Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ridding Me of You ❯ Chapter: Houston We're Going Home ( Chapter 13 )

Author's notes:

I got a new pair of contact lenses which I think is making me hallucinate. You see, ever since I got these, I kept seeing bot@fanfiction.net review of Ridding Me of You everywhere. I don't have proof yet if it's me, or the contact lenses that are making me see these illusions but I certainly need a cure.

Would it be too hard to ask if you help me cure my illness? Give me reviews and stop these disturbing images? (Did that sound like I was rhyming?)

Please help save a boyarina today. Give her a review.

DISCLAIMER:
I do not own Naruto.

Ridding Me of You
By boyarina

Chapter 13: Houston, we're going home.

Jealousy is a feeling Sakura could not entirely relate with. It's not completely alienating her since she had encountered it a time or two whenever Hinata is around, but still, to her jealousy is one of those emotions that is nearly the replica of being constipated for one whole freaking day.

You had at least experienced being constipated once, no? That feeling of wanting that damn crap to just Get Out Of There without having much success on your attempts to dislodge it; that feeling of exhaustion as you force it out of your system to no avail because that crap and you anus is not exactly cooperating with you; that feeling of desperation as your imagination goes wild enough for you to assume that that crap would stay stuck there forever with no apparent cure… this is exactly what Sakura has been going through since that moment she saw Naruto being held in place by Anko-san with nothing on, and completely aroused by whatever Anko-san had been babbling about in his ear.

That is so unforgivable! Naruto's just getting himself molested by none other than the number one woman pervert Mitarashi Anko!

“You can drop me off here.” Sakura frostily informed her transportation.

Naruto has something up his sleeve and she was definitely not liking it. He had seemingly taken the long route to her home, based on the path he had initially followed when they left Anko-san's lair, but now he's just going off to a direction located nowhere in her internal map of `home.'

He is supposed to take her home so she could sulk in peace! If he is planning to take her somewhere they could discuss “things' Sakura is not going to give him that chance. She is not willing;  so NOT disposed to broach to him the matter of her infatuation.

Only people lacking her Van Gogh level of intellect would do that!

“I could walk home,” she continued huffing when Naruto looked down at her, one eyebrow raised up in disbelief. IF she had correctly interpreted that facial expression, Sakura would have to say that Naruto is definitely thinking that she has lost a screw or two along their journey.

“Given that the place below us is not a bustling street filled with people,” Naruto slowly explained as he continued to leap from one rooftop to another, “I'd do that, Sakura-chan.”

She quirked her mouth to the side in annoyance. She hates it when Naruto makes more sense than she does at times.

“You're point is?”

Two Naruto eyebrows are raised at this point. “Well, for one thing, you're naked.” He cleared his throat, acting like a professor he may never be. “And two, people generally don't walk naked in public.”

Had Naruto's logic been a person or even just an inanimate object, Sakura would have happily gunned it down this very second. With a nuclear war head.

“What's your brilliant idea then?” she grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Take you to my apartment, get you some clothes, take you home. In that order.” He answered with a sigh.

“Got anymore females there, Uzumaki?” she shot back without really meaning to. She earned a somewhat pained look from Naruto for what she said.

“What? Like pets?”

Sakura thought it better to shut her trap right then and there.

“Sakura-chan?”

She's not going to be let off that easily, is she?!

“Yeah, female pets, Naruto. DO you have any of those?” She said, grasping at straws as she tried to come up with a suitable lie. “I'm… ah, al-allergic!”

“Oh.” Naruto crestfallen due to some reason Sakura could not put a finger on.

Eyes lifting to meet hers, he asked, “Would you happen to be allergic to foxes to?”

“You pertaining to yourself, Uzumaki?” she joked, tracing one whisker mark on his cheek. “What? You turn into a fox at night?”
His face cleared up. “Er, if you want to?” he asked cheekily, grinning as he did so.

Sakura smiled at him in return, enjoying the easy camaraderie that blanketed the two of them. However, Inner Sakura chose that very moment to rear her head and mock her.

You are one besotted little girl, Haruno.

A knot formed on her forehead at that so NOT amusing comment. Her subconscious must be thinking that she could be spared from the Harshness of Reality as she tends to just throw her weight a round with no apparent regard to her safety, but Sakura would definitely rectify that.

Closing her eyes, she went into the realms of her twisted brain and fashioned a football out of Inner Sakura.

Shannaro! She yelled as she swung a mighty kick to her blabbering subconscious. As Inner Sakura rocketed to never ever ever land, she dusted her hands off nodding with supreme satisfaction at her handiwork.

That'll teach that subconscious to just cork her pipe hole in.

“We're home, Sak—I mean we are here,” Naruto announced, making Sakura snap her eyes open. She saw him scratching his cheek, looking very sheepish and like he is on the brink of apologizing. Considering, in her most honest opinion, he doesn't have to anything to say sorry for (Nothing wrong with the statement “We are home, Sakura-chan.” None at all. Actually, it might even have a nicer ring to it if he added something like “Do you want to have lunch or have wild fantastic intercourse first?”), she decided to butt in.

“Neat,” she blurted out as Naruto slipped their bodies through the narrow door opening. “Surprisingly. Definitely needs redecorating though. You interested? I don't charge much.”

Naruto chuckled, striding to a futon not 4 or 5 meters away from the front door. Upon reaching it, he lowered her down carefully (and at some point came nearly an inch from her face), but hastily straightened back up.

Dang.

“Um, how does a loose shirt and skimpy boxer shirt sound to you, Saku-chan?” he asked turning away from her. He made his way to one corner of the room and knelt in front of a 3-rowed drawer sitting on that spot.

If only she could say that she prefers being naked than having any clothes on. Then again, she'll be refusing to be garbed in Naruto's loose shirt and skimpy boxer shorts. Hmmmm, which one is going to make Naru-chan want her more?

“Skimpy shorts are good.” She said, positioning herself so she could lie on her belly, facing him. After a few minor adjustments, she continued, “Naruto, would you happen to have any skimpy shirts too? It's kinda hot in here.”

Naruto paused from the task of rummaging through his garments and stared at her. Based on the expression on his face, it appears like he is either going to start salivating or is starting to get as parched as that cactus left in the Sahara Desert in an extended summer season.  

“Ah,” he said, swallowing thickly. “Would this do?”

He pulled a random shirt from his drawer without actually glancing at what he had picked. Unbeknownst to him, he just had given Sakura a reason to stay longer in his place.

She smiled her slow evil smile as she got up from the futon. Breasts bouncing exaggeratedly, she marched up to him and snatched the thinner than sheer lace shirt dangling from his fingertips. She is not going to give him the chance to examine his choice and consequently replace it with something that would just be too modest for her.

When you've got it, you have to flaunt it—this is operating motto for today.

“This'll be perfect,” she answered, trying not to crow with happiness as she donned his shirt with relish. Whilst Naruto zoned out (gaping at the miracle that she is) Sakura took that opportunity to peer down at his opened rawer and get the skimpy shorts she wanted.

Unfortunately for her, she got more than what she bargained for.

“Naruto, why is there a thong in here?”


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