Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Sassychan ❯ Chapter 18: Me Missing Voice ( Chapter 18 )

Author's Notes:

Sorry took a little while getting this typed and uploaded. Sorry. Hehehhhe

DISCLAIMER:

I could not get the court to my side and declare me as the rightful owner of Naruto. Ergo, I do not own Naruto.

Sassychan

By Boyarina

Chapter 18: Me Missing Voice

There is no mistaking it. The evil Hokage was the cause of him blacking out. Obviously, it is part of her evil, evil scheme to get him carted off to God-knows-where for he is no longer in the Hokage office and is actually now is a somewhat familiar, though disconcertingly flowery (and dare he say it!) feminine room.

That Godaime is an evil, EVIL person. It is beyond any doubt that she had conned some gullible person to do this for her so she could make his cursed like far more miserable than it already is. She had been EVIL enough to sic Sakura on him—Sakura being the one person whose intent purpose in life is to permanently attach herself to him—therefore, she would be low enough to stoop to this level just in order to punish him from running away to Otokagure.

For the love of God, why are there so many flowers in here? It's giving him the impression they are either trying to stage him a funeral or trying to make him face the inevitable—that he would be a girl and eventually would feel an inescapable attraction to flowers. God forbid that the latter premise actually happens. He would sooner wear a spandex suit than to get googly-eyed over some stupid blooms.

Where is HERE anyway? Though the place is familiar to him (it actually resembles his family dojo, or at least from what he could remember of it), he couldn't be sure as to where in Konoha he could possible be. Basing on what the old bat had mentioned in their meeting, he just might be in the place Sakura have chosen for their living accommodations—which could be anywhere in Konoha really.

Truth to be told, he would never be able to figure out what how that girl thinks. Even when she is saying something out aloud, he could never truly decipher what she actually means. Not that he had actually tried understanding her and the workings of her person; nor did he really want to understand.

“What's the meaning of this?”

Speaking of the devil…

“Naruto, why did you pick a room that's right in front of mine?”

Naruto?1 Sasuke screamed mentally, deeply shaken by the fact that it is not only Sakura's advances that he would have to put up with, but also a certain blond baka's presence.

“Saku-chan! It's not like I am going to peek into your room or something…”

Sasuke gripped his sheets tightly, trying not to bolt out of his futon when he head Naruto's reply. His mind frantic, he thought of the various reasons WHY Naruto would have to pick a room here, of all places, and WHY Sakura—the on person whom he is relying on to do so—had not kicked Naruto out of their house yet.

This is their house and that obaasan had promised him that it is only Sakura that he would have to deal with!

WHY IS NARUTO HERE?

Sasuke's face twitched when he heard something crash against on the door panels—a sure indication that something has been thrown at someone (Naruto, no doubt) but that person has been deft enough to dodge it.

“You stay right there so I could hit you good and proper, you….Kakashi-incarnate!”

Crash!

“Sakura-chan! How can you compare me to that abomination! My mind's pure and innocent!”

Crash!

“Baka! Are you delusional? Your mind is so dirty you would need a dump truck to get all the trash carted off from your brain!”

Crash! Boom!

“Saku-chan! Your diner is burning!”

“Uso!”

“It is! Smoke's coming out of the kitchen!”

The sound of a stampeding herd of elephants resounded against the floorboards as presumably, (though there is really no question about it) Naruto and Sakura made their way to said burning dinner.

“My dinner!” Sakura shrieked.

“Stand back Sakura! I shall prevent us from being all set afire!” This was, of course, unmistakably Naruto.

The gush of water roared off from the direction of the kitchen. Pots, pans, eating utensils clattered noisily in time with the cacophony the flood of water is making. Sakura's outraged yell would have joined in the discord, but it was fortunately ended up in a drowned gurgle.

“Naruto! You are unbelievable!” Sasuke heard Sakura exclaim as soon as the water died down. “How many times do I have to tell you not to use that water jutsu whenever I am within fifty feet of you ?”

Naruto coughed, as though trying to stifle his laughter. “If I remembered correctly, you told me just once. When you were undressing because you got drenched for the first time because of my jutsu.” If he had intended to sound rueful, Naruto definitely and spectacularly failed at it.

The picture though of Naruto's chagrined face, coupled with what he said, something inside Sasuke snapped. Alarm bells deactivated in every corner of his brain and a singular message intercepted all his other thoughts. In big, bold and eye-blinding neon colored lettering, the message read:

“Cover Naruto's eyes! Towel for Sakura! Towel for Sakura! Naruto's going to go blind! What's the use of a blind ninja?”

Advocated by this directive, Sasuke flung his bed covers aside (or futon covers for that matter), unmindful of the fact that just minutes ago, he wanted Naruto to be officially thrown out to the streets, but is now ready to save him from inevitable doom. He would have obeyed his brain's tern orders like the good soldier that he is if not for the two bouncing protrusions that suddenly popped our precisely that second. Apparently, he had been far too distracted to notice that night has fallen and it brought with it his accursed transformation.

Time like these (no, he doesn't need a Juicy), Sasuke just have to pause and QUESTION God as to WHY he is cursed to change into a girl, of all things. Come on, he could have been cursed to change into a bunny and that would have served him EXACTLY the same purpose—if not a better way of procreating.

“Excuse me! I was wearing fishnet underneath my clothes that time!” Sakura hollered, making Sasuke start to frantically scramble around to find something that he could wrap around his chest (to cover these pesky boobs), not even wanting to know if Sakura is wearing fishnet THIS time.

Spotting the bandages that are still on his arms and legs (where the hell are his clothes?), Sasuke fumbled his way trying to get them loose. He need to cover his breasts fast because, all things considered, this is an emergency situation! He is very much aware that panicking would get him nowhere, but the though of Sakura disabling Naruto for life is just too UNACCEPTABLE!

Sakura would have to be STOPPED!

“Saku-chan, do I see a little piece of fishnet there….?”

Sasuke squeezed HER eyes shut (yes, officially a female now, with all the rest of male parts gone), mentally bashing Naruto with a rather large hammer. That baka! He is delirious! Couldn't he see how traumatized he is going to be if Sakura gets undressed in front og him for the second time in the same lunar year?

Really! Isn't there a law forbidding Sakura from getting indecent from public! If there is none, she would have to personally see to it that a proposal would be passed to the Hokage regarding this.

Sasuke nearly cut her circulation as she tightened the knot on her chest. She patted her upper torso, making sure that her breasts are completely flattened. Satisfied with her work, she set about roaming her room, intent now on finding some clothes to wear.

Who in the world undressed her earlier!

Locating one kimono, she quickly donned it, and took tow more, tucking them under her arms as she did so. Making short work of the door, she practically flew to the direction where the voices are coming from.

“Yes I am wearing fish—“

Sasuke drowned out the rest of what Sakura is saying and simply barged into the kitchen. She skidded to a halt and without missing a blink, she took a pitcher's stance and threw one of the kimonos at Naruto. It hurtled through the air like a speeding bullet and smacked directly at Naruto's face, much to her satisfaction.

The velocity, the force and the weight of her projectile caused Naruto to stumble back. Not that it mattered to her really for she has other things to see to. Turning to Sakura, she prepared to do the same thing, but one look at Sakura's shining face (shining with malicious delight, no doubt) got her to lower down her arms and back down. Eyes darting to the entrance she came from, Sasuke contemplated on making an abrupt, hasty exit.

As a boy, Sasuke could never understand Sakura, but now, as a girl, she could perfectly (if not painfully) read Sakura as though she is an open book whose Kanji is written in type 32-font size and Gothic Bold font face. There really is no question to it. The pink-haired girl is going to HUG her.

Oh Gods. Save her.

“Sasuke-kun!”

Sasuke knew that Sakura mean that greeting to be a happy one, but to her it sounded more like a war cry. Eyes going wide at the now hurtling through space like there is no such thing as gravity Sakura, Sasuke placed one foot behind her other one in the very intention of executing a perfect about-face. Everything seemed to have slowed down to a crawl as her Sharingan got activated, forcing her to watch in horrifying detail as Sakura nearly brushed against her chest while she was twirling around to make her escape.

She never got farther than lifting her foot to take her leap to freedom for Sakura caught her by the waist (whew!) and began to squeeze her with everything she have got. If not for the multifarious strength training she had undergone through the years of being a shinobi, Sasuke's internal organs would have been fighting their way out of her mouth by now. Picture a hamster though that's being squashed to the inch of its life and you would get the exact duplicated image of what she is looking like right now.

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura whispered brokenly.

Being on the borderline of asphyxiation would have rendered Sasuke quite incapable of understanding what Sakura had just said, had she not heard it countless of times before. But taking into consideration the wetness seeping through her clothing, there is now way that she could dismiss the fact that the pink-haired kunoichi is sobbing her eyes out. She patted Sakura's hands hoping to both soothe her and tell her (without using any words, mind you) to get her hands off her so she could get some air. When Sakura did not take heed, Sasuke shifted a little (trying to wiggle out of Sakura's grasp really) and started to pat her on the cheek.

“Saku-chan,” Naruto said, sauntering to where the two of them are, “I think Sasuke's turning a little blue. Do you really want to kill him before the rest of the crew gets shot at him?”

Sakura thankfully released her strangle hold from her and had even withdrawn a step back, finally giving her some breathing space. With her lungs now freed from whence they had been lodged at the corned of her ribcage, Sasuke drank oxygen in thirstily, appreciating how sweet it is each time she filled her lungs with much needed quantities of it.

“You oughta thank me for that, teme,” Naruto drawled out, “I shouldn't even be saving you because of the treatment I have received from you earlier. Remember this?” He shoved the kimono that she had hit him with under her nose.

Sasuke jerked her head away from the offending object, nearly slamming her head against Sakura's face, who, at that time, was standing just inches away behind her. Realizing now that her decision of rushing into Naruto's rescue had put her on a spot where the inevitable confrontation would take, Sasuke back-pedaled into the direction that would take her farthest from Naruto and Sakura. Naturally bewildered by her actions, her two teammates gave her two, identical, befuddled frowns.

“Sasuke-kun, is something wrong?”

Sasuke shook her head zealously from side to side, shuffling through the contents of her brain to find the means for an escape.

“You nearly choked the like out of him Saku-chan, what do you think?” Naruto answered for her, his voice sounding a tad too dry in Sasuke's ears. For a moment there, it's as though Sakura is going to let this remark go without a hitch, but then the blond added a snigger into the mix of what he just said.

Like clockwork, Sakura decided then to get even as she stomped her heel down Naruto's toes. Throwing Naruto a heated glared, she hissed, “You want to get thrown out of the house?”

Naruto's face scrunched up in agony, and it doesn't seem like it is a question as to whether he is dying to howl in pain or not in behalf of his crushed metatarsals. Tears started to course down his cheeks as he repeated bowed profusely, pleading mercy and, all the while, trying to get his foot back from under Sakura's unforgiving heel.

“ah—ah—ah,” he hoarsely gasped out until Sakura finally took pity on him and raised her foot up. As if she had done this kind of thing before, Sakura held her hand out for Naruto to grasp onto as a support (which the blond did) and waited patiently until Naruto is done articulating through various facial expressions the stinging pain Sakura had delivered to his poor unsuspecting toes.

“What's wrong Sasuke-kun?” Sasuke asked again, looking for the life of her like there hadn't been any interlude that happened to make them loose track of the main vein of their conversation.

Sasuke took a deep breath. She would have to answer Sakura; she can't keep avoiding all their questions lest a more disastrous event happens. Like Naruto demanding to know who she really is once she gets pissed enough to accidentally yell at him using her sultry, so not Uchiha Sasuke voice. Worse comes to worst, it might even turn out that Naruto would find out in a very embarrassing way that it is not only her voice that had changed, but also a few other body parts as well.

She would have to deepen her voice for now. Who knows? They probably would not even notice.

Sasuke cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak, but contrary to what she is expecting, nothing came out. She couldn't do it. She doesn't have the guts to even attempt speaking to them in a deep tone.

“I knew it! That Orochimaru did something to your mouth, didn't he?” Naruto said aghast, clapping his hand over his own mouth. Bringing his hand down to his side, he narrowed his eyes at her. “No wonder something didn't sit right with me when I first saw you.”

Sasuke could not believe it. She doesn't know hoe Naruto does it, but this dobe somehow manages to come off as a complete idiot and a total genius at the same time in certain occasions.

Right now, for example. Naruto just saved her—he gave her the most perfect solution of all!

“You could not speak at all, could you?” Naruto continued triumphantly, and the one thing that is holding Sasuke back from jumping up and hugging the dobe is the fact that it would ruin what Naruto had unwittingly solved for her.

Trying not to let a smile spread across her face, Sasuke nodded solemnly, showing them, in so many words (well, no words were actually spoken at all) how depressed and disgusted she is about the whole being mute scenario.

Sakura clucked tongue again the roof of her mouth as she went to her sidle by her side, dripping wet and not caring a whole about it, nor to the fact she is getting her wet along in the process.

“Sasuke-kun, you poor thing,” she crooned, patting Sasuke's kimono clad back with a drenched hand.

Ah, you poor unsuspecting creature, Haruno Sakura. If you only knew. If you only knew.

“I take it that you didn't like Otokagure that much, huh, teme?” Naruto questioned, wiping himself off with the kimono. “Kabuto's far more annoying than me and Sakura combined, isn't he?”

Beside her, Sakura growled under her breath. Eyes flashing, she had unconsciously stopped patting Sasuke on the back, but had started to POUND her instead.

“Wanna run that by me again, Uzumaki?”

Hearing the menacing tone Sakura had used, Naruto let out a nervous chuckle as his hand went to his nape and scratched a spot there in a sheepish gesture. When Sakura made a step towards him, the blond had half the mind to back up and beseeched Sasuke for help.

Under any circumstances BEFORE would Sasuke actually get Naruto out a skirmish involving him and Sakura. But NOW, with the inevitable round of a more brutal kind of roughhousing (roughhousing take two actually) that the kitsune would be subjected to so Sakura would get her revenge for the second time, Sasuke could hardly control the urge to just pitch Sakura out the window so everything would simply end with that.

It is irrational. It is. No explanation would be valid enough to justify this. None whatsoever. She should not do it; shouldn't even be thinking about doing it. This is foolish—entirely foolish.

“Wanna run that by me again?” Sakura repeated, once clenched fist raised in front of her.

Naruto spluttered.” Uh, did I imply that you were annoying? Because you most certainly are---“

Sakura poked him on the chest, effectively shutting him up and making him stumble back. “You did not imply it, Uzumaki.” Poke. “You said it,” Another poke. “Outright!”

“I did?” Naruto squeaked.

After a glare, a poke and moments later, from the short-tempered Sakura, an ensuing war cry, Sasuke knew that they would be tousling right before her in about two seconds from now. And this, she is quite certain she would not be able to take. All the physical grappling that would definitely happen would only contribute to her blasted need to toss Sakura out and get her out of the picture.

As Sakura lunged forward to deliver her devastating blow at Naruto, Sasuke felt herself move. Even before her consciousness registered what she just did, she saw herself flicker right to the spot between Naruto and Sakura. Her knee rose not to her own volition and she watched in morbid fascination as it hit its mark.

Knee: Hi balls!

Balls: Oh, mother of God!

The kitsune toppled and rolled to the ground in a fetal position, gasping painfully. Sakura shrieked (or squealed? Sasuke could not exactly tell) her reaction in a manner that rendered all the molecules of the air into a frenzied dance. Ear shattering Sakura's voice might have been, that wasn't the really one thing that Sasuke's neurotransmitters are screaming to each other about.

Believe it or not, everything else had faded into the background except for the memory that imprinted itself on Sasuke's brain when her knee cap grazed that cloth covered genitalia. She is remembering all too well that soft scrotum and that very….very…..very…hard…Naruto junior.

To say that Sasuke is thunderstruck is making an understatement. If someone would get a second off their normal routine and take a peek at Inner Sasuke, for sure, you will find her stammering: “T-that…H-holy….S-sweet Jesus….WHY IS THAT COCK HARD?”