Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Presumptions... ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Standard, not mine. Yeah.

Rating: PG-15

Pairing: Kakairu, of course!

A/N: This is for Bagel-san for finishing her homework. Yeah, just for her perverted little soul. Total “plot what plot?” kinda pwp.

 

 

“Haaa…” Iruka panted as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. “I've never been so sore in my entire life.”

 

“There are some exercises you can do to improve your stamina,” Kakashi was ignoring Iruka in favor of his Icha Icha Paradisu book.

 

“It's all your fault. If we had stretched beforehand…” Iruka grunted as he felt his vertebrae realign. Kakashi looked amused. “Oh, stop it. That's the look that got us in trouble in the first place.”

 

“Iruka-sensei…” Naruto walked in. “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” He threw his arm up in a protective gesture across his eyes. “I'm never using my eyes again!”

 

“It's not what it looks like!” Iruka reached out a bare arm in protest.

 

“AAAAAAAAH! Ecchi!” Naruto waved a kunai blindly in the direction of Iruka's voice as he conveyed his sorrow to the world. “Kaka-sensei, what did you do to Iruka-sensei?”

 

“All I asked was how flexible he was…” Kakashi looked up from his book, “and that is the result.”

 

“Kakashi! You're not helping,” Iruka scolded as he tried to remove the kunai from Naruto's wildly flailing fist while simultaneously attempting to put on his shirt.

 

“Aah! Iruka-nii is not being formal with Kaka-sensei! I'm never going to be alone with either of you again!” Naruto flung himself dramatically to the floor, “I'm scarred for life! I'm an impressionable young man!”

 

“Ma… I was going to use this on my team, but it seems that it is beyond them right now.” Kakashi casually remarked to the room in general. The potted plant was impressed, but Iruka wasn't.

 

Neither was Naruto. “AAh! Ero-sensei!” Naruto crawled into the corner. “Don't bring your perverted ways into out training!”

 

“Kakashi! Naruto is an impressionable young man…” Iruka sounded horrified.

 

“Sa, so that's where he got that phrase from. I thought he wasn't clever enough to have that big a vocabulary.” Kakashi shrugged. “Iruka, have you seen my vest?”

 

“Now is not the time to ask Kakashi,” Iruka groused as he triumphantly removed the kunai from Naruto's grasp. “Naruto, calm yourself, I'm not a pervert like Kakashi.”

 

“Why are you calling him Kakashi then?” Naruto asked warily from behind the barrier of his arms.

 

“I lost a bet.” Iruka sighed.

 

“We were playing strip poker,” Kakashi said.

 

“AAAAAHH!” Naruto dove under the couch.

 

“Kakashi! That is a blatant untruth!” Iruka grabbed Naruto's ankle. “Get out from under the couch, Naruto.”

 

“Well, it's more plausible than what we were actually doing…” Kakashi muttered defensively.

 

“You were having sex!” Naruto's muffled voice arrowed out from under the couch.

 

Iruka lost his grip on Naruto's ankle in shock. “I never…”

 

“Ooh, maybe that should be what I asked you to do…” Kakashi's mask shifted as he smiled.

 

“You weren't…?” Naruto cautiously peeked out from under the couch.

 

“Kakashi bet that I could never do a split against the doorframe. And I proved him wrong.” Iruka crossed now covered arms across his chest. Suddenly he turned to Kakashi with eyes narrowed. “Then he started asking me to do increasingly stranger exercises and positions…” Kakashi merely gave the room his `but, I swear I am a totally innocent and non-perverted entity' eye curving smile. The potted plant swooned, but Iruka glared.

 

“Kaka-sensei!” Naruto flung himself out from under the couch, “I will defend Iruka from your perversions!” Kakashi easily caught Naruto by the scruff of his neck.

 

“Maaa… I didn't do anything!” Kakashi gave Iruka a look from over his book. “…yet.”

 

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Naruto started flailing around like a maddened octopus (just with fewer limbs). “I'll kill you Kaka-sensei!”

 

“Wait a minute; you were checking me out as I was doing all that stuff?” Iruka finally asked. Kakashi didn't say anything. “Can't you ask people out normally?” Iruka finally said exasperatedly.

 

“Well, I wouldn't have seen your sweaty body contorted into stuff from page 56…” Kakashi suddenly realized that he was probably very screwed, in the bad way, from the icy aura that suddenly emanated from the chunin. “Heh, heh… I didn't really say that…” At that moment a lucky hit from Naruto's wildly flailing octopus imitation hit Kakashi's arm successfully distracting the jounin for a crucial moment.

 

Iruka dove at Kakashi flinging Naruto into the next room. Kakashi hit the floor with a gasp as all the air left his body. A disheveled and impassioned (with anger) Iruka was now wrapped around Kakashi's waist. “You… perverted… bastard…” Kakashi's visible eye widened; Iruka was talking with perfect diction through clenched teeth. “I… am… going… to… kill you...”

 

“Uh, that's only two letters away from kiss…” Kakashi pointed out helpfully. Naruto chose this moment to come back in the room.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHhh!” The reverberating scream and ensuing chaos was talked about in Konoha for years afterwards. Nobody quite understood what had really happened, but it somehow resulted in Kakashi and Iruka toppling one another into bed for the occasional bit of angry bondage sex and Naruto developed an unhealthy phobia of teachers.