“… Uh… Lord Orochimaru?”

“Y-yes… Kabuto?”

“Why are you hugging the wall?”

“B-because rabid, tone-deaf, screaming wenches scare me…”

On cue, a scream, or more like a dragged-out, lust-filled howl, sounded from Kakashi and Iruka's room.

“….” The main room became awkwardly silent.

“I want out of this building… now…” growled Itachi, walking over to stare out the window with Shikamaru. Many others did the same.

Lee sighed. “Sure is nice outside.”

“The grass is greener than usual…” Ibiki nodded in agreement.

“Clouuuuddss….” moaned Shikamaru.

Choji shook a fist at the lazy boy. “Damn it, Shikamaru! No more mushrooms!”

“…” Shikamaru didn't reply.

Then, from somewhere in the crowd, a stomach growled.

“… I'm hungry,” whined Konohamaru.

Inari gulped. “Me too…”

“Well, there is a kitchen there,” Dosu pointed over to one of the doors.

“Hey, Ibiki?” Kakashi poked his head out from behind the door. “Could you get some of the pudding from the refrigerator?”

“… What do you need pudding for?” asked Temari.

“We don't need to know the answer to that,” Sasuke growled, casting the female a sharp glare that silenced her instantly.

Ibiki shrugged before walking into the kitchen, while Kakashi looked behind him somewhere and sighed, “Iruka, stop moving around so much. You're just making it worse…”

“…………”

“Yes, I know it does. That's why it's called a vibrator.”

All of the characters froze.

“… Yeeeesss, I already know that, too. Just stop moving and you won't make such a big mess.”

“…………”

“The pudding will help.”
That comment even made Itachi turn green.

“How the hell is pudding going to help?” he growled, raising a hand to his forehead.

Kakashi grinned as he turned to smirk at the criminal. “You wanna find out?”

“No thanks…” Itachi turned away immediately, nearly vomiting.

“Awww, no fun for you then. Too bad,” the copy ninja shrugged and accepted the pudding when Ibiki came back, waving at them all before closing the door again.

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”

“MWAHAHAA!!!!!!”

Silence…

Gai coughed.

“I'm still hungry,” Konohamaru said.

“Grandpa, how is pudding supposed to help?” Inari questioned as he looked up at the old man.

Tazuna smiled. “Pudding is great for afternoon tea time.”

“Tea! I love tea, especially Mom's tea! I want some!” the grandson began to head for Kakashi's room, but luckily Sakura and Tenten pulled him away.

“No, it's… a very yucky tea.” Sakura shuddered.

“I like milk in my tea,” said Tazuna dreamily.

Temari grimaced. “Gaara, hit him again… please?”

“Sure.”

WHACK!

Tazuna dropped like a stone.

“So… what's for dinner?”

“NO RAMEN!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN `NO RAMEN!'”

“Shut up, Naruto.” Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Dosu and Zaku had vanished, and the group was sitting in a circle on the ground once more at Lee's suggestion, the original idea being that they could pass food around. The problem was that no one seemed to trust anyone with the food preparation, convinced that they would be poisoned. So they each took turns in small groups getting their own food.

Unfortunately, Naruto discovered that the kitchen did not have ramen in ANY of its cupboards, drawers, or shelves.

“NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!! Can't live… without… beloved… ramen!!!”

Shino blinked, “Can't you eat something else?”

“No, actually…” Jiraiya answered. “Somehow, the boy has eaten so much ramen that it has altered his genetic structure. He can't live without it. If he doesn't get ramen at least once a week, he… well, let's just say it's not pretty.”

“Oh, well! Too bad!” Orochimaru commented cheerfully, “Kabuto, your cooking is superb!”

“Thank you, my lord.”

“Man, that Anko chick was really out there…” Shikamaru swayed dreamily as he munched on what appeared to be… mushrooms…

Orochimaru frowned, “I'd thought I'd gotten rid of her years ago…”

“Yeah… she was really… wild…” Choji shuddered.

“Pppsshaaww!” Kiba waved his hand, Akamaru yapping, “That's nothing! You should come to my place sometime and my family will show you the meaning of the word `wild!'”

Choji's eyes widened, “No… you're insane!”

“TAKE THAT BACK, FATTIE!!!”

“EEP!”

“WILD THINGS ARE COOL!!” Kiba roared, “I'M COOLER THAN ANY OF YOU LOSERS!!”

Shino growled, “Here we go again…”

Hinata sighed.

{Born to be Wild}

Kiba performs his trademark jutsu (Beast Mimicry: Man-Beast Clones) with Akamaru, and the two of them merge their powers…

Kiba: Get your motor running!
Head out on the highway!
Looking for adventure…
And whatever comes our way!

Kabuto: So he does this often?

Shino: You have no idea…

Kiba: Yeah, darling, go and make it happen!
Take the world in a love embrace!
Fire all of your guns at once and…
Explode into space!

Kiba: Take it, Akamaru!

Akamaru: I like smoke and lightening!
Heavy metal thunder!
Racing with the wind,
And the feeling that I'm under!

Akamaru: Yeah, darling, go and make it happen!
Take the world in a love embrace!
Fire all of your guns at once…
And explode into space!

Kiba and Akamaru: Like a true nature's child,
We were born, born to be wild!
We can climb so high!
I never wanna die!

Kiba and Akamaru: Born to be wild!
Born to be wild!

Temari: I like this.

Kankuro: Nice beat.

Gaara: … Yes…

Akamaru: Get your motor running!
Head out on the highway!
Looking for adventure…
And whatever comes our way!

Akamaru: Take it, Kiba!

Kiba: Yeah, darling, go and make it happen!
Take the world in a love embrace!
Fire all of your guns at once and …
Explode into space!

Kiba and Akamaru: Like a true nature's child,
We were born, born to be wild!
We can climb so high!
I never wanna die!

Kiba and Akamaru: Born to be wild!
Born to be wild!

{Fades}

The sand siblings seemed to be having a good time, although most of the others had already left to go back into the main room with their food. Lee was the only leaf ninja to remain in the kitchen with Kiba, mainly for Gaara's sake.

“Kiba, your food is getting cold!” stated Lee before heading out with Gaara. A few seconds after they had left, the sad sobbing of Gai could be heard.

Kiba growled…

“Woof?”

“I think that the freaks from the desert liked it, at least…” he replied.

“Whine…”

“Well, I thought we were awesome!”

“Bark!”

Naruto poked at his food as he sat against the wall, a sad frown on his face as he stared at the plate. “This is dumb…”

No one seemed to notice him, or care.

“… I want ramen.”

Again, no one seemed to care.

{Meanwhile}

{Here's the abridged version…}

“It's COLD!!!”

“Mhm…”

“KAKASHI!! … You lazy bastard…”

“Lazy bastard am I. I is bastard lazy! Pudding, pudding, yum yum!”

“ARGLE BARGLE!!”

{Here's the real one…}

“*Sob* *sob* *whimper*…”

“Oh hush, love. You make too much noise for your own good.” Kakashi licked his finger and cleaned the pudding from it, seeming to be enthralled by its taste.

Iruka cast him a glare. “Easy for you to say. You're not the one who's tied up.”

“That's because I don't wiggle around so much.”

“Grrr…”

The copy ninja sighed as he stared into the now empty pudding cup.

“… Kakashi, my body is feeling very cold. Would you mind cleaning me up?”

“… Nah.”

“But the pudding is COLD!”

“So? Deal with it.”

“WHY YOU-”

“Shhh, shh… there are little children out there. We don't want them coming in on us.”

“Then why didn't you lock the door?!”

“… I didn't feel like it.”

“… You lazy bastard.”

“Lazy bastard is me… Me is bastard lazy… pudding, pudding, yum, yum…”

“Kakashi, shut up.”

“Hmm, mm…. Tasty tasty… Yum yum…”

“I said shut up!”

“I'm hungry.”

“What…?”

“I'll be back in a bit. I need something to eat.”

“E-excuse me? Are you just going to leave me here… like this?”

“Why not? I'll bring you back something after I'm done.”

“Kakashi!!”

“I can get some more pudding while I'm at it. We might be doing this for a while.”

“WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GETS IT?!”

“… Well, for one, you're the uke. Two, you're younger than me. Three… you look hot covered in pudding. It matches your hair color.”

“……..”

“Ok, be back in a bit.”

“H-hey! Kakashi, wai-…. Damn it… *sob*…”

{Meanwhile … That's… odd, Author 1. - Author 2}

“Hey, I've got a song!” said Inari with a smile, setting his bowl on the floor. “It's a really good one, too!”

“… More songs?” Shino voiced.

“It's a song about nuts!” replied the kid.

Jiraiya grinned at that. “Ooh… What kind of nuts?”

Tsunade smacked him over the head.

“No, just nuts in general, like pecans and that stuff.”

“Oh, I think I know that song!” Konohamaru jumped up from his spot. “Nutz, Nutz!”

“Yeah!” Inari got up, too.

“Let's do it!”

{Nutz, Nutz! No, this isn't a real song; it's a verse thingie. - Author 1. Thingie! Yay! - Author 2}

Inari: Nutz!

Konohamaru: Nutz!

Inari: I like nutz! I like almonds too!

Konohamaru: Peanuts drive me crazy!

Inari: Crazy?

Konohamaru: I was crazy once.

Inari: They locked me in a paddock, and I liked it there, so I died there.

Konohamaru: They buried me where the flowers grew!

Inari: One grew up!

Konohamaru: One grew down!

Inari: One even tickled my nose; it drove me nutz!

Konohamaru: Nutz!

Inari: I like nutz! I like almonds too!

Konohamaru: Peanuts drive me crazy!

Inari: Crazy?

Konohamaru: I was crazy once.

Inari: They locked me in a paddock, and I liked it there, so I died there.

Konohamaru: They buried me where the flowers grew!

Inari: One grew up!

Konohamaru: One grew down!

Inari: One even tickled my nose; it drove me nutz!

Konohamaru: Nutz!

Inari: I like nutz! I like almonds too!

Konohamaru: Peanuts drive me crazy!

Inari: Crazy?

Konohamaru: I was crazy once.

Inari: They locked me in a padd-BLECH!

{End… yay…}

Inari was kicked off the end of Orochimaru's sword as the sannin grumbled, motioning for Kabuto before using the other's shoulder to wipe off the blood. “Thank you, Kabuto.”

“… Yes, my lord.”

Then Orochimaru twirled the halberd in his hand again, raising it up once before striking Konohamaru through the head and out the other end. He really didn't seem to be affected as… well… yeah…

He wiped his sword off on Kabuto again. “Thank you, Kabuto.”

“… You're welcome, Lord Orochimaru.”

Sakura went very pale, “W-what did you do that for? You could have just asked them to stop!”

“… Since when have I ever asked anyone nicely to do ANYTHING?” Orochimaru retorted with a devious smirk.

“Well, there was that one time-“

“Silence, Kabuto.”

“Yes, my lord…”

“Anyway, they were beginning to annoy me. They needed to die,” As soon as Orochimaru sheathed his sword, he was suddenly glomped by a “special” jonin.

“THANK YOUUUU!!!” cried Ebisu, crying as he clung to the man like he was about to die.

“Eaach!! Kabuto!! Get this monstrosity off of me, right now!”

“Yes, Lord Orochimaru.” Kabuto took Ebisu by the collar of his shirt and yanked him off swiftly, shaking the man a bit before chucking him in a random direction.

“AUGH!! WATCH IT!!” Naruto yelped as Ebisu landed on him, banging his head on the floor and getting effectively knocked out.

Then Kakashi came out of the bedroom, this time fully clothed, and he merrily waved at the group. The man seemed so blissfully unaware of the situation that he even tripped on Inari's corpse, stumbling a bit before regaining his composure and hurrying into the kitchen with an embarrassed flush.

“… Will you shut the hell up?” Gaara hissed as he opened his eyes from a short nap. “… You freaks are so loud that I-… Blood…” his eyes went unfocused and misty.

“Oh no…” groaned Kankuro before running into one of the bedrooms. He then came scrambling back out, white-faced and wide-eyed as he went to the one next door. “SORRY ABOUT THAT!!”

“!)&*$#!(&%!@&^(#!&#$&!!!” came Iruka's voice, although it was indistinguishable.

Temari sweat-dropped. “Poor Kankuro…”

The youngest of the sand siblings strode over to the room Kankuro had vanished into, pulling the door open with a grunt before peering inside. “Kankuro, get back out here. I need some help.”

“………..”

“No, I'm not going to kill anyone… Regrettably.”

“…”

Gaara narrowed his eyes, then went into the bedroom. He came back out after a few moments, dragging a whimpering Kankuro with him.

“We need to sing about something so I don't kill anyone…”

“Uh… ok…”

{Another One Bites the Dust}

Gaara: Lee walks warily down the street,
With the brim pulled way down low…
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,
Kunai knives ready to go!

Lee: He's singing about me! YAY!!!!!

Gai: WWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Kankuro: Are you ready, hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway the daggers rip,
To the sound of the beat!

Temari is head banging with her brothers while playing her guitar.

Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Another one bites the dust!
Kankuro: And another one's gone, and another one's gone!
Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Gaara: Hey, I'm gonna get you, too!
Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!

Gaara: How do you think I'm going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone?!
You took me for everything that I had,
And kicked me out on my own!

Kankuro: Are you happy, are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the daggers rip,
To the sound of the beat!

Kiba: This song is awesome!

Sakura: They're so loud…

All: Shut up!

Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Another one bites the dust!
Kankuro: And another one's gone, and another one's gone!
Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Gaara: Hey, I'm gonna get you, too!
Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!

Gaara: Another one bites the dust!
Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Gaara and Kankuro: Another one bites the dust!
Another one bites the dust!

Gaara: There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man,
And bring him to the ground!
You can beat him!

Kankuro: You can cheat him!
You can treat him bad and leave him,
When he's down!

Gaara: But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you!
I'm standing on my own two feet!
Kankuro: Out of the doorway the daggers rip,
Repeating the sound of the beat!

{End}

Several of the others had worked together to mop up the remains while the siblings rocked out, and now there was no sign of the bodies of Ino, Inari, and Konohamaru. Even the `pizza' had vanished.

“A-are you all right, Gaara-san?” Lee asked.

The Kazekage looked about for a moment, “… Fine.”

The group collectively sighed in relief, save for Lee, who said, “Oh, good!” and Gai, who wept bitterly on the floor.

“… I'm tired,” the sand siblings announced simultaneously.

Tenten grinned. “Oh, there's the family resemblance! I see it now!”

“Shut up!” they snapped. Tenten went rather pale.

“Temari…”

“Huh?” Temari blinked, “What, Gaara?”

“Sing…”

Her eyes widened, “What? No!”

“…” Gaara stared at her.

“I… uh… I mean, sure, Gaara… sure.”

{Blowing in the Wind}

Temari sits down, fiddles a little with her guitar, and begins to play.

Temari: How many roads must a man walk down,
Before you call him a man?
Yes and how many seas must a white dove sail,
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes and how many times must the fireballs fly,
Before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

Neji suddenly pulls out a harmonica and plays with her. Everyone stares.

Temari: How many times must a man look up,
Before he can see the sky?
Yes and how many ears must one man have,
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes and how many deaths will it take till he knows,
That too many people have died?

Gaara: … What?

Temari: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

Temari: How many years can a mountain exist,
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, and how many years can some people exist,
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, and how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending that he just doesn't see?

Gai: *Sob* *sob…*

Temari: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

{End}

“Can I go to sleep now?” Temari asked glumly.

Gaara gazed at her curiously, “Why are you asking me?”

Temari rolled her eyes, “I'm going to bed.”

There was a general chorus of `me, too's following this, and everyone left, save for Shikamaru, who was still staring out the window, and Gai, who still wept on the floor.

{Meanwhile}

“Do we HAVE to share a room?” Kiba growled.

“Stop complaining!” Naruto snapped, “At least you got to eat what you wanted!”

Shino sighed, “Please, guys, it's been… it's been…”

{??? Gotta love mysteries… I like the old British ones best… speaking of which… - Author 2}

A guitar strums…

Naruto and Kiba: ???

Shino: It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog!

Akamaru: Grrrr…

Shino: It's been a hard day's night; I should be sleeping like a log!
Shino, Kiba, and Naruto: But when I get home to you I find the things that you do,
Shino: Will make me feel all right!

Shino: You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things,

And it's worth it just to hear you say you're gonna give me everything!
Shino, Kiba, and Naruto: So why I love to come home, `cause when I get you alone,
Shino: You know I feel ok!

Kiba and Naruto: When I'm home, everything seems to be right!
When I'm home, feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah!

*Kiba and Naruto then exchange looks of absolute horror and disgust. *

Shino: It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog! *Woof!*
It's been a hard day's night; I should be sleeping like a log!
Shino, Kiba, and Naruto: But when I get home to you, I find the things that you do,
Shino: Will make me feel all right!
Owwww!

Someone… plays a guitar solo…

Shino, Kiba, and Naruto: So why I love to come home, `cause when I get you alone,
Shino: You know I feel ok!

Kiba and Naruto: When I'm home, everything seems to be right!
When I'm home, feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah!

Shino: It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog! *Bark!*
It's been a hard day's night; I should be sleeping like a log!
Shino, Kiba, and Naruto: But when I get home to you I find the things that you do,
Shino: Will make me feel all right!
You know I feel all right!
You know I feel all right!

{Fades}

“… That was… weird…” Naruto went pale.

“Now then,” Shino smirked underneath his coat, “Good night!”

“Woof?”

Kiba sighed, “Yes, you have a great voice.”

“Arf!”

{Meanwhile}

Shikamaru recovered from a trip only to find that he'd run out of mushrooms.

“Crap…” he hissed, “Now I have to go find more… what a pain…”

There was a pause as the ninja looked about lazily, casting his eyes around the room until he spotted the window.

“Bingo…”

After a few minutes, Shikamaru had hopped out of the window and onto the ground below, which wasn't very far down. He stared around in a bored manner before walking down the road and into the forest.

{Boulevard of Broken Dreams}

Shikamaru: I walk a lonely road…
The only one that I have ever known!
Don't know where it goes,
But it's home to me and I walk alone!

Shikamaru: I walk this empty street,
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,
Where the city sleeps,
And I'm the only one and I walk alone!

Shikamaru: I walk alone, I walk alone.
I walk alone, I walk a...

Shikamaru: My shadow's the only one that walks beside me!
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating!
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me!
Till then I walk alone!

Shikamaru: Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah- oh, mushrooms!
Mush-rooms, mush-rooms, mush-rooms…

Shikamaru: I'm walking down the line,
That divides me somewhere in my mind.
On the borderline,
Of the edge and where I walk alone.

Shikamaru: Read between the lines!
What's fucked up and everything's all right.
Check my vital signs,
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone!

Shikamaru: I walk alone, I walk alone.
I walk alone, I walk a...

Shikamaru: My shadow's the only one that walks beside me!
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating!
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me!
Till then I walk alone!

Shikamaru: Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah- Oh, my bag's full. Guess I should start heading back…
Ah-ah, Ah-ah…
I walk alone, I walk a...

Shikamaru: I walk this empty street,
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams,
Where the city sleeps,
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

Shikamaru: My shadow's the only one that walks beside me!
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating!
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me!
Till then I walk alone!

{End}

{Meanwhile}

{For those of you who have squeamish stomachs, here is the abridged version of the following scene:}

“DISCOVERY CHANNEL!”

“AHHH!”

“Pudding!”

“AHHH!”

“STRAWBERRIES AND WHIPPED CREAM!”

“ARGGGG!!”

“… And gummi worms!”

“ARGLE BARGLE!!”

“Clean up time!”

“ARGLE BARGLE!!!!!!!”

“Mwahaha.”

“*Sob* *sob*.”

{Here's the real version…}

“Did you have to take so long?” Iruka growled as he looked at the jonin that was licking his spoon for him as he fed the other. It was obvious Kakashi wasn't going to risk untying Iruka for the fear he might get up and splatter pudding everywhere. Plus… he liked feeding the chuunin.

“There were dead people everywhere,” commented the man with a smile. “I even tripped on one!”

Iruka stared like an idiot. “… Dead people?”

“Oh yeah, lots of them,” replied Kakashi. “Konohamaru was dead…. Man, you should have seen the gap in his head! It was so wide, you could see his brai-“

“Thank you, Kakashi…” Iruka growled as he gave the other a glare.

“Now…” Kakashi mused as he walked to the middle of the room, “I have a song to sing for you.”

There was a pause. “What…. kind of song?”

“A song.”

“… Great.”

{???}

Kakashi smirks as he walks around a bit before saying, “Ha-ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating…”

“W-wait a minute, Kakashi. You're n-not singing what I think you-”

“- … But there are several other very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about.”

“N-no! Please don't sing-”

“I'd appreciate your input.”

“Kaka-”

Kakashi: Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a desert drought!
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about!
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts!
Yes I'm Kakashi, yes I'm Hatake and you're getting two thumbs up!
You've had enough of two-hand touch; you want it rough- you're out of bounds!
I want you smothered, want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns!
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined,
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time!

Iruka: Kakashi! Kakashi! Please, no more! KAKASHI!!

Kakashi: Do it now!
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!

ANBU Member #4: Do it again now!

Kakashi: You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!

ANBU Member #4: Getting horny now!

Iruka: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?! GET THE FUCK OUT!! *The ANBU Member squeaks and runs away.*

Kakashi: Love- the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket!
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only Gods know where we stuck it!
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas!
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means `Small Craft Advisory!'
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship!
Please turn me on, I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip!

Iruka: Kakashiiiiii….

Kakashi: So show me yours, I'll show you mine! `Tool Time!' You'll Lovett, just like Lyle!
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch `X-Files'!

Kakashi: Do it now!
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
Do it again now!
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
Getting horny now!

Kakashi: You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
Do it again now!
You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel!
Do it now!

{End}

“Kakashi, you're not an idiot.”

“Really? You think so?”

“No. You're a moron.”

“… Awww.”

Iruka watched doubtfully as Kakashi played around with the spoon, since he had been using it as a microphone. He seemed to think that maybe… the jonin may have been acting perverted, but he really was trying hard to make him laugh, to forget about the stressful life he lead at the academy. The jabbering of children, the hassle of cleaning up once school was over… it made the chuunin go half-mad, but even as he'd find Kakashi on the windowsill after every session, he seemed to perk up and forget his worries. Kakashi always told him he needed to relax.

The jonin was surprised to see Iruka's face soften, almost to a smile that normally didn't surface at a time like this. His eyes blinked, and even his Sharingan orb seemed puzzled by the other's action. It was something he couldn't read… yet somehow, he knew that Iruka needed him. After Mizuki had betrayed him… after seeing the large wound in the other's back… after discovering the relationship the two had shared together… Kakashi knew that the chuunin was losing himself within all of the traitor's lies. Mizuki had used him, pretended to love him… but then he turned around easily and literally stabbed the one who loved him in the back. Iruka hadn't done anything wrong… and the copy ninja knew that he'd been drowning in despair for the longest time.

Well… Kakashi sighed as he fiddled with the spoon some more. I guess there are some nightmares that never go away…

“Kakashi… I'm kind of hungry. Can I have something to eat now? I've been lying here for the past two hours, covered in pudding.” Iruka tried his best not to smile as he said this, but it didn't really work.

Kakashi smiled as he set the spoon down, picking up a strawberry and popping it into his mouth and being careful not to chew it as he crawled over Iruka, avoiding the pudding as he lowered his mouth onto the others. He then pressed the tip of the strawberry against the chuunin's lips, offering it to his lover with a gentle smile.

The other blinked as he was offered the morsel, nibbling in it before finally accepting it into his own mouth. The two ninja watched each other as Iruka chewed and Kakashi began to repeat the same action, thus feeding the starving chuunin.

After almost all of the strawberries were gone, Kakashi picked up a can of something and began to shake it, turning to Iruka with a gentle smile. “Open your mouth.”

“Wh-” Iruka began to talk, but was stopped as his mouth was suddenly filled with whipped cream. His eyes went large as he choked and sputtered, “Phhhey! Phat phe rell phas phrrrat phror?”

“Whipped cream goes well with strawberries,” said the other with a teasing grin. “It also goes well with pudding.”

Iruka paled as he swallowed. “Kakashi, if you keep eating all of this, you're going to develop Diabetes.”

“Nah, this is the ninja world. People like us don't get that,” retorted the older ninja.

“…. Whatever.” That's what they all say…

Kakashi chuckled to himself as he shook the can again, this time beginning to line parts of the other with the foamy-like substance. At one point, he shook the object once more and squirted it all over Iruka's chest, making the other flush.

“What the hell are you doing, Kakashi?! I'm not an easel!” growled the academy-teacher, giving the copy ninja the best glare he could muster. The silver-haired man just chuckled as he then dotted the chuunin's nubs.

“KAKASHI!!”

“What?”

“I told you, you're making me look like some little kid's art project!” Iruka hissed, writhing a bit against his bonds, but to no avail.

Kakashi beamed. “I think it's beautiful.”

“…. You're an idiot.”

“Awww….”

The two stared at each other for a moment before the older one set the can down, grinning as he picked up a gummi worm and set it on the chuunin's scar, right across his nose. This made Iruka wrinkle it out of slight irritation. “Kakashi, now you're overdoing it.”

“No I'm not,” said the other simply as he grabbed some more gummi worms, sticking them in random places, “I'm just having some fun.”

“… Wait `till this is over, then we'll see how YOU like being tied up and smothered in sugary things.”

“Ooooh, kinky, Iruka.”

“….. Ugh.”

“The question is, can you keep your word to that? I find you to be the kind of person who chickens out on things too easily.”

“You wanna bet, Kakashi?”

“Sure, bets are fun.”

“ARG!”

“Oh, so you're a pirate now?”

“…………… I'm not going to say anything.”

“You just did.”

“AHHHH!!!”

“Don't wake up the kiddies.”

“…”

“That's better.”

The jonin smirked in absolute triumph as he finished what he would call his masterpiece, standing back up to admire his work. “Mmm… Ok, I'll be right back. Nature calls.”

Iruka paled. “Y-you're kidding, right?”

“No, I really have to go.”

“… If you're not back soon, I'm never going to let you in my house again.”

“That's ok. I could just teleport inside.”

“…”

“Ok, be right back!”

“Stupid Kakashi….”

{A While Later….}

“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!”

“I had some problems.”

“… Do I want to know what kind of problems?”

“Do you?”

“… No.”

“Ok, good. They're kind of embarrassing.”

“Gods, Kakashi…” Iruka grumbled before he squeaked at the sudden weight on the bed, looking up into the copy ninja's eyes… which had a hungry, feral look within their depths. He forced his eyes shut as he felt the jonin's tongue gracefully slide up one of his cheeks, lifting the pudding that lay there and taking it inside his mouth with a gentle purr.

“Mmm… chocolate,” smiled Kakashi as he then began to clean off the chuunin's face, gently licking it off in strokes until it was gone. Iruka couldn't help but squirm as the other began to trail down his neck, gasping out as he felt the man suck on parts of his throat, leaving fine red marks. Soon after, his neck was cleaned and his shoulder was devoured next. It seemed that the farther Kakashi got, the faster his swift tongue strokes would become.

“Gahh…” Iruka groaned as the copy ninja reached one of the flushed nubs, taking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue dexterously around it, cleaning it of all the sugar before sucking on it gently and making the chuunin begin to thrash just a bit. “Ka… Kakashi… gods damn it…”

Kakashi smirked as he bit on it before licking his way to the other one, giving it the same treatment as he did to the first. He made sure to clean it well, for he still had a ways to go. The chuunin's abdomen was next, and the brunette had to bite his tongue as the muffled groans came out in more of a hiss through his teeth.

Then the jonin came to the final part… which by now, was very pink underneath all the pudding and whipped cream it had been smothered with. Kakashi had even been kind enough to wrap gummi worms around sections of it.

“Haa… gah… gah-HA!” Iruka couldn't help but cry out as he was fully swallowed, eyes widening as he watched the aroused organ disappear into the other's wet cavern. It even felt better as he felt his tip hit the back of Kakashi's throat, surprised that the other wasn't choking on him the least. Then the jonin began to suck on it, slowly, almost so torturously that it became painful.

“KAKASHI!” wailed the poor flustered brunette as he began to thrash, slightly frustrated at the slow pace the other had going. He could feel it building up quickly, to the point where it was almost unbearable. “Gah… s-stop, wait… I don't… don't…”

“Hmmm?” The purr that vibrated in Kakashi's throat didn't make it any better…

“W-wait, I… I don't want it t-to end so fast… t-too q-quick…”

A slight `pop' sounded as Kakashi released his victim's member, licking his lips and chewing on the gummy candy. “All right, Iruka… if you say so. You're just too old-fashioned for your own good… not that I mind it. Heheh…”

The jonin didn't have to worry about lubing himself up before sliding in gently, for one, the pudding that remained fit the purpose. The brunette's whimpers were less obvious, although this was the first time he had done anything close to this since Mizuki.

“Ka-Kakashi…” Iruka whined as he squirmed around, feeling the pain that was there ebb away slowly, and eventually to the point where he could suggest the other begin a slow tempo, something he could keep up with. “H-hurry…”

“Sheesh, and I thought I was the perverted one,” chuckled the other man as he pulled out slowly and then resheathed himself, grunting as he hit the one spot that made the chuunin squirm in anticipation.

“AAAHH!” Iruka cried as he felt the pace increased; his eyes were blinded by a fascinating white light… he could see stars slowly approaching, and with every passing second, they came closer. He soon began thrashing against his bonds, words incoherent as the jonin pulled out and thrust in, grunting aloud as he too began to see Iruka nearing his end. He had teased the brunette for such a long time that it wouldn't take much to finish him off.

He was right. Iruka came with a startling cry that most likely woke up the whole building, although Kakashi couldn't care less about what the others heard. Right now, it was him and his boy. Just him. Just his brunette…

The tightening of Iruka's inner muscles caused him to gasp out as well, exploding inside of the chuunin just as the other spilled onto his abdomen. The pace began to dull, slowly… but the feeling inside left a warm afterglow; a fuzzy feeling that would leave both of them stunned for hours on end. He knew that this wouldn't be the only time they would do this. They had their whole lifetime now.

“Gah…” Iruka panted heavily as he tried to relax. “Gods, Kakashi…”

The other was panting too. “Heh… you know we're going to have to do this again.”

At first, the other didn't respond, for his pants were still ragged and his heart was beating as fast as it could go without bursting within him. It took a while for him to actually talk. “Ugh… I hate to… say it, but… I think… you're right.”

That definitely made Kakashi smile.

{Meanwhile}

Gaara sat in the collapsed tunnel, his face unreadable. Emerald orbs pierced through the wooden door he stared at, unfocused. There was something in those eyes that had not been there before. Ever since he began walking around with Lee, he had become… different, less hostile than he remembered. In fact, for the first time, as he slept with the boy… he felt… happy…

The leaf ninja he was thinking about just so happened to be on the other side of the door, pressing his ear against it to find out what the Kazekage was doing. Lee soon became aware that the sand ninja was singing… something… The taijutsu specialist blinked and leaned into the wood, hoping to catch the words of the song.

{Losing my Religion}

Gaara: Oh… life… is bigger.
It's bigger than you,
And you are not me.
The lengths that I will go to…
The distance in your eyes…
… Oh no, I've said too much…
I set it up.

Gaara: That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spotlight,
Losing my religion…
Trying to keep up with you,
And I don't know if I can do it…
… Oh no, I've said too much…
I haven't said enough.

Gaara: I thought that I heard you laughing…
Lee: I thought that I heard you sing…
Gaara and Lee: I think I thought I saw you try…

Lee: Every whisper…
Of every waking hour, I am,
Choosing my confessions…
Trying to keep an eye on you,
Like a hurt, lost, and blinded fool, fool…
… Oh no, I have said too much…
I set it up.

Lee: Consider this… Consider this,
The hint of the century.
Consider this,
The slip that brought me,
To my knees… failed.
What if all these fantasies,
Come… flailing around.
Now I have said… too much.

Gaara: I thought that I heard you laughing…
Lee: I thought that I heard you sing…
Gaara and Lee: I think I thought I saw you try…

Gaara: But that was just a dream…
That was just a dream!

Gaara: That's me in the corner!

That's me in the spotlight,

Losing my religion!

Trying to keep up with you,
And I don't know if I can do it.
… Oh no, I've said too much…
I haven't said enough!

Gaara: I thought that I heard you laughing…

Lee: I thought that I heard you sing…

Gaara and Lee: I think I thought I saw you try…

Gaara and Lee: But that was just a dream…

Lee: Try, cry, fly, try…

Gaara: That was just a dream,

Just a dream,

Dream…

{End}

Lee didn't move, afraid to breathe. He felt as if something was pressing down on his chest.

Gaara leaned back, lost in thought, his eyes shut. Neither of them seemed capable of any more movement.

“… Lee…” Lee started in shock. He heard a sigh. “You might as well come in; I can see you.” The taijutsu specialist blinked, then shook off the odd feeling that had crept over him and entered.

“… How did… you do that?” he frowned.

“My sand,” Gaara hadn't yet stirred. “I can see through it using a certain jutsu.”

Lee turned about just in time to see a small orb of sand break apart into individual grains and race towards the Kazekage. “I did not know you could do that…”

“It's not an ability I use often.”

They did not speak for some time, but a lusty scream did break the silence.

“…”

“Do… do you want… to be alone?” Lee asked, taking a step back.

Leaving… leaving… as he left…

“…No.” The leaf ninja's eyes widened… Gaara… was upset… “… Don't go…”

Lee didn't even think; there was nothing to think about. He strode to Gaara and knelt, pulling him into his arms.

“Ah… ha…haha… hmmm…” The Kazekage shook uncontrollably with what at first sounded like quiet laughter. “… ah… aaahhh….”

Lee stroked Gaara's fiery hair as he murmured softly, “It is all right; I will stay with you… Shhhh…”

“Aaaahhhaah…” Gaara sobbed, clinging to Lee like his life, “H-hurts…”

“Shhhhh.”

{End of Part 2 … *Sob…* It's so sad… - Author 2 … What are you talking about? It's perfectly happy… yeah, I was just kidding… -Author 1 … You are so cold-hearted! Perv! - Author 2}