Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Sassychan ❯ Chapter 21: When Sakura Finds Out Part 3 ( Chapter 21 )

Author's Notes:

 

To my readers, this has not been posted because….ahhhh….(no, I'm not stalling because I am thinking of a lie….)….there's a really big storm that raged over the Philippines named after some Chinese guy (ChangXane something), if that is indeed Chinese, causing the whole metro's electricity to go down for five days. I still do not have a phone up until now (and consequently no dial up connection) that is why I am uploading this in an internet café. I finished this chapter about a week ago, but as you could see there was no way I could have typed it. (No electricity = personal computer being non-operational)

 

By the way, someone requested for me to make Sakura's discovery of Sasuke into a 4-part thing. So, therefore, here is part three and part four would be up soon. I hope. I will be throwing a few surprises on your way (curve balls, if that's the way you want to see it) just to rile you up, and make you go `squeeeeee'….

 

Hmmmm…..that didn't sound exactly the way I had pictured it in my head…..

 

Anyways, I would like to thank you guys for being so patient. Love me and give me reviews, okay? That way I'd be more inspired to look for ways to get everything uploaded no matter what. Hehehehehe. I'm not being too demanding, am I? But please, read and then review, k? Thanks.

 

DISCLAIMER:

It's such a beautiful day to ruin with disclaimers and such nonsensical things. But since the court of law does not agree with my view of disclaimers (it being such a trivial thing to give too much importance to, in my humble opinion), I would have to say (just for the sake of saying it, really) that I do not own Naruto.

 

Hey, do you think anyone would notice if I type the words `do not' in the phrase `I do not own Naruto' using the font face `Wingdings' and with the font size `3'? It's noticeable? -sigh—Hell. Let's leave it like that then.

 

 

Sassychan

By Boyarina

 

Chapter 21: When Sakura Finds Out Part 3

(Run Sasuke! Run!)

 

Shikamaru has a hunch and the one person that would make or break his theory is if one of the two persons facing him (not right in front of him, mind you, but, rather, several paces away from him) would tell him the truth. If she—if indeed she is a she—would not voluntarily supply him the information he is looking for, he would immediately and most certainly devise a way to extract this information from him, or her, or, ummm ….okay, let us settle that later.

 

Anyways, if in case it proves to be too difficult to obtain the information NOW (taking in consideration the presence of Sakura), he would, again, devise a way in the NEAR future in order for him to expose him, or her or, rather…. the `might-be-a-she-Uchiha' (ugh, this is getting too troublesome) and justify the accusation that he would make this very second. Now, now, don't you go thinking that he is getting all excited about this prospect of discovering the truth and proving himself right in all accounts. Please, Nara Shikamaru DOESN'T get excited over anything. The only reason why he is hastening the process of knowing what the real gender of this Uchiha is because it seems like the spell that had ensnared just about any male who comes near her (please let Uchiha be a HER!) is getting to him too.

 

Truly, he does not want to break up his engagement with Ino due to the fact that he is attracted to a male Sasuke, of all people! Personally, if he turns out to be gay (God forbid! He thought, crossing himself internally) he'd rather choose someone like Chouji. The man's sweet, warm, friendly, plus he knows how to cook. Chouji is his best friend and this Akimichi had never failed to compliment him. If they would ever end up as a couple (not that he is looking forward to this happening in the future), in Shikamaru's humblest opinion, they would not look too shabby together.

 

Okay, maybe we should get out of the topic `who is going to be Shikamaru's partner if he turns out to be gay'. This has gone far enough and Shikamaru's getting goose bumps (due to revulsion, mind you) from all the mental images his mind is bringing to his attention relating to what Chouji and him would be doing had they indeed got hitched.

 

Ewww.

 

Going back to the topic at hand, he probably should start interrogating Sasuke now considering that the Uchiha seemed intent on making him disappear ion the spot, if his—or her—withering stare is any indication.

 

“You are a girl.” Shikamaru stated, going straight for the kill. He is, and you all well know, addressing Sasuke, but considering that Sakura is a girl and she is on the general direction of where he is looking at, she mistakenly presumed that he is referring to her. Too late now, but what he should probably have done is he should have pointed a finger at Sasuke so there would no misunderstanding as to whom he is addressing.

 

Way to go, Genius.

 

Glaring at him, most certainly pissed since she thinks that it appears like it is only now that he noticed she IS a girl, Sakura replied in a frosty tone, “Have I proven myself to be otherwise?”

 

Shikamaru would have slapped his forehead in frustration. However, since it is not his style to do so, he opted tilting his head upwards and breathing out an open-mouthed sigh, wholly distressed for being read so incorrectly.

 

“Not you, Sakura. The Uchiha beside you,” he grumbled, which made Sakura look at him funny. Taking into account that she doesn't know yet the evidences that backed up the validity of his observation, he would let this one come to pass. Let's just see at who she is going to be looking at strangely once he made her see the factuality of his words.

 

“Shikamaru, did you bump your head on the way here? Did Tsunade-sama give you a concussion?”

 

Shikamaru could feel his right eye starting to twitch at Sakura's question. He took a deep breathe to dampen the rise on his blood pressure. He needs to speed things up and get Sasuke to just spit out and admit it before he starts raving like a lunatic and end up ruining his reputation of always remaining cool, calm and unaffected.

 

Worse, he could end up being like the Hokage.

 

“Sakura, I did not bump my head, the Hokage did not give me a concussion and,” he expelled the breath he was holding in one explosive whoosh and said in a louder voice, “Sasuke is a girl.”

 

If that did not get his message across, he did not know what would.

 

Sakura, unfortunately, burst out laughing. As she continued to guffaw (slapping her knees even as a sign of uncontrollable mirth), Shikamaru vainly tried to remind himself that this lady is going to be Ino's' bride's woman and therefore would have to be in perfect form (if not entirely alive) by the time their wedding date arrives. For the time being, Shikamaru is going to do his darndest to ignore her until she returns back to a normal person he could converse with.

 

Shikamaru, having been temporarily divested of someone he is arguing his case with, turned and focused his attention to the silent-as-a-statue Uchiha. The girl's eyes has yet to waver from the unrelenting stare she is giving him (no doubt, still in the process of making him go automatically `poof' into thin air). The only thing that has changed in her is that she is looking slightly relieved now and has this small smirk playing on her lips.

 

How dare they mock this genius! His analytical mind had proven itself time and time again and he is going to show them how right he is and how WRONG they are!

 

Shikamaru locked gazes with Uchiha, narrowing his eyes as he did so. In a challenging tone, he said, “Show us what is in the package.”

 

Just like that he had been able to wipe off the smirk from under that bloody-she-Uchiha nose. Acting similar to the cornered animal Shikamaru had likened Sasuke to be, she clutched the package to her surprisingly flat chest, eyes widening in what he presumed is fright.

 

Ohohohohohoho. Now, look who is ready to bolt and hide in the nearest crevice she could find?

 

Shikamaru savored picking up the triumphant smirk Sasuke had abandoned and plastered it on his face. His smirk broadened into a toothless grin when Sakura finally regained control of her faculties and joined in his interrogation.

 

“What IS in the package Sasuke-kun?” The pink haired kunoichi asked curiously, poking the paper bag.

 

I BELIVE THAT IS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION, came the curt placard written reply from non-other than Uchiha.

 

Shikamaru nearly started jumping around excitedly when Sasuke raised the placard containing her answer if Sakura had not treated it normal under these suspicious circumstances. Even though Sakura did not seem puzzled by Sasuke replying to her by the use of a placard, to him this is just one more glaring evidence that Uchiha Sasuke is no longer what she used to be.

 

Uchiha is a he NO MORE!

 

Warming up to his theory, Shikamaru confidently nodded to himself.

 

“If it's so confidential, then why did Tsunade-sama inform Sakura that she is to be involved in this Uchiha?” he declared in this `I-shan't-be-fooled-! Voice “I would bet that what you have there is a pregnancy kit!”

 

Dagger-like, that is the best that he could describe Uchiha's eyes are looking like right now. If she is trying to win herself a prize for glaring her enemy down and defeating him (or shutting him up in this case) through this method, Shikamaru would only be too delighted to inform her that she would be gravely disappointed. Why? Well, for one, he is winning in this debate and two, it doesn't seem like he is going to shrivel up soon because of that colder than Nitrogen-Oxide stare.

 

HAVE YOU BEEN CLEANING YOUR EARS NARA?

One side of Shikamaru's face spasmed in annoyance as he read the insult in Uchiha's placard. He was still trying to formulate something clever to retort to that, unfortunately though, Sasuke writes faster than he could come up with a witty remark.

 

Wow, for a person who is supposed to have an I.Q. far greater than a normal individual, he sure is lousy with verbal parries. He probably should quit his hobby of watching the clouds pass by and start practicing on clashing tongues with Ino (not the literal kind, you hentais).

 

WHAT THE HOKAGE IMPLIED WAS THAT IT IS TO MY DISGRESSION IF I WOULD LET SAKURA BE PRIVY TO WHATEVER SHE MEANS.

 

Shikamaru huffed, knowing full well that what he really wanted to give as a rebuttal may not be voiced out at all, lest it reaches the wrong ears. What he really wanted to say is that the Hokage literally means what she says; ergo whatever she said before had no other meaning to it other than what it literally meant. He had proven this so far in all the times that he had spoken to her, finally deducing that she is really just operating on one single level. In the Godaime, Shikamaru had not found any such junk like the hidden implication of what she truly means; the underneath of the underneath; nothing like the true-meaning-covered-within-the-lie-that-was-being-said-by-the-traitor-who- is-really-a-double-undercover-agent-spying-on-the-enemy.

 

Whew. That is a truly convoluted way of describing what the Hokage is NOT, but that is his view and his opinion of what his rebuttal should be to what that she-Uchiha thinks the Hokage had said. However, considering that he could not use this, Shikamaru crossed his arms, scuffed his sandaled foot on the ground and generally stalled for time.

 

He need to skirt this issue and attack Uchiha in a different angle, He scanned her from head to foot, looking for a female anatomy he could grab and shove to Sakura for inspection (never mind the bashing he would most likely receive later on). Unfortunately, there is none that he could detect (which is baffling), but he did spot the placard Sasuke suddenly twirled on her fingers.

 

Shikamaru's lips curved into a smile and his eyes cleverly traced an invisible dotted line connecting the placard to Uchiha's very female vocal cords.

 

“Sakura, did Tsunade-sama said that there is something wrong with Uchiha's voice?” he asked slowly, rolling each word leisurely out of his tongue. “Did you have Hinata or Neji take a look at Sasuke's affliction?” He paused, savoring the moment before delivering his killing blow, “Who said that Uchiha could not speak anyway?”

 

Sakura chuckled, but without the conviction she had in her resounding guffaw before. “Shikamaru, stop it. Sasuke is not a girl.” She inclined her head towards Sasuke, perused her for a second, and then shook her head. “It's just not possible.”

 

Shikamaru knew that he is about to break Sakura. She sounded so hesitant and so hollow when she said her last statement that it goaded him to come up with a solution that borders beyond his normal way of thinking.

 

Or it could possible be his testosterones talking.

 

“How about we check and see what's underneath that entire shirt and bandages?”

 

Sasuke stiffened, looking for the life of her like she wanted to have him chopped to smithereens. Sakura appeared to be undecided, torn between the decision of seeing a naked Sasuke (in the hopes that the Uchiha is a male, most likely) and retaining her sense of decency, while he, Shikamaru, promptly closed his mouth as soon as the words came tumbling out.

 

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

 

Having read Sasuke's placard, Shikamaru correspondingly winced. What is written there and the way it is incredulously phrased out is the exact replica of what his conscience is shouting at him precisely this instant.

 

“You know, Shika. I think we should do that,” Sakura suddenly said, interrupting the tirade of his conscience.

 

“Eh?” Shikamaru have heard what Sakura had said, but the meaning of her words was lost to him (his brain cells had gotten all muddled because of all the screaming his conscience delivered to them). He blinked dazedly when Sakura did not say anything further, but instead had taken a step towards the Uchiha's direction.

 

In retaliation, Sasuke took a step back and held her placard up.

 

SAKURA, THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

 

That's when everything clicked into place. Spurred on by Sakura's yell of “Catch him, Shika!” he geared into his hunting stance and took after Sasuke who did not hesitate bolting to the opposite the direction where Sakura's coming from.

 

Truly, with that Nothing-Shall-Be-Spared look on Sakura's face, Shikamaru would have done the same had be been in Sasuke's shoes. Minutes from now, once they have Uchiha in their clutches, they would reveal to the world what she truly is.

 

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Sakura don't like having things thrown at her. She definitely dislikes in particular are paper balls since they remind her too much of the spit balls used to be thrown at her back in the academy. This is one of the reasons why she is not stopping to pick up the hand written protests that Sasuke has in this who scheme of chasing him down and divesting him of all his precious clothing.

 

Number two most important reason why she is not picking up and pausing to read them is because she is busy chasing him down and contemplating at just what particular clothing should she start stripping him off (who is she kidding? She is going to get rid of those pants first and foremost!). Keeping her eyes on the target, Sakura licked her lips in anticipation of what she would get a peek of inside his boxer shorts. Would it suddenly become hard as a rock as soon as she slides Sasuke's pants down his knees? Would it be as pale as his skin? Would it be the same length as Naruto has? She hoped so! Naruto is by no means HUGE and LENGTHY!

 

Ahem. A little piece of insert here, if you please. For the record, Sakura had not come face to face yet with Naruto's member, junior, handle, or whatever you may want to call it. She had come by this knowledge because she had seen it in a picture that Naruto's previous girlfriend had taken during the time he was out cold and naked. She had posed a twelve inch dildo beside his dick when she had captured it on film, thus giving Sakura the idea just how long Naruto is. Believe it or not, that dick had nearly been the size, and had certainly been the width of that dildo Naruto's girlfriend compared it with! It was so awesome; she had been struck dumb when she saw it.

 

…moving forward (and away) from these green thoughts….

 

Shikamaru's a real gal pal for coming up with such a marvelous idea of getting Sasuke naked. Despite his weird notion of Sasuke being a girl (hah! Right!), he is the first guy amongst the male that she has known to propose having his fellow guy friend to be stripped down to his bare ass. Second to Naruto who had given her a preview of what is going to happen now (insert a picture here of the time Naruto brought Sasuke to their home and readied Sasuke for bed), Shikamaru is officially her model shinobi ever!

 

…again, moving further along (and most definitely away) from these perverted thoughts (damn you Kakashi-sensei!)…..

 

Sakura picked her speed up, veering off to the direction that Shikamaru had signaled her to go off to. It appears like Sasuke is going to hie himself off to the men's public baths. They would need to stop him now from his progress lest they want to end up with just only man doing the hunt and the take down. She is not, by any means, going to go and barge inside the men's public baths. It maybe true that Sakura is eager to see what Sasuke has got, but she is quite opposed to seeing other men's anatomy.

 

Just to set the record straight, she would like to have you know that Haruno Sakura only have eyes for the man she dearly wanted to hump. She would rather not be brained with the various not-so-glorious-if-not-downright-ugly variations of the male body found in other not-so-glorious-if-not-downright-ugly male species, which she would undoubtedly be given a presentation of inside the men's bathing place.

 

Though Sakura had been a medic-nin for quite sometime now, and had been subjected to situations she is required to heal a barely clothed shinobi, she really had not been placed in a scenario where she would have to heal a completely naked male ninja. She had always been lucky because there would always be that piece of clothing covering their manhood to protect their decency (thank God for small favors). Her illusion that all male penises are nice to look at (basing on the picture she had mentally stored of Naruto's member) has yet to be shattered.

 

Again, just setting the record straight, people please, let's get it out of our system--if you truly are entertaining such thoughts--the idea of her crushing on Naruto's handle. Yes, she is aware that she had mentioned the thing twice already, while in the act of chasing Sasuke-kun, but that's just because she is doing a comparative analysis on the scenarios she had mentioned.

 

ANYWAYS, back to the fact that she is chasing Sasuke down. There are two things that she could think of in order for her to accomplish this feat. The first one is to find a way and manage getting ahead of him so she could flash him her boobies. The second is to rain the surrounding area they are chasing him in with shadows so Shikamaru could perform his radically improved shadow bind jutsu on Sasuke, and consequently strap him down so they could get his clothes off.

 

If you haven't figured it out yet, the first solution she proposed is actually a joke. And, yes, she is just coming in terms to the fact that it is not the least bit amusing. But! If she does manage to pull off flashing Sasuke her rack (Where are all these perverted thoughts coming from?), Sakura is hoping that he would be so captivated by her wonderfully rounded assets, he would simply stay stock still (drooling and gaping) while she and Shikamaru check out his assets.

 

On the other hand, all joking aside, solution number two actually is a valid solution. Considering that Shikamaru had long unlocked the secret of stepping out of his shadow and leaving it connected to a source, filling the place up with crisscrossed shadows; shadows that would be created through the use of her needles and ninja wires; she would be able to create the perfect environment for Shikamaru to trap Sasuke, with the additional incentive of having the both of them free to wrestle Sasuke out of his garments.

 

Truly, with all that bandages wrapped around him, she would need all the help she could get.

 

Sasuke is about 10 meters way from his chosen sanctuary. Sakura would need to stop slacking off and prepare the net now if they truly want to achieve capturing him. With this in mind, Sakura quickly and expertly laced the ends of her ninja wires through a pair of senbon needles, simultaneously letting them fly in the opposite directions. She did this a couple of times until she had formed shadows of intercepting lines overhead. Then, she left one of her senbon needles, tied by a wire at each ends, pair in her hands, intending to give on end of the pair to Shikamaru and the other end she would embed to one of the tree supporting her shadow net trap once Sasuke is underneath its canopy.

 

The trick to why she has to do this is to connect Shikamaru's jutsu to her trap. You see, the one-line shadow would be traced via the senbon needle she is planning to give Shika to her trap since she would be attaching the other end to the lines of interlacing shadows she created. This line shadow would in turn be used as a source for Shika's stand alone shadow jutsu so he could then step away to help Sakura strip Sasuke.

 

Though technically, the one-line shadow is not needed considering that Shikamaru could stretch his own shadow to connect itself to the trap, the main purpose of this is for Shika to leave his shadow attached to the source connected to the trap and then step away so he could do whatever he wish to do. Like Peter Pan, Shikamaru would detach his shadow from himself and leave it to bind Sasuke.

 

Before any of these could take place, however, Sasuke would have to be set-up first so he would take refuge underneath her trap. There is still quite a number of senbon needles on her, which could get this one minor detail covered.

 

With her determination plied into the mightiest alloy found on earth, Sakura enforced her chakra into her army of senbon needles, sending them shooting into the ground and racing to the entrance of Sasuke's sanctuary. One by one, she had them hurtle out of the ground, merely an inch or two away from Sasuke so he would be forced to retreat and go to where she had intended him to go.

 

Her attacks had been successful for the first four times, but Sasuke eventually came up with a way to parry them. He produced four foot long snakes—rattlesnakes, in fact—through a summoning jutsu, and performing another seal, had commanded the snakes to create a sound barrier. The said barrier is created through a loud thrumming vibration (courtesy of the rattlesnakes) which had pooled around his feet, effectively breaking her needles into a thousand minuscule bits as soon as they came in contact with the it.

 

Sakura recalled the remaining members of her needle army to try another tactic since they are senselessly being annihilated one by one. Taking in consideration that surprise attack from under the ground doesn't work, Sakura opted to make a boomerang out of her needles and attack from above and on the sides. The only problem with this is that the shaping of the needle into a boomerang takes a few seconds too long for it to be immediately used to incite Sasuke to take the path to her trap. She would have to launch some of needles as is and risk losing them for the time being to occupy Sasuke and prevent his escape. Shikamaru had better get something going to buy her sometime or better yet get Sasuke to the trap.

 

Speaking of Shika, where is he?

 

Sakura made a quick scan of the battle grounds and found Shikamaru standing on top of the front gate of the men's public bath. A slow smile curved itself on Sakura's lips when she saw that he had taken the liberty of taking four ends of her senbon needle pair from the shadow net trap and crisscrossed their attached wires overhead of Sasuke. He had stabbed the needles on the wooden planks of the gate, no doubt to free his hand to execute the seal for his jutsu.

 

Following her line of vision with something akin to horror in his eyes, Sasuke watched in helpless fascination as Shikamaru executed the last of the hand seals for the jutsu.

 

Sasuke-kun is trapped and would be spectacularly stripped, not to mention groped!

 

Sakura would have cackled, but due to time constraints (Shikamaru could only retain this jutsu for the maximum time of 20 minutes), she left that devilish deed to be savored by Inner Sakura. Eager to know what her prize is, Sakura shared a nod with Shikamaru and as one, they methodically sauntered to their victim.

 

“We should probably check what's inside the paper bag, Sakura,” Shikamaru suggested as he prepared to pat Sasuke down to search for his item in mind. Sakura naturally thought that this is just a complete waste of time. Impatience and excitement to get what she came here for made her extend her arm out to impede Shikamaru's progress, saying:

 

“It'll be quicker if we just get him out of his clothes. You get his top off and check if he has breast—that is if he has those,” she snorted, “I'll check his bottom part and see if everything there is in place.”

 

For a whole minute, Shikamaru stared at her strangely (once again wasting far more of their time) then frowned in obvious disagreement of her idea.

 

“I think it is better if we check what's inside the paper bag first. Since if it is a girl item, then the only thing that we have to do is check if she has breasts to confirm it.” He paused here to switch expressions, going from deep frown look to strange look and back to a deeper frown look again. “And wouldn't it be far less embarrassing if you check is Sasuke has boobs or not?”

 

Sakura's hands automatically went to her hips. What in the world is Shika's problem and why he is contradicting her?

 

Thinking of a clever way to counter his question, Sakura snapped her fingers and leered at him. “I check his boobs—if he has those, and you check his penis if he has one? Are you gay Shika?”

 

Disgust quickly etched itself on Shikamaru's face. “Troublesome woman, did I ever mentioned that we would even check if she has a penis? She's a girls for heaven's sake!”

 

“Well, what if Sasuke turns out to be the type of girl with a very flat chest?” she argued, “We should check for the presence of the correct genitalia. Besides, why are you backing out now? You're the one who suggested this.”

 

Sakura crossed her arms and watched triumphantly as Shikamaru finally conceded. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes and exhaled a little too loudly for comfort.

 

“Yare, yare. I'll check the bag and you check the rest.”

 

Together with Inner Sakura, Sakura squealed in delight. She doesn't care how resigned and reluctant Shikamaru is with his decision. So long as she gets what she wanted, nothing really matters. In fact, even with the combined effect of a glaring `I-would-bite-you-if-you-come-a-millimeter-closer Sasuke, Sakura would proceed sans qualms and indecisions.

 

Mouthing a not so sincere “I'm sorry”, Sakura went down on her knees and poised her hands to unzip those precious pants.

 

Here goes nothing! Inner Sakura yelled.

 

Unbeknownst to this subconscious, and to this equally unsuspecting kunoichi, this very statement—that this NOTHING—is the very detail they are about to uncover seconds from now.

 

Sometimes, it's just tough being Sakura, don't you agree?

 

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Transcend. I need comments, reviews, suggestions, or at least, just a mere hello…anything….please…I'm begging you…. Anything…