Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ People Lie ❯ Interlude: Twenty Lies ( Chapter 9 )

20 Lies

 

20 truths, People Lie style.

 

 

 

1. Naruto never stole. He'd never stolen anything before Mizuki gave him the assignment to pilfer the scroll of kinjutsu from the Hokage's tower. Ibiki said it was wrong to steal from your own people, it ran counter to proven principles that made for a healthy village. It wasn't like he needed to steal, after all. As an orphan and person of interest to the Sandaime Hokage, he was provided a monthly stipend to cover his living expenses. As an apprentice and person of interest to the ANBU division head Morino Ibiki, he was taught how to properly manage his money and get the things he needed. He wasn't wealthy by any means, but he never lacked for what he truly needed. All that being said, when he'd stolen the forbidden scroll, it had been a thrill far beyond the purely intellectual. Naruto found he liked stealing. He knew he'd have to watch that impulse lest it, like all vices, prove a weakness and lead to his downfall.

Naruto to Ibiki.

 

2. Ibiki hated his job. Most people who knew him thought he was a sadist, given that he was the one to perform tortures on people deliberately trained and conditioned to withstand pain and deprivation, but that wasn't true. Ibiki hated pain, hated death, hated the sight of blood. He'd been tortured several times in the past, twice by amateurs who thought that a red hot kunai pressed into flesh was scary, and once by a professional who truly did enjoy his work. Ibiki knew exactly what the people turned into his care were going through and the thought sickened him. But despite his loathing of pain, Ibiki was a pragmatist above all. Konoha was the strongest and the most compassionate of all the ninja villages. Just by existing, Konoha reduced the amount of pain in the world. Konoha had to be protected, and sometimes, someone had to be tortured to protect it. He might not like it, but it needed to be done, and he was the best in Konoha to do it.

Ibiki to Naruto.

 

3. Sasuke still loved his brother. Despite the mind rape in Itachi's genjutsu, despite the death of his clan, his father, and especially his mother, despite the pity the village heaped on him, despite the utter destruction of everything he'd ever held dear, Sasuke still missed his brother, the only family he had left. Itachi told him to become strong, he'd admitted that to the ANBU who'd questioned him after the slaughter. What he'd never admitted was why Itachi wanted him to become strong. When Sasuke had finally turned himself into the perfect killing machine and surpassed his brother in the ninja arts, he would finally have Itachi's respect and be invited to take his place at his side.

Sasuke to Itachi, as imagined in a revenge fantasy.

 

4. Hinata had a deep seated rage lurking in her heart, a need to hurt those around her. They say it's always the quiet ones, and never had that been more true than in the case of Hinata Hyuga. Abandoned after the death of her mother, effectively disowned by her father, dispassionately ignored by her sister, mocked and denigrated by her cousin, and regarded with a mix of disgust, fear, and hate by the rest of the branch family, Hinata was a person alone in a crowd. Even outside of her family, she remained shy and hesitant around people, but most people misunderstood the reason why. It wasn't because she was afraid of them, no, not at all. She was afraid of herself, and what she knew she was capable of.

Hinata to Naruto.

 

5. Kakashi read porn because it was a tiny slice of a life he could never have for himself. A life where people were shallow, concerned largely with their own pleasure, where men met women and women met women and sometimes where men met several women and fell in love and had a few minor squabbles but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a good solid chapter of kinky sex and everyone smelled good and no one had been raped or stabbed in the chest with a kunai or watched a comrade get crushed by an avalanche of chakra infused rock right before their eyes- or in short, a world where nothing really mattered, people just thought it did, and a smart, strong, skilled person would be free to just be himself for once in his life. Kakashi sometimes had to stop reading because his one visible eye would be clouded in tears and his fingers would be slowly tightening on the pages and his heart ached, because he was a smart, strong, skilled person in a world where things really did matter yet it seemed like almost everyone around him was an idiot and thought nothing did. Like so many other people, Kakashi wanted something he could never have.

Kakashi to a scadalized, but cute, village girl.

 

6. Iruka wore the scar across his nose as a reminder of his shame. It wasn't just so everyone else could see it, no one still alive even knew what it represented, but Iruka knew. He could just see the break in the smooth profile of his nose if he crossed his eyes and stared at it. In a village known to have produced some of the greatest medic nins of the last three hundred years, techniques for removing scars, especially extremely visible, iconic identifier scars, were quite advanced. Even an extremely minor illusion, easy to create and maintain, could have given him back his original face. But Iruka didn't want to get rid of the scar, for it was a constant reminder that he must never run away again, like he'd done once against a Mist ninja who'd nearly blinded him and was preparing to run his teammate through. He'd failed Shiziro, and if their jonin leader hadn't shown up just then, his cowardice would have cost him a friend and companion. He'd never ran away from a fight to save a comrade since, and he never would.

Iruka to himself.

 

7. Sakura had no limits to what she would do to prove herself to Sasuke. An average kunoichi throughout school, her sharp intellect was dragged down not by her lackluster body, but by a weak spirit. In another world, with a little more encouragement, Sakura might have discovered a warrior's soul, a rebel, a fearless, feisty, ferocious persona within herself. Sometimes, she felt like something was missing, and she knew herself to be an incomplete person. Desperately, she latched onto the one thing that seemed like it might complete her, the single most perfect man she'd ever seen. He was larger than life, he would fill her up. And so she would do anything she had to do to get him. Lie. Cheat. Steal. If she believed he would love her if she brought him the still beating hearts of her parents, there would be two fewer Haruno in Konoha that night.

Sakura to herself.

 

8. Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were tremendous disappointments to their parents. True, Ino had a truly deft touch with her family's mind jutsu and a recently discovered love of beating the shit out of people with good old fashioned taijutsu that brought a tear to her father's eye. Shikamaru was a quiet prodigy at games of strategy and puzzles, better than his father at that age. Chouji could smell the faintest trace of arsenic in a single dumpling in an entire banquet, and had the immense physical strength that far outstripped even his most advanced classmates. No, the disappointment their parents felt in them had nothing to do with their skills, and everything to do with how they got along. There was no soul melding friendship there, just the cool all business politeness of three people willing to work with each other because they were told to.

Ino to Sakura.

 

9. Tenten resented the rivalry between Neji and Rock Lee. Neji was cool, strong, aloof, nearly perfect in bearing and ability. Lee was coarse, unrefined, friendly, and had the will of a force of nature. Their clashes were epic and mighty. Tenten was confident, skilled, and feisty, and she was also a woman. So she hated being caught between them, unable to encourage Lee without a disdainful sniff from Neji, feeling guilty about complimenting Neji on a job well done since everything he did was well done. She was swept up in the maelstrom as they pushed themselves to greater and greater heights of skill and daring. Tenten didn't dare let them too close to each other, but when they glared at each other with hate and envy and worry, she felt like her skin would be scorched from each side. They strove against each other over every little thing, including her. She was not a piece of meat to be fought over, a prize to be won or stolen. No girl, especially not Tenten, would want such a thing.

Tenten to the boys.

 

10. Shino feared the loss of his individuality. As a living hive, he wasn't one, but many. As a member of a clan, he wasn't just one, but one of many. His clan was one of many in Konoha. Konoha was just one city in the Fire Country. There were more countries, more islands, more continents, and, above all, more people than any one person should be aware of. But Shino was Aburame. They knew all about numbers. He knew how many bugs he had, down to the last injured five legged insect living under the skin of his neck. He knew how many parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins there were in his clan. He knew how many people there were in Konoha. He had a pretty good idea of how many people there were in his country. He even had a pretty good ballpark figure for the number of people in the world. To the average person, this was just a number. But to Shino, it meant something real. He was just one of many. A great many. Shino kept it all in perspective, that was what he was good at. But sometimes, the one thing a human, and Shino, for all the bugs living in and on him, was human, can't afford to have is a sense of perspective.

Shino to Kiba.

 

11. There was only one person on Team Gai who didn't wear thong underwear. Gai wore thongs. Panty lines under skin tight spandex? That is so not keeping in with the spirit of youth. Lee wore thongs. He dressed exactly like Gai, and agreed with him. A smoothly profiled ass was indeed best to show off your youthful fire. Neji wore thongs, really, traditional twisted undyed cloth underwear. He was Hyuga. They were big on tradition. Tenten wore thongs. She was a beautiful young woman surrounded by cute males saturated in testosterone. She liked feeling sexy, and there's nothing like a strip of silk right in the crack of your ass to make you feel attractive. Every single person on Team Gai claimed to wear thong underwear. One of them was lying and too ashamed to admit it.

Gai to Kakashi.

 

12. Hinata was the first one to kill another person on Team Seven. Naruto, for all his dismissal of his emotions, hadn't actually killed the man he'd helped torture to death in the sterile halls under a nondescript building in the center ring of Konoha. Ibiki had offered the man's life to him. Handed him the scalpel. Closed his fingers around the handle. But the childlike wonder had left Naruto's eyes when he finally realized that this was it, he was going to kill someone. And he couldn't do it. He was still a child, despite what had happened to him. He didn't yet have it in him to take a man's life in cold blood. It was a lingering source of shame, a secret known only to him and Ibiki. He would be more ruthless, colder, and far, far more cruel to his enemies than he ever would have been had it been his hands that opened the man's neck and caused his life to drain away.

Naruto to Sasuke.

 

13. Kiba fell in love with Sakura the first time she spoke up and told both he and Shino that they were wrong. His sense of smell was comparable to most dogs, and he'd always thought she smelled pretty. Like jasmine and wildflowers, of soft sheets and a nearly spotless environment. His mother was many admirable things, but a fastidious housekeeper she was not. Sakura smelled like a fresh, healthy female, plenty to get his interest up, and she was easy on the eyes, too. But it wasn't until she spoke, really, honestly said what was on her mind, that he realized she was more than a pretty face. There was someone home in there, and Kiba rather thought he loved her.

Kiba to Sakura.

 

14. Naruto loved taking care of his bonsai trees. He started with one, given to him by Ibiki. He'd added another when he'd taken Hinata under his wing. The third he'd added when they'd been teamed up with Sasuke. If asked, he'd say he liked them because they were little physical representations of perfection as seen through his eyes. Sophisticated, thoughtful, powerful men kept bonsai trees. Naruto liked the thought of being ranked as such. Really, though, Naruto just liked occasionally snipping pieces off of a living being.

Naruto to Kakashi.

 

15. Kakashi didn't much like Maito Gai. In fact, if it wasn't for the concealment of his mask, everyone around him would see the flexing of his jaw muscles as he ground his teeth whenever Gai showed up wearing bright green spandex and a moronic smile. Gai accused him of acting hip and cool, since Kakashi obviously pretended indifference whenever he was around. Gai was sharp enough to spot the act, but too self centered to determine the reason why. Kakashi will never admit it, he owes the freakishly strong taijutsu master for too many last minute saves to ever break the poor guy's heart, but really, he'd be a lot happier if Gai would just leave him alone.

Kakashi to a mocking Anko after he lost a copy of Icha Icha in a bet with Gai.

 

16. The Sandaime Hokage had a pretty strong suspicion that Naruto was going to be Hokage one day. He had the intelligence, the drive, the wit, and the power. Yes, there was the whole issue about the Kyubi and the villager's hatred, but the boy was a bright, cheerful spot of orange in a sea of drab green and grey. When it came to honest talent, the boy shone with a brilliance not seen since his father had sacrificed himself. The Hokage knew that that kind of talent and drive is what it takes to be the supreme leader of a ninja village.

Sarutobi to Naruto, a month after he became Ibiki's unofficial apprentice.

 

17. Anko and Kurenai slept together once. Or, more specifically, Anko, Kurenai, and Asuma had slept together once. It was a lengthy class A mission, requiring Kurenai's genjutsu talents, Asuma's skill at close quarters, and Anko's specialty, a ruthless, brutal killing spree. It had also involved a three day stay at a seedy inn in southern Fire, waiting on a contact to drop off vital information. Sake was involved. Kurenai woke up with a funny taste in her mouth and an unexpected hand cupping her breast. Anko woke up with a snakebite on her hand and a serious need of a shower. Asuma didn't wake up until the next day.

Anko to Asuma.

 

18. Shikamaru was never allowed to sign the family summoning contract for the deer of the forest. It wasn't really his fault, but regardless, the ancient, powerful stag that was his mother's most powerful summon had made it clear in no uncertain terms that the lanky boy would never be allowed to call on the herds of Konoha for aid if he needed it. The best he and his parents were able to achieve by the way of appeasement was that his children, assuming he had any, would be allowed to prove themselves, and, if found worthy, would be allowed to resume the chain of partnership created by the founder of the Nara clan. The reason the deer would never forgive Shikamaru? Chouji had killed and eaten one of them when he was eight years old. Ordinarily, the actions of others don't directly affect the status of one of the Nara clan, but then, Shikamaru had been a party to it. He'd sneaked into his mother's kitchen and stolen a box of pepper and a bottle of soy sauce to season the unfortunate doe.

Ino to Sakura.

 

19. Asuma was Konohamaru's father. That would have surprised Konohamaru, his friends, his teachers, and indeed everyone in Konoha except Asuma, his aunt who he thought was his mother, his adopted father, and his grandfather. Asuma was a young man once, and, as young men often do, made an indiscretion with a young village girl impressed by the handsome young shinobi. Asuma was seventeen. The girl was sixteen. Asuma wasn't ready for fatherhood. The girl wasn't ready for motherhood. She died giving birth. Asuma, quite horrified by the whole affair, gladly gave responsibility for the boy over to his older sister, who raised him as her own. Asuma never really connected with the boy. His father lost a great deal of respect for him. But, as things sometimes do, it turned out for the best. Asuma's sister and husband were far better parents for Konohamaru than Asuma would have been. One day, Asuma thinks he might sit down and have a chat with the boy. But then, perhaps not.

Asuma to Anko.

 

20. Naruto had a plan for everything. It wasn't always a perfect plan, sometimes there were holes. Great big glaring holes. But he thought constantly, always seeking to learn more about the world around him, to make better plans, to mitigate contingencies. Good plan, bad plan, somewhere in between plan, he always had one. He never ever acted without thinking things through, because that just wasn't who he was. He was the spider in the shadows, the puppet master, the guerilla leader, the one who would rule. And it was in convincing everyone around him that he always had a plan that he'd actually succeeded. The truth was, he never had less than three.

Naruto to everyone he allowed close.

 

 

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Remember, every statement is a falsehood.

Some of them are the opposite of truth. Some of them are related to the truth only in that the person telling the lie wishes the statement was true. Most of them have some element of truth to it, but the details are misleading and the fundamental statement isn't true.

As a general rule, if you want to know the truth of things, look at the details. A good lie has a dozen true, provable details, but they're all twisted to say something completely wrong. Also, think about who is telling the like, and to whom.

 

To judge by the list, Naruto lies a lot. Some characters lie because they want something. Some characters lie to themselves. Some characters get lied to cause they're easy marks. Some characters lie to influence others. Some characters lie because it's funny. But the point is, everybody lies sometimes.

Hey, people lie.