Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Shower Secrets ❯ Shower Secrets ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Shower Secrets

Summary: Kakashi decides to peek at people in their most private time—in the shower, and learns a few things about his students.

Rating: Pg-13 for suggestive themes and language.

Pairings: Well, none really. Implied SasuNaru though.

Warnings: xD Does terrible humor/writing count as something that need's to be warned for? I like Sakura fine, but I think there's some mild Sakura bashing in this fic, it wasn't done on purpose.

I do not own Naruto, but I do have the same birthday as Naruto.

 

o.o.o.o.

 

Kakashi stared at the contents of his little book with a passion unseen even on the battlefields—even rivaling Naruto's passion for ramen. A light blush dusted his cheeks as he read a more avid scene. Sighing, he tucked the finished book into his back pocket and headed towards town for some sneaking around and perverted fun Thinking back to his story, he thought of one character in particular. This character had spied on his friends, who happened to be big breasted women and hot gay men, in the shower to learn their secrets.

 

“Perfect!” he shouted in the produce Isle of the grocery store.

 

o.o.o.o.

 

“So why/re we hear Kakashi-sensei?” one blue-eyed blond loud mouth asked.

 

“Shut up dobe, you're voice is so annoying. If you'd just close that mouth of yours he'd tell us.” Sasuke said, smirking.

 

“Sasuke-teme?” Naruto screamed as he clenched his hand, ready for a fight.

 

“Now, now boys. Save the fighting for the mud-wrestling, though Sasuke-kun, I'm surprised you said more—” Kakashi said, rainbow eyes clearly in place.

 

“What!?” Sakura interrupted, “Kakashi-sensei, what is our mission!?”

 

“Oh, that. Gai `lost' his special white-bright toothpaste somewhere in mud pile and we're competing to see who's team will find it first.”

 

“Translation-you stole Gai's toothpaste and you bet against him so you'll win.”

 

“Very smart Sasuke-kun! However, I can't remember which mud pile I threw it in.”

 

Sasuke gave his famous Uchiha death glare© and directed it at the two idiots in front of him—one who was currently squatting in the mud, trying to catch frogs and the other who had the idiocy to call him `Sasuke-kun'.

 

“Fine, let's just get this over with,” Sasuke said, sighing, “Dobe stop attempting to catch frogs, you'll mess up your brain waves from thinking.”

 

Sakura had a mischievous glint in her eyes before a large light bulb flung up over her head.

 

“I have an idea! Let's split up into 2 groups to cover more ground! Sasuke-kun will be my partner since it's obvious we should work together.” she said, `and of course I'll jump him when no one else is looking....kukukukuku.'

 

“Sakura-chan, that chuckling is really creepy...” Naruto said, horrified at the change in his friend.

 

“Dobe.” Sasuke said smirking as Naruto was nursing a large bump on his head that Sakura had just placed there.

 

“That's a good idea Sakura! However, I don't think it should be you and Sasuke. Naruto and Sasuke still need to learn to get along so they will be a team, and you and I will be a team. Is that Okay Sakura-chan?” Kakashi asked.

 

Sakura sighed and said, “Yes, it's fine, but you better not hurt Sasuke-kun, Naruto!”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Sasuke-teme! Don't be such a bastard to Sakura-chan! Besides, if I do hurt him it's his own fault for being such a bastard, Sakura-chan.”

 

Naruto now had another bump on his head to take care of.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

“Sasuke-teme, I'm bored,” the blond said, blindly poking the mud with a stick.

 

“Dobe, quit complaining and start looking. We've only been out here for 30 minutes.”

 

Naruto, being the infantile person he was, stuck his tongue out at Sasuke and put his feet in the mud with a splash.

 

“Don't be so immature.”

 

Sasuke put on one of his Uchiha death glares and shifted around a bit in the mud. Naruto grinned wickedly and picked up a handful of mud.

 

“Sasuke-teme...” he growled thickly.

 

Sasuke turned to look at the blond radiating evil before him and frowned.

 

“You wouldn't da—” Sasuke was cut off by a mud glop to the face.

 

“Oh, but I did Sasuke-teme.”

Naruto was smirking pure malevolence.

 

“Na-ru-to..You're going to pay for that.”

 

Naruto's smirk turned to horror as Sasuke flung mud at him.

 

“—Hey! DON'T THROW MUD AT SASUKE-KUN, NARUTO!”

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

“Sakura-san, why are we spying on Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun?” Kakashi asked, hiding behind a bush with Sakura at his side.

 

“I can't believe they're goofing around! We are on a mission!” Sakura mumbled to herself, gripping the binoculars tightly.

 

“Uh...Sakura-san?”

 

“Shhhh....Quiet! They'll hear us and—Hey! DON'T THROW MUD AT SASUKE-KUN, NARUTO!”

 

Sakura jumped out of the confinements of her greenery and stormed towards them. As soon as she stepped within three meters of them, she was flanked with mud from both sides.

 

“NARUTO! Sasuke-kun...I AM FURIOUS! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO THROW MUD AT ME! I AM GOING HOME TO TAKE A SHOWER!”

 

And Sakura stormed off while someone hiding in some shrubs nearby chuckled gruesomely.

“It's time to put my plan in to action....” the man said before creating 2 clones and running off.

 

o.o.o.o.o.o

 

Kakashi sent the two clones to Naruto and Sasuke's separate houses and ran off to Sakura's. His plan was so close to being completed!

 

He snuck easily into Sakura's house—she forgot to shut the door after removing her mud covered shoes outside to be washed. It took almost no time to find the fuzzy pink bathroom door with a felt sign reading `bath' placed on the door. Kakashi placed an ear on the door to hear a quiet humming, it seemed as though she was getting ready to take a bath.

 

The water came on and Kakashi let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He formed several symbols with his hands and turned himself into the appearance of Naruto.

 

`Naruto' knocked lightly on the door and asked, “Sakura...? I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

 

A crash was heard from behind the door and Sakura replied, “Naruto you hentai! Come back later when I'm not in the bath!”

 

Sakura threw something at the door for an extra effect.

 

“Well that didn't work...let's try this one...”

 

Kakashi was now Shikamaru.

 

He counted to 100 before knocking on the door.

 

“Tch, so troublesome. I was going to ask you something but you're occupied right now.”

 

Kakashi heard something else hit the door and Sakura yelled, “Damn straight I'm occupied! Now go away you pervert!”

 

o.o.o.o

 

“Damn....even Sasuke didn't work...what's it going to take to spy on this girl!?” Kakashi asked himself, trying to think of another male shinobi to try.

 

“Wait...there's one more...Choji.”

 

Kakashi sighed and turned to Choji, his chakra sure was taking a hit from this little experiment.

 

Kakashi knocked on the door one last time and asked, “Sakura...? Can I wash your back for you?”

 

Something seemed to be moving around inside before Sakura poked her head out the door.

 

“Choji...Sure...Choji? I'm s-so happy that you c-care for me so much...Co-come in...”

 

`Choji' walked in and shut the door behind him. Turns out Sakura's natural hair color really is pink, but Kakashi was so flabbergasted at the fact that Sakura....had the hots for...Choji, to notice.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

Kakashi sighed and started to walk towards the mud puddles he and his students were at earlier that day. He needed to check up on his two favorite boys. It had taken longer than Kakashi thought to get Sakura to open her bathroom door and even longer to let him go.

 

Kakashi finally reached the mud puddle Sasuke and Naruto had been fighting at and found that neither boy was there.

 

Kakashi smirked and waded through the sludge until he came across something floating in the mud. It was dark blue, had the Uchiha crest on one side and appeared to be...boxers. `Fantastic...Sasuke boxers in the mud puddle'.He waded through with amusement written on his face when his foot caught on something. Kakashi pulled it out of the muck and shook off as much mud as he could. The object he was holding was an obnoxious orange...and smelled like ramen.

 

“Naruto's...Pants!?” Kakashi shouted as he threw the pair behind him and ran.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

The dark haired shinobi crept into Naruto's bathroom with an unheard of stealth. A warm glow from the light above illuminated the room. Steam poured out from under the shower curtain, collecting moisture on the mirror across the room. It was the perfect scenario for some serious secret-finding-out, that is, until a sound like no other sound emitted from behind the shower curtain.

 

It sounded like 6 rabbits having an orgy party in the road while little cannibal rabbits ate them, barfed them up, and then ran over them with steamrollers. The man clutched his ears in agony and let out a sickened groan. Yes, Naruto's singing was that bad.

 

The shower stopped and so did Naruto's screeching. The shower curtain was drawn back and a blond head poked out, only to see Sasuke Uchiha clutching his ears, moaning in agony on the floor.

 

“Teme? What are you doing here?” the blond asked behind the protection of his shower curtain.

 

Sasuke blinked and looked up from his stupor.

 

“Dobe. I was planning a sneak attack to continue our mud throwing battle, but your terrible singing stopped those plans in an instant.”

 

Sasuke stood up and brushed off the imaginary dirt on his clothes. His smirk was in place and he was quit happy. Naruto hadn't realized that his shower curtain was a clear one. Though it was clear, it was still in the way of him seeing Naruto.

 

“Dobe...your shower curtain is in the way, I can't beat you from out here.”

 

Seconds later, the curtain was on the floor, leaving behind a stunned Naruto in all his glory. If anyone had their doubts about Naruto being blond, or even being male for that matter, those thoughts had been abolished that instant.

 

“Sasuke-teme!” Naruto squeaked out before grabbing a shampoo bottle to cover his man parts. It was too bad for Naruto he was way bigger than the family sized shampoo bottle.

 

Moments later, Sasuke had grabbed his nose and run out. Naruto put the shower curtain back on it's rod, all the while grumbling about `weird, pervert bastards' and finished his shower.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

 

Kakashi snickered when he looked at the time. Naruto's visit from his clone should be finishing soon.

 

“Sasuke-kun....your turn. ku ku ku ku ku...”

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

Kakashi looked pretty spent by the time he had reached the Uchiha's bathroom. It had taken him forever to break into the Uchiha Mansion and it had taken him even longer to locate the bathroom in use. Kakashi decided he would need to map out the mansion next time he broke in. The man just wanted to get this over with at this time, he was so in his thoughts he only listened for water running...he didn't hear the muffled moans.

 

Kakashi performed a jutsu and instantly, he was Naruto. `Naruto' opened the door and stalked in, not even bothering to shut the door. In only fluid movement, Kakashi had the shower curtain moved aside and thrust a banana he found in the kitchen into Sasuke's chest.

 

“Gotcha Sasuke-teme!”

 

Sasuke's eyes widened at the predicament he was in. He froze completely and didn't move, not even to blink.

 

“Uh...Sasuke-teme?”

 

Kakashi did a once over of Sasuke and instantly blushed. A light pink was dusted across the Uchiha's pale cheeks and his thin, pink lips were parted as he panted. Further along the trail that was Sasuke's body was a nicely chiseled chest, an obviously happy little Sasuke, and then well toned legs. Kakashi did a double take, `A happy little Sasuke....?' `Naruto' chuckled lightly, and then it turned to a full blown laughter.

 

“Sasuke-teme (giggle) you (laugh) jerk off in the (snort) shower? I thought you were an asexual (snicker) bastard! What were you (chuckle) fantasizing about...girls? Boys? A rock? (hoot) This is just too (snigger) fun—“

 

Sasuke removed his hand from his, erm, special place and slapped it over Naruto's mouth. With a threatening death glare, he whispered menacingly, “Shut up dobe.”

 

Naruto yanked the hand off his mouth and ran over to the other side of the bathroom. He pressed himself against the wall as far he could and bellowed, “Eewww! You touched me with that hand that was you know where.”

 

Sasuke was visibly angry. Faster than you could say, Twenty-thousand banana eating monkeys having wild monkey sex on their brother's couches crossed the road to get to the other side, `Naruto' was kicked out of the Uchiha Mansion.

 

o.o.o.o.o

 

 

“Kakashi!”

 

The silver haired pervert looked up from his newest, never before read, edition of Icha Icha Paradise to see one angry Uchiha.

 

“Yes, Sasuke-kun?”

 

Sasuke was about to open his mouth to speak when one high pitched screech intervened.

 

“KAKASHI-SENSEI!”

 

Sakura rounded the corner, a faint blush inhabiting her cheeks, and stood next to Sasuke.

 

“Yes, Sakura-san?”

 

The two shinobi-in-training answered at the same time. “What were you thinking peeping on me in the shower!”

 

Kakashi's eyes widened a bit, but that soon turned to rainbows when he smiled.

 

“How'd you know about that?”

 

Sakura answered first.

 

“Because I thought it was fishy that so many male ninja were showing up at my bathroom door and when I went to thank Choji for washing my back, I made a complete fool out of myself!”

 

Kakashi chuckled slightly, but was rewarded with a fist to the head from Sakura.

 

“I found this near the mud puddles this afternoon when I went to go retrieve my box...never mind. Anyway, I read it and figured out your plan.”

 

Sasuke threw the orange book Kakashi was reading yesterday onto the table in front of them. It was clearly Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise.

 

“Oh, that's where it was.”

Sakura and Sasuke's eyes glowed a vicious red while they prepared for their assault when a certain blond busted through the door.

 

He was panting heavily, obviously he had run pretty hard to get there, and had a tied up and gagged Kakashi shadow clone on his back.

 

“Kakashi...? I found this (pant) on my bed and (pant)(1) it took me forever to (pant) find your apartment. I ended up (pant) having to ask Iruka-sensei (pant) where to find it. Oh, and is (pant) there any reason (pant) why someone visited my during my shower?”

 

Kakashi put 2 and 2 together and started snickering behind his mask when Sakura asked, “If Kakashi-sensei's clone was tied up and gagged, then who visited Naruto during his shower?”

 

An uncomfortable silence was brought upon them. All eye's except cerulean ones turned to look at a mortified red Uchiha trying to sneak away.

 

......And somewhere, a ninja was without his special white-bright toothpaste.

 

o.o.o.o.o

End.

 

(1) When I first typed this up I had put `panty' here instead of `pant'.....I have a corny sense of humor so I thought it was funny....

 

Anywayz....Here's my first one shot/ Naruto fanfic and I think it came out pretty well.

 

Please rape my review button...please...or Itachi will molest you....ahahahaha...ha...ha.......ha.............ha...no really, he will....

 

Edit: I edited this because the scene breaks didn't show up, that really got me pissed...