Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Pain (Songfic) ❯ Pain ( One-Shot )

Pain

 

By: ladygizarme

Beta'd By: Rasengan22

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Naruto, or the song used in this songfic. Even more depressing, I make no money from this, hence I'm broke. *dramatic sob*

Song Lyrics: “Pain” by Three Days Grace

Warnings: Yaoi, Oral, Anal, Angst, sorta bondage

Pairings: NaruSai, onesided NaruSasu

A/N: So, my three year old has been addicted to this song the past three days, and it is now burned into my brain. Not that I'm complaining, but the longer I listen to a song on repeat, the more I analyze the lyrics and the more they make me wanna do things with the song… like make an AMV or write something… and since I'm currently too lazy to make an AMV, a songfic popped outta me! My first “actual” songfic, I do believe, so I guess we'll see how this goes… Please do comment. BTW, lyrics are shown in italics.

 

*****

 

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

The raven haired teen sat frozen in his seat, his brush poised over the momentarily forgotten canvas as his formerly empty apartment was suddenly filled with an overwhelming presence. He looked up, knowing full well who had just barged into his apartment through the window, and was met with bright blue eyes burning into his onyx ones. The look on the blond's face was familiar; sad and needy with something just a bit more feral hiding just beneath the surface. This was the mask underneath the mask; the mask of sorrow and regret that was usually covered by Naruto's bright smile, and that still hid the root of his true feelings; the mask only Sai knew how to break.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

 

With just that one look, the paint-laden brush dropped to the floor and Sai stood to meet the other ninja as the blond stalked towards him, quickly backing the raven up against the nearby wall. Not that he minded. Rather, he gripped the blond's tan hands tightly in his pale fingers and pulled as the other pushed.

 

As his back met the solid surface, his hands were pinned above his head momentarily before releasing to grapple and grip into hair and clothing, allowing his own hands to do the same. Their mouths met in a series of deep but frenzied kisses, lips and tongues and teeth barely distinguishable from each other in their urgency.

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Quickly, the heat between them grew. A hot mouth sucked and bit at pale flesh as bruised lips whispered dirty words to further instigate the actions. Sai's hands roamed over heated tan skin, feeling and gripping at the muscles in Naruto's back, the blond already shirtless. Tan, calloused fingers teased over taut stomach muscles before coming to the barrier of the raven's shirt and literally ripping it away to expose the older boy's chest.

 

There was but a moment's hesitation as those rough fingers tenderly ghosted over the fresh expanse of skin, blue eyes watching in wonder and near-reverence as the fingers circled and teased the nipples, causing Sai's breath to hitch at the unexpected affection in the action. Then, seeming to realize his actions, Naruto frowned, his blue eyes hardening and burning once again as his hand moved away to make room for his impatient mouth, the other hand pinching and rubbing roughly at the other nipple. At the action, Sai growled in appreciation, loving the pleasure within the pain and returning it as his nails dug into tan shoulders and scraped down. With this, Naruto gave a growl of his own, sending the vibration straight through Sai's body, and moved his mouth to bite and suck on the other nipple.

 

Naruto's removed hand fell to the light switch on the wall beside them and flipped it down, shrouding them in darkness with only a sliver of moon outside the curtain-less windows, trying to illuminate the occupants within.

 

Even through the darkness, though, Sai could see those azure eyes filled with a myriad of emotions he had yet to even try to name. Determined to fulfill their unspoken pact, his hands left the sculpted shoulders and he gripped one of Naruto's wrists, pulling the blond to his bed.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

The blond ninja fell back onto the bed with a push and a thud, Sai immediately straddling him and pinning his arms above his head. Tongues again met in a fevered battle before Sai's mouth broke away to ravage ears and neck and chest amidst the growled moans, wildly bucking hips, and struggling hands that served as his partner's answer to his ministrations.

 

As he finally moved low enough on the blond's body to have need of letting go of the pinned wrists, he barely had time to pull Naruto's black pants down his thighs before their positions were flipped.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

A lesser ninja may have had the wind knocked out of him at the force Sai's back met the mattress, but his skill, let alone experience with this particular blond ninja, allowed him to take it in stride and merely stare up at Naruto; black eyes wide—not in shock, but in their eagerness to absorb all that was going on around (above) him.

 

The black pants were still around Naruto's thighs, just above his knees, accompanied also by his boxers, which Sai had pulled down along with them. Sai gazed appreciatively at the proudly erect object of his former teasing, licking his lips purposefully as he was caught staring. Blue eyes burned to red, then faded back to blue; flashing between the colors as proof of the feral temperament that came with this particular arousal; this particular coupling. He felt no fear in this, knowing Naruto wasn't really being taken over by the Kyuubi, but was merely letting his baser instincts show through. The ones Sai also had grown accustomed to within himself. The ones they'd discovered thanks to the same person. The one that had unknowingly brought them together in this—though not necessarily healthy—mutually beneficial relationship.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery

 

Two years ago, Naruto, along with Sai and the rest of Team Kakashi, had finally succeeded in bringing Sasuke back from Orochimaru. He was still whole—or, rather, his body was still unharmed and intact, untouched by the snake nin's favorite forbidden jutsu. However, even through Naruto's display of utter devotion, and many subsequent attempts at reconnecting with his long-lost friend (love), Sasuke had purposely kept himself completely cut off. If possible, he'd become even colder—resenting Naruto and all the blond had done for him in order to save him from the fate Orochimaru had set for him.

 

Sai had seen it all play out from the sidelines, watching Sasuke's increasing venom and Naruto's growing desperation. It had made him sick; made something within him hurt and twist painfully. He didn't know what it was, and had returned to his books to try to diagnose his ailment of emotion. Nothing he read had been able to give him a clear cut answer, however, and he'd even gone to Sakura to ask her opinion on the subject. The answer she'd given him had been too off-the-wall and farfetched, however. After all, according to his books, love was one of the most complicated emotions to explain, if not the most. So how could a mere girl, with seemingly no real experience on the matter, presume to diagnose him with such an abstract emotion? So he'd returned to his observing.

 

As time went on, the feeling continued, but a new one began to burn alongside it. This one was as strong as the first, if not stronger. Soon, it consumed his every waking thought when in the presence of either Sasuke or Naruto. Especially Sasuke, but Naruto as well because of the effect the mere mention of the Uchiha's name had on the blond—emotional turmoil roiling in his eyes and his mask barely keeping his face from being stricken with pain—and his name seemed to come up often as the topic of discussion, despite its former designation as `taboo'.

 

After much contemplation, Sai finally came to a definition he felt suited his peculiar emotion. Anger. If one was to believe Sakura, it was jealousy, but Sai thought otherwise. After all, would a jealous person also feel this way towards the person they supposedly loved? If it were mere jealousy, wouldn't he want Naruto as he is now, being jealous of the Naruto the Uchiha was seemingly graced with (nevermind if Sasuke accepted it or not).

 

But, no, Sai was angry. He was angry with Sasuke for his attitude toward his supposed best friend, who had saved him. Angry the Uchiha felt no gratitude, but instead continued to threaten and curse Naruto, and voice his intentions to leave. Angry the Uchiha only cared for his revenge and not for the effect his words and actions had on his blond savior.

 

Sai was angry at Sasuke, but also angry at Naruto.

 

He was angry Naruto continued to fall over himself in his attempts to keep Sasuke in Konoha—getting him returned to active duty, no less! Angry Naruto continued to vehemently swear he would never let Sasuke go. Angry Naruto let the Uchiha walk all over him and break him down, until he was seemingly nothing but a shell of the bright force he once was. He was angry Naruto allowed himself to grow weak in the despair brought on by Sasuke's utter rejection; the Uchiha apparently living for nothing more than to kill his brother and, most likely, die along with him.

 

Yes, Sai was angry, and perhaps it wasn't the most positive of emotions, but it wasn't a weak one either. It burned through him like fire, making him hate the defeated look that gradually overtook the bright blond. He couldn't stand this Naruto.

 

Then one day, during his quietly seething observance, he noticed something else. Naruto chose to let it defeat him. He chose misery, over the other true emotion he felt in this whole situation. When Sai realized this, he was actually surprised. He hadn't actually thought about the fact that Naruto might really be angry too…

Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Sai was brought out of his musing memories by the cock nudging demandingly against his lips. He went to grab Naruto's hips, and try to prop himself into a better position, but found he could not. In his distraction, his hands had been bound and pinned to the wall with a deeply-seated, chakra-laced kunai. He struggled a bit, grinning in satisfaction as the kunai did not give and he felt the material around his wrists burn slightly with the forced friction.

 

A huskily voiced command caused him to lick his lips, the tip of his tongue sliding teasingly against the head of Naruto's erection with the action. Then he opened his lips wider, sucking on the head a bit and then dragging the tip of his tongue along the underside until it could reach no further. That's when Naruto started thrusting himself into the deliciously warm, wet cavern; not enough to gag Sai, as he'd learned the hard way in their early adventures that the end result would be painful for both of them (Sai tended to bite in those situations, and not in any way that could be deemed pleasurable), but enough to pull a groan from both of them at the erotic action of fucking Sai's mouth.

 

As Naruto's hips pistoned towards his face, Sai felt the skin of strong legs rubbing against his sides and realized Naruto had also completely removed his pants during the same time he'd been able to bind Sai's hands. He moaned around Naruto's arousal, his own growing more and more as he took in everything about the situation: Naruto's body, naked and pinning his to the bed; Naruto's arms, braced and flexing against the wall as he controlled the depth of Sai's blowjob; Naruto's cock, filling his mouth, salty and slick with precum and saliva; Naruto's eyes, glowing in the darkness, the anger once in them evolved into lust—a carnal need; Naruto's pants and moans and growls as Sai's tongue played along his shaft, teasing the slit before sucking hard on the head.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

Naruto pulled out of Sai's mouth, and the raven haired man soon found himself divested of the rest of his clothing, his face suddenly pressed against the mattress and ass in the air like an offering to the Kyuubi vessel that had just shredded his pants to reach it. His shoulders felt pulled a bit, his hands still being pinned to the wall, but there was enough twisting room in the material around his wrists for him to be flipped to this position without causing any harm, other than slight momentary discomfort.

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

He felt his cheeks be pulled apart and the damp head of Naruto's dick press against his entrance, circling it teasingly and spreading the fresh beads of precum around the opening. Then, in one swift movement, Naruto slammed forward, simultaneously pulling Sai's hips back. Both let out a sharp cry at the action, neither caring about `adjusting' or `taking it slow' or anything else along those lines; merely feeling the intense need—the need to fulfill their craving; to sate their lust and, in turn, their anger. At least for the time being.

 

With this, they both continued moving, one towards the other. Naruto snapping his hips forward, every once in awhile making a short, calculated circle of his hips, as Sai thrust himself back with equal fervor. The barely lubricated friction burned deliciously within him, fueling his soft but sure taunts to Naruto, spurring the blond on until he was straight out ramming into Sai, the raven's head braced precariously against his fisted hands to avoid his head smashing unceremoniously into the wall. Still, he knew he wouldn't leave this ordeal without a few bumps and bruises, but as his prostate was repeatedly hit, he couldn't find it within himself to care and moaned in pleasure instead.

 

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded

 

Sai had finally figured out, just several months ago, that Naruto's whole changed demeanor was largely due to one fact: his guilt. Guilt over not being able to save Sasuke the first time. Guilt over dragging Sasuke back unwillingly. But, most of all, guilt over being angry that he should feel guilty at all.

 

In truth, the younger man was truly angry. Angry Sasuke had ever left. Angry Sasuke had been so eager and willing to go to such extreme, fatal lengths to get the power he wanted. Angry Sasuke hadn't trusted him to be able to help him reach his goals. Angry Sasuke still didn't trust him to do so. Angry Sasuke refused to just put his quest for revenge behind him and allow himself to be happy. To be happy with Naruto.

 

Angry Sasuke refused to return his love.

You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you

 

When Sai realized Naruto's true pain was having such intense anger towards the Uchiha—the one he'd loved for so long as a best friend, and now, maybe more—his own anger intensified. Why should Naruto have to cover up this raw emotion with such a pathetic-looking mask? Of course, growing up being honed as a perfect, emotionless shinobi tool, Sai had been taught that emotions made you weak. However, being around Naruto and his friends, he'd come to see that they could actually make you stronger; especially in Naruto's case.

 

This latest display of emotions, though, truly did make Naruto weak. He'd been losing his drive and his everlasting, inexhaustible spirit. However, Sai felt that if Naruto let himself show his anger, the former Naruto would return. That was what he truly wanted and hoped for the day he'd instigated a Sasuke-rage-induced fight between himself and Naruto, which had almost surprisingly, yet inevitably, led to their rage-induced sessions of copulation; sex. Well, fucking was what it truly was, wasn't it…

You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you

 

So now, whenever Naruto had another argument with Sasuke. Or finished training with Sasuke and felt completely unproductive about the turn of events, or frustrated beyond belief—either because of his continued attraction to the other raven haired, onyx eyed, pale skinned male; Sasuke's utter refusal to acknowledge any such feelings or attractions within himself; or both. Or any myriad of other things that could increasingly easily bring Naruto's anger to the surface lately… Naruto would find Sai and take the only solace in his anger he could seem to find.

 

And Sai not only willingly gave it, but continued to encourage it. After all, he now knew what it was like to suppress your emotions. Surely it couldn't be good for Naruto, such an emotionally-driven guy, to do the same. Of course, it would be a lie to say he didn't also enjoy these sessions.

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

 

And Sai hoped that, when the day finally came that the Uchiha left again (and he knew it would come) that, rather than follow after the other boy again like a long-lost puppy, Naruto would stay and take his anger at Sasuke out on him instead. Surely, in the Uchiha's absence, Naruto would come to realize the other male wasn't even worth all the energy he put into him. Surely, with time, Naruto would simply come to Sai for Sai.

Pain, without love

 

Of course, this still didn't mean Sakura was right.

Pain, can't get enough

 

He still didn't really love Naruto.

Pain, I like it rough

 

He just needed this as much as the blond, for different reasons. But not for love.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

He just didn't want to lose this connection, this utterly indescribable feeling of emotion. He didn't want to go back to simply being an emotionless tool, with a mask of serenity and forced happiness that anyone could see through.

Pain, without love

 

It wasn't a lie.

Pain, I can't get enough

 

Having emotions really was worth this.

Pain, I like it rough

 

It was worth it, because with this, he felt human again.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

Or, finally, since he couldn't remember ever feeling so before.

Pain, without love

 

He gasped as Naruto's hand ruffled the back of his hair before gripping a handful. He knew without being able to see it that it was disheveled into the spiky style of a certain other raven haired shinobi.

Pain, I can't get enough

 

Naruto's other hand gripped Sai's hip, fingers digging into pale flesh bruisingly as he pulled the older ninja's body back harder and harder to meet his frantic thrusts. The hand in Sai's hair forced his neck to crane back, his mouth permanently open now in a near-silent scream as the pain and pleasure built together towards climax.

Pain, I like it rough

 

Naruto came with a growled moan and a deep, final thrust. His pulsating cock pushed right up against Sai's prostate and added enough to the previous stimulation it had been receiving to push Sai over the edge without one touch to his erection.

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

As Naruto softened and pulled out, he barely had enough presence of mind to pull the kunai from the wall to free Sai before falling to the side, completely spent and exhausted. Sai lay there, not even bothering to finish the job of untying his wrists yet as he listened to Naruto's breathing even out into soft snores, the heat of his formerly angry chakra now cooled.

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

 

And as the tears began to defiantly leak through the lashes he had squeezed shut, he again told himself it was merely the after effects of such rough play. It was because the orgasm had been so strong that now the tingle left from the wave that had crashed through his body and down his spine was turning him numb.

 

Rather feel pain

 

*****

Owari