Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Pills and Ramen ❯ Pills and Ramen ( Chapter 1 )

Warning: Brief (very brief) mentions of rape and drug use (legal prescription drugs)

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the song Kiss off by the Violent Femms.

 

 

Wakening up in the morning, every day is the same. Rays of sunlight pour though the opening of his curtained window indicating the rising of the sun. Turning to his side to face the blaring alarm clock sitting on the small wooden table next to the bed, he slams the loud piece of annoyance against the opposite wall. This will be the tenth broken alarm clock this month.

 

His vision is still blurry from the cold dreamless sleep. A ray of sunlight from the window shines brightly in his eyes. Lifting a hand to block out the offensive light, he can freely gaze upon the light fading scars across his wrist.

 

I need someone a person to talk to
Someone who'd care to love
Could it be you could it be you

 

Though none of the scars are fresh, the memories of the self inflicted injuries are as clears as ever. Every jagged mark had its own significance, his first mental break down, his first attempt of suicide, his first sexual experience, his first broken rib courtesy of the local hateful villagers. Hordes of unwanted memories flood his vulnerable mind eliciting emotions he does not want to feel.

 

Situation gets rough then I start to panic
It's not enough it's just a habit
Hey kid your sick well darling this is it

 

Uncontrollable tears pour out if his tightly shut eyes spilling down his face dampening his pillow. Throwing off his blanket he shakily clamors out of bed. Bare feet platter clumsily towards the bathroom. In his fit of distress he carelessly stumbles into dressers and trips over various clothes, scrolls and other objects littered on the dirty carpet floor. Switching on the florescent lights of his small bathroom, he makes a beeline for the small medicine cabinet. Shaky hands forcefully yank open the mirror door of the cabinet. Lines and layers of shelves are filled with various prescription drugs.

 

You can all just kiss off into the air
Behind my back I can see them stare
They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
They'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
Yeah yeah they do it all the time

 

Everything began simple, developing a case of Obsessive-Compulsive disorder. Being starved for days at a time in his very early childhood by his caretaker he subject him self to binges of food when it was available. Soon it developed into an obsession as a fear of starvation. Having the need to eat large amounts at least four times a day is very expensive. To a lot for his urges instant Ramen was the cheapest way to satisfy is obsession.

 

I hope you know this will go down
On your permanent record
Oh yeah well don't get so distressed
Did I happen to mention that I'm impressed

 

It started out with only a simple prescription of Paxil (1) for his depression when he began to realize that the villager's curses were aimed at him.

 

I take one one one cause you left me and
Two two two for my family and

 

Then after his first suicide attempt at age 7, he was quickly taken off Paxil and put on a combination of Lexapro and Prozac.

 

3 3 3 for my heartache and
4 4 4 for my headaches and

 

Every annual visit to the doctors only adds another pill to take. When asked why by the doctors why he was not sleeping well, he tells them that nightmare plagues his dreams. Faces of angry villagers hit and yell at him. Voices in the shadows repeat hurtful words: “Monster”, “Demon”, “Murder”, “Worthless”, and “Vile creature die” repeat in a steady mantra. Although he was too young to take the drug, doctors insist on prescribing Rohyphol, a sleeping pill, to him at the age of 8.

 

5 5 5 for my lonely and
6 6 6 for my sorrow and

 

While walking home late one night from detention at the academy and running laps around the training grounds, he encountered a mob of very drunk and very vile men. Upon recognizing him as the fox vessel, they grabbed and restrained him. Taking him out to a remote area of the forest the group of 5 large drunken men beat his weak tired child body breaking bones and cutting him. A spark of hope comes as the beating slows, but is short lived when it was revealed that they vile men saved the worst for last. Striping him off his ragged clothes three of the five men took turns tearing into his small body while the other two watched and laughed and the demon child's scream in agony. Leaving him to die in the forest, the young boy was lucky to be found by some patrolling ninjas and taken to the hospital. Days after haunting images of that evening's events disturb his every waking hour. Suffering from Post traumatic stress disorder doctors have no choice but to give him some Zoloft and Lithium for his growing depression, adding more pills to his growing collection.

 

7 7 for no tomorrow and
8 8 I forget what 8 was for and

 

Over time his post traumatic stress disorder developed into a severe case of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Although this was a problem, it was easily neglected without treatment. It was a change from his severe depression when he would isolate himself away from society.

 

Shaky hands reach out to grab various bottles, opening them taking out the prescribed about each. Clutching on to the handful of pills in his sweating palms, he quickly dash to the kitchen to prepare three cups of instant Ramen. Waiting for the three minuets for the Ramen to cook he sits fidgety at the table staring intently at the Styrofoam cups, his hands still clutching tightly on to his pills like a lifeline.

 

9 9 9 for a lost God and
10 10 10 10 for everything
Everything everything everything

 

As soon as the ramen is ready, he hurriedly downs one cup. Shoving the handful of pills in his mouth he quickly washes them down with a large gulp of milk. As the starchy pills wash down his throat he wastes no time in consuming the two other cups of instant ramen.

 

Having finally taken his pill and satisfied his morning ramen binge his clammy shaking hand slowly calms. Sitting silently at the wooden table he waits. Minuets tick away as the drugs slowly take effect. His emotions numb and his body relax until his sits contently slumped in his chair.

 

You can all just kiss off into the air
Behind my back I can see them stare
They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
They'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
Yeah yeah they do it all the time

 

Cleaning off the table, he heads back into the bath room for a shower and change in his orange jump suit. Tying on his forehead protector and strapping on his kunai and shuriken holster he stares blankly into the fogged mirror. Practicing his large happy grin a few times before he leaves the door he makes sure it can hide the numbness he feels inside. For if he does not smile the doctors will only give him more pills to add to the empty feeling inside.

 

AN: This just came to me suddenly when I had the urge to write something depressing. I hope it's not too horrible to read since I typed it up in an hour. My knowledge of drugs for mental disorders is limited so if I have made any mistakes please tell me and I will fix it. I am not sure if I want to add any more to this, but I think this pretty much stands on its own. Depending on the feedback I get will highly consider doing a few more pieces to compliment this story.

 

Some Notes: (1) Paxil is an antidepressant drug that was at one time given freely to patients. Later studies show that the drug actually increases the suicide rate in children that are taking the drug.

 

Any other question can be asked through your reviews and will be answered in the response update later.