Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ OUR Blonde ❯ Chapter 1

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Our Blonde
Author: Dagger Stiletto
Pairing: Itachi, Naruto, and Sasuke. Naruto is manipulative and domineering seme, Itachi is uke only when with Naruto, and Sasuke is uke to both Naru and Itachi.
Disclaimer: I do not nor will I ever own Naruto.
Dagger: Konnichiwa! It’s me again. Aren’t you people getting tired of my nonsense?
Knives: Yes. Yes I am.
Dagger: I don’t care about what you think. You have to deal with me and my beloved voices until you move out of my house You know, you’re the older sibling. Aren’t you supposed to have a house better than mine?
Knives: Of course not! I am supposed to continually take advantage of my baby sister’s spoils.
Dagger: What’s wrong with this picture? Oh, I know. The lack of beat-the-crap-out-of-big-brother.
Danny-boy: *sighs* You never learn your lesson, do you Knives?
Dagger: That’s why I am here; to teach him over and over until he gets it right.
Danny-boy: Or he dies from blood loss or the sheer number of blows to the head.
Dagger: *laughs maniacally in agreement*
Knives: *cringes and creeps out of the room to safety*

They missed their blonde. He’d been gone for nearly two weeks, and they were losing their minds with worry. Right now, Itachi paced back and forth in front of the recliner that Sasuke was curled up in. Sasuke had to continually tell his older sibling to stop biting his nails; Naruto didn’t like ragged nails biting into his skin during the heat of passion.

Contrary to popular belief, Naruto was very dominant and possessive despite outward appearance. He controlled each and every move the Uchihas made. Whatever he said, went. And if either even so much as thought of disobeying, both were punished. He was more manipulative than both of the remaining Uchihas combine, but it was in a way one could hardly notice, if at all.

Their relationship had started several months over a year ago. Naruto had finally gotten tired of Konoha’s villagers’ crap and became a missing nin, gaining a piece of land hidden deep within a faraway forest and starting his own village, calling it the Nameless. He came to desire Itachi, both for his abilities and his body, and he kidnapped him from the Akatsuki. Eventually, through that secretive manipulation and the seduction of mind and body, he managed to get Itachi to fall in love with him, and he got caught in his own web, falling in love with the elder Uchiha himself.

Sasuke, on the other hand, heard of Itachi’s “relocation” and went to the Nameless Village. It was nigh impossible to get inside the village without Naruto’s permission, due to the blonde’s vast collection of the strongest shinobi; said shinobi had been exiled from their home villages for one thing or another, and Naruto had gathered them, almost like one would go flower picking, and gave them refuge in his village, which made each and every new villager immensely loyal to their leader.

Sasuke tried to get inside the village, only to be incarcerated. He was immeasurably astonished to find that Naruto of all people was the leader of this amazingly strong establishment, and also to hear that Itachi was wrapped around his little finger. To ensure the safety of his village as well as his current lover, Naruto performed a sort of seal on Sasuke to keep him from using Chidori or the Sharingan unless so dictated by him. The seal also provided protection to Sasuke’s eyesight; the Sharingan did a lot of wear and tear on the user’s eyes, but the seal had the same effect on eyes as toothpaste did to the teeth.

A similar seal had been placed on Itachi beforehand, though the elder raven took the treatment willingly whereas Sasuke fought it all the way.

After a month-and-a-half of a stay in Nameless, Sasuke fell head-over-heels for Naruto as well. It didn’t take much longer for the devious Kyuubi-container to convince the siblings that they had a connection deeper than just that of brotherly love.

Whether such a thing was actually true without Naruto’s “brainwashing” was left a mystery that would most likely never be solved.

If anyone from Konoha knew of what Naruto had amazingly been able to accomplish despite his less-than-encouraging upbringing, he would most definitely be sought out, either to be assassinated for good, or to be asked for an alliance between villages.

Itachi and Sasuke were currently terrified at the prospect of Konoha actually somehow managing to infiltrate information from Nameless and delaying their blonde from coming home. It was a horrible feeling to fear the death of a loved and eternally revered one, especially when that precious person ultimately saved their souls from darkness.

They both shot to their feet and stood straight as rods when the front door opened. They held their breaths, bodies tense. They were never allowed to be seen in public without Naruto, which meant they weren’t allowed to answer the door to a guest unless ordered to by their blonde. So whomever was entering the house was either their blonde or a trespasser, and they were definitely allowed to kill anyone intruding in their home.

Immense relief tore through and relaxed their bodies when they saw a blonde mop of messy hair enter the living room. He looked tired, but he smirked anyway and opened his arms in invitation. Itachi and Sasuke rushed to embrace him tightly.

“I see that my babies missed me,” Naruto murmured, bending to press kisses to the top of their heads; he’d grown quite tall between the fifteenth and twentieth years of life, even taller than Itachi.

“Of course we did,” Sasuke responded, nuzzling his face to Naruto’s chest.

“Naruto, what happened to your face?” Itachi demanded.

Sasuke leaned back to see the new scar slashing diagonally from hairline to eyebrow. It was still healing with Kyuubi’s chakra, so it probably would disappear within the hour.

“Your friend Kisame has been quite adamant with the task of getting you back, Itachi-kun,” Naruto informed as he eased down to sit on the couch. “Needless to say, he will never again be able to use that sword of his. Or his leg.”

“What’s wrong with his leg?” Sasuke inquired.

“He doesn’t have one,” Naruto replied with a smirk. Then he reached over and pulled Sasuke to straddle his lap, caressing the boy’s slender hips.

The smaller raven immediately began to mouth the scar, as though his kisses would speed the healing process.

Itachi, feeling left out, moved to stand behind Naruto and began to massage the blonde’s shoulders and neck, alarmed at the tight knots in the muscles.

Naruto sighed under the ministrations of his dark-haired lovers, relaxing further into their touches. He dominated, of course, when Sasuke moved his lips over his in a slow, sweet kiss. Itachi whimpered from behind and nuzzled Naruto’s hair, which had long since smoothed to a thick, silky fall of gold that fell to his shoulder blades, his bangs reaching to the tip of his nose to effectively hide his sapphire eyes whenever he wished.

Naruto drew out of the kiss and led Sasuke’s face to his neck. He sighed as the mouth began to obediently suckle, kiss, and nip the flesh there. Then he turned his head and dragged Itachi down to kiss him a little more roughly than he had Sasuke. It wasn’t before long that Naruto stood with Sasuke clinging to him, arms and legs wrapped around to hold on more effectively. Naruto reached over to grasp Itachi’s hand and lead him to the bedroom upstairs.

He threw both ravens onto the bed and began stripping until he was dressed only in tight boxer-briefs. Sasuke instantly came to the edge of the bed where the blonde waited, and he kisses Naruto’s belly, tracing the seal mark with his delicate tongue. Itachi stripped completely and began to help his otouto do the same. After both were properly naked, Naruto pulled away.

“Let me see,” he commanded softly.

Sasuke turned on is hands and knees towards Itachi. Itachi’s hands slipped around and pulled his baby brother’s cheeks apart to reveal the pink, quivering hole, which had a vibrator shoved deep within him. The vibrator was flexible and thin so that the boy could move easily without pain or discomfort, and the base was large, round and several inches in diameter so that Sasuke’s entrance was stretched the entire time Naruto was gone.

“Good, good,” Naruto crooned at the sight “How often did it go off?”

“Two -and-a-half hours,” Sasuke moaned, rubbing his face against Itachi’s smooth chest.

“Did you take care of him?”

“Yes, Naruto-sama,” Itachi answered.

“Excellent. Fetch the lube, Ita-koi.”

Itachi scrambled over to the drawer at the head of the bed where the new tube of lubrication was kept. Without being asked, he uncapped it, squirted some of the gel-like substance on his fingers, and reverently coated Naruto’s giant, erect, throbbing penis, delighting at the feel of the warmth and texture in his hands. He bent and gently kissed the tip before moving up to allow the blonde to mercilessly plunder his oral cavern.

Finally, Naruto moved Itachi away and dragged Sasuke over, slowly and sensuously removing the vibrator, which had come back on and started to buzz along the younger raven’s inner walls. He kneaded around Sasuke’s ready entrance, delighting in the desperate cries from his younger lover.

~*~~*~*~*~~*~
Dagger: Okay, note to all my readers since I forgot to mention in the introduction: Itachi=22 years, Naruto=20, Sasuke=17 years. Thought I’d just throw that out there for the public’s better knowledge and before someone somewhere gets confused. :3
~*~~*~*~*~~*~

Eventually, he slid in all the way to the hilt, sighing in ecstasy at the tight heat surrounding his large, throbbing erection, which he had neglected of all touch aside from bathing and clothing itdamn abstinence!for an entire 312 hours and 28 minutes.

His eyes opened when he heard Itachi whimper, and he smiled when he saw the older brother clenching his hands on his thighs, kneeling to the side, lust in his ruby eyes. He was being so good, not touching his penis even though it was obvious just how much he wanted to. He whimpered again, panting. Naruto pointed at Sasuke’s head; Itachi moaned and crawled over to his brother’s face, lifting the teen’s head.

“Ngha!” Sasuke cried with Naruto’s thrusting, not aware of what Itachi was silently begging for because of his closed eyes. “Please, Naruto-sama, harder!”

“Pleasure your aniki, baby,” Naruto crooned, rubbing a hand up and down the arched, pale back under him.

Sasuke gasped, eyes flying open as he finally acknowledged his brother’s predicament. He stretched his neck slightly and engulfed Itachi’s cock.

The heat bursting through Naruto increased, making him flame and pound harder into Sasuke’s ass. Sasuke’s muffled keens sent vibrations up along Itachi’s cock and all over his spine. Naruto, seeing the extreme pleasure on Itachi’s face, dragged the elder raven forward for a deep, involved kiss, bruising the full lips and causing blood to coat both mouths. Itachi’s hips began thrusting inside Sasuke’s mouth so that he was being fucked by front and back.

Sasuke screamed at the burning sensations of both cocks moving in and out of him simultaneously. His body heaved to try and keep with Naruto’s thrusts while his head bobbed and throat constricted in an attempt to swallow as much of Itachi as he could, panting harshly. He felt his orgasm building, but there was something missing that he needed to reach completion.

“Please, touch me!” he cried, breaking away from Itachi to gasp. “I need you to touch me!”

“Keep sucking, bitch, or I’ll stop,” Naruto snarled, slapping at a nicely rounded, pale ass cheek.

“Mmmm,” Sasuke whined, leaning over to once again engulf his aniki’s dick.

“Mmmnnnn,” Itachi moaned; he pulled back from Naruto’s mouth to pant and focus on pounding into Sasuke’s receptive mouth. “So good, Sasuke, so good,” he panted lustfully.

Naruto growled and lunged forcefully into Sasuke’s love channel, sliding one of his fingers in along his cock to force more stretch and burn to Sasuke’s body. “Nngh!” Sasuke protested around Itachi’s erectoin, making Naruto laugh and increase speed.

“Oh, Naruto-sama, fuck him harder. Fuck him harder!” Itachi cried. “Please! I want to hear otouto come, Naruto-sama.”

Naruto grinned ferally. He gripped Itachi’s hair at the back of his neck and tugged his head back harshly; the older raven screamed at the prickles of pain on his scalp. Then the blonde bit harshly at his throat, drinking the resulting blood greedily. His free hand reached down and around to finally touch Sasuke’s neglected prick. He pumped the organ roughly until white cream spurted form the slit at the tip, and the walls of his ass closed around Naruto’s manhood blissfully.

Listening to the twin climaxes of his most precious people, Itachi finally erupted as well, spilling his seed in torrents down Sasuke’s rapidly-working throat. The three of them collapsed, breathing heavily, bodies tingling with the aftereffects of their orgasms, eyelids lowered at half-mast as they tried to recuperate.

Naruto eventually rolled onto his back and tugged Itachi onto his chest, running his fingers up and down the long-haired raven’s ribs. “I think I’m going to bring a new playmate into our little establishment,” he murmured to both ravens.

Their eyes widened to stare at each other, ruby meeting onyx. Naruto observed lazily even as he rubbed at Itachi’s unprepared entrance, making the spent cock start to rise and tingle, hardening. He knew what their reactions would be, but he liked to get a rise out of them. He liked to see the pale skin covering their bodies flush with anger and outrage, and he craved seeing the emotions pass over their normally impassive expressions.

“W-who are you going to bring?” Sasuke stammered, his tired body curling up close by.

“Hyuuga.”

“Neji or Hinata?” Itachi inquired. He almost sounded tremulous, which amused Naruto greatly, though he did not show it.

“Neji.”

They literally looked like they were about to cry. “But Naruto!” they exclaimed in unison, and he was glomped by both ravens. “You’re our blonde! We don’t want to share….” Sasuke hurried his head in the crook of Naruto’s neck, and Itachi did the same to the blonde’s flat stomach.

Naruto chuckled. He was pleased that he’d gotten exactly what he wanted. He turned and dragged Sasuke’s mouth into a deep, demanding kiss while tenderly combing his fingers through Itachi’s silky midnight tresses. He didn’t release the teen until he’d rediscovered every little space in his mouth and tasted blood. Using one hand, he forced Itachi to his groin, where the raven set to delicately licking at the red organ, like a kitten. With the other hand, he eased Sasuke’s head to the side, bit into his slender and feminine neck, and drank as he had with the elder raven before.

Itachi switched to flat-tongued licks from base to head, curling his tongue around the length, occasionally flickering the tip of said tongue into the slit of the large manhood. He delighted in the taste of Naruto, moaning and humming before deep-throating him fully. Pride swirled in his belly at Naruto’s deep groan of pleasure; he brought himself up to his knees, and his hands kneaded at the blonde’s strong, bulky thighs, sprinkled lightly with golden hair.

Naruto had long since forced Sasuke and Itachi to give up body hair, even their pubes.

He liked them clean and smooth.

While riding through the haze of ecstasy resulting of the amazing head Itachi always gave, Naruto lifted away from the dazed Sasuke’s throat. Sasuke’s sleepy eyes gazed at him adoringly, and a pale and delicate hand gently stroked at Naruto’s golden hair. He sighed, strangely sated with just the one coulping with Naruto, his cock staying soft even when Naruto played with his pretty pink nipples.

“Sasuke,” Naruto uttered low, voice slightly gruff. “I want you to prepare your aniki for me so I don’t hurt him.”

Though he looked like he was fighting sleep, Sasuke crawled down the bed to where Itachi’s butt was put on display. Although he hadn’t been specifically asked, the younger ran leaned forward and pressed his pink, agile tongue to Itachi’s pucker.

Itachi screamed around his mouthful of cock at the dizzying sensation of the wet muscle pushing and slickening his inner walls. Then two fingers entered, slicked up with lube. He panted and did his best to continue pleasuring Naruto, even with the maddening feeling of being stretched and only half-filled arousing him even further.

Two more fingers entered him, and he panted harder, whimpering and keening. He pulled away from Naruto’s demanding prick to lean his forehead on the flat stomach above it. Saliva dribbled from his mouth.

Chuckling breathlessly, Naruto smirked. “That’s enough, Sasu-koi.”

Sasuke crawled away, curling up around a pillow to watch contentedly.

“Mount me, Itachi-kun,” Naruto ordered reverently.

Itachi straddled Naruto, positioning himself. He slowly and carefully impaled himself. He had to be more careful since he was tighter than Sasuke. The younger raven was a complete uke and often took Itachi’s cock up his ass, sometimes at the same instance as Narutodouble entry. Itachi was only uke with Naruto, so he had to be careful when mounting his blonde’s larger-than-most penis, especially when it was fully erect.

By the time he was fully impale, he was mindless with the mixture of ecstasy and slight pain. “Nah, uh, uh, uhhhhhnnnnn! Naruto, please take me. I need toahhhnnnnfeel you mhicmoving in me. I need to feel you ramming until I can’t breathe anymore! Please! Ah!!”

Naruto tightly gripped Itachi’s hips. “Ride me, baby.”

Itachi began to lift up and plunge down on that hot rod shoved so far up his ass that he swore he could taste it in his throat again. The hands strongly gripping his hips helped to increase the power and speed at which he moved. “Ah, ah, ah, Ahhh, Naruto-sama…. Please, faster! I need mmmoooooooooore!” he begged, rocking harder in desperation. His lithe body arched, and he twisted his hips, grinding down harder in his blonde lover’s lap. “Please, Naru….”

Itachi gasped and screamed when Naruto surged up into a sitting positon, which harshly changed the angle his cock was positioned. Naruto knelt on his knees and hooked both of Itachi’s over his hips, keeping hold of one in his left hand while wrapping his right arm around and pressing the palm flat against the small of Itachi’s back.

Using his kneeling position as leverage, Naruto pounded deeply into that desperate little ass. Itachi rocked frantically against his blonde seme, letting out little cries for every time Naruto dove in. Naruto purposefully struck the other man’s prostate every time until Itachi came with a ear-splitting scream.

However, Naruto kept thrusting like a rutting bull, smirking at the limp body draped backwards over his arm. He reached down, releasing the leg he’d been holding, to grip the flaccid organ nestled between pale thighs. Itachi gave a mewl of protest mixed with pleasure, eyes closed.

“I can’t,” he moaned. “It’s too m-much…. P-please, Naruto-sama, no….” He broke into pants, chest lifting and falling rapidly with the expansion and constriction of his lungs. His hands pushed at Naruto ineffectually.

“You will come and come and come as much as I demand, isn’t that right, my little cloud?” Naruto crooned roughly, squeezing the awakening erection in his hand. “You’ll do anything and everything that I say, won’t you?”

“Y-yes,” Itachi whispered on a sigh.

“When will you do what I say?”

“When you t-tell m-me to….ah!” He arched back as far as his spine allowed when Naruto hit his prostate for the first time since his last orgasm.

“And why will you do it?”

“B-because you desire it…. Naru, please! Uhnnnn!!”

“And why do you care what I desire?” Naruto stopped altogether.

“Mmm! N-Naaarrruuutooo!” Itachi squirmed frantically, eyes scrunched.

“Answer me, saiai. Why do you care?” He moved the hand on Itachi’s penis to gently caress the dip in his hip.

“Because I love you, Naruto-sama. I love you so much. I’ll die without you, Naruto.” Tears glittered in the ruby orbs.

Naruto grinned and leaned in for a tender, wet kiss. He sucked at Itachi’s tongue, and the raven threw his arms around the blonde’s neck passionately, whimpering and moaning into Naruto’s mouth.

Naruto finally pulled back to press gently little kisses across Itachi’s smooth forehead. Itachi sighed and leaned into the loving caresses.

“I love you, too, Itachi,” he cooed. “And I love your otouto, Sasuke. That’s why I do what I do. That’s why I’m rough with you, and it’s why I touch you so softly. I share Kyuubi’s chakra to heal you even when I need it more, and it’s why I make you bleed until near death so you know just a little of what it would be like to be without me.” He murmured it in his ear, shoving the wet muscle of his tongue deep in the whorl of the shell.

“Please, Naruto, I love you so much. I need you. Please, please, please, please, please….” Itachi’s body was reaching that point of no return, inside tightening and burning with intensity. “Oh, Naruto-sama, I’m so close. Just a little more!”

The blonde moaned and finally touched Itachi’s cock, murmuring, “Come now, baby,” while simultaneously hitting Itachi’s prostate.

His scream was silent as his cum sprayed over the blonde’s hand and chest as well as his own. Tears of pleasure streamed down his face as his back arched like a bow, hands gripped like vices over tanned, rock-hard biceps, breath shuddering from his body, and inner walls clamped down over the cock buried deep within him.

Naruto gasped and growled, biting possessively into a pale shoulder. Itachi yelped, but he rocked obligingly one last time, keeping his ass clenched so that he finally pulled Naruto into an explosive climax. The rivers of semen and cum seemed to never end, filling Itachi hotly with his love’s essence.

They collapsed, breathing like men who’d been asphyxiated and allowed oxygen for the first time. Itachi found enough strength to pick himself and lick his cum clean off Naruto’s fingers and torso. Then he dragged himself up to curl against the man’s side, head resting on the strong chest while a bronze arm wrapped around him securely and protectively.

Naruto pressed a kiss to the sweaty forehead. Then he turned over to find Sasuke curled in a ball, sleeping peacefully; he must have fainted from exhaustion. He reached over and pulled him over to rest on the other side of him, making him mutter drowsily.

“Love you, Naru,” Sasuke crooned sleepily.

Naruto laughed softly and nuzzled Sasuke’s pale cheek, which had a single scar across it that resulted from a fight with Orochimaru; Naruto had killed the snake bastard because of it.

~*~~*~Two Weeks Later~*~~*~
Itachi stumbled out of the bathroom with the help of a worried Sasuke. He whimpered as he lay curled on the bed as Sasuke lovingly wiped his brow with a wet, cold cloth. The elder raven had just finished spending the most part of two hours hugging the white, porcelain bowl of the toilet in the master bathroom. He felt miserable…..and he strangely craved sardines and vanilla ice cream with peanut butter cups, all of which he usually avoided.

Naruto walked in distractedly, heading over to the walk-in closet to pick out a pair of shoes. Sasuke immediately leapt on the opportunity to grasp for help.

“Naruto, something’s wrong with Itachi,” he said anxiously.

Naruto came back out, eyebrow raised with concern. He observed the state Itachi was in and came forward. “Sasuke, please find a pair of shoes that will match my blue robes.”

“The sky blue or the dark blue?”

“Sky.”

Sasuke dashed off as Naruto sat on the bed. Red chakra swirled like heatless flames around Naruto’s hand as he rested it on Itachi’s forehead. He slowly moved the hand down Itachi’s body until it came to rest on the raven’s lower abdomen.

Then, astonishingly, he began to laugh boisterously.

Sasuke came in with a pair of tan sandals in his hand, frowning while Itachi stared at the his blonde lover in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Sasuke queried, dropping the sandals.

“That old fox!” Naruto chuckled. “I didn’t think she’d really do it!” He continued to snigger.

“What?! I don’t understand. What does Kyuubi had to do with me?” Itachi asked, propping himself on his elbow.

“Itachi, my lovely, you’re two weeks pregnant.”

Itachi’s eyes grew wide, and he looked as though he’d faint. Sasuke paused a moment before he squealed delightedly and glomped his aniki. “We’re going to have a baaaabyyyyyyyy!!” he squealed with joy. Then he paused. “Hey, why ain’t I pregnant?” He pouted.

Naruto chuckled and ruffled his glossy hair. “Because Kyuubi wasn’t going to impregnate a minor.”

“But….why am I pregnant? How is it even possible?” Itachi asked. He was really opposed to it, but he wanted to know the reasons and facts.

And he definitely wanted to make sure it was Naruto’s child he carried. He hadn’t had sex with anyone other than the blonde and his baby brother, but when the Kitsune Bijuu was involved, anything could happen.

“I’ve always wanted a family,” Naruto began, sitting on the bed.

The ravens instantly pressed close.

“And that’s what I got with you two…. But I wanted something more, and I couldn’t figure out what it was until I saw Sakura’s and Rock Lee’s baby. I realized what I wanted, but I knew I couldn’t have one. Kyuubi didn’t like my emotional discomfort, even though I thought about adopting, and she said that she could ‘get the more suitable of my lovers pregnant the next time we have sex.’ I wasn’t real sure about it, but if she could do it without hurting either one of you, I told her to go ahead and try. She once had kits, and she knows what it’s like to desire offspring, so she sent chakra through my semen that was designed to make the necessary changes in the ‘more suitable lover.’ The semen itself did the job, and now, my little cloud, you are my child.”

He finished with a joyous grin.

Now that he knew what was going on, Itachi was immeasurably excited and happy. “Well, what is it? Boy or girl?” he asked eagerly, ruby eyes glittering with joy.

Naruto laughed at the blatant exuberance. “Well, I don’t know. Why don’t you lay down flat on your back so we can take a look see, hm?”

Itachi obeyed instantly. “Is there any way to stop the morning sickness?” he asked as Naruto ran a blue-chakra-laced hand over and around his hips and stomach.

“Mm-hmm….” Naruto murmured, and the chakra turned to teal. He pulled away a few minutes after. He was quiet a moment. “Well….the baby’s healthy, and Kyuubi rearranged a few things so that morning sickness won’t be a problem. And….” he trailed off.

“‘And’? ‘And’ what?” Itachi asked anxiously.

Naruto’s face was straight and seriousscaring the bejesus out of the ravensbefore he broke into the broadest smile the others had seen in forever. “It’s a boy.”

And the ravens leapt upon their blonde, screaming and squealing like little seven-year-old girls about the new baby on the way.

And three different minds were soon to clash on exactly what to name said child….

Dagger: Cool! My first actual mpreg! I’m quite happy.
Knives: Well what about Primitive Instincts?
Dagger: Actually, I think there was a very brief mention of it, like maybe 46 seconds of reading time. I’ll have to check to make sure.
Knives: You do that.
Dagger: You know what, maybe you should do it if you are so worried about it, you big jerk-face.
Danny-boy: Please review when you’re through with reading this.