Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ridding Me of You ❯ Chapter 9: The Naked Truth ( Chapter 9 )

Today's Quote


I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.

-Dr. Seuss

 

Author's Notes:

 

I am drinking wine and I am liking it! I am soooo gonnna be tipsy after this! hehehhehehehhe

 

After 8h hours…..okay I am officially sober, but extremely sleepy. I could not believe it took so long to complete this one short chapter.

 

DISCLAIMER:

 

Me not own Naruto.

 

 

Ridding Me of You

By Boyarina

 

Chapter 9: The Naked Truth

 

 

 

The whole point of this little exercise is for team not to get flustered, or confused, or be downright captivated by their teammates' nudity, which is actually pretty understandable since any enemies that they may encounter might play dirty and use every under-handed ways there is so they could win. Considering that they have a female on their team-- a very alluring, and booty-licious female, might he add—it would not be so surprising if the enemy captures her as a bait or henged into her and ensnare them with her loveliness. Well, ensnare him, at least.

 

Sure, they would not be teammates forever but since most of their missions now would consist the three of them, better be prepared for everything than regret missing on anything for their training. Naruto would have to admit, Kaka-sensei is a real genius when it comes to foreseeing these kinds of events, but a real dick for letting them do this.

 

All technicalities, and crappy stuff about this being beneficial for the team aside, Naruto would rather not start stripping right in front of them like there's going to be those large smileys that you see in the movies would suddenly paste itself on everyone's privates once they are on their birthday suits. He just isn't that comfortable about the whole thing, not like the Uchiha over there. That guy simply has no qualms regarding any form of decency—just because he is not attracted to Sakura, he doesn't have the right to act like this is just a stroll in the park for him.

 

What is that Sasuke being so macho about anyway? He has a limp dick, whereas Naruto's member is standing stiff like the good soldier it had always been. Come to think of it, he is actually being modest (and not the stupid braggart he always is) by keeping it tucked safely inside of his pants.

 

“You have to get rid of the boxer shorts, Naruto-kun.” Kakashi--the biggest-perverted-sensei drawled out, as he hooked his pointer finger into the waistband of Naruto's undergarment, extending it and letting it snap back in place.

 

“Quit that,” Naruto growled out, taking several steps away from the man he had been unfortunate enough to call sensei.

 

“What is that you don't want us to see, dobe?” Sasuke harrumphed. “It can't be different from what I and Kakashi have. Quit wasting our time, dead last, and strip!”

 

Naruto gave out dry, I-have-never-been-so-NOT-amused-all-my-life laugh. Had he been in one of his trips whence he would purposely go and embarrass himself just to see if he really would make an ass of himself and feel humiliated about it, he would have proudly pulled down the front of his boxer shorts and flash Sasuke the thing that he assumed is not much different from his own. That will show the bastard just how dissimilar they are in size, length, width, and over-all maleness.

 

Taking in consideration just how aroused he is, Naruto is pretty certain that Sasuke would, first of all, be enlightened, and then, of course, consequently stupefied by how poles apart they are!

 

He is big! He is huge! He is in COMMANDO mode and them sissies would not be able to do anything about it!

 

Unconsciously, Naruto took a superman's pose—legs wide part, hands grasping both hips, nose stuck in the air and glorying on his superiority over that bastard Uchiha. He had not even felt himself move an inch and he actually thought he is merely just gloating in his head, but apparently his body moved accordingly to what he had been imagining him doing.

 

Stupidly, he left himself unguarded and without meaning to, presented the one piece of clothing that he is wearing to Kakashi-sensei's sharpened kunai. In one single slash, his boxers were cut into two separate halves. He would have caught the pieces to cover himself up again, but he noticed the vandalism rendered to his boxer shorts a nanosecond too late before a rather strong gust of wind flew by, taking with it the remains of his underwear.

 

“Gahhhh!!” Naruto had begun to give chase to retrieve his garment, however, Kakashi's arm shot out and blocked his way from proceeding. To prevent himself getting decapitated, Naruto dug his heels in a grinding halt and with a glare that would have lit up a factory furnace, he glowered at his teacher.

 

“Git! My boxer shorts are flying away!”

 

Kakashi-sensei's eyebrows drew in a deep frown—most likely a result of his not so respectful attitude.

 

“I could see that, Naruto-kun,” His teacher replied curtly, “but that is the idea of this training. For all of you to be stark naked. Do you see Sakura-chan complaining? Don't be such a wimp, Uzumaki.”

 

Naruto blanched. Leaning closer to his sensei, he hissed. “I have a MINOR problem about the whole thing!” Then he pointedly looked down there and discreetly signaled his teacher to do the same thing.

 

Seeing that so painfully obvious and bulging dick, Kakashi-sensei's face cleared up and his mouth formed a small `o' of wonder and amusement.

 

“That is not much of a problem, not unless you're having an erection for Sasuke.” Kakashi-sensei shrugged coolly, unmindful of the fact Naruto nearly keeled over by what he had said. “But, you know I won't hold it against you.”

 

Mortified, horrified and utterly disgusted that is what Naruto is feeling right now. He shuddered at the very idea of getting a hard-on for that extremely flaccid (LITERALLY! Just look at him!) Uchiha. He spat, he swiped his tongue, but the horrid taste that idea left in his mouth just wouldn't come out.

 

He should probably just barf whatever he had eaten this morning. In that way, the acid from the half-digested food could wash out this taste. Ugh, horrid, horrid taste! With this intention in mind, he prepared to stick his finger deep inside his throat when he heard a barely surreptitious growl behind him.

 

“What in the world are you doing?” Sakura said, her anger barely in check. “Are you actually trying to make it look like being attracted to Sasuke-kun is the worst thing that could happen to you?! Is that it? And why are you attracted him?!”

 

What is Sakura trying to do to him? Is she deliberately trying to incite (and excite) him? Why is she standing there, barely a foot or two away from him with nothing on and not even trying to hide any of her oh-god-they-look-oh-so-delicious-they-are-just-begging-to-be-held assets? Doesn't she know that she is not safe around him in this state? She should be far away, preferably in a distant land where he would not be able to see her bare ass in order for him to not to ravage her on the spot.

 

Naruto wanted to groan out loud, then if given the chance, start groveling on his knees and with face mooching down the ground. He doesn't know what evil thing he has done this time to be put through to this kind of punishment!

 

“I am not attracted to teme!” Naruto screamed, nearly tearing out his hair in frustration. “I….” He trailed off, completely flustered, and having no idea what to say next. The absurdity of the situation, the scent of Sakura's shampoo, and the fact that she flickered to the spot right in front of him, her body pressed forward and the out of place scowl marring her face (Gods, he had never been so captivated by her before), had thrown him off. He is currently depleted of all arguments and for sure nothing sensible would come out of his mouth.

 

“It's going to be mighty difficult for you to fight with Sakura-chan if that erection is because of her.” Kakashi-baka-and-perverted-sensei commented on the background.

 

And here Naruto is thinking that everything else had fallen out and he and Sakura were the only ones that had remained. Why can't there simply be a black hole when you needed one? Or why can't one simply transform into an ostrich so you could instantly bury your head into the ground? That way he would not be able to hear anything, and more so, he could even pretend nothing has ever happened!

 

“You really should loose the erection, dobe.” Sasuke, cool, brooding Sasuke, just go to put his two cents in, doesn't he?!

 

Naruto gave him his most withering stare (not that the bastard needs further withering, he is already wilted enough as it is). “It's not like I wanted it to be there in the first place!” Turning to Sakura, he said in a pleading voice, “Saku-chan would you please move a little?”

 

Sakura sucked in her breath as her face scrunched up in anger. “Don't tell me you are disgusted by me too!”

 

Au contraire.

 

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his face in consternation. “Believe me if that is the case, we won't even be having this conversation right now.”

 

“Oh.”

Sakura straightened up and FINALLY became self-conscious of her appearance. She smoothed out an imaginary dress, gliding her hands over her stomach and down to her bare hips. Upon noticing that she isn't wearing one, she chuckled nervously and then started rubbing her left forearm with her right hand.

 

She is not moving away from him! Come on, Saku-chan! Move!

 

“Considering that I am partially the problem…I should probably take care of that for you.”

 

Naruto choked. “What? NO!” Catching the annoyed expression that got itself pasted on Sakura's face for the second time around, Naruto tried to recover and take back what he said. “I mean…. It'll go away. I promise.”

 

“Of course it won't!” Sakura responded matter-of-factly. Holding out her two hands, she took a deliberate step towards him. “We'll get this fixed right now!”

 

To Naruto this would have been heaven-suddenly-descended-upon-the-earth kind of thing, but the presence of Sasuke-teme and Kakashi-hentai ruined it all for him. For the sake of his sanity and for Sakura's virginity (which should not be taken in public, should not be taken on public, SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN IN PUBLIC!), Naruto hastened to back pedal away from Sakura.

 

“Stop it Sakura! It will go away on its own!”

 

“Why are you being such a pussy!” Sakura stopped long enough to point a finger at him and into the ground beside her. “You come back right here, mister!”

 

“You should probably just beat the hell out of him, Sakura-chan.” Kakashi-baka-and-peverted-sensei called out. “Then end it with a body lock. That should fix him.”

 

“Why is Sasuke not included in this?!” Naruto hollered, still keeping pace with his backing away from Sakura.

 

“He'll be right with you!”

 

Naruto couldn't believe this. Sakura would be manhandling him moments from now. Honestly, with that feral grin, just add in a sprinkle of claws and a swishing tail, she would be a perfect of image of Kyuubi, stalking him.

 

Oh Lords, what is he supposed to do here now?