Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Risque Redux: A Side Story ❯ Chapter 5
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kingslayer 
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Comedy / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.07.2005 | Updated On: 11.07.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 854 | Visits: 614 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Romance / Comedy / Shounen | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.07.2005 | Updated On: 11.07.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 854 | Visits: 614 | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: Don’t own Naruto, don’t own Sasuke -- no matter how much I’d like to. This is just for my own amusement; no profit is made.
A/N: Um. Yeah. I don't know what happened here. I'm just as baffled as you guys probably are... but yes. I actually wrote. Not only that, I'm updating this -- which is shocking as I haven't updated anything since last year. So, uh, enjoy? It must be the exam induced insanity.
Also, thanks for the comments! I am always appreciative of feedback. ;)
And of course, a thank you to Moe for the quick look-over. My typos must be eliminated.
Completed: 7 November 2005
Sasuke looked around him, his expression caught between wide-eyed bafflement and stunned disbelief. Here, encircling the fire created by Kakashi, who wanted atmosphere, sat the members of the Pervert Hood. Some looked proud and leering, which made Sasuke nauseous; others just looked red -- poor Hinata; no doubt Kakashi or Jiraiya dragged her blushing and stammering into the club -- and a couple just looked dazed.
Poor bastard, Sasuke thought as he took a closer look at Neji. He was looking a tad too pale even for his usually milk-white complexion, and if one was paying more attention, his left eyebrow was twitching every second or so.
Before Sasuke could contemplate Neji’s mental health and being, Kakashi appeared dramatically with smoke curling around his limbs much too elegantly for someone who was as dirty minded as Kakashi had shown himself to be.
Show-off. First he and Jiraiya tries to kill me by dragging me into pervertism -- and now I can’t even train! Meeting this and we have a surprise for you that -- well, he can shove it up his ass for all I care.
Sasuke blinked and then another thought entered his mind: he’d probably enjoy that. Immediately, Sasuke started choking.
He was going to be sick. He was going to die. No, he was going to throw up first and then die in the puddle of his own vomit.
Damn Kakashi and his ass.
And he really, really didn’t need a visual of that to enter his mind at the moment.
He shuddered and choked some more, and then a large hand pounded on his back until he was bent over and trying shove away the enthusiastic (too enthusiastic) arm.
“Stop! Just -- ” Sasuke coughed, “Stop. That. I,” Sasuke coughed again and moved away from Jiraiya whose eyes were slitted in a look Sasuke had seen on Naruto’s face many times. Yes, that was indeed the look Naruto got when he was being particularly gleeful, often when he had some nefarious prank up his sleeve.
“You!” Sasuke sputtered, trying to catch his breath while slowly stepping away from the long-haired pervert freak who was trying to pound his face into the dirt.
“What? I thought you needed a helping hand.” Jiraiya shrugged, sniffing delicately. “Brats these days, no respect. No appreciation for the help of their respected, famous elders. What has the world come to?”
Sasuke twitched. He'd finally caught his breath, with no help from Jiraiya, and now the old hermit was trying to take credit for something he didn't even do? Sasuke had a feeling he was going to go insane -- he was sure that given enough time, he would snap and start a homicidal rampage.
He took deep, calming breaths -- killing is bad. Killing will get you in trouble with the Fifth. Killing will stain your clothes and getting blood stains out suck.
So. No killing. Sasuke was about to walk over to an oak tree and lean on it (because he was getting tired and lazy) when Kakashi clapped his hands twice and said, “Ahem. Welcome to our monthly Pervert Hood meeting. I know you're all excited to be here -- Ebisu especially, since he looks very orgasmic -- but, um, what was my point? Oh, yes. Ahem. That's right. We're here to introduce our newest member of our club -- Sasuke. Please all welcome him with pervertedness and share all our perverted goods. Well. Most of them anyway. Remember our hygiene rules, okay?”
Kakashi beamed.
Jiraiya nodded proudly with each sentence.
Sasuke wanted to die and then reincarnate and kill them all before he died again. He also wanted to pretend Kakashi had never said anything about the hygiene rules, because -- because -- Sasuke shuddered. No. That was too disturbing to contemplate. And by all holy and true, he was not going to contemplate it.
No.
No.
Oh, hell.
A/N: Um. Yeah. I don't know what happened here. I'm just as baffled as you guys probably are... but yes. I actually wrote. Not only that, I'm updating this -- which is shocking as I haven't updated anything since last year. So, uh, enjoy? It must be the exam induced insanity.
Also, thanks for the comments! I am always appreciative of feedback. ;)
And of course, a thank you to Moe for the quick look-over. My typos must be eliminated.
Completed: 7 November 2005
Sasuke looked around him, his expression caught between wide-eyed bafflement and stunned disbelief. Here, encircling the fire created by Kakashi, who wanted atmosphere, sat the members of the Pervert Hood. Some looked proud and leering, which made Sasuke nauseous; others just looked red -- poor Hinata; no doubt Kakashi or Jiraiya dragged her blushing and stammering into the club -- and a couple just looked dazed.
Poor bastard, Sasuke thought as he took a closer look at Neji. He was looking a tad too pale even for his usually milk-white complexion, and if one was paying more attention, his left eyebrow was twitching every second or so.
Before Sasuke could contemplate Neji’s mental health and being, Kakashi appeared dramatically with smoke curling around his limbs much too elegantly for someone who was as dirty minded as Kakashi had shown himself to be.
Show-off. First he and Jiraiya tries to kill me by dragging me into pervertism -- and now I can’t even train! Meeting this and we have a surprise for you that -- well, he can shove it up his ass for all I care.
Sasuke blinked and then another thought entered his mind: he’d probably enjoy that. Immediately, Sasuke started choking.
He was going to be sick. He was going to die. No, he was going to throw up first and then die in the puddle of his own vomit.
Damn Kakashi and his ass.
And he really, really didn’t need a visual of that to enter his mind at the moment.
He shuddered and choked some more, and then a large hand pounded on his back until he was bent over and trying shove away the enthusiastic (too enthusiastic) arm.
“Stop! Just -- ” Sasuke coughed, “Stop. That. I,” Sasuke coughed again and moved away from Jiraiya whose eyes were slitted in a look Sasuke had seen on Naruto’s face many times. Yes, that was indeed the look Naruto got when he was being particularly gleeful, often when he had some nefarious prank up his sleeve.
“You!” Sasuke sputtered, trying to catch his breath while slowly stepping away from the long-haired pervert freak who was trying to pound his face into the dirt.
“What? I thought you needed a helping hand.” Jiraiya shrugged, sniffing delicately. “Brats these days, no respect. No appreciation for the help of their respected, famous elders. What has the world come to?”
Sasuke twitched. He'd finally caught his breath, with no help from Jiraiya, and now the old hermit was trying to take credit for something he didn't even do? Sasuke had a feeling he was going to go insane -- he was sure that given enough time, he would snap and start a homicidal rampage.
He took deep, calming breaths -- killing is bad. Killing will get you in trouble with the Fifth. Killing will stain your clothes and getting blood stains out suck.
So. No killing. Sasuke was about to walk over to an oak tree and lean on it (because he was getting tired and lazy) when Kakashi clapped his hands twice and said, “Ahem. Welcome to our monthly Pervert Hood meeting. I know you're all excited to be here -- Ebisu especially, since he looks very orgasmic -- but, um, what was my point? Oh, yes. Ahem. That's right. We're here to introduce our newest member of our club -- Sasuke. Please all welcome him with pervertedness and share all our perverted goods. Well. Most of them anyway. Remember our hygiene rules, okay?”
Kakashi beamed.
Jiraiya nodded proudly with each sentence.
Sasuke wanted to die and then reincarnate and kill them all before he died again. He also wanted to pretend Kakashi had never said anything about the hygiene rules, because -- because -- Sasuke shuddered. No. That was too disturbing to contemplate. And by all holy and true, he was not going to contemplate it.
No.
No.
Oh, hell.