Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Nostalgia ❯ Nostalgia ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Title : Nostalgia.
Rating : NC 16
Summary: “This is the line that marks insanity, Sasuke.”
He made a line in the dirt in front of him with his foot.
“Cross it.”
Pairing : ItaSasu, NaruSasu, slight GaaSasu.
He leaned into the other's embrace, allowing himself just that little bit of release as he put his arms around that strong neck, as he allowed himself to be comforted by those brutal yet gentle hands.
“Sasuke.”
He couldn't resist the lips that pressed against his own, couldn't keep himself from indulging in the sweet words that was whispered into his ear.
“Sasuke.”
Wake up.
Obsidian eyes snapped open.
He did not allow himself to let out the whimper that had crept its way up his throat; instead sitting up and wiping the sweat off his forehead, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind his ears. His cheeks felt wet, his breathing was heavy, and his mind was clouded.
And the first thought that jumped into his head was Uzumaki Naruto.
***
Naruto stretched; right about to tuck himself into bed, he picked up an all too familiar chakra signature approaching his quarters.
He just sat there, waiting for that ever familiar silhouette to appear at his window.
He came back three months ago.
“Uchiha Sasuke came back.”
Everyone didn't believe it at first, even Naruto couldn't believe it. In fact, when Sasuke had shown up behind Naruto on his way back from a mission, Naruto had to pinch himself to ensure it was real. He touched the Uchiha's face, reliving every detail, and he pulled the now smaller boy into his arms, and he was so afraid to let go, he held the Uchiha in such a tight embrace it was almost as if the other would disappear if he did.
“Yo, Sasuke.” The other boy made no reply; he just sat against the window, hugging himself.
The blonde smiled and turned to face the ebony-haired boy, tilting his head a little, that familiar, comforting smile in place on his face.
“What brings you here so late?”
Sasuke's eyes were cold, his skin tinted blue in the dull lighting.
He looked almost dead.
Naruto sighed, getting off the bed nonchalantly; he made his slow progress towards the boy at the window, stopping but just a few centimeters away from him. He wasn't sure what Sasuke wanted, or what he NEEDED, but he did try his best to give it to him. After all, he'd already lost him once; he didn't want to lose him again. So Naruto tried his best to understand and study Sasuke's body language, the way he moved and reacted to certain things, they way he acted when he wanted or craved something.
Because Sasuke barely spoke anymore.
He held his arms out in front of the other boy, at both his sides, in a gentle offer of a hug.
Naruto almost choked as he felt Sasuke crash against him, desperately seeking contact. His head had connected so hard with Naruto's chin he almost bit his tongue off. It was an extremely brief gesture, for immediately Sasuke pulled away, as swiftly as he had come into Naruto's arms.
The ebony-haired shinobi did not bring his eyes to Naruto's face, but kept his gaze on the floor, the floor, as if he was watching something remotely fascinating there. He almost winced when he felt Naruto's calloused fingers on his cheek.
“Sasuke.”
He felt a shiver run down the older boy's spine, and he tensed as well, fearing that he had done something Sasuke didn't like, and he removed his hand quickly, almost as if he had been caught touching his mother's favorite porcelain dish.
He almost didn't catch the frown on Sasuke's face, the frown that had almost never been there.
“Touch me.” It wasn't a command, it was something more than that, it was a request, a sincere pleading nature evident in the Uchiha's trembling voice.
Naruto smiled, a soft smile, and slowly put his arms about the smaller form, pulling the now shorter young man into a tight embrace, and he felt he could die of joy when Sasuke did the same.
The now taller shinobi could not help but notice the slightness of Sasuke's frame, how thin he had gotten in the time they'd been apart, how much taller he himself had grown than the boy that used to be just that few inches ahead.
“Sasuke.”
The boy broke away at the mention of his name, and with a glare, he made for the window, leaving a very stunned Naruto behind.
***
Sasuke stalked back home, his face almost completely devoid of emotion except for that barely noticeable frown on his flawless pale face. He stopped at his apartment window, and he saw himself in the jet black reflective surface of glass, a pale, skinny boy, who looked too much like a girl, a pale, skinny boy who looked so broken and pained.
And he saw...
...Itachi.
He glared at nothing in particular with a growl, shoving the glass panel open none too gently before slipping inside, to a cold, empty place, devoid of any other human being, devoid of Naruto. He immediately headed for the showers, suddenly feeling so dirty.
He couldn't forget what happened at Sound. He couldn't forget, even though he begged Orochimaru to erase his memories; no, Orochimaru wanted him to REMEMBER, remember what he had done to him, he wanted to SCORCH it into Sasuke's consciousness, even his sub-consciousness, he wanted Sasuke to think about it constantly, to curse him, to HATE him.
Sasuke was even starting to forget the very REASON he harbored that searing hate in the first place.
He desperately scrubbed at his arms, his neck, his thighs, desperately trying to get whatever it was off himself. His skin burned under the warm water, his scratch marks not helping the situation much.
They touched him. They touched him. They touched him.
He could still feel their fingertips running over his skin. He had not consented, no; he didn't want any part of it. He felt so soiled, so broken, so used and discarded. He longed for someone to actually care, longed for someone to call his own, instead of being just `owned'. He felt nauseous, he prayed to whatever god that would listen that someone would save him from this living hell.
He touched his cheek, suddenly remembering Naruto's lingering touch, that gentle contact, so different from what he had been conditioned to endure in Sound.
He was silently grateful, grateful for the forgiving people of Konoha, grateful for the things he'd learned from the people around him, grateful for Naruto's existence.
He made his quiet way out of the bathroom, his towel draped around his hips, he headed to his bedroom, where he slipped on something comfortable and after sitting on the bed and staring out the window into the pitch black night scene, he decided to sleep.
And so he did.
***
His sleep was deep and dreamless, a mere chance for him to rest his mind and body, he did not care for dreams, he was already living in one. But sleep provided him with comfort and security, something he couldn't find when he was awake.
Sometimes he wondered why he even woke up at all.
He got out of bed, trudging to the bathroom; he brushed his teeth, not daring to look into the mirror, lest he see the reflection of someone he never wanted to be - Lest he see the very image of the older brother that slaughtered his entire family.
He showered, and then dressed, his mind blank and his body raw and tired. He headed out; he had promised to meet Sakura for a physical check up he had been neglecting since his return.
He strolled the streets of Konoha, ignoring the stares people sent him, blocking out the whispers, blinding himself to the fingers that were pointed at him.
He met up with the pink-haired girl outside Ichiraku, and was surprised by that someone who accompanied her.
Uzumaki Naruto.
Naruto greeted him with a hug, and Sasuke could feel the other boy's breath against his ear, it felt strangely ticklish, a sensation that he decided he enjoyed. Sakura had smiled and patted him on the shoulder, and Sasuke decided that he liked that as well.
He walked beside Naruto the entire way to Konoha Hospital, Sakura leading the way a few paces in front. There was a comfortable silence between the two shinobi, a silence they both appreciated.
***
Sasuke took off his shirt, revealing to curious eyes a flawless expanse of white skin, no mark of any of the previous battles he had been through, no telling of what tortures he had ever been forced to endure.
They had been careful.
Sakura's eyes widened a fraction as she regarded his body, almost tenderly, as if she had been waiting for this moment for ever. Sasuke exhaled slowly, Naruto had been told to wait outside, but he was peering in through the window, and he seemed to like what he saw as the Uchiha's back, unbeknownst to the latter, of course.
The ebony-haired boy looked toward the gawking medic-nin expectantly, patiently waiting for her to get a hold on herself.
And five seconds later, she did.
The medical examination went on in silence, Sasuke following Sakura's directions with no objection, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Sasuke-kun, you have to eat more. You're too light to be healthy.”
Sasuke made a little sound of acknowledgement, though nothing changed in his pretty features.
`What in Heaven's name did they do to you, Sasuke?' Sakura thought, and although it hurt her to see the boy look so lost, she knew she could do nothing to help him.
Sasuke pulled on his shirt, trying his best to look normal, “healthy”, in front of the pink-haired girl, but failed quite miserably, instead letting out a very unplanned cough due to choke on saliva.
“Sasuke-kun, are you alright?”
He managed to wave her away amid his chain of coughs, earning himself a very worried glare from the window, though he almost didn't notice it.
He shot a glance at the window to see no one, as expected of a certain blonde dobe that happened to be one of Konoha's finest ANBU captains.
Sakura didn't catch the little smile on Sasuke's face.
***
Naruto walked Sasuke back in silence, and they stopped by the Ichiraku for dinner. They had trained half the day away, right after the physical examination, and both young men were now covered in a thin film of sweat, with little specks of dirt on their clothes and a flush to their faces.
And Naruto had noted, with utmost delight, that Sasuke actually looked happy.
He was happy, and that was all that mattered to Naruto right now.
He tried to reason with himself, that Sasuke was his best friend, that he was a brother, that he didn't need anything in return, that he shouldn't expect the older boy to reciprocate any of his feelings, but he knew that it never really worked; the self-reasoning.
Sasuke was beautiful, and he was attracted; it was that simple.
He saw no meaning in hiding his feelings, but right now, he just couldn't help but feel afraid, afraid that if he told the other boy about his feelings, the Uchiha would just leave again.
And he didn't want that.
He would never let Sasuke leave again.
***
Sasuke wasn't stupid.
He wasn't oblivious to Naruto's unconscious advances.
He noticed when Naruto had held him against the ground for a little longer than he had to, he noticed when the other boy sometimes watched over him as he slept, he noticed when Naruto would sometimes just stare at him and not say anything, he noticed when the blonde's hand lingered on his a little longer than necessary.
No, Sasuke wasn't blind.
***
Sasuke stopped, and Naruto stopped too, the orange glow of the setting sun bathed them, their shadows long and alien to even their owners.
“Sasuke?” Naruto turned to the smaller boy, a puzzled look on his fine features.
The older boy didn't say anything, but he pushed the blonde against the closest wall, leaning so close he could feel the other boy's heart beat.
“Sasuke?”
The ebony-haired boy again made no answer, but instead allowed himself to put his arms around the younger boy's neck, and later, allowed himself to press his lips against Naruto's firmly, secretly enjoying the feel of the taller boy's lips against his own.
He could feel the younger boy tense beneath his touch, and he could feel the hesitance of the other boy as he put his arms around his waist, pulling him closer to himself unsurely, and Sasuke felt like laughing.
Hadn't he been like that as well when Itachi first shoved him against the wall and kissed the breath out of him?
FLASHBACK
Itachi smiled, and Sasuke felt his heart lighten up.
“Tomorrow, Sasuke. I'll train with you tomorrow.”
Sasuke flashed his older brother a smile that was purely bliss and innocence.
Itachi's smile faded as he moved closer to his little brother, backing the little boy against the wall of the hallway, he positioned his arms at either side of the younger boy's head, and he inched his way so close to his little brother's face he could feel the boy's breath against his cheek.
“Ni-chan?”
Itachi pressed his lips against the little boy's cheek, earning himself a surprised gasp from his younger sibling, before moving his lips to the smaller boy's, making use of that surprise to slip his tongue into the smaller boy's mouth, taking his time in exploring the younger Uchiha's mouth, and Sasuke, afraid that he would bite off his brother's tongue, made no movement whatsoever. His older brother however, taunted his tongue to respond, moving one of the hands that had been against the wall to hold the younger boy's head, and the other one to drape around the other Uchiha's waist.
The older Uchiha brought their bodies closer, pressing his entire length against the smaller boy, earning himself a moan, before Sasuke finally gave in to that sweet exchange.
END FLASHBACK
Naruto was skilled with his tongue, really, he was.
Sasuke almost couldn't control his voice as Naruto continued his ministrations as they stumbled toward the Uchiha manner.
No one else mattered.
****
A/N: Yes. Umm. Yes. I'll bring in Gaara later in the story. Hope you liked this piece~ hahaha. That'll be all.