Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Regret Not A Thing ❯ Ch 13: Sasuke's Story III: A Lesson in Choice ( Chapter 13 )

Regret Not A Thing

By Mizerable

 

 

 

Ch. 13: Sasuke's Story III: A Lesson in Choice

 

Sasuke woke, unsure of the hour or even the day. The woman was nearby, tending to a pot over an open fire. Of course, he was quick to realize Itachi wasn't there. Ever the skeptic, he wondered if perhaps he had dreamed their reunion. Perhaps he secretly wished something good came out all these dreadful years. But he knew better than to put much hope in anything.

 

“Where is he?”

 

The woman's hand paused from stirring, evidently not expecting any conversation. In a place this desolate, he really couldn't blame her. Though she was quick to recover like any well-trained ninja and continued with her work.

 

“Keeping appearances,” her words were crisper than usual, almost forced in their calmness. Sasuke knew perfectly well what she meant, though. Itachi was meeting with the Akatsuki. It left a sour feeling in his stomach, knowing that every meeting might be Itachi's last. Would today be the day he found the strength to turn on Shisui…? These thoughts were going to drive him insane. It was disconcerting to have gone from hating so much to worrying himself sick over the same person. All roads always seemed to lead him back to Itachi, and never in moderation.

 

He needed to distract himself from these conflicting thoughts, and he had a prime outlet. He could learn of how the woman ended up in this mess. There certainly didn't seem to be any logical reason for her involvement. She, in kind, spoke of her own brother. There was nothing she wouldn't risk to keep him safe. Sasuke could admire her fortitude, if nothing else. Though he still couldn't find a connection between her own familial issues and the affairs of the Akatsuki.

 

“Surely you've heard of the legendary bijuu before?” she retorted coolly.

 

He had, of course, even before Itachi described the Akatsuki's plans. Mythical creatures said to have terrifying destructive powers. He recalled people speaking in hushed whispers of the Kyuubi when they thought he couldn't hear them.

 

“Then perhaps you have also heard of the jinchuuriki…humans that become the vessels to contain these monsters.”

 

He instinctively recalled Gaara, and how his grotesque transformation made a hell of a lot more sense now. But then another memory resurfaced. It was one that had been pushed aside when he recalled his humiliating reunion with Itachi in that hotel corridor. Words that were spoken by an older man he would learn later to be the legendary Jiraiya.

 

So you're after Naruto, after all…

 

Sasuke's blood came to a frozen halt in his veins. He subconsciously pulled his blanket tighter around himself. And now everything really made absolutely perfect fucking sense. He'd been so lost in his own bleak little world after his family died, that he never once stopped to think just how much Naruto had probably endured. He never had his family robbed from him, but he never had a goddamn thing at all. They shoved a demon in him, then had the audacity to treat him as the pariah of the village. Just how deep did Konoha's hypocrisy run?

 

And just as quickly, an odd thought breezed through his mind. If he had succeeded in killing Naruto that day, would that have put an end to the Akatsuki's plan? Would he still have learned the truth from his brother then? Would that one death, possibly for the good of the world, be something he could have lived with?

 

Though now his mind returns to that dark pit again, waiting silently for his death. In his darkest hour, he found solace in his memories of home. Of Naruto. Sasuke had no qualms in admitting he was a selfish creature. He wanted more than he had any right to ask for. But the only thing he wished for now was for things to remain this way. Let him be the one to die. Let Death keep its hand from extending to Naruto, to the land he once called home.

 

It seemed this woman had reached the same conclusion. She chose this life of solitude in a shabby little house just to protect her own brother. It was painfully obvious that this brother of hers had to be one of the other jinchuuriki.

 

But these questions only raised more questions.

 

“How did you know you could trust my brother?”

 

She gazed into the fire with a look in her eyes Sasuke dared to call fondness.

 

“It's my weakness,” she admitted, her head dipping in an almost shy gesture, “I have a soft spot for Uchihas.”

 

Sasuke almost didn't believe her for a moment. She knew his Clan? Yet remained loyal, despite knowing of their wicked ways?

 

“So you're also from Konoha?”

 

“Hmm…that was a long time ago,” she sat back on her haunches, “As far as anyone from there knows, I've been dead for years.”

 

“You faked your death? Just to protect your brother??”

 

“No one expects someone who isn't even alive to be a spy. It's easier to remain anonymous this way…Though I'm not the first person from Konoha to do this,” she explained, “We're the best information network Konoha has because we don't exist. And probably the only good secret they have: The Ghost Squad.”

 

Logistically, it was a brilliant idea despite the risks involved. Though he wondered how many people were left behind mourning those who had chosen to walk away. He'd also walked away for “grander things.” Was he considered dead to the ones he used to know? Did they lay flowers at an empty grave, or did they spit on it?

 

These weren't the questions he wished to ask aloud. And she certainly wasn't obliged to share her thoughts on the matter, either. It couldn't have been that simple of a decision for her to make. So he remained on relatively safer ground.

 

“Is it common? For a village to have two jinchuuriki…”

 

He couldn't recall anyone that was remotely similar to Naruto in Konoha. Then again, there was probably no one quite like Naruto in the whole damn world. That fucking loudmouthed idiot…he really was one of a kind.

 

“Honestly, the village never knew. He's not an actual blood relative to me,” she explained, hints of sadness creeping in, “My father found him as a young boy, the sole survivor on a battlefield, and adopted him. Try as he might, he had been used and manipulated by so many people that he just couldn't trust us completely. He even joined forces with `The Devil' just to have a chance at surviving. Though he slowly learned to accept my help…”

 

“Yakushi,” Sasuke blurted out, “You're from the Yakushi medical clan that adopted Kabuto.”

 

These constant epiphanies were threatening to overwhelm him. It was all so fucking clear now. Of course she would have data from Kabuto. She was his sister! She was probably the informant that kept such close tabs on Orochimaru and passed news along to Jiraiya.

 

“It's not really his fault, you know. Kabuto's,” she cautiously spoke, “Those who are made into jinchuuriki are such pitiful creatures…Even though I still serve Konoha, it would be heartless not to take a stand and protect those unfortunate few.”

 

Sasuke couldn't believe he was actually feeling sympathetic towards Kabuto's lot in life. All that time, all that fucking time Sasuke spent suffering in Sound, Kabuto kept his mouth shut to keep his own neck safe. He knew it would take time for the Akatsuki to plan an assault against Orochimaru and took advantage of whatever amnesty he could gain. Kabuto had even been brave enough to oh-so-subtly interfere with Orochimaru's own goals. He managed to survive the strike against the Sound, but where would he run to now? Was his time in the snake's lair simply postponing the inevitable?

 

How much time did Naruto have left?

 

She said nothing further in her defense as she poured the soup she had been preparing. She gently helped him into a sitting position, and seeing such a worn down and weary boy served only to remind her further of her brother. Yet another generation lost for no good reason.

 

“We'll know of the Akatsuki's progress once I hear back from Itachi-kun,” she distracted her dreary mind with idle talk as she raised a spoonful of broth to his lips, “It will let me know how I should proceed in explaining the circumstances behind the Sound's fall.”

 

Sasuke was left in awe as he learned more of how deeply noble she was. Hers was a life spent in constant waiting. Living everyday in a world of dreadful anticipation, solitude, and likely a painful death in the end. In truth, that wasn't very different from his brother's life, was it…

 

The door to the little shack swung open, letting in a sharp blast of freezing air and snow flurries. Itachi stood in the doorway with his tell-tale cloak notably absent. A dark bandana covered his head and sunglasses concealed his eyes. An uneasy silence settled in as Sasuke and the woman stared at him, awaiting his news. As Itachi's silence extended, the others grew anxious to receive what had to be undoubtedly bad news.

 

“They suspect me.”

 

The woman seemed to collapse in upon herself while Sasuke remained stone still watching his brother. Of course. Of course things could only get worse. Sasuke's body not being found in the Sound camp and Kabuto's escape would not have been well-received. And they only served to cast an incriminating light upon Itachi.

 

Now the Akatsuki were forcing Itachi's hand and leaving no choice but to act. Swiftly.

 

“How shall we proceed?” the Yakushi woman asked. She was too good of a shinobi to fall prey to her emotions. They could only move forward.

 

“Contact no one. Not even your brother,” Itachi answered firmly, “They have eyes and ears everywhere. It's far too great of a risk to do anything now but remain silent.”

 

“But he's alone out there!” she fired back, “How can I warn him if I can't even speak to him? And what of Konoha? They need to be informed…!”

 

“Kabuto is smart enough to keep a low profile. I wouldn't worry about his situation. And Jiraiya has plenty of other sources at his disposal. It won't be long before word gets out about the Sound's demise, anyway. With or without your say on the matter,” Itachi paused to give Sasuke a pointed look before continuing, “Furthermore, it will no longer be feasible for me to return here again.”

 

“Do you think that's wise?” Yakushi seemed to grow resigned to the situation, “You can't expect to fair well against them if you're completely cut off from the world.”

 

“I have no other choice. I put myself in this situation and now I'll have to lie in the bed I've made.”

 

“So that's it? You'll just go crawling back to the Akatsuki to prove your `loyalty'?” Sasuke snarled, “What good is your staying there now if you can't even let anyone know what's happening? I rather doubt you'll make your move against Shisui now.”

 

“It's hardly like that,” Itachi spoke with a seemingly heavy heart, “It's only a matter of time before they decide to hunt me down, as they had Orochimaru. It should delay their hunt for the bijuu for a little while. I'll just have to hold out as long as I can to buy the other villages more time.”

 

“`Hold out'?” Sasuke echoed, dread seeping in. Itachi offered a wry expression in return.

 

“Even I'm not powerful enough to fend off a full Akatsuki offensive.”

 

“I'm going with you,” Sasuke announced, struggling to rise. Yakushi moved to settle him back down, but was shrugged off.

 

“You are dying, Sasuke,” Itachi stated flatly, “Bringing you along would only slow me down. This is a fight I should have ended a long time ago and now I must face the consequences of my mistakes.”

 

“And you'll just leave me here to rot?”

 

“I'll leave you here so that you might spend your last days with some measure of comfort. It's all I can do for you now. At least you can pass on knowing the truth of everything.”

 

“Don't do this to me,” Sasuke's whisper came out as a harsh rasp, “If I have to die, let me die out there. I know there's not much I can do anymore, but don't leave me here to just fade away like this. Let me have this one last fight…standing side by side with you.”

 

Yakushi stood off to the side as the brothers made preparations to depart. Sasuke clung to his brother's back, lacking the strength to walk on his own. Itachi gave a curt nod to Yakushi, though she could not bring herself to meet his gaze. She reached out to touch his arm as he passed but thought better of it. Her hand dropped limply to her side as she wished them luck, though the words felt hollow to her.

 

“I hope you'll pardon all the troubles we've caused you,” Itachi's voice gave away nothing, “Please take care to look after yourself.”

 

She stood at the threshold watching the pair descend the snowy slope until they were no more than a pinpoint. In her hand was a sake cup that she raised in a toast, though she could think of nothing worth honoring. After a sigh slipped past her lips, an obvious choice came to mind.

 

To family.

 

* * *

 

And so the two brothers set out on their long and ultimately tragic journey.

 

It led them through grueling terrain and remote villages, always looking over their shoulder. Ever anxious and weary walking under the Akatsuki's long shadow. In these desolate and lonely places where no one paid much notice to the comings and goings of everyday travelers, Sasuke learns of secrets Itachi hadn't planned on sharing.

 

It began with Itachi's request for Sasuke to keep a lookout for paths to follow and signs for local inns. It allowed Itachi to focus all his attention on finding hidden traps and attackers that might be lying in wait. Sasuke was just grateful he had one good eye to spot anything. Then it became Sasuke's duty to handle the money and sign for things when it was required. Itachi explained the Akatsuki might recognize any handwriting Itachi might have copied with his Sharingan. They wouldn't know what Sasuke may or may not have picked up. It all seemed logical enough.

 

But Sasuke was no fool. He knew why his brother kept his Sharingan on all the time, always hidden behind the sunglasses. Itachi was blind. He needed his bloodline ability just to have any remote form of vision.

 

“How did you loose your sight?” he dared to ask. The sting of Itachi's “betrayal” had yet to fade completely, still leaving Sasuke inexplicably wary. It made speaking to his brother a somewhat unnerving experience at times.

 

“No power comes without a price.”

 

Sasuke understood that it had to have been a result of the Mangekyou, and felt heavier for knowing it. If he'd followed through with his quest for revenge, he would have forever been lost in a world of unending true darkness. It seemed apparent to Sasuke now that no matter what path he chose in life, it would have a bleak outcome.

 

Except, perhaps, if he had chosen to remain in Konoha. Ignorant of his brother's struggles. Even the so-called “safe” choice would have been selfish of him. Wasn't there any justice left in this world?

 

* * *

 

As the weeks turned into months and countless miles, Sasuke would sometimes forget that they were in constant danger. As he stubbornly clung to what bit of power he had left, he began to travel on foot of his own volition. It gave him hope that he wasn't completely lost. There were still things he could accomplish. It almost gave him the illusion to consider these days peaceful.

 

All this time on the road made all the places look the same. In tiny rooms with rain tapping at the glass and fog hiding away the outside world, life took on some peculiar sense of normalcy. But then night would come and that was when things were always the hardest. Sasuke could not forget the dark of Orochimaru's lair so quickly and he often lay awake with paranoid tension.

 

They never spoke of it. But on nights like these, Itachi keep silent company. Often he would check and re-strengthen Sasuke's seal and change the bandages. It was slowing the curse's progression, but new tears in his skin would appear. Itachi's efforts prolonged Sasuke's life, but it wouldn't save him. But he did what he could. These quiet gestures were the balm that sustained Sasuke's soul.

 

“How many have been captured?” Sasuke broke the silence one night, forcing himself to remain grounded in their grim reality.

 

“Two that I know of,” Itachi replied, serious as ever, “Though it seemed they were closing in on a female jinchuuriki from the Cloud. And I doubt it will be long before they make a strike against the Sand.”

 

Once again Sasuke is reminded of Gaara.

 

Gaara, who had been so full of anger towards the world for hating what he was. No, for being made him what he was. It was all just so unbelievably unfair. How the hell did Naruto not turn out the same way?

 

Because he had people he believed in. And had people he thought believed in him.

 

Sasuke knew he couldn't undo what he did. But he hoped taking on this ridiculous mission to the death had to atone for some of it.

 

* * *

 

It was only natural that just as Sasuke accepted these bittersweet truths with a calm heart, he would pass out on the side of the road.

 

It was this that prompted Itachi to decide he would ensure Sasuke made it back home.

 

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Sasuke snapped back, “I'm a missing-nin! They'll have me executed as soon as I reach the gates.”

 

“I wouldn't be so sure of that,” Itachi said with shrewd regard, “During times like this, Konoha will not be so willing to part with our bloodline as you'd like to believe.”

 

“What could I even tell them if I return?”

 

“Tell them nothing. Not only would any leaked information possibly jeopardize the lives of field agents such as Yakushi-san, it will cause the Akatsuki to take aggressive action. Anyone they suspect of gaining inside knowledge will be made a target. These are secrets we must be prepared to die for if we intend on keeping anyone safe.”

 

“What was the point of learning anything about their activities if no one can use that info?”

 

“Things have changed. When it comes down to it, a shinobi must ensure he or she completes the mission assigned. We do not have the luxury of relying on others when even knowing of a threat could cost lives,” Itachi seemed almost weary at the thought, “It was my weakness that let things get out of hand. It's on my shoulders to keep Konoha and its people away from this for as long as I can.”

 

Sasuke was reluctant to return home. Not to mention afraid, though he would never admit to it. But he knew his brother would not be swayed. It grew more and more obvious each day, despite Sasuke's determination, that his health was failing. Itachi had done all that he could. But without Kabuto's completed data on the curse seal, it was only a matter of time before the curse ran its course.

 

Thus, they began their trek to Fire Country.

 

Ever present was Sasuke's fear for what would become of Itachi once they parted ways. He'd always known facing down the Akatsuki under these circumstances was sure to be a suicide mission, but why did Itachi feel so compelled to go it alone? He'd been preparing Sasuke all these years for this fight. He was already dying, so what would it matter if he died a quick death on the battlefield? It wasn't any worse than spending his last days on his deathbed.

 

“What do you think you're going to accomplish? You're the one who said you weren't strong enough to fight them all.”

 

“Of course I'm not,” Itachi answered blandly, “But I'm not completely powerless. If I can kill even one or two of them, I'd call it definitive progress in this war. All that matters anymore is time. So long as I can give the villages that, it will be enough.”

 

“And what of Shisui?” Sasuke countered, “Will there be anyone left to defeat a true Sharingan master if we're gone?”

 

“Hn…Stranger things have happened.”

 

* * *

 

Fate, as always, was a cruel mistress.

 

They were in the heart of Fire Country, a scant thirty miles from Konoha. For a ninja, such a distance was negligible. And it was here the vultures circled.

 

They'd been prepared to face two, even four of the Akatsuki. To find all eight waiting for them was unfathomable. The brothers understood everything now. There was no year of quiet. It had been a set-up right from the start.

 

The group stood before them as something made of nightmares. Drawn blades and gleaming fangs and true confidence. As Sasuke stared Death in the face, he wondered if there would ever be enough time to plan for war against these monsters.

 

One of the members stepped to the forefront. He was of average build with dark hair falling in angles around his face.

 

“Well, Itachi-kun, how kind of you to join us.”

 

Sasuke felt chills race up his spine. The man's eyes were a deep blood red and for a moment Sasuke wondered if he was a relation of Kurenai's. But that wasn't right. He knew this feeling well. Though the man did not have the three tomoe visible, those eyes had the undeniable power of the Sharingan. It was not that there were no tomoe, but the film of complete and absolute blindness masked the marks. Here was a man who abused the fearsome power of the Mangekyou to its absolute limit: Uchiha Shisui.

 

Itachi stood with a rigid tenseness Sasuke was unaccustomed to. He wouldn't call it fear; Sasuke was probably terrified enough for both of them. But Itachi stared across the gap towards Shisui, staring down his best friend and executioner. Sasuke knew. He knew what would happen once this fight broke out.

 

He can't do it. He can't kill Shisui.

 

“Have you forgotten?” Sasuke stepped out from behind Itachi's defensive stance, “There are two of us here.”

 

“Oh?” Shisui sneered, “Quite the remarkable family reunion we have here.”

 

“You little fool,” Itachi growled, “Stand back.”

 

“There's no point anymore. I'm not going to just lie down like a dog to the likes of them.”

 

Itachi had spoken of dying for ideals. For secrets. For their homeland and its people. But for Sasuke, he had lived a great deal of his life for darker things. It took claim over his heart like an old, forgotten friend.

 

I've lived all this time seeking revenge. I can just as easily die for it.

 

The eight grinned with well-earned smugness. The boy would die quickly enough, but at least he wasn't making things dull. Sasuke smirked in return, feeling the twin scars on his back twinge, as he reached for his eye patch.

 

Yes…He could be just as much a monster as they were.

 

His amber eye locked in on one of the members, a man wielding a three-bladed scythe, as he prepared to strike. In spite of the pain of the curse pushing the limits of the binding seal, the sudden burst of power and adrenalin made Sasuke forget everything. His vision held a red tinge as he readied himself to attack.

 

But suddenly black fire exploded in front of him. He could no longer see the Akatsuki beyond the wall of flames. He turned wildly to find Itachi was no longer by his side. The clang of metal followed by shouts dominated the air. Sasuke's fingernails bit sharply into his palms when he realized what happened. Itachi had effectively cut him out of the battle.

 

Even after all this time. After all they'd come to know of one another, Itachi still didn't believe in him.

 

He stood by the barrier of flames, letting the curse rapidly race through him as he listened to his brother fight what would certainly be his last battle. Sasuke had never felt so powerless in all his life.

 

Then the silence set in. Sasuke braced himself for the impending attack, trying desperately to remind himself that there were other people in the world that needed defending from the Akatsuki. He made himself picture Naruto, who was nothing more than a victim of circumstance. He thought of Sakura, who would go and get herself pointlessly killed for the sake of friendship.

 

Or so he tried. All he could think of was his brother who was dead on the other side of the fire. His brother, whose greatest weakness was being too human to stop caring about his dear friend.

 

The flames began to flicker and fade, giving Sasuke enough of a gap to cross to the other side. The Akatsuki were long gone, leaving a lone figure hunched over bloody grass.

 

“Brother!” Sasuke rushed to Itachi's side. Itachi raised his head at the sound and Sasuke came up short upon seeing his blind brother no longer had eyes at all.

 

“Kakuzu,” Itachi rasped, “He would have taken the Sharingan to make a profit on the black market…”

 

“Why did they let you live?” Sasuke crouched down, willing himself not to be weak. Willing himself not to cry.

 

“They didn't,” a harsh, wet cough followed by a mouthful of blood spat, “There's a team of unknown shinobi approaching.”

 

Sasuke muttered a string of curses under his breath. He reached out to help his brother to his feet, when a strong stab of pain caught him by surprise. He grasped at his neck, at the source of the curse. He could feel the skin of his arm tearing away from itself.

 

“I—I can't…” Sasuke sank to the ground, utterly defeated.

 

“It's over, Sasuke,” Itachi's voice grew faint, “There's nothing we can do. Except...”

 

“`Except'?”

 

“Fetch me my sword.”

 

Sasuke's head snapped up, despite the agony it caused. He knew what his brother was planning. It shouldn't have mattered at this point, but it did to Sasuke.

 

“I failed. I'm willing to accept that,” Itachi murmured, “It's probably the only real choice I'll have in this life.”

 

Sasuke crawled to where the weapon lay. It felt far heavier in his hand than it rightly should have. He passed it on to his brother, who placed his hand over Sasuke's as he accepted it.

 

Even at the end of things, there is always choice.

 

* * *

 

“Were the two of you close?” he asked once, during one of his more candid moments, “She seemed upset to see you go.”

 

“She is an ally, nothing more,” his voice was cool as ever, “Though I remind her a little of someone she used to know. It's my understanding she hadn't been able to save him on a mission long ago.”

 

“That's too bad for her,” came the dry reply, “But it doesn't answer what you felt for her.”

 

“My life has never allowed for any such thing, which is all for the best. I know she is bothered to this day by leaving the person she loved behind for the sake of the mission. A shinobi gains nothing from being attached to others. It is better I remain alone, as you now are.”

 

It was a painfully honest reminder. He gained back only one good thing, but there was nothing else left. They both left home at the same age to lead dark, empty lives. Even if it was to keep the land and its people safe, even if he sometimes dared to think he was content to have what little he did, it was a stark way to live.

 

He wondered if the man across from him had broken some girl's heart when he left, as he had.

 

Most of the time, he found himself fearing for his friend's safety from the impending attack. But at this moment, he suddenly wished to see her again. But then he recalled his days in the dark, and the taint he had put on his memory of her just to get through those vile moments of a monster's hands on his skin. It was times like these that he hated himself the most.

 

 

 

To be continued…