Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Love ❯ Touch ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: All original Naruto characters, settings, plot etc. are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this story. …   Touch  

The sand bit into my thighs as I attempted to crawl as far underneath the parasol as was physically possible. I could barely believe I had come with them - again. This was the second time this summer I had been dragged to hell, though this time I might have put up less of a fight. If only because I knew already how utterly pointless it would be to argue. Perhaps if it were only Naruto I could have gotten out of it; I could have just punched him. As it was however, Mai, Mika, Lusca, Tessa and even Jose - which Naruto was none too pleased about - had bothered to drag me here. I couldn’t put up much of a fight without there being tedious consequences.

They could not, though, get me out from under the shade. No matter how much they complained, I would not sacrifice my skin in order to look like a child. The scratchiness of the ground beneath me was bad enough but the idiots had stolen my towel earlier in attempts to get me up. Needless to say they had failed. I won’t deny I had been tempted, and part of me still was, to go and retrieve my towel, if only to save myself the discomfort I was already in, but I was managing to refrain. I would not give in to them. I had no sun cream on my back you see…I couldn’t reach. So it was impossible. I would not risk it.

Naruto still didn’t understand this and continued to come my way now and then to complain. I had mentioned that it would be nice if he would bring me back my towel but the dobe had refused. No doubt it was due to the way I had growled the words at him and called him a hassle. But it was my towel! They had just left it lying in a heap on the ground by their bags while I sat here trying to avoid getting grains of this aggravating sand in my hair. That was what had happened last time and had it had taken me weeks to remove each and every molecule. Naruto was fine, though I doubted he cared, with his hair he had nothing to worry about. You couldn’t see sand in his for the colour, but in mine it was as clear as day and was less than flattering, nor clean.

I can’t say I didn’t find myself mildly amused as I watched them splash around in the sea like fools. But I would certainly rather be here, safe from the sun. Mai also often glanced at me and a few times even she had attempted to lure me out of my shelter. I had been less harsh to her, since a simple ‘no’ should suffice. Not like Naruto, who now had Tessa perched upon his shoulders while the two battle Mai upon her brother’s. I wondered for a moment where the other two were but let it pass.

The close position had my eyebrows furrowing; each and every time we were together like this I noticed Tessa’s behaviour. She was flirting more and more with Naruto and it continued to grate on my nerves. I didn’t much care about her feelings for him since they seemed purely sexual and less of an attachment than I had first suspected. It could pose a threat if Naruto were to become attached to her. They could not be together. It would not be practical. We would not be here long. If he loved her. If he loved her it would be a problem. So I was satisfied that she seemed only attracted to him on a physical level. That would do.

Naruto did seem to enjoy her physically as well. He tended to glance at her a certain way that I supposed must be attraction. But there was also something else. Something complicated in his eyes when he looked at her that I found unnerving. It was exceedingly difficult for me to distinguish, so usually I didn’t try. Though…sometimes he almost appeared sad when he watched her. I couldn’t understand it. Today though, I felt more irritated at their behaviour than normal. Especially when she fell from his shoulders and dragged them both under water, only for them to resurface moments later clinging to one another. Very irritable.

It was only when I felt something shift beside me that I noticed Lusca had taken a seat next to me. When he had approached me I wasn’t sure and it irked me further that my Ninja skills had slipped so drastically in so little time.

“Are you…okay?” He asked hesitantly. He was never one to pry into someone else’s business. But he was nice enough and cared for other people more than he should.

“Fine.” I nodded to ease him and turned my head to the water again. Jose had joined them from where I supposed he had been sunbathing and I could see from here how much Naruto disliked his presence. I still couldn’t see what the problem was, Jose was very much like Naruto; loud, attention-seeking, immature. Yet when they were together they completely clashed, almost as much as Naruto did with me, though I had never found a problem with Jose.

“I’m sorry you have to sit here by yourself.” Lusca said, uneasily. I suppose I probably made him feel difficult. He wasn’t used to being the one to speak, but I said even less than he did. “It’s fine.” I told him, hoping he would stop bothering himself with me and go back to the others. It didn’t happen.

“Eh…if you don’t want me here…I could go back with them, but - it’s just I wanted some shade, and this is the only parasol we took.” I felt sort of selfish at that. I had never been horrible to him, but I’d never gone out of my way to be nice either. It seemed he thought I disliked him.

“No, it’s fine.” I realised I should probably say something else, but I knew nearly nothing about him. In all the times we had been around each other I had never bothered to learn anything. In fact, out of everyone here - disregarding Naruto - the only ones I really knew were Mai, Mika slightly also since he shared my English class but not really anyone else. I knew them by appearance, name and personality but very little of their lives. Well…I knew this parasol was Lusca’s, it had been him who suggested it to me when I had tried to use my sensitive skin as an excuse not to come.

“Thanks for letting me use this anyway.”

“Oh no…” He shook his head rapidly before catching himself and starting over. “Well I suppose…but it’s not actually mine.” It wasn’t his? Then why was he the one to offer it? I was beginning to wish I had not bothered with this conversation. I must have shown my confusion on my face since a moment later Lusca answered my unasked question. This worried me for a brief moment; if he could read me so easily then what had happened to my mask? But the moment past as the conversation caught me.

“It’s Mika’s. We…we’re living together now.” He grew slightly more confident in his tone and smiled lazily. “We got a place together about two months ago…I though you would have known.” No, I certainly hadn’t known. The news interested me more than it should have.

“No.” I said. “I hadn’t heard.” The conversation could have been over but for some reason I wanted to continue. What could it be like living with Mika? He was someone with which I shared a lot in common and we tended to get along well due to that. But to actually live with him…I couldn’t imagine it. Mika was one of the angriest people I had met. Well…perhaps not angry; he had nothing to be angry about, but he was definitely aggressive and it was obviously a lot to put up with. Sharing a life with him couldn’t be an easy task - especially for someone as timid as Lusca.

“What is it like?” Because it must have been strange for him and by asking that showed I had an interest. Not that I actually did…I just wanted him to think that.

He paused for a while, a slow smile creeping across his thin features. “It’s different…definitely different. Living with a boyfriend is nothing like living with family like I did before. It’s so much more…intimidating.” Intimidating?

“How so?”

He breathed a short laugh. “Kinda intimidating. Well…I dunno. it…can be awkward quite a lot. Like Sometimes I want to keep to myself but I never can, you know…” He went on to tell me how much he felt they should move around each other. It’s not like I cared but I listened anyway. They had trouble almost constantly - eating, sleeping, even studying and spending time with friends.

“So it gets hard sometimes. Sometimes all I want is to be around him and nothing else, then other times I just like my own space. I suppose it’s not something you can understand until you experience it yourself…” He was right. I didn’t understand.

“Why don’t you just move out then?”

“No! No, I don’t want to move out. I love living with him. I really, really do. And we’ll get used to it after a while, I’m sure. It’s early yet.”

“But isn’t it simpler when you can choose when to see him?” I could almost feel the confusion etch itself into my face. I hoped it wasn’t as obvious as it seemed to be.

Lusca laughed, a warm, light-hearted laugh. “Well, that’s true. But living with Mika…living with him is amazing. It’s like we’re sharing a life of our own. All grown up and stuff. Did I mention how it gets tempting to just forget the rest of the world and do nothing but stay in with each other.” I didn’t reply. The conversation had long escaped me. It was silent for a while and I was gracious enough to wonder if I had offended him with my lack of response. I doubted it though - Lusca was far too optimistic for that.

I watched Mai and Tessa as they clambered about their towels applying new sun cream to themselves. In fact, I thought it might be a good idea to do so myself. Popping open the cap to my sun cream I generously rolled the substance along my bare arms. I offered Lusca some but he politely declined with thanks, saying he had put on before coming out. So had I but I said nothing.

That was when he offered me his help. For a moment I had stared at him with what I hoped was a blank look; unable to comprehend someone putting their hands on me in such a way. But then I saw out of the corner of my eye Tessa rubbing oil on Mai’s back and thought that it would be useful. If it wasn’t so awful having someone touch me. I’d never really given this much thought but it was strange wasn’t it? To dislike someone’s touch so much. It wasn’t normal. And for as long as we had been here and no matter how much we had fitted ourselves in, standing out was still not an option. And it would certainly help to have protection on my back. I was worried for my skin after all.

So I took a chance. I could put up with it for a few moments. At first it was completely horrid. I couldn’t recall a time when anyone had touched my naked back. The feeling assaulted me with immediate distaste and I felt like tearing him away from me. Every inch he touched felt like it was burning and my senses were so heightened to his actions that I worried he would take notice of how dreadfully tense I had become. I couldn’t even bring myself to check if he was insulted. He continued anyway.

I wondered vaguely when this had begun…when I was little I know I had no problems with people touching me. In fact I liked the contact; it made me feel warm and loved. This was cold and frightening. I wasn’t even breathing. So when had this started? In battles I had often removed my shirt and fought skin to skin and that had never bothered me either. But then…it wasn’t so intimate. It didn’t make me feel so completely at another’s mercy. And I did feel like that. I felt powerless and weak. God, he had barely started. He was only just applying the cream. I had to get him to stop.

My nakedness concealed nothing; my discomfort was in plain view and I thought perhaps it would make him hurry. Instead it merely made him hesitant and with it - careful - and with it - slow. It was interrupted quickly though. He had barely applied enough cream when Naruto arrived. Immediately I felt grateful when the hands retreated. Just to feel myself again was a relief to all my senses. That is until I became aware of my surroundings again. When I noticed Lusca jogging through the sand and back towards the others, Naruto nowhere within my sight, a dreaded feeling pooled in my stomach. Because I just knew that Naruto had taken Lusca’s place behind my back.

This time to touch was different. Naruto didn’t hesitate and he didn’t go slow. He wasted no little time applying the rest of the cream before spreading it into my skin. His hands felt distinctly gritty from the sand and cold from the water they had been splashing in. I almost shivered but kept myself firm. I wanted his hands off me as soon as possible. Just because the panic and burning was gone did not mean it was acceptable for him to have his hands on my skin. It was not.

But he was taking his time with the rubbing. The circles he painted on my back were hard and forceful, but not painful or harsh. My muscles, I could feel, relaxed under the pressure. He rolled his hands slower with time and in turn my feelings turned softer. It didn’t take a genius to notice that he wasn’t just rubbing sun cream on me any more. His hands kneaded my muscles tenderly but with bold caresses. I realised my eyes had closed and tried to pry them open again - with little success.

It’s the most awful feeling. When you know you want something to stop so much it tears your mind to peaces and yet you crave more of it with each second. I refused to admit this - I refused to admit that he was, indeed, finished applying the cream to my back. I refused to believe that I was letting him continue for any reason except that he was not finished. I refused to believe that I did not hate the feeling of his fingers trailing my spine or his palms stocking my shoulder blades. I refused.

Eventually it did end. After what felt like an eternity. And Naruto - that idiot - merely stretched himself out, got up, offered me a hand and said “Well now, Sasuke! You don’t have an excuse not to come with me!” I could have refused. I could have glared at him and insulted him and stayed where I was. But I didn’t. I got up, ignored his hand, and strolled leisurely behind him into the sun.

Returning home felt strangely comforting. After joining everyone on the beach they had managed to keep me there for the duration of our stay - until it was dark. We had succeeded in finding our way back home eventually and for the first time I was glad for the home to return to. Naruto sighed and flopped himself over the old sofa, sprawling shamelessly over it like a sluggish sloth. I hissed an insult to him before nudging him with my foot. I suppose it was meant to be a kick.

I was surprised when my bad mood didn’t return to me. Not even when I heard Naruto mutter to himself about ‘asshole teme’s and their mood swings‘. It only made me smirk and continue into my nightwear. When we had first arrived here we would normally just sleep shirtless with our boxers on. But when Naruto had insisted on a sleepover we had purchased sleepwear; if only to appear more normal. So I changed my clothing in the bedroom while Naruto lay unmoving - probably uncaring about his nakedness. We didn’t have trunks so what we’d been wearing today was actually Riki’s. I had been the one to begrudgingly ask the favour of him. He was more than willing to comply but I felt a little silly when Naruto made so plain his dislike of the boy.

On my return to the living area I found Naruto in the same position as when I’d left; I almost contemplated the idea that he was asleep, but I knew better. Naruto was far to active to fall asleep so soon. I made some toast for us in the kitchen and sat on the good sofa, throwing his food at him, knowing he would catch it.

“Jeez, you act like I asked you to make it…” He grumbled under his breath; he seemed in a worse mood than I. We lapsed into silence, not a comfortable one like usual but a strained silence that stretched out centuries. Something was on his mind. I wondered idly how long it would take for him to tell me. He liked to pretend he hated sharing secrets with me. He loved it.

“…Sasuke?” See? It came when I was almost dozing off; it was Naruto’s turn in the bedroom tonight anyway. I grunted my acknowledgement and felt him climb onto the couch next to me; atop my legs but I said nothing.

“Emm…I miss them. Back in Konoha. I wonder when we can go back.” I said nothing and he paused for a long time. “I don’t miss them like I used to.” He said and with such intensity that I had to turn to look at him. His eyes were closed and his lip bitten between teeth.

“It’s normal; you haven’t seen them in almost two years.” He didn’t reply. Not immediately anyway and so when he did I was already lying with my eyes closed again. I didn’t open them this time. His voice was soft.

“Do you ever feel like…like there are things out of your control. Things you’ll never get rid of but you wish you could anyway?” I didn’t need to be a genius to know what he was implying. I didn’t reply but he proceeded as if I had.

“I do. So much sometimes I think it’ll…I dunno. Like I’ll burst or something.” Again he paused and I waited, listening, though I don’t know if he realised how much I was paying attention.

“He used to talk to me.” It was a whisper this time, but it sounded so loud I opened my eyes again, but didn’t look at him. “He used to say things to me; in my head and show me things I didn’t want to see. I never told anyone. Not even Baa-chan or Sakura-chan. But he’s been…sleeping…I think. He never speaks anymore. I can hardly even feel him now. I keep thinking.” He stopped when his voice caught, and though I wanted him to continue I said nothing; I wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

I waited patiently and eventually he did speak again after a loud sigh. “I keep thinking if it goes on like this he’ll disappear - he’ll just go away and never bother me again. Like he’ll die or something. Rot away in his cage like the big fat bastard that he is.”

He laughed. “I know it’s not true, but I can’t help wishing you know. I can’t help thinking…” I couldn’t stop myself.

“I know.” I said. “I feel it too.”

There was a bang at the window and I knew on impact what it was. My raven had returned with another letter. So, dragging my legs out from under the idiot I made my way over to the window, opened it, took my raven onto my arm, closed the window, and then was attacked by the dobe. Yes, in a flutter of loud noises Naruto grabbed my arm in an attempt to get to the bird. Now, my Raven is very much like me, since he is a clone and therefore a part of myself. He doesn’t like big bright loud things attempting to grab him. It was not my fault that Naruto was then attacked by my Raven. It didn’t stop Naruto from blaming me later though.

When eventually things had settled down, I began to wonder why Naruto had been so eager to get the letter anyway. It hadn’t been very long since the last time we received word from Konoha so his eagerness was mildly puzzling. In any case he soon disappeared into the bedroom with the letter and left me and my Raven on the couch. I stroked his head and his wings, the soft texture and rich colour distracting me from how quiet the apartment had become.

I wondered if perhaps Naruto was just embarrassed about the feelings he had just revealed to me. But that didn’t seem much like him - Naruto wasn’t really one to hide feelings or to become embarrassed easily. So maybe it had something to do with the last letter we received. In truth I hardly read them any more. Most - if not all - were purely for Naruto and held nothing in them that I needed, or wanted, to know. However…

I knew where they all were. We kept them in a drawer in the kitchen. The third drawer down next to the sink. The one under the cutlery and the towels. That’s where they were. I would know since I’m the one who put them there. Would it be rude of me? If I were to, maybe, read the last one. I didn’t think so. They were brought here by my Raven in the first place. If it weren’t for me he would receive no word whatsoever.

So, making my way quietly to the kitchen I opened the drawer and look the bundle of letters out, picking the one from the top before replacing them. It was then that I realised my Raven was still there, standing at the entrance to the kitchen, looking at me. I let him out and watched him return to the skies. Return to Konoha.

The letter was not long, but it was written with very little conduct and addressed to Naruto. I unfolded it and began reading. Naruto,   I hope you will be able to decipher my hand writing for I fear it to be illegible.   You will surely remember when I last told you of Ino and Sai’s plans to marry. I’m sure I didn’t have to spell it out to you that this was not for love, but for concealment. And you do not know what stress this is causing me - being the one to tell you.   There has been an accident. Perhaps an accident, perhaps a set up, I do not know very much of it yet, however. They were caught. Sai and Aijin* were discovered this morning during one of their meetings at his family cottage in the forest. Aijin will be safe, having a wife and a child already, however Sai has been taken into custody and I have little doubt of what is going to happen.   Of course there will be a hearing and I have reason to believe that everyone who knew of this beforehand will stand for him. Including Ino, who I must say is taking this the hardest. You know as well as I do how much their friendship has grown and I am sorry for her - so sorry that this had to happen.   That is not the worst of it. There is more. Not only I, but Shizune, Shikamaru and even Neji have expressed their doubt of this being unintentional. There is no proof as of yet that someone had told the council of Sai’s activities. But I do not see how they would have known otherwise, which poses more questions of who and why. There are so little people who knew of their relationship to begin with that I am afraid to say it has been one of his friends - your friends.   I will contact you as soon as I know more. I know that by the time you receive this letter the case will be all but over and his fate decidedly carried out, but I will still ask you to pray for him.   With deepest regards and love,   Tsunade.   …  

Well. I think I got this finished pretty fast. Can you guess what has happened to Sai. Hehe I feel sort of cruel. I’m not usually so horrible to my characters, and I don’t even hate Sai.  

Hope you enjoyed!!!

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Aijin* pronounced ‘ay-jin’ it means lover.

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