Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Regret Not A Thing ❯ Ch. 16: Before I Go ( Chapter 16 )

Regret Not A Thing

By Mizerable

 

 

Ch 16: Before I Go

 

 

Hinata worried at her bottom lip as she carried on with Sasuke's medical treatment. She could hear Shizune speaking with Anko in hushed tones just beyond the door. Sasuke sat tensely, soaked with cold sweat and trying to hide his tremors. His left arm was balanced against her shoulder like a heavy stone as she tended to his latest wound. A new laceration had opened beneath his arm pit, running horizontally across the top of his rib cage. She tried to keep the worry from showing in her face. Somehow she just couldn't tell him.

 

`If the infection reaches his heart, it's all over.'

 

“Hinata?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Don't tell Sakura.”

 

“…Okay.”

 

* * *

 

Neji and Shikamaru stood at attention before Tsunade while giving their mission proposal.

 

“We believe there is a person of interest currently seeking refuge in Water Country,” Neji explained, “We understand it is not common policy to cross the border there. However, there is a very good chance to gain valuable information.”

 

“This would be strictly a recon mission,” Shikamaru took her silence for disapproval, “We have no intention of risking the chance of war by entering the country.”

 

Tsunade balanced her chin against the palm of her hand, withdrawn and pensive. She scarcely had spared them a glance since they had entered her office. One had to wonder if she was even listening at all.

 

“You boys know what you're doing,” she finally responded, “I have no reason to doubt your judgment.”

 

“Then,” Shikamaru took a breath, knowing this was what would make or break the plan, “Can you also approve a request for Sakura to accompany us on this mission?”

 

That got her attention.

 

“Why…?”

 

“Her genjutsu is very well-suited for the terrain there. It would give us a huge advantage to remain concealed while tracking our target,” Neji answered crisply, “Not to mention—”

 

“Fine,” Tsunade cut him off, “I can see you've given this a lot of thought. Well, good luck.”

 

The two nodded curtly before making their exit. Tsunade watched them disappear and imagined them to be running away. Shikamaru, who was a workaholic to avoid giving his mind a moment to think. Neji, who was trying to postpone a marriage he wanted no part of. And Sakura, who was trying to escape the town Sasuke had returned to. Plus, Tsunade mused, Sakura was undoubtedly running from her as well.

 

Just as the door clicked shut, it burst back open as Naruto barged into the room. Tsunade would have to talk with Shizune about allowing unexpected guests to just waltz in.

 

“Let me go with them,” Naruto demanded.

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“But they told me Sakura-chan was going with them! You owe me at least this much.”

 

“And you know damn well why you can't,” Tsunade snapped back, “The Akatsuki--!”

 

“Fuck them! I'd rather face the whole lot of `em than stay stuck here. Not while he's still around.”

 

“…I'm sorry. But I've made my decision. Don't force me to put you under surveillance to keep you from doing something foolish.”

 

Naruto sighed, scowling, “Nah, he ain't worth it.”

 

He left sulking and shoulders sagging, causing Tsunade's guilt to mount. These kids were breaking her heart.

 

Naruto leaned against the door outside the Hokage's office. Shizune was watching him with sympathetic eyes. He exhaled heavily, indulging in his bittersweet relief.

 

Success.

 

* * *

 

Neji and Shikamaru exited the administrative building, adrenaline silently racing through their veins. Considering how smoothly that went, it made them both feel uneasy over how hard the actual trip may actually be.

 

“I'll take my leave here,” Neji stated, “There are some things I need to take care of before we leave.”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Shikamaru gave a casual wave. He would have gone his separate way, until Neji leveled a rather pointed look at him. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, unsure of what was expected of him.

 

“I suggest you do the same,” Neji advised.

 

That was the crux of it. Neither really knew exactly what to expect from this mission. They were about to head into enemy territory and meet with a woman they knew nothing about. And all because they were trusting Sasuke's word, someone openly declared a traitor. Who knew what they were really getting involved with, or how long they would be gone?

 

In other words: leave nothing unfinished.

 

Shikamaru kept a neutral expression and let Neji depart before his Byakugan picked up on any subtle nuances. Of course there were things he should do. People he should see. Amends he should make. Shikamaru was known for being so methodical and thorough in all ventures, but the only course of action he could bring himself to do was to do nothing.

 

Still the coward.

 

He found himself in a long-abandoned spot, lying in the grass watching the clouds go by. If for whatever reason this mission went sour, he supposed this was something he would miss. And yet he hadn't come to this place in years. Not since the only other person he knew who had appreciated it was gone. But still. There was something to say for nostalgia.

 

“What did they have to do to get you out of the office?”

 

Shikamaru rolled his eyes up to find the upside-down form of Temari in his vision. Great.

 

“Gotta leave early tomorrow,” he grumbled.

 

“Oh? Big mission?” There was a certain teasing quality to her voice.

 

“None of your business,” he muttered.

 

“Don't be such an ass,” she flopped down onto the grass next to them, “It's not like I don't know you're in the Anbu.”

 

He chose not to say anything further and so the two lay side by side, arms behind their heads, watching the clouds pass.

 

“Hmm, this is pretty nice,” Temari commented, “The sun's too strong back home to just lie around and watch the day go by.”

 

“Is that why you're in town all the time?” Shikamaru asked blandly.

 

“Naturally,” she answered dryly, “You know, aside from that whole work thing.”

 

Shikamaru made a noncommittal sound of agreement. It was nice to be back in this spot again, even if it meant enduring a battle of sarcasm with Temari.

 

“After all, no one can ever say I'm in Konoha for my social life,” she added.

 

Shikamaru glanced over at Temari as she rose to her feet. There was something familiar about the tone of her voice, something she'd said years ago. Her words during that failed mission had pointed out Shikamaru had at least been lucky enough to have friends who would sacrifice their lives for his sake. The feeling was still there in her, that resentment. Shikamaru hadn't caught it back then, but he recognized it was deeper than that.

 

“I guess I'll see you when I see you,” she offered cheerfully enough before trekking back up the hill.

 

Yes, Shikamaru understood now. Though he couldn't figure out why she'd bother coming to him to fix the situation. He wasn't particularly good company these days. He couldn't do anything for Ino. And he certainly wasn't doing any good for himself.

 

He couldn't change the fact that Temari was lonely.

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting now, especially brilliant as it was wont to be after a previous day's rain. Tenten sat on her porch and was utterly despondent to the scene. The world just didn't seem as bright as it used to be. And here she thought she would never be the type of person to grow so morose just because things hadn't gone her way…

 

“You could have told us.”

 

She was startled by the sound of Neji's voice. It had been a long time since anyone had been able to approach her without her noticing. This was also the first time she was without anything to say. Words weren't going to do any good this time.

 

He stood by silently while she stared at her feet. There was no sense in pressing the issue. Not with her.

 

“I thought…” she finally began, collecting her thoughts, “I thought I had a chance. I didn't want to make everyone worry over it.”

 

“So I noticed,” he replied dryly.

 

“And I wanted to believe all my hard work had meant something,” he noticed her hands were bandaged, “Now I keep training for missions I will never go on. For battles I will never have. Because I don't know anything else.”

 

“It was hardly for nothing. You were as integral to our team as any of us. I imagine you could say those years were important for you.”

 

Tenten smiled faintly at his attempts to comfort her. Perhaps his words might sound a bit standoffish to anyone else, but that was just Neji. She wouldn't change it for the world.

 

“It's unfair, you know. We're both in such similar situations, but I really envy you.”

 

And now it was Neji's turn to be surprised. If he was going to be completely honest, he didn't think either of them really lucked out in the end.

 

“You still get to be a ninja,” Tenten pointed out, “And even though you hate it, you still get to have a last name and be part of something. You have an identity. My family wouldn't even give me that.”

 

The words dropped like stones around them. It's like people always say, a person doesn't know how good they have it until they find someone with less.

 

“You've got your Anbu gear with you,” Tenten blurted out, desperate to change the subject.

 

“A mission came up. I don't know how long I'll be gone.”

 

“Oh…This is probably goodbye then,” Tenten admitted and returned to staring at her feet, “I won't be allowed to see you after…”

 

“I figured as much.”

 

She forced herself to smile warmly, to try and convey how grateful she was that he would come see her one more time. One last time.

 

“Thank you, Neji. This really means a lot to me,” she would not cry, “Be sure to give my regards to Lee and Gai-sensei, okay?”

 

“It's unfortunate there is nothing to be done to help you gain your own last name.”

 

“Don't be silly!” she managed a genuine laugh. Neji was just so serious and formal and so typically him.

 

“But would you at least accept mine?”

 

She snapped her head up fast enough to get whiplash. He couldn't be asking…It couldn't be…

 

“You—You don't mean—?”

 

“That's precisely what I mean,” he answered sternly, crossing his arms.

 

“But my family…And what about your family? How?” Tenten stopped when he narrowed his eyes at her.

 

“I doubt we'll be killed for it,” Neji scoffed, “Don't you think it's about time we left this cage?”

 

That was the clincher.

 

“I'll wait for you,” Tenten declared, “Go on your mission and I'll do whatever it takes to be here when you get back.”

 

* * *

 

Night has made the sky its home. There was no moon but the stars were especially bright. Even in this late (or early) hour, Sasuke was ever light sleeper and he jerked awake at the sound of tapping at his window. He wondered if this would be the message that warned him of danger right before the Akatsuki descended on him. He drew the shade open and found Sakura perched on the ledge. Unquestioning, he opened the window for her.

 

“We're leaving just before sunrise,” she announced and he nodded once in return. The mission had been approved. The two remained motionless and silent; Sakura likely having stopped by to inform him of the current situation before she left. Now that the message had been passed along, it seemed neither knew what came next. Sasuke shifted over in his bed as an unspoken invitation for her to come inside. Sakura flashed him a rather unreadable look, but as usual his eyes weren't on her.

 

She climbed through the window and lied down beside him, both staring at the ceiling. Sakura mused what her younger self might have done to share a bed with Sasuke. It only served to remind her of how shallow she used to be. Sasuke, meanwhile, wondered why being so close to Sakura or Naruto didn't make him nervous the way he was around everyone else.

 

Because they're the only people you're able to trust completely. Even though you know you could still hurt them, they will never do the same.

 

Time drifted away without their notice, just as their fingers had become intertwined without their notice. They said nothing, for what was left to say? Sakura would leave on a mission because she wanted to save him. He'd given her all the information he could to help her get there safely, not to mention she would have two Anbu members with her. The only thing left was admitting this night was ending.

 

“I should get going,” Sakura sat up, turning to look at him. It's only now that she realized he intentionally avoided looking at him. Even though she didn't know all the whys, she felt his guilt implicitly. It didn't matter that she and Naruto had given their forgiveness. Sasuke couldn't forgive himself.

 

“I promise we'll get you better, Sasuke-kun.”

 

Sakura felt herself grow hesitant, but clung to her courage desperately as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his forehead. He tensed beneath her touch and she wondered if she made a mistake. Disappointment swelled within her but she didn't have time to spare for regrets. There was a mission to complete.

 

“Hang in there,” she offered before climbing back onto the windowsill.

 

Sakura held back a yelp of surprise when she felt him grab her wrist and yank her backwards. She landed on her side with Sasuke's good arm wrapped around her, her back against his chest.

 

“Stay,” he murmured, “For a few more minutes, just stay.”

 

She bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from crying, letting him hold her. She hadn't thought much on that night Team 7 reunited and had all clung to one another. Now that things weren't as emotionally charged and it was just the two of them, she felt overwhelmed. She'd waited all her life for a moment like this. She never expected to feel so saddened by it.

 

“I'm not a good person,” his voice was muffled by her hair, “While I was away…The things I did…”

 

“You made it back, though. I'm not going to lose you again,” Sakura never thought she would hear Sasuke speak in such pleading tones, “The other day, when I said I never…I want you to know I didn't mean it. I still—I'm still in—”

 

“Don't say it.”

 

Sakura turned in his embrace to face him. At least he could finally look her in the face.

 

“I understand,” a forced smile, heartbroken, “Though I really should go now…”

 

He tightened his grip on her, meeting her gaze.

 

“You'll be gone for a while, but don't act like this. I'll still be here when you return. So don't say your last goodbyes to me.”

 

They were so close, their noses almost touching. There was a magnetic pull between the two, both stubbornly keeping themselves from closing the distance.

 

“I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun.”

 

“You never have.”

 

* * *

 

Lee and Ino arrive at the training ground and naturally noticed Neji was absent. However, it was hard to miss that there were several guests present.

 

“Good morning, everyone,” Gai greeted, “As you can see, we'll be doing something a little different today.”

 

Six pairs of eyes were focused intently on him.

 

“Well, the first thing on the agenda is Neji had a mission come up so he'll be away for a little while. Thus, Shino will be filling in for the time being.”

 

“But what about your team?” Lee turned to Shino.

 

“As I'm sure you have heard, Hinata is involved with Uchiha's treatment,” a hint of bitterness, “Sakura was requested for Hyuuga's mission.”

 

“Sakura was?” Ino blurted out.

 

“I assumed you knew. Shikamaru is also on that mission, after all.”

 

Ino shook her head before turning to the other group.

 

“Did he tell you anything, Temari-san?”

 

Temari felt extremely uncomfortable. Did everyone think something was going on with her and Shikamaru?

 

“No,” Temari found herself lying with a perfect poker face, “I just assumed my brothers and I were contacted to take part in a joint mission.”

 

Shikamaru, you idiot. You didn't even have the nerve to tell your so-called “best friend” the truth.

 

Ino tried to keep up a calm appearance. She couldn't let the others know she was completely in the dark. Granted, Shikamaru had made himself scarce since the news about Sasuke's return had broken out. But he didn't even bother to tell her he had an Anbu mission?

 

He didn't tell me he was leaving. He didn't tell me anything.

 

* * *

 

“You want me to help with what?” he eyed the bottle on the table, “You've got to be joking.”

 

“It isn't terribly hard. But I can't see well enough anymore to do it myself.”

 

“Why the hell do you wear nail polish, anyway?”

 

“To conceal a weakness,” came the rather sensible response, “I used to chew my nails as a way to calm my nerves. I'd keep going until my fingers were bloody and raw. And I just cannot afford to show any vulnerabilities, considering the position I'm in.”

 

“…So this actually works?” he felt like a scolded child.

 

“People look at this and assume it is just a peculiarity of my personality. For me, it is a reminder that I have appearances to uphold. I can't afford to slip. And now, neither can you.”

 

 

 

To be continued…