Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ninjas dont cry... ❯ And who says ninjas dont cry? ( Chapter 1 )

Ninjas don't cry.

That's what they always told me. But ever since the fight in the preliminaries of the third Chuunin exam, where I had to fight Neji-nii-san, I couldn't get him out of my head. His face plagued me like an angry bee. It just wouldn't leave, and I had no idea why. No one could help me.

Ninjas don't cry.

That's what he always told me. “Don't be so weak, Hinata-sama, you know ninjas don't cry.”

The cold heartless words, the ones which are burned into my mind.

I slipped from my bed and cracked open the door of my bedroom a tiny bit. It was late at night, nearing 1:00, and I still couldn't sleep. Maybe a breath of fresh air would help me.

Creeping quietly on the landing so that I wouldn't wake up Hanabi or my father, or any other cousins and uncles, I slipped down the stairs and soundlessly out the front door.

Ninjas don't cry.

That's what I always told myself. I told myself not to be weak and a baby. But sometimes I suppose my mind is weaker than my eyes, because they soon filled with tight salty tears as I crouched on the back porch, leaning against the railing. Nobody could help me with my feelings. I had nobody here. Not even my precious Naruto-kun.

“Tenten!”

I jumped and crouched behind the railing as I heard the noise, and looked down below at the huge lawn and orchard of trees. Neji-nii-san had been down there, apparently training, and someone had come up behind him.

“Tenten. What are you doing here at this hour?”

The chinese girl looked at her hands dumbly and shrugged.

“I guess I just needed some air. I really like your place, so I thought I'd stroll through and do some training.”

Silence.

“You look like you're training too. Need some help?”

Silence.

Neji closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. “You go home, Tenten. It's too late for you out here. We'll train tomorrow.”

“For god's sake, Neji, live a little, will ya? Come on!”

He reached forward and grabbed her wrist before she could make a move to attack.

“No, Tenten. Go home.”

He released her and began to stalk towards the house again. I shivered, hoping he wouldn't notice me.

“Neji…” Tenten's voice had gone all soft and quiet, and she took a few steps after him. He stopped.

“Neji…I kinda lied to you…”

“Hn?”

“I…uhm…I actually came out here..to see if you were here. I have something…important to tell you…”

Oh no. I knew exactly what this was. I felt a blush spreading over my cheeks. I shouldn't be here. I should leave.

Wait-why was I crying?

Ninjas don't cry!

Tears flowed freely and steadily down my face as I clamped a hand over my mouth to stop my nervous breathing. I hoped he wouldn't notice me here. I couldn't leave now without being heard.

“What is it?” his voice kept the same usual hardness that it always did when speaking,but it broke a little at the end. Maybe he knew what she was about to say too.

“Well-i…that is to say, I…” she faltered, and no wonder. If a smart and strong ninja like Tenten was having trouble speaking her feelings, how would I work towards Neji?

Wait, no, not Neji.

I meant to say Naruto.

Right?

Ninjas don't cry, but…

For some reason, it hurt a little in my heart to hear her next words. A little is an understatement. My heart was wrenched from its place and torn into tiny little pieces, fed to dogs, and the dogs were burned immediately after. There was nothing worse for me in the world, and I dint know why.

“I…I have to come clean, Neji. I think…I think that I have feelings for you.”

No.

No.

No.

Please don't say that, Tenten. Please don't tell him that. Please just go away and leave him alone.

No.

Neji-nii-san turned around and faced her. I wish I could have seen his expression, but his back was facing me. His stance was relaxed and focused, and I could tell that Tenten wasn't going to get rejected.

This was it, the last straw. Not caring if I was seen or not, I leapt up from my position and dashed into the door with a loud clang!! I sprung up the stairs and threw myself into my bed, my shoulders shuddering. Sobs were forced from my chest, and there was no way to stop them.

Ninjas don't cry, right?

Maybe I just wasn't a ninja then. Maybe I was just a poor girl with a broken heart. Because I understood now. I felt a part of Neji's pain. And I loved him for it. Even though he was my cousin, I loved him all the same. And I was a selfish little girl. I didn't want Tenten to have him. Ever. I wanted him.

But I can never have what I want. I cant have a father, Naruto, a real life, courage, strength, Neji. It's not mine. I had to accept that.

And this ninja cried harder.

About 10 minutes later, I heard my door creak open and stopped, trying to pretend I was asleep. No fooling him, though.

“Hinata-sama?”

I was childishly still faking it.

“I know you're awake, Hinata-sama.” He sat on the edge of my bed, something he'd never done before.

“Why were you out there watching us?”

Us. He'd said us. Him and Tenten. Another sob squeezed from my chest, and he heard it clearly.

He placed a soft hand on my head, and I froze. The spottingled where it lay.

“N-N-Neji-nii-san?” I stuttered, raising my head and sitting up. His hand slid to the back of my neck, and my face had gone beet red. I wiped my face hurridly and stared at my hands.

“Why were you out there?” he repeated, and my courage failed. I was just about to answer, too.

Silence.

And more silence.

“Fine, he shrugged, removing his hand. My broken heart ached for him to replace it. But he did not move from his spot, and perhaps this gave me the faith.

“I-I w-w-was just out f-f-for some air. I d-didn't know you w-w-were out there, N-Neji-nii-san. Honest.”

I gasped. His hand was laying on mine.

He turned to me, his white eyes flashing in the darkness. His long dark hair was undone, and he looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Calm. Wild. Untamable. Tranquil.

Without realizing what I was doing, I leaned forward and kissed him.

He sat back, surprised, but didn't force my lips away from his. Instead, he pushed back gently. With another shock, I realised his shoulders were shaking.

I broke away, and stared at my hands again.

“Forgive me,” I whispered, leaving him no explanation.

“You are forgiven,” he whispered back, and I realised the reason for his shoulder was that tears were dripping from his face. His eyes were shut, and he looked in pain.

I had hurt him.

He had me and Tenten now.

I had hurt him.

He got up and fled the room, not closing the door. I walked over to it and peeked around the corner, watching him disappear into the next bedroom, then shut it and returned to my bed.

On the side of it was a small ponytail holder which he used for his hair. I grabbed it and pressed it to my chest. It was wet with his tears, his soft confused tears.

And who says ninjas don't cry?