Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Path of No Regrets: Renewal ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: This may come as a shock, but in the week's worth of time since this fic was last updated, I have not come to own Naruto. I know, I know. I couldn't believe it either. So much for all of that “dreams come true!” BS… I feel like such a chump.

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This is over my head
But underneath my feet
`Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
…I wish that it was just that easy

--Lifehouse, “Somewhere In Between”

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Path of No Regrets

-Chapter 1-

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Naruto's dreams were red.

Red like Sasuke's eyes. Red like his blood spattered on Sasuke's arm as that arm pierced through Naruto (he really was fighting seriously after all, wasn't he), right through his lung. Red like that chakra bubbling forth, so much power that he couldn't control it; so much power that it hurt to use it. He had never been able to recall the fights where he'd used Kyuubi's chakra very well afterward. But he definitely knew that using Kyuubi's power had never actually hurt before. Not until now.

But he'd had to do it. There had been no choice; he had to bring Sasuke back (Sasuke who was trying to kill him), and that was the only way. Nothing else had gotten through to him, and if he hadn't fought him he'd have left, left just like that, gone straight off to Orochimaru (Orochimaru who killed old man Hokage), who wanted Sasuke's body, who might have killed Sasuke, and Naruto would have lost him forever. Just like that.

He'd had to do it.

It almost hadn't worked, though. It had been close, too close. But in the end it was all right. He'd blacked out after that final clash between his Rasengan and Sasuke's Chidori, and he didn't know what had happened after that, except that he'd woken up very briefly to find himself on his sensei's back as the jounin raced from tree to tree. He'd glanced to his side groggily, and had seen another Kakashi running alongside them, which didn't make sense, but Naruto hadn't cared. Because that other Kakashi had been carrying Sasuke. And that was all Naruto needed to know. That was all that mattered.

So he'd drifted off again, and dreamed dreams of red. And Sasuke, who he'd almost failed; Sasuke who—

(was trying to kill you)

—who'd called him his closest friend. Sasuke, who knew the same loneliness as him. Who had been in the darkness all this time. Who he'd promised—he needed—to save.

Sasuke, who had tried to kill him, but who he could forgive. Because. He had to.

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When he woke up again, he was in the hospital, and Kakashi was sitting on a chair beside his bed, nose buried in a copy of Icha Icha Violence.

They were back in Konoha. Which meant—

Naruto sat bolt upright. Immediately, Kakashi put a calm hand on his chest to restrain him. “Not so fast; you should take it easy for a little bit.”

Naruto barely heard him as he urgently glanced around the room. “Where's—?”

“Sasuke's all right. We brought him back along with you. He's resting in another room right now.”

Naruto let out a small breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and started to ease back down again. Then another thought hit him and he looked back at Kakashi anxiously. “What about—”

“Everyone else made it too. There were a few close calls, and a couple of the others on your team are still in intensive care, but they're all going to be okay.”

Neji. Shikamaru. Kiba, Chouji, Thick-Brows. All okay. Everyone was all right.

Naruto leaned back, and for the first time in days, let a grin of relief spread across his face. He looked back at Kakashi. “So the mission was a success.”

“The first part of this is over and done with, yes,” Kakashi acknowledged. Then his face turned unexpectedly grim. “But we're not out in the clear just yet.”

Naruto's face fell and he looked away from Kakashi suddenly. Of course. Of course it wasn't going to be quite that easy. He'd known that, but…

But he really didn't want to deal with this now. Not now, not just yet. Did they really need to—?

“Naruto, I have a few questions that I need you to answer for me.”

Naruto sighed, still looking away from him. “Do I have to?” he tried vainly.

“We need to know what happened back there, Naruto,” Kakashi pressed, gentle but firm.

“Now?”

“Now. There are a lot of things that need to be decided, and a lot of it rests on us knowing exactly what happened between you and Sasuke back there.”

Naruto felt a brief rise of anger. “And who's `us'?”

“The Hokage, and the Advisors. They need to know.”

“It's none of their business,” Naruto said hotly.

“Like it or not, Naruto, it is.”

“It's not!” Naruto turned back to Kakashi angrily. “It's between me and him! There's no reason for anyone else to butt in—especially not them! It has nothing to do with them!”

“Naruto.” Kakashi sounded sterner now.

“It isn't—”

“Sasuke left the village of his own free will,” Kakashi said sharply.

Naruto shut up and cast his eyes downward.

“It was his own decision; Sakura's story confirmed that much. He left Konoha willingly to go to Orochimaru, one of our worst enemies at this moment. If they decide to, they're more than within their rights to treat this as an act of treason. And Sasuke could be punished accordingly.”

Naruto's head jerked back up toward Kakashi's as his mouth dropped open in horror.

“But…” He met Kakashi's gaze in shock, hardly believing what his sensei had just said. “But—he didn't—he's not…” He gripped his sheet tightly, not at all liking the fear suddenly swimming into his gut. “They can't!”

“Naruto, listen.” Now Kakashi was looking at him very seriously, his expression grave. “I want to help him as much as you do. But to do that, I need you to tell me exactly what happened before I found the two of you. You're the only one who knows; Shikamaru reported that he and you were separated, and it seems that Rock Lee was the last person to see both you and Sasuke. And that wasn't at the Valley of the End.”

Naruto looked back at Kakashi silently for a minute as he realized he was right. Then he glanced away toward the window, thinking about what Kakashi had just said. Finally he opened his mouth, hesitated for just a split second, then said, “I don't remember.”

Silence on Kakashi's end. Then: “Anything at all?”

“I blacked out,” Naruto replied firmly.

Damned if they're gonna use me to incriminate him. Bastards can try all they like. It's none of their business.

Kakashi was regarding him thoughtfully. After a moment, he mused, “So, you caught up to Sasuke at the valley?”

“Yes,” Naruto answered after a beat.

“And the two of you…?”

“…Talked.”

(He even called me his best friend, Sensei. You should have been there, it was touching.)

“About…?”

“…He told me to go back.”

“To Konoha.”

“Yes.”

“You didn't.”

“No.”

“You stayed. And then you…?”

“…I don't remember.” Naruto closed his eyes.

“…You blacked out.”

“Yeah.”

Kakashi was silent for so long that Naruto almost started to wonder if he'd actually left. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Kakashi resting his chin in his hand, looking at nothing in particular, his face unreadable.

“You ripped your jacket while you were trying to catch up to him?” he asked at last.

Naruto froze. Kakashi's visible eye, however, remained fixed on whatever particular spot in the room he found so interesting. So at last, Naruto answered, “Got it torn when I was fighting that spiky bone bastard guy. Forgot his name. Thick-Brows fought him, you can ask him.”

Kakashi nodded. “All right.”

Then he mimed a yawn and stood up. Turning to face the door, he said mildly, “Sakura, you can come in now.”

And for the second time in two minutes, Naruto's body went rigid.

There was a quiet shuffling noise by the door. Then it opened, and a familiar pink head stuck itself hesitantly into the room.

“Um,” she mumbled apologetically. “…Sorry about that, Sensei.”

“It's all right,” Kakashi said in a `no-harm-done' tone of voice. “But make a note—we need to work on your stealth techniques when we get a chance.”

He smiled when Sakura's face flushed, and held up a placating hand. “Ahh, just teasing, sorry.” He patted her head in a fatherly manner, then abruptly sang, “Well, I'll leave you two to talk.”

“Sensei?” Sakura glanced up at him questioningly.

“Sakura, I trust you can catch Naruto up on the rest of what's been happening while he's been out?” When she nodded after a beat, he continued, “Well in that case, I'm off. I have a lot of things that need doing. The two of you behave, now.”

And with that, he vanished—literally, puff of smoke and all—leaving Sakura and Naruto alone.

Naruto found that it was difficult to meet Sakura's eyes, and he blankly wondered why. It wasn't like he had anything to hide from her.

Except everything, that is.

But he had fulfilled his promise to her. He'd brought Sasuke back. So why was it still so hard to face her now?

Finally, in defiance of his own bizarrely guilty thoughts, he looked up at her and grinned widely. “Hey, Sakura-chan.”

Sakura met him with a sad smile, and Naruto's grin faltered. She looked like she was about to cry—what the hell—why were girls so—?

“Naruto…” Her head was tilted downward now; he couldn't see her eyes.

“Yeah?” he said quietly.

“…Thank you.” She looked back up at him, eyes brimming. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable and oddly overwhelmed, he nodded.

“It was nothing. It… I promised.” He paused, then grinned back at her again. “And I never go back on my word. Right?”

There—there it was. A real smile out of her, finally.

“…Right.”

She sat down in the chair Kakashi had just vacated, and for a minute it looked like she was maybe going to say or do something else, but then it passed and she seemed to decide against it. So they both just sat there for a short bit.

“So…” Naruto said presently. “How long was I out?”

“Not very long, from what I heard,” Sakura answered. “A few hours, maybe. I haven't been here all that long myself; I only heard that you guys were back a little while ago. Ino-pig told me.”

Naruto nodded.

“Have you… gone to see him yet?” he asked finally.

Sakura paused for a moment, then shook her head.

“No. They wouldn't… they're not allowing anyone to see him just yet.”

“But he's okay, right?” Naruto pressed, glancing up anxiously. “Kakashi-sensei said…”

“He's all right, I think. He was in worse condition than you when you got here, though. He…” She drew in a shaky breath. “The nurse I talked to said it was pretty bad. Chakra exhaustion, I think it was. But he's okay now. He's sleeping.” She hesitated again, then added: “They've got Anbu guarding him.”

Naruto met her eyes seriously, and a shared thought passed between them.

“…They're not sure if he's going to try to leave again,” Naruto said aloud even though it was unnecessary.

Sakura nodded. After a moment, she said, “Naruto… do you really not remember anything that happened?”

Naruto looked away. Then he murmured, barely louder than a whisper, “I wish I didn't.”

Sakura said nothing.

“…We fought,” Naruto confessed at last. “Me and him. Again.”

Sakura nodded, looking as if it didn't surprise her. She got up and walked over to the window.

“…It's hot in here,” she said quietly. “You should open this up.” She pushed the window open. “Get more of a breeze.”

“Sakura-chan…”

“It's okay, Naruto.”

She turned to him suddenly, and smiled.

“It's okay. You brought him back to us. That's enough. The rest… we can take care of that one step at a time.”

Naruto stared at her, and was reminded yet again of just why he loved Sakura-chan so much. He smiled.

“Yeah.”

As Sakura turned to walk away from the window, he added suddenly, “Sakura-chan.”

She looked at him questioningly.

“…We'll be a team again,” he promised, and as he said it, he forced himself to believe it. “We will. We'll get that cold bastard to snap out of it one way or the other, whether he likes it or not.” He grinned.

She matched his grin, and nodded in return. “Yeah.”

Then she turned toward the door and stated, “Shikamaru, you can come in now.”

There was a noise by the door, before it opened and Shikamaru stepped in.

“…Yo, Naruto. Sakura.” He raised his hand slightly in greeting, then stuck it back in his pocket and glanced between the other two awkwardly.

“No worries,” Sakura said lightly. “But you might want to work a little more on your stealth skills.” And with that, she waved goodbye to Naruto and stepped out of the room.

Shikamaru's eyes followed her for a moment before he sighed and stepped over to straddle the once-again-abandoned chair. He looked at Naruto—who was trying not to laugh—and shook his head tiredly.

“…Women.”

---

Shikamaru stayed for a while to keep Naruto company and to fill him in on the rest of the details he hadn't yet heard—what had happened after Naruto had broken off from the group, what condition each of the others was in, and everything else that had been going on. To his credit, Shikamaru seemed to immediately sense Naruto's reluctance to discuss what had happened on his own end of the mission, and tactfully avoided the topic. Eventually the conversation even steered away from the subject of the mission altogether, and the two actually managed to converse about absolutely nothing for a very respectable length of time.

Iruka-sensei had shown up (bringing ramen with him, no less, which delighted Naruto to no end; hospital food had never sat very well with him) by the time Shikamaru had to leave. He stayed for quite a while himself, so that by the time he finally had to depart as well, Naruto had managed to pass a good several hours without thinking about Sasuke or the Valley of the End or those few dream-images he could really stand to do without.

Now, though, visiting hours were over, it was night, and Naruto found himself alone with his own thoughts for the first time since everything had happened. And with nothing left to distract him, he found that he could think of nothing but what he had been trying to avoid thinking about at all costs. Red eyes, red blood, red chakra. And, perhaps most painful of all, those three words that, taken in their context, he still could not begin to understand.

“My closest friend…”

He rolled over on his mattress and tried desperately to get the image out of his head, but he couldn't. It lingered, taunting him bitterly.

Sasuke's eyes… they had been so cold when he'd said that. Hardened, empty, unfeeling… like he hadn't even meant it at all.

But then, as the fight had gone on… he'd changed. Opened, somehow; softened… not much, hardly at all at first, but enough so that Naruto had been able to see, just for a moment, the real Sasuke, the one he'd known all along. The one who'd saved his life when they'd fought Haku, who had taken a blow meant for Naruto and had felt so frighteningly, terribly helpless in Naruto's arms, and had pleaded, “Don't die,” before closing his eyes and going limp and terrifying Naruto in a way he'd never been terrified before. The one who'd looked Naruto in the eye at the chuunin exam and said, “I want to fight you,” and with just those simple words somehow made Naruto feel happier than he could remember being in almost his entire life. The one who'd broken his fall during the fight against Gaara, told him he didn't want to see his precious people die, and just like that had made Naruto remember what he himself was fighting for in the first place.

He'd caught a glimpse of that Sasuke again, for just a moment, and ironically it was that Sasuke who now haunted Naruto most of all. Because in that one fleeting moment, Naruto had seen just how much that Sasuke, even as he had been ruthlessly attacking Naruto, was hurting.

Hurting.

Naruto did not fully understand the reasons why—it had to do with his brother, he knew that much, but the full extent of it still eluded him—but if it had been enough to drive him to this, to leave Konoha, to try to go to Orochimaru, then he knew it had to be bad.

And it was the thought of Sasuke in that much pain, that much suffering, that scared Naruto most of all. Because regardless of whether or not Sasuke had meant what he'd said, on Naruto's end, the words were true.

“To me, you have become my closest friend.”

He sighed, aloud.

That, he knew, was really why he didn't want to talk to anyone about the fight, and why he still felt guilty facing Sakura-chan. He hadn't fulfilled his promise, or the mission. Not really. He'd brought Sasuke back. But he hadn't yet saved him. He was still in the darkness, in a place Naruto had not yet managed to reach.

He wasn't even sure if he could.

All he knew was that, for Sasuke's sake, and for his own and Sakura's and everyone else's… he had to keep trying. Even if it meant putting the rest of it behind him… forgetting, or at least pretending it had never happened.

For Sasuke's sake, for his closest friend… he could keep the dreams to himself.

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-to be continued-

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Author's Notes:

Ohh… this chapter. I just don't know about this chapter. It's too short, Naruto is too angsty (or maybe he's not angsty enough—I just can't tell, that's the problem), Sakura is too fleeting (silly girl just skipped in and out; but in her defense, she's still worried about Sasuke, and I'm sure she planned to visit Naruto again later), and the details about just what is going to happen with Sasuke are too vague. …Although, that last was really intentional—that'll be explored a lot more in the next chapter, when Sasuke himself appears again. (Ha, and speaking of, here I am saying that Naruto's too angsty… oh, irony.)

Oh well, regardless of how much I like it, this chapter was still necessary to start setting things up, so at least it's done and finished now. Feedback is golden, as always. ;)