Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Photograph ❯ Photograph ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Theme #1: Look over here

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“Man plans. God laughs.” - Jewish saying

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The Chunnin Exams. The pinnacle event of every young shinobi's life. The moment that every gennin dreamed of and dreaded. The opportunity to gain in rank, to show what the village was capable of, to show the teachers that they were ready for the tougher missions. Teachers, students, and examiners were pouring into the Hidden Leaf Village with the goal of finding which of the young shinobi were ready to take that next step. The village was filled to bursting with hopeful genin, experienced chunin, and some rather bored jounin.

“What kind of shinobi are you? You can't handle a mission this simple?” The Hokage of Hidden Leaf Village looked as though she was going to explode at any moment.

Rock Lee winced and looked around, trying to see if there was any way he could help. True, it had sounded like a simple mission when Tsunade ordered every ninja in the village that was jounin or higher into the center of the village, but that was part of the problem. Shinobi at this level got bored very easily. To Lee's left, he could hear Naruto arguing with his teammates, while on his right the representatives from Suna were standing in a group, ignoring everyone. There was a loud scream and a slap, and Jiraya slid to a stop in front of the group with a glowing handprint on his cheek. Lee looked back to his Hokage and winced. The way she was breathing, he was rather concerned that her top was about to fail.

The blonde sannin slammed her fist into the ground, opening up a crack in the street that sent the gathered shinobi scrambling for solid footing. Silence descended when the group looked towards the powerful woman, suddenly aware that she really was that pissed. “Either you all stand together and let me take this picture, or heads are going to roll!”

The group carefully moved away from the split in the street, reforming under a tree within sight of the village's ninja academy. There were representatives from all of the hidden villages, making for a rather large group. Rock Lee found himself being shoved towards the front, near the jounin from Suna. Just behind him was his former instructor, Maito Gai. Naruto was now off to his right, still arguing with Sakura about something, with Sauske next to them and ignoring everything. Tenten was by his right shoulder, leaning a bit on him while she toyed with a kunai and looked around with a bored expression.

“I can't get everyone into the shot. Suck it in!” Tsunade waved a hand at the assembled shinobi, and with a grumble the group started to compress.

“Who's hand is that?”

“You're on my foot!”

“Kakashi, do something with your hair! No one's going to be able to see Raido!”

Lee was jostled in closer to the Suna group. Gaara was now on his immediate left. The sand shifted in the gourd, but there was no warning from the Kazekage to move away. Behind him, his siblings both sighed with relief and continued to try to keep the mob from crowding their younger brother. The green spandex clad shinobi offered Gaara a bright smile. “Hello again, Kazekage-sama! I have not seen you in some time! For the last two exams I did not have a team, so I was in the field, but this time I have a very talented team that cannot wait to show everyone what they have learned. I am sure that you will be impressed with their determination and power!”

Gaara stared at him with a blank expression. Slowly, he nodded his head slightly. “Lee-san.”

Temari whipped her head around. “Did you just touch me, Shikamaru?”

The accused shinobi sighed. “No. Too troublesome.”

The jade green eyes narrowed.

Tsunade waved her hand again. “Just a bit closer, I'm just losing some of the ones on the ends.”

“Chouji, put the chips away! You're getting crumbs in my hair!”

“Naruto! Keep your damn hands to yourself!”

“Ah, come on, Sakura-chan, it's just easier if I put my arm around your waist . . . “

There was a loud, male squawk from the back of the group. “Anko!”

Somebody pushed against Tenten, which forced Lee another half step towards Gaara. The sand rustled again, the cork falling to the ground, but nothing emerged. Lee tried to continue breathing while so close to the Kazekage that his arm was actually brushing that damn gourd. Kankuro was tensed, his hand part way raised, but stayed put when the sand went silent. Gaara glanced up at Lee again, and Lee offered him his brightest smile. “Sorry, Kazekage-sama. It is rather hard to get so many shinobi into one picture.”

“Okay, we've got it!” Tsunade handed the camera to the photographer and slipped in to the group, squishing the entire right side of the group in tighter.

The photographer smiled and held up his hand. “Everyone, look here and say `shuriken'!”

“Shuriken!”

In hind sight, Lee should have known that something like this would happen. The sound of a fist slamming into flesh rang out, making him turn his head to the right. At the same time, Gai-sensei snapped his arm up for the good guy pose, thumb extended. In the close quarters, he knocked the already off balance Tenten sideways and she fell into Lee. The taijutsu expert was also caught off balance, having twisted his head around to see who got smacked, and he tipped over sideways. He whipped his head back around to the left to find a pair of green eyes surrounded in black, widening in surprise as the jounin from Hidden Leaf slammed into him.

*click*

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Shizune walked into the Hokage's office with a folder in one hand and a wiggling pig under her arm. “Tsunade-san, the pictures are here from the photographer.”

“Let's see the damage.”

Of course, the assistant had already peeked in the folder and knew what was coming. She slipped out of the office as soon as the folder was on Tsunade's desk.

The Hokage pulled out the large, glossy photo and heaved a sigh. `I suppose that it was too much to ask for this group to just hold still for a picture.'

In the photo, Tsunade was smiling brightly and looking directly at the camera. Behind her, Kakashi had his face buried in one of his Icha Icha books, while Raido could just been seen trying to peek around that gravity defying hair. Further to the right, her chosen successor was actually off of the ground, blood pouring from his nose. Sakura had been captured in mid punch. Behind the pink haired shinobi was the last surviving Uchiha, with a smug grin on his face. Naruto had knocked someone completely over, and from the couple of potato chips still in the air, it must have been Chouji. Ino was bent over, just her blonde ponytail showing. Probably tried to catch Chouji as he fell. On the extreme right she could see Jiraya grinning like a mad man between Anko and Kurenai. Both of the women were fuming.

In the front, Temari and Kankuro were both turned around, glaring at Shikamaru. Gai was in a perfect good guy pose, arm extended and teeth flashing. His only female student was halfway to the ground, but Neiji had caught her hands, stopping her fall. And next to them . . .

“Oh, hell no.”

The powerful Kazekage was tipped back as though he had started to fall, with a green clad arm wrapped around his waist to keep him from crashing to the ground. The sand was awake, swirling around both Gaarra and the black haired shinobi that had caught him. And, unless she was very much mistaken, the two were kissing.

“Shizune! I need some more sake! NOW!”

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A/N: If you want to see the doodle that inspired this story, go to my profile. Be warned, I'm lousy at drawing, but it was still fun.