Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Regret Not A Thing ❯ Ch. 2: It Began in Autumn ( Chapter 2 )

Regret Not A Thing

By Mizerable

 

 

 

Ch. 2: It Began in Autumn

 

Four Years Ago

 

The sun's just set behind the mountains. No one really gave a damn about the pleasant autumn weather so that's not the important part here. The halls of the hospital are. Or maybe not even the halls, which didn't have any of that calming sterility and silence. This was chaos at its very best. Shizune screams that they can't get Neji stabilized. If they try to operate now, he might die in surgery—and having that happen once already today had been more than enough.

 

Of course this day could only get worse.

 

“Tsunade-sama!”

 

Kakashi came storming in with an unconscious Naruto in his arms. Even with only one eye visible, it still was still a good indicator for panic. He didn't have to explain anything. Tsunade took one glance at Naruto's pale face before rushing over. She leaned in to press her ear to his chest, hoping for a steady heartbeat. How foolish of her, to hope.

 

“Dear god…He's going into cardiac arrest!” she shouted, “Kakashi, bring him this way!"

 

They got Naruto laid out on a stretcher and rushed him for emergency treatment, pumping him full of chakra to keep his failing heart from giving out. He couldn't hear much of anything, he could only see the shadows change from less dim to more and back again from beneath his eyelids. Naruto couldn't really tell where he was or what was going on anymore but he could venture a guess. There were people fussing over him and he could feel their hands but it wasn't really registering. It's like he wasn't quite in his body, but not quite anywhere else. He wanted to open his mouth and tell them to leave him alone. But his body didn't move. He felt so numb everywhere, though his chest hurt something fierce.

 

And maybe, maybe, it's not that he can't move. Maybe he didn't want to move anymore. He didn't want to wake up and face any of them. If he wakes up, it would make everything real. And, goddamn it, he doesn't want it to be real.

 

It was so strange, really. He'd always thought maybe when he was older, it would be some girl. Maybe even Sakura. It would be like something out of a cheesy novel. Naruto realized then what a dumb kid he really was.

 

But being betrayed by his friend—his friend!—without a doubt broke his heart.

 

* * *

 

Ino kept a frantic pace as she dodged the obstacles blocking the hall. Her chest heaved with heavy panting after her mad dash to get to the hospital. Her eyes darted every which way trying to find some sign of her teammates. She turned a corner to finally find some familiar faces sitting on a bench. Before she could get her hopes up, the sober air hanging around that corridor pressed down against her shoulders.

 

“Have you heard anything?”

 

Hinata nodded weakly and it's only now that Ino noticed Akamaru all bandaged up in Hinata's arms. Ino expanded her observation to take in Hinata's pale and tear-stained face, then Shino's slumped shoulders.

 

“Oh god…Is Kiba…?”

 

“…He didn't make it.”

 

The tears started to slide down Hinata's face again and Ino could feel her trembling knees threatening to give out.

 

“The—the Sand-nin, they're on our side now, you know? One of them t-tried to get Kiba-kun back here in time. But he couldn't stop the bleeding. They tried to operate b-but—but…”

 

Hinata couldn't get the rest of the words out and Ino was fairly sure she didn't want to hear it.

 

“And,” Ino's voice cracked, “And what of the others?”

 

“I saw them bring in Neji a while ago,” Shino answered, “His injuries looked rather…serious.”

 

Even Neji…

 

“Are Shikamaru and Chouji okay? Did they make it back??”

 

Hinata shook her head, murmuring that she hadn't heard anything about them yet. Ino mumbled her thanks and paused to offer some sort of condolences but couldn't think of any words. What did you tell someone who just lost such an important person in their life? She nodded to them once more before racing down the hall. They didn't seem to begrudge her for it.

 

She was too focused on her team to notice anything or anyone else. At that moment, only two people mattered in her life. Nothing was important to her now except their safety.

 

Please, please let them be alive. Don't take them away from me!

 

* * *

 

They passed each other in the hall, being pulled in opposite directions, dragged a little further from each other. Neither seemed to notice the other, and if asked later, they probably wouldn't even recall ever seeing each other.

 

This was the day that would push an insurmountable gap between them.

 

Years would go by but Ino and Sakura did not speak again.

 

* * *

 

No one had to tell her. Sakura knew. She knew the mission was a failure. The few moments she saw of Kakashi painted the picture crystal clear. Even when things had gone bad on previous missions, his shoulders would relax when the mission was over. But there he stood, rigid with tension and worry. Things had not gone right this time but no one seemed to have the heart to tell her.

 

It would be two more days before she was allowed to see Naruto.

 

* * *

 

It seemed there was no point in fighting it anymore. No matter how much he would have rather slept away his days, Naruto found himself shoved into awareness. He blinked and squinted against the sun splashing against his face, vaguely noting that the blinds were open. It took almost a full minute for him to register that he wasn't in his own bed. It was that pitifully sterile smell that told him he was in the hospital. There wasn't even the usual faint floral scent to counter the impersonal not-a-scent of the room.

 

No one even brought flowers…

 

“—Naruto?”

 

Still feeling sluggish, he couldn't stop himself from looking over at whoever spoke. And he immediately wished he hadn't. Oh god, he wished he hadn't…

 

“Sakura-chan?”

 

She sat on the edge of a chair with her hands on her thighs, her fingers bunching up the fabric of her dress. She seemed to be making a great effort not to cry in front of him.

 

“Naru—“

 

“I'm sorry!”

 

Her shoulders jerked back, almost as if she'd been hit in the stomach.

 

“I'm sorry, Sakura-chan,” his voice was softer now, more resigned, “I really tried, I mean, I promised…And yet…”

 

“Idiot!” the tears were coming down now. He waited for her to start yelling, or to punch him, or to do whatever Sakura did when she was so disappointed. He didn't expect her to fall across his chest in a sobbing heap.

 

“You're always such an idiot,” her voice was softer now, but certainly not resigned as she raised her eyes to his face, “You almost died! What would the point be if I lost the both of you?!”

 

There, she said it. And felt terrible for it, wanting so much after everyone lost so much. She couldn't help but be selfish. She couldn't have one without the other. They were a team. They were…

 

Over.

 

They both remained quiet for a long while, both too deep in shock to move or to speak. Sakura didn't want to tell him the rest of the bad news, of how the others faired. Naruto didn't think he could bear to hear it just yet. Not just yet.

 

“Hey Naruto, do you feel well enough to walk?”

 

“Yeah…I can do that.”

 

“Then let's get you out of here. I'm sure you'd feel better resting up at home.”

 

* * *

 

No one raised much of a fuss when they left, seeming too distracted and too tired to argue about anything. Though they took the back ways to Naruto's apartment just to be on the safe side. Nothing was out of place in his tiny apartment. It had the same look of contained chaos that it always held, but everything felt different to him. Though maybe it would be more accurate to say he was the one who felt out of place now.

 

“I'm gonna take a shower,” Naruto mumbled.

 

“I'll be waiting here when you come out.”

 

Naruto disappeared into the bathroom and set the water as hot as it could go. He stepped under the jet but couldn't register the heat. There wasn't a mark on his body from the fight, though his left arm still tingled unpleasantly. Here in the quiet and finally alone with his conscious thoughts, it finally hit. It started with choked wheezing and hiccups as he tried to swallow his cries. The tears burned against his skin far more sharply than the scalding water. He braced himself with one hand against the wall as his body began to tremble.

 

“Damn it!” he growled. His fist hit the wall once, and the tiles started to give way after the second hit. “Goddamn it!!”

 

* * *

 

Sakura sat with her back pressed against the bathroom door and her knees pulled up against her chest, unable to do anything but cry again. She could hear Naruto on the other side and the water did nothing to drown out his wailing. She pressed her hands tightly over her ears to try and muffle that awful sound. But there was no point now. She doubted she could ever imagine what it might be like to be happy again. There was no starting over.

 

All they had now were memories they could never return to and a future they didn't want to live.

 

* * *

 

Almost two weeks had past. Almost two weeks before Neji pulled out of his coma. Granted he'd felt rather awful when he first woke up with not-yet-healed injuries immediately making their presence known. But even so, he himself felt more at peace with the world in those waking moments than he had in years. It didn't last terribly long, of course. Not when Gai and Lee were there making such a ridiculous amount of noise. Crying bucketfuls and ranting about the resilience of youth. Idiots.

 

It was enough to make a man want to fall right back into a coma and never wake up.

 

He wasn't beneath faking sleep to get them to leave, though. Soon enough it was quiet again and he could finally think back on what got him here in the first place. The Mission…He realized he had no idea how things turned out in the end. He didn't get to contemplate it any further when he heard the slight click of the door. He glanced over with half-lidded eyes to find Tenten standing in the doorway. There was a rue sort of smile on her face and she finally entered once she knew she wouldn't be thrown right back out.

 

“I hope you won't be out for too long,” she says breezily, “Training's been misery.”

 

Knowing the other members of his team, he couldn't deny how aggravating things must be for her to be stuck with Gai and Lee without any reprieve.

 

“Here,” she pulled out some books from her shoulder bag, “To ease the boredom.”

 

It was so quintessentially Tenten to think of things like that. As he watched her shuffle about and place them on the table, he just couldn't take the not-knowing anymore.

 

“What happened out there?” his voice rasped and he didn't like the disgraceful sound of it, “With the mission…”

 

She took a seat and told him everything with frank words. Just as he could count on the other half of his team to be enthusiastic and idealistic, Tenten would always be practical and direct when it came down to it. Even when it involved telling Neji the mission he almost lost his life on was a complete and utter failure.

 

“So it was all for nothing…” Neji murmured, feeling his wounds (pointless now) all the more acutely.

 

Tenten didn't say a word as she rose to her feet. She was good about knowing when to come and when to go.

 

“Well, I'll see you soon,” she said as she made it to the door, “There's lots of work to be done, and all.”

 

She knew he would hate to be coddled. Her subtle reminder that there were always going to be missions and that they would always have to rise to the challenge was enough.

 

Things were far from great right now, but this too would pass. Neji still had greater heights to reach.

 

He took comfort in that most of all.

 

* * *

 

Present Day

 

Tsunade swept through the Anbu's intelligence department on her personal search for Ibiki. A frown pulled at her mouth and her shoulders ached with tension. And to think, this mess was just getting started… Before she made it to his office door, she found a sight she'd grown used to but never comfortable with.

 

Multiple empty coffee cups, countless papers, and stacks of reports littered the desk of one particular Anbu member's desk. Tired rings stood out against the not-so-recently shaven face that peered over his files with a disturbing seriousness. He absently pushed up slim wire glasses before his hand returned to scribbling notes.

 

“A little rest wouldn't kill you, Shikamaru-kun.”

 

He nearly jumped out of his chair from the surprise.

 

“Hokage-sa—“

 

“Is your boss around?”

 

“Should be in his office, I think…”

 

She was about to continue onwards, but stopped to address him again.

 

“You, go home and sleep. And don't come back without a shower and a change of clothes,” she paused, hating to give bitter medicine, “You can't save anyone if you keep wearing yourself down like this.”

 

“…Yes, ma'am.”

 

Once again, she found herself trying to leave when something else caught her attention. There was a file on his desk that was nearly a year old, one she knew he seemed to dwell on.

 

“Is this from you expedition from after the Sound fell?”

 

He seemed a tad surprised and perhaps a little irritated that it was mentioned. It annoyed him when he came across puzzles he couldn't solve. The Anbu team that had been sent out came back with rather inconclusive information. Though if Tsunade was going to be honest, anything involving the Sound tended to resurface rather bitter feelings in Shikamaru.

 

She idly flipped through the file, recalling why anyone would have been haunted by the mission. To put it lightly, the photographs submitted with the report were rather harrowing.

 

“I'll be borrowing this,” she stated, jerking Shikamaru from whatever thoughts he was having. She tapped him on the head with the folder just to make sure she had his attention. “Sleep.”

 

He nodded vaguely as she moved on towards Ibiki and he headed for the exit. Though he doubted he'd do a very good job following that order, not with that mission to the Sound on his mind again. Shikamaru didn't need to see the pictures to remember. He only needed to close his eyes and he would find himself back there in Hell.

 

Not that it was really much different, not with how everything felt in this town these days.

 

 

 

To be continued…