Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Neji Over-Angsts Some More ❯ Some More Depressing Poetry ( Chapter 2 )

Author: renuus
Warning: Major everybody OOC, and making fun of angsting
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, sorry to disappoint you…

 

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Neji Over-Angsts Some More
Ch2: Some More Depressing Poetry

 

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I'm sitting at a table, sipping my cafe latte, at a Depressing Poetry Contest, when all-of-a-sudden, that... BASTARD Uchiha gets called up to the stage!!

 

I would have unleashed a Gentle Fist on everybody right then and there if it hadn't been for my image. Sometimes this 'strong, silent type' image just... annoys me. I maybe could switch to the 'evil, crazy type', but Gaara was just go all Shakuku on me.

 

...Gah...

 

So I'm glaring at Uchiha all the while he's walking up to the stage and stands at the microphone. He clears his throat, and begins his poem.

 

"I'm sad.

 

Everybody I love is dead."

 

There's a brief moment of silence in which I'm thinking that Sasuke will go on, but... no. Apparently that's the end. And everyone just... claps.

 

What the hell?! They're clapping!! And yelling 'Woo!' Argh!! And did someone just throw a rose onstage?!

 

I'm seriously mad now. 'Looks calm, but really is ready to decapitate anyone who comes near' type mad. I take out the stress ball from my pocket, which is where I always keep it in case of these kinds of emergencies, because if I made a scene, I would be punted from angsty, to just plain sad. D'oh.

 

I'm thinking how much it would lower my angsting status if I threw my coffee mug at Sasuke's head, when I hear my name being called.

 

"HYUUGA NEJI," the judge mumbles into the microphone, "is next, but seeing as how good Uchiha Sasuke's poem is, I think I'll just declare Sasuke the winner!!"

 

...Okay... WHAT?!

 

Blood pressure... RISING...

 

I open my Byakugan-ified eyes and see Sasuke getting a small trophy saying 'Angsting Champion' on it, and a gift certificate to Hot Topic, and I just snap.

 

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A Few Hours Later

 

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When I finally wake up, I'm in a hospital bed, with the steady beep-beep-beep of the heart monitor next to me.

 

All of a sudden, I hear it flat line.

 

I freak out for a moment, and then die. But a few minutes later, as I'm lying there, I decide that this really doesn't feel like dying, and I revive myself.

 

Then, I look to the left of me and realize that the heart monitor was for the guy next to me, and I was alive the whole time.

 

...Ha ha ha... That's one for the employee lounge...

 

So anyways, I take a good look at the guy who's flat lined and see that it's the Depressing Poetry Contests' judge, with a huge hole through his chest.

 

Memories of the past few hours flash by me. I remember... blood, splintered wood, scraps of depressing poetry flying through the air, and me shouting, "I deserve the trophy, I'm supreme angst overlord!! I'll kill you all!!” and then some anguished screams of pain.

 

Hm... That certainly clears up the gap in my mind. I apparently killed off 2/3' s of Konoha's angsting population...

 

Oh well, less competition for me.

 

I climb out of the hospital bed, pulling those damn tubes out of me, a few drops of blood still clinging to my shirt, and walk out of the hospital.

 

And just then, I see Sasuke walking beside me, apparently uninjured.

 

"You can't kill me," he says, "The power of my angst is far too strong for your weak Byakugan!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

 

I stare at him for a moment and then say, "No... I don't think evil laughing really suits you, unless you have your Sharingan or curse seal activated, of course. I think you should just stick to evil mumbling."

 

"...Yeah, yeah... I think that sounded a bit awkward too... Thanks for the tip, bye."

 

"Bye."

 

I watch as Sasuke makes his way off into the sunset dramatically, and I go over the conversation I had just then, and all that comes to mind is, 'wait... what?'

 

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lyke.. OMG what will t3h happens next? Tune in…. and lyke… s7uff…

 

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